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What are the first three things that come to mind when you hear the word “Canada”? That’s right, extreme politeness, maple syrup, and weirdly pronounced “about” and “out” (by the way, I did ask my Canadian friends about it, and they had not the foggiest clue what I was talking about). These three things, along with severe weather conditions and maybe hockey if you are sports savvy, are the staples of Canadian jokes.
It may be the general good-naturedness of the Canadian people or something entirely else that inspires us, but even the laziest person on earth has made jokes about Canada at least occasionally. Every so often, you will find a Canada joke or some Canada puns in movies and TV shows too, and here we’re not even talking about Ryan Reynolds being… well, Ryan Reynolds.
Whether you pledge allegiance to the red and white flag with the leaf, know someone who does, or just love Canadian humor, we invite you to scroll down and treat yourself to some funny Canadian jokes with some maple syrup puns on the side. Share them with your Canadian friends, and if you know more jokes about Canada, tell us in the comments.
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#1
Cold truths hit harder than maple syrup
Every time I hear a mean joke about being Canadian, I go to the hospital and get my feelings checked for free.
Michele Walker 2 years ago
I've got a friend and an aunt who live in Canada and they would agree with you.
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Connie Lee-Solnick 2 years ago
It made me laugh out loud. I love the last sentence the best. It is so true and NOT FOUND in AMERICA. 🌅
RELATED:
#2
Neighbor envy is real
What's the difference between America and Canada? The Americans have really nice neighbors.
Connie Lee-Solnick 2 years ago
You have to think before you could laugh. That is the typical difference between American and Canadian jokes.
#3
Four Seasons but Make It Canadian
In Canada the seasons are, almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
Lytha Hawkeye 2 years ago
Hey! It's July/August we get 2 months of summer lmao
Load More Replies... ️️Upvote faery️ 2 years ago
Yes. But depends on where in Canada too. For example in Saskatchewan the seasons are freeze to death and pothole season, but on Vancouver Island it is spring year round
Bunzilla 2 years ago
Lower mainland BC had PROPER seasons, I really miss it. You'd get around 4 months of each season. In Ontario, it's 6 months of winter, 6 months of everything else.
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#4
Canada’s World Domination Plan
There will be point in the future when Canada will take over the world. And then you will all be sorry.
𝔻𝕖𝕞𝕚𝔹𝕠𝕪𝔾𝕣𝕖𝕪 2 years ago
I’m already always sorry, and I’m not even Canadian (Though my parents would lead you to believe that I am)
Connie Lee-Solnick 2 years ago
And it is so true! I still remember not long ago when the Canadian dollars outweighs the American dollars.
#5
Only Canadians Get Healing Like This
You can tell that Wolverine is a Canadian character written by an American. His superpower is healthcare.
Andy Frobig 2 years ago
Why not? The point is he's written by an American
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#6
Canada’s A-List Secret
50% of Canada is the letter A.
Eric Robker 10 months ago
Fun fact: Canada was originally named "Cnd", but a cartographer asked a local to spell that. And the reply was, "C, eh, n, eh, d, eh", so there you go.
#7
Too Much Fighting, Eh?
Do you know why there's not much boxing in Canada? Every time there's a fight in the ring, a hockey game breaks out.
Stephanie Goadsby 2 years ago
A play on Rodney Dangerfield. "I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out."
Shyla Bouche 2 years ago
I think this one's cute. I don't like hockey, but I like the joke. Go figure.
#8
Cats that could star in a horror movie
A Scottish man walks into a bar in Canada. He noticed there is an animal's head hanging on the wall and asked the bartender what is it. "A moose" replied the bartender. "Jesus Christ! How big are the cats here?" Said the Scot.
Firstname Lastname 2 years ago
According to reddit, they misunderstood this as "mouse." Took me a second.
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Linda Boivin 2 years ago
Too funny ...Scotts have a unique accent so moose was to be mouse ...
Katey Doll 2 years ago (edited)
Can confirm as a Scot that Moose and Mouse are pronounced the same. If you Google Maynards fruit gums advert called there's a moose loose about this house you will get the joke.
