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We all make fools out of ourselves every now and then. Nobody is safe from that unwelcome sense of anxiety once you realized the thing you just said makes zero sense. But things that leave your mouth, whether IRL or online, do stay there, oftentimes forever.

And there’s a whole corner of Reddit, r/S***AmericansSay, dedicated entirely to the mission of collecting the stupidest, funniest, and sometimes embarrassing cases of people being so convinced they know better when they couldn’t be further away from the truth.

So let’s ready ourselves for the ensued hilarity, ‘cause we are about to have a fair share of it, trust me.

#1

“I Get That Native Americans Are Upset, I Get It”

“I Get That Native Americans Are Upset, I Get It”

reddit.com Report

columbokateUK
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's the most logical thing I've ever heard an American say 👏

Nikki Sevven
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This country not being what it is today would be a good thing.

LesAnimaux
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Everyone should watch the movie 'Wind River'. So many crimes committed on a reservation aren't even looked into by officials.

Mary Rose Kent
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just watched that for the third time the other day…it’s SO GOOD!

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Ella Greenman
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am Cherokee and I HATE when people are like well at least on the rez they learned manners ammiright? I get that more then I should

Sara
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a horrible think to say... :(

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J. F.
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Longest genocide in all of history, just saying

D V
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"This country would not be what it is today if the actions of our past were not taken" We KNOW.

Billy The Kid
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And that is what they meant by that

Kittygirl
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah we are pretty much jerks. (Lol not all of us)

Jen Cook
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Zamunda is so lucky to have such an intelligent articulate ruler.

Mae Mosse
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Former ruler as Akim is now King...second film just out

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Charlie Andronicus
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Round of applause to the last guy 👏👏.

Gay Llama
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My teacher had a great analogy to Christopher Columbus "discovering" America when Native Americans already lived there. She took a kid's pencil and said she discovered it.

Luuta
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lmao!!! What a glorious answer!

Ashley Coe
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

90%? fake news. Please educate yourself. Small Pox wiped out most of the North, and South American populations, over 90%+. If that hadn't happened, we would be looking at a vastly different history. The Spanish, for instance, would never have been able to conquer South America. There would be major cities of people in North America. There wasn't.

Mary Rose Kent
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The smallpox was sent to them by the U.S. government

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lakitha tolbert
Community Member
4 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

ej wey
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nothing good can come of this

Mahesh Chandra Achuthanna
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pretty much how the self proclaimed greatest country behaves.

marianne eliza
Community Member
4 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I have always wondered why Native Americans are in such a bad way. Why don't they go to school past elementary? Why don't they finish school? Move to the suburbs. Get a job. You know. Someone please tell me why... for real.

Frankenfrog
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All the explaining in the world wouldn't get through your thick skull

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Computernaut
Community Member
4 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

To be fair, they aren't required to live on reservations.

Steve
Community Member
4 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Actually, while definitely evil, the early actions *might* have made a significant difference to world history. For example, would the US have enough industrial capacity to supply the fight against Hitler if they hadn't committed genocide? Like I said, definitely evil, but impactful on later events.

Steve
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That doesn't mean the US shouldn't try to make up for those actions now though...

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Truth Monster
Community Member
4 years ago

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Extermination implies intent. Most Native American deaths, barring those from South America, were from transmissible disease, which was not well understood at that time.

person (i think)
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We knew enough about diseases to know how to purposefully spread some diseases. There were specific campaigns to infect Native Americans with diseases we knew they were especially susceptible to, ex: small pox. That is well documented. There were debates about whether we had killed enough of them yet or if w/ should keep f*****g with them and sending them diseased items to kill off some more. :(

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    Sum Guy
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    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

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    Rick
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    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

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    “Not only are they incompetent, but they lack the mental tools to judge their own incompetence,” Kruger and Dunning thought. During the course of four individual tests run on participants, the scientists discovered that “People who scored in the lowest percentiles on tests of grammar, humor, and logic also tended to dramatically overestimate how well they had performed (their actual test scores placed them in the 12th percentile, but they estimated that their performance placed them in the 62nd percentile).”

