Belgian Guy Documents Ugly Houses He Sees And They’re So Bad, It’s Hilarious (30 New Pics)
Interview With OwnerLongtime readers will know that for whatever reason, Belgium has a thing for particularly ugly houses. These buildings contain design choices so bizarre that they are almost a subgenre of architectural photography online. Cheap, ramshackle buildings are one thing, but here most homes contain what appear to be deliberate, albeit confusing design choices made by someone who had other options.
The “Ugly Belgian Houses” (it’s in the name) Instagram account gathers the best (or worst) examples of home and yard design from the Western European country. We also reached out to Hannes Coudenys, the man who manages the page. So upvote the most heinous offenders and comment your theories on what was going through the architect's head.
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Felix The Housecat
Ugly Belgian House On A Budget
I mean, narrow architecture is cool, but why aren't there any windows? I feel like this could be someone's kidnap dungeon.
There was surely a directly abutting house that was torn down/removed at some point in the past.
Load More Replies...Excellent napping house - it's probably cool and very dark inside! Let me have it.
Don't Care About Your Opinion But That Really Looks Like A Minion
Mrs. Pigglewiggle! EDIT: that’s a really old children’s book series but Mrs. Pigglewiggle’s house is upside down
Load More Replies...We wanted to know if Hannes has encountered any buildings so boring they broke the pages motto "Better to be ugly than to be boring." He replied with the short and simple "Not yet. The Netherlands is Boring. Belgium is beautifully ugly." On a more serious note, we also wanted to know why these buildings are so unique. "Most of the time it’s the owner who wants his house to be a certain way. Newly built or renovated, they make the choices, and an architect delivers. In 2% of the cases it’s an architect who wants to experiment and make something crazy ugly. But I like the fact Belgium is a country where experimenting is possible.No experiment is ever a complete failure. It can always be used as a bad example."
The “Ugly Belgian Houses” account boasts 167 thousand followers on Instagram, another indicator of people's morbid obsession with absolutely hideous constructions. Global interest is so high that they have even published a book with a selection of the best constructions. One wonders if some orders are from Universities seeking to supplement their architecture divisions with materials on what not to do. The book is in a variety of tongues, but ultimately images are a universal language.
In some ways, the fascination with these buildings could be seen as a form of whiplash. Belgium contains many examples of beautiful architecture, ranging from the neoclassical Palace of Charles of Lorraine to the Art Nouveau former Old England department store. But these photos demonstrate the age-old truth that a country's architecture isn’t just the old buildings in its capital.
Citroen Citrout
The little kid in me that's fascinated with 'Gee Whiz' really, really wants the hedge to swing out of the way and the car on the right to go driving away at full speed!
Quirky art. Why do people put flamingos or gnomes in their yard? And if this person was clever the boot and bonnet of the car parts will open and you could use them for storage.
Load More Replies...Ugly Belgian Houses. Literally
Looks like there's some beautiful brick work toward the bottom. Shame about the rest, though.
The brick must have tooken forever and then they were just like whatever.
It had potential if you take away the slanted roof and the mismatched brick work and increase the size of the windows.
What Kind Of Toppings Do You Want On Your House? Yes!
Yes, that is exactly what the headline says already.
Load More Replies...It's not the solar panels that make it different, it's the main floor... Cathedral window ✔️. Recessed garage door - yup. And one that looks like it has an outie bellybutton. Ok, could you throw in some mixed matched windows plus a tiny skylight. Thanks.
Exactly. Upgrade the ground floor and this place would look much better. I have no problem with the skylight/solar panel combo. More buildings should have both.
Load More Replies...We asked if he had any final thoughts to leave with the readers: "Belgium must have over 3 million houses. I’ve only posted a few thousand. So I recently learned my story will never end. The project will go on forever. I’ll almost never take pictures myself anymore because I get 3 pictures a day sent in."
The page’s motto is “Better to be ugly than to be boring,” which is quite aspirational. After all, as bizarre as the houses here seem, there are tens of thousands of identical, cookie-cutter houses duller than a butter knife in every country across the globe. The fact that these are homes is special as well. An office, warehouse, or store can be soulless, but a house is a home, a place for the owner to express themselves and their personality. Most of us don't just throw down a mattress on the floor of a bare-walled square room and leave it at that. Decorations, ornaments, and some fresh paint are all common additions.
