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In ancient times, almost every battle began with a verbal confrontation - two representatives of each army gathered in the field between the armies prepared for battle, and began to shower each other with insults, and the wittier each remark was, the more inspired the warriors would be for the upcoming battle. So it was in the ancient world, so it was in the early Middle Ages, so it was in the days of knights and samurai.

Now, unfortunately, this noble art is almost forgotten, and the battles have gradually moved to the internet. And still, the ability to completely demolish any opponent with just one witty phrase, to make them choke on a retort, remains no less valuable - even if it no longer brings victory on the battlefield.

There's an entire community on Reddit called r/Comebacks dedicated to the most unexpected, impactful, and incredible comebacks ever said, written, or typed. As of today, there are 14.8K members in the community, and hundreds of genuine combo-breaking masterpieces of wit.

Bored Panda has compiled for you this brilliant selection of the most popular and delightful pearls that are likely to have you in stitches. So sit back, make sure you're not chewing or drinking anything right now - and start scrolling this list! Have fun or die laughing!

More info: Reddit

#1

Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

u/zaynthelegend Report

Ruby
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please apply aloe vera to wound immediately

Benita Valdez
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nevermind him being former president, Obama is just awesome with his sense of humor and wit; took everything in stride and delivered several burns. I would love to see him roast people

Dan Holden
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I still can't wrap my head around how Americans voted in someone like Obama, who by all accounts is just a descent, genuine, down to earth human being, and then immediately followed that up by voting in someone who is quit possibly the most loathsome piece of human garbage I've ever witnessed.

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zak
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Between Two Ferns is a scripted comedy, but it's still a pretty good line. That show was hilarious lol

Vic
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely! Zach plays his part perfectly..

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Disguise Doge.
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If Obama could run again I would vote for him

David
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Laughing. I never saw the first hangover movie because it seemed like a stupid premise.

KimB
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The first one is actually pretty funny but after that not so much in my humble opinion :)

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Zoe Vokes
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

From Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis

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    #2

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/OneAnxiousKitten Report

    yeeyee
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This… this is how you answer a question.

    anonymouse
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    they aced this response. I struggle with this and need to learn to stop people pleasing

    BeepBeepBoopBoop
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    me too. I get so much anxiety when I say no, especially to a certain person

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    Illicit
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is so annoyingly impressive.

    aZZy_d3Lta (they/them)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wish I could do that, but my f*****g savior complex can mess that up sometimes. I keep re-becoming friends with someone really toxic and emotionally manipulating because I feel I can "save" them.

    KindredKiller
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh god you put it in words. Other people do this?

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    Sofia
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    - Why do you have to be so stubborn? - Because people like you cannot understand what consent is

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yea, always put yourself first, unless it would cause damage to another. Then agin.

    Sleepy Frog
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    FINALLY a reason for my stubborness

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    #3

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/SlanticEX Report

    Benita Valdez
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Irish I never read that terrible line

    SheamusFanFrom1987
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm from Norway, because Norway am I seeing this guy getting any action tonight XP

    ShaZam Beaubien
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm american, and ahhh .... yeah, I got nothing.

    NH9
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am Pakistani and I am paking up and leaving

    Family Osborne
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I American't with this guy🤦🏼‍♀️

    the shrimp whisperer
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    when they ask me where im from i'm absolutely saying i'm american't

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    Worst Cop in Britain
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You must be from Africa because Kenya not?!

    SilverIsGold
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My girl ask me to philippine up her a*s

    Raine Soo
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That opening comment was beyond cringe-worthy.

    Emma S
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm from Sweden. As in I'm Swedone here.

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    #4

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/keith2301 Report

    Bubblegum Witch
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    mixing up b!tchcraft and witchcraft

    Astrius
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Us gamers hate seeing the sun

    RoanTheMad
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have a nose ring (well its a stud atm but i did have a ring in) and yep, it's probably earth.

    BeepBeepBoopBoop
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I really want a nose ring. What kind do you have and how much did it hurt lol?

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    L. Murphy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's always that damn planet.

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    #5

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/emmersivedaddy16 Report

    Queen Shay
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    38 and daily anime watcher and manga reader! My nephews love dishing about the latest anime’s with me and I love hearing about it.

    T.M.P Janssen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I remember most of my classmates watched "Elfen Lied" and all those who complained it would be a kids show quickly regretted that. Blood and limbs everywhere.

    BatPhace
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oof. But also I'm 38 and still watch anime, with and without my adult children, because I was also almost 16 and pregnant.... So..... 😆

    SheamusFanFrom1987
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not a total anime guy but Bleach was my fix back in the day.

    Autumn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pardon me?? Anime is freaking awesome buddy. And it is d e f i n i t l e y not just for kids.

    Icecream Sarang
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, geez. I’m almost 46 and still watch anime. Probably because I wasn’t a high school mom.

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    #6

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/Vegettowillfucuup Report

    Ruby
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me too. The reflection on my phone is just awful.

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    Helen Davies
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bear spirit... Pissed because someone cut the tree!

    David
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this one seems undeservedly mean. Person was just trying to share something interesting, not blast or shade anyone.