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    Cath Homer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Homosexuality is illegal in Liberia. Maybe it was deliberate? *reaching*

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    #8

    'People Who Leave Their Phones Set To Military Time Are War Criminals'

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    Rick
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was older than I would EVER care to publicly admit when I learned that “military time” I often heard referred was not some secret, complicated way of working out the time you’re only privy to having served in the army but simply the reading of a 24 hour clock.

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    #9

    Go To Panama, This Is America

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    Hans
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would be tempted to argue that THIS is the virtual, borderless world....

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    #10

    How Do You Prevent People From Jumping Off Like Idiots?

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    “More People Use Imperial Than Metric”

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    troufaki13
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So many (american) bubbles need to be burst...

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    #12

    “He Is (Your President)”

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    People Engaging Me In German Because I Look German

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    The Ambulance Is Not Your Taxi To The Hospital

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    Where Does It Say In The Constitution Or Any Of The Amendments That Eating Is A Human Right?

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    "More People Know About Our Smallest State Vermont Then The Amsterdam"

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    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "SHUT UP ! DON'T PROVE ME WRONG YOU FILTHY INFERIOR FOREIGNER!!!!!"

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    #17

    “We Will Never Rewrite The Constitution”

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    Gemma
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She seems to have forgotten the meaning of "amendment".

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    #18

    Your Haircuts Are Un-American

    Your Haircuts Are Un-American

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    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do not get it. Is "un-american" a bad thing ?

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    #19

    Wishing "Evil" On A Country Is Pretty Mean

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    #20

    Hmmmmmmm

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    Eslamala
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sure, just like "america" celebrates other countries' independence day 🙄

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    #21

    Why Is Munich Spelled "München" On Signs In Germany?

    Why Is Munich Spelled "München" On Signs In Germany?

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    Marianne
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Munich citizen here. I can confirm that we do, in fact, write signs in our own language. We are crazy people!

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    #22

    “...your Hip Would Break Because Their Medical Staff Is Garage...”

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    Luther von Wolfen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know people who have travelled to other countries to get medical/dental care because the air fair and other expenses plus cost of treatment were cheaper than in US. It is literally true.

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    #23

    Do You Guys Have Refrigerators?

    Do You Guys Have Refrigerators?

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    James016
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I keep mine on the roof as the air is slightly cooler up there

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    #24

    "Offended By Our Patriotism, Wattpad Girl?"

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    The Titanic Is Just A Movie, Right?

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    Rick
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Canadians also think Star Wars was completely made up so I wouldn’t worry too much about what they think.

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    #26

    Can’t Compare Those Other Cities To The Us

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    “I Am In Rhode Island”. “Nice, Ever Been To The USA Before”?

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    Star of the world
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    actually i havent, whats it like? *obvious sarcasm*

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    Rick
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

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    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

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    Foxxy (The Original)
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I didn’t realise that the US was global, oh wait, they do have the World Series which only the US plays in. so I guess it makes sense lol.

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    Luther von Wolfen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dad says stuff like this, but not as smartly.

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    N G
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ugh, this doesn't belong here. "Soccer" is a British word. Yes, the Americans took it and ran with it (no pun intended), but it originated in Oxford in about 1890. Americans didn't invent it.

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    (Sad) Mistake A North Korean Flag For A Texan Flag

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    Gemma
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Plot twist: they're holding a sign denouncing Kim Jong-un.

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    But We Can Pock Whatever Doctor Or Healthcare Insurer We Want! We Win

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    Luther von Wolfen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We can pick whatever doctor or hospital we want to be in debt to for the rest of our lives!

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    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

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    "[...]although My Ancestry Dna Gives Me Zero Italian Dna On My Dad's Side, I'll Stick With Being 1/4 Italian!"

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    Rick
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m actually going to start using this! “Ugh, you’re *so* Mediterranean”.

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    troufaki13
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    New studies found that the Sun actually revolves around the US :/

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    Sum Guy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The longer I go through this page, the angrier I get

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    troufaki13
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ever heard of... the rest of the world??

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    My Ancestors Are American And They Came From America

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    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe they are a 100% pure native american with a French surname and the Quebec province is a myth ? No. Definitely not. They are just an ignorant idiot.

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    Marianne
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In Europe, we call this "projection".

