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“I Will Never Be Able To Forget That”: 45 Of The Worst Things People Heard From Their Parents
Toxic parents exist, unfortunately. They scar their children for life through their hurtful words and inconsiderate actions. What’s worse is it can turn into a vicious cycle and cause generational trauma.
You’re about to read answers to a Reddit question that asked, “What’s the worst thing your parents have ever said to you?” People didn’t hold back and shared stories ranging from invalidated feelings to their mothers and fathers wishing they were never born.
Scroll through, but be forewarned that some of these texts involve themes of attempted self-harm and forced intimacy. Proceed with caution.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
In the hospital after trying to k*ll myself, my mother said to me with hate in her eyes, "You couldn't even do that right." I was 14. F**k you mom, I keep living just to spite you now!
RELATED:
#2
I occasionally drink. My sister died from alcoholism.
She was in a coma in the bed at the hospital suffering from liver failure. I was there with my Dad.
He said "I always though this would happen to you. Not her."
I have ALWAYS been the straightedge kid, she smoked, drank, did d***s. I was the Church youth group kid, she was just there if her bf at the time was. I barely drink, she was an alcoholic. I never smoked, she did. I don't do d***s, she did. I've always been monogamous, she was not. I've given them money to help them through tough spots, she convinced them to give her their retirement and blew it.
The exact opposite of her. But my Dad and my Mom always made her the priority and thought she was a 'princess'.
So as she was dying from the things she did. They dared to act like it should have been me on the bed.
I will never be able to forget that.
#3
“You’d better lose some weight and hope someone marries you for your looks, because your personality sucks.”
I was 14 and had just been fired from my very first job. He doesn’t even remember saying it; for me it was one of the worst days of my life and lives in the back of my head, for my father it was a Tuesday.
Jon Steensen 1 year ago
yep... and then the follow up with: "I never said that", when they can't remember it, making you kind of questioning yourself, but no, you DID say that, and it stuck.
#4
"Look, everyone has some kind of pain. Grandma, Dad and I all have arthritis and other things. Grandma's hip replacement wore out, Dad has sciatica, and I have bursitis. Stop complaining and learn to deal with it." - My mother, driving me home after I received my fibromyalgia diagnosis.
Karma got her later when one of her friends verbally smacked it into her head that fibromyalgia pain is severe and debilitating, that it could get worse over time, and that I may end up wheelchair-bound. She also talked about how badly the brain fog f***s a person up.
My mom was almost in tears as she apologized. She gave me a fibromyalgia awareness bracelet and started coming to my rheumatology appointments to ask questions for me whenever I had brain fog.
#5
Literally as we were walking out of the hospital, after having to take our three week old daughter off life support. My mother chose that moment to remind me that she really thought we should have baptized our daughter because now she can't go to heaven. Yeah, I just got in the car and ignored her. If I would have reacted, she would have needed to go back into the hospital.
David 1 year ago
I have never understood the logic of that version. For those unfamiliar, infant baptism generally means one of two things, depending on the church/religion. 1. The parents promising to raise the child in the faith. -or- 2. That baptizing a baby actually "saves" them. The second option removes free will from the equation and seems extra silly to me.
#6
'If you come back to this house I'll beat you and k*ll you'. Haven't seen him for 3 and a half years after that & I don't intend to. Blood thicker than water my a**. I'll always cut off toxic family.
Guess Undheit 1 year ago
"Blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb." THAT is the phrase, meaning chosen relationships are more meaningful than genetic family.
#7
My biological mother told me that I should be in the urn with my dead son. She was convinced that because I was sometimes a danger to myself (I’m epileptic), I obviously k*lled him somehow… despite him passing in his sleep from SIDS.
I don’t speak to her anymore.
#8
"If you get AIDS we're going to let you die alone because we're not letting you bankrupt us." I was 18 and they found out I was gay from a letter I had thrown away. They also said one of the funniest things to me during that same time, "What if you want to be President?!".
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 1 year ago
"and when you're alone in that nursing home I'm going to let you d!e alone because I'm not going to let you emotionally bankrupt me" is a perfectly acceptable answer.
#9
My parents are tied.
Dad: “So they diagnosed you with depression and anxiety? By definition those two things would cancel themselves out. You won’t be going back.” I was 13.
Mom: She told me over and over while growing up “You can ALWAYS come home! No matter what you can always come home!”
I was 22 and lost my job and could not find another with enough hours. We went out to lunch, I spilled my guts and how ashamed I was at failing. She looked me dead in the face and said “Tell me how that turns out.” I slept under a bridge for 3 months.
#10
In college, my dad told me over the phone, "It's not your mom's fault she doesn't love you as much as she loves your sister. She just doesn't understand you. You're too weird for her."
Thanks, dad. That didn't hurt at all.
iseefractals 1 year ago
There's a difference between "loving your kids" and "liking your kids" You can love them more than life itself, doesn't mean you have anything in common with them. Besides, look at it from the other side, as a child you love your parents....but you still have one that you prefer.
