The English language is a mystery to all of us, whether you’ve been speaking it since day one or just started learning it. From its bizarre spelling rules to its free-for-all grammar, it’s a daily struggle just trying to form sentences that make sense. No wonder people are turning to emojis to express their thoughts rather than coping with weird grammar rules that lead to some of the funniest English language jokes.
Unless you live in the Tibetan mountains or belong to an Amazonian tribe, you’ve definitely come across weird English words in use. It’s the most widely-studied language globally, linking countries and continents. Because of the rise of American power and influence, English has spread like wildfire across the globe through movies, music, and literature. That doesn't mean it’s a walk in the park.
Take a look at some of the most frustrating moments with this language, which will make you realize why English is so hard to learn. You don't have to look long for funny English language jokes, as they’re all there in our everyday vocabulary. Don’t forget to check out our similar posts about French and German language jokes; they might be even better than these jokes about the English language.
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The Many Meanings Of 'Only'
And they mean mostly the same thing, except for "She told him that only she loved him."
Load More Replies...You can also emphasize every word in the sentence 'I din't say she stole my purse.' and each words you emphasize will change the meaning of the sentence.
True. For every language I have any knowledge of.
Load More Replies...Only she only told only him only that only she only loved only him only. Sounds like a song to me. :)
If you've ever seen the series, "The Adventure of English," you know that it is not a single discrete language, but a ragbag collection of Saxon, German, Danish, Celtic, Gaelic, Latin and loan words from other languages as well. As for the grammar --!
"On" the sentence? You must be from Canada, where they put gas "on" (opposed to "in") the car.
Wot? I'm Canadian. You put gas IN the car, because that's how cars work. The mechanism is inside. I think this was just an issue of a spelling error.
Load More Replies...I placed it between the "S" and the "h" in the word "She". Nothing interesting happened.
Weird English Language Tongue Twister
They should have said “I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit. Upon the slitted sheet I sit"
As I say, " I slit a sheet, a sheet I shlit. Upon the shlitted sheet I s**t"
Load More Replies...If English is weird, we have a lot of company. Why, in Spanos5, is a pen feminine and a pencil maculine? Whyvis my neck masculine and my hand feminine -and why does my feminine hand have five masculine fingers? I wonder if there is a language on the face of this Earth that really follows logic
There are many, many, MANY languages which have this problem. Is quite common. Nowadays, when everyone is offended by pronouns, I wanna see how they plan to fix these languages!
Load More Replies...The Order Of Adjectives
Actually there are great green dragons, and there are green great dragons. they are two different things see because the first is just great and green while being a dragon, but the second is a great dragon which is green meaning it's better than the first.
Wouldn't that make it an environmental friendly Great Dragon?
Load More Replies......crazy little thing called love... *sing* ...makes indeed more sense than other way round
Yes, I am studying english at school and I was taught that adj in english have to be this order, OSACOMP : ) I am really surprised when I know that even native english speakers don't know this.
This is terrible. Especially if your native language is some Slavic one. We have no fixed word order. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Czech_word_order
Wow....I read that whole thing....how do babies learn it from infancy? 😮
Load More Replies...Actually, it depends - you absolutely can have 'green Great Dragons' - you are using a proper noun though.
People like myself who has english as their second language usually learn this order :)
It’s Just English Man, It’s Just English
English Language Pronunciation
Actually, "boom" is a poor description. Explosions roar greater than thunder.
Load More Replies...Welcome to English. Take a seat, some popcorn, and your packet of complimentary advil for the headache you are about to get.
The Odd One Out
Well, Spanish is a very diverse language, from region to region the names of things may change. In South America it is called Ananá. And the pineapple is originally from South America. It is called Piña (Pine Cone) in other regions because it looks like a Pine Cone. I guess in english it is the same (Pine + Apple).
Load More Replies...My dad used to call it 'the-fruit-that-shall-not-be-named', because he hated them so much. This was years before the Harry Potter books and i still think of pineapples when i read about Voldemort.
In Portuguese of Portugal we have both Ananás and Abacaxi , 2 diferent fruits with deferent tastes Ananas is most common in Portugal.
Load More Replies...However, this can become very embarassing. In many of these languages, it is also pronounches in a non-english way, i.e. ah-nah-nas with an a as in "harm". Now imagine a fellow guy from your country speaking english and telling you: "Yes, they had this awesome ananasses..." with an a pronounched as in "hand" (with the US pronounciation). Ouch...
Same Word, Opposite Meaning
Well, isn't this the case with many words? Like terrific, or also awful. an aweful beach, to my understanding is one that you do not want to visit, while you definitely want to hand out on an awefully great beach. An if you hear of a terrific beach, you better ask twice. Any native speakers here to explain? Even though I am afraid this might even be different in AE and BE.
In AE terrific is mostly a positive, while awful is mostly negative. Most people are not even aware of that they are contronyms. Awfully is used to mean very, and awesome is good. Most people don't even notice the split nature of these words. Terror-bad, terrific-good, terrible-bad, terribly-very. As most Americans don't learn a second language, one hardly ever reads a dictionary.
Load More Replies...Flammable and inflammable. I think these words originally were opposites but due to general stupidity and illiteracy they got conflated. We should keep a watch on literally and figuratively because they seem on the way to merging.
Nooooo!!!! I hate when people use literally to mean figuratively! It's just wrong.
Load More Replies...I have never known "peruse" to mean anything other than "read very carefully".
Not me, "peruse" means to read in a leisurely manner.
Load More Replies...This one is by far, my favourite. I laughed the entire time I read this. Thank you for the morning laugh and for taking my mind off crappy stress!
