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People Can’t Stop Posting Corona Jokes And Here Are 40 Of The Best Ones That Made Them Laugh Then Cry This Week
Coronavirus is continuing to spread across the world with more than 18 million confirmed cases in 188 countries. At the same time, however, the jokes mocking it are making their way around the globe just as fast. People on social media continue to roast the pandemic and by now, it's obvious that the savage jokes are here to stay. Until the vaccine, at least.
Bored Panda handpicked the best viral posts about COVID-19 from last week and after you're done scrolling through them, check out our previous lists here, here, and here.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Tiny Dynamine 5 years ago
I don't know why people say this. More people vote over time, you know.
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Carlos Ferreira 5 years ago
We'll need more then that to get rid of the stains he'll leave behind.
DC 5 years ago
She's right! Please, dear americans, please get rid of that stupid moron! We're natural allies in the clash of civilizations ... the free world vs china ... freedom vs KP of china ... you need us, we need you, we all need us all - and we need reliability!
DropbearPDX 5 years ago
Thank you, and I personally need and appreciate your support!!! Clearly, there are people who do not know that we are all connected, and what happens here affects people around the world. Of course we decide our future, (no one thinks otherwise) but I value input from people who are not as provincial and naive as so many Americans can be. (I have lived overseas and have a husband who is a dual citizen, but I never thought in such limited terms as our fellow panda who replied to you in a really embarrassing way.) And dear DC - don't worry - unless there is a lot of monkeyf**kery and voter suppression,, we have many allies, including never-Trump Republicans (who are the best allies we could ever have! ) Check out the Lincoln Project on Youtube - their main purpose is to put up commercials when Trump watches TV that are meant to drive him crazy and crush his fragile ego. These guys are with us! I apologize for any silly things said by my informationally-challenged countrymates.
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Sharon Hyatt 5 years ago
I'm Canadian.... is this America oriented ? Could someone please explain ? Thank you.
Sarcasm101 5 years ago
Trump told ppl to inject bleach and cleaning stuff to stop corona and orange stain bc trump looks like a Cheeto with his spray tan
Load More Replies...As the number of deaths due to COVID-19 continues to climb, the world is eagerly waiting for a vaccine.
A leading pandemic adviser to the UK government has suggested that a vaccine against the coronavirus will be available in 2020 and 2021.
"In the last seven months since I have been involved, the progress is absolutely staggering and there are now first-generation vaccines," Sir Jeremy Farrar, the director of health research charity Wellcome Trust, told the BBC's HARDtalk program. "There’s probably five or six of them - from the US, from Europe, from China, from Russia - that are becoming available."
Despite the optimism, he also urged caution, saying the first generation of vaccines wouldn't solve everything.
RELATED:
#2
LessaltEDM 5 years ago
Right! Every one of them can teach a whole semester or whatever in fencing! Problem solved! Except for the cost but what is money when children are at risk. Fencing is must smarter of a sport than the dodgeball we played when I was at school anyway.
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Dragonfruit'nrollerskates 5 years ago
Haha I'm in fencing rn and it's the only sport in school that was allowed to continue over the summer :)
Meanwhile, Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, the head of the World Health Organization, said at a news briefing that there was "no silver bullet at the moment - and there might never be".
Mr. Tedros advised people around the world to comply with measures such as social distancing, hand-washing and mask-wearing, saying: "Do it all."
"A number of vaccines are now in phase 3 clinical trials, and we all hope to have a number of effective vaccines that can help prevent people from infection," he said. "However, there is no silver bullet at the moment, and there might never be. For now, stopping outbreaks comes down to the basics of public health and disease control: testing, isolating and treating patients, and tracing and quarantining their contacts."
So it looks like our safety still depends a lot on our own efforts. And memes, of course.
#3
Donny Cromwell 5 years ago
Don't call me a "Snowflake" if you're going to cry about wearing a mask.
Freya the Wanderer 5 years ago
Remember: Enough snowflakes working together make a blizzard, or an avalanche.
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Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago
They need to add “Properly worn” before the word “mask”. Plus mention to put your over your damned nose, you f*****g germ factory! (This is the most exasperating thing I continue to see. Can you tell?)
Mimi777 5 years ago
There have been multiple people arguing and attacking employees for being asked to wear a mask. Just watch the news! I feel bad for the businesses and workers who have to deal with these delusional selfish people. And I LOVE this sign.
Catlady6000 5 years ago
On CBS news this evening, a woman in New Jersey was attacked and left with a broken leg. She is a liver transplant recipient, and it apparently started when she asked another customer who was coming towards her to put on her mask
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Monika Rhodes 5 years ago
A bit but people just hate stupid people- any country. While the stupid antivaxx, antimask etc etc still do their stupid thing- think they're right.
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#5
Celtic Pirate Queen 5 years ago (edited)
I honestly don't understand these idiots. Wearing a mask protects OTHERS from YOU spraying Corona Virus droplets in their general direction. You have absolutely NO IDEA who the people you come into contact with have been in contact with. If you're so sure wearing a mask is some form of government conspiracy, which of course, it ISN'T, go walk through a Covid ICU bare faced. F*****g morons.
Ellen Daniels 5 years ago
If you sneeze, I'd rather the droplets be on YOUR mask. I'll keep my own, in return!
Quazmodic 5 years ago
Actually, the efficiency of how masks work regarding spreading disease versus catching disease are different. Masks are CONSIDERABLY more efficient at stopping the spread of disease by wearers. Their efficiency at stopping someone catching a disease is considerably LESS . So wear your f*****g mask you ignorant, socially irresponsible, self-centered arsehole.
Sarah Laurent 5 years ago
And if I've got AIDS and if we have sex together without wearing any protection.... ... Ho wait ! S**t !
Ram Lastname 5 years ago
Like Johnny and Quazmodic say, the mask is to protect others, not so much you. The analogy makes no sense, in fact; in a car accident caused by a drunken driver, the "seatbelt etc. working" isn't the only thing. It's the mental trauma of being in an accident, the repair, the insurance company, ...