#12
I proudly told my mom I got 98% on one of my high school exams. She replied “Where did you lose the 2%?”.
#13
That I ruined everything she’s ever had.
Joke is on my mom because after my dad died, I went no contact and it’s been AMAZING.
#14
“The stress from dealing with you is why I got cancer”.
Donkey boi 1 year ago
The day I became an in-patient for therapy, my dad told me it was the happiest day of his life. He cried as he told me that I was the reason for his heart attack, and how he hopes that my stay improves both of us enough that he can live long enough watch me grow into a real human being, and hopefully a man he can be proud of.
#15
My mother told me "You can't wear what the pretty girls wear because you're fat."
Boredest Panda 1 year ago
Lady, I’m already wearing what pretty girls wear because I’m pretty enough
#16
When he threatened to kick me out of the house because I took a different route home than he would have when coming home from dinner.
It was so out of left field. I thought he was joking but he was raging and was literally about to kick me to the street. Led to this massive argument that came close to having the cops called.
I was 20 and it completely changed my view of him. I found a job across the country a few weeks later and left. Today he doesn't remember the incident at all and wonders why I never accept his help for anything and visit once every five years. Got what you wanted old man.
Pencil McGovern 1 year ago
If it was completely out of left field, nothing similar had happened before, nothing similar since and he doesn't remember it, it very well could have been a psychotic break. It's much more common (particularly after a trauma) than people realize. Based *solely* on what's written here, I think reconciliation would be worth exploring.
#17
My dad had been single since him and my mom divorced when I was 1 year old. I was 13 and was pretty sick trying to sleep in the back seat going to his house for the weekend. He just recently got a girlfriend at this point who had a daughter a few years younger than me. He forced me to go to his place that weekend even though I was pretty sick and he was frustrated I wasn’t interested in talking to him on the drive to his place.
So he pulls over, looks back at me and says “ya know, I can just take you back to your moms. I don’t *need* you to love me anymore. I have {girlfriend} and {girlfriend’s daughter} now.”
He did in fact take me back to my moms and I didn’t see him again for another 3-4 years after she dumped him cause she found someone richer.
#18
My mom had a condition which made it hard to keep a pregnancy. She had 13 total pregnancies, only 4 survived. I was the only planned pregnancy that survived.
“You were the only one I wanted and look how you turned out”.
StrangeOne 1 year ago
I know some women go through a very tough time planning pregnancies,... but it doesn't always mean they're wanting kids for unselfish reasons.
#19
I told my dad I needed mental health help and he told me I just needed to pray more.
Penny Hernandez 1 year ago
I had a son who had schizoaffective disorder. When I mentioned to a family member that I was searching for a therapist for him, this person told me not to bother - it was just all in his head. Ummm, right, it was.
#20
I wish you never existed.
StrangeOne 1 year ago
How could a parent say such nasty things and hold so much resentment towards their own kids they decided to have?
#21
My Mum died on Mother’s Day 2020. My Dad declined quickly without her. He said to me:
“I just don’t have anything to live for anymore. Everything I did, I did for her.”
Me: “You still have friends, family, kids…you know I’m still here for you.”
Dad: “You were just for her too.”
He died soon after telling me he never wanted me.
Kobe (she) 1 year ago
I don't read the Ï didn't want you" in that. I do see a heavily grieved man though. And heavy grief can mess up with perspective a lot. Especially the child being in grief as well. The everything I did, I did for her part, might just as well go for the last years where it was just the two of them. Sometimes in grief one just can't see ( or want to see) the silver lining...
#22
That I was a failure and I’ll never be half of my brother.
BeesEelsAndPups 1 year ago
Ah yes, my mother did this with my and my older brother. Always comparing us to each other and making us fight for position. Now she wonders why we aren't close. She tried to do this with me and my younger brother too, but he's 10 years younger than me, and I just kept telling him that I always would have his back, and he shouldn't worry about getting her approval because he never would, and that's not his fault. I would always be proud of him.
#23
While my parents were going through a divorce (I was 9 years old), I overheard my mom saying to my father "I don't want (me), I'll take the younger one, he's less annoying".
#24
When my mom found out I lost my virginity she said “God is punishing me for everything I’ve done wrong in my life with a daughter who makes the same mistakes”.
Donkey boi 1 year ago
When I told my mam I had lost my virginity, she told me to 'look harder for it'. To be fair, international calls back then were not the best of connections.
#25
I never wanted children after your sister. (I'm #2).
iseefractals 1 year ago
Well, you had two other options available to ya, but you chose the one that runs the risk of crotch goblins.
#26
While my body was deteriorating from an undiagnosed medical condition my mother said, "Do you know how much it hurts ME to see you just lying there?" This was after a 2 day hospital stay, 2 biopsies, and several doctor's appointments. NOTE: I had lost about 100 pounds of muscle mass in 7 months by the time I was diagnosed, literally my whole body hurt. Getting up hurt, laying down hurt. Anything I did, hurt.
