Humans are curious creatures and sometimes have more questions than answers. Over the centuries, however, we've accumulated quite a bit of knowledge. So if someone needs a quick fix of information, they can always open the Bible or an encyclopedia. Or Reddit. More and more people are turning to /r/AskReddit in search of the truth, and while the responses they get don't always seem scientifically sound, they're as hilarious as the funny questions themselves.
Want to know how to make friends? Best ask Reddit! Or what was ruined because too many people started doing it? Funny Reddit users will answer! If you're not afraid of slipping down the Reddit advice hole, check the compilation below at your own risk - you might get addicted to these top Reddit questions and answers quickly. So, scroll down to get the answers and upvote your favorites!
(Cover image: Russell Neches)
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Cracked me up so hard i got in trouble in class for laughing to loud and was getting a number of looks. This is so funny but so smart at the same time!
Nothing could be more true then this. Just do it if you are alone and want friends, true friends.
From a man to ladies: you might think the hints you give are very obvious, but they are not! And if you like a man, make the first step yourself. Don't get upset if a man doesn't get your "obvious" hints.
I once asked someone (A non-drinker), what would you possibly do, if you are way to much drunk, Response: I won't remember a thing I guess. Friends for life.
I feel like I'm in a foreign culture where everybody knows the customs, the language and how to interact but me, and I'm just here terrified I'm going to try to say something nice but end up calling someone's mother a whore.
Zimbabwean Dollars. 10 billion is surely going to require more than a briefcase in most other dollar currencies!
I do this with my daughter. I have successfully stopped 'dabbing' and 'flossing' in my house. I hope to progress to stopping her wearing inappropriate clothing when she is a teenager using the same techniques.
My favourite is (translated by me to English so sorry that it might sound like it): A man walks into the surgical ward in a hospital saying: "Hello, I think I'm a moth." A nurse replies: "I'm sorry, this is the surgical ward, psychiatry is on the third floor." "I know but you had the lights on."
A fellow Croatian passenger approached me in English in the plane last time and I answered back in English because I couldn't know either. Until the moment he spoke to the flight attendant
im so sorry i read this as "a fellow crustacean passenger" and i have never been more confused
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I am Swiss, native language German. We went with our class to a part of the country where they speak French and German. Lost my way and ringed the bell at a random house. An old lady opens the dore and I ask in my best French if she knows where the youth hostel is. She asked me in German if they don't teach us German in school
While I was in Venice I was walking with a friend. Suddenly, we hear some boys commenting on our bottoms just behind us in our mother language. Now I'd make a snarky comment back at them. We were just too confused to do this then, sadly. I still get real embarassed just thinking about it.
Taiwanese friend and her sister were in an elevator in Taiwan, gorgeous foreign guy gets in. Friend teaches Chinese, so she knows many foreigners in Taiwan speak Mandarin, so she and her sister start discussing the guy's looks in Taiwanese (difficult language to learn, so most don't). Elevator stops, guy gets out, turns around, and in fluent Taiwanese thanks them for the compliments .
at the italy area in epcot, all the employees speak italian. they were talking trash about this older woman in the shop who kept bragging about having italian great grandparents or something. at one point they were so fed up with her i just burst out laughing, and their eyes widened in panic. so i responded in italian "that's hilarious! i was just thinking the same thing" and we all laughed loud enough that the other customers started staring.
I'd just had a spectacular new hair cut. Washing my hands in a shop bathroom, an elderly lady said laughingly to her daughter in Welsh 'Look at that girl's hair!' I replied in Welsh 'What's wrong with my hair?' Elderly woman was horrified, 'I didn't know you could speak Welsh!' (yeah, obvs.) We were in Cardiff, the capital city of Wales. Not everyone is a Welsh speaker here by any means, but why take the risk?!
I was in a hostel in London and two girls came in the room. They asked me of direction to their beds and I helped them (in english or course). I continued with my business. They then got to their bed and started to talk about quite personal things in Finnish, which is my native language. I didn't want to embarrass them, so I just hid my stuff (like thoothpaste) with Finnish logos or text and continued the week with some juicy stories and gossip. It was quite nice to hear familiar language as I was traveling for few weeks alone.
