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The English language is a mystery to all of us, whether you’ve been speaking it since day one or just started learning it. From its bizarre spelling rules to its free-for-all grammar, it’s a daily struggle just trying to form sentences that make sense. No wonder people are turning to emojis to express their thoughts rather than coping with weird grammar rules that lead to some of the funniest English language jokes.

Unless you live in the Tibetan mountains or belong to an Amazonian tribe, you’ve definitely come across weird English words in use. It’s the most widely-studied language globally, linking countries and continents. Because of the rise of American power and influence, English has spread like wildfire across the globe through movies, music, and literature. That doesn't mean it’s a walk in the park.

Take a look at some of the most frustrating moments with this language, which will make you realize why English is so hard to learn. You don't have to look long for funny English language jokes, as they’re all there in our everyday vocabulary. Don’t forget to check out our similar posts about French and German language jokes; they might be even better than these jokes about the English language.

#1

The Many Meanings Of 'Only'

English language joke highlighting the word "only" in a sentence, illustrating humorous language nuances.

shadowwraiths Report

Intensive Panda
Community Member
8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

and it makes a whole different sentence every time

Hannah Hahn
Community Member
8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And they mean mostly the same thing, except for "She told him that only she loved him."

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Aegea
Community Member
8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You can also emphasize every word in the sentence 'I din't say she stole my purse.' and each words you emphasize will change the meaning of the sentence.

Lucia Diaconu
Community Member
8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Only she only told only him only that only she only loved only him only. Sounds like a song to me. :)

Michael McQuown
Community Member
8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you've ever seen the series, "The Adventure of English," you know that it is not a single discrete language, but a ragbag collection of Saxon, German, Danish, Celtic, Gaelic, Latin and loan words from other languages as well. As for the grammar --!

Thom Burns
Community Member
8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"On" the sentence? You must be from Canada, where they put gas "on" (opposed to "in") the car.

Master Markus
Community Member
8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wot? I'm Canadian. You put gas IN the car, because that's how cars work. The mechanism is inside. I think this was just an issue of a spelling error.

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Karen Drucks
Community Member
8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, it's all about inflection....and stresses

Andrew Muñoz
Community Member
8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I placed it between the "S" and the "h" in the word "She". Nothing interesting happened.

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    #2

    Weird English Language Tongue Twister

    English language joke about understanding through tough thorough thought, though.

    iowahawkblog Report

    Yvonne Bernal
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They should have said “I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit. Upon the slitted sheet I sit"

    Belle White
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As I say, " I slit a sheet, a sheet I shlit. Upon the shlitted sheet I s**t"

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    Hans
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This reminds me of Ghoti. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghoti)

    Firestar97
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I speak english and I don't understand

    Shiba Inu
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, s**t, i just sat on a sitting dog's s******g tail!

    Linda Teuling-Stuteville
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If English is weird, we have a lot of company. Why, in Spanos5, is a pen feminine and a pencil maculine? Whyvis my neck masculine and my hand feminine -and why does my feminine hand have five masculine fingers? I wonder if there is a language on the face of this Earth that really follows logic

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There are many, many, MANY languages which have this problem. Is quite common. Nowadays, when everyone is offended by pronouns, I wanna see how they plan to fix these languages!

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    Adam Lamb
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i before e except after c unless the word is weird.

    Michelle Drinkmann
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm dyslexic and literally can't read this sentence

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    #3

    The Order Of Adjectives

    English language joke highlights native speakers' instinctive knowledge of adjective order.

    mattandersonbbc Report

    Hans
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never thought about it. Awesomely old straight vivid logic.

    Ryan Parker
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unless "Great dragon" is the proper noun....

    Marayna Grundy
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Actually there are great green dragons, and there are green great dragons. they are two different things see because the first is just great and green while being a dragon, but the second is a great dragon which is green meaning it's better than the first.

    Mieke Sorée
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wouldn't that make it an environmental friendly Great Dragon?

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    Franziska G.
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ...crazy little thing called love... *sing* ...makes indeed more sense than other way round

    An Cassiopeia
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, I am studying english at school and I was taught that adj in english have to be this order, OSACOMP : ) I am really surprised when I know that even native english speakers don't know this.

    Diana Ofer
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had never even realized that.

    Pavel “Skoll” Suk
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is terrible. Especially if your native language is some Slavic one. We have no fixed word order. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Czech_word_order

    Barbara White
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow....I read that whole thing....how do babies learn it from infancy? 😮

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    Bekah Glaz
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Actually, it depends - you absolutely can have 'green Great Dragons' - you are using a proper noun though.

    Kevser TJurkovic
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People like myself who has english as their second language usually learn this order :)

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    #4

    It’s Just English Man, It’s Just English

    Meme comparing English and French pronunciation to Italian and Spanish, highlighting English language quirks.

    Cr1sOnTop Report

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    #5

    English Language Pronunciation

    English language joke questioning the pronunciation inconsistency of "womb," "tomb," and "b**b."

    just-shower-thoughts Report

    Hans
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At least it will make "boom" if you are not careful.

    Kelly
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    True . When a bomb speaks it does say boom.

    Edwin Lesperance
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Actually, "boom" is a poor description. Explosions roar greater than thunder.

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    Rachael Pollard
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Then while you're at it, pray. Explain the "comb"..

    Julia NotMyLastname
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Welcome to English. Take a seat, some popcorn, and your packet of complimentary advil for the headache you are about to get.

    Samantha
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Welcome to the English language...where nothing rhymes with orange.

    Kat Blak
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No because it only says boom

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    #6

    The Odd One Out

    Pineapple with a list of languages showing the word as "ananas," highlighting a joke about the English language.

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    Carlota Ocón
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In spanish we don't say ananas, we say piña

    Dany Vigil
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, Spanish is a very diverse language, from region to region the names of things may change. In South America it is called Ananá. And the pineapple is originally from South America. It is called Piña (Pine Cone) in other regions because it looks like a Pine Cone. I guess in english it is the same (Pine + Apple).

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    Vincent Tiggelman
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dad used to call it 'the-fruit-that-shall-not-be-named', because he hated them so much. This was years before the Harry Potter books and i still think of pineapples when i read about Voldemort.

    Carlos G. Pereira
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In Portuguese of Portugal we have both Ananás and Abacaxi , 2 diferent fruits with deferent tastes Ananas is most common in Portugal.

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    Chris Gen
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Afrikaans: pynappel (translation: hurt apple:))

    Hans
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    However, this can become very embarassing. In many of these languages, it is also pronounches in a non-english way, i.e. ah-nah-nas with an a as in "harm". Now imagine a fellow guy from your country speaking english and telling you: "Yes, they had this awesome ananasses..." with an a pronounched as in "hand" (with the US pronounciation). Ouch...

    Bored Potato
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Giggles in Chinese (菠萝/bo luo)

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    #7

    Same Word, Opposite Meaning

    English language joke about "chuffed" showing contradictory definitions.

    languagelinguistics Report

    Hans
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, isn't this the case with many words? Like terrific, or also awful. an aweful beach, to my understanding is one that you do not want to visit, while you definitely want to hand out on an awefully great beach. An if you hear of a terrific beach, you better ask twice. Any native speakers here to explain? Even though I am afraid this might even be different in AE and BE.

    Joan Huffman
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In AE terrific is mostly a positive, while awful is mostly negative. Most people are not even aware of that they are contronyms. Awfully is used to mean very, and awesome is good. Most people don't even notice the split nature of these words. Terror-bad, terrific-good, terrible-bad, terribly-very. As most Americans don't learn a second language, one hardly ever reads a dictionary.

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    Lance d'Boyle
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Flammable and inflammable. I think these words originally were opposites but due to general stupidity and illiteracy they got conflated. We should keep a watch on literally and figuratively because they seem on the way to merging.

    Amy Tarleton
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nooooo!!!! I hate when people use literally to mean figuratively! It's just wrong.

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    SylvaCrow
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It seems like this has recently happened to the word 'literally'.

    Notchimine Mette
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have never known "peruse" to mean anything other than "read very carefully".

    criminalgirl
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not me, "peruse" means to read in a leisurely manner.

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    Long Joan Silver
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This one is by far, my favourite. I laughed the entire time I read this. Thank you for the morning laugh and for taking my mind off crappy stress!

    Lauren Mitchell
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "All of you go to hell" and "...we're such sarcastic shits it literally changed our language." 😂😂😂 amazing!

    Lesbian thespian
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    stuff like incredible and amazing might not necessarily be good...

    Steve Halpern
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Similar is "sanction" Means opposites.

    Martha Donaldson
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Like ADMIT: to let out (confess) and let IN!

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    #8

    Same Sentence, Different Meanings

    English language joke about sentence meaning changing with stressed words.

    thessalian Report

    Vanessa
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    kinda happen with all languages?

    Hans
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you now add punctuation, things will get worse. What was about this "Let's eat, Dad.", "Let's eat Dad." example?