#27
After my ex-wife remarried, my dad befriended her new husband. It’s especially weird because she abandoned the daughter we had together. My ex and her husband came to Holiday events that I wasn’t even invited to. I confronted my dad and he said that “Brent” was like the son he never had. Brent like NASCAR, country music, and religion. I llied none of those things.
It ended my relationship with him and my mom by extension. I have only spoken to my dad a handful of times since then. That was nearly 30 years ago. We never even spoke when my mom and sister died. I did make peace with my mom while she was on her deathbed. My dad has cancer (stage 3) and I can’t gather a single f**k/ won’t contact him/ won’t attend the funeral/ don’t want a cent from his estate. So yea, f**k that guy.
Fun fact: exwife cheated on Brent too and they were only together for a few years.
#28
My mom all my childhood “I should have aborted you”…like yeah but you didn’t so now what?
CrunChewy McSandybutt 1 year ago
Yeah, I heard stuff like this, too. It's almost as if it's a figure of speech for them. Gross.
#29
Being anxious and depressed is a choice.
Beak Hookage 1 year ago
Who the hell wakes up in the morning and thinks "you know what, I think I'll be absolutely miserable for no reason!"? The "logic" behind this attitude is absolutely batshit insane.
#30
My mother lost her first baby. It was a boy and he was stillborn. She told me she got pregnant with me bc she thought my dad would stop drinking if she gave him a son… I’m not a son. It basically made me feel like it was my job to keep my father happy no matter what. And he was never happy so I always felt like a failure.
#31
"You are born sinful and need to ask for forgiveness and purify yourself, it is going to be very difficult and you will suffer a lot in life, but if you don't do it, you will go to hell after you die."
if you believe in what I typed above, it is morally wrong to make kids, because of the incredible burden you put on your child and very high risk that your child will just suffer in hell eternally.
whodunnitfan2013 1 year ago
My parents preached about how I needed to ask for forgiveness after I was séxually abùsed as a child.
#32
Not to me. I overheard my mom tell my sis she wouldn't be a good mother because she wore pants to church. This was 19 years ago in 2005. My sister and her hubby have two dogs....
Jp 1 year ago
Let this type of Christianity die already. Leave the bluegrass music and take the rest with you to the land of golden street with EVER Person who’s ever passed before you waving from their mansion. Oh Lordy, I can hardly wait!!! - I went to a “Christian” private school from k-8 grade. You have no idea how hypocritical these people are. It’s impossible to live the life they preach so they all sneak around each other. Laughable now
#33
My mother often said to me "I wished you had died and your sister had lived."
It still stings to this day.
Boredest Panda 1 year ago
All these parents wish their own children’s deaths! Like, wtf??? If you don’t want kids and can’t handle them, don’t have them!
#34
I had splurged on a box of temporary hair dye when o was 15. Mom told me
If I spent as much time on my hair as I did on my weight, I wouldn't be so huge
For the record, I'm 5'7. At the time I weighed around 130 lbs.
#35
When I was 16 my mom started to suspect that I was Bisexual after she read through my computer search history. After a pretty intense one-sided fist fight(she started it)she told me she couldn’t love or trust me after finding this out, and starting crying after asking me if I’d ever had “feelings” for my 13 year old sister(I hadn’t).
#36
"I'm moving to (halfway across country) with your brother. There isn't anything for me here."
Except me, my sister, her 2 sons-in-law and all 5 of her grandchildren.
#37
“This is just like when your mother had a miscarriage” when they found out I was gay.
Feathered Dinosaur 1 year ago
Just wow. So their child really is dead to them now for being gay
#38
In a therapy session when he’s explaining why I seem to piss him off more than everyone else: “I’m angry at you because your mother refused to get an abortion.”
Explained a lot, actually.
#39
"Your mom didn't die just so you could throw your life away." From my dad.
Said while crying during what was pretty much an intervention.
My mom died giving birth to me and I've only seen my dad cry four times in my life.
Certainly hurt, though at the time it was something I probably needed to hear.
StrangeOne 1 year ago
This one sounds warranted and from a father who's scared and deeply cares.
#40
Parents who tell their children “You are just like [other parent]!” are awful people.
*You’re just like someone I hate*.
Miss Mali 1 year ago
My mom has said that to me I have responded with well u pick him, u married him and u chose to procreate with him what did u expect??? And thanks mom I happen to think my dad had some wonderful qualities and that those are the ones I picked up. All the ways I was screwed up were actually just like u and I decided I didn't want to be like u and so I worked hard to turn that part of me around, what's ur excuse???
#41
“I love you, but you’re still going to hell; once you turn 18, pack your s**t and leave.”
Beak Hookage 1 year ago
Translation: I don't love you but am too much of a self-righteous hypocrite to admit it.
#42
“You have a simian face”, “It’s lucky you are smart bc you are not pretty”, “You were cursed with your father’s genes to give you that big fat a*s”.
