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In ancient times, almost every battle began with a verbal confrontation - two representatives of each army gathered in the field between the armies prepared for battle, and began to shower each other with insults, and the wittier each remark was, the more inspired the warriors would be for the upcoming battle. So it was in the ancient world, so it was in the early Middle Ages, so it was in the days of knights and samurai.

Now, unfortunately, this noble art is almost forgotten, and the battles have gradually moved to the internet. And still, the ability to completely demolish any opponent with just one witty phrase, to make them choke on a retort, remains no less valuable - even if it no longer brings victory on the battlefield.

There's an entire community on Reddit called r/Comebacks dedicated to the most unexpected, impactful, and incredible comebacks ever said, written, or typed. As of today, there are 14.8K members in the community, and hundreds of genuine combo-breaking masterpieces of wit.

Bored Panda has compiled for you this brilliant selection of the most popular and delightful pearls that are likely to have you in stitches. So sit back, make sure you're not chewing or drinking anything right now - and start scrolling this list! Have fun or die laughing!

More info: Reddit

#1

Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

u/zaynthelegend Report

Ruby
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please apply aloe vera to wound immediately

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    #2

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/OneAnxiousKitten Report

    yeeyee
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This… this is how you answer a question.

    anonymouse
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    they aced this response. I struggle with this and need to learn to stop people pleasing

    BeepBeepBoopBoop
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    me too. I get so much anxiety when I say no, especially to a certain person

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    Illicit
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is so annoyingly impressive.

    aZZy_d3Lta (they/them)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wish I could do that, but my f*****g savior complex can mess that up sometimes. I keep re-becoming friends with someone really toxic and emotionally manipulating because I feel I can "save" them.

    KindredKiller
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh god you put it in words. Other people do this?

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    Sofia
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    - Why do you have to be so stubborn? - Because people like you cannot understand what consent is

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yea, always put yourself first, unless it would cause damage to another. Then agin.

    Sleepy Frog
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    FINALLY a reason for my stubborness

    Gryffindor'sGirl
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    congratulations you won the happy award!!

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    #3

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/SlanticEX Report

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    #7

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/TCKaizer29 Report

    James A Tipton
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'll wear an ugly mask just to make sure you don't talk to me.

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    #8

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/LieutenantFoxx Report

    Ruby
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean, they're not wrong though.

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    #9

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/Monjipour Report

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    #11

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/_Clex_ Report

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    #13

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/Initial_Ad_2133 Report

    DennyS (denzoren)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Thanks, as we're on the topic of unwanted medical advice, you should probably get tested for hypertension with all that salt in your diet." Can be a good comeback.

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    #14

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/Betty_noire_official Report

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    #16

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    u/PrimaryPicture6970 Report

    DennyS (denzoren)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Vote blue, can't keep a dead body on board after that burn.

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    #18

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/MiaTheGachaOtaku Report

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    #19

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    u/ellisdude200 Report

    Ruby
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would say apply cold water, but I think their IQ will do it for them.

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    #20

    Funny-Comebacks-Reddit

    u/Lukelucc Report

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