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30 People Who Refuse To Forgive Their Ex-Friends Share What They Did To Betray Them
Interview With Expert
Unlike family, which can be a toss-up, we tend to have the luxury to pick and choose who we become friends with. This is part of the reason some people even end up being a lot closer to their friends than their actual families. But sometimes even a “friend” might end up doing something that you can’t really come back from.
Someone asked “What was the worst thing your friend did that completely ruined your friendship?” and netizens shared their stories. We got in touch with therapist Yolanda Renteria to learn more. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to write your own thoughts and experiences in the comments section below.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I always put the effort in, making conversation and trying to make plans. A lot of time I saw they had read my messages but it was hours or even days before a reply. So one day I decided to stop and wait to see how long it took for them to message me first... Happened about two weeks later to ask me for lift to work. I said my car was in for service (it wasn't) and nothing ever since.
Upstaged75 1 year ago
Yeah, I've dropped a few friends for that. If it's only a one-sided relationship what's the point?
viimatar 1 year ago
I'm a person who too often forgets to reply after quick-checking on a message when it beeps (would be nice if the reminder function actually worked), thinking that I'll reply with real thought in a less busy moment, but I at least apologize and try to fix things. This one unfortunately just sounds like taking advantage.
Sven Horlemann 1 year ago
I love reading something like this. Because it shows me it is not me / us who have that problem with so-called friends... Sometimes you really wonder.
Wysteria_Rose 1 year ago
Same thing happened to me. Tried meeting up with someone time and time again only to get ghosted or delayed. Finally stopped trying and then she's sending invites for her baby shower and is confused why I can't be there. It's only when they want something from you.
Kill-Bunny 1 year ago
My few cousins did the same. I was almost always the first one to write, several times for them finally to answer. First time it took them about 3-4 months to realize, I was not writing them. Did they write me first? No, they went complaining to all the relatives for me being an a*shole. The second time, there were some arguments about what they did and once again, I did stop writing them first, because I got tired being humiliated begging for contact. It took almost 2-3 years, and I am the "bad one", because I went "no contact" with them, though they were the ones, who never contacted me in a first place.
Display_Name 1 year ago
This may be off topic. The mom of my ex's best friend would come to my job and tell my coworkers that I was a lying thief and for them to watch their purses. Even went so far as calling corporate. I actually had met that guy many times so he knew me. She calls one day asking if my ex could give her a ride. He wasn't working. I told her that because she is constantly coming to my job and harassing me and my coworkers about me and trying to get me fired no. I explained that I am the one who pays for gas, maintenance, and insurance on that car and if I wasn't working then we wouldn't even have a car that would cause her to ask for a ride. She left me alone.
Marina M. 1 year ago
I've been in this situation as well. A "friend" who always needed help - borrowing money, getting a ride, taking care of her son when she just "couldn't find a babysitter" - completely disappeared when I was diagnosed with a terminal illness. Not even a card or email.
Betty Caughy 1 year ago
You find out who your true friends are when you become disabled or have a terminal illness--this is what I've experienced unfortunately. A lot of friends and family will just "disappear"
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Lexekon 1 year ago
Tests do not always work on people. You had a well defined dynamic to your relationship, where they would respond to you, and likely rarely ever gave input. This does not mean they regarded you as a tool, it could simply mean they lacked the understanding they were being tested.
María Hermida 1 year ago
I had a "friend" like that. She only called me when she needed something. Until I started to say "no" and she vanished.
Paul Jayne 1 year ago
There is no satisfaction to be derived from friendships with toxic people.
Gracie Mae 1 year ago
after years of dealing with being the one to maintain and keep up with 'friends' (& even some relatives), I've done a total turn-around. I no longer go out of my way to foster these relationships. After all the time I spent planning & initiating communications, I'm done. Sadly, I no longer have any real friends, and have 'lost' siblings, but oh well. I find things to keep me busy & stay busy with my immediate family & grandkids. THEY will miss me when I'm gone; who cares about the rest?
Zaach 1 year ago
I had some 'friends' who refused to call or make plans,I had to make all the plans - for 20 years I went with it then said "f**k it" when I called to make plans, was told "my partner makes all social plans" and did not call me, and gave me the stink-eye when I did not keep calling.
Tazzinem 1 year ago
I could have written this.. i think I always think more of friendships than the other person does. Our friend group was always going for bushwalks, outings etc and it was always me that initiated the group text. I stopped doing it - been about 2 years now, 3 of them I haven't seen or talked to since...