Lost Penny 1 year ago (edited)
What a lovely woman and a great mother! (just in case, it's /s)
#43
Its not one thing. Everytime I shared a problem with her, she’ll remember it and then turn it against me. Sometimes even months or years later bring it up in a fight and make it as if I am the problem. Because of this, I have hard time being vulnerable with anyone and sharing anything (except reddit I guess)
EDIT: Wow I wasn’t expecting so many people to relate to this. It was difficult when I was younger. Then as an adult I went to therapy because I don’t want to live a life without any connection with people. It has helped a lot (much better than before) including my relationship with my mom. Now if she or any one does this: 1) I know not to take it to heart and ruminate on it and 2) Remind her that it hurts my feelings. I still do love my mother. But those childhood experiences did affect my adulthood a lot.
Our scars from childhood takes time to heal. I still keep my guard up more so than my friends for example but after getting to know more about someone, I decide if I want to share more.
I hope what I learnt through therapy helps everyone experiencing the same thing. I’m learning to take risks and get hurt in the process. I hope it works for you too 🤗.
StrangeOne 1 year ago (edited)
I can so relate to that, too. Like, some moms can be jerks but then they treat you very well other times, and are there to support you. But with all that, just the cutting words now and then can overpower the positive. It takes a long time to practice to let it slide off your back and not let the words and tone phase you. Once you can start standing up for yourself you'll feel so much better and those bad moments won't marinate in your head.
#44
"Toylil, there are two types of people in this world: those who are street smart and those who are book smart. You are neither".
#45
My dad once told me that he loved me, but he really didn't like me. I was a teen with very low self esteem. Way to bolster my confidence dad.
Nicola Mawson 1 year ago
There are times I really don't like my teenager. I will always love her
#46
Moved halfway through high school and I had no friends. Was the most depressed I’ve ever been. Got into a fight with my mom who yelled, “at least I have friends.”
#47
When I was 18ish my father told me that he hoped I would take some classes that would teach me to be more in control and less emotional…. Now 20 years later my husband has died and my dad wants me to “tell him about the hard stuff” and to “cry it out” with him, and he can’t fathom why I do not lean on him in this time.
#48
“Nobody will ever want you while you are the way you are”.
#49
"I should've drowned you in the bathtub, like Andrea Yates"
For reference, Yates was a young mother in the mid 90's who drowned her 5(?) kids due to severe postpartum depression & religious psychosis.
Stephanie Did It 1 year ago
So essentially, the parent was admitting to being mentally ill, as Yates was repeatedly diagnosed.
#50
I think there have been quite a few, but the one that affected me most was my mom telling me my laugh was loud and I needed to quiet down. I stopped laughing around them for a long time (a few years at least). Finally, we started going to family therapy, and I told her that it bothered me. She said she wouldn't do it again. She did it again about a month later.
Schmebulock 1 year ago
Seems a little extreme. Kids can be loud and parents telling them to quiet down is normal.
#52
There's a few but the first I thought of is "you're not an easy person to love/it's difficult to love you".
#53
Being the oldest I moved out at 17 to join the Army. After exiting service I moved home, bought a house at 23 and later sold that houst at 25. Inbetween selling that house and finding a new one, which took 2 months, my mother refused to let me and my wife move in temporarily. Her excuse being, "doing something like that would ruin our relationship". That's after letting both my sisters move back in for over a year at a time and my youngest sister still living there at 26. Thanks mom, you did ruin the relationship 👍 Probably not the worst thing she said but that was a real gut punch.
#54
After my s*icide attempt, my dad said, "Got it out of your system yet?".
#55
I told her at eleven that I was s*icidal and I wanted to jump out the window and she said, "Well, then we'd have two problems wouldn't we?" She was berating me for bad grades due to unchecked ADHD.
#56
“There’s no light behind your eyes any more.” because I left the Mormon church. We’ve since made up and repaired our relationship, but I’ll never forget her saying that to me.
Joseph Dixon 1 year ago
If anything, there was probably a ton of light behind their eyes for leaving that "religion".
#57
That no one liked me, no wonder I didn’t have any friends, s**t like that. That was when I was in primary school.
In uni my dad told me to get the f**k out of his house and never contact him again, that was fun.
#59
"If your grandmother was alive, she'd be disgusted with who you've become" or something along those lines.
This is coming from the woman whose best parenting moments include threatening to dump used cat litter on me.
#60
They repeatedly explained to me that I'd never amount to anything and always live a life of insecurity if I didn't pick science/tech as my main field of study.
It was only after I'd already committed to that path I learned that all of my friends and teachers were shocked I didn't pick a language, history or art program.
#61
I stopped visiting my dad when I was 11 when I realized the kind of person he really was. On my 13th birthday he sent me a card that just said "get over it".
#62
You're a terrible father- my mother who didn’t raise me at all.