We All Live In An Orange Submarine
Looks to me like an old windmill base with the top removed.
Load More Replies...Just because you can build it doesn't mean you should...
La Sagrada Familia By Antoni Audi
So houses eating cars must be a common theme in Belgium. Good to know. Useless but good to know...
When You Lost The Assembly Instructions
Self-expression is in general a pretty strong human desire. We really want to make our mark and set ourselves apart. How we do this is deeply personal, but the drive is also informed by some cultural practices. In one study, European Americans, and by extension, Europeans, ranked self-expression as much more important than people from other areas of the world. The same study even found that when these individuals were not permitted to express themselves, they suffered from negative effects on their cognitive functioning. It's hard to be committed to something you don't feel any ownership and responsibility towards.
When You Roll Too Much During Sleep
Une Belle Maisnon
This is in my street. Looks better now finished but still weird :-)
Wow you must be lucky you're street ended up on here.
Load More Replies..."une belle maisnon" untranslatable wordplay :D (belle maison : beautiful house - maisnon (mais non) : but no)
It looks like a kid was playing with blocks, one slid off the base and dad said "that's it!".
It's what happens when you don't have a level OR a square...
Reminds me of a friend that used to do concrete work. Some guy wouldn't listen to him when he told him you can't use a carpenters square to check the squareness of the foundation forms. Foundation ended up 3 feet out of square and that's the way the house was built. You can imagine how the roof looks.
Cut My House In To Pieces This Is My Last Carport
Cut my house into pieces, this is my last carport - … gravel drive-way, no ceilings - dont give a f*u*c*k its more windows I’m needin’
I don't mind this design, very modernist but it all works together. At least it looks like it's mean to be that way.
Belgium has no shortage of artistically inclined people, as the relatively small nation has a large number of contributions to art, architecture, and culture. It has 15 properties listed in the UNESCO list of world heritage sites and is the birthplace of the inappropriately named French fries. Indeed, it’s part of their national dish, whether eaten with steak or mussels. In terms of somewhat strange design choices, sculpture fountains of little boys peeing is also a symbol for its capital of Brussels, a design choice that really isn't that far from many of the ones displayed here. It just happens to have better craftsmanship. Execution is everything.
Ugly Belgian House
Home buyer: Give me that American Indian Egyptian look. Architect: Say no more fam!
I Wanted To Include A Joke About Carpentry But I Didn't Think It Wood Work
Anyone else seeing the pair of eyes looking down from the dark wood part?
I could add a but of steel into the joke, but it steel woodn‘t work.
When You Ordered The Wrong Roof But You Are Too Lazy To Send It Back
They do that for taxes. If you keep x walls from the old house (rules and laws depending on the region you're in) it is considered as a renovation and not a new build. The house then stays around the same tax bracket as before. You see this mostly in rural regions, it's waaaaay more difficult to get the permit in a city.
OK, that makes sense. But couldn't they at least try to build in a style that blends the new build into the old? At least a little bit?
Load More Replies...Yeah, my first thought is putting an addition on the top to preserve original building, but kind of a fail on an integrated design concept?
Like in many smaller European nations, space is limited, meaning people are constantly living in proximity to others. This could enhance the desire to stand out, regardless of the aesthetic cost. Just to demonstrate, Brussels, the capital of Belgium, is 26.9 miles (43.3km) from Antwerp, the nation's largest city, and 31.7 miles (47.4km) from Ghent, the third-largest city. All these distances are as the crow flies, but it's also not a country rent by mountains or other impassable obstacles. Americans, looking at these numbers might realize that their morning commute covers a larger distance. This might help identify the sort of population density we’re talking about here.
Big Door Energy
For some reason it reminds me of an elevator. Like those transparent ones you see in shopping centres.
True Story: They Had To Cage The Rocks. People Thought You Could Throw Them To The Holes. It Was 100 Points If You’d Hit The Little Window
Just needs earth in a pile up to the roof leaving that big window clear and it would look like a hobbit house.
Serious question... Why didn't they just remove/displace the rocks?