Hispanic grandma asked her grandson if the fat girl coming into the pool was his girlfriend. My son, who took 5 years of Spanish, laughed.
I was at a library, lady next to me spoke to her child in French and pointed at my hair saying that is what it would end up like if he didn't take care of his, I turned around and just politely said "Qu'est-ce que tu a dit?" Safe to say they hightailed it out of there
Not me, a former colleague. She was Chilean, looking the part and visiting her homeland. In a restaurant with a friend she overheard 2 dutch people being not very complimentary towards her and her friend. Apparently it was very satisfying when she greeted them in Dutch.
Two women came up behind me as I browsed in a store wanting to look at something where I was already shopping and started talking c**p about me in Spanish, saying that ‘this white girl is so rude for being in their way’ and ‘why doesn’t she just move already’ and ‘too bad those jeans that she’s looking at won’t look right on her ugly flat a*s.’ Finally I just turned around and said ‘Lástima que esta blanca pueda entender todo lo que dices.’ (‘Too bad this white girl can understand everything you say.’) You should’ve seen the faces as I walked away with that pair of jeans. Never assume.
Sitting outside of a restaurant (terrace table) next to a relatively busy road in a small Greek village, and a car with my hometowns license plates pulls up, so I decide to have some fun. I see a passenger holding a map so I'm guessing they're here to ask for directions. I approached the car quietly and let the poor woman ask directions to a nearby lake in the most broken English, just to proceed with telling her the directions in our native language. The entire car, including her, burst into laughter
That's true. I was once in a shoe store in Miami trying on shoes when one of the attendants began sharing details in Spanish of her date's shenanigans the night before. Evidently he started out at PGA 1 of THE JOY OF SEX and went through the 1st 7 suggestions/positions. I have red hair and green eyes with fair skin but I still speak Spanish. They were SO embarrassed.
Plenty of Spanish people have a look like yourself. Hair color and eye color doesn’t determine ethnicity.
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I was in a grocery store line. While the cashier rang up my purchases, these two girls behind me started randomly criticizing me in Spanish for being white. “Look at her stupid white girl clothes. She thinks she’s all that. Just another write girl who thinks she’s better than everyone else.” After I paid and the cashier handed me my receipt… I turned to the girls and in perfect Spanish said, “You know, I was born in Mexico, so I’m probably more Mexican than you are.” The looks on their faces was priceless!
What a ridiculous thing for them to say! Especially when they know absolutely nothing about you!
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When a server in the restaurant said to a coworker,"Look at that fat woman." in Spanish. I said, the fat woman understands Spanish.
I'd just had my hair done at a top salon, and was feeling mighty fine. Whilst washing my hands in a department store ladies' room, and older woman shot me a quick glance in the mirror, and said to her daughter (in a 'what the h£ll has she done to herself?! tone of voice) in Welsh 'Look at that girl's hair!' I did a double take, and fired back - also in Welsh - 'What's wrong with my hair?' Cue acute embarrassment and many grovelling apologies from the woman. The odd thing is - we were in Cardiff, the capital city of Wales. Why on earth would she think no-one else could speak Welsh?
My aunt moved to the UK when she was 23-4 (it was around 2000) to work as an Au-Pair. She's Hungarian and made some friends (also Hungarian Au-Pairs) and they went out one day somewhere, the story is my aunt has a small tattoo on the back of her neck and they were standing in a queue and there was a bunch of teens behind them, one of them speaking out loud in Hungarian: "look this girl has a tattoo on her nape" and a friend of my aunt's turned to them: "and she also understands what your talking" 😀😀😀
The nail tech at my wife's nail salon called my wife a b***h in Vietnamese. I responded (also in Vietnamese) "I agree".
Was in an English pub. Had a conversation with a woman while in queue for a beer. We spoke for a bit, then she asked: "Where're you from?" "Norway." (In Norwegian) "Oh! Me too!"