Sunshine Lady 1 year ago
I've lost touch with many people after I stopped writing/calling first. And especially when I deleted my FB account and they had to use Viber. If they don't need me and don't want to message me first at least once, I'm not putting the effort, sorry.
RELATED:
#2
I was 12 and eating lunch at school. Not popular at all but I managed. Saw my only close friend having to eat on his own because our table was full so got up to join him and sit with him. He simply stood up and sat in the seat I had just left.
I lost contact with him, but I will never forget feeling so shot down in my entire life, it changed the way I interact with people for the worse.
#3
Friend of 20 years. Lived together for almost a decade. Lied about Everything for Years. Found out one night when her boyfriend told me I was the problem in their relationship. I asked what he meant. We went down the rabbit hole. She had been lying to me about him and lying to him about me. She lied about things that happened with our families, her exes, our other friends, my pets. It was like pulling a thread on a sweater, and boy did it unravel. Some of the things she lied about were weird and trivial but others were horribly manipulative and cruel.
Bored Panda got in touch with therapist Yolanda Renteria and she was kind enough to share some of her thoughts on this topic. Firstly, we wanted to hear what red flags she would recommend people look out for in their friend group.
“People who are highly critical, who put you down, who don't recognize your efforts, and who aren't there when you need them. Your friend group should be a place where you feel inspired, energized, and uplifted,” she shared.
#4
I had a whole friend group that hated me (I didn't know that obviously). One year for my birthday, they all said they were coming to my party. I kept getting texts individually saying things like "on my way" and " be there soon".
But in reality, they all met up with eachother and were making fun of me the whole time. They also texted others that the party was canceled or just not to show up and to hang with them instead.
#5
After a breakup, she went to a church that recruits. One Sunday she texted me about the good news and then tried to save me from homosexuality and then degraded my beliefs.
#6
We had a mutual friend who was transgender and not out (he had transitioned but fully passed as a man and didn’t advertise the fact he wasn’t born male). The two of them got into some really stupid fight and for some reason my friend got so mad they decided to out him. They went back in his mom’s private facebook to find pictures of him pre-transition and posted them online with his birth name and a whole transphobic rant. They had always been supportive so it was completely out of left field. We lived in a small town where word spread quickly and most people were NOT accepting to trans people, so it really affected him.
We wanted to know why boundaries are a vital part of any relationship and why some folks struggle to keep them. “Boundaries are important because they help your friends know how you want to be treated in relationships, what you like and don't like, what you will accept and won't accept. They are like a guide for your friend group of what you expect in friendships.”
#7
I was going through hell and for 6 months she never asked how I was. When I tried to talk to her about it and how hurt I was she made it about her.
Disgruntled Pelican 1 year ago
Man if this is the case, I need to cut out at least 3 friends...
#8
I had a friend who, at a gathering of friends and family, became upset with the jokes they were playing. Provocations from comrades, no big deal. However, he pulled out a gun and pointed it at the house owner's head in front of everyone. The next day he came to apologize, blaming the drink. He was a police officer at the time. It was a red line he crossed with all of us.
#9
She invited the guy who cheated on me with the girl he is cheating with to have dinner at her house.
“People who struggle setting boundaries with friends typically struggle setting boundaries in all of their relationships. Difficulty setting boundaries typically comes from two places - 1) being afraid of upsetting others or losing friendships 2) feeling unworthy of healthy treatment. Both tend to come from childhood wounds,” she shared with Bored Panda.
#10
Found out they were telling friends and family that I didn't attend their wedding because I got fat and was too embarrassed to come. In reality, it was during covid and they were open about the fact that their family were anti vax and anti mask. Considering I'd be traveling 5 hours by plane from a big city, I didn't want to be blamed if their rural wedding became a superspreader event.
#11
Stole from me... on my birthday. I put all the money people gifted me on that day in 1 place. He visited me, gifted me a single candy, grabbed all the money that were there and quietly walked away thinking i would not notice.
#12
My entire friendship group aside from one person, decided that I was a great target for bullying after I got diagnosed with major depression.
“Healthy boundaries are the only way for people to have healthy relationships with their friends. Yes, some friends might make fun or dismiss your boundaries, but that is a sign for you of the health of the friendship. At the very least, you friends should be open to listening to what's important to you.” you can find more of her work on her website and Instagram.
#13
We were good friends from highschool, went to the same university and basically kept in touch for over 20 years. During covid, she - this high IQ, really smart individual went off tangent to seek the "alternative truth". In the alumni whatsapp group, one of our friends were dying of covid. He literally said goodbye to everyone as he will be intubated and not sure if he will wake up again. Soon after she commented, this happened because he was vaccinated. All he needed was sunlight and vitamin c. Hot damn. Everyone just dropped her like hot potato. Miraculously, he survived. .
