Humans are curious creatures and sometimes have more questions than answers. Over the centuries, however, we've accumulated quite a bit of knowledge. So if someone needs a quick fix of information, they can always open the Bible or an encyclopedia. Or reddit. More and more people are turning to /r/AskReddit in search of the truth, and while the responses they get don't always seem scientifically sound, they're hilarious. Want to know how to make friends? Or what was ruined because too many people started doing it? Scroll down to get the answers and upvote your favorites!

(Cover image: Russell Neches)

#1

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swarmleader Report

Randy Inbred 9 months ago

He sounds GREAT!

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#2

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SATexas1 Report

Bella Smith 9 months ago

so true (coughs) Donald trump...

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#3

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Titanosaurus Report

Giorgio Prodoti 9 months ago

true story

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#4

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merlthedog944 Report

Bella Smith 9 months ago

Cracked me up so hard i got in trouble in class for laughing to loud and was getting a number of looks. This is so funny but so smart at the same time!

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#5

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McGician Report

boredhuman 9 months ago

Squirted coffee on my monitor from laughing

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#6

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kolpy99 Report

Hans 9 months ago

I believe this must be pounds, and then it would be 135 kgs to 81 kgs. Does not sound bad!

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#7

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argf00 Report

Hope Floats 9 months ago

I could quite happily live my entire life without any other human contact..Seriously!

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#8

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MrMapleBar Report

Ladies and Gentlemen 9 months ago

Nothing could be more true then this. Just do it if you are alone and want friends, true friends.

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#9

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srrythtusrnmeistken Report

Pandykinz 9 months ago

Way to take one for the team!

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#10

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SamCropper Report

Hans 9 months ago

The world in 2018 with poverty, wars, no actions against pollution, etc. etc., i.e. mankind having all the means but not the will to enable everyone, in particularly future generations, in having a good life.

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#11

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Falstaffe Report

Daria B 9 months ago

Dreadpool

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#12

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optml Report

Pamela24 9 months ago

Oh, that's mean!

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#13

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DrSquigglesMcDiggles Report

Pamela24 9 months ago

Wow! :D Where do you people find time to think about this!

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#14

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ironmanwannabegirl Report

boredhuman 9 months ago

From a man to ladies: you might think the hints you give are very obvious, but they are not! And if you like a man, make the first step yourself. Don't get upset if a man doesn't get your "obvious" hints.

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#15

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Koboldoid Report

Hans 9 months ago

What a horrible thought, and what a waste for that room. I would turn it into a cozy area to play video games that I do not have time for, read the books I always wanted to read, and spend time with loved-ones when days are too stressful.

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#16

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ghegi Report

Cassie 9 months ago

An experiment was recently completed that shows that particles can change upon observation, so this may not be so far fetched after all.

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#17

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justtosubscribe Report

Bella Smith 9 months ago

UMM dont worry im sure thats normal

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#18

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VeeBeeEll Report

Pamela24 9 months ago

I'd get really mad at myself for not having the apartment clean. And also have to resist the urge to kiss him.

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#19

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Lamontc Report

Daria B 9 months ago

But if it's obbligatory, make that test be free of charge, or at least, discounted.

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#20

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Low_town_tall_order Report

Pamela24 9 months ago

Tomatoes, I suspect.

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#21

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iamworsethanyou Report

Randy Inbred 9 months ago

This is happening right now!!!!

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#22

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drleeisinsurgery Report

boredhuman 9 months ago

Julia Roberts would be perfect the Hollywood adaption of this story.

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#23

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waterboatman Report

Randy Inbred 9 months ago

When logic is both a winner and a loser!

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#24

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BICEPSUPREME Report

Hans 9 months ago

R.I.P.

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#25

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Bl4nkface Report

Ladies and Gentlemen 9 months ago

I once asked someone (A non-drinker), what would you possibly do, if you are way to much drunk, Response: I won't remember a thing I guess. Friends for life.

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#26

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hinklesauce Report

Smoofy 9 months ago

This is 100% true

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#27

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Erudite_Delirium Report

CelSlade 9 months ago

Female orgasm

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#28

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sickparadise Report

Bella Smith 9 months ago

stop stop no really seriously wait my god

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#29

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pjabrony Report

birdhouse 9 months ago

Columbus, every time the Flat Earthers open their mouths.

