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Seeing a good clapback is always satisfying. It's witty, has an element of justice, and can defend against unnecessary insults. The funnier it is, though, the more effective. We don't only want justice, we want to make the comeback sting more with a joke.

There is an X (Twitter) page that collects this sort of humor. People online say all sorts of things. And there's no shortage of wannabe comedians or just people with a well-developed funny bone online as well. Clever Comebacks is the place where one can find some witty roasts. So we invite you to scroll through our selection from this X page and tell us your own stories of clapping back in style.

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Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Already done thanks to Obama. Seriously my roommate is diabetic and when he got on ACA his insulin went from $500 per month to $50 per month. He literally cried he was so happy.

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How many of us would want to be able to come up with witty comebacks on the spot? How often do most of us wonder how to clap back in the moment? Not an hour, a day, or a week later. The secret to a great comeback, according to a theater artistic director, is focusing, really focusing, on what the other person is saying.

Abigail Paul, the artistic director at the Theatre Language Studio (TLS) in Frankfurt, told the BBC in 2016 that you can't really plan a good comeback. It's like improv on stage in that regard – you work with what the other person is giving you. Paul claims that people think faster than other people speak. That gives them time to come up with a witty answer.

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Rizzo
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Looks like someone got their history knowledge from the Flintstones. ;)

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Paul says good listening skills come in handy when coming up with a clever comeback. For those who want to hone their listening skills, she suggests a simple game of one-word volleyball. Two people build a story by quickly adding a word as a response to what the other person just said. 

She uses the same technique when teaching improvisation theater. "The goal is that we let go of our own ego and our own ideas because a huge part of listening is that you really have to be willing to be changed by what's being said," Paul told the BBC.

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cugel.
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4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason. II The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions. III One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone. IV The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one's own. V Beliefs should conform to one's best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one's beliefs. VI People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused. VII Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.

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Adele Maestranzi
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

True. I live in Salem and they are up the street here. They say right out that they do not.

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Lynn Morello
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not quite necessary, You at least have to believe that God Exists, to believe that Satan Exists.

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Moo
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

...Yeah duh? I love the work that these people do, but since I do believe in God, and therefore believes the devil does literally exist, I do hate the name and symbolism of it. I understand they do it for the sole purpose of going against hyper conservative Christian ideals, to make Christians go crazy, but as a progressive Christian myself, while I agree with the work, I just can't stand the name. It makes me sad that such an evil being is given a platform by people who don't believe in it. Please don't downvote me, I'm just voicing my opinion, I'm not attacking anyone

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Margaret Weaver
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, for that I upvote you. The meaning you ascribe to this mythical being may not be what it actually means, but my family still refers to "good Germans" so I do understand. Be well, Moo.

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SlayQueen
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1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm two days into college And I'm three lectures behind There's this guy, let's name him Colin He says he wants to be mine But it doesn't really sit with me quite right 'Cause he doesn't really like the things I like And I keep accidentally locking myself out of my dorm in the middle of the night

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Wheelchair athlete
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The vast majority of "Satanists" are satirical atheists highlighting the problems with Christianity

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Bella Langston
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Huh… so people equate believing in the existence of to the worship thereof? Seems non sequitur. How is that a comeback?

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Margaret Weaver
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4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because the conviction of his existence is the very crux of the faith that stands resolute in the absence of proof, and in contravention to laws of physics we *can* prove. Faith is not the act of replying when the wallpaper is talking to you, but the conviction that wallpaper can speak. A self-identifying agnostic is not ignorant of god, but of a sufficient level of physics to understand no such being *can* exist. Resurrection, flying angels, a woman transforming into salt, flying reindeer, a rabbit hiding coloured eggs, all of it. Marvelous stories full of wonder each, mind you, but so were Middle Earth and Narnia. One can love the tales of Moria without believing Morgoth actually existed. Once you do believe Morgoth was or is real, your choice to worship him or not, is moot.

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Pirate Luxe
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hell and the Devil are Roman Catholic creations.... You all are such suckers.

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People begin hearing insults thrown at them in childhood. Although at that age they might seem insignificant, a child should know how to react properly. Psychiatrist Suzanne Bender, M.D., writes for Psychology Today that ignoring the other person doesn't always work. "Rude remarks without any pushback may continue, or even escalate," she added.