    --
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    same as 'helping your Uncle Jack off a horse' and 'helping your uncle jack off a horse'

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    Lauren Caswell
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And that is why txting can be a minefield. Without voice tone and stress on certain words, any text message can be interpreted in all sorts of ways

    Cassidy Simpson
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    These pretzels are making me thirsty!

    Lou Hart
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hence the reason why many a text message exchange has ended friendships

    Emre
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hahahahaaa hilarious. :D

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    #9

    The Meaning Of Goodbye

    Humorous explanation of "goodbye" origin, showcasing the quirks of the English language.

    ikimaru Report

    Hans
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We happy that they did not use emoticon precursors.

    Gemma Ereza Ferrie
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In spanish, to say goodbye, you say " Adios" (A Dios) meaning "To God"

    Jung Fong
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A friend learning English as his third language noted that English has "super words" and the most super is the word UP. "This is a hold-up." "That's up to you" "What's up" and his favorite: "You chop a tree down then you chop it up." How and why would you ever chop a tree UP?" he asked.

    Susan Burris
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In 200 years everyone will write ur as proper English

    Christian Trout
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Except that "ye" was not pronounced that way - it was pronounced as "the." This is 100% wrong.

    Priscillia Z
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nah, that's only "ye" as in "Ye Olde Shoppe", which is indeed pronounced as "the". "Ye" as a pronoun (plural of "you"), however, was pronounced as it was spelled ([jiː] in IPA notation). The Oxford English Dictionary (requires a subscription -- check if your school has one) and the Online Etymology Dictionary show that this is indeed true. A quick Google search ("goodbye etymology") works just as well. http://www.oed.com/view/Entry/79929?redirectedFrom=goodbye#eid http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=good-bye https://www.google.com/search?q=goodbye+etymology

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    Eva Camera
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    WHERE'S THE NEAREST HOSE my brain is on fire

    Karri Neves
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Much of the English language comes down to how it was written down by some guy a long time ago. Thus words and spellings that don't makes sense would make sense if we used the word as it was originally spoken, rather than how it has been transformed over time.

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    #10

    Words That Don't Rhyme

    English language joke about rhyme inconsistencies with words like "cough" and "pony."

    gracieness Report

    Yvonne Bernal
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sometimes we spell it "baloney" - And baloney and money don't rhyme either (sigh)

    Daniel Fleming
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    baloney is from the expression "full of baloney" bologna means the food.

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    Rachel Bibby
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't worry, they don't. Unless you're American.

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    Steve Baker
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why do "Cow" and "Bough" rhyme with each other but "Cough" does not?

    ian nicholls
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    they don't rhyme in british english, that word is 'bol-on-yah'

    Zachary Simonsen
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How when its spelled bologna how is it pronounced that

    Jude Samson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you pronounce bologna correctly it doesn’t rhyme.

    Bryan Money
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    bologna isn't an English word.

    Carlton Schaps
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Probably from two different route languages

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    #11

    English Is Weird With Its Silent Letters

    English language joke highlighting the unique pronunciation of the word "queue" as just "Q".

    laslanguesromanze Report

    Claudia Machado
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Queue is a queue where Q is the first and the others are waiting in queue for their chance to appear.

    Pronoy De
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ... but no one else had any clue that it's their cue after Q

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    Agnes Kim
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's because this is French. The letter "Q" on its own is pronounced differently. And then as a consonant, to my knowledge, it never appears on its own in French, but is instead always accompanied by the letter "u". Then we have he compound vowel "eu", somewhere between the French "e" and "u", hence the spelling. The mute "e" at the end is to signify that for some reason this word, which can mean "tail", or "long handle", or "line" or alternatively, designate a component of the male sexual organs, is feminine in gender. Just for fun, the word in context in some French idioms: "Faire la queue" - Wait in line "A la queue leu leu" - In a single file (such as cars behind a slow vehicle, or ducklings behind their mom) "Prendre un homme par la queue" - Manipulate a man in the cheapest way possible (figuratively speaking) Still glad I am a French native speaker who had to learn English and not the other way around.

    Kris Tine
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I guess you have no clue about French...

    Jannice Morgan
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Then there's you, where we only pronounce the last letter

    Dave Hanson
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We can thank the French for "quieue" :D

    Александър Шопов
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Still better than French - write Eau. Don't pronounce any of the letters, but instead pronounce a different one.

    William Kim
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    La Queue (french) Qu : always together, pronounce as K Eu : [œ] sounds, it is represented in English as Yoo sounds, such as Europe. But its [open Ö] to be precise. E : in french words, it is not the fact but many case they have E in the end. It syombolise it is feminine word. '-A' is similar way in spanish. For example, Le Francais (masculin), La Francaise (feminin).

    Florent Bogdel
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Queue isn't an english word at the beginning. That's probably why :)

    Pobin Rice
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    .....fools you totally missed 'cue'

    Monica Alderson
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you only pronounced the first letter, it would sound like a K. Q needs other vowels following it to make a KW sound.

    Alexa Tu
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When you say the alphabet aloud, like in the song the letter Q is said like cue or queue, thus why they said it that way.

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    #12

    Know Your A’s

    English language joke about the different pronunciations of "A" in Australia.

    dismal-dragon Report

    Evelim C
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just as the word "eleven". Someone please tell Americans to choose one sound? Brasilians have to many words but at least we know how to pronnounce them. .-.

    Karri Neves
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All the e's in eleven make the same sound when pronounced properly in English.

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    Master Markus
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, the first one is paired with an "u", so of course it's going to change, the second one is a long "a" which is common when the word ends in a vowel and the last one is just a short "a".

    Tiny Dynamine
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Strange though that the 'au' is pronounced 'o' (in Britain). The second one is actually a diphthong /ei/ and the last one is called a 'schwa' (short sound, not just and 'a').

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    Kelly
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Must just be me pronoucing incorrectly but first and last A sound the same

    U r lovely and beautiful 🫶️‍
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah-stray-lee-ah. It’s only two? But don’t some people say or-stray-lee-ah? I say ah-stray-lee-ah

    Derek McNeil
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's why you can trust Canada.

    Matthew Norton
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pacific Ocean's c's are pronounced differently (s, k, and sh)

    missnoe'lmags
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    also, The word "Antartica" is like this too

    Novica Djurdjevic
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's the most easiest thing to pronounce letters/words in Serbian language (although Serbian alphabet has 30 letters) because every letter is always pronounced the same - no matter where in word the letter is: first, middle or end. For example, first "A" in: America and Amy has 3 different sounds - in Serbian A is always as first A in America. Plus the fact that in Serbian there's no letters q, x, y and w. Learning how to speak is piece of cake but grammar, oh boy. It is my native language and yes, you guessed it right, every now and then that charming grammar pops up with some "sweet" surprise. Greetings from Serbia - Pozdrav iz Srbije. :)

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    #13

    Correct Grammar vs Kinky Pirate

    English language grammar joke about punctuation and tone differences in phrases.

    englishmajorhumor Report

    Yvonne Bernal
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I read that with a pirate accent - Did you? lol

    Lauren Caswell
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's a book called 'eats, shoots and leaves' written after the author read info on pandas that had that exact phrase 'the panda eats, shoots and leaves' thanks to one little comma, it sounds like that panda shot up a restaurant

    Alice Cohen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought the panda ate, took a s**t, and left. Am I okay? 😂

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    Panpan
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let's eat folks! Vs: Let's eat, folks! Grammar saves lives.

    Ashley Galyen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I built me a snowman" used to be correct. Now we say "I built a snowman for myself"

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    #14

    Why Don’t They Sound Like They’re Spelt?

    Man reacting humorously to an English language joke about confusing pronunciations.

    libbylumos Report

    Daria B
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also: read (rid) → present tense; read (red) → past tense.

    Zack Oswalt
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Caught, bought, thought, sought, taught, brought, and fought come from catch, buy, think, seek, teach, bring, and fight; and they rhyme with pot, taut, and yacht

    Hans
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, sometimes one has to wonder that if we got for a lingua franca, why we not take something with less irregularities. Although I am afraid that most "grown" languages are full of irregularities (even though most probably not as bably as German – where at least the spelling typically is easy).

    Jude Samson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Comedian Gallagher did a whole skit on this and similar words

    Pobin Rice
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Again.....depth people, depth

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    #15

    Backward Pairs

    English language joke featuring humorous backward pairs of well-known phrases and names.

    castiel-knight-of-hell Report

    Neurotic_Octopus
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This makes my brain hurt, but for some reason I love it

    Hans
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am wondering if there can be rules found for this. Sometimes it obviously is the ending of the one word that harmonizes with the beginning of the other (or respectively not) in the flow of speaking, but in some cases...well, tradition I guess.

    Lilya
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is, I was actually listening to something like this on the radio (NPR, marketplace)

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    Punkie Pie
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No. You stop that!!! Stop that right now! It's blasphemy, you hear me? It's 'Sam and Dean'

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    Panpan
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm feeling needles and pins in my legs and arms.