Anna Ekberg 1 year ago (edited)
Wow, covid and isolation really brought out the worst in some people.
#14
Embezzled thousands of dollars out of my bank account. I guess between that and the felony charges I made against him doomed the friendship forever.
#15
She hopped on the trump train, and kept trying to punk all her friends into these petty political arguments In person she’ll be nice to your face, but on Facebook she goes 0-60 in calling all of us pro-abortion, baby killers. I don’t know why she does this because she has no friends anymore as a result.
Anna Ekberg 1 year ago
To me as non-american this whole Trump thing sounds like a cult thing. A dangerous cult.
#16
Lent him $10k over time.
Promised to pay me back. Been 3 years and everytime I asked for money back. He makes excuses like ‘fine I won’t eat’ or ‘guess I can’t pay for my mortgage’ or ‘you’re ruining my mental health asking for your money back’…. Hard lesson learnt.
#17
We had been best friends for 5 years. Met travelling and lived together, worked together, adventured together, lockdowned together and I had even supported her through a tough medical issue she went through and comforted her for nearly a full year after her 6 month relationship ended and she was devastated. At the end of last year I went through a break up of a 3 year relationship and at the same time medical negligence left me with nerve damage. I was in agony both physically and mentally and genuinely felt nearly suicidal and was unsure if i would ever recover (im still healing). I tried my hardest to reach out to friends and family for support (also got myself a therapist for the suicidal part). She ignored me for months. She was aware of everything i was going through. When we finally spoke she told me she couldn't fix my problems for me and she didn't know what I wanted from her and i told her i just needed a friend to talk to not to fix anything and she just scoffed. When we next spoke 2 months later she told me my stress was getting her down. We haven't spoken since. The disappointment has been as heartbreaking as my break up and I'm still reeling from her callousness. It has devastated me 😭.
#18
I named my son's middle name his last name and then went on vacation to New Orleans with him and the mother of my child, only to walk in on them sleeping together in the hotel..turns out they had been sexting each other for over 6 months and planned the whole thing, thinking I was going to be too drunk to notice. Mind you I considered him more of a brother than my own brothers for over 14 years. Needless to say I got my son's middle name legally changed after that.
#19
Ex-best friend was trying to help me through a rough and sudden break-up with my girlfriend of 3 years. A few weeks later he sends me a picture of her laying on his chest with the explanation of “everyone thought we were getting together so we just decided to “. Started to put a lot of things in perspective for me.
#20
Decided 5 seconds before my wedding ceremony that she no longer wanted to be my maid of honor or even in the wedding after an argument with a couple of my other bridesmaids. She was the only one not ready, and threw a fit about the cupcakes being displayed weird, so a couple of the other girls were like “okay go fix it then” and she slammed the door and threw a whole temper tantrum in front of my husband and his groomsmen where they were hanging out before the ceremony began. It was wild and we haven’t spoken since. We went to high school together and texted and hung out regularly too, so it was pretty sad throwing away a friendship over something that silly.
#21
Made a pass at my wife. Chinned him and haven't spoke to him in almost 3 years.
#22
Publicly announcing my medical diagnosis in front of my friends and telling them that I brought it to myself for being careless (A lie ). Enemies now and it is better this way.
#23
At his birthday party after blowing out his candles with his family and friends around, he wished I didn't come.
#24
They showed contempt towards a beloved hobby of mine, even though they knew how much it means to me. That was a very clear indicator we were drifting apart.
Paul C. 1 year ago
Closest I came to falling out with my best mate. We went ski-ing and last day I missed stoving my head in against a tree by about an inch. He skied every year, it was my first attempt. I got up and said, that's me done, he got annoyed and called me a quitter, as I trudged down the mountain. An hour later he walked into the hotel reception where I was sitting with two pints of Lager.....drama over.
#25
Invited our friends over to pack my things while I was in hospital and then tried to steal my child because they were convinced my baby was theirs.
#26
This is a petty one, but - I have (had?) a friend who is chronically late. Like, 45 minutes late every time we hang out. She knows how much it bothers me, and yet she still does it. We don't hang out anymore.
#27
We were close. Did everything together, even when I got pregnant. Then I had my son, she never came and met him. Thought oh maybe she's busy.