#9
Polite Pool Party Exit
How do you get 50 Canadians out of a swimming pool? You say, “please get out of the swimming pool.”
#10
Falling Hard But Still Stunning
What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and the Titanic have in common? They both look good until they hit the ice.
#11
Canada’s way of saying “Oops, found it!”
What happens if you lose your wallet in Canada? You’ll get it delivered to your house.
Hello_my_name_is_Genevieve 2 years ago
Haha so true. Somebody stole my backpack with my wallet in it, and a few weeks later, my ID cards were mailed back to me anonymously with a note "I found those in a trash can".
Connie Lee-Solnick 2 years ago
Wow, I am totally impressed. It will not happen anywhere else on earth, but only in Canada.
#12
When Buddies Build Moonships
So the U.S. and Canada are combining their space programs to send a spacecraft to the moon. They’re calling the spaceship the Apollo-G.
Brandon Parisien 2 years ago
Our space programs ARE combined though...and we helped build the lunar lander too :)
Win ston 2 years ago (edited)
and a pair of arms, currently working on legs.
Load More Replies... #13
Canada’s Mild Remix, Unpacked
Canada could have had it all: American industry, British Culture, and French Cuisine. Instead, they got: French Industry, American culture, and British cuisine.
️️Upvote faery️ 2 years ago
We have more British culture than United Statian culture, for sure!
Benoît Rainville 2 years ago
Sorry, but Québec has it all in the right order and master of Hydro power!
Connie Lee-Solnick 2 years ago
I agree! But please, don’t forget American culture is to be independent and to charge ahead the same way, almost truly democratic as well.
#14
Insurance paranoia level: polite neighbor edition
The other day I bought Canadian insurance, but then I realized how stupid that was. When am I gonna get attacked by a Canadian?
Chihuahua Mama 2 years ago
Not by a person, but maybe by a moose or a bear. Heck maybe even a goose... they can be quite vicious!
Connie Lee-Solnick 2 years ago
Please don’t be discriminatory! Some Canadians, like all other human beings, do attack and do other vicious crime as well. Such is life!
Connie Lee-Solnick 2 years ago
Well, then, I would truly make sure that we, Canadians, can vote to make sure that we know how to screen out the not so cool “illegal immigrants“ to the country.
#15
Maths That Actually Pays Off
Why do uneducated Canadians get more job offers in the US than Americans themselves? This is because 0 degrees in Canada is equivalent to 32 degrees in America!
Connie Lee-Solnick 2 years ago
This is so funny! Perhaps it’s easier to get better paying jobs without being excepted by the unions in America. I personally think that Canada may develop better and faster if the important industry could pay more competitive wages but less union rules, and regulations to deal with.
#16
That’s one way to divide a continent
Did you hear about the guy with a map of Canada tattooed on his butt? Every time he sits down Quebec separates.
Benoît Rainville 2 years ago
Technically the split would have to be in the middle and nobody ever separated.
#17
Classic Canadian Logic
How do you get a Canadian to apologize? Step on their foot.
Connie Lee-Solnick 2 years ago
Really?! Is that how Canada stayed British, after the next door, Americans became independent?! 🤔
#18
Toronto Doesn’t Get Its Own Zip Code
You know you are from Canada when… You know Toronto is not a province.
Giuditta Jones 2 years ago
Eh. It's mostly Americans who don't know any geography but their own. Europeans would know that too
Mbfsc63 2 years ago
Yup! I was in California in 2003 and challenged some Yanks. I said for every Canadian province they named, I would name 10 states. First thing out of their mouths was TORONTO......
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Connie Lee-Solnick 2 years ago
Not the capital either! Neither is Shanghai, Sydney nor New York City.
Stephanie Goadsby 2 years ago
And also on every beer store and liquor store shelf.
Load More Replies... #19
Only in Canada, right?
How do you know if your kidnapper is Canadian? He pays your own ransom.