    Nandy Dickman
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I read this all the way to Juliet and Romeo before I worked out what was wrong with these.

    Ali Legatz
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    None of these are technically wrong, we just don't like it as native english speakers because of the placement of the tongue when speaking.

    Carolina
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not even a native speaker and I still don't like it...

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    Stephen Brasel
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The Philosopher's Stone and Harry Potter The Chamber of Secrets and Harry Potter The Prisoner of Azkaban and Harry Potter The Goblet of Fire and Harry Potter The Order of the Phoenix and Harry Potter The Half-Blood Prince and Harry Potter The Deathly Hallows and Harry Potter My fingers are bleeding.

    Ava Lechner
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Beast and the Beauty, sweat tears and blood, wales scotland ireland and england

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    #16

    English Essay

    English language joke about using informal phrases in essays, highlighting humorous grammar advice.

    mckillington Report

    Olivia W
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thou shalt s**t you not

    Don Simon
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pissant and asshat but never pisshat or a*s-ant

    Don Simon
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also assant would sound like a mispronunciation of assent (and sound like Julian ASSANGE) but a*s-ant, though never used, would require a hyphen.

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    Grigour Sturtz
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I believe the last should be, "One would not be considered shat."

    Allan Johnston
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Passive structure is best--You are not being shitted

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    #17

    English Is a Funny Language

    Text post about confusing English pronunciations with humor, highlighting tear and tier, reflecting language complexities.

    andymientears Report

    Hans
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, if you still are interested in that, just find a German class nearby. The good thing is, the more weird languages you learn, you more you appreciate if you come across languages that lack the irregularities where you expected them from experience.

    Ivan Petrov
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Try learning Japanese - not only words can have double meanings, they have 2 alphabets. One is hard difficulty (hiragana) and the other insane difficulty (katakana).

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    Georgi Pavlov
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    English is the easiest langueage to learn ...

    Charlotte Houle
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm actually doing pretty good, but I bet you'd struggle to learn French

    Jude Samson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Comedian Gallagher already did all this with words in his skit.

    Sophia Cai
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Meh. My first language is Chinese. I’m fine.

    Phoebe Trevor-Roper
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    u know its weird that you can not put can not in a sentence.. this hurts my terribly english eyes...

    Sussekb
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can assure you that danish is a much harder language to learn. And I'm just happy to have learned that first then!

    nejs
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    try learning Slovenian and then talk about difficult language...

    nejs
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    english is so easy it makes me laugh...try learning Slovenian and compare which is harder :)

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    #18

    Practice Your Pronunciation

    Text highlighting English language joke on pronunciation challenges.

    crimsun Report

    ADHORTATOR
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ok, I' ll take this one to english class next week

    Nick Gisburne
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How many people like me started reading this aloud, then scrolled down, realised how long it was, and gave up?!

    Uni Jennersjö
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think I got most of it right but ultimately I'm not sure...

    Pandykinz
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That was fun!!! I've always loved poems like this, reminds me of dr. Seuss

    Gemala Hapsari
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this is a good idea to use in a job interview when someone says he/she speaks English very well. I might rehearse my interview using these text 😁😁😄😄

    Cindy Kruth
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Whew!!! Fina-frickingly did it!

    Harriet Capes
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is all correct but Sooo badly written; what with awful poetry randomly mixed with just a list of words lined up to rhyme at the end of the line with the line before...except when it doesn't....ughhh....to an educated native Londoner this piece of writing is clumsy, ugly and not clever. It is an absolute travesty to present to people seriously trying to learn English. He should have given up after the first line. It has merit as a list of confusing pronunciation combinations which can be looked up and compared - but to try and half present it as poetry just makes my English eyes bleed. Please don't give yourself a headache even looking at it!

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    #19

    A Flawed Language

    English language joke highlighting the confusion of using "that that" in a sentence.

    night-fury-pamphlets Report

    Hans
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nightmare for copy editors.

    Daria B
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And for programmers teaching human language to computers.

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    Anthony Walton
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    On her English test, Jane, where John had had 'had', had had 'had had'. 'Had had' had had better standing with their teacher.

    Jess Marony
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The teacher noted that that "that that" that that boy wrote was correct. :)

    Ryan Berry
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    oh god. english is my first language and this triggers me so bad

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    onivdsrapowijap
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All the faith that I had had had had no effect on this sentence.

    Sophia Cai
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buffalo_buffalo_Buffalo_buffalo_buffalo_buffalo_Buffalo_buffalo

    Holly Hofmann
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I refuse to use "that that" in a written sentence. I will find a way to re-word it every time.

    Aaron Loy
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always question my command of english whenever I have to use 'that that'

    Zachary Simonsen
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAHAA

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    #20

    The Mind Cannot Compute

    Text post with a joke highlighting confusing English spelling and meanings, showcasing why English language can be difficult.

    egberts Report

    Gemma Ereza Ferrie
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is why it's so important to get kids reading books. I read each of these sentences fine, without confusion through context. Close reading is key to communication and the English language.

    Apa Apa
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To be fair, the point is that the words are spelled the same but pronounced defferently, so this is something you learn by talking and listening to English rather than reading.

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    Julia NotMyLastname
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tears are falling out of my eyes and I am tearing my paper

    Zachary Simonsen
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He was forced to Desert his dessert in the desert.

    Kraneia The Dancing Dryad
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Again, context. Pain in the a**e but once you figure it out it isn't too bad.

    Sebas Schwam
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Only english had spelling competition.

    Jude Samson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is why it’s not really the minute (pronounced as the time measure) Waltz, but minute pronounced min-U-ette to mean “small” but has been bastardized over the years to be pronounced like the time measure.

    Thomas Bowler
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can rid as much as yu want........sound shuld match ortografi with cliar fonetic rules

    criminalgirl
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    All of these examples can be written or spoken using an alternative word so you are not "repeating" as you see it. This is what language is about, expanding your vocabulary, not reducing it. If a sentence makes you think about a replacement word ...that's a good thing. It makes you a better communicator. Language skills are vital, no matter what, we will all be still talking in thousands of years time...I hope!

    Cat Meow
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You seem to be missing the point of this post.

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    #21

    House-Spouse

    English language joke about "house-wife", "house-husband", and "house-spouse" highlighting its peculiarities.

    pilgrimkitty Report

    Paweł Pawlicki
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If English beats up other languages in dark alleys, Polish must be Batman or some f-ing ninja. arOAPm6_70...c7e2b1.jpg arOAPm6_700b-58a30e0c7e2b1.jpg

    Panpan
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I keep thinking that the plural form of spouse is spice.

    Paweł Pawlicki
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If English beats up other languages in dark alleys, Polish must be Batman or f-ing ninja. arOAPm6_70...3b265c.jpg arOAPm6_700b-58a30d33b265c.jpg

    Bruce Ferrier
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    Bruce Ferrier
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think the reason that there's nobody who rhymes is because we're terrified of becoming rappers

    Angelle Webb
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    English actually is a mix of lots of languages, it's purpose was so that different countries could trade with understanding each other.

    Lylah Mcfadden
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    oooohhh that last is dark but acurate ig

    Lightning_Thief
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I spit all over my screen at “Spooze” hahaha

    Jude Samson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Interestingly, rifle and riffle are two similar words often used incorrectly.

    Robert Morson
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It would be kind of unfortunate if spouse rhymed with spooge.

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    #22

    Tea Tea, Bread Bread, And Many More

    English language joke about chai tea and naan bread highlighting redundancy.

    madlori Report

    Hans
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same with many, many abbreviations. In many, many other languags. Alas.

    ADHORTATOR
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Soviet Union is not correct, Sojus meens Union...

    Sick Boy
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Soviet" means "council", other than that - great!

    Vicki Louise
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Whoever wrote shakira shakira is a f*****g genius! Hahaha

    Elissa Gooden
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    pizza pie (pie pie) ATM machine (automatic teller machine machine) PIN number (personal identification number number)

    Panpan
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Master Shifu (master master)

    Amanda H.
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why is Shakira in that list?

    rai mei
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    because hips don't lie ┌( ಠ‿ಠ)┘

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    Kat Blak
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Shakira...is nothing but shakira

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    #23

    Brussel Sprouts

    English language joke about mistaking brussel sprouts for a celebrity and confusion over why people dislike them.

    coremander Report

    Harriet Capes
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's so funny, what a laugh! As for the person putting you down for never looking it up 'all your life'...don't listen; I am a 63 year old native Londoner and until about 5 years ago I always wondered why Duck Tape was called Duck Tape....then I finally realized it was Duct Tape!!!!.....yes I am an idiot and my children still tease me about it but it's easily done. There are just so many words in every language and even though I love dictionaries and words in general I had just never followed this weird 'Duck' up!!....it's good to be able to laugh at yourself and give others a laugh at your expense; it shows someone comfortable with themselves - as compared to someone who seems to need to try and throw ridicule....come on man...it was FUNNY :)

    Carly Noelle
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think there's actually a brand of duct tape called duck take, so . . . That makes sense.

