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Do you know what the best thing about becoming a father is? I'm getting the dad joke pass.
It doesn't matter if you have a baby on the way and need to learn some quickly or simply roll your eyes; there’s a lame joke for every father, and the crew at The Dad knows it.
They have been tweeting all of the popular dad sayings, perfectly describing all of our fathers along the way.
More info: thedad.com | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter
This post may include affiliate links.
"Kids are the ultimate tweet fodder and that's a universal truth," Joel Willis, the Executive Editor for The Dad, told Bored Panda. "I keep a notepad on my phone and write down the crazy things they say or the hundreds of situations every day that make me say WTF."
"For the 'Dads love' series, I just think about the classic silly jokes we all cringe at when dads say them, but ultimately we find ourselves saying once we become the funny dads ourselves. There's a massive wealth of material there."
However, he isn't the only one working on them. The Dad team has talented creators located all over the place, from NYC to Australia, and they contribute as well. "The team has dozens more of these already written that we'll tweet over time. The world can't handle that much of the best dad jokes all at once. But you haven't seen the end of this series."
But 'Dads love' isn't the only thing they're creating. "I'm most proud of the huge range the brand has. We'll do a ridiculous olive oil prank and follow that with authentic stories about fatherhood. We'll create a viral video called AphukenbrakE and also give $500 each month to dads doing great things."
RELATED:
#2
The One About Police Sirens
Reggie Kraken 6 years ago
Or by grabbing your collar and shouting "He's Here! Ive got him!" "Get off Dad I'm 28"
Jeeya Kaur 6 years ago
my dad did this too me whern I was litle and for a period of time I was scared of cop, like even talking too them.
Linda Matheny 6 years ago
Having been a police officer that is the worst thing you can tell your child. If something awful happened you have reinforced their fear of going to a police officer they might see, they won't speak up.
Happiness is Hippo 6 years ago
I think tone makes all the difference here. This kind of joke never made me fear the police, but I have heard parents telling misbehaving children they'll "get a policeman to come and take them away" in a threatening tone. This might really cause fear and distrust of the police, but I don't think we need to worry about the dad jokes :)
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Rachael Marrast 6 years ago
haha I actually do that to my kids. Guess its not just a dad thing
Ani Archeron 6 years ago
wuhluhwuhluhwuhluhweeeeooooooooooooooooooooooooooeeeeeoooooowuhluhwuhluhwuhluhweeeeeeeoooooooooooo
Joel himself has two kids. "My daughter is 9 and my son is 7. They are the best. Non-stop laughs (except when they're whining) and an endless source of meme fodder," he said. "For real, they are so much smarter, funnier, and generally more well-balanced than I will ever be."
"A good dad does the best he can to improve things for his kids, his family, and the community. A good dad makes mistakes, because we all do. Eventually kids grow up and realize that their dad wasn't a superhero after all, but rather a flawed individual trying his best like everyone else. A good dad is someone whose family still looks up to him despite that."
#3
About Spending Wisely
#5
The One About Free Stuff
Gwen Pollock 6 years ago
I hated it when people said this when I was a cashier. I usually responded with "nope. I have another way to enter the barcode!"
#6
Because A Hello Just Wouldn't Work
#7
On The Good Old Days
#8
Dads And Bills
Iván Galarraga 6 years ago
I didn't know there was an equivalent of that phrase in my native language: ¿Cuanto es el daño? Lol
#9
Always Hoping For Better
#10
Universal Dad Sayings
#11
The One About Blocking The View
#12
That's How Dads Communicate
#13
Dad Sayings
#14
The One About Gas Prices
Ava Barrero 6 years ago
Goes like this: Dad: holy shiz look at that Me: too much or too little Dad: what the f**k dammmmmmmmmmnnnnn Me: too little Dad: no why the c**p is the gas price so f***ing high
#15
Teaching Things
#16
The Frustration
better version of alex 6 years ago
oh my dad loves buying things that are just a bit too expensive, my moms the budgeter in the family
#17
Ultimate Dad Joke
#18
Dad Sayings
Erika Jones 6 years ago
Now that I have experienced the genuine horror of bedbugs, I never, ever say this.
#19
Dad Jokes
Max Harkins 6 years ago
Yeah, my dad did that a lot. Now I do it to my kids. They never do it tho.