"All of you go to hell" and "...we're such sarcastic shits it literally changed our language." 😂😂😂 amazing!
stuff like incredible and amazing might not necessarily be good...
Same Sentence, Different Meanings
If you now add punctuation, things will get worse. What was about this "Let's eat, Dad.", "Let's eat Dad." example?
same as 'helping your Uncle Jack off a horse' and 'helping your uncle jack off a horse'
Load More Replies...And that is why txting can be a minefield. Without voice tone and stress on certain words, any text message can be interpreted in all sorts of ways
Why the need for emoticons and bold print and such ;)
Load More Replies...The Meaning Of Goodbye
In spanish, to say goodbye, you say " Adios" (A Dios) meaning "To God"
A friend learning English as his third language noted that English has "super words" and the most super is the word UP. "This is a hold-up." "That's up to you" "What's up" and his favorite: "You chop a tree down then you chop it up." How and why would you ever chop a tree UP?" he asked.
Except that "ye" was not pronounced that way - it was pronounced as "the." This is 100% wrong.
Nah, that's only "ye" as in "Ye Olde Shoppe", which is indeed pronounced as "the". "Ye" as a pronoun (plural of "you"), however, was pronounced as it was spelled ([jiː] in IPA notation). The Oxford English Dictionary (requires a subscription -- check if your school has one) and the Online Etymology Dictionary show that this is indeed true. A quick Google search ("goodbye etymology") works just as well. http://www.oed.com/view/Entry/79929?redirectedFrom=goodbye#eid http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=good-bye https://www.google.com/search?q=goodbye+etymology
Load More Replies...Much of the English language comes down to how it was written down by some guy a long time ago. Thus words and spellings that don't makes sense would make sense if we used the word as it was originally spoken, rather than how it has been transformed over time.
Words That Don't Rhyme
Sometimes we spell it "baloney" - And baloney and money don't rhyme either (sigh)
baloney is from the expression "full of baloney" bologna means the food.
Load More Replies...Don't worry, they don't. Unless you're American.
Load More Replies...English Is Weird With Its Silent Letters
Queue is a queue where Q is the first and the others are waiting in queue for their chance to appear.
... but no one else had any clue that it's their cue after Q
Load More Replies...That's because this is French. The letter "Q" on its own is pronounced differently. And then as a consonant, to my knowledge, it never appears on its own in French, but is instead always accompanied by the letter "u". Then we have he compound vowel "eu", somewhere between the French "e" and "u", hence the spelling. The mute "e" at the end is to signify that for some reason this word, which can mean "tail", or "long handle", or "line" or alternatively, designate a component of the male sexual organs, is feminine in gender. Just for fun, the word in context in some French idioms: "Faire la queue" - Wait in line "A la queue leu leu" - In a single file (such as cars behind a slow vehicle, or ducklings behind their mom) "Prendre un homme par la queue" - Manipulate a man in the cheapest way possible (figuratively speaking) Still glad I am a French native speaker who had to learn English and not the other way around.
Still better than French - write Eau. Don't pronounce any of the letters, but instead pronounce a different one.
La Queue (french) Qu : always together, pronounce as K Eu : [œ] sounds, it is represented in English as Yoo sounds, such as Europe. But its [open Ö] to be precise. E : in french words, it is not the fact but many case they have E in the end. It syombolise it is feminine word. '-A' is similar way in spanish. For example, Le Francais (masculin), La Francaise (feminin).
Queue isn't an english word at the beginning. That's probably why :)
If you only pronounced the first letter, it would sound like a K. Q needs other vowels following it to make a KW sound.
When you say the alphabet aloud, like in the song the letter Q is said like cue or queue, thus why they said it that way.
Load More Replies...Know Your A’s
Just as the word "eleven". Someone please tell Americans to choose one sound? Brasilians have to many words but at least we know how to pronnounce them. .-.
All the e's in eleven make the same sound when pronounced properly in English.
Load More Replies...Well, the first one is paired with an "u", so of course it's going to change, the second one is a long "a" which is common when the word ends in a vowel and the last one is just a short "a".
Strange though that the 'au' is pronounced 'o' (in Britain). The second one is actually a diphthong /ei/ and the last one is called a 'schwa' (short sound, not just and 'a').
Load More Replies...Ah-stray-lee-ah. It’s only two? But don’t some people say or-stray-lee-ah? I say ah-stray-lee-ah
It's the most easiest thing to pronounce letters/words in Serbian language (although Serbian alphabet has 30 letters) because every letter is always pronounced the same - no matter where in word the letter is: first, middle or end. For example, first "A" in: America and Amy has 3 different sounds - in Serbian A is always as first A in America. Plus the fact that in Serbian there's no letters q, x, y and w. Learning how to speak is piece of cake but grammar, oh boy. It is my native language and yes, you guessed it right, every now and then that charming grammar pops up with some "sweet" surprise. Greetings from Serbia - Pozdrav iz Srbije. :)
Correct Grammar vs Kinky Pirate
There's a book called 'eats, shoots and leaves' written after the author read info on pandas that had that exact phrase 'the panda eats, shoots and leaves' thanks to one little comma, it sounds like that panda shot up a restaurant
I thought the panda ate, took a s**t, and left. Am I okay? 😂
Load More Replies..."I built me a snowman" used to be correct. Now we say "I built a snowman for myself"
Why Don’t They Sound Like They’re Spelt?