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#30

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aeriat Report

Nadja Lambacher 9 months ago

Well done!

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#31

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Paintap Report

Randy Inbred 9 months ago

Start reading the instruction manuals

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#32

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Baconlightning Report

Rafaella Bueno 9 months ago

I feel like I'm in a foreign culture where everybody knows the customs, the language and how to interact but me, and I'm just here terrified I'm going to try to say something nice but end up calling someone's mother a whore.

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#33

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excusememoi Report

Ben S. 9 months ago

Snort coke.

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#34

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HowAmIGonnaGetAName Report

GiantSpaceTiger 9 months ago

Zimbabwean Dollars. 10 billion is surely going to require more than a briefcase in most other dollar currencies!

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#35

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rutrut1 Report

Hans 9 months ago

Wow...that could have gone really wrong.

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#36

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reddit.com Report

Grumble o'Pug 9 months ago

Matches: Might Light

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#37

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32BitLongSucks Report

Hans 9 months ago

Birthday bl...what?

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#38

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WagnersWorkshop Report

Randy Inbred 9 months ago

I do this with my daughter. I have successfully stopped 'dabbing' and 'flossing' in my house. I hope to progress to stopping her wearing inappropriate clothing when she is a teenager using the same techniques.

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#39

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stevediperna Report

Grumble o'Pug 9 months ago

LMAO!!!!!

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#40

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Dave-Stark Report

Pamela24 9 months ago

My favourite is (translated by me to English so sorry that it might sound like it): A man walks into the surgical ward in a hospital saying: "Hello, I think I'm a moth." A nurse replies: "I'm sorry, this is the surgical ward, psychiatry is on the third floor." "I know but you had the lights on."

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#41

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cninamon Report

Daria B 9 months ago

A fellow Croatian passenger approached me in English in the plane last time and I answered back in English because I couldn't know either. Until the moment he spoke to the flight attendant

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#42

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DoorwayNinja Report

Leah Curtis 9 months ago

awwww

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#43

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jakeruinseverything Report

Richard 9 months ago

I think it would be fun to read all the answers first and the question only at the end.

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#44

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Yoursistersrosebud Report

Master Markus 9 months ago

Paper cut?

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#45

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Jordan1719 Report

Ladies and Gentlemen 9 months ago

Hahahaa.. omg.. that would definitely fck someone's head if you just started living with them.

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#46

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meltedlaundry Report

CelSlade 9 months ago

My sister's cat suddenly seemed to get fatter overnight. We thought it was doing the above until one day we found it fighting with another cat - which looked exactly like it, but thinner. Things went 'click' and we realized we had been feeding an impostor who kept chasing my sister's actual cat off when he tried to come home. Smartest thing I've ever seen an animal do.

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#47

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kshitij_meets Report

birdhouse 9 months ago

I've never been on a plan. Is this a big issue?

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#48

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terrificshitdotcom Report

Jessica Gunn 9 months ago

The one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people eaters....does anyone remember those being everywhere??? Nope...see

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#49

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fdtc_skolar Report

Ruby MacLeod 9 months ago

my primary school decided to take away the rubbish bins because they thought it would mean we would take our rubbish home but it just made us litter more

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#50

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eboody Report

Kjorn 9 months ago

USA autorised all sort of gun in their country but not Toys-Kinder chocolate

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#51

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-LifeOnHardMode- Report

Richard 9 months ago

Thats not true! I'm writing in an e-mail-friendship with 20 of them!

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#52

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user9394 Report

Nicole Matthews 9 months ago

I'm looking forward to the look on Sam's face when I buy a $2 million house and he realizes what he's going to be doing for the next year or so.

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#53

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SamWillsy Report

Jessica Gunn 9 months ago

Restaurant staff that spit in your food....very rare, people think it's common

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#54

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captainmagictrousers Report

birdhouse 9 months ago

Might be some over time = you will work every weekend

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#55

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IbroHI Report

Dowbo 9 months ago

This is currently number 174 and it's the first I properly laughed at!

