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50 Of The Most Hilariously Awkward Conversations Parents Ever Had With Their Kids
Kids say the darndest things! No, really, they do. And their parents are more than happy to share their words of wisdom and wit with the world.
One of the things that we really miss the most about being a kid is the sense of freedom we had. Until a certain age, you could pretty much say whatever was on your mind and you’d entertain everyone around you. Try doing that now and you might hear the crickets chirp!
Our team here at Bored Panda has collected some of the silliest, slightly awkward, and wonderfully hilarious conversations that parents have ever had with their children. Scroll down to check out their tweets, upvote your faves, and let us know which ones you found the funniest. Oh, and be warned: the cuteness is off the charts in some of these tweets.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Sylvia_SilverVampire 2 years ago
I put my tattoos on all by myself because I am a big girl!
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2 years ago (edited)
all i can think of while reading this post is the pull ups theme song "i'm a big kid now".. help
Stephanie Blount 2 years ago
I love that the mum said it was okay to ask. She new OP would get a kick out of it
Alexandra Davis 2 years ago
I had a kid ask me that before, how funny would it be if it was this persons kid?!
Shelli Aderman 2 years ago
Unless you own the tumbler from the original post, probably not… 😉
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RELATED:
#2
Michael Largey 2 years ago
A thermos bottle keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. How does it know?
tuzdayschild 2 years ago
You can't make up the way kids perceive a things. Their little minds go down paths we can't even find.
#3
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 2 years ago
Right up there with the "Let's see who can stay quiet the longest game".
Seonag Udell 2 years ago
Love this game, before I had my daughter I would play the quiet game with just my husband,he always lost.
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CosmcCookie 2 years ago
Reminds me of that one Calvin and Hobbes strip where his dad told him the food has nuclear waste that would make him a mutant
Michael Phillips 2 years ago
Yes I love that one! "Ah, I can feel it working."
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Mark Zaricor 2 years ago
Our oldest would only eat chicken, so we had beef chicken, pork chicken, and his favorite: tofu chicken.
tuzdayschild 2 years ago
That's what I'm talking about. You have to make it work any way you can.
It’s everyone’s choice whether or not to create a family. There are lots of upsides and downsides to raising kids, just as there are with the ‘childfree’ lifestyle.
However, many parents will tell you that creating a family is one of the most fulfilling things that you can do with your life.
#4
Benita Valdez 2 years ago (edited)
Ha ha. My nephew did this during covid lockdown when we cod onky facetime; "oh no auntie, you ok? I got you" and then kissed the phone "all better"
Phil Green 2 years ago
I don't think that's dumb! It's awesome she associates the phone with her Grandma. Our cat always comes running when I call my wife at home. She sits and miaows because she knows it's me and she wants me home.
#5
Momma Panda 2 years ago
Ok, but how do you manage to do that? You put them down at 4PM? Or this person lives somewhere where there's polar light/night..
Saggi 2 years ago
Yeah, in Australia it’s impossible the sun goes down at either 5 o’clock or 8:30, the time system here is f****d up i swear
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#6
Headless Roach 2 years ago
That's actually next level, with Turkey being a country too
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Jason 2 years ago
I guess growing up rural is a little different. My son tells the chickens to watch out or we will eat them.
kews 2 years ago
My husband's a butcher, so similar thing. Our kids have always known where their meat comes from.
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Justaboredpotato 2 years ago
My struggle was with steak- my parents told me they didn't actually come from cows but from fake ones. They only told me the truth a year ago
Neurodivergent 2 years ago
I remember my daughter trying to explain that chicken nuggets was a different entity than the animal chicken. She couldn't do it
Moya Satterwhite 2 years ago
Imagine my horror when I found out the rabbit we had for dinner, is the one I’d played with next door when it was a baby.
SweetCheesySpaghetti 2 years ago
My son asked me "Why are they called chicken nuggets if they aren't shaped like chickens?" And thus began the longest conversation I've ever had about food.
Karen Startz Richardson 2 years ago
I remember being "informed as a kiddo" that the yummy fried chicken Mom had cooked for dinner...was a "dead chicken". I remember promptly putting that piece of chicken into my plate. Lol... :O
Biana Weatherford 2 years ago
One of my daughters, when tasting venison for the first time, asked what animal this used to be. She was 5. We told her. "Like Bambi?" OMG, parents tremble, waiting for it all to come crashing down. "Bambi tastes good."
