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Santa, the tooth fairy, and the Easter bunny are just a few of the lies parents tell their kids. They’re innocent, and sometimes a little white lie can save the day when a child refuses to eat anything but plain pasta or thinks that putting on a hat is the most offensive thing in the world. Parents can get really creative if it means that they have to defuse fewer tantrums, and the examples you’ll find below are perfect proof of that. Scroll down to find some of the funniest and biggest lies parents have told their kids, and don’t forget to upvote those you might be using next time your little one tries to test you.
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#1
When new teeth grow in, I told her that they create new tastes. Now she tries to figure out which new foods she will like every time a new tooth comes in.
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#2
She's older now, and knows that it's a lie, but I used to change the name of foods. She didn't like tomato soup, but loved ketchup soup. She wouldn't try lasagna, but spaghetti cake is her fave food lol
#3
Raised my kids to know that parents have to send Santa money for toys/presents. That’s why some kids get a lot and some don’t. At 17 and 13, they never brag about gifts until they know what everyone else recieved.
#4
When their tablets need updating I have to mail it directly to Amazon and we have no clue how long it will take days,weeks or months. In reality they are in my closet and I just want them outside catching toads and bugs. 🤣🤣🤣
#5
Our sons didn't eat cooked onions ( in casserole, etc l.). " It's not onion. It's Japanese Clearfruit." They cleaned their plates.
Luke Branwen 4 months ago
😁 Ok, I'm approppriating Japanese clearfruit. To be fair, I also used to hate onions until my mid-20s. Now I love cooking with them.
#6
That if we saw the moon - it would follow us home to make sure we made it safely. My daughter believed this until like middle school and still talks about it
#7
My step son is an extremely picky eater but very much a foodie. He loves watching cooking shows and Gordon Ramsay. So now every time I try a new recipe, I tell him it’s Gordon Ramsay recipe (even if it’s not)😂😂 falls for it every time! Now he will eat just about anything😂
#8
We told our daughter she couldn’t go to Disney World unless she learned how to go potty in the toilet. We told her Mickey doesn’t allow diapers.
Dorothy Reiser 4 months ago
My boy had Superman underwear. I just told him not to pee on Superman. It worked.
#9
My mom told me that coffee stunted your growth. One day, working as a dental assistant at 20, my patient goes “what’s your fav coffee place around here” I respond with “oh I don’t drink coffee, my mom said it stunts your growth” right then my mom walks into the room (she was also an assistant and friends with the patient) so the patient looks at her and goes “do you wanna tell her or should I?” 😭😭😭
#10
For every bite of vegetables at dinner, they could stay up 5 minutes later. But, they didn’t know how to tell time.
#11
I told my daughter that whenever a kid lies to their parents they eyes glow… now if she’s lying she squints at me!
#13
Told my daughter I could open the car trunk with my eyes. As we would walk to the car I would squint while pushing the button in my pocket 😂
Anthony Elmore 4 months ago
Significantly better than what my dad did. My dad would always just hold doors open for people. Not hinged doors. He would step on the pressure plate for automatic doors for them and say, "Let me get that for you." with all of us just staring on in horror. That man is so full of s**t that he had to deposit it into a secondary container, which is how we got me 😂 Now to my mother's horror we're both full of s**t.
#14
I have a gold tooth because I was a pirate before I was a firefighter. Gold teeth is how we tell each other apart offer retiring from piracy.
#15
We live on a lake and all our granddaughters know the lake doesn’t open until 9am. LOL
#16
I told my kiddos to brush good the tooth fairy is like a jeweler the whiter the tooth the more $ it’s worth…
Dorothy Reiser 4 months ago
I told my kids baby teeth were recycled into newborns so they had to take good care of theirs.
#17
They think the car doesn’t start unless their seatbelt is fastened. Facts.
#18
Some of these are straight savage 😂Once forgot to play the tooth fairy, told the kids that the tooth fairy had to wait until the bank opened to get cash out.
#21
Cows know when rain is coming. so when you see them all laying down in a field it means it’s about to rain and they want to keep their spot dry (source: my dad)
Tyke 4 months ago (edited)
In 2017 about 61% of the uk still believed this... my Dad told it to me too EDIT FOR CRYSTALWITCH60... That is a statistic. From 2017, so yes 61% of people in the UK did think that. What does you being a 60yr old farm lass have anything to do with this? And I did not dispute it being a myth at all.
#22
My younger brother thought that North Carolina was the windshield capitol of the world until he was in college because one time we were driving through the state during a really bad storm and he was a super nervous kid so my dad had to reassure him that we were safe because we were in the windshield capitol of the world.
#24
When my son was little I told him he couldn’t wake me up until the “9s” on the clock, but I set his clock back an hour so it was actually 10. 🫣
#25
We’re in a semi-rural areas so there are multiple wild rabbits around the house. I told my son they’re all easter bunny spies who report back daily, all year.