#20
Bilingual Confusion Hits Hot and Cold
A patron in a Montreal restaurant turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded. "This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked 'C' gave me boiling water." "But, Monsieur, 'C' stands for chaud, the French word for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal." "Wait a minute," the patron shrieked. "The other tap is also marked 'C.'" "Of course," said the manager. "It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city."
Stephanie Goadsby 2 years ago
When in doubt, hot on the left, cold on the right. Though, en français, chaud et froid could look like Celsius and Farenheit. ☺
𝔻𝕖𝕞𝕚𝔹𝕠𝕪𝔾𝕣𝕖𝕪 2 years ago
I get the joke, but they should at least colour code it if they’re not going to stick to one language.
#21
Pun game: Stronger than maple syrup
Why do Canadians love helping people in times of trouble? Because they are Can-aid-ians.
#22
Lumberjack Level: Polite
In honour of Canada Day: How does a beaver greet another beaver? Ma'Dam.
#23
Canada’s Chillest Vacation Priorities
You know you are from Canada when… You don’t know or care about the fuss with Cuba, it’s just a cheap place to travel with good cigars and no Americans.
Good jokes deserve an encore. If these Canada Jokes hit the mark, keep the fun rolling in our jokes directory.
#24
Classic Canadian chill, eh?
How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb? None — they accept things the way they are.
Connie Lee-Solnick 2 years ago
I guess that’s how the small group of French Canadians can make Canada bilingual!
#25
Sole Mates, Eh?
What’s a Canadians favorite kinda footwear… Aboot.
Chihuahua Mama 2 years ago
I honestly don't get this stereotype. Never heard anyone ever say aboot in my 26 years in Canada... except by Americans putting on a "Canadian" accent
️️Upvote faery️ 2 years ago (edited)
No one actually says this.. and you've spelled favourite incorrectly.
#26
Totally nailed the winter starter pack
You know you are from Canada when… You know what a toque is.
Bunzilla 2 years ago
A simple, usually a knit cap also commonly referred to as a "beanie".
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Fricsmom 2 years ago
I’m laughing at this one! Hubby’s family is Canadian and it took me for ever to know this was a hat and a tobagan was a sled!
LJeanne T 2 years ago
I learned it by reading the "Gamache" series detective novels.
Load More Replies... #27
Well, That’s One Way to Season
A French guest, staying in a hotel in Edmonton phoned room service for some pepper. “Black pepper, or white pepper?” asked the concierge. “Toilette pepper!”
Hearthstone Blitzen 2 years ago
lol nope. ig its just making fun of the french accent (not necessarily the french-canadian accent tho so this joke isnt rly “canadian “)
Load More Replies... #28
Canada’s “Sorry” Was Legendary
What did Canada contribute to the James Webb Space Telescope mission? All the apologies for all the delays.
#29
Peak Canadian Logic
If you’re Canadian when you go into the washroom, and you’re Canadian when you come out of the washroom, then what are you when you are in the washroom? European!
Vicki Doggurl 2 years ago
You’re-a-pee-in. :) this was only of my three brother’s favorite jokes as a kid.
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Sawyer Nabozniak 2 years ago
If ur a russian to the bathroom a and ur finish when ur out, what are you in the washroom? European
#30
Plot twist: Borderline comedy
Why didn’t the American make a joke about the Canadian border? They realized that would cross a line.
#31
Only Canadians Say It Right
In Canada, they use “B.C.E.” instead of “B.C.” It stands for Before Christ, Eh?
Connie Lee-Solnick 2 years ago
So that is how Catholicism, the church, lost, is most political power and control.
#32
Same thing, different accent
In Europe it's called a Lift, in Canada we call them elevators. I guess we're raised differently.
#33
Eh-dventure in Learning
Why are Canadian students so smart? They get lots of ehs.
#34
Still bragging about 2010 goals, eh?
You know you are from Canada when… You know exactly where you were when Sidney Crosby scored the Golden Goal at the Vancouver Olympics in 2010!
️️Upvote faery️ 2 years ago
Huh... I actually do know where I was that day.... And I don't even like hockey
#35
Puns That Score Every Time
Why do hockey players like baking cakes? Because they’re great at icing.