The day-to-day challenges might seem huge, it can be exhausting at times, and it’s a drain on your finances. You are literally responsible for tiny human beings, and if you don't feed bathe, and clothe them, nobody else will. It's a lot of pressure.
But all of it is worth it. And silly conversations that lead to likes on Twitter are just the tip of the iceberg.
#7
Laurie B 2 years ago
In my country we don't have the toothe fairy, we have "the little mouse" ("la petite souris"). Maybe it's what they meant?
Jessica Bertram 2 years ago
you also have flying bells at easter, instead of creepy people in horrifying bunny suits. i love your country.
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Stardust she/her 2 years ago
In my middle school class, the equivalent of flat earth was “reflection deniers” who believed that mirrors didn’t reflect.
Peter Parker 2 years ago
Same level of intelligence, but at least the kindergarteners will grow and learn..
(Un)Inspired Aspiring Author 2 years ago
Reminds me of a sentence I got on Duolingo once: Möss finns inte.
AngelWingsYT 2 years ago
Kinda wanna hear the deniers side im honestly curious why they think this
#8
WonderWoman 2 years ago
Child is going to be friendless VERY soon, just like the parents he is mimicking.
Justaboredpotato 2 years ago
Yep! I didn't notice till I read your comment
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#9
LonelyLola 2 years ago
lmao!!! this one had me in tears... lol give the boy credit for trying ;)
Emie N. 2 years ago (edited)
We don't know if the 9 year old is a boy...... edit: just found out the kid is a girl on reddit.
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Valerie soto-burkett 2 years ago
That is a great play on words & hilarious!!!
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Stannous Flouride 2 years ago
I'll never be able to say eucalyptus without remembering this. And I say it every time I give a tour.
A while ago, Bored Panda had a lovely chat about parenting challenges with single mom, comedy writer, and design expert Ariane Sherine.
She told us during an interview, earlier, quite candidly that parenting is “very hard work” but very much worth it. “Trust me on that.”
“Being a mum has improved my life immeasurably and taught me to put another person first and think of their needs before my own," she said.
#10
#11
Couldnt_find_a_decent_name 2 years ago
Most relatable thing I’ve seen today, as a fellow introverted teen (guess they aren’t a teen yet but close enough)
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago
Hi from a socially anxious amnivert who acts pretty introverted teen!
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#12
meow point1 2 years ago
I never sneeze into my elbow; I use a tissue instead. Don't want my sleeve covered in allergy snot.
An important aspect of being successful at parenting is actually wanting to be a parent.
“I truly believe that's essential to being a good parent. If you don't love the thought of being a mum or dad, you're likely to resent having to put your children first. Secondly, that love for them is what powers you through the difficult times—and there will be difficult times. So do it because you know your life wouldn't be complete if you don't,” mom Ariane told us.
#13
Douglas Gilanyi 2 years ago
There are like only seven occasions in life where that ISN'T the first rule.
Justaboredpotato 2 years ago
Also, don't spit in your food! That's a rule of cooking and eating
Auntie Bear 2 years ago
Why was I never taught this?! I've been doing it wrong this whole time!
#14
Dan Padgett 2 years ago
This one gets reposted so much. It's funny but it's worn off super fast.
JuniorCJ82 2 years ago
How many more lists is this thing gonna be on? This is at least the 12th or 13th time this year.
Michelle C 2 years ago
Those parents are probably going to have much healthier teeth than many other people around them!
#15
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 2 years ago
Salary from the latin word for salt. Salt was such an important commodity then that people were literally paid in it. It's were we get the phrase "not worth his salt".
Doofenshmirtz Evil, Inc 2 years ago
One time i wrote an essay abt celery!!
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Michael Largey 2 years ago
Chances are, kid, that when you get around to getting a salary, you won't be that enthused about it either.
“Plenty of people are very happy and fulfilled without being parents. It just so happens that I wouldn't have been one of them, but that doesn't mean it's not a perfectly valid life choice,” she said, adding that you shouldn’t have kids just because of societal expectations or to ‘tick a box.’