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#56

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throtic Report

YvanP 9 months ago

Undertaker, everybody dies.

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#57

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Namffohcl Report

MissNiki Hartman 9 months ago

Social anxiety at it's finest. 👏

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#58

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Simmons_Teresa Report

Grumble o'Pug 9 months ago

this should be higher

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#59

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reddit.com Report

GiantSpaceTiger 9 months ago

Xeno would agree.

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#60

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AbbasKubaba Report

Ladies and Gentlemen 9 months ago

Third Degree burn right there.

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#61

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EveryDayRay Report

Rafaella Bueno 9 months ago

Not telling people what you really think of them for the sake of being "polite". I wouldn't need to be so scared of being that annoying person everyone secretly hates but just puts up with if I knew people would just tell me if I was bothering them. Would save both our times and make for an actually pleasant interaction.

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#62

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PanicAtTheMetro Report

Pamela24 9 months ago

Pisa, Italy. But it was in 2002 so I honestly believe it has changed since then.

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#63

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talkinglama Report

Leah Curtis 9 months ago

my great great great great grandparents came here by choice

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#64

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ConroyVanVonvolkvan Report

Rafaella Bueno 9 months ago

Having a product that has quantity like food, drinks or cosmetics, have a big, medium and small sizes, and making the difference in price between the big and the medium considerably smaller than between medium and small so that people will always buy the big, even when they definitely don't really need or want that much, since it's a "much better deal".

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#65

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hypoferramia Report

kaylyn 9 months ago

0-0.....*spits water on computer* -_- touché touché *slow claps*

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#66

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Nikmi Report

Jocelyn Dae 9 months ago

My sister Brooke did this with chocolate chip cookies. She was babysitting for my other sister Shelly who lived above the business they owned. All ingredients were bought in bulk, & were not labeled. Brooke never baked again without tasting both the sugar & the salt.

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#67

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sgursel Report

mbergen 9 months ago

All Dads have those kinda funny @sshole thoughts. I used to want to sneak into my oldest sons room, late at night while he was sleeping, with two flashlights, turn them on and scream 'TRUCK!!'. Sadly I was never allowed and now he's bigger than I am :-)

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#68

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PonyPinatas Report

Jörg Zingler 9 months ago

There are loads of blondes in Spain though......

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#69

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BustyChicken Report

Gabby D 9 months ago

I had my baby 5minute after my water broke. I was in hospital. Unfortunately I was locked in the bathroom at the time. Long story short, I ended up delivering my own baby while about 10 midwives were trying to break the door down. They burst in, with one marine crawling across the floor, to find me holding my son and grinning like an idiot. I don't think I'm allowed to write what nickname my friends gave me after that!

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#70

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Faress21 Report

Thomas Kolev 9 months ago

"Fifty Shades of Grey" by Chuck Palahniuk

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#71

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EldeederSFW Report

Jessica Gunn 9 months ago

I didn't know this kind of stupidity existed ...guess I'm lucky

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#72

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BearsBirdsBooks Report

Randy Inbred 9 months ago

My dad. He died 8 years ago and I still miss him.

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#73

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sharrrp Report

Dnelle1972 9 months ago

I think that's called the Hunger Games...

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#74

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dewayneestes Report

Ben S. 9 months ago

"I think heaven's missing an angel...and you should get your ass back there right now."

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#75

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Lethal_Neutrino Report

UniversalMel 9 months ago

Deep....

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#76

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Zerole00 Report

Justina Garlaitė 9 months ago

well, if a person is killed by a landmine, how many organs there is left to donate?

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#77

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unusuallyuglyoctopus Report

Nicole Matthews 9 months ago

Put it on eBay in France.

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#78

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2cool4life Report

Randy Inbred 9 months ago

Finished jerking off before grandma walked into my room...

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#79

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_JackStraw_ Report

Tiny Dynamine 9 months ago

"Being honest." "I don't think that's a weakness." "I don't give a fuck what you think." Classic joke.

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#80

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MNCPA Report

Lisa Shelton 9 months ago

If your hands swell after touching them they are probably toxic. Might want to avoid licking them.

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#81

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