6 weeks later ran into her at the mall, I had my son with me. She talked to me for about 5 minutes and didn't even acknowledge my son. I knew then and there we were done. Haven't spoken since.
Helen Mary Mutch 1 year ago
Sometimes when one friend becomes pregnant and has a child, it becomes thier ENTIRE PERSONALITY. OP is probably an awesome person, but maybe didn't realize that she hijacked every conversation and made it about her kids. Which is understandable, but as someone who grew apart from a best friend like that, I get it. Thier humour changed (won't someone think of the children!) they put down horror movies (disgusting world that finds this entertaining) and even though we had an awesome childhood growing up with thrift store clothes and toys, her child wouldn't be subjected to that.
#28
She asked my boyfriend (that she thought I just broke up with days ago, but it was a fight) to meet her for a drink. What's worse, I called her that day. My car broke down I needed her help. She said she would contact me when she was back in town. Not only did she not call or text, she messaged my boyfriend to hang out with her. I told her off the second I found out, and it still hurts me to this day. Because she called it "a misunderstanding" and I was very close with her entire family. I knew about her, and how shady she was. But I wanted to believe she wouldn't betray me since we are were so close.
Ephemera Image 1 year ago
It's so funny that, sometimes we know what a person is really like, from seeing them dealing with others in a shady way, but we always assume 'they would never do that to ME because we're friends or family. Trust me, they will (and are) doing the same thing to you. Ask me how I know that.
#29
She would regularly lie and manipulate me. Told me that the guy I was in love with, liked me back, which was not the case. She ended up dating him. Needless to say I cut the contact as soon as I could.
They dated for about four years. When I learned they broke up, I almost bought a bottle of champagne.
Cynthia Angell 1 year ago
My mom was in hospice dying. My cat died while i was gone to be with her. My supposed friend said s**t happens and ghosted me. Her name, Donna harris. I was warned she was mentally unstable. Indeed. What a sad excuse for a human.
#30
One time, my friends and I were taking a sports test in high school, and I experienced low blood sugar. I fainted and was very hurt. Then I was taken to a doctor, and after I left the doctor’s room, I did not find any of my friends waiting for me. I returned home alone in a miserable state. Then I realized that no one cared about your affairs except your family.
Momma Jess 1 year ago
I hate to tell you this, but sometimes not even family cares, or if they do care it's only when they want to feel better about themselves as people, not because they actually care.
Friendships, like any other relationship, sometimes encounter situations that test their stability. Just as in the case of cherished collectibles, a surprising betrayal can present a significant challenge, whether it’s a friend failing to respect boundaries or someone disregarding the intrinsic value of personal belongings.
In matters of trust and respect, understanding the significance of maintaining trust can help guide actions and decisions in friendships.
#31
He showed me lewd pictures of the girl who I'd just broken up with. She sent it to him in an attempt to make me jealous. He kept asking for more. So, her plan worked. I was jealous at the time. But I never talked to either of them again
MaximumKarmaSaint 1 year ago
Why is this how some people think this should be how any sort of breakup or relationship works? "Oh you're gonna be sorry you broke up with that girl, because now I have private photos of her to use for my own 'entertainment', you probably wish you were still dating her huh?"
#32
I was friends with a guy who was a total keyboard lunatic. He constantly took shots at people over messenger and just criticised everyone and I got sick of it - on top of it I found out he was often harassing women on Facebook. Still friends with his brother.
#33
Realising how manipulative and toxic she was. My parents told me after I finally ended our friendship that they held their tongues for so long bc they didn't want to hurt me. I tried once to reconnect, was in detox for a week before rehab and didn't get to check my phone till the bus trip and she had responded with "I'll be your friend but on my terms." I sent back "Our entire friendship was on your terms so no, I'm going to rehab and not putting up with this s**t." I have like a books worth of stories about the s**t she did, it was like being in an abusive relationship, I basically lived with her and her boyfriend for a while and it was horrendous, I will never forgive her for screaming at him the real reason his mum died in the middle of an argument, that was the straw that broke the camel's back.
#34
He told me he can't afford to "be my therapist" anymore and stopped talking to me. It kinda came out of nowhere. I've gone through a lot of trauma in life and I talked about it with him sometimes, mostly when something bad was happening at home, but we also often talked about his problems and he never gave any indication of being tired of it. It f****d me up a bit, I closed myself off again from people for some time and I'm still scared people might leave me if I talk about my trauma too much.
#35
Knew I was struggling to afford everything to be in their destination wedding. Asked the other party members if they wanted to airbnb to save money, but I was left out and expected to have my own rental.