#16
Birgit Sommer 2 years ago
You should have seen me ordering a Fajita for the first time as a German. Saying that word out loud sounds like "Verhueter", which is basically a condom.... Same with order Sierra Mist as a drink. The German word for "Mist" is "c**p".
#17
Smokey Too 2 years ago
I'm absolutely killing myself laughing at these, tears streaming down my cheeks!
SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago
To my future kids who refuse sunscreen later on: SUN!!! GEEEEETTTTT THEEEEEEEMMMMMM!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA XP
#18
Salmon Shark/Forbidden pupper 2 years ago (edited)
Interesting question. Let’s find out! Edit: I think my burns have burns.
LK 2 years ago
There's a Terry Pratchett story, "Guards, Guards". A runty little dragon, Errol, isn't able to breath fire, but learns to how 're-arrange his plumbing' to fart fire. He becomes the first super-sonic dragon, with this botty providing the jet-propulsion.
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 2 years ago
Ah, yes, Terry Pratchett. For more mildly inappropriate a comedy, look no further than Nobby Nobbs.
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Carol Emory 2 years ago
Ya know...I missed that course in college. I was totally ripped off!!!
"Your kid will probably grow out of whatever behavior they're displaying now. The first four years are the most difficult. But at age 4, they go to school, and then you get your life back a bit, for at least six hours a day,” Ariane said that parents shouldn’t despair too much about having to sacrifice too much.
#19
Stephanie A Mutti 2 years ago
My brother at 20y/o saw real reindeer for the first time and straight-facedly asked if they can fly too.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 2 years ago
Bats are not only real, they're crazy cool. They can fly like birds, they use echolocation like dolphins, and they're cute to boot. If I ever became a rich eccentric, I would keep bats as pets.
Benita Valdez 2 years ago
My nephew was shocked that narwhals were real; "you mean sea unicorns exist?!?!"
Wondering Alice 2 years ago
I grew up before Google. Always assumed narwhals were made up
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Wondering Alice 2 years ago
Somehow parrots came up in conversation with my nephew, he did not believe me about taking birds so I showed him some on YouTube. He then tried to explain to me about fake videos and hoxes. I gave up
meow point1 2 years ago
I remember being a kid and being surprised that tigers were real when I saw one at the zoo.
Garry Cowan 2 years ago
When we where kids my younger brother who is now close to 50 years old now thought snakes where only in movies and didn't really exist ..I've never let him forget that
#20
Jason 2 years ago
Rule #1 of toddler never have them blow on your food or take a sip out of your cup.
Bobby 2 years ago
Yup if they take a sip of my water it becomes their water immediately. I just get a new cup
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Carol Emory 2 years ago (edited)
Back when Chick-fila had breakfast platters, I'd gotten one with fried chicken & biscuits/gravy. My toddler son came over and looked at it. "Do you want a bite?" He nodded. Gave him a bite of the biscuits and gravy. He walked a few steps and turned around with a sour look on his face. "You don't like it?" He walked over, I held out a napkin for him to spit it out in...but instead he spits it back all over the rest of the platter. Thanks a lot kid..... Time for cereal.
Stephanie A Mutti 2 years ago
You can't share a bottle with a toddler unless you prefer your water chunky.
UselessKnowledgeFont 2 years ago
Yeah, my nephew did this with either mine or his birthday cake and a ton of spit at age 2. Ugh
#21
Wondering Alice 2 years ago
My sister was told if anything happened, she was to go next door to get help (mum was having difficult pregnancy with me) so anyway when my mum went in to hospital and my dad was home with my sister, he electrocuted himself. Sister ran next door for help. Help with what? Seems that had not been covered, so she went with breakfast. Poor dad left alone for almost a day.
poiplescales 2 years ago
I would have wondered where the kid's guardian was but maybe that's just me?
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Jessica Massie 2 years ago
And so depends, my parents made me go over and over as a teeny kid what to do if there is was a problem with my mom and her second pregnancy. Maybe it's generational? Could I have done it? Luckily we didn't have to find out.
“See if you can get some help each week, whether that's grandparents doing a bit of childcare or paying a childminder. Use the extra time to exercise self-care and pamper yourself, whether that means having a massage or just a soak in the bath—do things you wouldn't be able to do while looking after your child."
