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If you’ve ever been job hunting, you should be familiar with the pain of creating and/or updating your resume. Making yourself seem appealing by summarizing your work life and educational achievements can be quite a chore, especially for those of us that don’t enjoy boasting. The task can weigh on people so much, it’s often tempting to just send a quick message to the recruiter saying, “I can do this job, give me this job.” However, like many things in this modern world, we do need to go through the whole song and dance about it, with formatting, designing, and peppering it with personality (not too much, though!).

Bored Panda had a chat with Greg Langstaff (TikTokInstagramYouTube), a career coach and job search expert, on the do’s and don’ts of the resumes. This professional with over 620,000 followers on TikTok and 230,000 on Instagram had quite a few hot tips for any job hunter out there, so scroll down to get them.

If you’re in the middle of creating your resume right now and need some tips for what not to do, the collection of posts below will show you what will not get you hired. If you already have a resume and feel unsure about it, the list might help you realize that your efforts are, in fact, quite acceptable. And if you already have a job, scrolling down might make you feel like you should hold on to it as the job market is insane.

#1

Someone Sent Me A Picture Of This Resume. Hire This Man Now

Someone Sent Me A Picture Of This Resume. Hire This Man Now

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Craftsman 64
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9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He had me with his professionalism up until he didn't know how to spell Taupe

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When asked about the most common mistakes job seekers make, Greg Langstaff emphasised that it's not including specific details related to your personal accomplishments. "The last thing you want is a resume that looks like it just has a bunch of job descriptions on it. That only shows the employer "what we did" whereas by adding results and accomplishments, we show them that we're very good at the things they need us to do. The people who do add those accomplishments are the ones getting the interviews."

Another big mistake is jumping straight into the work experience, without any introduction. "Because recruiters and hiring managers take so little time to initially scan our resumes, we need to include "Professional Branding" at the top of our resume which could come in the form of giving ourselves a title (such as "Digital Marketing Expert"), a Professional Summary, an Areas of Expertise Section, or some Career Highlights."

Many employers these days also use resume parsing tools that scan every single application looking for specific keywords, skills, or timelines. They sort the resumes even before a real person has a chance to look through it. This means that if your resume is not easy to parse, it might get weeded out even if you suit all the requirements. So, gather all the keywords that are prominent in your field and make sure to put it in your application

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#2

Read This On An Applicantā€™s Resume

Read This On An Applicantā€™s Resume

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RAM31280
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9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Successfully trained wild husband to perform 1/2 household duties? This woman is a saint, hire her immediately.

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When your resume finally reaches a recruiter, there are ways to make a good impression. For example, make sure that the language you’re using is not too boastful. According to a study published in 2016, recruiters prefer moderate self-promotion. That means stating that you’re good at something and you have relevant experience would do better than saying you’re excellent, the best they can find, and an ideal candidate. In fact, bragging too much can hurt your chances of getting a job, so keep your ego in check.

A tip that follows in a similar vein is tailoring your resume to the specific job you’re applying for. This might mean omitting irrelevant experience and highlighting achievements that bolster your chances to shine. You should also alter your title so it suits the job you’re applying. Addressing some of the specific requirements mentioned in the job posting can also be useful as well as updating your summary to fit the role better.

When it comes to the visual presentation of your resume, Langstaff has a few more tips. "Think about the visual presentation of your resume like you would with a major presentation you were delivering. The information that you're sharing is by far the most important part; however, if you don't make an effort to deliver that in a clear and professional format, people are going to struggle to take the information seriously. Great resume formatting can't get you a job, but bad formatting can cause you to miss out on one."

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#4

Meirl

Meirl

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Johnathan Wilkinson
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9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, to be honest, this just proves that the company you are applying to are a) completely disorganized, b) Have no clue how to use modern software, c) have no idea of how to reduce their staffā€™s workload, and d) they donā€™t give a damn how much extra work their staff have to do as a result of their complete incompetence! Simply do not apply! They will never care about you, your work-life balance, etc.

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Depending on where you live, including a picture in your resume might be a must or a big no-no. In countries such as the US and the UK, including pictures goes against the strict anti-discrimination laws that aim to make hiring processes free from race, age, and gender profiling. The biases that come with presenting a picture were proven back in 1986 when a study concluded that people favor attractive candidates to the less attractive ones. That seemed to be the rule for any job, yet the pattern was especially prevalent when looking at customer-facing positions. 