#36
They stole from me and denied it. There was no other it could have been, and there was indisputable evidence. I saw it. They stopped responding when I called them out. Blocked me. We were really close friends, or so I thought. So it hurt. But I guess I just lucky to not have them in my life anymore.
#37
I moved 1200 miles away and was the only one making any effort to meet up. I eventually started cutting out one way relationships - that one included. Unfortunate as we were like brothers for many years. I decided to break the ice recently and visit again. We are so far apart in life now (cognitively) that we are not really even compatible as friends.
#38
Stole from me after my parents were kind enough to let him live with us on two separate occasions for several months total when we were teenagers after his mom kicked him out. The second stint living with us he left to go live with his dad in another state while we were out of town and stole a bunch of my stuff including things that were locked up and only he and I knew where the key was, since we shared a room. Get f**ked Travis.
Me Oh My (He/They) 1 year ago
In my (admittedly brief) life experience, Travises are ALWAYS douches.
#39
She maintained a friendship with my ex husband behind my back and without ever mentioning it to me, while I was treating her like a friend and confidante and talked about my feelings and how much I was struggling with the divorce and his treatment of me. Her literal words were "I know he's done some shitty things to you, but he's always been a good friend to ME". She's kind of a pick me girl who has a lot of self loathing especially in regards to her appearance and my ex was slightly above averagely attractive. He essentially just transferred getting his emotional labor performed by me to her and that's how she usually ingratiated herself socially. The whole thing was pretty gross, but I'm glad I saw her true colors. Sometimes you just outgrow people and it sucks.
#40
Blamed me in a very passive aggressive way for not putting any effort into our friendship, yet either declined or straight up ignored any suggestion of doing things together. He only wanted to do things he enjoyed, which always resulted in walking. An activity I highly dislike might I add.
#41
Told my ex I cheated on him (hadn't) then slept with him. Had the nerve to come to me saying 'somebody' had told him at a party they went to while I was working
#42
Was my maid of honour. Proceeded to tell one of my bridesmaids my marriage wasn’t going to last while planning my wedding. All because she was jealous I got engaged and married before she got engaged and was with her partner for longer.
#43
Attempted to accuse me of making up some mental health issues and then started bitching to everyone and attempted to play the victim after I snapped on her. Was a complete 180 of her character that I should've seen the signs of coming in hindsight, but things unfortunately happen the way they do sometimes.
#44
Turned a mutual friend against me by slowly manipulating them into believing I was the reason for his issues with women. Ironically enough, it has been 4 years, and he is way creepier with women than when he was solely hanging out with me.
#45
She texted me that she wasn't coming to my wedding the morning of because her sitter canceled. Not sure why her husband couldn't watch the kids for a couple hours. I moved out of state shortly after, and a few months after that she contacted me saying she's in town and wants to get dinner. Why was she in town, you ask? For a wedding.
What do you think ?
Shine Chisholm (they/ them) 1 year ago
One was my fault, the other was not. Not my fault: I was suicidal, and he decided that was me flirting with him. My fault: she had surgery. Life stuff came up and I wasn't there for her. I'm still heartbroken over how I treated her.
Giraffy Window 1 year ago (edited)
He told me I was so naive, I'd likely wind up r4ped some day. I told him that until he understood just exactly what he'd said to me, I didn't want to hear from him, and while I would welcome an apology, our friendship was done. He never did reach out. I didn't lose any sleep over him. ********************************* We were all trying to support her through a really rough breakup. We instead became her emotional support objects to scream and cry at. Through all her rants and tirades I came to realize she was emotionally and financially abusing her boyfriend, and was trying to isolate him from his friends and family. I learned that she had emotionally blackmailed him YEARS ago into staying as long as he did, by telling him she would off herself if he left. All this time believed her that this guy's mom was a hateful b***h, and it turned out she was just a mom stuck watching this horror show ruin her son's life. Her constant repetitive raving over his leaving sent a mutual good friend into panic attacks because they just couldn't take the extra emotional burden this woman was heaping on us. I am convinced she killed her guinea pig, and then her dog to try to bring him back out of sympathy. Both animals were in fine health, and then both died suddenly of unknown issues just weeks apart from one another after her boyfriend left with a better woman, and wouldn't come back to her. Good luck Mike. Fūck you Sandra. Oh also: If you're worried, she's moved to another country, so Mike is safe now. Sorry other country. Fūck you Sandra.