Caught, bought, thought, sought, taught, brought, and fought come from catch, buy, think, seek, teach, bring, and fight; and they rhyme with pot, taut, and yacht
Well, sometimes one has to wonder that if we got for a lingua franca, why we not take something with less irregularities. Although I am afraid that most "grown" languages are full of irregularities (even though most probably not as bably as German – where at least the spelling typically is easy).
Backward Pairs
I am wondering if there can be rules found for this. Sometimes it obviously is the ending of the one word that harmonizes with the beginning of the other (or respectively not) in the flow of speaking, but in some cases...well, tradition I guess.
There is, I was actually listening to something like this on the radio (NPR, marketplace)
Load More Replies...No. You stop that!!! Stop that right now! It's blasphemy, you hear me? It's 'Sam and Dean'
Load More Replies...I read this all the way to Juliet and Romeo before I worked out what was wrong with these.
None of these are technically wrong, we just don't like it as native english speakers because of the placement of the tongue when speaking.
I'm not even a native speaker and I still don't like it...
Load More Replies...The Philosopher's Stone and Harry Potter The Chamber of Secrets and Harry Potter The Prisoner of Azkaban and Harry Potter The Goblet of Fire and Harry Potter The Order of the Phoenix and Harry Potter The Half-Blood Prince and Harry Potter The Deathly Hallows and Harry Potter My fingers are bleeding.
Beast and the Beauty, sweat tears and blood, wales scotland ireland and england
English Essay
Also assant would sound like a mispronunciation of assent (and sound like Julian ASSANGE) but a*s-ant, though never used, would require a hyphen.
Load More Replies...English Is a Funny Language
Oh, if you still are interested in that, just find a German class nearby. The good thing is, the more weird languages you learn, you more you appreciate if you come across languages that lack the irregularities where you expected them from experience.
Try learning Japanese - not only words can have double meanings, they have 2 alphabets. One is hard difficulty (hiragana) and the other insane difficulty (katakana).
Load More Replies...I'm actually doing pretty good, but I bet you'd struggle to learn French
u know its weird that you can not put can not in a sentence.. this hurts my terribly english eyes...
Practice Your Pronunciation
How many people like me started reading this aloud, then scrolled down, realised how long it was, and gave up?!
this is a good idea to use in a job interview when someone says he/she speaks English very well. I might rehearse my interview using these text 😁😁😄😄
This is all correct but Sooo badly written; what with awful poetry randomly mixed with just a list of words lined up to rhyme at the end of the line with the line before...except when it doesn't....ughhh....to an educated native Londoner this piece of writing is clumsy, ugly and not clever. It is an absolute travesty to present to people seriously trying to learn English. He should have given up after the first line. It has merit as a list of confusing pronunciation combinations which can be looked up and compared - but to try and half present it as poetry just makes my English eyes bleed. Please don't give yourself a headache even looking at it!
A Flawed Language
And for programmers teaching human language to computers.
Load More Replies...On her English test, Jane, where John had had 'had', had had 'had had'. 'Had had' had had better standing with their teacher.
The teacher noted that that "that that" that that boy wrote was correct. :)
oh god. english is my first language and this triggers me so bad
Load More Replies...https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buffalo_buffalo_Buffalo_buffalo_buffalo_buffalo_Buffalo_buffalo
I refuse to use "that that" in a written sentence. I will find a way to re-word it every time.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAHAA
The Mind Cannot Compute
This is why it's so important to get kids reading books. I read each of these sentences fine, without confusion through context. Close reading is key to communication and the English language.
To be fair, the point is that the words are spelled the same but pronounced defferently, so this is something you learn by talking and listening to English rather than reading.
Load More Replies...Again, context. Pain in the a**e but once you figure it out it isn't too bad.
This is why it’s not really the minute (pronounced as the time measure) Waltz, but minute pronounced min-U-ette to mean “small” but has been bastardized over the years to be pronounced like the time measure.
You can rid as much as yu want........sound shuld match ortografi with cliar fonetic rules
House-Spouse
If English beats up other languages in dark alleys, Polish must be Batman or some f-ing ninja. arOAPm6_70...c7e2b1.jpg
If English beats up other languages in dark alleys, Polish must be Batman or f-ing ninja. arOAPm6_70...3b265c.jpg
I think the reason that there's nobody who rhymes is because we're terrified of becoming rappers
English actually is a mix of lots of languages, it's purpose was so that different countries could trade with understanding each other.
Interestingly, rifle and riffle are two similar words often used incorrectly.
Tea Tea, Bread Bread, And Many More
pizza pie (pie pie) ATM machine (automatic teller machine machine) PIN number (personal identification number number)
Brussel Sprouts
That's so funny, what a laugh! As for the person putting you down for never looking it up 'all your life'...don't listen; I am a 63 year old native Londoner and until about 5 years ago I always wondered why Duck Tape was called Duck Tape....then I finally realized it was Duct Tape!!!!.....yes I am an idiot and my children still tease me about it but it's easily done. There are just so many words in every language and even though I love dictionaries and words in general I had just never followed this weird 'Duck' up!!....it's good to be able to laugh at yourself and give others a laugh at your expense; it shows someone comfortable with themselves - as compared to someone who seems to need to try and throw ridicule....come on man...it was FUNNY :)
I think there's actually a brand of duct tape called duck take, so . . . That makes sense.
Load More Replies...Am I the only one that laughed thinking about a celebrity named brussel sprouts? 😂😂😂
I feel like you'd look that up. I'd get it if you were still a child, but "all [your] life"?
I had the same problem when learning english. Who the hell lives in Gunpoint and why doesn't everyone just move AWAY from that awful place??
Brussel Sprouts is the not so famous brother of Dylan and Cole Sprouse.
