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Just when you think that we’ve exhausted all the possible topics for funny jokes, we pull more out of our sleeves. Yup, as we have once promised, we won’t stop delivering cool jokes to you until every possible topic is explored and all the possible laughs have been laughed. So now it is time we present you with our latest and greatest selection of fruit jokes! Yup, those sweet and tart edible things you never thought you’d laugh at.
Yet here we are! And you better believe us when we say that these jokes about fruits are just glorious. Lemons get their share, dragon fruits get their share, and don’t forget about bananas! Oh, and there’s also a sneaky little cameo from tomato since it’s a fruit, after all, and is definitely worthy of being sung about in these funny jokes about fruit. So, basically, you name a fruit, and there’s a hilarious joke about it on our list!
So, ready to check out our selection of fruit puns and jokes? If so, just scroll on down below to where all the goodness lies! Once you are there, be sure to vote for the best jokes on fruits you encounter in this list, and once that’s all well and done - share this article with your friends.
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#1
Raisin Awareness, Not Just Punny
"I was telling my children about the health benefits of eating dried fruits recently. It's really all about raisin awareness."
RELATED:
#2
Date night came with a surprise snack
"I had my first date last night! Such an underrated fruit."
#3
Fruit: The ultimate personal space hack
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. An orange a day keeps the plumber away. Basically, if you throw fruit at people they go away.
#5
Melon puns hitting different today
What did the watermelon say to the cantaloupe?
"You're one in a melon!"
#6
Math jokes never tasted this sweet
Why can’t you make a crumble with 3.14 blackberries? Because that would be a pie!
#7
Proof that bears know their limits
How many marmalade sandwiches did Paddington Bear eat? None, he’s already stuffed!
#8
Okay, but where’s the jazz juice?
What do you call an apple that plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity!
#9
Peak snack pun energy
What do you call the time in-between eating a load of peaches? A pit stop!
#10
Fight me, it’s a vibe
"You may think I'm crazy for eating ham and pineapple sandwiches but hey, that's just Hawaii roll!"
#11
Sangria sabotage level: expert
"My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added some fruit and orange juice. Now she’s sangria than ever."
#12
Grow Up, It’s Pear Time
What did the papa pear tree say to his child pear tree who was too afraid to grow his first fruits? "Son? Grow a pear."
#13
When tomatoes crash the fruit party
A tomato walks up to a bunch of fruits in a line. He says, "Hey guys I'm a fruit, can I hang out with you?" One turns to him and replies, "No, this is the punch line."
#14
Figured fire season needed more flavor
Hear about the fire at the dried fruits factory? It was an apricotastrophe.
#15
The Great Fruit Debate, Papaya Edition
"My family is divided on the question of imported fruits. My mom says no. Papaya."
#16
Berry good vibes only
What do you call a bunch of strawberries playing instruments together? A jam session!
#20
Piecing together holiday vibes
What do you get when you cross apple pie with a Christmas tree?
Pineapple pie!
#21
Peachy jokes always hit different
Why were the chefs shaving peaches? Because they needed nectarines for the recipe!
#23
Plot twist: Fruit has jokes too
What did the fruit say to his valentine? "I love you from my head tomato!"
#24
This joke just snuck past my guard
Why did the tomato go to the ball with a prune?
Because he couldn't find a date!
#25
Banana fact: mind officially blown
Husband asked his wife, “Did you know there’s a fruit you can eat that provides your daily requirement of potassium?” Wife: “That’s bananas.” Husband: “I know. I couldn’t believe it either.”
#26
I’m not even mad, just confused
"My wife is on a tropical fruit diet and our fridge is full of strange stuff. It’s enough to make a mango crazy."
#28
Love hurts, but fruit heals
I heard a cactus fell in love with a fruit tree. They make a prickly pear.
#29
Plot twist: lime gets its own gallery
"I’m obsessed with sketching pictures of fruit, and I really think I should stop. I have to draw the lime somewhere."
#30
Fruit squad goals
What do you call it when your friends encourage you to eat more fruit? Pear pressure.
#34
Plot Twist: Grocers Are Just Butchers in Disguise
Vegans think butchers are gross.
But people who sell vegetables and fruits are grocer.
#36
Citrus Request Level: Expert
What does a lemon say when it wants a hug? "Give us a squeeze!"
#39
Pun game: perfectly baked
Why did the apple pie go to the dentist!