#20
Lame Jokes
Catlady6000 6 years ago
As a waitress I fully aid and abet this, "Yeah, he called the manager before ya'll came. You get to do the dishes!" Awesome when the kid believes!
#21
Frugal Dads
Mewton’s Third Paw 6 years ago
Omg lmfao! I had no idea this was a universal dad thing. My dad has made me do this for over 30 years and now I make my fiancé do it
#22
Walking Weather App
#23
Universal Dad Sayings
earringnut 6 years ago
My dad does this all the time. He even says "tag you're it" on the next call.
#24
Something To Be Proud Of
#25
Every Dad Says This
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What do you think ?
William Burkin 6 years ago
Why did the blind man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well.
FortnitePlayerGirl 6 years ago
Dad jokes are so bad they're good. My father knew that and told us those jokes all the time.
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Withnail 6 years ago (edited)
I'm a dad and I say almost none of these. Maybe it's what our dads say as opposed to what new dads say. I am a fairly new dad, so maybe it hasn't kicked in yet. Should probably give it some time... like that time I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
Mewton’s Third Paw 6 years ago
Have an upvote, kid. Not sure what’s going on here...
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glowworm2 6 years ago
What about the one where they'll go "What?" after you make a hearing loss comment?
Kiss Army 6 years ago
I wear a hearing aid and have trouble hearing in some environments - I can tell you this joke never gets old with some people.
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Pungent Sauce 6 years ago
Dads (Men) will always say “Well, that’s not going anywhere” after securing any kind of load to a vehicle.
Mewton’s Third Paw 6 years ago
If I ever tell my dad that I’m “just chilling,” he ALWAYS says “don’t freeze!” Lol
Reggie Kraken 6 years ago
My dad routinely says "I'm not telling you what to do, but..." before telling me what to do. He also asks me if I've seen Stranger Things (or any other program) at least 800 times per week, regardless of my answer.
Sammiche 6 years ago
My dad's old toaster on wheels (a van that was basically shaped like... well, you get the idea) had some kind of defect where you could actually take the keys out of the ignition and shut the engine off while driving. His favorite gag was to wait until we were within a safe coasting distance from our parking space, and then pull the keys out and hand it to either me or my sister (whichever of us happened to be riding shotgun). "Here, hold these."
Carol Emory 6 years ago
For my dad it was every time he burped "Did you hear that bear?" Anytime he farted "There's those barking spiders again." And anytime we got in the car for a road trip we were "Off like a dirty shirt" or "Off like a herd of turtles...."
finelaffen 6 years ago
Dads love to say "now go straight home and don't get into any trouble on the way" when the neighbours have been over and are leaving. Or is that just my dad?
Paul Mitchell 6 years ago
I guess it's because you go to work to pay the bills and everyone be else at home thinks money falls from sky. It's a gentle way of reminding them of what many many men do for their loved ones.
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Edgaras Kuodys 6 years ago
My dad used to say "You are not made of glass" when someone was standing in front of TV. 😊
Marnee DeRider 6 years ago
There is no universal saying. "Common" would have been more accurate.
Laura White 6 years ago
Actually, mom's day these too. It all depends what generations you are in and what the sayings at the time were. In 30 years I doubt you'll be hearing "I know, right?"
Harleen 6 years ago
Missed the top ones: "I'm hungry" - "Hi hungry, I'm dad!"....... * kid runs into something* Dad: Go around it, not through it.............. "Dad, could you make me a sandwich?" - *waves invisible wand* "POOF, you're a sandwich!"......... "Well..." - "That's a deep subject!"
Mystical_Muffin 6 years ago
This is nOT OKAY I am a 15 year old female and I have said almost EVERY SINGLE ONE of these what the hELL
Foxyloxylou 6 years ago
*doctor voice* You seem to have Young Girl Dad-itis, a rare condition that causes young girls and not dads to tell Dad Jokes. While it isn't curable, it does not do any harm to the victim.
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Kenny Kulbiski 6 years ago
I'm kinda embarrassed by how many of these I've used. I'd quit but my kids would think I'd been taken over by some kind of alien mind meld.
Master Markus 6 years ago
I mean, my dad says a few of these things SOMETIMES, but way more often when I was a literal child and not now when my brother and I are in our twenties.