#7

Someone Sent A Resume With Their Duolingo Streak Under "Languages"

Someone Sent A Resume With Their Duolingo Streak Under "Languages"

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#9

There Was An Attempt To Write A Resume

There Was An Attempt To Write A Resume

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However, one cannot erase discrimination simply by omitting a candidate’s picture; the subconscious biases rear their heads anyway. Take ageism as an example. British Sociological Association states that older applicants are three times less likely to get an interview than younger ones. Yet, surely if you omit the picture and the birth date, you’re back on the leveled playing field, right? Wrong. Two Belgian researchers analyzed the effects of subtle age cues when assessing resumes. They found that people with older-sounding names and dated hobbies were disadvantages during candidate reviews. 

#10

Resume That Was Dropped Today And Impressed My Manager So He Decided To Call Him For An Interview

Resume That Was Dropped Today And Impressed My Manager So He Decided To Call Him For An Interview

je-suis-pauvre Report

#11

Received An Application Today. Here Is The ā€œResumeā€ That Was With It

Received An Application Today. Here Is The ā€œResumeā€ That Was With It

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#12

Some Guy Dropped This Resume Off At My Family's Restaurant Today

Some Guy Dropped This Resume Off At My Family's Restaurant Today

DrSpy Report

Subtle cues of race are also present in candidate applications. An article published by Harvard Business School pointed out real-life cases of students “whitening” their resumes and having better outcomes. Black students, for example, omitted their race when talking about organizations they belong to. One student even decided not to mention a prestigious scholarship they got because it could reveal their race. Asian students admitted to changing their names to Americanized nicknames which led to a better response rate. They also changed their hobbies to those more common in white western culture.

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#13

Maybe The Worst Resume I Have Received

Maybe The Worst Resume I Have Received

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araT sdrawkcaB
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To the point with as few words possible šŸ¤·šŸ¼ā€ā™€ļø

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#14

A Resume My Wife Received This Week

A Resume My Wife Received This Week

"Faith, m
Resume- was working at a trucking company, just got fired for insubordination: not true. looking for upright employer."

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Lemme get the lemons
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know this isn't what they mean but when they said upright employer, they just wanted a two legged boss

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#15

Someone Dropped Off Their Resume Where I Work, I Feel Like I Should Call Them And Let Them Know

Someone Dropped Off Their Resume Where I Work, I Feel Like I Should Call Them And Let Them Know

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With all these biases at play, blind or anonymous recruitment is becoming a more and more popular option. With this type of candidate screening, all the information that a recruiter could be biased about—age, gender, name, sometimes also personal interests and education—is taken out of the resume. This can be done with the help of a software or a dedicated recruiter that later passes it on to the screener. In this way, the information presented is a neat collection of only job-relevant information. This should increase the chances of marginalized candidates. However, this doesn’t mean that biases will not come into play in the later stage of the hiring process.

#16

My Dad Asked For Help Sending His Resume Online And Handed Me This

My Dad Asked For Help Sending His Resume Online And Handed Me This

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#18

Wifeā€™s Employer Received This Resume For A Position. He Got An Interview Because The Manager Couldnā€™t Stop Laughing

Wifeā€™s Employer Received This Resume For A Position. He Got An Interview Because The Manager Couldnā€™t Stop Laughing

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When it comes to writing a good resume, Langstaff, who's written over 1,200 resumes, offers his own strategy that lands his clients jobs. "We read the job postings they're targeting and make a list of the skills mentioned in that job posting. Then we have a discussion to identify when my client has used those skills in their career successfully. Then we fill the resume with bullet points that tell those stories and we mention the skills again in their professional branding. That approach has led to countless people getting promotions, changing careers, escaping toxic workplaces, and landing their dream jobs."

#19

I Dunno If This Guy Was Trolling, But We Received This Resume A While Ago

I Dunno If This Guy Was Trolling, But We Received This Resume A While Ago

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David
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nobody wants to hear about your hard wood on a CV unless you are applying for the adult film industry. /S Homeless, blows with the wind. +5 points for at least being born on this planet.

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#20

One Of My Recruiters Just Received This Resume This Morning

One Of My Recruiters Just Received This Resume This Morning

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RAM31280
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Rick Astley is looking for a job, are the royalty checks not rolling in?

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#21

Why Am I Getting Such An Influx Of People That Act Like This Is Not A Professional Job? Yes, You Need A Resume, And Sorry We Donā€™t ā€œHold Dogs Downā€

Why Am I Getting Such An Influx Of People That Act Like This Is Not A Professional Job? Yes, You Need A Resume, And Sorry We Donā€™t ā€œHold Dogs Downā€

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actap676 avatar
HungryPanda
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't hold dogs down, motivate them! Show them their carrier options, how to plan the future, and be the best canines they can be.