#28
I’ve got so many but my fave is telling them that Santa’s elves went on a union strike due to unfair wages and hours so Santa has to ask parents to help wrap gifts
Phae Thompson 4 months ago
My mom told us one year when we caught her & my grandma wrapping gifts that, "Santa is sick and so are the elves so we're helping him out"
#29
You can only have so much stuff. if you get a new stuffy, you have to donate an old one or there will be a kid who doesn't have one at all. usually ends up choosing not to try and convince me to buy another stuffed animal
#30
Before my kids could read they thought every fortune cookie at Chinese restaurants said, “listen to your mommy and daddy” One day when my daughter was about 10 she asked how come they never say that anymore 🤣
#31
I told my kids they didn’t like soda, and every time they wanted to try it, I gave them club soda. They are now teens and both hate soda :)
#32
When my oldest has terrible growing pains in her knees we put lotion on them telling her it was easing the pain. She bought it and went back to sleep. #placebo
#33
I told my daughter when she lies only I can see a red dot on her forehead. If she tells me something I think is a lie I’ll look from her eyes to her forehead and she says the dot is there isn’t it. She’s 9 😂😂
#34
I told them I was allowed to sing in the car because I was one of the founding members of KidzBop 😂😂😂
Anthony Elmore 4 months ago (edited)
You're a horrific and spiteful monster. Take this upvote and leave my sight.
#35
Every single car accident we passed was bc the kids were fighting in the back seat
#36
Dead animals on the side of the road/shoulder were “taking naps.”
SouthernGal 4 months ago
Husband used to tell our child that. When they were a bit older, they said, “Some animals pick a really dangerous place to sleep”.
#37
When my son was small he always wanted to go to Walmart. I changed my cousins name in my phone to Walmart and told him to say we’re closed today. 😂😂
Anthony Elmore 4 months ago
This sounds like just telling him it's closed for the day but with extra steps.
#38
My daughter decided to clean her fishy tank and refilled the water boiling hot and cooked the poor fish. We told her he had a heart attack from old age I think she bought it. 🤣 RIP Potato chip
#40
Told my kid I was the original green power ranger. Google home told him it was Tommy Oliver. Cover blown.
#42
If I replay a song more than twice, Spotify will kick me out 😂
#43
McDonald’s is closed. The cars you see in the parking lot are all broken down and abandoned.
#44
Gremlins live in the trees around our house and they get their strength from bad manners. If they get strong enough they come into your room and eat your favorite toys. Saying please, thank you, and being polite hurts their ears and keeps them away.
#45
I told my kid she’d been vaccinated against mesothelioma when she was freaking out about it.
#46
Any time they want something from the store I say “ok just put it on the list”. The list doesn’t exist
Fire Singer 4 months ago
My mom keeps a list on her fridge still, I'm 41 and will sometimes put "present for Fire Singer" and sometimes she still gets me stupid little gifts. :)
#47
My son used my credit card to buy stuff on Fortnite when he was 9. Called a cop friend to come scare the shit out of him. My son is 16–he still thinks we called the cops on him and they just happened to send our friend.
#48
Before I could read my mom would tell me every sign in a store said “all children must have their hands behind their backs”
#49
Blippi is on vacation (can’t watch it today!) and before a Disney cruise we said we needed to call in to report if our child ate their vegetables that day because he couldn’t go if he didn’t properly eat every night and we would do a fake call
#50
My son thinks his name is Wilson. it's just Will. he's 13
#51
If I didn’t want to share I told my kids whatever I was eating/drinking was too spicy for them.😂😂😂
Dorothy Reiser 4 months ago
My parents told us Halvah was adult medicine. They would fake hating it as they ate it.
#52
Dunkin only serves donuts in the morning they only stay open for adults to get coffee bc we’re tired 😂
#53
My daughter in law said her parents used to say “knock it off or we’ll send you away like your older brother”. She’d say I don’t have an older brother. They said “exactly”.
#54
The moms at the town over made Starbucks stop selling cake pops in the morning because they were sick of paying for them before school and now Starbucks only sells cake pops after school
#55
Anytime I don’t want to watch one of my daughters shows , I tell her they’re sleeping. Sorry, paw patrol are sleeping ! She’s only 2.5 and I’ll be the sad the day this doesn’t work! 😂
#56
I’m allergic to hamsters, gerbils, and other small animals that require cages.
#57
I tell him Youtube is down ... idk why their IT department can't get their act together lol
#58
If I didn’t want to listen to their Spotify playlist in the vehicle I would say, “Oh noooooo…..they were singing for so long that they are now taking a break.”
#60
Told my kids we're having salmon for dinner. They said they didn't like salmon. Served it and they asked what it was, I told them it was pink chicken. They all had 2 helpings.
#61
Made my daughter believe she was allergic to alcohol. Worked until she went to college 🤣
#62
My husband is an orthopedic surgeon. My kids think all his surgery patients are kids who were jumping on the couch/bed or running on the stairs. 🫠
#63
My mom told us that the “falling rock” signs was a missing kid that didn’t listen to their parents, and my brother was 19 and asked “did they ever find that missing Native American kid falling rock?”