Guess Undheit 1 year ago
A now former "friend" and fake "feminist" constantly spewed slogans like "believe women" (when they report sexual assault) and "hold your friends accountable" (if you know one committed SA), pretending she cared about other women. Then one day on my fakebook feed her post appears, a picture of her at a Pride parade standing next to and hugging a male known for committing sexual assault. SHE KNEW he was a perp, and he had sexually assaulted a REAL friend of mine, among other women. It turns out the fake and the predator were "friends", how they talked to each other in the comments on the photo. I went to confront her about it, she ducked and ran. She was a lying sack of sith, kicked her to the curb which she got pissy about. I saved the photo, so she won't try anything.
Charity Gosswiller 1 year ago
Best friend of mine since freshman year of high school. I’m almost graduated and she’s graduated. We were having problems already and then she told the guy I was dating that she liked him and then tried to pursues him. He told me about all of this and she was quickly demoted as best friend to stranger.
Giraffy Window 1 year ago
Good riddance to a rotten trout. Dust off your shoes and look forward to a brighter horizon without her. Also, so sorry. That really sucks.
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JB 1 year ago (edited)
Facing a bit of a dilemma. I was very close friends with a couple having lived with her for 1.5 years after both our relationships broke - I needed somewhere to stay, she needed financial help. Not long after I moved out, she started a relationship with her now husband. I was delighted, supportive, we all got on great. I even had a key to the house for emergencies and was a contact on her kids’ phone for emergency if they couldn’t get hold of mom or stepdad. I did step up a few times in this regard. I was always invited by call or text to parties, even with extended family, until 3-4 years later. They joined a self help organization and guilt-tripped me into attending an introductory workshop. It was as awful as I expected it to be and, afterwards, I pointed out the similarities between this organization’s approach and known brainwashing techniques. Told them I wasn’t judging but, please, be careful and it wasn’t for me. I wasn’t cut off instantly but there was a noticeable decline in invites and communication. Come the COVID lockdown, I didn’t expect any invites but the texts and calls from her side dried up completely. I tried to keep it going but texts were ignored for weeks until “sorry, we’re really busy” replies. And, every time I called to catch up she didn’t have time now but would call back… never did. Two years ago, I was invited to a remembrance service for her stepmother, told to turn up at 1130 Showed up at 1128, to see the service was over. When I tried to apologize for being late, I got yelled at for being early. “Go back to the car! You weren’t invited for the service, just to pay your respects in the follow up meeting. You’re causing issues because we must comply with Covid restrictions.” I hadn’t been told this but, fair enough, horribly stressful during an awful time to try to arrange a memorial. I tried to keep communication open for the next year but it was all one way. Eventually, I gave up. I’ve had nothing from their side for over a year. I was on FB for the first time in two years, last weekend, having received news a friend died of cancer, so hopped on to offer condolences to the husband (also a friend). Out of the blue, I notice I’ve been invited to a 50th birthday party for friend 1 and her husband. I’ll be honest. I miss them, but it’s been so long without any effort on their end I can’t decide whether to go and let it pass or ignore the invite in the knowledge they *know* I don’t actively use FB and haven’t for years. Either way feels like a bad choice, brushing my hurt under the carpet for an invite that may just have been sent to their friend list (invitation by default) or ignoring a potential olive branch. What would you do?
Giraffy Window 1 year ago
Sorry, it's over. Don't go. If they meant their invite they would have reached out personally to try and catch up first, not just invite you when it's going to be so obviously awkward for you.
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kath morgan 1 year ago
She pursued my SIL on dating sites under false pretences (pretended not to know us). Then *told me* and offered to use this connection to share private details about my brother’s marriage. It took me a while to figure out how to process this behaviour, because it was just so bizarre. This was a lifelong friend.
Lene 1 year ago
My oldest friend seems to be more obsessed about how stupid she thinks I am for wanting to be examined for adhd and for being unemployed. She thinks I'm just lazy and has scoulded me because of it. I have already other diagnoses for neurodiverse conditions. And yeah... I regret that I invited her to my 40th birthday... I hope she won't come. It's sad because we've known eachother for 25 years.
bbfa 1 year ago (edited)
A coworker I let stay for free in my apt. after a breakup with her BF. One day someone found my paycheck on the floor in the restaurant, my drivers license was gone. Lucky they dropped my check. A couple months later I got a notice for missing court for reckless driving- I was in the hospital on the day of the ticket. My DL, her car. I called CHP and turned her in, called her father and told him I was getting her arrested, got the super to change the lock that day, and threw everything she owned in the hall and told her dad to get it. The officer called me directly and took her info, he said something had felt off about the encounter, the way she was bragging about being a cops daughter, and took me off the ticket. I was a kid, I had not reported the license stolen and hadn't bothered to get a new one yet. I got my DL back from her dad in the mail. On a side note, she had my mom snowed, and my mom got mad at me for trying to get her arrested. Found out later she was turning tricks with sports personnel from teams the CA Angels hosted at the restaurant in my apt for the restaurant owner. Nice, huh?