It's actually Brussels sprouts. "The Brussels sprout has long been popular in Brussels, Belgium, and may have originated and gained its name there"
Sounds Weird
Peggy Hill was surely quoting General De Gaulle's wife. http://www.snopes.com/quotes/degaulle.asp
Load More Replies...You mean "Work alone"? That sounds more similar to me.
Load More Replies...The Oxford Comma
keep going Yvonne Bernal, we love your comments
Load More Replies...I always used it until my 7th grade teacher kept docking points because I was "comma happy".
If they want me to stop using the Oxford Comma, they'll have to pry it out of my cold, stiff, and dead hands.
My favourite justification for the Oxford comma: "To my parents, Ayn Rand and God."
I always use the Oxford Comma, unless my last two items in my list correlate closely (say, if I were listing off my classes, and two of them were English classes, then I might not use it, though I generally will). I feel like commas help to provide helpful hints to the way one would speak about things. If you were listing off your classes, you do not generally speed up and cram the last two together, therefore, the Oxford Comma seems essential to me.
That's irrelevant because there is no place to put a comma at all
Load More Replies...Don't worry! all of us sometimes put orange juice on our toast by accident. Maybe not by accident, if so then you should be concerned.
English Triple Contractions
I'm learning english as my third language and this just messed me up so bad
English is my first language and it still messed me up
Load More Replies...I'dnt'ave responded if it'dnt'ave truth to it. I know some of y'all'd've done the same.
Don't worry folks, this isn't English. Americanisms...I rest my case.
I've heard Southern people say y'all'd've. The other ones I know aren't said by anyone.
I'dn't've = I had (I'd) not (n't) have ('ve) It'dn't've = It had (It'd) not (n't) have ('ve) Y'all'd've = You all (y'all) had ('d) have ('ve) You'dn't've = You had (you'd) not (n't) have ('ve)
The 'd might also be "would" I think some of them make more sense that way.
Load More Replies...English language saw what the Irish language was doing, and wanted to try the same - I guess it wasn't popular.
English Language Meme About Rules
I have communicated via this strange language with my friends before. I can assure you, it is nearly impossible to pull off..... Aye aff komunikaded veea thes storanj lengaj wit mie frends bfur. Aye kin usher ewe, et es neerlee emposble tu pl uff.
If English is spoke correctly then these just do not make sense, again corrupted English
The Correct Way To Spell Potato
Imagine having to write 'potato' in a spelling test and you had 5 seconds to write that hideous thing
What?! "Hiccough" is pronounced "hiccup"?! And for years I thought some people called them "hic-koffs"!!
Alternating Stress Patterns
the button is the noun, not the 'record'; if you were to say "please record that for the record" then it would follow the stresses
Load More Replies...My contract mad me contract a disease, now im contracting in my blankets
Also, voiced consonants denote verbs- live a life, give a gift, halve something in half, use something with a use, grieve with grief, lose or have a loss, so on
Present the present. But also picture the picture, lasso the lasso, divine the divine.
Is English the Easiest Language to Learn? Doubt
always wondering why even native speakers don't know the difference. Also: if you're unsure about "affect" or "effect" just use "impact" :D
"EVEN native speakers"? No offense to native speakers, but I've got the feeling non-native speakers know better. Because while learning, we make sure we distinguish these things. Not even needed to do such a list, actually, because of the way we're taught these things. It becomes too logical to confuse it.
Load More Replies...I think, only native speakers make this mistake. English is my third language, and I always wonder when americans do this. And they do this all the time too...
Traditional vs Simplified
Well, linguistically speaking: AE is an older form of English that had less influence from neighboring languages.
Thor Sten is correct. From post 31: During the 17th century, English emigration to the North American colonies was at its peak, and the new settlers took the English language with them.... American English is like England's own personal linguistic time capsule. Our accent and many of the words we use tend to be what was common in English 300 years ago.
Load More Replies...Yes, thanks to Noah Webster, American spelling is simplified. This isn't a judgement, it's a fact. In the case of language, simplification is good because it makes both printing and reading easier.
But it does make it difficult to also claim that it's the older form. Interestingly differences like son (rather than sun) were introduced for the same reason. In handwritten texts sun when joined up was not very clear so it was changed to son male child to avoid confusion in legal texts such as wills. On the other side of that some of the extra (silent letters got added because copyists got paid by the inch.
Load More Replies...I'd hardly call American English simplified. Ba$tardized maybe 😆
simplified? As an English person to me it sounds more like corrupted !
As a "Yank" i'm not hurt by this. I am , however, more or less embarrassed at how the world sees us.
Load More Replies...Autumn vs Fall
I know it works GREAT with "spring ahead and fall back" - in reference to Daylight savings time reminders as to which way to set the clocks (forward or backward)
The "citation needed" makes me think this was copied and pasted off of wikipedia
Bruh both Americans and British call it both Autumn and Fall. It's not a regional thing at all.
People in America also say "autumn". I mean, I'm in Canada and WE do both. Also, the origin of the word and how the English did it before the Americans reminds me of "soccer" and how it annoys me when some Brits get all high and mighty about it being called "football" - "Soccer" is short for "association football" and the Americans only do it because the British called it that to distinguish it from other ball games played with the feet! However, American Football being called "football" IS b******t since most of the game isn't played with your feet - it's more like soft-core rugby.
I would like some evidence to back this up, it seems an American invention aiming to prove the Americans are more English than the English. It was not only the English that immigrated from Britain, so work that one out?