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Audrey Bob-The-Builder 5 years ago
Or, "I can drive in the dark with my headlights off! YoUrS ShouLd WorK FinE!"
#6
Monday 5 years ago
and fun for the kids since they get pocket money out of it
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Denise Taylor 5 years ago
My kid asked "Why doesn't she have to wear HER mask over her nose?" and I hugged the little darling.
Kyana Winter 5 years ago
Those kids are gonna have enough money to buy a house by the time we get a vaccine
Sue Clifford 5 years ago
I am sure there were no coins given due to the amount of masks not worn.
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#7
Pamda Panda 5 years ago
Can we come if we provide proof of vaccination (once one is available)? Pleassssse? I promise we don't all suck and some of us saner ones would also like to not be here. :(
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Music Mania 5 years ago
I'd like to claim asylum please. The people of my country are trying to kill me.
El Dee 5 years ago
Actually the UK is handling it worse than the US. Higher death rate, second highest in the world after Yemen and higher infection rate too..
Alan Green 5 years ago
UK has a much higher population to land mass though. We have 725 people per square mile. USA only has 97 people per square mile so they should be able to stay apart much easier. When it comes to the top 100 countries sorted by population density UK is no.14 on the list USA is way down at 79 *No jokes about people in UK being dense please :)
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DropbearPDX 5 years ago
OMG, I am American and you said nothing wrong and everything right. Hang in there!!!!! I stand with you, as do many bnot-stupid Americans.
Lucas 5 years ago
Yeah... we have Boris. That was never going to go well.
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Aline Holanda 5 years ago
Brazilian too... shame on my coutrymen. (Yes, I'm Brazilian and I wear mask everywhere.)
Daniele Ribolla 5 years ago
I'm of Alzano Lombardo, Bergamo, near Milan, sadly known in all over the world for Covid disease. I missed two in my family, and yeah, we lost an amount of freedom, but a less amount of beloved corps. more sadly, was impossible to hug our deads, suddenly "shipped" to be buried alone, no freedom to hug them. PLEASE, do like us and respect these rules even if they limit your freedom... for now it is the only answer to the virus that allows us not to lose our loved ones. God bless you all guys!
Sharon Hyatt 5 years ago
Thank you for your story.... we should all take heed !
Load More Replies... Pseudo Puppy 5 years ago
It's especially at times like this, that I genuinely feel bad for all the smart folks in the USA. :(
#8
John Smith 5 years ago
I don't think America understands America. (Sorry America)
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b l a n c 5 years ago
i saw a post where somebody said 'my kid just asked me "how are we going to social distance during school shooting drills?" and everything in that sentence is wrong' and that is so so true, i shouldn't even have to explain it
Jibek Mechler 5 years ago
I saw a lady complain about how unconstitutional it was that she was told to where a mask at the airport. She said nothing about airport security
Pusfarm 5 years ago
Oh, the irony! If it suits them, it's constitutional. If it doesn't, whine whine whine!
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jevais 5 years ago (edited)
Excellent! So sad that owning firearms is everybody's constitutional rights. How many more mass murders must take place for Republicans to wake up and stop thinking of the money they make selling guns and rifles. USA is a very backward country. Ramping poverty, crime like in some third world countries, weird medical system; so many women dying in labor, infants dying shortly after birth, a very poor education system for the mass population, retirement pensions so low, that elderly citizens must work until death, it's time to make USA GREAT since it never was. The system should be changed.The Wealth have "charity balls" where a very small fraction actually goes where it should. Taxes should be done according to what one earns per year. Hitler said MAKE GERMANY GREAT!
#9
Kanga9ine 5 years ago
Why do people continue to think and treat teachers like their jobs are nothing more than free babysitting or nannies who are in this country legally, while moms and dads head off to their really important jobs. And year after year it seems the expectations on teachers include teaching kids how to behave, courtesy, etc. Stuff that should have been taught by parents long before schools get them. But the I forgot. Kids are sent to daycare, the preschool, and then school. They've probably spent more time in school than any job. And their paycheck in part, is spent equipping the classroom in the hopes of kids having some fun as they learn. If these parents think it was easy for teachers to quit, then obviously they don't know why we have teachers at all. Facing no budget, possible job cuts cut yearly, performance based on student scores, the classroom of entitled, spoiled, without homework and parents too busy to instill values or respect. Die for that?
Kathleen Blizard 5 years ago
I feel so fortunate that I have the financial resources to quit, rather than jeopardize my health/life. Glad others' same decision forced this district to go to distance learning!
Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago
Hope the school system apologizes and hires back those who quit and taught them a valuable lesson. Hell, give all the teachers nice raises—-or at least spring for enough supplies so the teachers don’t have to pay out of pocket to make up the deficit.
#11
Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago (edited)
Actually, this has been found to be true: Working memory capacity predicts individual differences in social-distancing compliance during the COVID-19 pandemic in the United States, Weizhen Xie, Stephen Campbell, and Weiwei Zhang, Proc Natl Acad Sci, USA, July 28, 2020, 117 (30), 17667-17674; https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.2008868117. (Link: https://www.pnas.org/content/117/30/17667)
FifiPanda 5 years ago
Tell that to my 22 year old former coworker. He wore it beneath his nose.
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#13
Pseudo Puppy 5 years ago
Daria Z.... I'll admit I had to google that word... and am now in love with it!! Bloody brilliant!! :P
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Alex Hamilton 4 years ago
I wear a mask to stop the girls fighting over me, and if you believe that, ..........
#14
Bacony 5 years ago
Or better yet, get a HAZMAT team to scrape off some of the wall of your lungs, and dump it into Trump's coffee.
JimiB09 5 years ago
I could just hear Moscow Mitch yell "what the Hell!" With his jowls shaking as some corpse burst through his window and lands between him and his wife.
Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago
You have read your history well! The Mongols of the 14th century were savvy enough to wage biological warfare, using plague victims, back in the 14th century. (For those who want to learn about this, here’s a link: https://wwwnc.cdc.gov/eid/article/8/9/01-0536_article).