Start Wearing Purple 1 year ago
We were quite close for a while. But then, he made the passing of my husband about himself, two years ago. Last week, told me how I should feel about it and indirectly explained that my feelings were wrong. Insisted on discussing it when I said I don't want. Was offended when I said I wanted to visit the grave alone with my husband's and my kid, without him. Told me I rejected him when all he wanted was to be there for us. Could not accept it when I responded that yes, I was rejecting his company because I couldn't deal with his invasive behaviour while mourning my husband. Explained that it was somehow his story even though he's never known my husband. And proceeded to tell that he had a special connection with my kid I didn't have. That was the point where I decided that this was not any good for my kid and myself. I'm cutting contact now.
Kare Deter 1 year ago
I believe that is a good choice. He has shown he has no respect for boundaries, and the whole connection with your kid thing? That is creepy AF - do not let him near your child.
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Merilyn Horton 1 year ago
Yes, as my best friend made a pass at my husband, who didnt care for her at all. She has the nerve to ghost me!
Shine Chisholm (they/ them) 1 year ago
One was my fault, the other was not. Not my fault: I was suicidal, and he decided that was me flirting with him. My fault: she had surgery. Life stuff came up and I wasn't there for her. I'm still heartbroken over how I treated her.
Giraffy Window 1 year ago (edited)
He told me I was so naive, I'd likely wind up r4ped some day. I told him that until he understood just exactly what he'd said to me, I didn't want to hear from him, and while I would welcome an apology, our friendship was done. He never did reach out. I didn't lose any sleep over him. ********************************* We were all trying to support her through a really rough breakup. We instead became her emotional support objects to scream and cry at. Through all her rants and tirades I came to realize she was emotionally and financially abusing her boyfriend, and was trying to isolate him from his friends and family. I learned that she had emotionally blackmailed him YEARS ago into staying as long as he did, by telling him she would off herself if he left. All this time believed her that this guy's mom was a hateful b***h, and it turned out she was just a mom stuck watching this horror show ruin her son's life. Her constant repetitive raving over his leaving sent a mutual good friend into panic attacks because they just couldn't take the extra emotional burden this woman was heaping on us. I am convinced she killed her guinea pig, and then her dog to try to bring him back out of sympathy. Both animals were in fine health, and then both died suddenly of unknown issues just weeks apart from one another after her boyfriend left with a better woman, and wouldn't come back to her. Good luck Mike. Fūck you Sandra. Oh also: If you're worried, she's moved to another country, so Mike is safe now. Sorry other country. Fūck you Sandra.
Guess Undheit 1 year ago
A now former "friend" and fake "feminist" constantly spewed slogans like "believe women" (when they report sexual assault) and "hold your friends accountable" (if you know one committed SA), pretending she cared about other women. Then one day on my fakebook feed her post appears, a picture of her at a Pride parade standing next to and hugging a male known for committing sexual assault. SHE KNEW he was a perp, and he had sexually assaulted a REAL friend of mine, among other women. It turns out the fake and the predator were "friends", how they talked to each other in the comments on the photo. I went to confront her about it, she ducked and ran. She was a lying sack of sith, kicked her to the curb which she got pissy about. I saved the photo, so she won't try anything.
Charity Gosswiller 1 year ago
Best friend of mine since freshman year of high school. I’m almost graduated and she’s graduated. We were having problems already and then she told the guy I was dating that she liked him and then tried to pursues him. He told me about all of this and she was quickly demoted as best friend to stranger.
Giraffy Window 1 year ago
Good riddance to a rotten trout. Dust off your shoes and look forward to a brighter horizon without her. Also, so sorry. That really sucks.