#22
Randolph Croft 2 years ago
I know a guy with 'duelling banjos' on his phone tied to a one push app. who taps it whenever someone is doing something weirdly stupid.
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hot_noodle_soup 2 years ago
the husband is asking his wife if their kids are a product of incest because the kid isn’t the smartest
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Pamela Blue 2 years ago
OMG that took me about 3 seconds to get and then I spit my tea over my keyboard! LOL!
#23
waddles 2 years ago
i remember discreetly buttering the bottom of my toast praying my mother wouldn’t turn around
Benita Valdez 2 years ago
"I want pizza with no cheese". Ok buddy don't worry, no cheese. My nephew wanted cheese pizza but insisted on calling it pizza with no cheese
Eric Moseman 2 years ago
My long ago toddler daughter would always ask for more toast. Knowing she would not eat more, I would just cut each piece in half. She would say thank you, and munch away. I miss those days.
Rob D 2 years ago
I used to insist the jelly bee on top of a pb&j. I'm pretty sure I fallen for this a bunch.
Gypsy Lee 2 years ago
There is a difference between dumb & gullible (& here come the online dictionary dictators).. the difference is the intention of the speaker. In this instance the speaker chose likes over their own child’s innocence & trust. - Funny story, bad choice of words. - careless words like this just bug me. It’s a thing.
Michelle Brandt 2 years ago
Nope, mine are too smart...this one would never fly. It'd be hilarious to watch the reactions tho.
Having support from your loved ones is a life-changer. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, have an honest chat about how you feel with your partner, your parents, or your friends. Vent a bit, ask for advice if you feel like you need some. But if it becomes overwhelming, don’t be afraid to reach out to a counselor for some help. They might be able to guide you better, helping you refocus on parenting challenges from a fresh new perspective.
#25
RezFidel 2 years ago
THIS IS THE BEST. From now on I will carry emergency confetti and emergency glitter in my pockets...
GingerPanda 2 years ago (edited)
And in the case of glitter, you can also use it in bad emergencies to blind your enemies!
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#26
Kayla Albert 2 years ago
Legitimate question like for me if I said vanilla they would know not very much but if I said black cherry! Whole different story lol
#27
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 2 years ago
Maybe they mixed up perish with PARISH. Parish: an area cared for by one priest with its own church
Ashley Schriber 2 years ago
Well, some Christians do call church jurisdictions parishes. I can see how that would get confusing for a kid.
"You might not feel as though you're doing a great job, but is your kid fed, clothed, warm, safe, happy and loved? Then you're doing brilliantly—cut yourself some slack," mom Ariane told Bored Panda that parents need to let go of the idea that they can be ‘perfect.’
#28
Unproductive Panda #3 2 years ago
These are the kinds of things I go to sleep thinking about...
Gay-Trash-Panda 2 years ago (edited)
...wait. it eats bugs... wait...but... [edit: they are cuz they eat bugs and small animals and are omnivores. i think? wait... but they...] {edit no.2 they are predators and prey i think. wait...}
#29
TheElderNom 2 years ago
If you take too long to find them my sisters kids will announce we're they are, too long is maybe more than minute, but not much more.
#30
Cyber Returns 2 years ago
This is the moment you realize the birds and the bees talk comes after the talk about appropriate timing
Sherie Smith 2 years ago
The appropriate timing is when they ask since lying is always inappropriate. And children need to know what a penis and vagina are way before they ask where do babies come from so either way they have a chance to say it "at the wrong time".
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Jason 2 years ago
Going through target one day my son saw a picture of a lady in a bikini walking past the swim ware isle. All of the sudden he turned into a conservative preacher. Started shouting about how she's naked and has to put on clothes and she's going to get in trouble. I was trying to explain to him it's just a swim suit. Then he started yelling they would see her p***s but she's a girl. Then immediately started pointing out people who he thought had a p***s loudly specifying if he thought they did or didn't
Samyan Elrod 2 years ago
Reading this at 10pm laughing my a**e off and praying my dad doesn't come in
Load More Replies... Stolas 2 years ago
this is a perfect representation of me arguing w my ADHD and my ADHD not listening. i was in the car w my mom yesterday and i said, for no reason, "cººchie"
meow point1 2 years ago
You say that like you're joking, but there really is a song that goes, "Don't be stupid, don't play dumb, vagina's where you're really from."
