30 Doctors Share The Dumbest Lies They’ve Heard From Patients

'Oh that!!'

People have forgotten diaphragms, sponges, tampons, etc, until the agony hits. I won't go into what is found in male rectums, it's too early in the AM for that.

actually, it would decrease fertility. citric acid is a spermicide, due to being acidic. And the sugar could increase risks of infection. Don't ask how I know this.

Oh yeah guys sorry I didn't remember I put something there this week!

Maybe she got her animals mixed up. The book is called "The Very Hungry Caterpillar", not "The Very Hungry [Cat]"! (Please feel free to substitute cat, with a word of similar meaning which BP will almost certainly censor!).

My chick needed general anesthesia when she was only a year and 3 months old. She had been without food or drink for hours already and her procedure kept being delayed hour after hour. It was heartbreaking, because when I tried to comfort her it was even worse as she could *smell* the milk when holding her to my chest. And she didn't understand why I didn't give her anything. But I held out, because I KNOW dying of aspiration would be far, far worse than this!

What an idiot! My little boy had a minor op when he was 3, under GA so he was not allowed to eat the night before or drink from 7am. Worst morning, he was fine intially but as the morning wore on and we still weren't called into theatre, he was distressed and whiny. We just cuddled him a lot and he wore himself out enough to sleep. There were big signs in the waiting room, saying 'NO FOOD OR DRINK, CHILDREN ARE FASTING!', I had to sneak off to the nurses waiting station to get sips of water out of his sight - hubby and I were fasting alongside him in solidarity but as I was heavily pregnant, I needed a minimal amount of water to avoid dehydration. And a long came some horrible woman, who plonked herself down in front of my wailing son, who was sobbing that he was hungry and started eating a f*****g sandwich. I marched over to the nurses station to complain and she was tossed out on her ear!

This is a SERIOUS risk. This kid could have died. General anesthesia makes you unconscious, but it does not make your subconscious functions stop. you can throw up in your sleep. The gag reflex is not a reflex that can happen when conscious. You can literally drown in your own vomit. This is why you are asked not to eat AND drink. And stomach acid can also be very damaging too. Do what your doctor says. This is a very important thing to do.

Just wondering. What do you do in case of nonplaned emergency surgery? E.g. someone who was hit by a car, and need his internal bleedings stopped in order not to bleed to death. Do you just run the risk, or can you pump out the stomic content out to prevent vomiting?

Controversial take that might get me downvotes -> parents are often the least reliable source when it comes to vouching for this sort of thing. Usually by no fault of their own, but sometimes quite intentionally. Depending on the age of the child...kids can sneak snacks, kids can wake up in the middle of the night and grab a glass of milk, and kids have a tendency to lie about not doing those things because they know they were told they shouldn't and they don't want to get in trouble . The same goes for the parents that intentionally lie about it, they know the kid shouldn't have had anything to eat or drink, but they don't want to be called out for letting the kid eat/drink, so they lie.

Every time?! How has this happened more than once?

Oh God yes, every time. Same with blood pressure meds. 'You suffering from high blood pressure?" "No, my blood pressure is good". Turns out it's normal because of all the meds they're taking to lower it

If I take medication to stop the symptoms of an illness that's the same things as curing it, therefore I no longer have the illness. Seriously, it's not that hard to imagine how people can get their logic twisted like this.

RN here. I once met a patient who vehemently denied that they were diabetic. Their blood glucose was well over 800 upon arrival to the hospital. Every time the subject of diabetes management came up, they kept saying "But I'm not a diabetic!" Eventually, in frustration with their persistent denial, I ended up blurting out, "Well, if you weren't diabetic before, then you definitely are now." I typically try to be a bit more tactful than that... but damn!

I am a cardiac surgeon. Our patients need a very detailed examination and history taking before surgery in order to safely stop their hearts. It's funny how many times we have this surreal conversation "do you suffer from any chronic illness?" "Noooo, I'm fine". Dude, we'll crack your chest open in 2 says, you are far away from "fine" land! Thank God we have the proper documentation available

Well, as soon as you cut the umbilical cord she's not pregnant anymore 😂

You will be surprised how many teenage girls believe idiotic methods of 'pregnancy prevention' Like having sex in a tree, gravity stops the sperm from swimming that high. Sex education is important!

That's really sad.

"I'm not pregnant, I never had sex and that was nine months ago!"

Sounds like mental illness. I had a student who was in complete denial, though it was obvious to my entire class. She was shocked when she had the baby and told me, "I thought I was fat from eating too many sweets." Smh

Geez, at least think your lie through before you tell it!

I've always kept my cucumbers in the couch cushions and have never once fell or sat on one. Some people are just clumsy!

Right up there with "I swallowed my toothbrush". No, you were purging. Just .... Yeah, just don't try.

Well I've heard of a couch potato, but not a couch cucumber. What was it doing? Watching telly?