Have you ever thought of the best comeback only after it was too late? Right before bed, while taking a shower or standing in an elevator, you get your light-bulb moment: “Ahh, why didn't I think of it before?” The French even came up with a term for that, l'esprit de l'escalier—the spirit of the staircase—and it means that the perfect retort arises only when it doesn't matter anymore.
However, this does not apply to everyone. A select few have the superpower of coming up with snappy one-liners on the spot, and the r/CleverComebacks subreddit is the site to go for these legendary comments. As the moderators put it, “If someone just got shown up, this is the place to post it.“
So make sure to scroll down and upvote your favorite retorts! And if you can't get enough of snappy comebacks, make sure to check out Bored Panda's previous posts here, here and here.
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He Was Asking For It!
If you'd like to share a post on the “Clever Comebacks“ subreddit page, there's a few rules you need to follow. Firstly, you should know what a witty comment is. According to the moderators, it's “responses to someone that, for lack of a better word, roasts them.” Also, baseless insults, tasteless jokes, “no, u” style replies are what they call garbage content, and nobody likes them.
When you think about it, the only obvious goal when trying to think of a snappy comeback is to get a good laugh and share your original thought. And the same applies to real-life situations. If you hate those awkward moments when your friends or coworkers throw you a snide comment and everything that comes to your mind just sounds lame, don't worry. In real life, not many people can be as clever as Dr. House or Chandler Bing, but there's a few ways you can improve your reactions and become wittier.
Bless This Woman
One of the things that could make you better is the world of improv acting. When it comes to showing your wit, timing is everything. The reply should be as spontaneous as the words that took you by surprise. One way of improving would be to become a better active listener. As Abigail Paul, workshop facilitator and training developer, told the BBC, “people think faster than others speak, giving the listener “extra time“ to compose an answer, even while they give the appearance of still listening to what the other person is saying.”
Come to think of it, there have been many times when we already wanted to share an idea with the person who's not yet finished talking. “Most of us don't listen to the whole message,” Paul said, “we are just waiting to make our own points.” So if you want to whip out snappy remarks, you should actively listen to what the other person is saying and use the unexpected material she or he gave you.
Not Be A Baby Machine
This Always Makes Me Laugh
Sometimes, when we receive a biting remark, we might feel offended. Belina Raffy, a business improvisation consultant, said that negative comments usually come from a place of insecurity. So when it comes to your coworker who constantly tosses you rude remarks, remember that responding positively might ease the pressure and keep projects going smoothly. ”Positive witty comments build trust among colleagues, bosses and subordinates, and they can turn a formerly harsh environment into an accepting one,” Raffy said.
It Was Social Distancing Haha
Clearly this person got their prehistoric knowledge from watching The Flintstones.
They Don't Give A Damn
Can I interest you in some fairtrade organic aloe for that... BURN?!?!?!
Another great tip would be silencing your inner critic: “It’s about letting go of the need to judge ourselves,” Raffy explains. You should try saying what's on your mind without thinking about it. In improv theater, actors try to let go of their inner voice and give in to their “deepest fantasies” in order to say something spontaneous that they would never say in real life.
German History Lesson
- printing press - light bulb - telephone - tape recorder - turntable - mp3 - tv - first freely programmable computer - generator - automobile - jet engine - helicopter - jeans - toothpaste - periodic table of elements - theory of relativity - x-rays - nuclear fission - bacteriology - aspirin Just to name a few.
Oof. That Burn Needs Some Love
Someone Needs A Refresher On Anatomy
Let's not forget the brands that make clever comebacks a key part of their communication with customers. One obvious example is the fast-food chain Wendy's and their made-up social media holiday—National Roast Day. Their communications team does not hold back when it comes to witty replies in their social channels. The question is, do the customers actually value it?
A Punchline From Twitter, Does This Count As A Meme?
That's A Good Proof
Got Roasted By A Police Twitter
A survey by Sprout Social suggests that such responses are actually not appreciated by customers. Brand personality should connect your product to its consumers but as it turns out, that's not always the case. Sprout surveyed 1,000 consumers on which traits they want brands to share on social media and what action behaviors like humor or friendliness cause.