It happens to me a lot that people think I don't speak Spanish, while at home or abroad. Apparently, Spaniards can't be pale blue eyed people.
It’s so ridiculous since PLENTY of Spaniards can have any hair color and eye color combo.
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worked at a second hand shop in Ireland. a customer asked me for a specific lace. never heard of before, didn't know what he wanted and send him to a colleague. so may he could help. he just left the shop and came back to me to ask where i come from. told him, that i'm from Germany. The next moment he answered in perfect german (with saxon dialect) that he could have said that to me right away... :D
Hahahaa.. omg.. that would definitely fck someone's head if you just started living with them.
My sister's cat suddenly seemed to get fatter overnight. We thought it was doing the above until one day we found it fighting with another cat - which looked exactly like it, but thinner. Things went 'click' and we realized we had been feeding an impostor who kept chasing my sister's actual cat off when he tried to come home. Smartest thing I've ever seen an animal do.
The one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people eaters....does anyone remember those being everywhere??? Nope...see
my primary school decided to take away the rubbish bins because they thought it would mean we would take our rubbish home but it just made us litter more
Restaurant staff that spit in your food....very rare, people think it's common
Not telling people what you really think of them for the sake of being "polite". I wouldn't need to be so scared of being that annoying person everyone secretly hates but just puts up with if I knew people would just tell me if I was bothering them. Would save both our times and make for an actually pleasant interaction.
Having a product that has quantity like food, drinks or cosmetics, have a big, medium and small sizes, and making the difference in price between the big and the medium considerably smaller than between medium and small so that people will always buy the big, even when they definitely don't really need or want that much, since it's a "much better deal".
My sister Brooke did this with chocolate chip cookies. She was babysitting for my other sister Shelly who lived above the business they owned. All ingredients were bought in bulk, & were not labeled. Brooke never baked again without tasting both the sugar & the salt.
I had my baby 5minute after my water broke. I was in hospital. Unfortunately I was locked in the bathroom at the time. Long story short, I ended up delivering my own baby while about 10 midwives were trying to break the door down. They burst in, with one marine crawling across the floor, to find me holding my son and grinning like an idiot. I don't think I'm allowed to write what nickname my friends gave me after that!
well, if a person is killed by a landmine, how many organs there is left to donate?
"Being honest." "I don't think that's a weakness." "I don't give a f**k what you think." Classic joke.
If your hands swell after touching them they are probably toxic. Might want to avoid licking them.
i guess that isnt to crazy if you think of all the movies etc. and if fireworks count as explosives?
I wonder if 50 hawks could carry me aloft and safely away from the combat?
The Fox And The Hound. Plot/Message: Even though, as children, it is obvious that we are all basically the same, in maturity it's a bittersweet necessity to discriminate violently based on class and race. The order of things only to be disturbed in the event a lesser shows complete subservience and loyalty by risking their life to save their superior; only then should we suffer their existence.
It’s called hongi. It’s where you exchange the breathe of life. By engaging in this you become one with those around you. When done by those who know about it, it’s a bit more solemn and meaningful than other greetings.
My friend has asymptomatic strokes. Previously had a stroke, got a blinding headache? Go to hospital just in case
Hetalians (Hetalia is a show about countries) are told that women were not allowed to watch the Olympics in Greece because they were originally all naked when doing it.
Did he/she know it was a vibrator at the time and what his mum used it for? If so then there is a LOT going on here...
The secret is actually sleeping enough. It's easier to concentrate and learn, and you have energy to work out, which makes your brain work even better. It's also easier to just get things done instead of procasinating out of tiredness. Thus leaving you excess time for having fun and meeting friends.
"Good job Guys! This looks almost real, like I'm actually on the frikkin moon!"
My school is a private school and we where blazers and i was in grade 12 and i was walking outside and i realise i didnt have my blazer i walk inside grab my dressing gown walk a couple of meters into the school and absolutly die of embarrasment!