Load More Replies... JB 1 year ago (edited)
Facing a bit of a dilemma. I was very close friends with a couple having lived with her for 1.5 years after both our relationships broke - I needed somewhere to stay, she needed financial help. Not long after I moved out, she started a relationship with her now husband. I was delighted, supportive, we all got on great. I even had a key to the house for emergencies and was a contact on her kids’ phone for emergency if they couldn’t get hold of mom or stepdad. I did step up a few times in this regard. I was always invited by call or text to parties, even with extended family, until 3-4 years later. They joined a self help organization and guilt-tripped me into attending an introductory workshop. It was as awful as I expected it to be and, afterwards, I pointed out the similarities between this organization’s approach and known brainwashing techniques. Told them I wasn’t judging but, please, be careful and it wasn’t for me. I wasn’t cut off instantly but there was a noticeable decline in invites and communication. Come the COVID lockdown, I didn’t expect any invites but the texts and calls from her side dried up completely. I tried to keep it going but texts were ignored for weeks until “sorry, we’re really busy” replies. And, every time I called to catch up she didn’t have time now but would call back… never did. Two years ago, I was invited to a remembrance service for her stepmother, told to turn up at 1130 Showed up at 1128, to see the service was over. When I tried to apologize for being late, I got yelled at for being early. “Go back to the car! You weren’t invited for the service, just to pay your respects in the follow up meeting. You’re causing issues because we must comply with Covid restrictions.” I hadn’t been told this but, fair enough, horribly stressful during an awful time to try to arrange a memorial. I tried to keep communication open for the next year but it was all one way. Eventually, I gave up. I’ve had nothing from their side for over a year. I was on FB for the first time in two years, last weekend, having received news a friend died of cancer, so hopped on to offer condolences to the husband (also a friend). Out of the blue, I notice I’ve been invited to a 50th birthday party for friend 1 and her husband. I’ll be honest. I miss them, but it’s been so long without any effort on their end I can’t decide whether to go and let it pass or ignore the invite in the knowledge they *know* I don’t actively use FB and haven’t for years. Either way feels like a bad choice, brushing my hurt under the carpet for an invite that may just have been sent to their friend list (invitation by default) or ignoring a potential olive branch. What would you do?
Giraffy Window 1 year ago
Sorry, it's over. Don't go. If they meant their invite they would have reached out personally to try and catch up first, not just invite you when it's going to be so obviously awkward for you.
Load More Replies... kath morgan 1 year ago
She pursued my SIL on dating sites under false pretences (pretended not to know us). Then *told me* and offered to use this connection to share private details about my brother’s marriage. It took me a while to figure out how to process this behaviour, because it was just so bizarre. This was a lifelong friend.
Lene 1 year ago
My oldest friend seems to be more obsessed about how stupid she thinks I am for wanting to be examined for adhd and for being unemployed. She thinks I'm just lazy and has scoulded me because of it. I have already other diagnoses for neurodiverse conditions. And yeah... I regret that I invited her to my 40th birthday... I hope she won't come. It's sad because we've known eachother for 25 years.
bbfa 1 year ago (edited)
A coworker I let stay for free in my apt. after a breakup with her BF. One day someone found my paycheck on the floor in the restaurant, my drivers license was gone. Lucky they dropped my check. A couple months later I got a notice for missing court for reckless driving- I was in the hospital on the day of the ticket. My DL, her car. I called CHP and turned her in, called her father and told him I was getting her arrested, got the super to change the lock that day, and threw everything she owned in the hall and told her dad to get it. The officer called me directly and took her info, he said something had felt off about the encounter, the way she was bragging about being a cops daughter, and took me off the ticket. I was a kid, I had not reported the license stolen and hadn't bothered to get a new one yet. I got my DL back from her dad in the mail. On a side note, she had my mom snowed, and my mom got mad at me for trying to get her arrested. Found out later she was turning tricks with sports personnel from teams the CA Angels hosted at the restaurant in my apt for the restaurant owner. Nice, huh?
Start Wearing Purple 1 year ago
We were quite close for a while. But then, he made the passing of my husband about himself, two years ago. Last week, told me how I should feel about it and indirectly explained that my feelings were wrong. Insisted on discussing it when I said I don't want. Was offended when I said I wanted to visit the grave alone with my husband's and my kid, without him. Told me I rejected him when all he wanted was to be there for us. Could not accept it when I responded that yes, I was rejecting his company because I couldn't deal with his invasive behaviour while mourning my husband. Explained that it was somehow his story even though he's never known my husband. And proceeded to tell that he had a special connection with my kid I didn't have. That was the point where I decided that this was not any good for my kid and myself. I'm cutting contact now.
Kare Deter 1 year ago
I believe that is a good choice. He has shown he has no respect for boundaries, and the whole connection with your kid thing? That is creepy AF - do not let him near your child.
Load More Replies... Merilyn Horton 1 year ago
Yes, as my best friend made a pass at my husband, who didnt care for her at all. She has the nerve to ghost me!
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