Roadkill The Brave 5 years ago
This is brilliant! https://www.britannica.com/technology/biological-weapon/Biological-weapons-in-history
#15
Kesam 5 years ago
Great analogy, except the fact that Trump voting covidiots are anything but cool.
Monday 5 years ago
To be fair the "cool kids" usually weren't very cool either.
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Cathy Jo Baker 5 years ago
Some of us Americans are out there trying to do what's right! Unfortunately, we're outnumbered by the idiots!
CP 5 years ago
Actually the polls currently show that a large majority of Americans are fine with masks. There is just a very loud minority that is upset about it.
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Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago (edited)
Cannot wait to see just how fast anti-vaxxers run to the doctor to be vaccinated. Would be tragically ironic if drumpf pushes too hard for the vaccine to be released too soon, without proper testing, and it turns out to be more fatal than COVID-19.
Sandra Gramsch 5 years ago
Okay, this one pisses me off. Scientists are rushing to make a vaccine because this is a global pandemic that is affecting people negatively no matter if they cooperate and try their best to slow it down. The vaccine is needed ASAP no matter what any nation does or does not do. The whole world does NOT revolve around the bleeding US of f*****g A.
#16
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
BMW drivers have abandoned the use of indicators a long time ago, the rebels...
Anna Neemus 5 years ago
Dant hate so harddddd you should know we are coming over lol.
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Happy In Humboldt 5 years ago
If your stop sign is working than me not using mine shouldn't affect you.
Marwan Alhussain 4 years ago
I'd assume you're a woman so I'm sure that's how you drove prior to all this...
#17
Isabel Care 5 years ago
Looks so sad after trying to wash cotton candy in a puddle and seeing it vanish
Load More Replies... Freya the Wanderer 5 years ago
Actually this plays a little fast and loose with spelling, but if "racoon" is an acceptable if informal variant of "raccoon," why be picky?
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago (edited)
They also spell Noo Car, which means that we'll all get a Tesla when this is over.
Scagsy 5 years ago
The letters also spell - and few people seem to notice this - croona - as in Tom Jones (sir)
Scagsy 5 years ago
May not be particularly relevant to this thread, but it's out now I guess. You know. Can't un-say it.
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Brittania Kelli 5 years ago
Holy s**t someone tell the conspiracy theorists this! Wait. No. Don’t, they’d probably start slaughtering raccoons.
#18
Scagsy 5 years ago
Too true. If this is the worst thing that happens in any person's lifetime, then they have been very lucky.
Mewton’s Third Paw 5 years ago
No. The greatest economic downturn, highest unemployment, highest loss of life in any American historic event. This will be the worst thing that happens for almost everyone alive in the US right now. The Great Depression and Spanish flu were not even as bad as this and it’s widely accepted that those are the worst things people had to go through during those times.
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WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
Apealing to respect, reason or plain common sense with these idiots is comparable to trying to tell Trump that 150 000 dead people are not a great result and he IS responsible.
Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago
Don’t forget to mention that your grandfather had to wear a gas mask for much longer than 20 minutes to survive those mustard gas attacks.
Russian Otaku 5 years ago
As a vet I could not possibly disagree more... usa has long long been never worth fighting for more so in recent years
Monika Rhodes 5 years ago
But it's Americans who are doing it to themselves... How do you actually do something?
Load More Replies... Felicity Lemon 5 years ago
I feel sad too. Please wear a mask to protect yourself and others. I know that wearing a mask is not protective to yourself but if you do it others will do it too. Maybe masks can be the new fashion trend.
thomas schmalz 5 years ago
I was in Asia for 16 months for my country and got sprayed and rockets shot at me so a mask is nothing
#19
Sarah Fox 5 years ago
I get this is a joke but this and a lot of other one's seeming to be making light of people dying of COVID or losing loved one's from COVID. I think it's in poor taste especially considering people have lost both parents this way. just my opinion pls don't downvote 🙃
Viviane 5 years ago (edited)
Humour is quite subjective, so I can understand that some people will be offended, regardless of whether this is a dig at the Trump administration (as I see it) or at being orphaned by a pandemic that should have been better handled. If it's any consolation regarding downvotes, it's happened to me as well. I'm able to handle it by telling myself the following: I'm dealing with strangers (their opinions are less important than that of people in my real life); I have the right to comment and other have the right to like or dislike what I wrote.
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Chris DiFonso 5 years ago
Nice try, except for the glaring error. Betsy DeVos wouldn't be able to write a book! If she even knows what a book is, come to think of it...
#20
Monday 5 years ago
A depression unlike anything the world has ever seen *hand gestures*
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Suzi Gauthier 5 years ago
My boyfriend & I play a drinking game when watching Trump speak. Every time he uses one of his usual superlatives, you have to take a drink. We tried taking shots but we got too drunk.
Pusfarm 5 years ago
At least it was superlatives and not lies. That would no doubt lead to alcohol poisoning.
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Kris Vandenberghe 5 years ago
Nobody understands depression better than me, I am great at depressions, I'm the greatest depression myself, let's Make America Depressed Again!
Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago (edited)
A beautiful and winning end of the world as we know it. Brought to you by Trump, McConnell, DeVos, Mnuchin, and the other Trump Troglodytes.
#21
TheExtremeSmell 5 years ago
Yeah but I mean how many people did the shark actually kill vs how many people went swimming?People die all the time and those that got eaten were probably in really bad health anyways.
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
And do you know that business people were the first to push for reopening the beach in that movie?
Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago (edited)
Well, the smart ones stayed on the sand and didn’t go near or into the water. You know, like the smart ones going to the store or work (and pretty much nowhere else) dutifully wearing their masks and staying 6’ away from others, while the cocky SOBs wade right into tightly packed (like sardines) crowds of their fellow covidiots who are also not wearing masks, and probably sneezing and coughing openly to boot.
