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27 Pickup Lines That Are Splendid, Witty, And Definitely Worked On Their Recipients, As Told Online
An ancient wisdom I once read in a book said: “When flattering someone, don’t be too sweet, lest they swallow you up, but don’t be too bitter, lest they spit you out!” And you know what? This is probably one of the most accurate and laconic pickup guides I’ve ever heard – even if that book wasn’t about love at all.
As it turns out, many netizens also have their own memories of completely irresistible pickup phrases, literally causing them or someone else to go weak at the knees. In a nutshell, our list today is dedicated to the most brilliant pickup lines ever heard by folks.
More info: Reddit
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I had heard this really hot, shy girl at work liked me. She wouldn’t hardly speak when I said hi.
One day about a week after my birthday, I walked right up and sat down and asked her, what did you buy me for my birthday? She said “oh is it your birthday?” I said it was a few days ago. I told her since she didn’t get me anything for my birthday, the least she could do was go to dinner with me. Been married 29 years this month. Best belated birthday present ever.
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#2
This girl I used to work with and I went to a bar after work and we’re having fun, and she leans over to tell me a joke. And she says:
3 boy mice and a girl mouse were all stuck in a room with no doors and no windows. One of the boy mice asked the girl mouse how to get out and she said “Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning”.
Next day he is gone. The 2nd boy mouse asks the girl mouse how he got out and she says, “Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning”.
Next day, he’s gone too.
So now the girl telling me this joke says to me. “Do you want to know how the last mouse gets out of the box?” And I say “yes”. And she says,
“Sleep with ME tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning”. All this while staring me in the eyes and smiling.
I said, “Check please bartender!!”
I forgot to ask her in the morning, but that was the best pickup line I’ve ever heard.
#3
You: Do you have an ugly boyfriend?
Her: No.
You: Do you want one?
Doctor Strange 3 months ago
As an ugly person, trust me when I say, no one wants an ugly boyfriend. Shrek lied to you.
A thread recently appeared on AskReddit, the author of which, the user u/_night_hawk19, asked other people the question: “What’s the best pickup line you’ve actually used/has been used on you?” It’s not that the thread has skyrocketed for just a day, but as of now, it boasts over 2.7K upvotes, and there are also a whole thousand various comments.
If a couple of decades ago, young people needed special "reference books" from the older generation (just remember that notebook from the "American Pie" movie), today this role is successfully fulfilled by the Internet. By all sorts of collections of worldly wisdom – like this one, collected for you by Bored Panda.
#4
I used this one with great success, back in the day.
I would walk up to a girl and ask her, "What's your favourite colour?"
That's not asking too much personal detail, so they would always answer.
Once they answer, I would just say, "Thank you." with a smile and walk away to where I came from.
That is just too much for women to handle.
If they were even slightly interested in me, they would always come over and ask why I asked that.
That's when I would say that it's just a psychological pick up line and that I found her incredibly attractive and wanted to find out if her personality matched her appearance.
I am now married to the last girl I asked 20 years ago. She likes Green.
#5
I was at a bar sometime early 2020, just before the lockdowns, and I asked the bartender for a lime and wrote my phone number on it, then offered it to a woman who I had been talking to and said something like "this is my best pick up lime, I'd like you to have it."
Sometimes, being corny works.
#6
I was working at a place and we had a security guard there. We were friendly but I had a partner at the time. He got a more stable job and it was his last week working at my location. He comes up to me and says, “hey this whole time we have been working together I have had an interest in you, you’re beautiful but also kind, hardworking, patient and intelligent. I was wondering if you have a boyfriend?” … I said yes but also told him kind that was for him to say… then he hit me with… “I hope he treats you well, I also hope he realizes how lucky he is.”… I remember feeling like after that interaction… that’s how you do it… That’s how you politely and respectfully hit on somebody. If I would’ve been single, I would’ve gone out with him, the line would have worked. Still think about it to this day 6 years later. I am single now and wish I knew where he was honestly.