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    WaffleWarrior
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Am I the only one that laughed thinking about a celebrity named brussel sprouts? 😂😂😂

    Master Markus
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel like you'd look that up. I'd get it if you were still a child, but "all [your] life"?

    Inservio Letum
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had the same problem when learning english. Who the hell lives in Gunpoint and why doesn't everyone just move AWAY from that awful place??

    Collin Cantrell
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Brussel Sprouts is the not so famous brother of Dylan and Cole Sprouse.

    Pat Megyesi
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG!! It's Brussels sprouts... YES capitalized and with an s

    Tiger Lily
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's actually Brussels sprouts. "The Brussels sprout has long been popular in Brussels, Belgium, and may have originated and gained its name there"

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    #24

    Sounds Weird

    Joke about English pronunciation: "new direction" sounding like "n**e erection."

    therainbowcadaver Report

    Crystal Pruitt
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Like the word happiness. Ha-penis. Thank you Peggy Hill.

    João Ferreira
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Peggy Hill was surely quoting General De Gaulle's wife. http://www.snopes.com/quotes/degaulle.asp

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    Jim
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And you can't have slaughter without the laughter.

    Shane Eva
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This just ruined Glee for me

    Stephan Welch
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or how Chris Pratt sounds like crisp rat.

    💖 Stacy Rae 💖
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's like 'wore cologne' and 'walk alone'

    Myra Groenewegen
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You mean "Work alone"? That sounds more similar to me.

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    --
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    not really, but kind of

    Lindy Mac
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I laughed so hard I started choking.... but it was worth it.... poor rainbowcadaver...their mom is quite a character! And then thinking about a rainbow's cadaver made me sad again.

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    #25

    The Oxford Comma

    English language joke illustrating the difference using the Oxford comma with images of eggs, toast, and orange juice.

    shortee Report

    Yvonne Bernal
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Drink milk and solve the whole problem!

    Sasha Brenner
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always used it until my 7th grade teacher kept docking points because I was "comma happy".

    Mats Lindgren
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If they want me to stop using the Oxford Comma, they'll have to pry it out of my cold, stiff, and dead hands.

    Lars Haraldsen
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This book is dedicated to my parents, Ayn Rand and God.

    Catherine Gillespie
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My favourite justification for the Oxford comma: "To my parents, Ayn Rand and God."

    Victoria Pietsch
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always use the Oxford Comma, unless my last two items in my list correlate closely (say, if I were listing off my classes, and two of them were English classes, then I might not use it, though I generally will). I feel like commas help to provide helpful hints to the way one would speak about things. If you were listing off your classes, you do not generally speed up and cram the last two together, therefore, the Oxford Comma seems essential to me.

    Michelle Winegarner
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    eats, shoots, and leaves vs eats, shoots and leaves ?

    Joseph Pensak
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm with you. VIVA LA OXFORD COMMA!

    Daria B
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What if you say "I had eggs and toast with orange juice"?

    Parker Granger
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's irrelevant because there is no place to put a comma at all

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    Zachary Simonsen
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't worry! all of us sometimes put orange juice on our toast by accident. Maybe not by accident, if so then you should be concerned.

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    #26

    English Triple Contractions

    English language joke about triple contractions: I'dn't've, it'dn't've, y'all'd've, you'dn't've.

    burnttoastmaster Report

    Lucie Molnarova
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm learning english as my third language and this just messed me up so bad

    Olivia W
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    English is my first language and it still messed me up

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    Hans
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Every time I see a "drive thru" I wonder why people are so lazy. And "Medi nite" and "rite aid" just feels so wrong.

    Rose Kulich
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'dnt'ave responded if it'dnt'ave truth to it. I know some of y'all'd've done the same.

    criminalgirl
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't worry folks, this isn't English. Americanisms...I rest my case.

    Da Dragon Queen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m mad that this made sense to me on the first try😡

    BobSponge444
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've heard Southern people say y'all'd've. The other ones I know aren't said by anyone.

    Rebekah Paul
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'dn't've = I had (I'd) not (n't) have ('ve) It'dn't've = It had (It'd) not (n't) have ('ve) Y'all'd've = You all (y'all) had ('d) have ('ve) You'dn't've = You had (you'd) not (n't) have ('ve)

    Carly Noelle
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The 'd might also be "would" I think some of them make more sense that way.

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    Lylah Mcfadden
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    as a southerner i regualry say yalldve

    Ivan Petrov
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    English language saw what the Irish language was doing, and wanted to try the same - I guess it wasn't popular.

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    #27

    English Language Meme About Rules

    Text exchange humorously highlighting confusing English language rules.

    archaeaeon-blog Report

    Frank Wang
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's a book written like that named "Anguish Languish"

    Panpan
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Watt is happening too are rules. Their two wierd and there slowly going a way.

    Victoria Pietsch
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have communicated via this strange language with my friends before. I can assure you, it is nearly impossible to pull off..... Aye aff komunikaded veea thes storanj lengaj wit mie frends bfur. Aye kin usher ewe, et es neerlee emposble tu pl uff.

    Suzanne Haigh
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Rules to Learning English:- Ignore the American English

    Suzanne Haigh
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If English is spoke correctly then these just do not make sense, again corrupted English

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    #28

    The Correct Way To Spell Potato

    English language joke about spelling "potato" humorously showcases spelling complexity.

    PixieDustAuthor Report

    Trevin Blount!
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Who spells it hiccough?! My phone wanted to autocorrect to hiccup

    Lucie Molnarova
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Imagine having to write 'potato' in a spelling test and you had 5 seconds to write that hideous thing

    Panpan
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So, according to this stuff, I guess fish can be spelled ghoti.

    SylvaCrow
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Here's another one: ghoti = fish Gh is pronounced f as in enough O is pronounced i as in women Ti is pronounced sh as in nation

    Megan Seivers
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is how parents are spelling out kids names now

    Kiki
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Germans would be jealous.

    Sarah Stenson
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What?! "Hiccough" is pronounced "hiccup"?! And for years I thought some people called them "hic-koffs"!!

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    #29

    Alternating Stress Patterns

    English language joke about alternating stress patterns in words, highlighting subtle differences and humor.

    kvotheunkvothe Report

    Paweł Pawlicki
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Push the record button to record.

    Zoe Kwan
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the button is the noun, not the 'record'; if you were to say "please record that for the record" then it would follow the stresses

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    Zachary Simonsen
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My contract mad me contract a disease, now im contracting in my blankets

    Zack Oswalt
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also, voiced consonants denote verbs- live a life, give a gift, halve something in half, use something with a use, grieve with grief, lose or have a loss, so on

    Benjamin Press
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I literally never noticed this before. Mind = blown.

    zeitmeister
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Present the present. But also picture the picture, lasso the lasso, divine the divine.

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    #30

    Is English the Easiest Language to Learn? Doubt

    Mug with humorous English language joke about common grammar mistakes like "your" and "you're."

    Report

    Intensive Panda
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    always wondering why even native speakers don't know the difference. Also: if you're unsure about "affect" or "effect" just use "impact" :D

    Daria B
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "EVEN native speakers"? No offense to native speakers, but I've got the feeling non-native speakers know better. Because while learning, we make sure we distinguish these things. Not even needed to do such a list, actually, because of the way we're taught these things. It becomes too logical to confuse it.

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    Master Markus
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People who say or write "could of" drive me up the f*****g wall.

    Daria B
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Add "than" and "then" to the list. Also -"-s", "-'s" and "-s'" after nouns. And let's make it clear when you use "a" and "an".

    BobSponge444
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Whoever made "its" not have a comma is a f*****g idiot.

    Sabina Ismailova
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think, only native speakers make this mistake. English is my third language, and I always wonder when americans do this. And they do this all the time too...

    Carl Sperber
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    umm, did you get this from Roy Kent by chance?

    Suzanne Haigh
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Obviously not written by an Englishperson

    Cameron J.
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Affect, is a verb, Effect, which is a noun.

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    #31

    Traditional vs Simplified

    English language humor: UK flagged as "Traditional," US flagged as "Simplified," caption mocks 1776 revolution.

    sahondwich-shahop Report

    Thor Sten
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, linguistically speaking: AE is an older form of English that had less influence from neighboring languages.

    Ron Ke
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thor Sten is correct. From post 31: During the 17th century, English emigration to the North American colonies was at its peak, and the new settlers took the English language with them.... American English is like England's own personal linguistic time capsule. Our accent and many of the words we use tend to be what was common in English 300 years ago.

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    Arild Børsheim
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Post 31 sums this up perfectly, autumn vs fall 😂😂😂

    Marci T
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, thanks to Noah Webster, American spelling is simplified. This isn't a judgement, it's a fact. In the case of language, simplification is good because it makes both printing and reading easier.

    Rebe
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But it does make it difficult to also claim that it's the older form. Interestingly differences like son (rather than sun) were introduced for the same reason. In handwritten texts sun when joined up was not very clear so it was changed to son male child to avoid confusion in legal texts such as wills. On the other side of that some of the extra (silent letters got added because copyists got paid by the inch.