Kanga9ine 5 years ago
You could see who the "enemy" was. Maybe too late, but still well enough to know you needed a much bigger boat. COVID19 is deadly strictly because of the simple fact, anyone will do. It's does not discriminate, it's not a gay disease, a homeless disease....it doesn't care. Trump called it the Chinese Virus and rage towards any Asian rose. The it has brought out the worst in people, and the best. Americans are spoiled. And there is plenty we have to face in our role in what we've turned a blind eye too, or thought someone else can deal with it. We kill our own, we allow others to take and take and take as long as they don't take from my share. Poverty, ignorance, b******t politicians, people who claim to be Christian killing in Gods name. We have sharks on two legs that make jaws hide in the little castle of the goldfish we just flushed down the toilet
Alex Boyd 5 years ago
Honestly, the people in Jaws had a better freedom-based argument that it should be their own choice whether to go to the beach--it's not like the shark was going to follow them home and bite some innocent person who happens to be at the grocery store at the same time as them.
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
It's not the population that makes the difference. It's an incompetent government, refusing to take the lead and give people the means and the unbiased information they need to know why and what they have to do to avoid spreading the virus. Instead the potus has been denying, lying, misinforming, dividing, undermining and plain and simple refusing to take control and responsibility. You can safely say that Trump single-handedly created the mess.
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Sarah Fox 5 years ago
or when the people deciding that schools should open have that meeting ONLINE
Mike Rodrick 5 years ago
Barron trump's school isn't reopening. Apparently, threatening them with no funding didn't work. Oh, that's right; THOSE people are rich and don't need the funding.
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Courtney Christelle 5 years ago
My son's school requires a medical exemption to do online classes. Medical exemption or not, he's doing online classes. OH! And when they were deciding whether or not to open the school they only polled 40% of the parents.
SweetCee 5 years ago
At this point, it's dangerous to NOT have an election...come on people use your heads
Ellen Daniels 5 years ago
Not dangerous to have a mail-in ballot election!
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WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
Oh no? Just watch me. But first I have to walk up this steep ramp.
Celtic Pirate Queen 5 years ago
And yet, people actually think this jackass is doing a great job. He's an absolute EMBARRASSMENT. I honestly wish he would catch this virus - and just f*****g DIE already.
Kanga9ine 5 years ago
Kids don't vote. The ones who survive more than likely won't ever need to vote. De füher will be the first of many and voting will cease to exist, or even matter.
Vicky Zar 5 years ago
I've already said some time ago that the situation in the US reminds me of thd pre WWII time
Load More Replies... #23
Henry Cheves 5 years ago
Your kid goes to school in a Paw Patrol mask. Trades it at lunch for a Spiderman mask. School shut down.
Courtney Christelle 5 years ago
We can't even get adults to wear masks for 5 minutes in a store, how the hell are you going to get children to wear one all day?
Wolfstar 5 years ago (edited)
im a kid. i wear a mask. i see kids wearing masks. a lot of kids.
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chef ette 5 years ago
I just went back to work. I work at a university, the kids aren't back yet but a lot of office personal are....a lunch today, the university vice president attended...without a mask. if the high officials aren't doing it how will they be able to make the kids adhere to the new rules?? asking for a friend.
Saico Hipe 5 years ago
Holy c**p, here in Colorado they're not going to even limit classroom size for any grades below high school, and no mask requirement for kids under 11. There are going to be thousands of deaths here as a result. At least the superintendent of Denver schools said they'd be doing remote learning only.
Karen Lyon 5 years ago
Teachers all over the country, particularly those who teach little ones, have been spending money, doing online training, trying to figure out how they are going to handle this. I know, because even though my district is starting remotely, those webinars cover that too. It is stressful as hell.
Onion rings like to make your breath smelly 5 years ago
In my city, (its in Canada) our cases aren't that high and there would be less chance of students getting it. Thank goodness Canada is smart
#24
Scagsy 5 years ago
I was watching one of the SAW films through my home cinema in my first floor flat, and I get like, halfway through it and there's this *HAMMERING* on the door. I'm like "Argh!" and run to get the door to a rather concerned looking Policeman. Apparently, my neighbour thought I was being murdered (he was very rarely sober enough to talk, never mind make an emergency call - it must have been a perfect storm) so he called the cops. One quick explanation later and I'm back watching with the volume turned down a fair bit. Or. To cut a long story short (Too late! I hear you cry) something like this happened to me. lol
Hollysmom 5 years ago
Your lucky someone cared enough to call the police. A lot of people would just ignore screams, not wanting to "get involved" or just "minding their own business". PS, I know you weren't complaining, just saying...
Load More Replies... ShareMusic 5 years ago
Once I was working out in the yard and I heard a woman screaming and a man yelling angrily. I called 911 and reported it. Two days later there was an article in the local newspaper about the auditions for the Halloween Haunted Field and Haunted House that was located 1 block behind my house. I'm guessing I'm not the only one to call 911.
NurAkmar Almahdi 5 years ago
Can relate. My dad is an actor too for radio. A drama on radio. So sometime he may be a bit too loud. My mum was concerned in case our neighbour might think they are fighting.... every other day... although kind of one sided... hahahah...
D. Pitbull 5 years ago
I am very jealous of this individual... (looking for VO gigs myself...)
Meyer Weinstock 5 years ago
I want one of those jobs. (moves from high-pitched whine to lower baritone) How do I get one?
Audrey Bob-The-Builder 5 years ago
Are you sure the sign is real? If I WAS (I am not) that is probably the method I would use lol
Steve Cruz 5 years ago
I had my windows open on a breezy summer night and heard a woman screaming fo help in the alley. I called the police and so did a couple of neighbors. Turned out to be the first floor neighbor watching a horror flick through his seriously loud, clear as a bell, sound system.
#25
Scagsy 5 years ago
1:Bug 2:Isolate 3:Vaccine 4:Back to normal. How can we not achieve this as a WHOLE F***ING WORLD???