"Why don't you have a boyfriend, are you a lesbian or something?" My uncle at a family party because I was still single in my late teens/early 20's
in my experience, at my birthday party, took all my toys out of the wardrobe after I kept telling them not to, even stole some of them when I was sulking in the living room on my own
Splitting matches in two ( no lighters in British prisons in the past)
I once could cancel a lookup of a technican. I could not watch TV and thought it is the cable provider. Turned out my TV had deleted all stations by itself...
Here is a bucket of cleaner. I'm going to leave you at this warehouse in the middle of nowhere to clean all of these appliances and cars. I don't have gloves so your hand may itch or sting a little from the cleaner. Oh and non of the facets or toilets work. See you in 4 hours.
WOULDNT IT BE THEY ARE COVERED IN BLOOD OMG WHY DID I JUST SAY AND TYPE
well, you would still have the same level of procrastination as before
First one that made me actually laugh out loud. Maybe that says something about my level of maturity.
Yes if it were chickens. They are angry, tiny, stupid dinosaurs that have no trouble on eating their own.
When I was about 6-7 my Dad was a commander of a battalion in the US Army. One night I overheard my parents talking. My Dad told my mother about a couple of young men that he caught with drugs in their living area. He said to her "What do they think I am stupid? I will always know if someone is hiding something that they should not have." It always stayed with me while growing up. Hence I was a really well behaved kid.
I used to believe that social liberalism and economic conservatism could co-exist (a la, Tony Blair's "Third Way", or Bill Clinton's economy), then I started working for the courts and realized that people only have the civil rights/liberties they can afford to pay a lawyer to defend. You want racial/gender/religious equality? Then you have to have government (any disinterested economic actor would do, but let's be serious, the only economic actor that is ever disinterested is government) enforcing anti-monopoly, anti-fraud, progressive taxation and public welfare laws.
"it shines brighter during the day 'cause it's awake and it's dimmer during the night because is like in SleepMode"
My husband is the proud owner of 40,000 "I love my crazy wife," bumper stickers. I already wondered why they came in two packs...
Mash your avocado and mix it with mayo, that way it doesn't slip n slide off your sammich, and you get the yumminess of avocado with every bite.
That a a restaurant, random people will sit at your table and make conversation. Also most places left a pitcher of water there for you.
Star Trek is more peaceful and survivable for normal people, but Mad Max is COOLER...
"When a cop asks you for license and registration, there's no law that says you have to give it to them..."
i can put on as many clothes as i want to get warm, but i can only talk off so much clothing in hot weather before i'm arrested for public nudity
Fill a swimming pool, push Donald Trump into it and video the result.
Funny but not technically correct. You'd become a vacuum cleaner cleaner.
The bride and groom went home with their respective parents and not together
OH MY GOSH...... MY CHILDHOOD.... WHAT IS THIS..... congrats, you just ruined my day
In Portugal it isn't illegal to use drugs - ANY KIND of drugs - or pirating software, music and movies for personal use.
Not true in all butter cases. Just the ones where the company has a lot of brands. Everything is like that. Makeup, shampoo, etc
Had to go to a gay bar to fix their glass washer and on the bottom of the work order it said "all repairmen must enter the rear." I laughed and questioned the owner and he smiled and said he could care less if we followed this rule. He just liked the sound of it. Great guy!
Negotiate yourself to King of the world. This guy knows what he is talking about.
Whoever gets the filing in first gets the patent. See Alexander Graham Bell.
I didn't say no but I did ask if he was serious since we'd only been dating three weeks. We've been married 15 years :)
Did it hurt when you clawed your way up from the fiery depths of Hell to ruin my life?
6th grade math teacher, first day of school, had a "special assembly" in his classroom to yell at all of us. I don't remember why, we hadn't done anything, it was the first day of school. I told my dad what happened and he said it sounded like the teacher just wanted to show who was boss. the guy was insane, he also yelled at us when we were too upset the day after a kid got killed in a horrible traffic accident.
Liam Neeson, now my date has to change his undies and hide under the dvuet for the rest of his life. Socially inept me no longer has to go on a date
Or having a very loud conversation when I'm seriously trying to watch something.