#63
Not to me, but about me. My mom told my sister that she just pretends that I’m dead. So, that’s nice.
#64
“You’re not autistic. You’re just lazy.”
Why? Because I was falling behind on a science project because I was actually doing WAY *too* much work for it, and apparently I should’ve done it over the school break even though my teacher explicitly said we didn’t have to and he didn’t expect us to.
Like ISTFG ever since I was diagnosed with ADHD (looking for autism assessment too) she f*****g uses it against me. Not long ago I made a tiny f**k up on something and she said that mid/low functioning autistic people were “more responsible than me”.
And she’s a social worker… 💀.
#65
"it's not like you'll ever be a model" - said to 12 year old me who needed braces to correct actual problems. my parents refused to take me back to the dentist.
not really the worst thing they've said, but it had a profound impact on ugly 12 year old me.
#66
I can't decide between, 'We made mistakes raising you,' or, 'I wish you were addicted to d***s instead of video games!'.
Joseph Miller 1 year ago
2 things for me on this one. 1) As a parent, I did / still do make mistakes in raising children. It's not easy. It's freaking hard & we messed up a couple of times. We weren't perfect. 2) WHY do I always read Di CK s instead of Dr UGs first!!!
#67
In Spanish the Bible says “love thy mother and father” (not honor, like it does in English). My father once said to me that it is not a commandment to love thy child.
Miss Mali 1 year ago
If u do not have the capacity to love unconditionally, I mean totally selflessly and without question, then u should probably not have children. What a lot of parents forget is ur kids did not ask u to have them, they OWE u nothing, but u have the responsibility to take care of them and put their needs first, and teach them how to be good productive adults that's the job u signed up for!!!
#68
I remember back when I was in 8th grade, we were going on a class trip to Washington DC. This was only a year after 9/11 so I was still super scared to get on a plane.
Finally I told my dad that I was scared to get on a plane and had been worrying about it a lot.
His comforting words
"Just remember what we learned in church, everyone has a time to go"
Thanks Dad!
(I still give him s**t about this s****y advice 22 years later).
#69
My mom was angry and called me a “f*****g idiot” because I failed a test or was failing a class, I don’t remember which. That was in middle school, I believe. It still pops in my head from time to time.
I want to note that neither of my parents were abusive. They spoiled me rotten, but my mom does have a temper and sometimes says things in the heat of the moment that she ends up forgetting about later.
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
"We only adopted you because I didn't want Melanie [older sister] to be an only child." - "Your biological mother is a druggie junkie alcoholic and you're going to end up JUST LIKE HER." - "You should be GRATEFUL I adopted you." - "You're gutter scum, just like your biological mother." And then all of the violence and beatings and getting knifed! Thanks, Mom!
MaryHadaLittleLamb 1 year ago
My God. I'm sorry you had to deal with all that. You are worthy of love, but she was not worthy of you.
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Guess Undheit 1 year ago (edited)
There were plenty of abusive thinks I endured, several of those listed are familiar. But the one that didn't hurt me is the one that showed the narcs for what they were. "Well go to hell because of you!!!" (the cult telling them if children - atheist me - don't belong to the cult, the "parents" go to hell). It was ALWAYS about them, what they wanted. My concerns, needs, wants, ambitions didn't matter, I was there to serve THEM. And that's without mentioning the violence. [ .................. ] I cut them off permanently over 20 years ago, not a word to them until they croaked. I'll bet they called themselves "victims" because I chose silence and non-contact.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
::hugs:: The empathy and sympathy that you, an "internet stranger" (so to speak) shows for these children/people is way more than most of them received from their actual parents. As an adopted child who went through some... stuff (see my comment on this article for a summary, lol) I can say... thank you. I appreciate it more than I can say with words. It sounds silly to type out, but for someone who took decades of hate and loathing from my mother (my dad was an awesome dad, but he was a weak person and didn't stop my mom... in fact, she verbally AND physically abused him as well) - it really actually means a lot to feel the very basic human empathy and sympathy from someone. Thank you. <3
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Seedy Vine 1 year ago
My sister told me that she was SA'd back in high school. When I relayed this info to our mother, she said, "Well, that was years ago. She should be over it by now." And that's why my mom is rotting in Hell.
Nimitz 1 year ago
"Don't come home." When I was 17 my mom and her husband lived 45 minutes out of town. I hated them and their psycho religious c**p. It was 22C below outside, on December 17. I went into town with them to go to school. They said that as I was getting out of the car. "Find somewhere else to stay because you're not welcome in our house any more." I was a sad kid with severe depression/anxiety/ADHD/PTSD and they made everything so, so much worse...
Nimitz 1 year ago
I did have a chance to move past it, about 12 years ago they were on hard times. He was a 5'3" dude who reeked of insecurity who was told by God that he would have a fitness equipment empire, in a town of 100k people where the market was already cornered. He had a CDL and could have gotten a high paying job as a truck driver at any time. My mom is virtually unemployable as she doesn't listen and constantly forces her religion on people. She'll just ignore instructions and do what God tells her. Anyway, they were virtually homeless living in an old camper trailer in the middle of winter. They were food insecure and often times cold. I gave them a gift certificate for $500 of groceries and $1000 in cash and told them it's more than they gave me when I was cold and afraid.