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    #53

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    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    China : banknotes and gunpowder. England : steam machines and modern plumbing. France : cameras and vaccines. Arabs : mathematics and astronomy. Germany : cars and printers... And don't get me started about culture, architecture, and arts.

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    #54

    Rank: Military Spouse

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    James016
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I live in a country that has a military, does that count?

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    #55

    “We Invented The Car”

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    Allan Miller
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In Canada we only have wagons and sleds in the winter.

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    #56

    Nates Of Americans

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    #57

    Bidets Are Confusing

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    "Europeans Have Pretty Much The Exact Same Culture And Genetics"

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    Luther von Wolfen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There are bits of truth here, hidden in the gibberish.

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    #59

    “Everyone Should Be Put In The Marines. Now”

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    Indra Servo
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reminder : kneeling during anthem is legal, while using US flag as clothing is illegal

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    #60

    "Healthcare Isn't A Human Right"

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    Something
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There are far more people using taxi services like they're EMS (not by choice).

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    #61

    "Good Luck Trying To Be A Billionaire Over There."

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    René Kok
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your changes of becoming a billionaire are higher when education is free.

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    #62

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    Well They Don’t Have Rights In England

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    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm sure they think the queen wears a black armor and rides her horse in the streets of London, beheading whatever filthy illiterate peasant does not bow down enough.

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    #64

    "I Will Not Comply"

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    Something
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    By this logic, refusing to wear a mask will eventually lead to full nudity.

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    #65

    "You Shoud Put The U.S. For English"

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    #66

    Futuristic Technology

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    James016
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is some real disappointment in that last line

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    #67

    "Europeans Don't Have Culture"

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    troufaki13
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    True. We don't HAVE culture. We ARE culture hahaha

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    #68

    You're A Third World Country For A Reason

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    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    6th wealthiest country = third world.

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    #69

    Forks Are Uniquely American

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    Luther von Wolfen
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They use Britsticks, which are sticks made of metal that have three or four pointies at one end. For soup, they use souptools, which were invented by Oxford don, Reverend William Archibald Spooner. Every male in England is legally required to have "Archibald" in their name at least once.

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    #70

    "I Would Like To See You Devote A Tweet To Memorializing The Victims Of 9/11. Thanks"

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    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, remember a tragedy which happened 20 years ago in another continent.

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    #71

    "Come To America Where Our Dialects Are So Different Some Count As Completely Different Languages"

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    #72

    ”Why Does Italian Pizza Look So Bad?”

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    Allan Miller
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The recipe is in English and some Italians don't read English that well.

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    #73

    Reading Is Hard

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    #74

    If Churchill Was A "Racist"

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    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would, because it is true. Obviously, it does not mean we should tear their statues down, rename their towns and erase them from history, it does not make their contribution to the american history any less important, but they are not perfect gods and we should be able to mention those facts.

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    #75

    "If Your Leg Is Broken In Europe - You're Done "

    "If Your Leg Is Broken In Europe - You're Done "

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    Allan Miller
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And they make the legs different lengths in Europe because the sidewalks are so uneven.

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    #76

    "My Expensive, Frequent Health Care Is Subsidized At The Expense Of Healthy People. I Think It's Great!" Thief

    "My Expensive, Frequent Health Care Is Subsidized At The Expense Of Healthy People. I Think It's Great!" Thief

    neeraj8le Report

    Indra Servo
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Everyone healthy is bad, me alone healthy is good

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    #77

    "You Rarely See Iphones Outside Switzerland"

    "You Rarely See Iphones Outside Switzerland"

    flowchart68 Report

    Allan Miller
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In Canada we carve phones out of wood and pretend to use them to impress our friends.

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    #78

    Only Americans Can Comprehend American Football

    Only Americans Can Comprehend American Football

    unknown Report

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Who is the king of Europe ? Who is the president of South America ?

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    #79

    Please Don't Bring This European Style Socialism To America

    Please Don't Bring This European Style Socialism To America

    reddit.com Report

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Socialism ? In Austria ? Lol, don't come to France, you will get a heart attack... and it will be cured for free, so you will have another one again... It will be an endless loop.

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    #80

    My Son Died From Covid-19 And I'm Still Voting For Trump

    My Son Died From Covid-19 And I'm Still Voting For Trump

    emix75 Report