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
Because it's not that simple? Even if there's a vaccine there'll be million of fools refusing to be vaccinated because the vaccine contains a mindcontrolling chip and Bill Gates will use 5G radiation to turn all of us into mindless robots.
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Calypso poet 5 years ago
👍🏽😁I'm friends with JRehling and follow Bdad! I remember that thread!
Load More Replies... Steve Cruz 5 years ago
It doesn't take a mass shooter to prove how much REPUBLICANS DON'T CARE about teachers or students.
Fred and George Weasley 5 years ago
this is so brutal and true. people have no common sense :I
#26
PJ McMurray 5 years ago
Trump losing the election and catching the virus? That would be wonderful!
#27
Katinka Min 5 years ago
It's odd how a whole genre has suddenly changed from action movies to satire movies. I'll never see an old American pandemic movie without laughing myself silly.
#28
Celtic Pirate Queen 5 years ago
Yeah, because surgeons and anesthesiologists just be dropping like flies EVERYWHERE.
SaraFromHell 5 years ago
Exactly the point I've been making! These anti makers are just politically driven mindless sheep...but they call us maskers that! Ha!
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Caroline Emory 4 years ago
I agree-at 69 with lung problems-worked out in the pool using weights for 1 &1/2 hours non stop wearing 3 masks. C/o difficulty breathing- just an excuse!
#29
Pusfarm 5 years ago
So that was Trudeau. Sarah Cooper has a clip where she lip syncs that, but I didn't know who's voice she using. Search for "how to moistly."
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#30
James Mooney 5 years ago
It's rather like declaring an hour a day when it's OK to pee into the pool.
Load More Replies... Alan Green 5 years ago
Great so someone goes in the shop during that hour and coughs, spits and splutters all over the groceries the rest of us go in and buy later. Wonderful?!
Raine Soo 5 years ago
Not wearing a mask during shopping with other like-minded morons? Yeah, that will thin the herd in no time. :D
b l a n c 5 years ago
right? the only issue is the workers are then put in danger
Load More Replies... Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago (edited)
Too expensive to disinfect the premises afterward. Can only work if anti-maskers only shop at stores owned by fellow anti-maskers who only hire anti-maskers—-and locate their shops on specified Molokai-type anti-masker islands (or something equivalent) with high electrified security walls so no one can leave until there’s a reliable treatment and vaccine. Then the island, and everything on it, gets burned to the ground.
Pam Wilson-Hallinan 5 years ago
Exactly! When the pandemic is over - burn it down!
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AndyR 5 years ago
I emphasise that she specifically wanted this for people who don't want to wear a mask. Not vulnerable people who CAN'T wear mask. Even her standards, this is a new low.
Lucas 5 years ago
It was to get people to debate the point for his show, he didn't agree with it. He tweets things like these to spark feedback, stats and viewers. Only morons and selfish fuckwits like Anne Widdecombe thought it was worth considering.
Load More Replies... Carlota Ocón 5 years ago
Yes, let's lock all the idiots who refuse to wear a mask in the same place at the same time and throw away the key
Zenozenobee 5 years ago
You can even bait them by saying it's ma mask-free shopping place ;p
Load More Replies... Audrey Bob-The-Builder 5 years ago
The retail staff can be made up of Karens because " ThEy Don'T SeRvE Me ThE RiGhT wAy"
#31
Lindsey Judd-Bruder 5 years ago
Food service workers, too. Not to mention working like a dog, with far too few people than it actually takes to run the store.
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lillian barber 5 years ago
Karens who say that wearing a mask is "unconstitutional" tell that to the surgeons who reconstructed my knee in a 6 hour surgery
Elizabeth Graham 5 years ago
Chad is doing the same thing - only a lot louder, because that's more manly.
#32
Courtney O'Donnell 5 years ago
https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.cnn.com/cnn/2017/07/18/us/security-robot-drown-trnd/index.html
#33
Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago
There are those who would still ignore it. They’re the ones who don’t even put on the clean tee shirt when they get married.
Tiny Dynamine 5 years ago
Or you've been cutting chillies and you have the urge to masturbate.
Girts Frīdbergs 5 years ago
I didn't notice it before and now I can't get over it.
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Doggo Georgia 5 years ago
Lol me too, why did they have to mention food!?!?!
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Party Poison 5 years ago
wash your hands like you just cut up ghost peppers and you need to put in your contacts
Brittania Kelli 5 years ago
Wash your hands like you just chopped 50 jalapeños and are about to put your contact lenses in.
#34
Corey Smith 5 years ago
I'm pretty sure this was meant to be sarcastic. And are they going to school? If it's that bad outside, what will it be like in the hallways between classes, in the cafeteria, etc?
Mike Rodrick 5 years ago
If you have to practice to social distance, please get out of the gene pool.
#35
Roadkill The Brave 5 years ago
This would work, not only does it engage the competitive nature of people but people are surprisingly food motivated. And "free" motivated.
John Gooden 5 years ago
And the taco bell would force you to wash your hands after an hour in the bathroom.
Imelikoledvõi 5 years ago
It could work. Until some idiot with a youtube channel says something like "free is another word for communism"
#36
Monday 5 years ago
And little Billy is going to excitedly tell you what a great day he had playing "Corona virus tag" with all his friends.
GirlFriday 5 years ago
This happened with my niece on her first day back to school. When her mother asked her how she got the different mask, she described trading masks with four other children to get the one she wanted.
chi-wei shen 5 years ago
Many kids, especially younger ones, wouldn't understand the problem without explanation.
BorPand8 5 years ago
Even if they did understand when you explained it, they'd probably forget in the face of that sweet sweet Spider Man mask.
Load More Replies... Animal lover❤ 5 years ago
A school near me had a socially distanced football camp and now everyone has to get tested because one kid had it but didn't know. If this isn't a sign that we're not ready to open, I don't know what is.
Sasha Kuleshov 5 years ago
I've seen children take off their masks to spit on the floor or plaster their boogers on the walls!