It Is Funny But True
Yep May Be It Is True
It's not illegal to seek asylum. Also, documented immigrants have lower rates of committing violent, property, or drug crimes than native-born citizens. Undocumented immigrants have rates even lower than them. The anti-immigrant, xenophobic fear-mongering that happens here is ridiculous and repulsive. Here's the research if anyone needs to educate friends or family: https://www.pnas.org/content/117/51/32340
Whatever Your Weakness, There's A Hellion To Exploit It
do you think Jeff has anymore d*** rockets? I need to get off this planet, permanently
It seems that “three-quarters of consumers surveyed believe there’s value in brands exhibiting humor on social but only one-third actually want brands to bring on the snark full force.” The majority of consumers buy from brands that are honest, helpful and friendly. “It turns out that at the end of the day, consumers want brands to use social as a customer care channel”, Sprout explains. So while this kind of risky brand personality offers you a great deal of exposure, it seems that it's actually bad for business.
Elon Musk Gets Destroyed By Facts And Logic
Simple Math To Hard
Lastly, for a clever comeback to be considered great, it has to be honest. "The best retorts speak truth — when a person calls something that the other people didn't see," said Paul. "That's generally what makes us laugh." So if you think of a clever comeback that's piercingly accurate and say it right there on the spot, you feel absolutely great because you know that you've earned it.
True Perfection Has Been Achieved
Old But Gold
Congratulations to Australia for deporting her when she acted like a brat about quarantining.
Accessible Parking, But Only During Office Hours
I Swear It Was On
Jesus Statues vs. Police State
Finnally A Manager Making A Comeback
Found This While Browsing Instead Of Sleeping
Would You Like Some Whine With That?
F*cking Sheep
English Unchanged
He Makes A Good Point
Technically He Spoke Genders Into Existence Because By His Very Word He Can Create
I Prayed For Help And God Sent Doctors With The Vaccine, I Said "No Thanks, I'm Waiting For God To Help Me"
One For The Burn Ward
Mindy Kaling Shuttin’ ‘Em Down
Not Sure What Is The Objective Is Here?
Nasa Is Untrustworthy
It Really Is The Churches Motto Tho
The Real Deal
even if he stays out of the emergency room (which he should) he'll still impact others, either by transmitting the disease to the vulnerable or to spread misinformation.
She Seems So Dumb
I'll pay 38 dollars for a burrito if it means someone is able to pay their bills
Why Do Some People Want Others To Have It Bad Cruz They Had ? Hope This Isn't Already Here
why is there such a big obsession with the military, I mean killing others or getting yourself killed is hardly a good thing
Because military in the US is a cult. People get brainwashed from childhood on to think the US military is the best thing ever.
Load More Replies..."I suffered, so should you". Society should be making life *better*, not holding on to terrible things so everyone suffers the same.
Not sure how canceling student debt would be considered a slap in the face to someone who manged to get the government to pay for their education.
That's why in the most european countries education is free (or at least not as expensive as in the US)
That's why the UK wanted to leave the EU... £9000/year for uni, because more is better.
Load More Replies...why is this one getting some much hate about the military? guys the military isn't just getting shot at or vice versa, you know there are actual none combat jobs right? from doctors to mechanics to band and chemistry, you know people retiring out of some of those jobs go on to teach at university's? and lets not even talk about the bonuses you get from retiring stuff like discounts or even 0 down payment on houses, to go around saying the military is murder cult and borderline calling it evil is well... dumb
If we talk about the us military it is kinda true... brainwashing people to join.. fight a ”war” just to take the oil silver and gold etc. destabilize the goverment, pushing factions against eachother just to take the focus from what they are really doing. Most other nations military is alright i guess🤷🏻♂️
Load More Replies..."Ask 20 people what the highest of the virtues is and 19 will say Unselfishness. But if you had asked 100 years ago, all would have answered Love. A positive has been replaced with a negative." -C.S. Lewis.
Gee, I went to college under the Vietnam Veterans GI Bill, after my military service. I was tuition exempt, but even so, I still had to take out student loans for my books, dorm & food plans. Those loans crushed me for years, until my military injuries go so bad that I was given a full pension from the VA. That's when my student loans became null & void.
But going deeply into debt, or submitting to indentured servitude, that's in no way a slap in the face.
This is the mentality of people who support potentially life-threatening hazing activities because they survived. Utter lack of empathy or compassion, or any possibility of progress.
I got 2 BS degrees on the old GI Bill and I would never deny anyone else a break on tuition, nor would I diss their way of getting to their goals unless it was by crook.
But joining the military doesn't cover the whole bill, so you'll still be in debt and possibly... with seriously crippling ptsd
I paid off all of my daughter's NYU debts and I wholeheartedly support forgiving 100% of the $1.5 trillion student debt because I recognize that their ability to get out from under it is a far better investment than the $1.7 trillion tax break given to the top 1% richest Americans.