In Czech, the word for November is "listopad" which literally means "leaffall". :) Actually, all of our months have weird poetic names for some reason. Yet, the Slovak language, which is very similar to Czech, uses the usual names derived from latin (?) so they're almost identical to English.
Is there a way to say 'vernal' when using 'spring'?
Load More Replies...Grammatically Correct Sentences
Smith is my last name and it doesn't look familiar anymore.
Load More Replies...This is yet another example where "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo." could fit...
Smith Will will smith is correct too. (the) smith (whose name is Will) will smith. In fact you can also switch the two last words, so Smith Will smith will is also correct!
I'm good at english, or at least thought I was untill I saw these posts. What is wrong with these people?
Goose And Geese
I think it is amazing to see how closely many languages are intertwined. Therefore, people talking about "supremacy" of languages will often have no clue. On the other hand, other language families are quite fascinating in comparison, particularly if you consider the "efficiency" of saying something. And then, having isolated non-related languages (like Basque) are truly fascinating.
It's called the Indo-European Language Tree, look it up, it's actually very interesting.
Load More Replies...mouse > mice, louse > lice, house > hice? I mean, those words even seem to have a common origin, because in German, they rhyme too! (Maus, Laus, Haus)
Even more fun facts. Early European settlers to America were not very familiar with most game animals, since hunting was generally reserved for royalty. So when they ran across an animal bigger in body and antler than the normal deer, they called it an "elk" even though that particular animal is more closely related to a hart. When they finally did see an elk, or elg as Norwegians say it, they were out of words and had to use the Native American word. Norwegians think this is nuts, because in Norway "moose" is spelled "mouse" and is hunted with a cat.
This just reminded me of the Brian Regan joke. The plural of "ox" is "oxen," therefore "box" should be "boxen". But when told the pluarl of "goose" is "geese," Brian claimed that "moose" became "moosen." . . . . He saw a flocken of moosen in the woodsenenend (please tell me I am not the only one to know of this comedian and this joke).
Questions And Answers
I think we sould use "tho" to refer to a specific person and "thy" for a cause to complete the pattern.
There's also the h-w-t terms for location: Here. Where? There. Come hither. Whither? Thither. Hence ... whence? Thence. Granted - we don't use thither and whither very often, but they exist. And the -ither stands for "to," and the "-ence" stands for "from." I love purposeful words.
It Isn’t What It Is
Eggplants were called that because the variety first introduced to the Europeans looked like an egg (you can see them if you look it up, they're white), pineapple was called that because it looks like a pine cone and "apple" was a generic word for "fruit", hamburger is from the "Hamburg steak" which is a kind of ground beef dish. Here are theories about the "guinea pig": http://www.grammarphobia.com/blog/2009/12/how-did-the-guinea-pig-get-its-name.html
Congratulations. You spent even more time on a hopeless language
Load More Replies...It's called a hamburger because of a dish called Hamburg Steak which came to the US from German city of Hamburg in the 19th century 🙂
Yup. As a German I always loved the coincidence with "ham" though.
Load More Replies...Most of the rest of the world calls eggplants aubergines. Most of the rest of the world calls pineapples ananas. English just likes to make up stuff randomly.
I love the hindi word : baigan, rhyming with bacon except for the g. It should be adopted. Eggplant is weird.
They not only sound a lot like pigs, they also look like miniature pigs (to a small degree).
Classical music is from long after the classical era, hot dogs have nothing to do with dog (we hope), French fries are not from France, German chocolate cake is not from Germany, the hamstring isn't a string, and Polo shirts were designed for use in golf.
eggplants were originally white, and looked kind of like eggs. for some reaspn, the odd purple mutation became more popular though, and nobpdy can easily see why the name.
I Before E
still doesnt work. there's no "c" in feisty, where "e" comes before "i". Just like when you run a feisty heist with a beige foreign neighbor. Sorry :')
Load More Replies...In the words of Brian Regan, "I before e except after c, and when sounding like a as in neighbor and weigh. And on weekends and holidays and all throughout May, and you'll always be wrong no matter what you say!"
I before e for words making the eee sound like achieve and believe.
The full rhyme is "I before E except after C, or when sounding like "Ay" as in "neighbor" and "weigh". So, beige does technically follows that rule.
This is a problem because you're only using the first half of the quote. The FULL quote is " i before e except after c when it rhymes with d " Now, I think, you will find it works without fail. You're welcome.
Wait... "i before e except after c and words that sound like a" Where the f**k did "rhymes with d" come from?
Load More Replies...I before e except after c or when sounding like A as in neighbor or weigh... Ahhh.. English literary science.
Opposites
alternatively, aubergine. that's my default. :)
Load More Replies...Only called an eggplant in US english, in UK English that particular vegetable is called an aubergine
Funny English Where Everything Fits Together
Not the same ones, but good enough? https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/277376962/set-of-12-adult-content-f-cards-f-it-me?ref=related_listings
Load More Replies...The F word is rarely used in English amongst decent people, in America it seem EVERYONE uses it, why?
Spelt Or Spelled
I say "spelt". 🙂 Seems to depend on what part of the country you're in, and how big a reader you are. Both spellings are correct.
It depends on whether you're talking about the wheat or spelling. Spelt can be one of two words.
A Jar
now enter "ajar jarjar in a jar in an ajar jar" in google translator and click on "pronounce" 🤣😂🤣
lmao. I legitimately put it in google translate for this.. beautiful
Load More Replies...Harrison Ford in a 4'd Ford in a ford H-Ford-in-...381797.jpg
एक अजर जार में एक जार में अजर जार - I translated it to Hindi...I'm gonna try bengali, tamil and all other Indian languages later. It already doesn't make sense...