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Carla Phillips 1 year ago
Here's some good ones from my lovely mother: the electric bill would be lower if you'd keep your fat a*s out of the refrigerator. I wish I had aborted you. You're going to eat through your bariatric surgery and fail. Called my daughter, her granddaughter, an n-word lover. I honestly can't count the number of times she called me fat. She denies any of it happened, even after being told by several other family members.
Doctor Strange 1 year ago
Ooh ooh, I can play! Brought home a report card. Had a few A's, some B's, and three C's. Nothing lower, but three C's. My dad said, and I quote, "Get out of my sight. I don't even want to look at you. You make me sick."
ENSJ 1 year ago
Hmm, let's see. Starting puberty, skinny as f**k: "You're getting a fat a*s." When I had my first boyfriend, had intimacy problems and thought that could be related to the sexual abuse from older brother: "You never told us about that" (I did when I was 12, but they brushed it off). A couple years later when his gf had broken up with him (one of the reasons was the history of abuse) they called me up and told me: "Tell that girl it's all a lie or we'll never help you again" (I was living in an unheated house at the time during winter with no kitchen) My mother to my grandmother: "You know, ENSJ is not a pleasant child, unlike her older brother." Multiple times throughout my childhood and youth: "You are so weird, I bet you were swapped at birth. You're not like any of us." On the other hand, also heard the bitter "You're just like your father." "You shouldn't make the same mistakes I did and not have children. Being childfree is best. I wouldn't have children if I could go back."
Jenn Olges 1 year ago (edited)
After the Nth time of showing up at my parents house or at work (I worked with them at the time), bruised and bloodied from my abusive husband. They never said anything. They never did anything. I'd had so many black eyes and busted lips I lost count. There were times I couldn't sit because of how sore I was. I'd finally had enough. My husband wasn't going to change, and my son was now 4 and trying to get between us because he was tired of daddy hurting mommy. I called home, and explained I needed to leave before he k1lled me. My dad's response? You made your bed - lie in it. You're not coming home. Mom didn't stand up to him. I had no where and stayed. My MIL stood good where my father turned his back, and we got out and stayed with her. I never forgave him, and I never will. That was almost 30 years ago. He died within a year of that time. I don't miss him. I never cried for him. I wasn't the only one that made their bed...
Cee Cee 1 year ago
My mother told me God is punishing you that's why your baby dieď. I was 19. She was déad to me for years and when she did finally shuffle off I refused to go to her funeral. Told my sister (golden one) what she'd said. She didn't believe me. Shocked me as her son had died of a very rare neurological disorder and I thought she'd be more understanding. Stupid of me really as she never said she was sorry about the loss of my child. I immediately went nc. That was years ago now.
Rose the Cook 1 year ago
Being treated for nerves at 12 years old due to abuse by both my parents and my half sister my father said, "Nobody would care if you died tomorrow, it is not like you were someone that mattered like a football player or Olympic sportsperson."
Louisa Spoke 1 year ago
I believe in man’s inhumanity to man and it’s because of my parents and how I suffered at their hands. How I was never innocent but exploited for their benefit. I’m 60 and still fighting to overcome what I endured.
Jostanquecla 1 year ago
One of our dogs bit me when I was six. My parents were discussing whether to put the dog down. My father suggested putting me down instead.
AbandonAllHope 1 year ago (edited)
Your to black to be my kid,! I bet they switched my real baby for you. Get out.. I was 11
Corri Hendrickson 1 year ago
"No man will ever love you" " You're so slow you'll die if there's a fire" "Don't cry, it'll upset your mother" "I always wanted more kids but all I got was you" "Write down what it is exactly you want from me" then proceeds to rip up the paper without even looking at it. He'd been making fun of me for something for days before that and I just wanted him to stop.
Stella Johnston 1 year ago
When I 11 I was crying to my mum about how me and my dad don't get on and how mean he is to me and how I wished he wasn't my dad. He overheard, kicked the door open and screamed at a crying 11 girl "Well I wish we hadn't adopted you!"
RainyCityMomma 1 year ago
My mom told me multiple times that she didn't want to have children and dreamt of joining the army. My dad kicked me out of the house 6 months before graduation, telling me "get out of my perfect family, you are ruining it."
