30 Hilariously Cringy Examples Of People Lying On The Internet For No Reason (New Pics)

Satisfying ending.

And such a random thing to be proud of

Waitress: ...or you could be cleaning the toilets.

these posts are so sad!

I’ve seen this before, and it still makes me laugh. No way, no way.

Nobody 'turns gay' for poops and giggles.

SMH

Good thing it wasn't the Assistant Principal!

Then everyone clapped and walked out of the theater.

LakotaWolf (she/her)

LakotaWolf (she/her)

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Chili's doesn't have "VIP tables". Source: I have eaten at a Chili's before.

VIP table at Chilis - Now that is a flex!!! Living life in the crawler lane

She also brought him a free refill. On the house.

Then, when I ordered an entire Sizzlin' Fajita TRIO with a TOP SHELF margerita and flashed my super-secret PLATINUM Chili's Rewards card, (only 5 have been issued!) she nearly fainted. A frisson ran through the dining room. A man at the next table made the Sign of the Cross. The Chef emerged from the kitchen, clutching his hat in his hands, trembling.

There's a VIP section at Chili's 🤣

Dame Cherry

Dame Cherry

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Eurgh, hate Linkdin bros

I have long aspired to eat at Chili's - not in the VIP section, only with my fellow peasants - but I still do not feel I have EARNED it. I've yet to make my first million, haven't had an element named after me on the periodic table, and have neglected to win the New York City marathon. So I sit, alone in Waffle House, dreaming of the day I will be worthy of a Big Smasher Burger and a Tiki Beach Party Marg.

Are people honestly this delusional? I've met my fair share of idiots, but bragging about getting table for yourself and your ego.....SMH

Wait, you mean your ambition, your drive and your unmatched profitable skills all had to sit in one chair and shre one meal? They must all be rather stringy and malnourished...

And on the "VIP" table in the corner, there was also a paper and some colourful crayons.

Ew. The waitress was impressed that he had an imaginary friend? I have drives and ambition too - I don't need an empty chair for them.

I bet he needed the second chair to rest his two foot penís on as well..... 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️🤣🙄

And then I woke up!

they were whispering, "oh my god, get a load of this guy"

A little narcissistic, ya think? Geezus.

Cuz people who are setting the world on fire dine at Chilis.....

The other occupant at the table was this w****r's ego.

"K....soooo....table for ONE then"

Should change the headline to "Man Thinks the Undoable."

Barf

I smiled and said "it's not a person, it's people...Barney, Cleopatra and Churchill" There, fixed it for you. My ambition, etc. - who d'fuq says that? NOBODY that's who.

In my experience a table for 1 is the same as a table for 2 anyway.

“Most don’t know what true success looks like”? Buddy, I’m pretty sure YOU don’t know what true success looks like 😭

Deep down this is sad

This lies like a 13 year old wrote it.

I rolled my eyes so hard at this one I think I strained a muscle

"The VIP table at Chili's" is a very weird flex. If LinkedIn became a person, this would be it.

I actually believe this, all we need is an extremely sarcastic waitress (having been one myself, I don't think that's unrealistic). I can also imagine people whispering to each in that scenario, though what they whisper is probably different to what the op thought.

He should have gotten a table for at least 4 so his delusions would also have a place to sit.

he needed an extra chair for his big head?

This one is a joke - and a pretty funny one at that.

My Ambition, My Drive and My Unmatched Profitable Skills are three other people, you d***e. People were probably shocked and whispering because they had never encountered such poor math skills.

So his ambition, his drive and his unmatched profitable skills just need one chair in total? I mean, that's not THAT impressing...

Most know that “true success” means not having to eat at Chili’s and other casual dining spots. We also know that waitresses don’t demand to know where our dining partners are, and that if you tell your waitress you’ll be eating with your ambition, drive, and “unmatched profitable skills,” she’s gonna try SOOO hard not to laugh because she needs that tip to live. This musta been written by a 13-year-old with a massive fantasy life and NO friends. I winced so hard reading it I pulled a muscle in my neck. Having said all that, I can’t help but want to ask this dope what he thinks his “unmatched profitable skills” are.

I feel both grossed out by and terribly sad for this individual.

LMAO!!

Doctor then pulls out a vacuum sealed bag & shows me the ingredients. Me: B******t? Doctor: B******t. And that's how I knew she didn't buy my story.