#36
Canada’s Deadliest Surprise
In Canada, you are more likely to die of a kick of a moose than a terrorist attack.
#37
Maple Leaf Conspiracy Uncovered
I just found out Canada isn’t real. Turns out it was all maple leaf.
Abby da great 2 years ago
Ok. I know it’s been three months. But just now I suddenly understood the joke. Maple leaf—make believe
#38
Winter Then July, Because Why Not?
What are two seasons predominantly seen in Canada? It is just winter and then July!
Hellsbunnies TV 2 years ago
It's also an old Billy Connolly joke about Scotland. 😝
Load More Replies... #39
Mountain-level dad jokes, always.
What did the snow say to the Rocky Mountains? I’ve got your covered.
#40
Peak dad joke energy
Why shouldn’t curlers tell jokes on the ice? Because it might crack up!
#41
Classic dad joke energy
Knock Knock Whose There? Yukon. Yukon Who? Yukon see the Northern Lights from here!
#42
Talk to the hand, tree!
A lumberjack went in to a magic forest in Canada to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, “Wait! I’m a talking tree!" The lumberjack grinned, “And you will dialogue!"
Benoît Rainville 2 years ago
Canada was developed by logging industry making room for agriculture, then industry.
#43
Pun intended, totally got me
Alanis Morissette asked me what the capital of Canada was? I told her "I'm not sure" Then she blurted out "You ottawa know"
#44
Nature’s punniest predator
What has antlers and sucks blood? A moose-quito!
#45
Sorry, Canada, not helping with your flat today
What is the type of tire that fixes itself on its own without troubling the driver? It is a Canadian tire.
maniacallysane 2 years ago
If its a canadian tire then it leta you wander in unorganized aisles for days finding absolutely everything except the 1 thing you are looking for. I went there for a tv once, it was on the top shelf in the plumbing department. Good job, guys 👍
Lyoness 2 years ago
Absolutely true. I worked there as a teen and even the employees couldn't find stuff.
Load More Replies... #46
Not Your Average Canadian Cougar Sightings
Which Canadian city is full of fierce cats? Vancougar.
#47
When Sports Make Unexpected Switches
In New Brunswick, I went to a fight and a hockey game broke out. I love hockey, but I want to follow a sport that’s a little less violent. Now I’m into boxing.
Steve 2 years ago
If you weren't allowed to wear padding in hockey you'd just straight up die.
Load More Replies... #48
Moose Better Than Your Winter Blues
What do people say about Canada in the winter? It’s the moose beautiful time of the year.
#49
Mean, but polite—Canadian style
My wife says I get mean when I drink whiskey. Now I drink Canadian whiskey. I am still mean but I am sorry, too.
#50
Ghosts know their poutine, eh?
What’s a Canadian ghost’s favorite food? Boo-tine!
#51
This One’s Too Chill
What’s a Canadian’s favorite comedy show? It’s Always Snowing in Winnipeg.
#53
Leaf it to the Canadians
How can someone tell that another person is from Canada? By how they draw leaves.
#54
When in doubt, pun it out
You can't make statements in Canada. But you can make provincements.
#55
Bone to pick with that play
What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game? Driving the zam-boney.
#56
Pop over soda, eh?
You know you are from Canada when… You drink pop, not soda.
Onion Patch Petunia 2 years ago
They just announced to spare others unhappiness, they will now call it soda pop
#57
Fish over traffic, every time
You know you are from Canada when… Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.
HellbladesFFXI 2 years ago
Wait, what part of a highway is a pike? I've only known the fish and I live no where near Canada.
𝔻𝕖𝕞𝕚𝔹𝕠𝕪𝔾𝕣𝕖𝕪 2 years ago
A small segment of a highway (I know it as both- and a character from Star Trek)
Load More Replies... #58
Canadian Alphabet Problems
How do you spell Canada, eh? C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?