Susy Hammond 1 year ago
My mom used to say these two things to me: "Why do you deliberately make yourself so unattractive?" and "You can talk for hours and hours and hours about absolutely nothing." Add to that a constant barrage of you're fat, stupid and ugly from my brother--words can definitely hurt. Mom's dead and I've been NC with my brother for 25 years.
brittany 1 year ago
"you are not allowed to lock the door when you shower. your brother needs to be allowed in so he can make sure you arent touching yourself" and "if you die in childbirth, im taking custody from your boyfriend" (bio mom said this after i had lost a pregnancy which she did not know about and was pregnant with my rainbow baby)
D. Pitbull 1 year ago
Where to start... from Mom: "Never have children it will RUIN your life. WORST mistake" or... "We had your brother because you're such a disappointment. We're stuck with you." various comments about being fat... and that I should be thankful to ANY schlub who 'allows' me to be in a relationship with them, because I'm otherwise unworthy... And it just spread. Spouse just told me that someone on a sports team asked him once "Couldn't you find anything better than her?" and he says now "I'm wondering, he was right. I mean.. I defended you then, but maybe I was wrong" - it just continues.
Lara Verne 1 year ago
My cousin had a rough couple of years. She was in a bad relationship, did d***s, got into debt and stole money from her relatives to pay it off. She also had suicidal thoughts. My grandmother told to me: "I don't understand how her life got so bad, I would expect it from you, not from her." I never did anything that would indicate that I'll get so bad, but I was apparently pre-destined for failure, because grandma liked my cousin better than me. BTw, my cousin do better now.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
"We only adopted you because I didn't want Melanie [older sister] to be an only child." - "Your biological mother is a druggie junkie alcoholic and you're going to end up JUST LIKE HER." - "You should be GRATEFUL I adopted you." - "You're gutter scum, just like your biological mother." And then all of the violence and beatings and getting knifed! Thanks, Mom!
MaryHadaLittleLamb 1 year ago
My God. I'm sorry you had to deal with all that. You are worthy of love, but she was not worthy of you.
Load More Replies... Guess Undheit 1 year ago (edited)
There were plenty of abusive thinks I endured, several of those listed are familiar. But the one that didn't hurt me is the one that showed the narcs for what they were. "Well go to hell because of you!!!" (the cult telling them if children - atheist me - don't belong to the cult, the "parents" go to hell). It was ALWAYS about them, what they wanted. My concerns, needs, wants, ambitions didn't matter, I was there to serve THEM. And that's without mentioning the violence. [ .................. ] I cut them off permanently over 20 years ago, not a word to them until they croaked. I'll bet they called themselves "victims" because I chose silence and non-contact.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
::hugs:: The empathy and sympathy that you, an "internet stranger" (so to speak) shows for these children/people is way more than most of them received from their actual parents. As an adopted child who went through some... stuff (see my comment on this article for a summary, lol) I can say... thank you. I appreciate it more than I can say with words. It sounds silly to type out, but for someone who took decades of hate and loathing from my mother (my dad was an awesome dad, but he was a weak person and didn't stop my mom... in fact, she verbally AND physically abused him as well) - it really actually means a lot to feel the very basic human empathy and sympathy from someone. Thank you. <3
Load More Replies... Seedy Vine 1 year ago
My sister told me that she was SA'd back in high school. When I relayed this info to our mother, she said, "Well, that was years ago. She should be over it by now." And that's why my mom is rotting in Hell.
Nimitz 1 year ago
"Don't come home." When I was 17 my mom and her husband lived 45 minutes out of town. I hated them and their psycho religious c**p. It was 22C below outside, on December 17. I went into town with them to go to school. They said that as I was getting out of the car. "Find somewhere else to stay because you're not welcome in our house any more." I was a sad kid with severe depression/anxiety/ADHD/PTSD and they made everything so, so much worse...
Nimitz 1 year ago
I did have a chance to move past it, about 12 years ago they were on hard times. He was a 5'3" dude who reeked of insecurity who was told by God that he would have a fitness equipment empire, in a town of 100k people where the market was already cornered. He had a CDL and could have gotten a high paying job as a truck driver at any time. My mom is virtually unemployable as she doesn't listen and constantly forces her religion on people. She'll just ignore instructions and do what God tells her. Anyway, they were virtually homeless living in an old camper trailer in the middle of winter. They were food insecure and often times cold. I gave them a gift certificate for $500 of groceries and $1000 in cash and told them it's more than they gave me when I was cold and afraid.
Load More Replies... Carla Phillips 1 year ago
Here's some good ones from my lovely mother: the electric bill would be lower if you'd keep your fat a*s out of the refrigerator. I wish I had aborted you. You're going to eat through your bariatric surgery and fail. Called my daughter, her granddaughter, an n-word lover. I honestly can't count the number of times she called me fat. She denies any of it happened, even after being told by several other family members.
Doctor Strange 1 year ago
Ooh ooh, I can play! Brought home a report card. Had a few A's, some B's, and three C's. Nothing lower, but three C's. My dad said, and I quote, "Get out of my sight. I don't even want to look at you. You make me sick."