    Id row
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, man, that was harsh, lol.

    A Bobcat From Philly
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I see a shaggy dog face... with a pig nose

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    #7

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/TCKaizer29 Report

    James A Tipton
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'll wear an ugly mask just to make sure you don't talk to me.

    Tanel Saunanen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is some xavier moves. If you know what i mean.

    Klopec
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Very good, the making of a smart a*s here!

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    #8

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/LieutenantFoxx Report

    Ruby
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean, they're not wrong though.

    Scp_049
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You mean the cookie philosopher, right? RIGHT?

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    Sonja
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why do they want everyone to agree? If they like the black part best, shouldn't they prefer everyone else liking the cream better so they can scrape it off, hand it over and keep all the cookies for themselves?

    BeepBeepBoopBoop
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    honestly I have to keep them together. I eat the gluten free Oreos (they taste pretty much exactly the same) but the cookie kinda smells weird for some reason. They taste better together, or at least with one cookie and the cream

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    Klondike Penguin
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Come on. Everyone knows that best part of an Oreo is the cookie WITH the cream.

    SheamusFanFrom1987
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aight, I'mma head out to the convenience store for some Oreos now... XD

    RoanTheMad
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    oreos are trash compared to Bourbon biscuits, custard creams or fox's crunch creams. :3

    James Doe
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    +1 for knowing a philosophers name; -10 for not knowing the first thing about Socrates (just asking questions..)

    Austin Sauce
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can’t we put on Stevie’s “Ebony and Ivory” and eat some friggin cookies???

    Shyla Bouche
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    🎵Ebony and ivory, dipped together in my co-o-ffee.... 🎵

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    Tyler
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    black part of an oreo is better

    Michael A. Brown
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I simply can't imagine one without the other...

    Kelley Gilbert Zumwalt
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The cup cannot be half empty without also being half full. That's math.

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    #9

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/Monjipour Report

    ᶜʰᵃᵒᵗⁱᶜ ˡᵉᵍᵃˡ
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If I was a spice, I'd be onion powder. Stay away if someone ate me.

    scag$y
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If I was a spice, I feel like it would be Old Spice.

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    DennyS (denzoren)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "If she were a book she'd be two books."

    Ruby
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If she was a color she would be gr-eige (gray beige)

    Kel_how
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, I for one cackled at that insult. And almost anything Louise says.

    Stardust she/her
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Flour is actually not a spice. It is grounded from wheat which is considered a grass. Spices are actually made up of roots, rhizomes, stems, leaves, bark, flowers, fruits, and seeds. (Sorry for ruining this joke, I just don’t think it’s that big of an insult. You can scroll down now)

    Diolla
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You're right Stardust. But isn't that the point though. She's so boring that no actual spice fits her personality... they're all too... spicy for her.

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    Jody Whitmarsh
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is my favorite insult of all time

    the shrimp whisperer
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    if i was a spice i'd be coffee grounds cause i can be tiring or energetic and i love chocolate

    Tyler
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I want to use this but I haven't seen Bob's Burgers, so I feel like it would be cultural appropriation lol

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    #10

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/englishsaw Report

    scag$y
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My Grandpa and Grandma had two daughters and they all lived in the same end terrace house. There wasn't much space and there were frequent loud and shouty arguments. My Grandpa used to switch his hearing aids off and swore that losing his hearing was the best thing he could have hoped for from WWII.

    Velveteen Worm
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My sister will remove her cochlear and say "I'm done talking to you right now"

    Queen Shay
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m sorry but I do not understand this meme or even know where it comes from and it upsets me every time cause I’m just like “huh”

    BeepBeepBoopBoop
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    same as the cat! It's just two ladies yelling at a cat. (I googled it and apparently the girls are from an episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, no idea where the cat came from ngl)

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    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Most of my apartment neighbors are severely hard of hearing, which results in some excessively loud conversations. Now I'm going to ruminate on whether I'm worth batteries.

    Alexandra Davis
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I get mine free (good job as they last 2-3 days) but realised Americans not only have to pay for their hearing aids (mine cost the NHS £6000- I'm fully deaf in one ear so this is just for my other ear and I'm profoundly deaf in that one so it's strong model- some people need 2!) but the batteries too! They cost around $10 a pack of 10 apparently so I can see why some people may run out, not only may you forget to have some on you, but may not be able to afford them!

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    NoIdeaForAName
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes!!!!! The number of times I’ve said this as a joke. Deaf girl problems 😂😂

    Tanel Saunanen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the first nine was pretty good and this template is my favorite but this was disappointment

    Aniviel
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm going to have to remember this! Which means I'll forget all about it when/if the need arises to use that comeback.

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    #11

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/_Clex_ Report

    Amy Taylor
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love arguing with morons online that type "Your stupid" ... I respond with "My stupid what?" and they don't get it.

    Chris
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *must resist grammando urges*

    Brian White
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And forgot the period at the end.

    David
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Always proofread your petty insults.

    Worst Cop in Britain
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ya but AP didn't do SH1T for me except make my parents waste $72 x 2 or 3 each year.. and make me hate high school even more than I already did.