Because it needed a filling!
#41
Fruit humor that’s honestly too ripe
Why was the peach late to work? He had to make a pit stop on the way!
#42
Classic Dad Move
What did the daddy tomato say when his child was falling behind on their walk? "Ketchup!"
#44
Classic dad joke energy
"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Figs." "Figs who?" "Figs the doorbell, it's broken!"
#45
Wait, fruit can do that?
Some fruits turn into other fruits. For example, wait long enough and blueberries will turn into elder berries.
#46
Plot twist: fruit drama alert
Why did the apples get a divorce?
They weren’t a very good pear.
#47
Smooth and juicy, alright!
What does Matthew McConaughey say when he’s picking fruit? "All ripe, all ripe, all ripe."
#49
Fruit jokes that actually land
What does a pear tree do before growing its fruit? It pre-pears.
#50
When magic meets savage fruit shade
The magician says, “And now for my final trick! I will disappear!”
Then he grabs a pear from under the table and says, “You’re the worst fruit ever!”
#51
This Pun Cracked Me Up
"My friend told me, “Did you know trees drop edible stuff that’s not fruit?” I said, “That’s nuts!”"
#57
Storytime: When ambition meets botany
"Driving past a corn field I planted and told my wife how great it feels to see the fruits of my labor. She paused for a few seconds before replying, "Those are vegetables, dummy."
#58
Fruit certainly did not have a-peel
"I went on a couple of dates last week at the local supermarket. The grocer was outraged, and said I destroyed his fruits."
#59
Okay, this one actually *popped*
"Last night I dreamt I was swimming in an ocean of orange lemonade, it was a Fanta-sea!"
#61
Peeling Back My Genius Plan
"I’ve got a great idea for an orange peeling machine, I hope it bears fruit!"
#62
Grape Expectations: Zero Complaints
Why are grapes always so unhappy? They’ve got nothing to wine about!
#64
Plot twist: Half the horror
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm!
#65
Sweet job, bitter truth
Why is it so difficult to work at an apple pie factory?
They have such a high turnover rate!
#66
When Your Snack Has Crowded Seating
Why did the worm leave the apple? Because Noah said to travel in pairs!
#67
Didn\'t see that one coming
What do you get when you put an iPhone in a blender? Apple juice!
#68
Peeling Out of Concentration
Why did the man get fired from the orange juice factory? He just couldn't concentrate!
#69
Peach, You Didn’t!
What did the fruit say when he was surprised for his birthday? "Wow... I'm s-peach-less!"
#71
Well, that escalated quickly
"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Olive." "Olive who?" "Olive you. Do you love me too?"
#72
Classic dad joke energy
"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Bean." "Bean who?" "Bean a while since I've seen you!"
#73
Love’s leftovers, but still sweet
Two fruit flies are out on a date. One says to the other: “This date is amazing.” The other replies: “Yeah, but it’s already half-eaten.”
#74
Peeling Out of Bad Texts
Ladies, if he can’t appreciate your fruit jokes…
You need to let that mango.
#76
Best Pun I Didn’t See Coming
"I like to advertise my homemade fruit preserves at clubs. Whenever a song comes on, I’ll hold up a jar and yell, “This is my jam!”"
#77
Smoothest fruit exit ever
What kind of fruit do you give a guy when you want him to leave your home? Mango.
#78
Plot twist: History’s actually fruitful
Which school subject yields the most fruit? History — because it is full of dates.
#80
That joke? Corny but true
What made the corn stalk mad at the farmer? He kept pulling its ears!
#81
Melon’s secret sunscreen
Why didn’t the fruit salad get sunburned? It had plenty of melon in it.
#83
Color-coded snacking, nailed it
When do you go at red and stop at green? When you're eating a watermelon.
#84
This joke’s too juicy to ignore
Why do watermelons get upset so easily?
They’re melondramatic!
#86
Peach, don’t do this again
"Two bullies at school keep putting fruits inside my son's bag. I wish they'd leave him melon."
#88
Berry bad traffic day
A lorry full of berries crashed on the motorway. It’s created a huge jam!
#90
When Life Gives You Lemons, Meet Sourpuss
What do you call a cat who eats lemons? A sourpuss!
#91
Fruit salad drama, avoided
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad!
#93
When Life Gives You No Lemons
"I went to the shop today to get lemons and limes but they didn’t have any. It was a fruitless trip!"