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    Kraneia The Dancing Dryad
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd hardly call American English simplified. Ba$tardized maybe 😆

    Suzanne Haigh
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    simplified? As an English person to me it sounds more like corrupted !

    Emma Edwards
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    could add English with the Australian flag with (f****d up) after it

    Nick Gisburne
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I may put this option in the next software I develop :D

    Sick Boy
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you asked the Yanks, "there" pride wouldn't be hurt by this.

    Christie Coleman
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a "Yank" i'm not hurt by this. I am , however, more or less embarrassed at how the world sees us.

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    Tiny Dynamine
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is the truest thing in the world!

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    #32

    Autumn vs Fall

    English language joke comparing autumn vs fall with humorous explanation.

    transcendantalismsm Report

    Yvonne Bernal
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know it works GREAT with "spring ahead and fall back" - in reference to Daylight savings time reminders as to which way to set the clocks (forward or backward)

    Frank Wang
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The "citation needed" makes me think this was copied and pasted off of wikipedia

    BobSponge444
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bruh both Americans and British call it both Autumn and Fall. It's not a regional thing at all.

    Master Markus
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People in America also say "autumn". I mean, I'm in Canada and WE do both. Also, the origin of the word and how the English did it before the Americans reminds me of "soccer" and how it annoys me when some Brits get all high and mighty about it being called "football" - "Soccer" is short for "association football" and the Americans only do it because the British called it that to distinguish it from other ball games played with the feet! However, American Football being called "football" IS b******t since most of the game isn't played with your feet - it's more like soft-core rugby.

    Suzanne Haigh
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would like some evidence to back this up, it seems an American invention aiming to prove the Americans are more English than the English. It was not only the English that immigrated from Britain, so work that one out?

    Petr Melechin
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In Czech, the word for November is "listopad" which literally means "leaffall". :) Actually, all of our months have weird poetic names for some reason. Yet, the Slovak language, which is very similar to Czech, uses the usual names derived from latin (?) so they're almost identical to English.

    Magpie
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    usa : please "leaves"" plural of leaf! oh ok, yeah and i'm leaving, bye

    Nick Gisburne
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is there a way to say 'autumnal' when using 'fall'?

    Zack Oswalt
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is there a way to say 'vernal' when using 'spring'?

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    John
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    BUUUURRRRRRNNNNNN!!!!

    Nigel Poke
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So the Americans stopped growing up interesting.

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    #33

    Grammatically Correct Sentences

    English language joke about grammatically correct sentences with Yoda nodding in agreement.

    joyheartsyou Report

    Amy-Louise Jack
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Smith doesn't look like a word anymore

    Jaye Smith
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Smith is my last name and it doesn't look familiar anymore.

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    Josh Vietze
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How many Lowe’s would a Rob Lowe rob if a Rob Lowe could rob Lowe’s?

    Chris Clark
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is yet another example where "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo." could fit...

    J. Bailey
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Will Will Smith smith Will Smith's will? Yes. Will Smith will smith Will Smith's will.

    Guðmundur Pálmason
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Smith Will will smith is correct too. (the) smith (whose name is Will) will smith. In fact you can also switch the two last words, so Smith Will smith will is also correct!

    Dina Lubman
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm good at english, or at least thought I was untill I saw these posts. What is wrong with these people?

    Lindy Mac
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am relatively proficient with the English language, as a damn Yankee, and I am thinking: "What is wrong with these people."

    ksskskkss
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Will Will Smith smith Will Smith? Yes, Will Smith will smith Will Smith.

    Zack Oswalt
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Will Smith will Will Smith to smith Smith's​ will, or will Will?

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    #34

    Goose And Geese

    Funny English language joke about goose/geese and moose/meese plurals explained.

    linguisticsyall Report

    Hans
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think it is amazing to see how closely many languages are intertwined. Therefore, people talking about "supremacy" of languages will often have no clue. On the other hand, other language families are quite fascinating in comparison, particularly if you consider the "efficiency" of saying something. And then, having isolated non-related languages (like Basque) are truly fascinating.

    Phil LaRussa
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's called the Indo-European Language Tree, look it up, it's actually very interesting.

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    Notchimine Mette
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Excellent! I always wondered about that.

    Happy Ghost
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    mouse > mice, louse > lice, house > hice? I mean, those words even seem to have a common origin, because in German, they rhyme too! (Maus, Laus, Haus)

    Chris W
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Even more fun facts. Early European settlers to America were not very familiar with most game animals, since hunting was generally reserved for royalty. So when they ran across an animal bigger in body and antler than the normal deer, they called it an "elk" even though that particular animal is more closely related to a hart. When they finally did see an elk, or elg as Norwegians say it, they were out of words and had to use the Native American word. Norwegians think this is nuts, because in Norway "moose" is spelled "mouse" and is hunted with a cat.

    We are the fandom trash
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I read linguistics as linguini and I was so confused

    Victoria Pietsch
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This just reminded me of the Brian Regan joke. The plural of "ox" is "oxen," therefore "box" should be "boxen". But when told the pluarl of "goose" is "geese," Brian claimed that "moose" became "moosen." . . . . He saw a flocken of moosen in the woodsenenend (please tell me I am not the only one to know of this comedian and this joke).

    #35

    Questions And Answers

    English language joke about replacing "W" with "T" in questions, highlighting humorous language quirks.

    tweakerwolf Report

    Zack Oswalt
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think we sould use "tho" to refer to a specific person and "thy" for a cause to complete the pattern.

    Neill Kovrig
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's also the h-w-t terms for location: Here. Where? There. Come hither. Whither? Thither. Hence ... whence? Thence. Granted - we don't use thither and whither very often, but they exist. And the -ither stands for "to," and the "-ence" stands for "from." I love purposeful words.

    Iain Osborne
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    W-, T-, here. all to do with place...

    #36

    It Isn’t What It Is

    Meme humorously illustrating the confusion in English language with eggplant, pineapple, hamburger, and guinea pig.

    mrloria Report

    Master Markus
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Eggplants were called that because the variety first introduced to the Europeans looked like an egg (you can see them if you look it up, they're white), pineapple was called that because it looks like a pine cone and "apple" was a generic word for "fruit", hamburger is from the "Hamburg steak" which is a kind of ground beef dish. Here are theories about the "guinea pig": http://www.grammarphobia.com/blog/2009/12/how-did-the-guinea-pig-get-its-name.html

    Totally a Dragon
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Congratulations. You spent even more time on a hopeless language

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    Paige Deem
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's called a hamburger because of a dish called Hamburg Steak which came to the US from German city of Hamburg in the 19th century 🙂

    Raspberry37
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yup. As a German I always loved the coincidence with "ham" though.

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    Jude Samson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Most of the rest of the world calls eggplants aubergines. Most of the rest of the world calls pineapples ananas. English just likes to make up stuff randomly.

    Francis Dechêne
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love the hindi word : baigan, rhyming with bacon except for the g. It should be adopted. Eggplant is weird.

    Raspberry37
    Community Member
    6 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    Josie Beaudoin
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They not only sound a lot like pigs, they also look like miniature pigs (to a small degree).

    Zack Oswalt
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Classical music is from long after the classical era, hot dogs have nothing to do with dog (we hope), French fries are not from France, German chocolate cake is not from Germany, the hamstring isn't a string, and Polo shirts were designed for use in golf.

    Takayuki Ikemura
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    eggplants were originally white, and looked kind of like eggs. for some reaspn, the odd purple mutation became more popular though, and nobpdy can easily see why the name.

    Magpie
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Eggplant is called Aubergiene, but no one knows quite how to say it nor spell it.

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    #37

    I Before E

    English language joke highlighting I before E rule exceptions with humorous examples.

    maskedlinguist Report

    Valquerys
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In Singapore, we say I before E except after “C”

    Quinn Gusinow
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    still doesnt work. there's no "c" in feisty, where "e" comes before "i". Just like when you run a feisty heist with a beige foreign neighbor. Sorry :')

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    Magpie
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Last year in Australia the I before E rule was officially dropped from English classes. There are more exceptions to the rule than times when it is correct. * erm last year or the year before

    Carly Noelle
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In the words of Brian Regan, "I before e except after c, and when sounding like a as in neighbor and weigh. And on weekends and holidays and all throughout May, and you'll always be wrong no matter what you say!"

    Jennifer Bailey
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I before e for words making the eee sound like achieve and believe.

    Jude Samson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Only about 66 words follow this “rule” whereas nearly 1000 break it.

    missnoe'lmags
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The full rhyme is "I before E except after C, or when sounding like "Ay" as in "neighbor" and "weigh". So, beige does technically follows that rule.

    Elaine Everett-Klimas
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is a problem because you're only using the first half of the quote. The FULL quote is " i before e except after c when it rhymes with d " Now, I think, you will find it works without fail. You're welcome.