    SaneMinotaur (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I get the joke, but a reminder that dyslexia is a thing, and just in general, good spelling does not equal intelligence.

    SapphireKing
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    but ADAMENT1O's message indicates stupidity, even ignoring the grammar mistake

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    #12

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    iholytrojan Report

    TMoxraaar
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Demolished"? You keep on using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

    MagicJacket
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Paging Dr. Cannon to OB-GYN, Dr. Nick Cannon.

    Greenmantle
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People who don't feel a strong drive to have kids shouldn't be pressured to have them because it is "the norm". The world is overpopulated as it is. I have no qualms about those who have a strong desire to have kids having them, but I object to societal pressure on those who do not want them

    Elio
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why do some people think f$cking without protection is impressive?

    Justin Rogers
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Responsible choices...just kidding mine will be 23

    Wednesday
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Standards - as in, I would like to be emotionally and materially capable of raising and providing for children before I spawn...

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    #13

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/Initial_Ad_2133 Report

    DennyS (denzoren)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Thanks, as we're on the topic of unwanted medical advice, you should probably get tested for hypertension with all that salt in your diet." Can be a good comeback.

    What_the_actual_sloth?
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Are you sure you aren't hypothermic because that was COLD.

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    Kelli Pike
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Correct response: "I clearly have no taste; I matched YOU."

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    #14

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/Betty_noire_official Report

    Ruby
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At least someone WANTED me

    Scp_049
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They say "this is why you're an orphan", not "were an orphan", implying that no one has adopted them yet and they still have no parents.

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    Alexander Izzo
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    im adopted, and when someone makes fun of me, I just go, At least my parents wanted, yours didn't have a choice. and all of the kids in my class go OOOOOOOO DAYUM

    yeeyee
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Instead it’s a receipt…. Just in case!

    Fanny
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't get why you were down voted for saying this

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    Rodney McKay
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom manufacturer.

    Amy Semenov
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That sounds like something an 11 year old would say

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    #15

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/waffleonwiifit Report

    Trophy Husband
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If I upvote, them in saying I like the comment. But upvoting is what the comment tells me not to do, so to upvote would be to say I don't like it enough to listen to it. But then by not upvoting, I'm saying I don't like it because I didn't bother to upvote. Your comment is a paradox.

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    Sonja
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But... Reddit has this function. It's sort by 'controversial'.

    The Person
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What did this sign originally say?

    BeepBeepBoopBoop
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ..."Male privilege is a myth. Change my mind" I wasn't expecting that ngl.

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    #16

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/PrimaryPicture6970 Report

    secretly a kitten wallflower 2
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'll go get the aloe vera. Then we can take this person to the hospital for their third degree burn

    Scp_049
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dude, they're still in the lobby ship. THEY CAN'T EVEN VOTE YET

    Sargio
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Ooo" statue on my shopping list, check

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Stoned Doo-Wop group getting into the groove.

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    #17

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/deathdealer747 Report

    anonymouse
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    being trash doesn't mean you cant do things. its trashcan not trashcannot

    BeepBeepBoopBoop
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    honestly I feel like trash today and this made me feel a little better, so thank you in the weirdest way

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    DP 2(DP)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *sets up sniper* alright. Let’s take out the trash.(who else watched that video?)

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    #18

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/MiaTheGachaOtaku Report

    Phoebe Stein
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As someone on the enby spectrum, I hate when ppl ask m or f. So good on you.

    Cthulhu is Alive
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always say I'm a potato 🥔 and send "nude photos" (peeled) of potatoes when they ask for nudes.

    Klondike Penguin
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He’s not just like a cloud, he IS a cloud; If he disappears everyone is happier because the sun is out.

    Hearthstone Blitzen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Plz explain how this convo took place in the future?!?!?

    Tracy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Whomst…haha. Might use that.

    pusheen buttercup
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm confused. So is that a cartoon frog? Is that offensive or something? What does this have to do with microwaves...?

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    #19

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/ellisdude200 Report

    Ruby
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would say apply cold water, but I think their IQ will do it for them.

    DP 2(DP)
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The combined iq of all 3 of you is room temperature.(RG33 chainsaw man skit reference)

    Sonja
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Since Berlin is in Germany and we use Celsius, that's even worse than it sounds to an American who looks up temperatures in summer and might find them low enough in Fahrenheit.

    Lawrencium
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To be fair in this case it doesn't matter: -40 is the same in Fahrenheit and Celsius. Didn't know IQs could be negative, but yet here we are.

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    Nonna_SoF
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Everyone's IQ is lower than room temperature... in Kelvin.

    Hearthstone Blitzen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ~Not me looking at the weather in berlin 👀

    Old Roadie
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Hush. My heels are higher than your IQ."

    Bluebus06
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good burn, but wouldn't have worked last summer lol

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    #20

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/Lukelucc Report

    David
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this is why some people don't think middle school kids should have cell phones.

    Astrius
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    lego gonk droid profile. all i have to say.

    Raven Red
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    wait, so you know who he is?!

    Bubblegum Witch
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The a stands for “ ‘aight ima get some milk”

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