The "forgiving student debt is unfair" argument is so bullshit and dense.
The public paying taxes for education, healthcare, roads and services such as ambulance, police, fire depts is the best use of tax dollars - not the military and not funnelled to big business. You can call it anything you like. It doesn't have to be called socialism if you have a problematic interpretation of the word. Why not have a think about the words society and social.
Why is helping others denied because you had that same struggle? I got free school lunches, but don't want to end that program because it no longer benefits me! And I pd my loan off and still have no problem with canceling debt for people trying to get out from that mountain of debt! I read of a man in his 60s who is STILL paying off his loan, and trying to make sure his KIDS don't end up burdened with the debt after he dies!!
I was raped, but it does not mean that I think everyone should be raped too just to make us even. I know it is frustrating when have had to make more efforts or to suffer more than other people, I know it feels unfair, but take the high road. Past pains can't be erased, but futur pains can be avoided.
Reply missed the point. Military is a good, not sole, place to earn money and prepare for college. I know many Nurses, PAs, electricians, etc who signed up to work in exchange for an education.
Let's ask the colleges why they are so expensive and why people buy the product if it isn't worth it?
I'm Not A Gamer For Nothing
Look I Made A Joke
you can't spell stupid without u, except this probably isn't a coincidence
Does Jlo Have A Reply To That?
In 1919 And 1920, At The Very Start Of His Career, Tolkien Worked On The Staff Of The Oxford English Dictionary; He Later Said Of This Time That He “.. Learned More In Those Two Years Than In Any Other Equal Period Of My Life”
It Works Both Ways!
honestly pack your bags and leave, save your husband the trouble
He Wants The Ring Please
Don’t Mistake Empathy For Weaknesses
Getting Schooled
how do people who barely managed a high school degree get into parliament?
Fake Incest Go!
State Representative Got Owned!
It disgusts me to my core when adults use children to further their political or personal ideology.
We Need No Masks Because Viruses Are Not Real
I hope she always uses either abstinence or D*ck masks to avoid reproduction.
Not Sure If This Has Been Posted Here Yet, Sorry If It Has Been
I don't understand how forcing existing characters to be queer is a sign of inclusion. To me that's like making a Jane Bond and giving yourself a pat on the shoulder for being so inclusive.
Note: this post originally had 88 images. It’s been shortened to the top 51 images based on user votes.
At least not all people are terrible. You seem pretty chill.
Load More Replies...This is like a rollercoaster ride. As my faith in humanity gets eroded away by the amount of idiocy on display, I am also thoroughly entertained by the burns that followed and hence replenished enough of said lost faith.
I love a good clever comeback . What I don't love is social media articles aimed at scorning different sets of people , dividing them and causing fighting that has escalated beyond the phone or computer screen. When you talk down to people because they hold different beliefs than you , it's not a clever comeback ... it's being a jerk. Stop falling victim to social media click bait tactics . Start being kind to one another
Already seen most of those before on bored panda. Stop posting the same stuff just to write articles
In my opinion, communism has never actually been established. There have been many nations claiming to be communist (USSR, China, North Korea) but they never actually were. It is my thought that the only way it can actually be established is not by revolution and declaring a change of economy but rather the evolution of capitalism. Of course human greed will make this a very hard thing to do.
Nice try comrade. I guess the Nazis just didn't the whole nazism really right
Load More Replies...So f**k off and go and masturbate over Fox News then.
Load More Replies...At least not all people are terrible. You seem pretty chill.
Load More Replies...This is like a rollercoaster ride. As my faith in humanity gets eroded away by the amount of idiocy on display, I am also thoroughly entertained by the burns that followed and hence replenished enough of said lost faith.
I love a good clever comeback . What I don't love is social media articles aimed at scorning different sets of people , dividing them and causing fighting that has escalated beyond the phone or computer screen. When you talk down to people because they hold different beliefs than you , it's not a clever comeback ... it's being a jerk. Stop falling victim to social media click bait tactics . Start being kind to one another
Already seen most of those before on bored panda. Stop posting the same stuff just to write articles
In my opinion, communism has never actually been established. There have been many nations claiming to be communist (USSR, China, North Korea) but they never actually were. It is my thought that the only way it can actually be established is not by revolution and declaring a change of economy but rather the evolution of capitalism. Of course human greed will make this a very hard thing to do.
Nice try comrade. I guess the Nazis just didn't the whole nazism really right
Load More Replies...So f**k off and go and masturbate over Fox News then.
Load More Replies...