British English
When English Is Not Your Native Language
Français. C'est difficult, mais il est super. I only speak some French.
Load More Replies...As a French who grew up abroad and came back living in that country a couple years ago, I figured if French are so bad with foreign accents (or even different French accents), it's because they are deeply convinced they can't do it. The French have this failure-culture that has spread so widely that anything that isn't widely considered "easy", is unconsciously considered impossible. And you know, when you trust that much it's impossible: when you give it a try, you give it such a loose try that it's meant to fail, which quickly justifies your idea that it was impossible. It's a simple common cognitive bias. (The funniest part is there's renowned an expression in French that goes "Impossible is not French", lmao) But also, the French have this incredible culture of self-justification to legitimize their failure, all the time, which is culturally well accepted and supported. It's never "them", it's "life", or the "government", or the "social system" that is too "Capitalist" for them (when it's the opposite, "unemployment" being the safest job here), or really, any other reason. Every time. See "Yellow Vests Movement" for reference (even tho that movement started for the better, it was quickly turned into the worse). The French culture as is, is meant to disappear. Too weak. Doesn't match with the nature's law that is "the law of the fittest"
I'm learning Norwegian as a native english speaker and it's complete hell. It's not phonetic, JEG IS PRONOUNCED "YIAY", and the only sentences I remember from DuoLingo are "Endene spiser ikke talerkenene" and "Har du klaer pa deg" (There are probably a hell of a lot of typos and I'm sorry.)
Could even be when _______________ is not your native language. When I learned Spanish, I became proficient at reading first, then listening, then speaking, and finally writing.
So... can you write English? Is it a problem of knowing the words or pronouncing them?
Literally
I haven't been there in a while, but he at least USED to be quite s****y.
Load More Replies...Same idioms in French. Like, literally. Now with the French language's influence over modern English, it's understandable. We also got "Dying laughing" in French and in English, which would mean you aren't there anymore to even specify that since you're dead and so on. It's called an Hyperbolism backed with an impacting image. Simply exaggerating a fact to let the audience know you either really liked something, or really hated it. It's cultural. Now the "I got your back", we don't have it in French, but it's simple to understand why the expression: if the guy's going to fall, you're going to support his back to not let him fall to the ground, hence preventing him from falling. So really, I don't understand why this is considered an actual linguistic quirk. Both French and English are languages that use a lot of images to express stuff. Cultural.
Literally always has been and always will be a contronym. Not only is literally mostly used to mean figuratively, but the word only ever means specifically in a figurative sense.
Or your using the word literally in a non-issue sense. Mark Twain often used witty humor, and famously wrote that Tom Sawyer was "literally swimming in wealth".
An even earlier example of figurative literally would be from Frances Brooke's "History of Emily Montague IV" from 1769: "He is a fortunate man to be introduced to such a party of fine women at his arrival; it is literally to feed among the lilies"
Load More Replies...Fake Words
A little portion of whatever is left (last bit of coffee in a jar for example). It's either that, or the funniest way to explain censorship in mature content when you're bad at English as a non-native speaker.
Load More Replies...What's the English word for rendezvous? Scheduled meeting? It seems so sexual... rendezvous*slow sexual voice* sigh
Hey..Rendezvous is pronounced as "Ron-day-woo" . LOL
Load More Replies...Don't even try sailing terms... Gunwhale is "gunnel," forecastle is "fohxle," and boatswain is "bohsun."
Floccinaucinihilipilification. Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. Sesquipedalian. Pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism. Antidisestablishmentarianism. (and several more that I don't remember the spelling of... the above I actually had memorized) . . . . And then there are words like Euouae. Great.. just great.
Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is a disease caused by breathing volcano ash.
Load More Replies...I've always found "vlog" very unenglish, it's like the only English word that begins with vl-
All those words are 100% French without the slightest variation except for Rendez-vous which has the "-" missing. On the other hand Tittynope isn't French at all, and yacht is Dutch for "jacht". Goddamn, y'all saying English is non-sensical, but with the average culture y'all got, it makes sense you feel that way x) < Pun intended.
Pronounce Like You Spell
Yes, and it's not ti that makes the sh sound, it's either tion or tian that makes sh. In fact, you probably don't need that n at the end
Load More Replies...So how do you pronounced Matthew McConaughey please haha? it's been a mystery for me for years. The 'ti' pronunciation is actually "tion" pronunciation as a whole.
Spell socks as "atswaawerecast" - atswa in boatswain, awe in awesome, and recast in forecastle.
English Rhymes
But "lead" does not rhyme with "read" and "lead" does not rhyme with "read" IYKWIM
Stop This Madness
You should read "polish" as "polish", but don't read "polish" as "Polish", or "Polish" as "polish"..
There's a joke about polish remover vs Polish remover.... The joke is in poor taste so I won't give you the punch line.....
I was half asleep in my own bathroom once and wondered why I had a bottle of Polish remover...
I always read the word palish as pole-ish first." "I always reed reed as reed first before I reed reed as red instead." That's the way I read it . . .
English is Weird
I think about this too all the time! I've decided that instead of "Why can't you" being "Why can not you," it means "Why can you not," despite the basic grammar rules being weird. I guess it's just implied?
Implied and simplified. Afterall, what's important is getting the thought across.
Load More Replies...I only have this problem with "let's". "Let us" sounds completely different.
That's because when you say "Don't you dare" you're really trying to tell the person "Do not dare" ACTION. Since typically you would say that phrase directly to a person, the "you" is implied. For example: You don't want your toddler to draw on the wall, so you say "Don't you dare" but what you mean is "Do not dare draw on that wall." Context is everything
Oddly seems pretty logical and natural when you learn English as a second language.