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 2 years ago
The nation stands as one and asks "Where's the YouTube video?" (And when does the single drop?)
Elladine DesIsles 2 years ago
Reminds me the year I realized I should have waited until after Pride to teach my toddler the words for body parts... Could have been worse, though, he mostly walked around exclaiming, "Whoa, big nipples!" Sadly, did not result in a meet-cute story for this queer, single mom.
Do we have any Parent Pandas in the article with us today? We’d love to hear about the most peculiar things that you’ve ever overheard your munchkins say. Feel free to share them in the comments! Do you have any tips that you'd love to share with new parents? We're sure everyone could use a wise word or two (or just some support) to make things easier.
#31
TailsFangirl03 2 years ago
My little brother recently discovered that hot also means pretty and is going around calling girls in his class, my mom, and me, hot. ...He's eight.
Mommy Panda 2 years ago
Like the time we brought our 4 yr old to school and the teacher asked her how she was doing. She responded being upset because daddy wanted to "play" with mommy the night before and she wasn't allowed to join... 😶
Wietse Pot 2 years ago
If romantic comedies have taught me one thing, it's that kids can be great wingmen.
Birgit Sommer 2 years ago
My 4 year old walked up to a perfect stranger at the supermarket and asked him if he was her daddy. I was like WTH made you ask him that? Her daddy was at home and just fine. Her answer? Cuz he has the same hair as daddy, so he might be her daddy too. Husband had a unique blonde hair color and style.
#32
CP 2 years ago
If you have an only child and your own master bathroom, a kid could definitely have their own bathroom.
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Gay-Trash-Panda 2 years ago
i did when i was 12 but i shared it with 2 siblings cuz my parents had one in their bedroom upstairs and we had one upstairs next to our rooms and we had an everyone bathroom downstairs
#33
Moya Satterwhite 2 years ago
My four year old came crying to me, I flushed granpaul and the babies, his imaginary friends, down the toilet. I had to tell him not to worry, they float.
#34
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
Constant question to my husband who can never find anything, "Do you LOOK look, or did you MAN look"? The concept of actually moving something aside has just never occurred to him.
#35
Saggi 2 years ago
Well i mean, if you think about it, both don’t eat meat, right? (I’m sorry the internet has ruined my brain)
Birgit Sommer 2 years ago (edited)
My 6 year old slightly overweight niece was getting a bicycle for her birthday. She said it's for "extrasize". I found that super-smart! lol
Well-Dressed Wolf 2 years ago
Sad that a 6-year-old is overweight at all. I have cousins who were morbidly obese by the age of 12. For my family, it’s entirely the adults’ fault :(
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#36
Snorkeldorf 2 years ago
My daughter and I were playing "got your nose". When it was my turn I thought I'd be clever so I popped the pretend nose in my mouth and swallowed it. She burst into tears. I gave myself the pretend heimlich and gave it back to her. She laughed and the game continued.
#37
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 2 years ago
All noses are weird. Seriously, why are they shaped that way? Why do we have two nostrils? Why not one or three? Our ears and eyes are on either sides of our faces so we can hear/see what's around us, but I can't smell something with my left nostril and not smell it with my right.
material panda 2 years ago
this happened when I was a kid. me and my mom staring in the mirror. Me: why do I have flat eyebrows and you have round ones? Mom: I don’t know. *long pause* me: I think I like the flat kind better
#38
Rylee Evergreen🦋 2 years ago
hey don't u hate on broccoli, pop that in the microwave or oven with some garlic salt and butter and i dare u to tell me u don't like it ;)
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Rylee Evergreen🦋 2 years ago
bruh I was so confused about how that related until I checked who posted the tweet XD
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Billie Templeton 2 years ago
Difficulties with loud sounds and weird textures (broccoli) bring Autism to mind, for me.
#39
Salmon Shark/Forbidden pupper 2 years ago
This is straight from a comic. Right down to the last line.