Elizabeth Graham 5 years ago
Well - this Grandma made Star Wars, Marvel Superheroes, and Pokemon masks "to order" so that the grandkids would not WANT to let go of the masks that Grandma made...how well that works....they started school last week....we'll see soon.
#37
Nicola Roberts 5 years ago
Hahaha me too. She's called Dottie and is 9 weeks old.
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Courtney Christelle 5 years ago
I always have my martial arts abilities with me. I keep it in my back pocket.
Toea Muresan Iulia 5 years ago
that is the spirit! :) you can add toothpaste and toothbrush, panties, earings for the young ones
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#39
Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago (edited)
She won’t be such a cocky biatch when she inevitably (and self-inflictedly) finds herself on a long waiting list for a ventilator—-and faces dying before one becomes available.
Jace 5 years ago
Smokers are already pretty dumb. I mean who still doesn’t know it’s a disgusting and poisonous carcinogenic addictive s**t substance?
Load More Replies... Flavia Slag 5 years ago
My "friend" was going to do this.I explained it defeats the purpose....She complained it makes her face sweat...I explained so will a ventilator (i am an ICU nurse) She refuses to wear a mask in my car. I no longer take her places. That's bad news for her. She doesn't drive.My car my rules.
#40
SykesDaMan 5 years ago (edited)
Why is this one so low? It's the only one that made me really laugh, not just smile! :D
Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago
Well, unfortunately, they‘ve now discovered your plasma, and your immunity, have a short shelf life of about 90 days. Here’s the link to the article from the New England Journal of Medicine: https://www.nejm.org/doi/pdf/10.1056/NEJMc2025179?articleTools=true
Daniel (ShadowDrakken) 5 years ago
Who still has a plasma TV? Those things should all be end of life and totally burnt out by now. XD
#41
littlesaresare 5 years ago
The were actually a LOT of karens (the adjective, not the name) in this post complaining that they didn't get free pizza. Domino's responses were marvellous.
#42
Fred and George Weasley 5 years ago
well the american education system is about as functional as a phone with no battery
Jibek Mechler 5 years ago
‘Trump virus’? What? He sure didn’t handle this thing well but it’s not like he created the thing
#43
#45
Freya the Wanderer 5 years ago
Fauci bashers have no business attacking him unless they have advanced degrees in virology.
#46
Bacony 5 years ago
And it'll probably trick the Templars, Illuminati, and the Reptillians too.
Scagsy 5 years ago
Karen: Yes, that's all well and good but what about my Constitutional Right to Smell?
Bhadrika Love 5 years ago
Eh, it's not like you won't lose your sense of smell pretty soon if you refuse to wear a mask....
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Zei Kiljoy 5 years ago (edited)
You know at this point I'm siding with Skynet from the movies.
#47
Suzi Gauthier 5 years ago
Although I doubt North Korea's numbers are accurate, but then neither are ours.
#48
Nicola Roberts 5 years ago
This is true! I have a kitten and I must be building a higher pain threshold.... right up to the point I used hand sanitiser!
#50
Suzi Gauthier 5 years ago
But at least they'll get to brag to their kids about how good they have it because they didn't have to live through the recession AND pandemic. How they had to ride on a crowded bus 5 miles with a mask. How they couldn't go out a play for months (but don't mention unlimited video games). Can anybody think of more?
#51
#52
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
Sadly because of the poor organisation of mail-in voting and the very limited funds reserved for mail-in voting it is doomed to fail and give Trump an excellent reason to prolong his term. Just look at the trouble New York is having with absentee voting. Also a lot of those votes do not meet the requirements like a signature on the envelope, using tape to seal the envelope and late date stamp, so they are invalid. On top of that: exactly at this moment USPS is cutting costs (and personnel) so the votes can't be delivered in time. Funny detail: Louis DeJoy who decided to cut costs now, is a trump supporter and donates to Republican campaigns....
Catlady6000 5 years ago
Didn't Trump himself give him that job, just in the past few months?
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Nathan Jones 5 years ago
You gotta love the idiots who act like the unemployment rate isn't due to a pandemic. They're the same people who were strangely silent pre-covid when we had one of the lowest unemployment rates in U.S. history.
#55
#56
#57
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
Yes, in these days you have to post [Start Joke] ----- post joke ----- [End Joke] followed by the disclaimer that this was a joke, that it didn't actually happen and that there's no way that that could have ever happened or is likely to happen now or in the future.
A Random Panda 5 years ago
Is somebody actually this dumb? I would get it if she was like, 5, but, yeah...
#58
Adam Rindegård 5 years ago
this reminds of when i made out with a tree at school
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Courtney Christelle 5 years ago
But they can't chew gum, wear hats, tank tops, shorts but you trust them with keeping a mask on!?
#59
#60
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago (edited)
That's all covidiots need to "prove" that social distancing is just a farce to test if the government can take away your freedom using a hoax.
#61
Nicola Roberts 5 years ago
Between Google and Alexa I have no secrets. One of you knows if I've just farted. Honestly, I wouldn't waste your money on a chip too.
#62
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
So your statistics are proving we're doing worst in the whole world in fighting the pandemic and you still declare this winning numbers, mr. President?
Load More Replies... WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
A must see interview to see how Donnie is too stupid to get his own stupidity. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaaTZkqsaxY&feature=emb_title
Courtney Christelle 5 years ago
You closed schools when the cases were low and now you want to ... open them back up when cases are high with no vaccine.
#63
François Carré 5 years ago
This. Why would the government (or Bill Gates) bother forcing a chip into your body ? You already BOUGHT a tracking device that you carry all the time and everywhere, including the bathroom and your bed.
Monday 5 years ago
Nobody is going to just give you a FREE tracking device....that's the same logic as strangers randomly giving drugs to kids.
Load More Replies... Daria Z 5 years ago
Besides, in social networks you provide them with more information they will probably need.
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
Including the location of that beautiful brand new car you just bought and now the IRS is wondering how the heck are you able to buy that car....
