Phine Colella
Community Member
2 posts
5 comments
735 upvotes
23 points
This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.
Phine Colella • upvoted an item 4 days ago
Onlypipes reply
This isn't exactly easy to talk about nor is it something that people believe when I tell it but here it is. I died. I got drunk and decided to go for a drive to clear my head, (don't do that) it was a cool night just perfect to have the windows down and I wanted to hear the turbo whistle. It was about 11pm so not too many people out in my area. I took a sharp turn in a 25mph zone at a out 60mph about a mile from my house and rolled my truck. It was noisy, I was bloody almost instantly from hitting my nose/head, rolled I'd say probably 4-5 times. At the end of the rolls I was stopped by a loud crashing sound that was very metallic. The path I took was through someone's driveway and into their garage. I was hanging out of the passenger window, broken bones, blood everywhere, missing extremities, you can imagine the scene at this point. Some part of the door, or fender, or something had pierced my chest. All I know is it was metal. I looked down at it, heard the people in the house scream to call an ambulance and everything went black. The next thing I remember was waking up in my bed, wearing the same clothes, immediately ran outside to see my truck parked in the driveway, completely intact. I walked up to it and touched the hood and it was warm. I hadn't driven since that morning around 8am. It scared me sh**less and I ran back inside and checked my phone, then proceeded to sit in silence and stare at the floor for about 3 hours. No police reports, no news paper articles, nothing. I felt it, I saw it, I heard it. It wasn't a dream and I dont do d***s or have any kind of condition where I hallucinate. I talked to a shaman about it and she pretty much told me I died but got a second chance in another dimension/universe because it wasn't my time yet. I've had chills the whole time typing this, really freaks me out lol. Phine Colella • upvoted 6 items 1 week ago
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Phine Colella • upvoted an item 2 weeks ago
Northmech reply
A friend of a friend was shopping and had her kid with her. As they walked by the feminine products aisle her 6 yr old son asked her very loudly if she needed to get another big box of v*gina diapers because Dad says you bleed like a stuck pig. I was crying I was laughing so hard. When she seen me and my friend standing there she went ten shades of red. Phine Colella • upvoted an item 3 weeks ago
Phine Colella • upvoted 5 items 1 month ago
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Phine Colella • upvoted 5 items 2 months ago
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Phine Colella • upvoted 15 items 3 months ago
volume_two reply
That if you unraveled all of the DNA in your body, and stretched it out in a straight line, you'd be dead.annang reply
Being a morning person and getting up early to get a bunch of stuff done, then going to bed early, is considered virtuous and mature. Being a night person and staying up late to get stuff done, then sleeping late the next day, is considered disorganized and lazy. Even if you did the same amount of work and slept the same number of hours. I have colleagues who work 6am to 3pm, and people constantly chirp about how efficient they are. But when someone at my office asked if they could work 11 am to 8 pm because that fit better with their body’s energy cycle, they were mocked for wanting to oversleep like a teenager, and the request was denied.volume_two reply
That if you unraveled all of the DNA in your body, and stretched it out in a straight line, you'd be dead.annang reply
Being a morning person and getting up early to get a bunch of stuff done, then going to bed early, is considered virtuous and mature. Being a night person and staying up late to get stuff done, then sleeping late the next day, is considered disorganized and lazy. Even if you did the same amount of work and slept the same number of hours. I have colleagues who work 6am to 3pm, and people constantly chirp about how efficient they are. But when someone at my office asked if they could work 11 am to 8 pm because that fit better with their body’s energy cycle, they were mocked for wanting to oversleep like a teenager, and the request was denied.Lookslikeseen reply
You’ll regularly see someone who needs to hide push aside a ceiling panel and climb up, then have a well framed shot of their face up above while they slide the panel back over covering their escape. You can’t do that. Those panels are fragile enough you can break them with one hand. The cheap ones are literally fiberglass insulation with a sheet of paper glued to the face. The scene from The Office with Angela’s cat is what would actually happen.ToxicTaxiTaker reply
45 people, a group exactly one shy of the entire adult male population, sitting in lawn chairs, on a fence, and on car hoods... They were patiently waiting outside of the house of the 46th adult male, who had hit his child hard enough to fracture a rib earlier that day, and was known to smack his wife around a bit.. The best part of the story was when he threatened to call the police chief. "If you don't all leave, I'm calling Georgie!" (Chief) Georgie quickly replied from near the guy's back door... "Present!" I didn't get to witness the beating itself, apparently it happened a couple of days later. But he definitely spent the whole night in terror.Even_Ad_8286 reply
I was flying Air New Zealand once and when I got up to the counter they told me the flight was overbooked. I was polite and just asked when the next available flight would be, their response was "we can pop you in business class instead" Next guy in line lost his bottle and was bumped to the next flight. I've never once seen somebody being rude help them achieve their desired outcome.Show All 15 Upvotes
Phine Colella • upvoted 6 items 4 months ago
dont-ask-how-i-know-random-facts
A pigeon will only eat a Starburst if you chew it up a little bit first. Just to clarify chew the Starburst not the pigeon.Show All 6 Upvotes
Phine Colella • submitted 2 new posts 2 years ago
Phine Colella • submitted 3 list additions 2 years ago
Phine Colella • commented on 5 posts 2 years ago
Phine Colella • upvoted an item 2 days ago
Onlypipes reply
This isn't exactly easy to talk about nor is it something that people believe when I tell it but here it is. I died. I got drunk and decided to go for a drive to clear my head, (don't do that) it was a cool night just perfect to have the windows down and I wanted to hear the turbo whistle. It was about 11pm so not too many people out in my area. I took a sharp turn in a 25mph zone at a out 60mph about a mile from my house and rolled my truck. It was noisy, I was bloody almost instantly from hitting my nose/head, rolled I'd say probably 4-5 times. At the end of the rolls I was stopped by a loud crashing sound that was very metallic. The path I took was through someone's driveway and into their garage. I was hanging out of the passenger window, broken bones, blood everywhere, missing extremities, you can imagine the scene at this point. Some part of the door, or fender, or something had pierced my chest. All I know is it was metal. I looked down at it, heard the people in the house scream to call an ambulance and everything went black. The next thing I remember was waking up in my bed, wearing the same clothes, immediately ran outside to see my truck parked in the driveway, completely intact. I walked up to it and touched the hood and it was warm. I hadn't driven since that morning around 8am. It scared me sh**less and I ran back inside and checked my phone, then proceeded to sit in silence and stare at the floor for about 3 hours. No police reports, no news paper articles, nothing. I felt it, I saw it, I heard it. It wasn't a dream and I dont do d***s or have any kind of condition where I hallucinate. I talked to a shaman about it and she pretty much told me I died but got a second chance in another dimension/universe because it wasn't my time yet. I've had chills the whole time typing this, really freaks me out lol. Phine Colella • upvoted 3 items 1 week ago
Phine Colella • upvoted 3 items 2 weeks ago
Northmech reply
A friend of a friend was shopping and had her kid with her. As they walked by the feminine products aisle her 6 yr old son asked her very loudly if she needed to get another big box of v*gina diapers because Dad says you bleed like a stuck pig. I was crying I was laughing so hard. When she seen me and my friend standing there she went ten shades of red. Phine Colella • upvoted 4 items 1 month ago
Phine Colella • upvoted 6 items 2 months ago
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