#95
When life gives you lemons… go to the doc
Why did the lemon go to the doctor? It was feeling sour!
#96
Wait, my ear’s a fruit now?
"I went to the doctor because I had a strawberry growing out of my ear. He gave me some cream for it!"
#97
Pun intended, and I’m here for it
How did the fruit basket get across the lake? They took the straw-ferry!
#98
Vitamin Sea’s got nothing on this peel
Why do oranges wear sun cream?
Because their skin peels!
#99
When you say mango but mean \"stop\"
"A guy kept trying to sell me tropical fruit. I told him "mango!""
#100
Rolling into dessert like a pro
How do you make an apple turnover? You push it down the hill!
#101
Talk about a fruity mood boost
Did you hear about the fruit that gave people a warm fuzzy feeling? It was a real peach!
#102
Peachy Battles Only
What did the pitted fruit say when he got in a fight? You want a peach of me?!
#104
When fruit midlife crises hit hard
Why did the cantaloupe jump into the swimming pool? It wanted to be a watermelon!
#105
Classic dad joke energy
"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Orange." "Orange who?" "Orange you going to let me in?"
#106
This Pun’s Definitely Sweet
Why was the baby strawberry sad? Because its parents were in a jam.
#110
Math jokes that actually make sense
"My favorite fruit is the pear. Because if you have two and you eat one, you still have a pear left."
#111
Guess love really does start rotten
Why was everyone shocked when the fruit fly’s girlfriend agreed to marry him? Because the pair had only ever been on rotten dates.
#113
Beach bum vibes, but make it tropical
Brown, hairy, and with sunglasses, what are you?
A coconut on vacation.
#115
Vitamin-see? More like vitamin-LOL
Why did the orange go blind? He didn’t have enough vitamin-see!
#117
This joke’s totally un-peel-ievable
Did you hear about the two fruits who weren't allowed to get married? Turns out they cantaloupe.
#118
When Life Gives You Jam
"Help! I've been canned with preserved fruits! I guess you could say I'm in a jam."
#119
Plot twist: not a banana
What's the similarity between an apple and an orange beside that both are fruits? Both are not a banana.
#120
Plot twist: Fruit school is real
Where do baby citrus fruits go to learn? A lemon tree school.
#121
Sour Talk Not Allowed
"I always get my fruits mixed up, but don't point it out to anyone. I don't like being in the lemonlight."
#124
Dinner’s about to get dramatic
Why did the apple pie cross the road?
It saw a fork up ahead!
#125
Peachy Science Vibes
What pie did the scientists use for their experiment? A peach tree dish!
#126
Micro hatchet, major flex
"I always like bragging about the very small hatchet I own. I’ve done some research on it and as it turns out, it’s from the 1850’s and was used in some rich guy’s home to chop up citrus fruits for desserts and cakes etc. My wife thinks it’s boring, though. She says, “It’s just an antique lime axe.”"
#127
This Pun Was Almost Ripe
"My door-to-door fruit delivery business failed terribly because of my horrible interpersonal skills. I was driving people bananas."
#128
Math puns are the best kind of fruit
If Adam and Eve each took two bites out of the apple… They would have four-bitten fruit.
#130
Corn you believe it?
Can you guess what kind of vegetable is the most likely to like rock and roll? An ear of corn!
#131
This joke just rolled in
Do you know what happens if you cross fruit and bowling? A banana split.
#132
Smoothie’s worst enemy
When someone steals a fruit drink, what do you call them? A smoothie criminal.
#134
This pun actually *sticks* around
What did the grape say to the peanut butter?
"Tis the season to be jelly!"
#136
I’d actually try that poultry fruit
What tree produces fruit that tastes like chicken? Poul-tree.
#138
This joke’s ripe for the picking
Did you hear about the piece of fruit that left its wallet at a George Michael concert in Zurich? It was a careless Swiss pear.
#142
Pun intended and perfectly ripe
In the fruit salad world, what is called a messy salad? A “fig-sty”!
#143
Who Knew Pineapples Went Boom?
During World War II, which fruit was most commonly used? The pineapple grenade.
#144
Plot twist: Fruit gets sugared up before bed
What made the plum put sugar under its pillow?
So it could have sweet dreams.
#146
Berry smooth moves
What did one raspberry say to the other on Valentine's Day? "I love you berry much."
#148
Berry pun intended
What did a mum say when she drank her son's strawberry shake? "That was berry nice."
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