Ace Girl 2 years ago
The artist said her comic was inspired by this tweet. 🐱
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Colin Brackenridge 2 years ago
My wife once asked for some Reese's penis instead of pieces. She was 28 at the time.
BluEyedSeoulite 2 years ago
I'll never get over how many times I hear, "I like penis" when teaching "I like" sentences. Or "Penis is my favorite planet" during certain lessons...
MellonCollie 2 years ago
My toddler: Faak! FAAK NO!! We: ?!?!?!? Toddler: points at toy dragon. (In Dutch: "draak") We: 😅
Ashley Schriber 2 years ago
Heh. When I watched ET and heard the girl call her brother "penis breath," my mother tried to convince me she said "peanut breath." She was not successful.
#40
thatlesbiantacocat 2 years ago
What . . .pshhhhhhh, don't you remember, you were free. You know Mabel guessing you were 15 pounds or whatever. 🤭😁
Load More Replies... Saggi 2 years ago
This reminds me of a post a saw a few days ago, “I have figured it out! So you know how things expand when they are hot. I’m not fat, I’m just too hot!”
24 mentally unstable can tabs* 2 years ago
I'd guess pounds because it can be money or weight? So the confusion makes more sense there idk
Load More Replies... Heather Talma 2 years ago
This is either a very petite child, a very eloquent child, or measured in kilograms.
SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago
*Que Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase Jr's WWE theme* Priceless. Oh baby I'm Priceless. Ain't no number that could buy the power I possess. XD
#41
️ saturn the furry (she/they) 2 years ago
That would be keefe if Cassius and Gisela were fighting
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Cookie 2 years ago
I’ve seen this on bp 5 times, attributed to 5 different people. It’s not real :)
#42
Rylee Evergreen🦋 2 years ago
heh heh heh. heh heh heh. *nervous laughter*
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#44
#45
#46
#47
XenoMurph 2 years ago
Yes, one of the highest rates of suicide. They go into the profession to save animals, but spend half their time "putting them down"
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#48
BluEyedSeoulite 2 years ago
Either that kid has worse eyes than me or someone was dumb and bought a kid expensive frames. My lenses were $300 and my mom chose the cheapest frames available, we had to pay for the frames. Insurance only covered lenses.
Me 2 years ago
Is that in America? In the UK, most frames are free for under-16s.
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Serenity Now! 2 years ago (edited)
Sigh...go to the garbage and get them out and wash them in warm soapy water. Problem solved.
ThreeAngryLlamas 2 years ago
Unless he threw them out at school or something. There's more than one garbage in a child's life, usually.
Load More Replies... Candy Cane 2 years ago
I think like anything else, it entirely depends on location and type and ton of other things. I have fairly bad eyesight, but the largest chunk of my eye doctor bill is just the exam.
Diana Pahule 2 years ago
As an adult my lenses are stupid expensive, as are any frames I actually like. When I was a kid I wouldn't wear my glasses because they were ugly.
Frank Miller 2 years ago
Really? $400 for glasses for a 6-year-old? I'm struggling with that one.
#49
waddles 2 years ago
i thought they were popping fireworks for me! it wasn’t my birthday, i was just that awesome
Bill Marsano 2 years ago
I told my 5-yo grandson that I was the model for the sailor boy on Cracker Jack boxes. He lit up and ask "Are you a celebrity?" I told him, No, I'm a cultural icon.
#50
Anyone-for-tea? 2 years ago
I just looked it up, apparently it means wanking, but with gusto! I think that’s a bit mean not to tell a 10yr old what it means, they’ll be old enough to remember that no one told them and be embarrassed about it.
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Peppy 2 years ago
God I’m so naive, I thought it was like kick starting a big bike like a Harley
PolymathNecromancer 2 years ago
It would, in its literal sense, mean exactly that, tbh. But not figuratively for sure. And, having been befriended by bikers in my late teens and early twenties, I can assure you that the addition of the "with gusto" part suggests to me that the two concepts are likely tied together somehow......
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David 2 years ago
I had to google what it means. I had a pretty good idea but I wanted to be sure before I start working it into casual conversations.