#64
Target check out, the candy and food in the racks is for the workers to eat on their break so don't touch anything.
Anthony Elmore 4 months ago
"So wait, why are the condoms up there, mommy?" ...I stand by my original explanation, honey.
#65
I tell each one in private and very secretive that they are my favorite one. I tell them they can never say anything to anyone. So they all think they are my favorite one and we do secretive winks when the rest of the sibling’s aren’t looking 😅 🙈
#67
I told my child that if he doesn’t make his bed as soon as he wakes up, his guardian angel will continue sleeping and won’t protect him. He has make his bed ever since 😅
#68
Their mom (me) used to drive for nascar. Also was in a rock band before they were born. Of course I have no photo evidence because I’m so old.
#69
Tooth fairy doesn’t come to our house when bedrooms are dirty…. They still don’t clean it well no money for you lol works for me cause I don’t keep change anymore
#70
Told my daughter she’s allergic to facepaint when the line for face painting was about 2hrs long. That was 10 years ago and she still tells her friends she’s allergic to it. I should probably tell her the truth now 🤔
#72
If his ears don’t seem to be working (poor listening) I pretend to call the Dr so that we can go get ear shots 😌
#73
I’m allergic to slime 😁👍🏻
Anthony Elmore 4 months ago
I... I need context. What caused this lie to become a thing? What events led to your children afflicting you with slime?
#74
My son refuses to eat cheese (insane I know) so I tell him cream cheese is frosting and I put sprinkles on it on his bagels to make sure he’s getting enough calcium. He gon be real mad when he learns what real frosting is. 😅
#75
I was told speed bumps are kids who didn’t hold hands in parking lots.
#77
That the mannequins in the store were kids who ran away from their mommy at the store and now are stuck there forever 😂
#78
When an ambulance drove by our house at nights, sirens blaring, I told them it was the bedtime police coming to ticket them for not going to sleep.
Anthony Elmore 4 months ago
I tell the same thing to the party guests who drink too much during drinking parties. Works every time. Ok, it might have only worked that one time, but it was pretty hilarious that it did.
#79
everytime, he rolls his eyes at me or says whatever it takes seconds off my life... doesn't happen much anymore now.
#80
All the snacks and drinks I don’t want to share have alcohol in them so they can’t have any!
#82
Told them they have motion sickness and we cant go to amusement parks
Anthony Elmore 4 months ago
Ok, seems harmless, but I'm gonna be the stick in the mud this time: You probably shouldn't do this with children. Placebo effect doesn't just work for cures. There's a partially mental aspect to motion-sickness, it's not just a physical infliction, it's also about how your mind interprets visual data. You could actually cause them to develop motion sickness by conditioning their mind to think they already have it. All it takes is a for the brain to respond to particular visual cues with nausea, and nausea can be a conditioned response.
#84
When she refuses to go to bed I tell her she’ll turn into a zombie and start turning green.
Anthony Elmore 4 months ago
That's not a lie. Bad s**t happens when I don't get a proper rest.
#86
Their beloved grandfather died, and I told them that he moved to Florida. I bought Xmas presents from him to them and kept it up for 10 yrs until they were old enough
#87
Told my kids I had two other kids named Katie and Tobias. When my kids acted up, I would tell them that Katie and Tobias never act like that.
Kristy Raymond 4 months ago
My dad used to do the "why can't you be more like so and so?" Still hurts. This feels similar. The girl he used to say it about died in a high speed car accident. I guess I'm good enough after all.
#88
There are cameras in every room. I am always make them tell the truth with that. I say “don’t make me check the camera”! Feel free to use😂😂
Luke Branwen 4 months ago (edited)
Another good way to make a child paranoid. I don't like this one at all.
#90
I told my kid the oil stains in parking lots were blood stains of kids who ran off from their parents and got hit by cars
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Kari Panda 4 months ago (edited)
I had to stop reading halfway through because most of these are just wrong. I won’t trick my kid with lies. Explain, be consistent and make things fun if possible. Seatbelts are mandatory, they keep us safe, so we all - mom, dad and kid - need one. I won’t start driving until they‘re fastened. Brushing your teeth is totally boring, but we need to do it to get rid of Hacky Smacky. So we‘ll watch a kids music video while brushing our teeth (and only then). And the beautiful thing is, the more consistent you are, the less complaints and arguments you‘ll have.
Kari Panda 4 months ago (edited)
I had to stop reading halfway through because most of these are just wrong. I won’t trick my kid with lies. Explain, be consistent and make things fun if possible. Seatbelts are mandatory, they keep us safe, so we all - mom, dad and kid - need one. I won’t start driving until they‘re fastened. Brushing your teeth is totally boring, but we need to do it to get rid of Hacky Smacky. So we‘ll watch a kids music video while brushing our teeth (and only then). And the beautiful thing is, the more consistent you are, the less complaints and arguments you‘ll have.
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