    Chris Clark
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait... "i before e except after c and words that sound like a" Where the f**k did "rhymes with d" come from?

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    Lauren Breiner
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I before e except after c or when sounding like A as in neighbor or weigh... Ahhh.. English literary science.

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    #38

    Opposites

    English language joke comparing "firefly" and "waterfall" in a humorous meme format.

    just-shower-thoughts Report

    Pi...
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We say brinjal instead of eggplant...

    Adele Teeling
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Only called an eggplant in US english, in UK English that particular vegetable is called an aubergine

    #39

    Funny English Where Everything Fits Together

    Meme about the English language with a humorous checklist of phrases and a pen on a card.

    mambloo Report

    Aistė Sankauskaitė
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not the same ones, but good enough? https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/277376962/set-of-12-adult-content-f-cards-f-it-me?ref=related_listings

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    Nick Gisburne
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tick them all - f**k everything! :D

    Suzanne Haigh
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The F word is rarely used in English amongst decent people, in America it seem EVERYONE uses it, why?

    Emma Edwards
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    wheres the all of the above square

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    #40

    Spelt Or Spelled

    English language joke about the confusion between "spelt" and "spelled."

    thedailylaughs Report

    Kraneia The Dancing Dryad
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I say "spelt". 🙂 Seems to depend on what part of the country you're in, and how big a reader you are. Both spellings are correct.

    Josie Beaudoin
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It depends on whether you're talking about the wheat or spelling. Spelt can be one of two words.

    Nick Gisburne
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I prefer spelt. In other words, I spell spelled spelt.

    #41

    A Jar

    Jar Jar meme illustrating funny quirks of the English language with jars.

    MyopiaPod Report

    Intensive Panda
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    now enter "ajar jarjar in a jar in an ajar jar" in google translator and click on "pronounce" 🤣😂🤣

    Victoria Pietsch
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    lmao. I legitimately put it in google translate for this.. beautiful

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    Erik Maes
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When tweetle beetles fight, it's called a tweetle beetle battle. And when they battle in a puddle, it's a tweetle beetle puddle battle. AND when tweetle beetles battle with paddles in a puddle, they call it a tweetle beetle puddle paddle battle.

    Tushar Roy Mukherjee
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    एक अजर जार में एक जार में अजर जार - I translated it to Hindi...I'm gonna try bengali, tamil and all other Indian languages later. It already doesn't make sense...

    Lindy Mac
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When is a door not a door? ....When it is ajar.

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    #42

    British English

    English language joke about misunderstanding British phrases.

    stitched-spade Report

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    #43

    When English Is Not Your Native Language

    Meme illustrating why the English language can be challenging for non-native speakers with humorous depictions.

    Mlle Karensac Report

    ADHORTATOR
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah oui, c' est comme ca pour les francais...

    Panpan
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Français. C'est difficult, mais il est super. I only speak some French.

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    Calvin Wilkerson
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's reading a tv show, what can't this woman do

    Alex Matencio
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a French who grew up abroad and came back living in that country a couple years ago, I figured if French are so bad with foreign accents (or even different French accents), it's because they are deeply convinced they can't do it. The French have this failure-culture that has spread so widely that anything that isn't widely considered "easy", is unconsciously considered impossible. And you know, when you trust that much it's impossible: when you give it a try, you give it such a loose try that it's meant to fail, which quickly justifies your idea that it was impossible. It's a simple common cognitive bias. (The funniest part is there's renowned an expression in French that goes "Impossible is not French", lmao) But also, the French have this incredible culture of self-justification to legitimize their failure, all the time, which is culturally well accepted and supported. It's never "them", it's "life", or the "government", or the "social system" that is too "Capitalist" for them (when it's the opposite, "unemployment" being the safest job here), or really, any other reason. Every time. See "Yellow Vests Movement" for reference (even tho that movement started for the better, it was quickly turned into the worse). The French culture as is, is meant to disappear. Too weak. Doesn't match with the nature's law that is "the law of the fittest"

    We are the fandom trash
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm learning Norwegian as a native english speaker and it's complete hell. It's not phonetic, JEG IS PRONOUNCED "YIAY", and the only sentences I remember from DuoLingo are "Endene spiser ikke talerkenene" and "Har du klaer pa deg" (There are probably a hell of a lot of typos and I'm sorry.)

    Chad Ogle
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The s****y thing is i just had no problem speaking that sentence in decent french but my first language is American english! Lol

    Fiona Messenger
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same with a lot of languages that aren't your first

    Thor Sten
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    English was the easiest of the languages I learned. Simple grammar FTW. Greetings from Germany!

    Chuck Bartowski
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Could even be when _______________ is not your native language. When I learned Spanish, I became proficient at reading first, then listening, then speaking, and finally writing.

    Master Markus
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So... can you write English? Is it a problem of knowing the words or pronouncing them?

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    #44

    Literally

    Meme showing literal interpretations of English phrases with humorous images and text.

    theoatmeal Report

    Erza
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG I dreamt I did that last one once.

    Tiny Dynamine
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This guy is hilarious. You must visit his site.

    Master Markus
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I haven't been there in a while, but he at least USED to be quite s****y.

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    Bruce Ferrier
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This looks like the art style in exploding kittens

    Suzanne Haigh
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    These are not British English saying

    Suzanne Haigh
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Common English, not what polite people speak

    Alex Matencio
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same idioms in French. Like, literally. Now with the French language's influence over modern English, it's understandable. We also got "Dying laughing" in French and in English, which would mean you aren't there anymore to even specify that since you're dead and so on. It's called an Hyperbolism backed with an impacting image. Simply exaggerating a fact to let the audience know you either really liked something, or really hated it. It's cultural. Now the "I got your back", we don't have it in French, but it's simple to understand why the expression: if the guy's going to fall, you're going to support his back to not let him fall to the ground, hence preventing him from falling. So really, I don't understand why this is considered an actual linguistic quirk. Both French and English are languages that use a lot of images to express stuff. Cultural.

    Patrick Longe
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Literally always has been and always will be a contronym. Not only is literally mostly used to mean figuratively, but the word only ever means specifically in a figurative sense.

    Kiki
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    British love the word "literally".

    Zack Oswalt
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or your using the word literally in a non-issue sense. Mark Twain often used witty humor, and famously wrote that Tom Sawyer was "literally swimming in wealth".

    Patrick Longe
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    An even earlier example of figurative literally would be from Frances Brooke's "History of Emily Montague IV" from 1769: "He is a fortunate man to be introduced to such a party of fine women at his arrival; it is literally to feed among the lilies"

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    #45

    Fake Words

    English language joke about fake words like yacht, lieutenant, and rendezvous.

    fangirlbc Report

    Bart Vink
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A little portion of whatever is left (last bit of coffee in a jar for example). It's either that, or the funniest way to explain censorship in mature content when you're bad at English as a non-native speaker.

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    Amanda Codlin
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What's the English word for rendezvous? Scheduled meeting? It seems so sexual... rendezvous*slow sexual voice* sigh

    Mavia Kainaat
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hey..Rendezvous is pronounced as "Ron-day-woo" . LOL

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    D.B. Myrrha
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had to look up tittynope. It is hilarious that such a word exists.

    Daria B
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, rendezvous is French, so... Found the "fake" intruder?

    Zack Oswalt
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't even try sailing terms... Gunwhale is "gunnel," forecastle is "fohxle," and boatswain is "bohsun."

    Victoria Pietsch
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Floccinaucinihilipilification. Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. Sesquipedalian. Pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism. Antidisestablishmentarianism. (and several more that I don't remember the spelling of... the above I actually had memorized) . . . . And then there are words like Euouae. Great.. just great.

    Thegreatcountryofverden
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is a disease caused by breathing volcano ash.

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    Happy Ghost
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've always found "vlog" very unenglish, it's like the only English word that begins with vl-

    Alex Matencio
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All those words are 100% French without the slightest variation except for Rendez-vous which has the "-" missing. On the other hand Tittynope isn't French at all, and yacht is Dutch for "jacht". Goddamn, y'all saying English is non-sensical, but with the average culture y'all got, it makes sense you feel that way x) < Pun intended.

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    #46

    Pronounce Like You Spell

    English language joke about "GHOTI" being pronounced as "FISH" due to pronunciation quirks.

    heliager Report

    Joseph Pensak
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Gh, however, is never pronounced as F at the beginning of a word.

    PinkFrost
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, and it's not ti that makes the sh sound, it's either tion or tian that makes sh. In fact, you probably don't need that n at the end

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    Suzanne Haigh
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Women = singular Women =' Wimen' plural

    Suzanne Haigh
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    GHOTI? American English NOT true English

    Alex Matencio
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So how do you pronounced Matthew McConaughey please haha? it's been a mystery for me for years. The 'ti' pronunciation is actually "tion" pronunciation as a whole.

    oh
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you pronounce women as "wimen"??

    Laura Sieben
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think someone read "Half-Broke Horses" 😂

    Zack Oswalt
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Spell socks as "atswaawerecast" - atswa in boatswain, awe in awesome, and recast in forecastle.

