There are plenty of joke categories, but none other gets as much attention as the bad joke category. The stuff that is so bad that it becomes belly achingly hilarious has been known since the dawn of Earth. It has relentlessly followed humanity throughout its stages of development. And while in the prehistoric ages, one might’ve found themselves laughing at ‘ooga booga,’ then as early as the Middle Ages, it was common to laugh at depictions of knights fighting snails. This was probably considered the lamest joke ever, but even after eons have passed, we still find it so bad that it’s funny. And while most of these bad jokes now come in the visual form of memes, the written word still prevails, and we have proof of it - this thorough list of funny bad jokes!
To make it even, we’ve discovered that plenty of sub-categories fall under the umbrella of bad jokes. There, of course, are some lame puns in here and, needless to say, quite a few dad jokes. And with such an array of categories, the topics are practically inexhaustible. So, from fishing matters to teachers and from kids to horses, there indeed is a joke for you, me, and all the rest of the gang. All that’s left to do here is to check out the lame jokes and see which ones you find the greatest. Once the winners are discerned, be sure to vote for them so they can live on forever in the Universe of the Internet. Also, don’t forget to share these silly jokes with those around you; you might make their day so much brighter!
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I got fired from my job at the bank today. An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.
I think it's uplifting to be able to discuss my breast reduction openly among my friends.
I will never understand why manslaughter is illegal. Men should be able to laugh at whatever they want.
My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the National Zoo.
What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics? Oops!
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it.
What concert costs only 45 cents? 50 Cent and Nickelback.
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight. There would be mass confusion!
Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots? He was picking his nose.
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves. Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange." So I replied, "No it doesn't."
Actually there is a rare fungus called sporange that rhymes with it
I tried to organize a professional Hide-and-Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find.
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese. But it's only mild.
My grandpa has an addiction to viagra, my grandmas taking it pretty hard.
They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket. They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants.
I know this is awful, but I couldn't resist! (I'll see myself out). web_photo_...1el0-1.jpg 
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey but then I turned myself around.
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me? Stay out of those places!
There are three types of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can’t.
Three fish are in a tank. One asks the others, "How do you drive this thing?"
What did the drummer call his two twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two.
I'm not a big fan of stairs. They're always up to something.
What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Fun fact: Australia's biggest export is boomerangs. It's also their biggest import.
What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung? The guardians of the Galaxy.
I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, you want to see how far I can kick this bucket?"
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? Same middle name.
My dad's answer to everything is alcohol. He doesn't drink, it's just that he's really bad at crossword puzzles.
What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but its flag is a big plus!
A cowherd counted 48 cows on his property. But when he rounded them up, he had 50.
A chicken coup only has two doors. If it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.
Where does the general keep his armies? In his sleevies.
Why do elephants wear tennies? Because ninies are too small and elevenies are too large.
Did you hear the rumor about butter? Never mind, I shouldn't spread it.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That's just how I roll.
What do you call an empty can of Cheese Whiz? Cheese Was.
I counter your Cheese Was with Cheese Why (it's not even real cheese! It's Chemical Whiz!)
What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
What does a zombie vegetarian eat? Graaaaaaaains!
I like to spend every day as if it's my last. Staying in bed and calling for a nurse to bring me more pudding.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him. “Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out. The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”
I was told this joke once but I t took so long for the person to get it out that the joke lost all it's comedic affect
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
I sold my vacuum the other day. All it was doing was collecting dust.
Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One turned to the other and said, “Wow, it’s pretty hot in here.” The other one shouted, “Wow, a talking muffin!”
It’s inappropriate to make a “dad joke” if you are not a dad. It’s a faux pa.
My daughter thinks I don't give her enough privacy. At least that's what she wrote in her diary.
What do you call a magician dog? A labracadabrador.
I was sitting in traffic the other day. Probably why I got run over.
The wedding was so beautiful. Even the cake was in tiers.
My new thesaurus is terrible. Not only that, but it’s also terrible.
Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it’d be a foot.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.
Who’s there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting c– MOO!
You’re not completely useless. You can always serve as a bad example.
Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent.
What's green, fuzzy, and would hurt if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.
There's no hole in your shoe? Then how'd you get your foot in it?
What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.
What is Forrest Gump’s email password? 1forrest1.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they're bagels!
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Just follow the fresh prints!
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? Because he always gets a hole in one!
Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months.
Five guys walk into a bar. You think one of them would've seen it.
What's the dumbest animal in the jungle? A polar bear!
Why did the man get fired from his job at the calendar factory? He took a couple days off!
I'm thinking about removing my spine. I feel like it's only holding me back.
after the spine removal operation, the surgeon assured you, "i have your back"
How does your feline shop? By reading a catalogue.
I put my root beer into a square glass. Now it's just beer.
I went on a once-in-a-lifetime vacation. Never again.
Who can jump higher than a house? Pretty much anyone.
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? 10,000 soles were lost. The police said some heels started it.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Bob.
What do you call a psychic little person who has escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
What do bees do if they need a ride? Wait at the buzz stop!
What's red and shaped like a bucket? A blue bucket painted red.
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up? Because it was too tired.
Where did the king keep his armies? Up his sleevies.
What do you tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast!
What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits a windshield? Its butt.
What don't ants get sick? They have anty-bodies.
Why are social media influencers afraid when they go to the woods alone at night? They're constantly being followed.
Sunny-side up, scrambled, or an omelet? It doesn't matter. They're all eggcellent.
What did the finger say to the thumb? I'm in glove with you.
What’s the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They’re both purple except for the rabbit.
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.
Have you heard the one about the corduroy pillow? It's making headlines.
When the two rabbit ears got married, it was a nice ceremony. But the reception was amazing.
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta-way.
Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella? For drizzle.
Do you use your right hand to stir your coffee? I use a spoon.
Which hand do you wipe your bum with? Don't you use paper? (I remember this from school.)
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie.
My boss just texted me, “Send me one of your funny jokes!”
