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In ancient times, almost every battle began with a verbal confrontation - two representatives of each army gathered in the field between the armies prepared for battle, and began to shower each other with insults, and the wittier each remark was, the more inspired the warriors would be for the upcoming battle. So it was in the ancient world, so it was in the early Middle Ages, so it was in the days of knights and samurai.

Now, unfortunately, this noble art is almost forgotten, and the battles have gradually moved to the internet. And still, the ability to completely demolish any opponent with just one witty phrase, to make them choke on a retort, remains no less valuable - even if it no longer brings victory on the battlefield.

There's an entire community on Reddit called r/Comebacks dedicated to the most unexpected, impactful, and incredible comebacks ever said, written, or typed. As of today, there are 14.8K members in the community, and hundreds of genuine combo-breaking masterpieces of wit.

Bored Panda has compiled for you this brilliant selection of the most popular and delightful pearls that are likely to have you in stitches. So sit back, make sure you're not chewing or drinking anything right now - and start scrolling this list! Have fun or die laughing!

More info: Reddit

#1

Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

u/zaynthelegend Report

Ruby
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please apply aloe vera to wound immediately

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    #2

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/OneAnxiousKitten Report

    yeeyee
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This… this is how you answer a question.

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    #3

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/SlanticEX Report

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    #7

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/TCKaizer29 Report

    James A Tipton
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'll wear an ugly mask just to make sure you don't talk to me.

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    #8

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/LieutenantFoxx Report

    Ruby
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean, they're not wrong though.

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    #9

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/Monjipour Report

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    #11

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/_Clex_ Report

    #12

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    iholytrojan Report

    TMoxraaar
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Demolished"? You keep on using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

    MagicJacket
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Paging Dr. Cannon to OB-GYN, Dr. Nick Cannon.

    Greenmantle
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People who don't feel a strong drive to have kids shouldn't be pressured to have them because it is "the norm". The world is overpopulated as it is. I have no qualms about those who have a strong desire to have kids having them, but I object to societal pressure on those who do not want them

    Elio
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why do some people think f$cking without protection is impressive?

    Justin Rogers
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Responsible choices...just kidding mine will be 23

    Wednesday
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Standards - as in, I would like to be emotionally and materially capable of raising and providing for children before I spawn...

    Kelley Baltierra
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What's wrong with being 27 and no kids?!?

    Seaweed Vibes
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm 22 and have 6 kids. They all have 4 legs and fur and are way easier then skindogs

    Shawn Barry
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    good partner choices, birth control

    Dani Pret
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    33 was the best time to start for me

    AwkwardTurtle
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The real question is how do y'all not use birth control and have unprotected sex, but still question how it happened when you become a parent

    The Darkest Timeline
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reproduction is not some sort of higher-order skill we should all strive to. Cultures that place an outsize level of importance on people having lots of kids as if it’s some sort of life goal are dangerous.

    Mari Mar Pinta
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I saw this post a few years ago and she wasn't too happy with the 👏 back ... lol

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone should tell @trillageee how to avoid babies. Perhaps she doesn't know she has a choice.

    KombatBunni
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    rehanne garvey
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't think it's fair to shame a woman like this

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    BG
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How dooz yawl be supportin 5 chirren with grammatical skills such as these?

    maddie <3
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The same people who r like how do u have no kids are the same as when someone has kids and r struggling and not giving everything the kids wants they call it abuse like pick one Karen

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    #13

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/Initial_Ad_2133 Report

    DennyS (denzoren)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Thanks, as we're on the topic of unwanted medical advice, you should probably get tested for hypertension with all that salt in your diet." Can be a good comeback.

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    #14

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/Betty_noire_official Report

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    #16

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/PrimaryPicture6970 Report

    DennyS (denzoren)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Vote blue, can't keep a dead body on board after that burn.

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    #18

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/MiaTheGachaOtaku Report

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    #19

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/ellisdude200 Report

    Ruby
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would say apply cold water, but I think their IQ will do it for them.

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    #20

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/Lukelucc Report

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