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Agreeing with the offender might work. But children should do so with humor. If a kid tells another child "You look like a grape in this shirt", the kid might retort with "Well, I love grapes and couldn’t be prouder to represent this fruit." Yet the problem with this is that it requires verbal agility and to think on one's feet. 

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Spidercat
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He cancelled the whole human race with a flood a few chapters later...

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Jeff White
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And Polio, Ruebella, Measles, Pertussis, hell even Chicken Pox. Before a vaccine became available, approximately 100 US children, died each year from Chicken Pox.

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Spidercat
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Get lost in a grocery store situated in a an ethnically diverse neighbourhood while trying to steal spices."....There, fixed it.

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However,children can practice and enhance their verbal agility. Bender suggests parents roleplay with their kids. That way, the child can take turns to be both the aggressor and the responder. Practicing these types of situations might increase the kid's confidence. Next time, they might have a clever comeback prepared, and that's incredibly empowering to a young child.

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Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also the left isn''t the one hoarding guns and ammo and preparing for a new civil war. We don't want war and bloodshed. That's kind of our thing.

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What's interesting is that "the battle of wits" is not an invention of social media. Pamela Druckerman writes for The New York Times about the movie "Ridicule", which examines the social injustices of late 18th-century France. It portrays French aristocrats as having a never-ending battle of wits.

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Nonna_SoF
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Alright, so since no pastor alive today witnessed the s**t they preach about they're all false witnesses and therefore broke the 9th commandment.

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The film is set on the eve of the French Revolution, and shows the corruption and callousness of the aristocrats. Those who were able to make their rivals look ridiculous, possessed 'esprit.' As Merriam Webster defines it, the term means 'vivacious cleverness or wit.' The movie’s tagline is this: "Wit opens every door."

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Jeff White
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Regardless of the man / woman context, this is the best response of all.

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Druckerman likens this order of society to her daughter's playground. You and everyone around you is in a competition not to look ridiculous. "When my daughter complained that a boy had insulted her during recess, I counseled her to forget about it," Druckerman writes. "She said that just wouldn't do: To save face, she had to humiliate him."

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LakotaWolf (she/her)
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4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not to mention that just because two people of biologically opposite genders (male and female) have sex and conceive, that does NOT mean those people are or were “straight”. Bisexual people exist. Pansexual people exist. And non-binary people exist. And genderfluid people exist. Many people are capable of conceiving a child. Having sex that results in pregnancy does not automatically make the genetically-contributing parties “straight”.

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So if we're doomed to always be on our toes and have witty comebacks ready on the go, how do we make them land? Belina Raffy, a business improvisation consultant, told the BBC that it's best to respond to an insult in a positive way. She says that toxic banter turns the environment sour for every employee.

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Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Europeans didn't colonize America, they conquered it by committing genocide on the people who were already here.

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Instead of being mean, says Raffy, try to reveal the "ridiculousness of the situation" and don't make the antagonist the bad guy. It's best to turn them into the "victim" of the circumstances. What are some examples? "If a colleague says, 'This project is going nowhere fast,' you could say, 'At least it's going and I intend to steer it in the right direction,'" Raffy suggests.

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Debbie
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I still find this one funny. Honest and I bet Paul Felder also had to laugh about the response.

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Spidercat
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Aaah yes, the socialist funding structure of the US Army and the USPS.... Shhhh...don't tell the GOP.

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SM
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The economics of government is just way above some people's heads... Actually, so is regular economics!

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Roxy222uk
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Have you seen the size of those garages, too? Those are wealthy people.

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Clown fish
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4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe if you cover your face with a mask you might get some action to

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Jeff White
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the OP is a functional something, but BoredPanda doesn't allow bad words ...

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Helena
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For the original question. Because it is my last name. You don't need another reason.

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Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kevin Sorbo is the guy famous for playing Hercules in the '90s TV series. He has since gone a little funny in the head and believes some very strange things.

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Jeff White
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Uh oh, you're trying to use sense or logic on a vaccine denier? It is astounding how ineffective that method is (although "I" think your example is brilliant). Well done.

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