Which is Which
why did I read this comment in Boris's voice(rocky and Bullwinkle) from prime?
Load More Replies...It’s ALWAYS carAmel. Anyone dropping the second A is pronouncing it incorrectly.
Simple - The difference between American corrupted English and True English complicates things, speak true English life would be so much easier.
Oh yeah, I've always wondered how the French word "content" (satisfied/happy) sneaked in the English language when there's already "content" that also comes from the French word "contenu"...LMAO. F****d up
The first person to popularize pronouncing data with a long 'a' at the beginning was Patrick Stewart when they were doing the table read for the pilot episode of "Star Trek: The Next Generation".
English Language is Contradictory
Why is the word Abbreviation so long and why is the word phonetic not..
Why do they call the fear of long words Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?
every wonder why the word for the phobia of long words is a huge long a**e word?
Denial. Because a phobia keeps you from facing your fear
Load More Replies...Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Why does the word "short" have more letters in it than the word "long"?
Aisle Be There for You
That also depends on accent. I'll isn't pronunced the same as aisle and isle where I'm from on the States.
Really? Where are you from? I'm from the DC area, but went to school in the Boston area, and that's the pronunciation here. Is it a Southern thing to have them different?
Load More Replies...If you knew how many French words are spelled differently yet pronounced the same, you wouldn't mock English for it x). It's hell for foreigners learning French.
I've lived in NY, KY and MO and I'll is slightly different then the other 2
Brain Hurty
it's weird cause in our language had-had means tinea cruris in medical terms. hahaha
So you could say "he had had had-had" to mean in the past, that guy suffered from tinea cruris.
Load More Replies...DID YOU JUST SAY "had" 11 TIMES IN A ROW AND IT ACTUALLY MADE SENSE???
In almost all circumstances you can avoid “had had” and also drop “had” from creating double past tense such as “he had busted his knee.” Busted is already past tense, there’s absolutely no need to have a superfluous “had” before it.
read it aloud without punctuation and watch everyone's faces change to "what have you been smoking?"
"All the faith he had had had had no effect on the outcome of his life."
Say you have two possible things: one exists, and the other does not. If someone said they were different, and you said they were wrong, you would actually be wrong. That that that is that that is not is not that that is that that is is not true is not true.
Thrice Removed
I'm a do... indeed, it's interesting how it seems to be an ongoing increasing contraction of 'I am going to do' - but interesting also how it now is indistinguinshable from a contraction of simply, 'I am to do'!
I judge people that say I'ma. I lump it in the same category as using E'ry instead of Every and Her instead of Here. It's just lazy and makes you sound kind of stupid.
For some reason "I'ma" doesn't bother me, but the other things you mentioned do.
Load More Replies...One for All and All for One
"All the faith he had had had had no effect on the outcome of his life."
Do. I do "do." I do do, "do 'do.' " Now, I do do, "I do do, "do do, 'do "do." ' "
Dedicated Rick Roll
Rickrollé in French, which is the basic way in French to appropriate an English word
There's an entire article on the phenomenon that was (is) part of an internet history class. It's a short read, but fascinating. https://www.thisworldthesedays.com/academias-history-of-internet-teaching-article.html
Make It Make Sense
Am I the only one who thought 13 had more to do with the usage of "to" vs "too" than pronouncing close?
When it says too close, the s is pronounced like an s. When it says to close, the s is pronounced like a z.
Load More Replies...I Think Therefore I Yam
But it is a sweet potato. Yams and sweet potatoes are not the same thing! yam-sweetp...9c0212.jpg
Honestly, I have it worse. After reading these posts I have forgotten how to read/speak english altogether. I read: *cries*
This would make more sense to the older generations who grew up watching Popeye the sailor man cartoons.
It's a sweet potato, not a yam. Yams are very starchy tubers with white flesh. Thought they appear similar they are completely unrelated. Sweet potatoes, like potatoes, belong to the taxonomic order Solanales, yams belong to the order Dioscoreales.
Beauty in Language
Yeah, that's English for you. English is built out of the best pieces of other languages.
Load More Replies...Okay great, now I can call myself an ailurophile instead of a cat lover
Agree with everything except Bucolic. I don't care what it means, it sounds like a particularly nasty stage of the bubonic plague.
Vestigial only sounds nice if you say "vesteezheeal" (like me) rather than "vestijool" ( like everyone else).
Is mmm a word? Universal declaration of deep-seated approval. The longer you make the word, the more you approve.
Thank you, this was truly an unexpected "Lagniappe". Nevertheless, as pointed out by Daria B lots of these are French, Latin or Native American.
ok i can already see majority of this aren't even english i'm going to point out the one's i know the origin of - Bugalow(it's a bengali word.i'm bengali so spotted it right away),Ratatouille(french),Seraglio(persian to italian).actually,there's only couple of words that are original english.all of them are non-english -_-
Weird English Language Nightmare
I know this cause I am from the south, also all y’all means all you all
Load More Replies...I once spent an evening teaching some folk from California the implications and differences between "y'all" and "all y'all"
The worst multi-contraction I've's "y'all'd've'd'd've", as in "Sorry he already left, if you wanted to say goodbye, the last chance y'all'd've'd'd've been last night." Yes, I know it's not pronounceable; if you think I'm doing this just to be a jerk, you're right, I'm.