Load More Replies... El Dee 5 years ago
Your phone, your laptop, your work phone and computer, CCTV and facial recognition, chipped Passports. Using NSA, GCHQ and PRISM to listen to literally EVERYTHING you say on the phone, text anyone, e-mail and your complete search history from the beginning plus the ability to see you in real time through the camera on your laptop/phone/TV To get round the laws preventing them from such oppressive surveillance on their own people the US and UK have a reciprocal arrangement whereby they spy on each other's people and then swap date (really) Your government knows what you look like naked and your porn preferences too..
#64
El Dee 5 years ago
The death rate ie deaths as a percentage of infections, is far better than the UK. Incidentally, the death rate per 100,000 is ALSO much worse in the UK. Trump is doing a terrible job but not enough is said about just how badly Boris is doing..
Alan Green 5 years ago
UK is much more densely packed though. USA has 87 people per sq mile. UK has 725 people per sq mile. UK is no 14 on the list of top 100 most densely populated countries in the world. USA is way down at number 79. The more tightly packed together people are the easier infection will spread. The reason deaths per infection is higher in UK could be because we're not testing enough. The more random tests you do the more people with mild cases you'll find which will bring the death rate % down.
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Gin 5 years ago
Yes! I just saw the video and couldn't believe that this wasn't a SNL impersonation. Sadly, all of this is true.
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#65
David de Fortier 5 years ago
My passport expires this year, and im living abroad. Embassy is closed. Never been so stressed in my entire life.
Daria B 5 years ago
Living abroad, you still have to regularly renew it regardless of whether you're travelling or not. Mine expires in 2024. The pandemic will be over before then, right? Riiiiiight? (At least now we have an embassy, it would be trouble for me if our embassy stayed abroad....)
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
Plot twist, you have an embassy but due to corona you are not allowed in. You have to hand in your expired passport in person at the the embassy that won't let you in and also sign to receive the new passport.
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Dorothy Parker 5 years ago (edited)
Ahem. SECOND most useless thing. First most useless thing has newly blonde hair and blonde circles around his eyes.
#66
#67
Catlady6000 5 years ago
Sincere prayers for the loved ones. Keeping quiet on the thoughts, also on behalf of the loved ones
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#68
Fred and George Weasley 5 years ago
2020 should be the devils number instead. -throws away calendar-
#69
Thunder 5 years ago
My class is split up in two. One goes this week, the other that week. We don’t have to wear masks in the Netherlands (yes i know)
Grace Cho 5 years ago
that's what going to happen where I live, which is long island, NY. But we wear masks and The whole middle school is split into 2 and Each group goes to school 2 times a week.
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#71
#72
Kevin Wilcoxon 5 years ago
The rich will do whatever it takes to protect their riches - even if it means voting for a democratic president.
#73
#74
SoozeeQ 5 years ago
This is a cute idea, but not very sanitary, now that they've been printed on, and rolled up and beribboned. (Do not try this at home!)
Monday 5 years ago
I'm assuming they don't mean for people to actually wear the mask, it's just decorative.
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#76
#77
Kitsune Fox Girl 5 years ago
1. Racist 2. WEAR A MASK 3. It won't make them look like Muslim people!
Downunderdude 5 years ago
Wow. Incredibly stupid AND racist. Gotta hand it to her, she's multi-tasking.
#78
Kady Maree Mcgrath 5 years ago
Does she have sticky tape on her nails to look like she got her nails done xD
#81
Martz Migraña 5 years ago
Love this. I'm rather introvert but most of my friends not. So, now whenever they invite me out I'd be like "man, it's a fricking pandemic! Let's do our part and stay home!!" And this way my grumpy hermit self turns into something heroic hahaha
Bacony 5 years ago
Change it to "in the apocalypse?" because it's probably gonna be followed by Yellowstone and Aliens.
Monday 5 years ago
which will then be followed by asteroids and every volcano erupting
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#83
#84
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
Stop making a fuss about it. They either die of Corona or get shot in a school shooting. To quote Trump: "It is what it is" /S
#85
Kiss Army 5 years ago
And my car... and my purse... and my desk... etc...
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#87
#88
Courtney Christelle 5 years ago
My niece once asked me for a kiss. "Sure, sweetie." Two inches from my face she open mouthed coughs on me.
Isabel Care 5 years ago
That's why I have always followed the advice on adverts "Keep away from children"
Load More Replies... Mewton’s Third Paw 5 years ago
Few things on the planet are more disgusting and stomach turning than a child open-mouth coughing.
#89
#90
Downunderdude 5 years ago
If we don't call the cops for an accidental bump in the street, why do we do it when someone beats the s**t out of us?
#91
Roadkill The Brave 5 years ago
No its not, welcome to the right to refuse, which every business in the U.S. has.
#92
Monday 5 years ago
What about the few good Americans? Do we get them out first?
Load More Replies... Lily Bollenbacher 5 years ago
America should just pull a neverland and float away into the sea until we figure out how to stop being brain dead.
SimplySarcastic40 5 years ago
Pretty much what happens when labs are counting multiple positive test for the same person as multiple individual cases...sister quit her job at a lab when she was told to count multiple positive results as individual cases even though it was the same person getting tested...so there's that #smdh
#93
#94
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
Indeed, your father served the country so idiots like you could go around infecting his mates that served with him with a virus that will kill them.
#95
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
1. If the ship is sinking why is the band still playing? 2. I can't be sinking, I'm sitting here on the stern 150 feet above the sea. 3. This ship is unsinkable. I read it in the brochure. Fake media!!! 4. It's a hoax, made up by the sailors.
somnomania 5 years ago
5. it's a ploy by the poor to try and get better lodgings
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#97
Troux 5 years ago
No distancing, no masks...My god! These children aren't following rules while they are unsupervised?!?! Who could have possibly predicted this?