LA Murphy 2 years ago (edited)
Trying to imagine how you would work this into a conversation....unless it's on a list of euphemisms for polishing wood. Here's a look at the best. https://mashable.com/article/masturbation-slang-euphemisms-list
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Diana Pahule 2 years ago
I suspect I know, but I'm just going to pretend I never heard it. I have the ability to forget things within seconds.
#51
Benita Valdez 2 years ago
Noone has better hearing than a child when you try to speak low enough for them not hear; they hear everything!
Bored&InSchool 2 years ago
yeah I'm not even nearly that young but sure enough, I can hear almost everything said around me that's not being said directly to me, and then I go half-deaf the moment someone is actually speaking to me... f*****g dammit lol
Load More Replies... Bored&InSchool 2 years ago
I have ears like that. and have heard my father curse under his breath on occasion. not once have I been able to blame him for doing so ha.
#52
Nat of Clan P 2 years ago
I'd have sworn this was my kid until I saw 4 yr old. He's 11 and always telling me I chat too much. haha.
#53
GingerPanda 2 years ago
My sister did that to me and I successfully argued that I wasn't dumb enough to write my own name on the wall.
Load More Replies... TheBelgianSteve 2 years ago
Up there with "No Daddy, I didn't eat the chocolate" with a face full of black smudges
Mulberry Juice 2 years ago
And the “I didn’t touch the cake” with icing covered hands
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#54
Mulberry Juice 2 years ago
HOW DARE THEY DISGUISE A *shudder* CHICKEN QUESADILLA AS A PANCAKE?!?!
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#56
Nat of Clan P 2 years ago
I remember being little and telling my mum that when she dies, I want to die too as don't ever want to be without her. I'm pretty sure this is where this 3 yo was going. Lol.
#57
#58
Twinbowser 2 years ago
Extra wishes! It *almost* makes up for the bad bits…😅 (I’m currently in the process of getting a diagnosis)
Load More Replies... LK 2 years ago
Oh, I'm definitely doing this from now on! Just hope my wish is never for some loo paper.
Shaun Fisher 2 years ago
The paper is how you know if your wish will come true.
Load More Replies... #59
TheBelgianSteve 2 years ago
Until the kid wonders why she can't give birth to her chicken nuggets...
XenoMurph 2 years ago
Well, "give birth" is a bad description, but ... they do come out.
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bibbitybobbityboop 2 years ago
Yeah it’s best to teach ur kid about these things
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#61
Samyan Elrod 2 years ago
Ooh so that's how we get around the censors! Noice
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#63
TheBelgianSteve 2 years ago
Hats off for the determination to answer all questions accurately!
Sol Connor 2 years ago
Well for the sake of accuracy, it would be more like a month. The longer the number it is, the more time it takes to say it. We worked it out in our maths class once.
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#65
VonBlade 2 years ago
Depends if I'm stuck playing for the Bruins or Flyers, or if I'm allowed to be on a less detestable team.
Miss Mali 2 years ago
Right ON, it should be against the law to be a flyers fan unless ur were born in or currently live in philly!!!
Load More Replies... #66
#69
Jason 2 years ago
Recently I made home made tomato sauce from the garden for pasta. Had half a lemon on the table from earlier. As soon as I set the bowl down my toddler son squeezed the entire lemon in his. Takes a bite and tells me it's too sour. I told him it's because of the lemon. He asks me why I put so much in.
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What do you think ?
brandyy17 2 years ago
2 times i can remember vividly. i was 3. my dad came home from work he said hello to me and all i said was "get outta my house". i did not want to b disturbed while watching rugrats. the other time was wen i was 5. me and my mom were at the bank and there was a woman who was quite overweight infront of us. i shouted "mom that lady is wearing a really big dress" i remember my mom looking horrified and apologizing to the woman. she laughed and turned to me and said "my dress is big because i m" i simply asked y she responded with "i eat alot of junk food. eat good healthy food and stay pretty ok?" i answered with "but u look pretty". at 5 years old i was rude and nice to 1 woman in the same day. she ended up being my 5th grade teacher and she lost alot of weight i barely recognized her. by then u understood the whole overweight thing. wen i saw she was my teacher i said "u still look pretty" she instantly remembered me and it was the best school year ever.