    Harmony Stout
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also it's not GH that says 'F' it's 'ough' says 'off'

    Magpie
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    also phyti ; ph as in physics, y as in physics, ti as in station

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    #47

    English Rhymes

    English language joke highlighting the confusing pronunciation of "lead" and "read."

    innocenceontheoutside Report

    Derpy Bob
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Out of interest, who in comments read the first one as led and red?

    Lilya
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is some serious shiitttt

    Pavlina Tsiapi
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    More like the english language broke him

    Pooja Chopdekar
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But "lead" does not rhyme with "read" and "lead" does not rhyme with "read" IYKWIM

    Shaun Kilkenny
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But sometimes "lead" doesn't rhyme with "read"

    #48

    Stop This Madness

    English language joke about confusing "polish" with "Polish" and "read" with "read."

    kilihasparasites Report

    Thomas Hobbs
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You should read "polish" as "polish", but don't read "polish" as "Polish", or "Polish" as "polish"..

    Kraneia The Dancing Dryad
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's a joke about polish remover vs Polish remover.... The joke is in poor taste so I won't give you the punch line.....

    Neurotic_Octopus
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was half asleep in my own bathroom once and wondered why I had a bottle of Polish remover...

    Magpie
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes the word read depends on surrounding words to give it the pronounciation.

    Carly Noelle
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always read the word palish as pole-ish first." "I always reed reed as reed first before I reed reed as red instead." That's the way I read it . . .

    #49

    English is Weird

    English language joke about "can't" highlighting odd grammar nuances.

    ernstills Report

    Your Friendly Neighbourhood Panda
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think about this too all the time! I've decided that instead of "Why can't you" being "Why can not you," it means "Why can you not," despite the basic grammar rules being weird. I guess it's just implied?

    Denzel James Lim
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Implied and simplified. Afterall, what's important is getting the thought across.

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    Happy Ghost
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I only have this problem with "let's". "Let us" sounds completely different.

    Marisa Marflak
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's because when you say "Don't you dare" you're really trying to tell the person "Do not dare" ACTION. Since typically you would say that phrase directly to a person, the "you" is implied. For example: You don't want your toddler to draw on the wall, so you say "Don't you dare" but what you mean is "Do not dare draw on that wall." Context is everything

    Ian Sullivan
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Btw can not is actually cannot. Your welcome.

    Too Lazy To Care 🐼
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not even a writer and constantly think about this.

    Alex Matencio
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oddly seems pretty logical and natural when you learn English as a second language.

    David Dau
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "let's don't" always messed me up in kids books "let us do not"

    Denzel James Lim
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Take is as "can you not" or "do you not"

    Sick Boy
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Are things like these not taught in the elementary school?

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    #50

    Which is Which

    English language joke about pronunciation confusion with words like data, route, caramel, and read.

    ijustwanttohugdavidtennant Report

    Skunk Drunk
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Text can only convey so much...

    Lauraine Zhou
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    why did I read this comment in Boris's voice(rocky and Bullwinkle) from prime?

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    Jude Samson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s ALWAYS carAmel. Anyone dropping the second A is pronouncing it incorrectly.

    Suzanne Haigh
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Simple - The difference between American corrupted English and True English complicates things, speak true English life would be so much easier.

    Alex Matencio
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh yeah, I've always wondered how the French word "content" (satisfied/happy) sneaked in the English language when there's already "content" that also comes from the French word "contenu"...LMAO. F****d up

    Noy Saad
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's either either AND either

    Jonathan Spitzer
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The first person to popularize pronouncing data with a long 'a' at the beginning was Patrick Stewart when they were doing the table read for the pilot episode of "Star Trek: The Next Generation".

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    #51

    English Language is Contradictory

    English language joke highlighting the irony of "monosyllabic" having five syllables.

    moonmaven Report

    Rochelle Thompson
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why is the word Abbreviation so long and why is the word phonetic not..

    Ruth Sneddon
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't forget that dyslexia is really hard to spell.

    Mark Haycock
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why do they call the fear of long words Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?

    Zack Oswalt
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because pentasyllabic stole the whole idea.

    Alex Matencio
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I believe it ain't a self-explanatory word

    Sean Degnan
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why is phonetically not spelled that way?

    Emma Edwards
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    every wonder why the word for the phobia of long words is a huge long a**e word?

    Alexandre Martinet
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Denial. Because a phobia keeps you from facing your fear

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    Thomas Hobbs
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Why does the word "short" have more letters in it than the word "long"?

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    #52

    Aisle Be There for You

    English language joke highlighting the similar pronunciation of "aisle," "isle," and "I'll."

    booklover223 Report

    Jessica Westbrook
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That also depends on accent. I'll isn't pronunced the same as aisle and isle where I'm from on the States.

    Rachael Leventhal
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Really? Where are you from? I'm from the DC area, but went to school in the Boston area, and that's the pronunciation here. Is it a Southern thing to have them different?

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    Suzanne Haigh
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is because the Americans do not speak English English, simple

    Alex Matencio
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you knew how many French words are spelled differently yet pronounced the same, you wouldn't mock English for it x). It's hell for foreigners learning French.

    Michael Lewis
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's even worse with air, aire, ere, err, and heir

    Stephen Graham
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'll say there's not much difference.

    James Stocker
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've lived in NY, KY and MO and I'll is slightly different then the other 2

    criminalgirl
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But the structure of the sentence gives them meaning.

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    #53

    Brain Hurty

    Joke about English language: "had had" versus "had" in grammar test example; humorous confusion.

    funny-text-posts Report

    rai mei
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    it's weird cause in our language had-had means tinea cruris in medical terms. hahaha

    Zack Oswalt
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So you could say "he had had had-had" to mean in the past, that guy suffered from tinea cruris.

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    Nick Gisburne
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do do is a good one too. I do do that, and often.

    Bruce Ferrier
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    DID YOU JUST SAY "had" 11 TIMES IN A ROW AND IT ACTUALLY MADE SENSE???

    Jude Samson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In almost all circumstances you can avoid “had had” and also drop “had” from creating double past tense such as “he had busted his knee.” Busted is already past tense, there’s absolutely no need to have a superfluous “had” before it.

    Alexis Elfstrom
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    read it aloud without punctuation and watch everyone's faces change to "what have you been smoking?"

    Christina McIsaac
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "All the faith he had had had had no effect on the outcome of his life."

    Zack Oswalt
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Say you have two possible things: one exists, and the other does not. If someone said they were different, and you said they were wrong, you would actually be wrong. That that that is that that is not is not that that is that that is is not true is not true.

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    #54

    Thrice Removed

    English language joke highlighting the abbreviation "I'ma" for "I am going to" humorously.

    rieriebee Report

    Lilya
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I am going to do what I want." just doesn't sound as good as: "IM'A' DO WHAT I WANT!!!"

    Lindy Mac
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It also sounds illiterate... sorry.

    James Dean
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm a do... indeed, it's interesting how it seems to be an ongoing increasing contraction of 'I am going to do' - but interesting also how it now is indistinguinshable from a contraction of simply, 'I am to do'!

    Sophia Cai
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I'm fine" is an abbreviation for "I am definitely not fine".

    John
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I judge people that say I'ma. I lump it in the same category as using E'ry instead of Every and Her instead of Here. It's just lazy and makes you sound kind of stupid.

    Carly Noelle
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For some reason "I'ma" doesn't bother me, but the other things you mentioned do.

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    J.T. Shyman
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is the basis for LZH compression.

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    #55

    One for All and All for One

    English language joke about "say" vs. "tell," humorously illustrating complexity in phrasing and meaning.

    cassidy-peterson Report

    Zack Oswalt
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do. I do "do." I do do, "do 'do.' " Now, I do do, "I do do, "do do, 'do "do." ' "

    #56

    Dedicated Rick Roll

    Joke about English language having a verb for sending Rick Astley video links, from badscienceshenanigans Tumblr post.

    memearchives Report

    Alex Matencio
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Rickrollé in French, which is the basic way in French to appropriate an English word

    Ronnie Long
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's an entire article on the phenomenon that was (is) part of an internet history class. It's a short read, but fascinating. https://www.thisworldthesedays.com/academias-history-of-internet-teaching-article.html

    #57

    Make It Make Sense

    English language joke with wordplay showing humorous use of homonyms and homographs in 20 examples.

    Mike Snyder Report

    Collin Cantrell
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Am I the only one who thought 13 had more to do with the usage of "to" vs "too" than pronouncing close?

    Tara Schmehr
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When it says too close, the s is pronounced like an s. When it says to close, the s is pronounced like a z.

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    #58

    I Think Therefore I Yam

    A humorous post about the English language featuring a sweet potato joke and confusion between potato and yam.

    nopathfollowed Report

    Thomas Gartman
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I see it now. Definitely not a cantaloupe.