People have long liked to hear praise addressed to them - about their own appearance, personal qualities and achievements. So it’s not surprising that since ancient times, we’ve known about the great masters of pickup. For example, the hero Paris in the poem "Iliad" was helped to seduce Helen of Troy not only by the gods and his own handsome appearance, but also by his unsurpassed eloquence.
More than three thousand years have passed since then, but we are still susceptible to flattery and compliments. But the most important thing is that these compliments are at least partly true. That the people we say this to actually believe it.
#7
Me: "I'm going to see a movie."
Her: "Cool, what movie?"
Me: "Depends, what do you feel like seeing?"
Said to the new girl in high school, who was so far out of my league it's ridiculous. But being new, she didn't seem to realise, because it worked and she said the name of a movie.
I nearly f****d up the follow through I was so surprised. I think it's actually the only time I've ever used a pick-up line of any kind. Success rate of 100%.
#8
My go to was "hey do you mind if I hit on you for a little bit".
#9
A girl once told me she could read palms and reached for my hand. I don't believe in stuff like that so I let it happen. After tracing random lines on my hand she stopped and told me she cant actually read palms but that's a great way for strangers to let her hold their hands. I was magical, I do this to all the new friends I make.
It’s interesting that for more than twenty years, scientists have been specifically studying pickup lines in order to understand the mechanisms inside our heads that allow them to work. For example, a 2006 study included several dozen of the most popular lines from various movies and TV series – both in relation to women and men.
The results were quite interesting. "Pick-up lines serve as an advertisement, filter, and screening device,” Jeremy Nicholson, M.S.W., Ph.D., writes in his dedicated article on Psychology Today. “The type of line a man chooses says something about his personality and attributes. Similarly, whether a woman finds a particular type of line appealing says something about her personality and attributes as well.”
On the other hand, before you mindlessly shower compliments left and right, it’s worth trying to first understand what kind of person they are – because otherwise even the most brilliant and efficient line could work in the opposite direction.
#10
I was buying some clothes one day (1990's); I guess they had a rewards program or something. The checkout girl said "Phone number"? I replied "Only if you give me yours", she laughed, we finished the transaction, and as I was about to step away, she said "wait", and proceeded to write her number down and hand it to me. I was also much younger and handsome then, lol.
#11
I told a girl "Nice dress", and she replied, "Wanna see under it?".
#12
Best pickup line ever. Have had mates married and thank me at their weddings.
"Are you celebrating anything today?".
Multicultural, multi pronoun. Non binary. Works with groups of men or women. Just a great human to human language if you are at a bar, pub, club, bus stop and want a chat. Abit of banter.
Great icenbreaker.
After all, it’s not so important what we say as who we really are. So any pickup line from a person who is really interesting, both inside and out, will be much more effective.
“The pick up line allows your real self to hide behind a flimsy, one-sentence strategy: whereas the other person is far more likely to want to connect with you and pursue something if they know who you really are,” this article at The Gentleman’s Journal claims. “Rather than performing for an invisible camera, let all that go and show the object of your affection is your real self.”
#13
Back when I was first dating my wife.
Me: [Talking my usual s**t]
Her: [Looks up at me from all of 4' 10"] "If you don't stop being such a smartass, I'm going to kick your a*s!"
Me: [Looks down from a relatively lofty 5' 7"] "I don't think you can get your foot up that high!"
Her: "Oh, yeah?!" [Proceeds to kick me in the head].
#14
One for the wingman...
Wingman: "Hey, were you at Bar A last weekend?
Ladies: "Nope!"
Wingman: " D**n, my buddy was right. I said those are the girls from Bar A and he said you guys were too hot to be them"
Works everytime, 1/15, times.
#15
I used to, in college, say to a girl "hey I met your boyfriend last week, what's his name again?"