Rider 2 years ago (edited)
ME: ask me anything. DAUGHTERS: What's masturbation? ME: It's one of those pleasures in life you have to discover for yourself. DAUGHTERS: ...(blank stares) ME: watch the movie
Lona Embree 2 years ago
While traveling with my 4 year old grandson, we stopped at a truck stop to eat. His dad was a trucker. He stood up in the seat and looked out the window at a field and LOUDLY exclaimed " I love hookers momaw". Giggles all around the restaurant. I choked and said, "That's nice. Now let's talk lower. Loudly again, "When I grow up, I am going to get lots of hookers." Full out laughing now. I said, "Honey let's not talk so loud and let these truckers eat their meal in peace." He shouted again, " It's okay. Truckers like hookers." Customers are busting now in laughter. So I shouted out he means Horses, Horses not hookers. Our meal was paid for by some trucker who said he hadn't laughed so hard in a long time.
Natalie H 2 years ago
We went to an educational presentation about elephants (💖) when my kids were little. One of the elephants was *obviously* male. One of my kids kept asking me very loudly why that elephant had two trunks. Of course then my other kids noticed. Finally I whispered what it was so they’d be quiet and they didn’t believe me. They insisted it was too big to be what I said it was, so it had to be a trunk. They then began whispering questions and observations…. What did he do with that extra truck? Did he use it for feeding his friends? Maybe it was for holding hands with his kids while his trunk was busy. Everyone around us was snickering & laughing . 🤦🏻♀️ The conversation on the way home was about penises and being polite.
Bonnie Parker 2 years ago
My 8 yo was eating summer sausage the other day and exclaimed, "i love sausage! Next year i want a sausage party for my birthday!!!" ....no honey, youre gonna have to wait until youre older for that.
brandyy17 2 years ago
2 times i can remember vividly. i was 3. my dad came home from work he said hello to me and all i said was "get outta my house". i did not want to b disturbed while watching rugrats. the other time was wen i was 5. me and my mom were at the bank and there was a woman who was quite overweight infront of us. i shouted "mom that lady is wearing a really big dress" i remember my mom looking horrified and apologizing to the woman. she laughed and turned to me and said "my dress is big because i m" i simply asked y she responded with "i eat alot of junk food. eat good healthy food and stay pretty ok?" i answered with "but u look pretty". at 5 years old i was rude and nice to 1 woman in the same day. she ended up being my 5th grade teacher and she lost alot of weight i barely recognized her. by then u understood the whole overweight thing. wen i saw she was my teacher i said "u still look pretty" she instantly remembered me and it was the best school year ever.
Rider 2 years ago (edited)
ME: ask me anything. DAUGHTERS: What's masturbation? ME: It's one of those pleasures in life you have to discover for yourself. DAUGHTERS: ...(blank stares) ME: watch the movie
Lona Embree 2 years ago
While traveling with my 4 year old grandson, we stopped at a truck stop to eat. His dad was a trucker. He stood up in the seat and looked out the window at a field and LOUDLY exclaimed " I love hookers momaw". Giggles all around the restaurant. I choked and said, "That's nice. Now let's talk lower. Loudly again, "When I grow up, I am going to get lots of hookers." Full out laughing now. I said, "Honey let's not talk so loud and let these truckers eat their meal in peace." He shouted again, " It's okay. Truckers like hookers." Customers are busting now in laughter. So I shouted out he means Horses, Horses not hookers. Our meal was paid for by some trucker who said he hadn't laughed so hard in a long time.
Natalie H 2 years ago
We went to an educational presentation about elephants (💖) when my kids were little. One of the elephants was *obviously* male. One of my kids kept asking me very loudly why that elephant had two trunks. Of course then my other kids noticed. Finally I whispered what it was so they’d be quiet and they didn’t believe me. They insisted it was too big to be what I said it was, so it had to be a trunk. They then began whispering questions and observations…. What did he do with that extra truck? Did he use it for feeding his friends? Maybe it was for holding hands with his kids while his trunk was busy. Everyone around us was snickering & laughing . 🤦🏻♀️ The conversation on the way home was about penises and being polite.
Bonnie Parker 2 years ago
My 8 yo was eating summer sausage the other day and exclaimed, "i love sausage! Next year i want a sausage party for my birthday!!!" ....no honey, youre gonna have to wait until youre older for that.
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