Chihuahua Mama 2 years ago
How do you know a non-Canadian wrote this? Eh is used incorrectly. You can't just tack it onto the end of any sentence. There's grammar to it!
Gøøse 2 years ago
Yea, the overuse of "eh" in these jokes shows that these people have never been to Canada, let alone are from here.
Load More Replies... #59
More shocking than your morning coffee
Why was the tourist terrified during their trip to Canada? There was so much tundra and lightning!
#60
Wait, Canada’s PM is Actually Trudeau?
My brother didn’t believe me when I told him the name of Canada’s prime minister. I replied, “You may not believe me, but it’s Trudeau!”
Glitch Kitten 2 years ago (edited)
Lol more like Castro! Pictures are worth a thousand words, and Fidel Castro and Justin *Trudeau* look more alike then Pierre and Justin ever will. Edit: spelling mistake
#61
Canada’s way of saying sorry
How does Canada respond to coin shortages in the U.S.? They give us Nickelback.
#62
Alberta’s Low-Key Movie Obsession
People in Alberta love watching this one particular movie. It is called The Adventures of Tarsand!
#63
Plot twist nobody saw coming
An American and a Canadian wants to watch a movie together. American: Lets watch Titanic. Canadian: What's that about? American: Yes, it was. A big one that sank!
Teralyn Coffee 2 years ago
Canadians probably know more about the Titanic than we Americans do. After all they are responsible for most of the survivors. They also buried a lot of the dead because the cruise line refused to send them back to England and the families couldn’t afford to. Check out Halifax and Titanic.
Hellsbunnies TV 2 years ago
Also the joke only really works if the people saying it is the other way around.
Load More Replies... #64
Dinner’s about to get political
What time was it when the monster gobbled up the Prime Minister? Eight P.M.
#65
That’s one ripe twist
What’s yellow, has red hair and freckles, and lives in PEI? Banana of Green Gables!
#66
Oops, Canada’s new classic!
What do you call a Canadian sitcom about a naive boy? Leave it to Bieber.
#67
Only in Canada, eh?
What does Canada do with hardened and dangerous criminals? They give them red and white jerseys and call them the National Hockey Team.
#68
Only Canada’s Exclusive Export
What does Canada produce that no other country in the world produces? Canadians.
Hellsbunnies TV 2 years ago
This isn't true. Many countries produce Canadians. People move to Canada all the time and take Canadian citizenship.
#71
Fishing for trouble, literally
I was surprised to see the rate of crime on Canada's east coast is pretty high. It was because the thieves never get cod!
#72
Pun Game: Unexpectedly Strong
Years ago, where did the Jamaican plant a tree in Canada? He did it in Mon-tree-al!
#73
Geography Just Played Us All
What is the only place in the world where the United Kingdom and Latin America meet? They meet in British Columbia.
#75
Canada’s Low-Key Spy Starter Pack
You know you are from Canada when… Like any international assassin/terrorist/spy in the world, you possess a Canadian passport.
#76
Canada’s Car Pun Just Hit Different
Did you know Tesla came out with a model exclusively in Canada? It's a Model Eh.
#77
Flexing his shell game
Why did the weightlifter move to Prince Edward Island? To get the best mussels!
#78
When Dad Jokes Meet Business Advice
I finally decided to open a business in Canada. My business advisors told me, “Don’t get cod feet!”
#79
Wiggle Before the Win
How do the Toronto Blue Jays get ready for a game? They do worm-up sessions
#80
This Pun Just Woke Me Up
What do all the people in the Capital of Canada eat for their breakfast? Ottawaffles.
#81
Nice try, eh?
What type of public transport do Canadians like for visiting America? Zambonis.
#82
When you get politely benched in Canada
During the ice hockey game, I tried to sneak into the front of the line. Unfortunately, the guard caught me and told me, “Quebec to the end of the line!”
#83
Only Canadians Say “Highway” Like That
You know you are from Canada when… You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
Cat Chat 2 years ago
Highways and freeways are two completely different types of expressways (at least in the US). Highways have traffic lights, and freeways don't
️️Upvote faery️ 2 years ago
Heh our freeways are within city limits and include on and off-ramps, some traffic lights. Highways are between cities/towns/hamlets/villages
Load More Replies... #84
Gotcha, but which camera though?