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All in all, resumes are quite a big deal. They can help us forge our path forward but also put us in unfair and unfortunate situations. They make you think whether simple pieces of paper should have such significance in determining our lives. After all, sometimes they are the only thing that another person will ever know about us. Either way, keeping that in mind is important and might prevent you from making the regrettable yet hilarious mistakes people made when creating resumes posted in this list. To witness more similar accidents, check out our posts here and here.

#22

A CV That Was Handed To Me In Work Recently That I Had To Get A Picture Of Before I Passed It On To The Manager

A CV That Was Handed To Me In Work Recently That I Had To Get A Picture Of Before I Passed It On To The Manager

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#23

After Spending The Past Two Weeks Handing Out Resumes, I Just Noticed It Says Excessive Masturbation Under My Hobbies

After Spending The Past Two Weeks Handing Out Resumes, I Just Noticed It Says Excessive Masturbation Under My Hobbies

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karen Young
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

His friends must be dying waiting for him to realize....dying!

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#24

A CV Emailed To The Recruitment Agency I Work For. This Is The Entire Resume And The Blue Is Where His Name Was

A CV Emailed To The Recruitment Agency I Work For. This Is The Entire Resume And The Blue Is Where His Name Was

Nightwingvyse Report

#25

Well, It Definitely Makes An Impression

Well, It Definitely Makes An Impression

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Donkey boi
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't even need to read it, you have an interview and I will MAKE a position for you if I have to

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#26

I Had A Question About Your Resume, Miss

I Had A Question About Your Resume, Miss

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Ample Aardvark
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nevermind the WordArt graphics, all the quotation marks are bothering me far more

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#27

I Once Received This Resume, And I'm Still Uncertain Whether The Person Intended It As A Joke

I Once Received This Resume, And I'm Still Uncertain Whether The Person Intended It As A Joke

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Hippopotamuses
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As the last word on the page, itā€™s too obvious not to have been a joke.

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#29

Give Hulk Job

Give Hulk Job

Funny way to get your name out there. I gotta give this animator some props for guts.

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Cain Hargreaves
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I felt like doing this the last time I was job-hunting. It's frustrating after a while, my dudes.

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#30

My Company Is Hiring. This Was By Far My Favorite Resume. I Mean, Really?

My Company Is Hiring. This Was By Far My Favorite Resume. I Mean, Really?

TheUnbeliever Report

#31

There Was An Attempt To Showcase Language Skills On The CV

There Was An Attempt To Showcase Language Skills On The CV

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HungryPanda
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

French - Fluent, Spanish - Fluent, Manadrin - Beginner, English - Questionable

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#32

We Have Seen A Bad Resume Or Two, But This One Is Quite Special

We Have Seen A Bad Resume Or Two, But This One Is Quite Special

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#34

A Job Recruiter Actually Received This Resume. This Should Go Without Saying, But Don't Do This

A Job Recruiter Actually Received This Resume. This Should Go Without Saying, But Don't Do This

LEGResumeService Report

#35

Just Saw This Resume. I Don't Think They Know What A Reference Is

Just Saw This Resume. I Don't Think They Know What A Reference Is

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David
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had to google "6.5 bands in ielts" but seeing that means they are moderately proficient at English (but not awesome) that makes misunderstanding the reference part more understandable.

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#36

Presenting My 2004 Resume. "They'll Hire Me For Sure". They Didn't

Presenting My 2004 Resume. "They'll Hire Me For Sure". They Didn't

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Lydsylou
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The actual resume (if we ignore the spelling) isn't horrendous but that picturešŸ˜¬

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#37

Our Company Received This Resume From An Applicant Today

Our Company Received This Resume From An Applicant Today

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#38

This Kid Tried Applying At My Store The Other Day. He Used Tupac As The Background Of His Resume

This Kid Tried Applying At My Store The Other Day. He Used Tupac As The Background Of His Resume

iamthebeefeater Report

#39

This Is An Actual Resume That I Received Today

This Is An Actual Resume That I Received Today

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#40

Probably Best Not To Include That On Your Resume

Probably Best Not To Include That On Your Resume

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Jaya
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In some clubs, when you're hired as a dancer, then standing in high places (like on tables/piano) so the audience can see you dance, is exactly what you're supposed to do. Out of context it sounds like someone who is just wild/drunk, but their job description above says 'dancer', so it's silly to assume something different.

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#41

Local Company Received This Resume. I Bet They Hired Him On The Spot

Local Company Received This Resume. I Bet They Hired Him On The Spot

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Hazel Sage
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Am I the only one who finds this creepy? Admittedly, though, that last line made me laugh!

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Note: this post originally had 106 images. Itā€™s been shortened to the top 41 images based on user votes.