Couple times she'd say "oh, Dave?" And I'd laugh and say sure, Dave , he's alright
Couple other times though, she gave me a somewhat quizzical look, said "I don't have a boyfriend" and so I continued, oh that must have been someone else, anyway how you doing, what are you up to this weekend, I love your hair etc
Frequently the non boyfriend responders after about 3 minutes figured out the game and smiled coyly.
Well, first of all, it’s worth perceiving this list simply as a source of interesting and sometimes funny information, rather than as a direct guide to action. So now please feel free to just read these stories, and in case you have something to say on the topic too, just share your own experience in the comments below.
#16
Me (f) to guy I've been hanging out with, "Want to sit in my lap and talk about the first thing that pops up?". Worked great, he was laughing all evening.
#17
"Great view at my place and it's nearby. Wanna come check it out?" "Yeah ok"
It actually was a great view, which is maybe why i was so cocky about saying it. It worked out a number of times 🫡.
#18
"I'm not good at the pick up lines. Can I interest you in a magic trick?"
Stole the content and cadence from Chandler in Friends.
Then I did a bit where I guess her number. It needs the right environment/set up, but it worked both times - too bad they didn't text me back though.
#19
Office situation. I crouch down to get a fax roll (yeah that long ago) out of the credenza.
EA standing next to says "Hm. While you're down there..."
My face is at c****h level.
I turn my head, look directly at her c****h, slowly pan up the length of her body to her now flushed face, and said "...yes?"
Office flirtation went on for 18 months.
Relationship lasted 14 years.
Skara Brae 3 months ago
BP: Do you see how well your censorship works? People often ask what the censored word is and people respond with an easy to read answer. You waste everyone's time. The result is: NOBODY is protected from the scary bad words. In this case, you could have censored the word with 'cr0tch' and avoided wasting our time, and still avoid the "bad" word coming up in your advertiser's search engines. Sheesh. Hire a director with more brain cells.
#20
Drunk asked a girl with purple hair if the carpet matched the drapes. she said find out. tldr it did she dyed it the same purple.
#21
Approach a woman at bar or gathering: “Hi. My friend over there says you think I’m cute.”.
#22
I went over to a girl's house to smoke with her, after getting her number the day before. Of course, I had my hopes, but wasn't sure how to lead it that way. We were smoking in her living room, watching tv, and her light was just too freaking bright, so i said "hey, can we turn this light off?" To which she said "i have a better idea. Let's go to the bedroom and turn the light off" so smooth, don't think it would have worked for me though lol.
#23
Are you my appendix? Because I know nothing about you, but I have a strong feeling that I should take you out.
#25
Was used on me:
“Can I have some gum?”
When I passed her the pack, she pulled me in and kissed me, and stole the piece I was chewing.
“I wanted yours.”.
#26
If we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!
#27
Not sure if this counts as a pick up line per say but a girl I had known for some time was just having some friendly banter with me, she said “you only f**k dumb girls” and I replied with “guess I have to f**k you too then”. Alcohol works wonders because we did f**k.
What do you think ?
Mabelbabel 3 months ago
We'd been on a casual 'friends' sort of date, having known each other for a while. I was driving. I dropped him home, and he looked at me and said "Tea? Coffee? Or me?" Together 24 years now, 3 kids, 2 dogs, one cat and a hamster.
Mel in Georgia 3 months ago
Do not understand the downvotes. This is adorable.
Load More Replies... Mel in Georgia 3 months ago
Some of these were clever, but some were super cringey and definitely wouldn't have worked on me!
Mabelbabel 3 months ago
We'd been on a casual 'friends' sort of date, having known each other for a while. I was driving. I dropped him home, and he looked at me and said "Tea? Coffee? Or me?" Together 24 years now, 3 kids, 2 dogs, one cat and a hamster.
Mel in Georgia 3 months ago
Do not understand the downvotes. This is adorable.
Load More Replies... Mel in Georgia 3 months ago
Some of these were clever, but some were super cringey and definitely wouldn't have worked on me!
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