Although it is not illegal, why can't you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg in Canada? You have to use a camera.
Cat Chat 2 years ago
Is there anyone who can explain this one to me? There's more than a few I don't get, but this one is extremely baffling to me.
Jamie Beverly 2 years ago
You can't use a wooden leg to take pictures. Wooden legs are for walking on. Cameras are for taking pictures.
Load More Replies... #85
Canada’s Remix Nobody Asked For
What song do pumped-up Canadians sing? “Who Let the Sled Dogs Out?”
#86
When “Eh” Turns into an Invite
How do you get invited to get-togethers in Canada? Someone says, “Hey, we’re having a part-eh!”
#87
When Sparks Fly, Legends Are Born
What happened when two Canadian musicians met during the fire at the gaming stop? They formed Arcade Fire.
#88
When the deer plays hard to get
While we were on a hunting trip to Canada, there was this deer that we kept tracking but couldn’t catch. It led us on a wild moose chase.
Andy Frobig 2 years ago
However the moose is the largest and goofiest looking of the deer family
Load More Replies... #89
Soap so cold, it’s iconic
What’s every Canadian’s favorite soap opera? The Cold & The Beautiful.
#90
Canada’s letter glow-up
Why did Canada add a C to its name in the very beginning? This was because it wanted to add anada letter to its name!
#91
Nope, That’s Definitely Not Cheating
Apparently, lots of Canadians use "married but dating" sites. What a sorry state of affairs.
#92
When Penny Wars Spark Genius
How was copper wire invented? Two Canadians were fighting over a penny.
Pud 2 years ago
Canada doesn't have pennies. Still waiting for a funny joke... 13 more to go... fingers crossed. 🙄
Hellsbunnies TV 2 years ago
Oh Jesus Christ! Tell me about it! This is worthles without doubt the worst Bored panda list I've ever read. Half are just mild racial slurs made by Americans. I'm not Canadian but the reason I'm insulted is I write jokes for a living. I'm offended by crimes against comedy! 😝 What's even weirder is neither of us stopped reading. 13 left to go, you say? Cover me, I'm going in.
Load More Replies... #93
When puns make the party cooler
Knock Knock Whose There? Snow. Snow who? Snow big deal. We're celebrating Canada Day!
#94
Guess Nunavut Said Nope
How much of Northern Canada can actually be inhabited by humans? Sadly, Nunavit!
#95
Canadian wit level: expert
A Canadian man told me he was 100 years old. I replied, “I Canada beleaf you are 100!”
#96
Plot Twist Incoming
A man from Newfoundland went into the fish market to apply for a job. The boss thought to himself, "I'm not hiring that lazy newf", so he decided to set a test for the Newfie hoping he wouldn't be able to answer the questions and he'd be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument.
#97
Eh, that’s one for the highlight reel
What did the super-fan say when the Canadian National Team won the Hockey World Cup? “What eh time to be ehlive!”
#98
Plot twist: Canadians = unicorns
Whats the difference between a Canadian and a unicorn? Nothing,theyre both fictional characters.
Hellsbunnies TV 2 years ago
And it's all over. Let's never speak of this list again and pretend it never happened.
𝔻𝕖𝕞𝕚𝔹𝕠𝕪𝔾𝕣𝕖𝕪 2 years ago
This isnt the bottom right now, but I agree. Only about 5% of these were actually good
Load More Replies... #99
Plot twist: geography wins again
Why aren't there any Mexicans in Canada? They can't run that far.
Glitch Kitten 2 years ago
... that's just tasteless. Also ignorant as hell. Whoever made this list needs to seriously reevaluate their so called *sense of humour* if any ofthis was funny to them. 10/10 worst BP list I've seen so far.
Michael Hester 2 years ago (edited)
Way to upset and alienate members of both of America's neighbouring countries at the same time. Almost a German level of efficiency there! *Wink*
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