ENSJ 1 year ago
Hmm, let's see. Starting puberty, skinny as f**k: "You're getting a fat a*s." When I had my first boyfriend, had intimacy problems and thought that could be related to the sexual abuse from older brother: "You never told us about that" (I did when I was 12, but they brushed it off). A couple years later when his gf had broken up with him (one of the reasons was the history of abuse) they called me up and told me: "Tell that girl it's all a lie or we'll never help you again" (I was living in an unheated house at the time during winter with no kitchen) My mother to my grandmother: "You know, ENSJ is not a pleasant child, unlike her older brother." Multiple times throughout my childhood and youth: "You are so weird, I bet you were swapped at birth. You're not like any of us." On the other hand, also heard the bitter "You're just like your father." "You shouldn't make the same mistakes I did and not have children. Being childfree is best. I wouldn't have children if I could go back."
Jenn Olges 1 year ago (edited)
After the Nth time of showing up at my parents house or at work (I worked with them at the time), bruised and bloodied from my abusive husband. They never said anything. They never did anything. I'd had so many black eyes and busted lips I lost count. There were times I couldn't sit because of how sore I was. I'd finally had enough. My husband wasn't going to change, and my son was now 4 and trying to get between us because he was tired of daddy hurting mommy. I called home, and explained I needed to leave before he k1lled me. My dad's response? You made your bed - lie in it. You're not coming home. Mom didn't stand up to him. I had no where and stayed. My MIL stood good where my father turned his back, and we got out and stayed with her. I never forgave him, and I never will. That was almost 30 years ago. He died within a year of that time. I don't miss him. I never cried for him. I wasn't the only one that made their bed...
Cee Cee 1 year ago
My mother told me God is punishing you that's why your baby dieď. I was 19. She was déad to me for years and when she did finally shuffle off I refused to go to her funeral. Told my sister (golden one) what she'd said. She didn't believe me. Shocked me as her son had died of a very rare neurological disorder and I thought she'd be more understanding. Stupid of me really as she never said she was sorry about the loss of my child. I immediately went nc. That was years ago now.
Rose the Cook 1 year ago
Being treated for nerves at 12 years old due to abuse by both my parents and my half sister my father said, "Nobody would care if you died tomorrow, it is not like you were someone that mattered like a football player or Olympic sportsperson."
Louisa Spoke 1 year ago
I believe in man’s inhumanity to man and it’s because of my parents and how I suffered at their hands. How I was never innocent but exploited for their benefit. I’m 60 and still fighting to overcome what I endured.
Jostanquecla 1 year ago
One of our dogs bit me when I was six. My parents were discussing whether to put the dog down. My father suggested putting me down instead.
AbandonAllHope 1 year ago (edited)
Your to black to be my kid,! I bet they switched my real baby for you. Get out.. I was 11
Corri Hendrickson 1 year ago
"No man will ever love you" " You're so slow you'll die if there's a fire" "Don't cry, it'll upset your mother" "I always wanted more kids but all I got was you" "Write down what it is exactly you want from me" then proceeds to rip up the paper without even looking at it. He'd been making fun of me for something for days before that and I just wanted him to stop.
Stella Johnston 1 year ago
When I 11 I was crying to my mum about how me and my dad don't get on and how mean he is to me and how I wished he wasn't my dad. He overheard, kicked the door open and screamed at a crying 11 girl "Well I wish we hadn't adopted you!"
RainyCityMomma 1 year ago
My mom told me multiple times that she didn't want to have children and dreamt of joining the army. My dad kicked me out of the house 6 months before graduation, telling me "get out of my perfect family, you are ruining it."
Susy Hammond 1 year ago
My mom used to say these two things to me: "Why do you deliberately make yourself so unattractive?" and "You can talk for hours and hours and hours about absolutely nothing." Add to that a constant barrage of you're fat, stupid and ugly from my brother--words can definitely hurt. Mom's dead and I've been NC with my brother for 25 years.
brittany 1 year ago
"you are not allowed to lock the door when you shower. your brother needs to be allowed in so he can make sure you arent touching yourself" and "if you die in childbirth, im taking custody from your boyfriend" (bio mom said this after i had lost a pregnancy which she did not know about and was pregnant with my rainbow baby)
D. Pitbull 1 year ago
Where to start... from Mom: "Never have children it will RUIN your life. WORST mistake" or... "We had your brother because you're such a disappointment. We're stuck with you." various comments about being fat... and that I should be thankful to ANY schlub who 'allows' me to be in a relationship with them, because I'm otherwise unworthy... And it just spread. Spouse just told me that someone on a sports team asked him once "Couldn't you find anything better than her?" and he says now "I'm wondering, he was right. I mean.. I defended you then, but maybe I was wrong" - it just continues.
Lara Verne 1 year ago
My cousin had a rough couple of years. She was in a bad relationship, did d***s, got into debt and stole money from her relatives to pay it off. She also had suicidal thoughts. My grandmother told to me: "I don't understand how her life got so bad, I would expect it from you, not from her." I never did anything that would indicate that I'll get so bad, but I was apparently pre-destined for failure, because grandma liked my cousin better than me. BTw, my cousin do better now.
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