    John
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But it is a sweet potato. Yams and sweet potatoes are not the same thing! yam-sweetp...9c0212.jpg yam-sweetpot11-58a46bc9c0212.jpg

    Dina Lubman
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honestly, I have it worse. After reading these posts I have forgotten how to read/speak english altogether. I read: *cries*

    Lindy Mac
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If it was Popeye singing it would be : I yam WHAT I yam.... I'm Popeye the sailor man. Lets not get started on Pope ye....

    Kraneia The Dancing Dryad
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This would make more sense to the older generations who grew up watching Popeye the sailor man cartoons.

    Suzanne Haigh
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This does not make sense to me, a true English speaker !

    Eva Camera
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I read "I cheeseoo I cheese".

    Patrick Longe
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's a sweet potato, not a yam. Yams are very starchy tubers with white flesh. Thought they appear similar they are completely unrelated. Sweet potatoes, like potatoes, belong to the taxonomic order Solanales, yams belong to the order Dioscoreales.

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    #59

    Beauty in Language

    English language joke list titled "The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English" with humorous definitions.

    yahel Report

    Daria B
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Meh, most of these aren't even English words. Yep! I'm petty and snobby.

    John
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, that's English for you. English is built out of the best pieces of other languages.

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    Minsa Nidhi
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Okay great, now I can call myself an ailurophile instead of a cat lover

    Myra Groenewegen
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Agree with everything except Bucolic. I don't care what it means, it sounds like a particularly nasty stage of the bubonic plague.

    Zack Oswalt
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Vestigial only sounds nice if you say "vesteezheeal" (like me) rather than "vestijool" ( like everyone else).

    Derpy Bob
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Elixir is definitely one of my favourites

    Nick Gisburne
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is mmm a word? Universal declaration of deep-seated approval. The longer you make the word, the more you approve.

    João Ferreira
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thank you, this was truly an unexpected "Lagniappe". Nevertheless, as pointed out by Daria B lots of these are French, Latin or Native American.

    Shizuka Megh
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ok i can already see majority of this aren't even english i'm going to point out the one's i know the origin of - Bugalow(it's a bengali word.i'm bengali so spotted it right away),Ratatouille(french),Seraglio(persian to italian).actually,there's only couple of words that are original english.all of them are non-english -_-

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    #60

    Weird English Language Nightmare

    English language joke about "y'all'd've" and confusion with contractions.

    nashscribblings Report

    Aegon VI Targaryen
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    y'all'd've known this had y'all've been from the south.

    Elizabeth Goains
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know this cause I am from the south, also all y’all means all you all

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    Zachary Hero
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I once spent an evening teaching some folk from California the implications and differences between "y'all" and "all y'all"

    Ethan Piekarski
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The worst multi-contraction I've's "y'all'd've'd'd've", as in "Sorry he already left, if you wanted to say goodbye, the last chance y'all'd've'd'd've been last night." Yes, I know it's not pronounceable; if you think I'm doing this just to be a jerk, you're right, I'm.

    Kelly Creighton
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Imma = I am going to. As in, "Imma go to the store."

    Suzanne Haigh
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bad American English again, someone needs to seriously sort the "English" teachers out in the USA

    #61

    Preposition Problems

    English language joke about prepositions: "We say in January, on Wednesday, at 12 o'clock".

    frosheep53 Report

    May Jeanette Fast
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I could be wrong but here's why I think it makes sense. January is a month, a month is a time period that contains somethings (weeks and days) so for anything that contains anything, we say it's in it. "Oh the dinner is in the fridge" For Wednesday it's a day, and many times people ask when something is happening or "when is it on?" and so you say it's "on Wednesday". The same goes for time except you say "on at" because the use of "at" when it comes to clock time is due to the use of the clock. At is used to describe where the clock hand is at.

    Bart Vink
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Months contain weeks and days, yes. But days contain hours, and hours contain minutes. Speaking of which we say "The show's on in fifteen minutes" so there's "in" again. I could go on but my brain is already hurting enough.

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    Magdalena Bertola
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's probably one of the worst things people who are learning english as a second/third/etc language have to understand (or at least try)

    Benz Tyt
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    it depends on the average timing of what you are talking about(eg. tuition classes- use weeks)

    Clayton Jones
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like Korean, because it uses one article for all three, haha

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    #62

    Many Words With The Same Meanings

    English language joke about "I've not" and "I haven't" being the same thing, with dramatic expression.

    prettylittlesinflower Report

    April King
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    thats why I've just shortened it all together as "I'ven't"

    Zack Oswalt
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Am I the only one who says "i'm'na" instead of "I'ma" as a contraction of I'm gonna? I also say I'da for I woulda and i'v'n for I've been.

    Carly Noelle
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Whenever I say something like, "it's not" I wonder whether "it isn't" would've been better.

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    #63

    English Language Meme

    Text post humorously highlighting quirks in the English language pronunciation, focusing on "salmonella."

    allthedifferenc3 Report

    Brett Hunsaker
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I only pronounce one of the 'l's before the 'a'.

    Jennifer Hunter
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Technically you'd pronounce it as sal-mo-nel-la; we're just lazy and run the last two L's together so it only sounds like 1.

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    BobSponge444
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    two "l"s are pronounced the same wdym

    Shizuka Megh
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you pronounce salmonella as sal-mo-nella...but you don't care to pronounce "Queue" as "kuwayy" or "kaay" and only pronounce the "Q" please kill me

    Dina Lubman
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Idgaf at this point, the english language has confused my to the point where "Salmonella" is now "Samenelluh"

    Zack Oswalt
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I say sammonella to match the fish

    Benz Tyt
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    lol I pronounce it as sa-lo-me-la

    Eva Tóthová
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    no, after words like wor(ce)ster, lei(ce)ster, and countless others, it is actually very satisfying

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    #64

    Pretty Odd

    Funny English language joke about the phrase "You're pretty pretty."

    rawrmylollypop Report

    Maeldwyn
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've been told I'm half pretty and half ugly. I guess that makes me pretty ugly.

    Benz Tyt
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    lololololololololololololololololololol that means you are quite ugly(no offence)

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    Niềng Răng Lăng Xăng
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    once i wanted to tell my bf she is pretty mature but accidently hit enter soon. She was surprised and happy. That was the first time i call her pretty. Never tell her about this.

    Zack Oswalt
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some politicians are extremely neutral and quite nonspecific, but others are impartially biased and their words vary very verily.

    Bob Simms
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This building is pretty ugly and a little big

    #65

    Give and Take

    English language joke questioning why it's called "taking a shower" and pondering the logic behind it.

    tiltedcircles Report

    Notchimine Mette
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I never take showers - I just...shower...

    Myra Groenewegen
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have to GIVE the dog a bath before I TAKE one myself. I could take a bath with the dog but he might give me a cold. Interesting though one cannot one usually does not say " I probably "took" a cold from the dog. Although a rather formal and old way of talking speaks of people getting sick as people "taking ill" (ie "she took ill last friday and hasn't seen any gentlemen callers since") It's wild and wonderful how so much of assumed lingual abstraction in English has to do with verbs and directions, as though everything moves and interacts in very precise ways, when really only the language does.

    Eric Kohler
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I take a s**t, but I don't give a s**t.

    Panpan
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let me go steal and hide a shower.

    David Noble
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe because, originally, you carried (took) the water for your bath/shower with you in a wash basin? So if you forgot to take your shower water, you couldn't take your shower until you got more water.

    Dina Lubman
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But.....who TOOK them... to GIVE them to you....so that you HAD them?......

    No name
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So basically we're giving a newborn a baby shower but where do they take them??? Or we take showers, so who do we give them to? Some people need a damn shower to take honestly

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    #67

    It’s Confusing, Isn’t It?

    English language joke: "It's what it's" in a minimalist text post format.

    nktjn Report

    Crystal Poe
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nooo. I say It is what it is all the time. This one messed with me worse than all the others combined.

    Myra Groenewegen
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hey! Online shorteners and contraction-obseesed US Southerners, why haven't you found this one yet?!

    Patrick Longe
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a general rule of thumb is only use "it's" if there is a clear subject, and "it is" if there is not. "It's what it is" works because separating the is from the second it makes that it the subject, justifying the "It's" at the beginning, "It's what it's" is not idiomatic english

    Zack Oswalt
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Que va a ser, va a ser... Whatever is going to be is going to be

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    Are Jokes Based on Plays on Words Mostly an English Language Thing?

    Although there are many English language fails in this list, it also lends itself to many clever puns. But English isn’t the only language with double entendres or witticisms. Wordplay is quite common in oral cultures, whereas text-based (orthographic) puns are found in languages with or without alphabet-based scripts, such as Mandarin Chinese. In fact, in Sweden, the city of Gothenburg is well-known for its puns.

    English is frustrating and often weird, but it lends itself to beautiful wordplay and sentences that just roll off the tongue. Still, we must laugh at its crazy grammar, which can’t be replicated in any other language. Let us know in the comments if you’ve encountered any funny English fails or double meanings. We’d sure love to get a laugh out of it!