Foxyloxylou 6 years ago
if we ask my dad where hes going if he gets in the car, he almost always says "to the moon"
Kerolos Saleib 6 years ago
This is the worst posting ever by BP. This is based on immigrants who translated jokes from back home and mysoginistic ideologies. Before posting such garbage, do your research. This wasn't funny. Rather lame and just click bait and effortless. If your dad did all this, means he was passive aggressive and belittled your mother.... Just saying.
William Burkin 6 years ago
Why did the blind man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well.
FortnitePlayerGirl 6 years ago
Dad jokes are so bad they're good. My father knew that and told us those jokes all the time.
Load More Replies... Withnail 6 years ago (edited)
I'm a dad and I say almost none of these. Maybe it's what our dads say as opposed to what new dads say. I am a fairly new dad, so maybe it hasn't kicked in yet. Should probably give it some time... like that time I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
Mewton’s Third Paw 6 years ago
Have an upvote, kid. Not sure what’s going on here...
Load More Replies... glowworm2 6 years ago
What about the one where they'll go "What?" after you make a hearing loss comment?
Kiss Army 6 years ago
I wear a hearing aid and have trouble hearing in some environments - I can tell you this joke never gets old with some people.
Load More Replies... Pungent Sauce 6 years ago
Dads (Men) will always say “Well, that’s not going anywhere” after securing any kind of load to a vehicle.
Mewton’s Third Paw 6 years ago
If I ever tell my dad that I’m “just chilling,” he ALWAYS says “don’t freeze!” Lol
Reggie Kraken 6 years ago
My dad routinely says "I'm not telling you what to do, but..." before telling me what to do. He also asks me if I've seen Stranger Things (or any other program) at least 800 times per week, regardless of my answer.
Sammiche 6 years ago
My dad's old toaster on wheels (a van that was basically shaped like... well, you get the idea) had some kind of defect where you could actually take the keys out of the ignition and shut the engine off while driving. His favorite gag was to wait until we were within a safe coasting distance from our parking space, and then pull the keys out and hand it to either me or my sister (whichever of us happened to be riding shotgun). "Here, hold these."
Carol Emory 6 years ago
For my dad it was every time he burped "Did you hear that bear?" Anytime he farted "There's those barking spiders again." And anytime we got in the car for a road trip we were "Off like a dirty shirt" or "Off like a herd of turtles...."
finelaffen 6 years ago
Dads love to say "now go straight home and don't get into any trouble on the way" when the neighbours have been over and are leaving. Or is that just my dad?
Paul Mitchell 6 years ago
I guess it's because you go to work to pay the bills and everyone be else at home thinks money falls from sky. It's a gentle way of reminding them of what many many men do for their loved ones.
Load More Replies... Edgaras Kuodys 6 years ago
My dad used to say "You are not made of glass" when someone was standing in front of TV. 😊
Marnee DeRider 6 years ago
There is no universal saying. "Common" would have been more accurate.
Laura White 6 years ago
Actually, mom's day these too. It all depends what generations you are in and what the sayings at the time were. In 30 years I doubt you'll be hearing "I know, right?"
Harleen 6 years ago
Missed the top ones: "I'm hungry" - "Hi hungry, I'm dad!"....... * kid runs into something* Dad: Go around it, not through it.............. "Dad, could you make me a sandwich?" - *waves invisible wand* "POOF, you're a sandwich!"......... "Well..." - "That's a deep subject!"
Mystical_Muffin 6 years ago
This is nOT OKAY I am a 15 year old female and I have said almost EVERY SINGLE ONE of these what the hELL
Foxyloxylou 6 years ago
*doctor voice* You seem to have Young Girl Dad-itis, a rare condition that causes young girls and not dads to tell Dad Jokes. While it isn't curable, it does not do any harm to the victim.
Load More Replies... Kenny Kulbiski 6 years ago
I'm kinda embarrassed by how many of these I've used. I'd quit but my kids would think I'd been taken over by some kind of alien mind meld.
Master Markus 6 years ago
I mean, my dad says a few of these things SOMETIMES, but way more often when I was a literal child and not now when my brother and I are in our twenties.
Foxyloxylou 6 years ago
if we ask my dad where hes going if he gets in the car, he almost always says "to the moon"
Kerolos Saleib 6 years ago
This is the worst posting ever by BP. This is based on immigrants who translated jokes from back home and mysoginistic ideologies. Before posting such garbage, do your research. This wasn't funny. Rather lame and just click bait and effortless. If your dad did all this, means he was passive aggressive and belittled your mother.... Just saying.
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