Load More Replies...I really don't understand this new trend of stone walls in cages (and these are even weirder). Why pay for stonework, but cover it in something else? They just look unfinished.
It's cheap and it's a easier to build. If you wanted to use a single rock to replace one of those cages it's going to weight hundreds of kilos. So you need machinery to position them. With these each rock is only a couple of kilos, so you can get a load of rock in or even get a trailer load with your own car. Then wheelbarrow it in and fill the gabion by hand. Also being a regular shape means it's easier to build walls with them.
Load More Replies...You throw the rock and hopefully don't hit the the hobbit living in it.
Huh. The ... 'gridwork'? ... in the large window makes it look like a vacation home for Dr. Strange when he wants to get away from his Bleeker Street Sanctum in NYC.
When You Stop Talking About Your House And Make It Concrete
😂 I love your puns! They remind me of wholesome, "dad jokes!" 🤗
Load More Replies...I feel like if I were to go inside, I'd find the bodies of missing people.
Yikes! It looks as if the concrete part might collapse as there doesn’t seem to be enough holding it up. I hope they’re safe!
Indeed, it’s the 22nd most densely populated country in the world and the 6th most densely populated in Europe. The Flemish region in the north of Belgium is one of the most densely populated areas in Europe. With all those people pressed together and all that beautiful architecture, it’s no wonder that the people of Belgium have turned to buildings that would be shockingly bad any place else. If some morbid curiosity drives you to keep exploring the chaos of bad Belgian architecture, Bored Panda has got you covered, check out our previous articles here and here.
Don’t Say Cottage To Gothage
Yeah, this isn't so bad. I'd live here. Well... if i could afford it. Which I cannot. But if I could...
Load More Replies...Actually a great house near me. Looks like a haunted mansion but nice :-)
It looks as if somewhere in the process of getting here, there was a beautiful house! They shoulda stopped there insteada gone past it. 😕 Now the pretty parts just seem like a shame as they show what coulda been. 😞
Sidewalk weeds could use a little love in comparison, but yeah, okay.
Nice Qwallity
Oh Deer
when you can’t have a castle and its adjoining park, at least you have the statue
On A Side Nose, This One Is Quite Special
One Of These Is A Bloc Paté
Warpitecture
The Architect Really Stepped Up His Game
I'm not an architect.... But function should always precede AND dictate form, I think. What's the functional excuse for this? For that matter, the form sucks.
Bridge Over The River Kwhy?
This looks like a result of some stupid Belgian regulation on a provincial or communal level. I mean, it could be that they had to do this to make a 'closed' looking row of houses. Belgian Kafka at it's best.
Let’s Just Hope It Disappears When They Get A Full Line
Piece Of Cake
It's A Carportoise
Hey, Teacher, Leave This House Alone All In All, It’s Just Another Dick With A Wall
AH, somebody wouldn't sell their property, so the company built right next to them.
I Can’t See The Problem
If You Understand Why Pizza Is Made Round, Packed Into A Square Box And Eaten As A Triangle, You Will Understand This House
I think the solar panels make it look like it has a fro & bushy stash.. maybe without them, it looked fine? 😶
The Architect Really Skewed Up
Maybe it's the color reflecting in the center window.. but I don't hate it 🤷♀️
Shiieet Sixteen
Holy [Poop]
Holy Mary (lol) - on a serious note, this gives me the creeps... 😖
Load More Replies...The Architect Is Making Quite Some Points Here
When You Literally Run Out Of Money To Make An Extra Room
again, result of regulations stating they must build an upper floor even if there is no need to, just for the looks of it. Strongly suspect a 'top floor' open air sitting area.
Game Of Homes
Bit unfair, this one. Think I know the location and you're looking at the back of factory/warehouse silo's. Still does not make it pretty, though.
Think it's about the houses in the front being the same color. Kinda looks like it's all part of the same whole. 😅 But still not a bit unfair tho like you said 😜
Quatro Stagioh No
Why Does It Have A Barcode? This Is Belgium, Not Scandinavia
Tell Me You Don't Want Visitors Without Telling Me You Don't Want Visitors
Not All The Ugly Belgian Houses Wear Capes
The Ugly Belgian House Colouring Book Is Almost Ready!
