In ancient times, almost every battle began with a verbal confrontation - two representatives of each army gathered in the field between the armies prepared for battle, and began to shower each other with insults, and the wittier each remark was, the more inspired the warriors would be for the upcoming battle. So it was in the ancient world, so it was in the early Middle Ages, so it was in the days of knights and samurai.
Now, unfortunately, this noble art is almost forgotten, and the battles have gradually moved to the internet. And still, the ability to completely demolish any opponent with just one witty phrase, to make them choke on a retort, remains no less valuable - even if it no longer brings victory on the battlefield.
There's an entire community on Reddit called r/Comebacks dedicated to the most unexpected, impactful, and incredible comebacks ever said, written, or typed. As of today, there are 14.8K members in the community, and hundreds of genuine combo-breaking masterpieces of wit.
Bored Panda has compiled for you this brilliant selection of the most popular and delightful pearls that are likely to have you in stitches. So sit back, make sure you're not chewing or drinking anything right now - and start scrolling this list! Have fun or die laughing!
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Nevermind him being former president, Obama is just awesome with his sense of humor and wit; took everything in stride and delivered several burns. I would love to see him roast people
I still can't wrap my head around how Americans voted in someone like Obama, who by all accounts is just a descent, genuine, down to earth human being, and then immediately followed that up by voting in someone who is quit possibly the most loathsome piece of human garbage I've ever witnessed.
Load More Replies...Between Two Ferns is a scripted comedy, but it's still a pretty good line. That show was hilarious lol
Laughing. I never saw the first hangover movie because it seemed like a stupid premise.
The first one is actually pretty funny but after that not so much in my humble opinion :)
Load More Replies...they aced this response. I struggle with this and need to learn to stop people pleasing
me too. I get so much anxiety when I say no, especially to a certain person
Load More Replies...I wish I could do that, but my f*****g savior complex can mess that up sometimes. I keep re-becoming friends with someone really toxic and emotionally manipulating because I feel I can "save" them.
Oh god you put it in words. Other people do this?
Load More Replies...Yea, always put yourself first, unless it would cause damage to another. Then agin.
I'm from Norway, because Norway am I seeing this guy getting any action tonight XP
when they ask me where im from i'm absolutely saying i'm american't
Load More Replies...I have a nose ring (well its a stud atm but i did have a ring in) and yep, it's probably earth.
I really want a nose ring. What kind do you have and how much did it hurt lol?
Load More Replies...38 and daily anime watcher and manga reader! My nephews love dishing about the latest anime’s with me and I love hearing about it.
I remember most of my classmates watched "Elfen Lied" and all those who complained it would be a kids show quickly regretted that. Blood and limbs everywhere.
Oh, geez. I’m almost 46 and still watch anime. Probably because I wasn’t a high school mom.
Why do they want everyone to agree? If they like the black part best, shouldn't they prefer everyone else liking the cream better so they can scrape it off, hand it over and keep all the cookies for themselves?
honestly I have to keep them together. I eat the gluten free Oreos (they taste pretty much exactly the same) but the cookie kinda smells weird for some reason. They taste better together, or at least with one cookie and the cream
Load More Replies...Come on. Everyone knows that best part of an Oreo is the cookie WITH the cream.
Aight, I'mma head out to the convenience store for some Oreos now... XD
oreos are trash compared to Bourbon biscuits, custard creams or fox's crunch creams. :3
+1 for knowing a philosophers name; -10 for not knowing the first thing about Socrates (just asking questions..)
Can’t we put on Stevie’s “Ebony and Ivory” and eat some friggin cookies???
🎵Ebony and ivory, dipped together in my co-o-ffee.... 🎵
Load More Replies...The cup cannot be half empty without also being half full. That's math.
Flour is actually not a spice. It is grounded from wheat which is considered a grass. Spices are actually made up of roots, rhizomes, stems, leaves, bark, flowers, fruits, and seeds. (Sorry for ruining this joke, I just don’t think it’s that big of an insult. You can scroll down now)
You're right Stardust. But isn't that the point though. She's so boring that no actual spice fits her personality... they're all too... spicy for her.
Load More Replies...if i was a spice i'd be coffee grounds cause i can be tiring or energetic and i love chocolate
My Grandpa and Grandma had two daughters and they all lived in the same end terrace house. There wasn't much space and there were frequent loud and shouty arguments. My Grandpa used to switch his hearing aids off and swore that losing his hearing was the best thing he could have hoped for from WWII.