I think you're right. Just like the kids are terrified to pick up the damn phone and make a call.
syrups that go into your coffee are just high fructose corn syrup. there are no "secret recipes," no one has time for that or gives a s**t. the whipped cream also has high fructose corn syrup and it's made from heavy whipping cream. none of the fraps don't have coffee in them unless they have "coffee" or "espresso" in the name, you're just getting syrup and add-ins. The "fruit smoothies" are a very small amount of frozen fruit in sugar syrup, syrup, and milk. The largest part of any drink is milk.
But think of this, if you work mon thru thurs on 10 hr shifts, you could also work on Friday and get over time.
I so want to see the owner! He must've been confused as F**K! "wh... what's happening...? h-h-help?"
" I remember you said, sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead "
whenever i like someone i'm either really awkward or really ferocious acting
So.. a photo of her pussy? Ok, ok, but someone was going to make this joke. It's inevitable. I'm just obeying destiny's laws.
that is called stalking and she should have called the cops on him.
I live in the Netherlands and also eat crickets. What's so weird about it?
already exists. For keeping infant males from pissing on your face, mid-diaper change. Pro-Tip; They hella don't work
I'm a strict parent so this is a crazy terrible thing to have happened bc I watch my kids like crazy but I'm one week my kids broke my moms brew dish washer and laptop. We have no idea how bc there was 3 people in the house at the same time watching them
if I could choose useless charities that are stupid, cos there are some really stupid charities
I'm 28 and I still don't watch the fox and the hound, or the iron giant. They aren't even allowed in my house. My kids have never seen them. They can watch them when they go to college but I don't even want a phone call discussing it. They better call their dad.
Oh - on the plus side -- most prepack sandwiches and sushies are all made at the same commisary, so they're safe to eat even if the convenience store looks sketchy. It's the same sammich as the one at the nicer store, I mean.
As an European I'm amazed that something that dumb exist at all. Here, you would get at least minimal wage AND get tipped IF you were actually doin your job well. I cannot wrap my head around idea that anyone can be tipped for half-assing their job just because it's basically legal to cheat your customer about amount money they need to have to eat in your restaurant. I used to tip real small amount of money when I was poor, but that was always a thank-you to the waiter. Making it a duty cheaps it, like if it was a duty to give a gold medal to everyone for just being alive.
I remember working Night shift at a hotel. 48 hour work weeks. I would have happily worked 2x 24 shifts to get the rest of the week off. Now my work week is 37.5 hours. I'd be happy working two 19 hour days and getting it over with. Would have a lot more time to do stuff I enjoy.
Much less awkward I could think, without having to figure out small talk.
congrats red eyed traveler you have made the list . . . Imma go get some popcorn rn
This is the best article I’ve ever seen on Bored Panda. Given there haven’t been other articles like it, I gather it was an awful lotta work, but oh, how I’d dearly love to read an article like this every day!
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Way to go, Candace. Now his email can be spidered by EVERY SPAMMER ALIVE. Nice way to show your appreciation, you a*s.
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This is the best article I’ve ever seen on Bored Panda. Given there haven’t been other articles like it, I gather it was an awful lotta work, but oh, how I’d dearly love to read an article like this every day!
I know and can recommend a very efficient and trustworthy hacker. I got his email address on Quora , he is a very nice and he has helped me a couple of times even helped clear some discrepancies in my account at a very affordable price. he offers a top notch service and I am really glad I contacted him. He's the right person you need to talk to if you want to retrieve your deleted/old texts,call logs,emails,photos and also hack any of your spouse’s social network account facebook,instagram,snapchat,messenger chats,reddit,telegram and whatsapp, He offers a legit and wide range of hacking services. His charges are affordable and reliable, This is my way of showing appreciation for a job well done. contact him for help via address below.. Email : Leonardomitnickhacking@gmail .com
Way to go, Candace. Now his email can be spidered by EVERY SPAMMER ALIVE. Nice way to show your appreciation, you a*s.
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