Bad American English again, someone needs to seriously sort the "English" teachers out in the USA
Preposition Problems
I could be wrong but here's why I think it makes sense. January is a month, a month is a time period that contains somethings (weeks and days) so for anything that contains anything, we say it's in it. "Oh the dinner is in the fridge" For Wednesday it's a day, and many times people ask when something is happening or "when is it on?" and so you say it's "on Wednesday". The same goes for time except you say "on at" because the use of "at" when it comes to clock time is due to the use of the clock. At is used to describe where the clock hand is at.
Months contain weeks and days, yes. But days contain hours, and hours contain minutes. Speaking of which we say "The show's on in fifteen minutes" so there's "in" again. I could go on but my brain is already hurting enough.
Load More Replies...That's probably one of the worst things people who are learning english as a second/third/etc language have to understand (or at least try)
Many Words With The Same Meanings
Am I the only one who says "i'm'na" instead of "I'ma" as a contraction of I'm gonna? I also say I'da for I woulda and i'v'n for I've been.
Whenever I say something like, "it's not" I wonder whether "it isn't" would've been better.
English Language Meme
Technically you'd pronounce it as sal-mo-nel-la; we're just lazy and run the last two L's together so it only sounds like 1.
Load More Replies...you pronounce salmonella as sal-mo-nella...but you don't care to pronounce "Queue" as "kuwayy" or "kaay" and only pronounce the "Q" please kill me
Idgaf at this point, the english language has confused my to the point where "Salmonella" is now "Samenelluh"
no, after words like wor(ce)ster, lei(ce)ster, and countless others, it is actually very satisfying
Pretty Odd
I've been told I'm half pretty and half ugly. I guess that makes me pretty ugly.
lololololololololololololololololololol that means you are quite ugly(no offence)
Load More Replies...once i wanted to tell my bf she is pretty mature but accidently hit enter soon. She was surprised and happy. That was the first time i call her pretty. Never tell her about this.
Some politicians are extremely neutral and quite nonspecific, but others are impartially biased and their words vary very verily.
Give and Take
I have to GIVE the dog a bath before I TAKE one myself. I could take a bath with the dog but he might give me a cold. Interesting though one cannot one usually does not say " I probably "took" a cold from the dog. Although a rather formal and old way of talking speaks of people getting sick as people "taking ill" (ie "she took ill last friday and hasn't seen any gentlemen callers since") It's wild and wonderful how so much of assumed lingual abstraction in English has to do with verbs and directions, as though everything moves and interacts in very precise ways, when really only the language does.
Maybe because, originally, you carried (took) the water for your bath/shower with you in a wash basin? So if you forgot to take your shower water, you couldn't take your shower until you got more water.
But.....who TOOK them... to GIVE them to you....so that you HAD them?......
Effortful English
It’s Confusing, Isn’t It?
Nooo. I say It is what it is all the time. This one messed with me worse than all the others combined.
Hey! Online shorteners and contraction-obseesed US Southerners, why haven't you found this one yet?!
As a general rule of thumb is only use "it's" if there is a clear subject, and "it is" if there is not. "It's what it is" works because separating the is from the second it makes that it the subject, justifying the "It's" at the beginning, "It's what it's" is not idiomatic english
Are Jokes Based on Plays on Words Mostly an English Language Thing?
Although there are many English language fails in this list, it also lends itself to many clever puns. But English isn’t the only language with double entendres or witticisms. Wordplay is quite common in oral cultures, whereas text-based (orthographic) puns are found in languages with or without alphabet-based scripts, such as Mandarin Chinese. In fact, in Sweden, the city of Gothenburg is well-known for its puns.
English is frustrating and often weird, but it lends itself to beautiful wordplay and sentences that just roll off the tongue. Still, we must laugh at its crazy grammar, which can’t be replicated in any other language. Let us know in the comments if you’ve encountered any funny English fails or double meanings. We’d sure love to get a laugh out of it!
Darth Vader's "be careful not to choke on your aspirations" is a double pun if you look up the meanings
Aspirator is a type of mask in English But it's what french people (or at least canadian-french people) call a vacuum cleaner.
Load More Replies...Who came up with making the "colo" in colonel pronounce like "ker"? What the heck?
The French. "Colonel" is a French word, with the pronunciation bastardized into English. Here's a source: http://teachinghistory.org/history-content/ask-a-historian/22270
Load More Replies...#19 has an error. 'soviet union' doesn't equate to 'union union'. soviet is from the verb sovietovat which means 'to advise'
I'm kind of grateful for great posts like these. ^_- I expect Spanish or Chinese to be next.
Can English users kindly learn ANY foreign language before trying to point out what makes English special? Because it's kind of hard if you have no comparison...
Why not an article "10+ Hilarious Reasons English is the Best Language"? Not ideologically self-depricating enough for you?
Darth Vader's "be careful not to choke on your aspirations" is a double pun if you look up the meanings
Aspirator is a type of mask in English But it's what french people (or at least canadian-french people) call a vacuum cleaner.
Load More Replies...Who came up with making the "colo" in colonel pronounce like "ker"? What the heck?
The French. "Colonel" is a French word, with the pronunciation bastardized into English. Here's a source: http://teachinghistory.org/history-content/ask-a-historian/22270
Load More Replies...#19 has an error. 'soviet union' doesn't equate to 'union union'. soviet is from the verb sovietovat which means 'to advise'
I'm kind of grateful for great posts like these. ^_- I expect Spanish or Chinese to be next.
Can English users kindly learn ANY foreign language before trying to point out what makes English special? Because it's kind of hard if you have no comparison...
Why not an article "10+ Hilarious Reasons English is the Best Language"? Not ideologically self-depricating enough for you?