My sister will remove her cochlear and say "I'm done talking to you right now"
I’m sorry but I do not understand this meme or even know where it comes from and it upsets me every time cause I’m just like “huh”
same as the cat! It's just two ladies yelling at a cat. (I googled it and apparently the girls are from an episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, no idea where the cat came from ngl)
Load More Replies...Most of my apartment neighbors are severely hard of hearing, which results in some excessively loud conversations. Now I'm going to ruminate on whether I'm worth batteries.
I get mine free (good job as they last 2-3 days) but realised Americans not only have to pay for their hearing aids (mine cost the NHS £6000- I'm fully deaf in one ear so this is just for my other ear and I'm profoundly deaf in that one so it's strong model- some people need 2!) but the batteries too! They cost around $10 a pack of 10 apparently so I can see why some people may run out, not only may you forget to have some on you, but may not be able to afford them!
Load More Replies...Yes!!!!! The number of times I’ve said this as a joke. Deaf girl problems 😂😂
the first nine was pretty good and this template is my favorite but this was disappointment
I love arguing with morons online that type "Your stupid" ... I respond with "My stupid what?" and they don't get it.
Ya but AP didn't do SH1T for me except make my parents waste $72 x 2 or 3 each year.. and make me hate high school even more than I already did.
Advanced Placement Classes... Or this a joke? Idk idk
Load More Replies...I get the joke, but a reminder that dyslexia is a thing, and just in general, good spelling does not equal intelligence.
but ADAMENT1O's message indicates stupidity, even ignoring the grammar mistake
Load More Replies...People who don't feel a strong drive to have kids shouldn't be pressured to have them because it is "the norm". The world is overpopulated as it is. I have no qualms about those who have a strong desire to have kids having them, but I object to societal pressure on those who do not want them
"Thanks, as we're on the topic of unwanted medical advice, you should probably get tested for hypertension with all that salt in your diet." Can be a good comeback.
Are you sure you aren't hypothermic because that was COLD.
Load More Replies...They say "this is why you're an orphan", not "were an orphan", implying that no one has adopted them yet and they still have no parents.
Load More Replies...im adopted, and when someone makes fun of me, I just go, At least my parents wanted, yours didn't have a choice. and all of the kids in my class go OOOOOOOO DAYUM
Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom manufacturer.
If I upvote, them in saying I like the comment. But upvoting is what the comment tells me not to do, so to upvote would be to say I don't like it enough to listen to it. But then by not upvoting, I'm saying I don't like it because I didn't bother to upvote. Your comment is a paradox.
Load More Replies......"Male privilege is a myth. Change my mind" I wasn't expecting that ngl.
Load More Replies...I'll go get the aloe vera. Then we can take this person to the hospital for their third degree burn
being trash doesn't mean you cant do things. its trashcan not trashcannot
honestly I feel like trash today and this made me feel a little better, so thank you in the weirdest way
Load More Replies...*sets up sniper* alright. Let’s take out the trash.(who else watched that video?)
As someone on the enby spectrum, I hate when ppl ask m or f. So good on you.
I always say I'm a potato 🥔 and send "nude photos" (peeled) of potatoes when they ask for nudes.
He’s not just like a cloud, he IS a cloud; If he disappears everyone is happier because the sun is out.
I'm confused. So is that a cartoon frog? Is that offensive or something? What does this have to do with microwaves...?
I would say apply cold water, but I think their IQ will do it for them.
Since Berlin is in Germany and we use Celsius, that's even worse than it sounds to an American who looks up temperatures in summer and might find them low enough in Fahrenheit.
To be fair in this case it doesn't matter: -40 is the same in Fahrenheit and Celsius. Didn't know IQs could be negative, but yet here we are.
Load More Replies...I was standing near the front of a looonnnggg line at the DMV today. Someone came to the front and asked "Where's the end of the line?" And the guy behind me pointed back and said "It's at the other end of God's Green Earth." LOL!
I was standing near the front of a looonnnggg line at the DMV today. Someone came to the front and asked "Where's the end of the line?" And the guy behind me pointed back and said "It's at the other end of God's Green Earth." LOL!