Roadkill The Brave 5 years ago
Not all school districts are making masks Mandatory. My state let the individual districts make all the decisions on whether they're staying open or going virtual, also mask decisions. A ton of school districts are saying they 'Can't' require masks. It's happening nation wide. There are also a lot of districts that aren't allowing virtual learning period, you have to physically go to school. If you don't send your child to school and you don't get registered as a home school parent, they can throw you in jail for keeping your child from learning even if its for everyone's safety.
Load More Replies... somnomania 5 years ago
they suspended the girl who took the photo, and the superintendent of the school system said the photo was being presented "without context" and that there's no way to enforce mask wearing. sure there is, they wear masks or they get in trouble and are sent home. and there's no context needed, this is a hallway crammed full of teenagers, most of whom aren't wearing masks.
#98
Mewton’s Third Paw 5 years ago (edited)
No it’s horrible for us too. We don’t like people, that doesn’t mean we don’t do stuff. Like go to restaurants, make money, go on vacation, chill with people we can actually tolerate.
Lily Bollenbacher 5 years ago (edited)
Idk I’m an introvert and I’m getting depressed that school hasn’t been able to start.
#99
Csaba Hegedűs 5 years ago
Maybe the picture is off and they are standing in a tetrahedron formation.
chi-wei shen 5 years ago
In this case at least on has to be flying or standing standing on a step ladder.
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#101
#103
somnomania 5 years ago
except now they're saying (and it makes sense) that anything with a valve or vent renders the mask useless, because it doesn't block the particles from coming out or going in, so lawful neutral needs to be shuffled down to the evil level
#104
Sarah Fox 5 years ago (edited)
I wrote that comment and this was actually a good idea, I don't want to create tension in the comments section🙂
Load More Replies... Suzi Gauthier 5 years ago
I'm pretty sure a cat won't let it stay on too long. I'm surprised they got it on long enough to take the pic.
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#105
#106
Henry Cheves 5 years ago
It is not called arrowverse! It is simply called the multiverse!
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#108
#110
#111
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
Stand your ground law: Under certain circumstances, individuals can use deadly force to defend themselves.
Mewton’s Third Paw 5 years ago
Walt! One good thing about the pandemic is it created more time for watching Breaking Bad.
#113
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
It is when you know that the fool downplayed the dangers of corona and had some choice-words on her Instagram live account for the people who did.
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#116
#118
Deborah Brett 5 years ago
NZ has closed its borders to tourists, and is imposing mandatory supervised quarantine on everyone coming in.
Sherbaan Naab 5 years ago
How? If they don't have any cases, how are they going to get them? They could have drunken orgies in the streets for seven days in a row, and still not get it.
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
There's a difference between people carrying the virus and people that are actually showing the signs of infection and getting really ill. You may have zero cases of Covid-19 today and 1200 cases in 2 weeks. So at this moment social distancing is the wisest thing to do, even if you don't have any known cases in your region, and even when you're on an island that still allows foreigners to visit.
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What do you think ?
Parmeisan 5 years ago (edited)
Correction: Trump ate everybody's marshmallows and then never explained the rules. (Edit: errant apostrophe)
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AndyR 5 years ago
Ultimately the problem can be solved by two things - people being responsible (and isolating if there's an outside chance they have it) and governments not prioritising the economy over human life.
Tiny Dynamine 5 years ago
You're asking for the universe on a stick there!
Load More Replies... Flavia Slag 5 years ago
My "friend" was going to do this.I explained it defeats the purpose....She complained it makes her face sweat...I explained so will a ventilator (i am an ICU nurse) She refuses to wear a mask in my car. I no longer take her places. That's bad news for her. She doesn't drive. My car my rules.
Astrid Nineor 5 years ago (edited)
Do you guys have any experience on where to buy (reusable) masks? Amazon and ebay have plenty, but most seem to be against dust/ pollution, which is hardly the same
mph seti 5 years ago
reusable cloth masks keep your spittle in, which protects people around you from you. They're not designed to protect you from a virus itself. This matters because if everyone wears a cloth mask when out in public, there's much less of a chance of anyone infecting anyone else.
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charolette 2 years ago
too bad we had to have that FAKE election. not only doe we have covid all over our country, we have dementia running it.
Karl Mia 3 years ago
Dr.ALUDA God will continue to bless you more abundantly, for the good works you are doing in peoples life, I will keep on writing and posting testimonies about you on the Internet, I was an (HPV and Herpes virus) patient, I saw a blog on how Dr. ALUDA cured someone, I contacted him via email @ draludaharbalhome@gmail.com and also got my healing
Parmeisan 5 years ago (edited)
Correction: Trump ate everybody's marshmallows and then never explained the rules. (Edit: errant apostrophe)
Load More Replies... AndyR 5 years ago
Ultimately the problem can be solved by two things - people being responsible (and isolating if there's an outside chance they have it) and governments not prioritising the economy over human life.
Tiny Dynamine 5 years ago
You're asking for the universe on a stick there!
Load More Replies... Flavia Slag 5 years ago
My "friend" was going to do this.I explained it defeats the purpose....She complained it makes her face sweat...I explained so will a ventilator (i am an ICU nurse) She refuses to wear a mask in my car. I no longer take her places. That's bad news for her. She doesn't drive. My car my rules.
Astrid Nineor 5 years ago (edited)
Do you guys have any experience on where to buy (reusable) masks? Amazon and ebay have plenty, but most seem to be against dust/ pollution, which is hardly the same
mph seti 5 years ago
reusable cloth masks keep your spittle in, which protects people around you from you. They're not designed to protect you from a virus itself. This matters because if everyone wears a cloth mask when out in public, there's much less of a chance of anyone infecting anyone else.
Load More Replies... charolette 2 years ago
too bad we had to have that FAKE election. not only doe we have covid all over our country, we have dementia running it.
Karl Mia 3 years ago
Dr.ALUDA God will continue to bless you more abundantly, for the good works you are doing in peoples life, I will keep on writing and posting testimonies about you on the Internet, I was an (HPV and Herpes virus) patient, I saw a blog on how Dr. ALUDA cured someone, I contacted him via email @ draludaharbalhome@gmail.com and also got my healing
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