Those are shutters. I had a house with a couple on the windward side and they were great. They were outside but operated from the inside. We’d close them when there were high winds or it was really cold and it made a huge difference in not letting the house get cold.
Load More Replies...I Would Make A Penis Joke But It's Too Hard To Understand
Stuck In The Middle With Roof
That’s A Perfect Example Of Rocoucou
Accident Waits To Happen
Does a human live in there?! O_O -- just trying to imagine the deafening vibration as trains pass through..
King Architecture And The Knights Of The Round Carport Window
Behold The Castle Of The Parking
You Ain’t Nothing But An Ugly House Dog
Acracadabra Don't Open This Mess A Me
Now That Is A Parking Violation
Oh No The One House Didn't See The Voorrang From Rechts
David Attenborough Voice: "Rarely Seen, This Male Organ Of The Ugly Belgian Houses Is A Crucial Tool For Reproduction. We Are Lucky To Witness It."
Opposites Attract
It Has Some Kind Of Condition
The James Webb Space Telescope Reveals Never-Before-Seen Details Of An Ugly Belgian House
Is This A Knightshop?
This feels like a great way to have random s**t put in your house by passerby
Don’t Ride The White Horse
The First, The Last, Eternit
How?se
Finally Found A Decent Mailbox Firewall
Brick A Brac
A Pyramid With A Roof. Eat That Egypt
Amenagement A Trois (Avec Un Ami)
I'm intrigued by the Noddy car at the front. It looks like you need a very large Allen key to remove the wheels
Jesus Cries(T)
Clap Along If You Feel Like A Room Without A Room
Need to say it again? regulations stipulating the tops of the houses should align, even if the person building this house did not need a second or a third floor.
Party In The Front Nothing In The Back
Boom Boom Boom Boom You're Missing A Room
For Sale. House With Outdoor Rooftop Sauna Cabin
We Got To Fight The Towers That .be
It'd be better if the rest of the house went along with the whole " Medieval Castle" vibe
Messmerizing
Owner: I Like To Stare Through The Window Architect: Say No More
When You Download The House Plans From The Pirate Bay
50 Shits Of Grey
Welcome To The Uglybelgianhouses Sightseeing Tour
When Your Roof Has A Meeting
It Has The Perfect Balance Between 'What' And 'The F--'
Better Call Saul Because Wall Not So Goodman
Even Dall-E Couldn’t Make This Up
Google Please Deleteview
22 On A 100 You Mean?
House Arrest In Belgium
Omg Stephouse, What Are You Doing
I See A Red Roof And I Want To Paint It Black (Too)
Amenagement A Trois
How To Build An Hobbit’s House : Flemish Edition
Without the weird colored stairs in the front, this wouldn't honestly be all that bad
The Grass Is Definitely Greener On The Other Side
Villatetris
Buy A House Get Half Extra!
The weird thing is, that Belgium has plenty of really beautiful buildings and cities/ villages as well. Bruges/ Brügge for example, but Brussels has magnificent spots, too. And yes, the titles in this post made my day. Thank you.
Okay I'm from Belgium and I need locations 'cus I want to see them irl 🤣 Haven't seen any of them but I have no trouble believing these are all in Belgium 'cus there are some really weird buildings here 😅
Kudos to the titles, but I want to see some pretty Belgian houses now. Most of these seem to be just people managing w/what they had, either little lots, next to industrial areas, mixed materials, etc. Basically making do w/o much $$$. Extra kudos for attaching solar panels to any surface that got sunshine pretty or not.
The weird thing is, that Belgium has plenty of really beautiful buildings and cities/ villages as well. Bruges/ Brügge for example, but Brussels has magnificent spots, too. And yes, the titles in this post made my day. Thank you.
Okay I'm from Belgium and I need locations 'cus I want to see them irl 🤣 Haven't seen any of them but I have no trouble believing these are all in Belgium 'cus there are some really weird buildings here 😅
Kudos to the titles, but I want to see some pretty Belgian houses now. Most of these seem to be just people managing w/what they had, either little lots, next to industrial areas, mixed materials, etc. Basically making do w/o much $$$. Extra kudos for attaching solar panels to any surface that got sunshine pretty or not.
