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“My Wife Doesn’t Know That I Know Her Secret”: 30 Relationship Secrets People Believe They’ll Take To Their Graves
We like to think when that special someone comes around, we'll have the emotional capacity to cherish our relationship. But for many couples, this is possible only partially.
For example, one survey revealed that 43% of Americans who are romantically involved have an online account their partner doesn't know about. Similarly, another survey revealed that 23% of U.S. adults who are married, in a civil partnership, or living together are currently financially unfaithful to their loved one.
To learn more about how these things manifest in everyday life, let's look at a Reddit post by user u/Riptidecharger that asked people to share some of the dirtiest secrets they or their significant other refuse to reveal.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Ok, so I found out my fiancé was wanting to ask me to marry him but wanted to get a super expensive ring for me so it was taking time to save up. I don't give a c**p about that type of thing. I'd marry him without a ring. That's not what's important to me. So I went to his mom and told her what I knew and she told me we should go look at rings together so maybe I could pick something less expensive so she could tell him we had been shopping and I had fallen in love with a ring that he could afford. I know, I'm sneaky. Anyway, I found an incredible ring that was normally $500 but on sale for $100. I bought the ring and she called him and told him what she did. He was so happy!!! He asked me to marry him on Christmas Eve and it was by far one of the best days of my life. He has no clue that I was involved in the purchase. So, he's keeping the secret that he doesn't know that I know.
EDIT: Thank you for the gold! I love you guys/gals!!! 💛
Wintermute 2 years ago
I came here for dark secrets and dirty laundry and the first entry is downright adorable. I'm betting it's gonna be a sharp drop from here. XD
zak 2 years ago
This is confusingly worded toward the end. Did she buy her own ring but have his mother say she (his mother) bought the ring without her (the wife) knowing, and then mother gave the ring to her son to propose? Why didn't she just give him hints that she really likes simple jewelry, instead of being sneaky about it? The intentions were pure, but I wouldn't like it if that happened to me 🫤
ThisIsMe 2 years ago
Okay, probably just me and I'm going to get slammed for it but...this just feels a little manipulative to me. Like, literally starting out your marriage on a lie. A white lie, but a lie. I was totally on board with the shopping trip, showing MIL rings she liked that were less expensive. But buying yourself, having mom like about doing it herself...I know people are going to say odds are slim of truth ever coming out, but it's amazing how that happens, and how will he feel about being dupped by his mother and wife?
RELATED:
#2
My mom's friend won about $4.5 million in the lottery and didn't tell her husband for almost two years. He was a real blue-collar guy who just went to work and came home, and she was responsible for all of the finances. One day, she walked into his factory, told him she'd won the lottery, and said everything was paid off and that they were going to both retire. And they did. They are the happiest couple I've ever met.
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago
Basically, she did tell him, but waited to get everything paid off and retirement all lined up before telling him. Luckily he’s a good guy, and not one of those selfish SOBs who siphon off all their SO’s money.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
It's ok ... I am a big compulsive spender so a wise woman would do the same thing to me.
JessG 2 years ago
Wow, you are an angry person. It's really not worth clenching down over a series of cute stories. She didn't tell him so she could get all the affairs in order and he could just quit and not worry about it. If you get this mad about these wholesome stories, then everything else in your day is really gonna suck, and whomever comes in contact with you will be affected by your negativity , and that could spread farther than you'd imagine, sometimes detrimentally. when you start looking at the world this way, then the world will seem like a horrible place, and you'll start saying "damn! Why does everything always happen to me?!" "Why is everyone such a jerk/idiot!?!" etc. when really, it's you, your fault . It's not worth it, you'll make yourself sick. Switch all those negative thoughts to loving and good thoughts and you'll be amazed on how the world changes around you
Load More Replies... #3
When we were in the hospital for some weird pain that I had, uninsured, and the doctors thought it might be cancer, I lost it a bit. She was so brave for me. But her mother called, she went into the bathroom to talk but she didn't know that the sound echoed pretty loudly into the room. I heard her break down, sobbing, telling her mom she didn't know how we were going to pay for treatment and that it looked really bad. I'll never tell her I heard her, but god it was heartbreaking. When she came out you wouldn't even know she was even upset, she hid it so well. She sat right down and told me everything was going to be fine with such determination and such certainty. Literally took out her computer then and there and started making a f*****g spreadsheet of our finances to fit in cancer. I knew how much she loved me in that moment and how important it was for her that she was brave for me. I don't know why but I got so calm after that, I haven't broken down like that since, even with worse news. I guess she makes me strong... god, I f*****g love her. **Edit:** People are wondering if it is cancer, unfortunately, yes I have stage 4 colon cancer (age 23). Had some major surgery which removed: both ovaries, uterus, both fallopian tubes, cervix (they made me a new one??? Science, man...), appendix, a third of my colon, a spot on my liver, and around 20 lymph nodes. Got a port put in and should be starting chemo next week. Unfortunately, there is no cure for colon cancer yet. My doc describes my situation as "treatable but not curable" but there are clinical trials and research being done, plus I heard maintenance chemo isn't too bad... So I'm going to fight like hell. (Also by now, you may have guessed I'm a woman :) ) **Edit 2:** Hell yeah my girl and I are still together!!! We actually just celebrated our 1 year wedding anniversary. I, unfortunately, f****d up our anniversary plans (God, I just HAD to go and get cancer -.-) but we've celebrated in our own way and the docs said they can work my chemo around our honeymoon that we have planned in August :) **Edit 3:** ok this is a lot of edits but I think this is important: please **DO NOT IGNORE SYMPTOMS** You know the only symptoms I had for stage 4 colon cancer? Three weeks of some bloating and then 4 days where I had some on and off sharp pain. That's it, and I already had two cysts on my ovaries the sizes of grapefruits. The doctors said that it probably started 6 months before that... That's 5 months of nothing, then some bloating and all of a sudden stage 4 cancer. (I got surgery less than a month later and my doc said my ovaries were the sizes of FOOTBALLS.... EACH) I was hesitant about getting it checked out too because f**k medical bills. But my grandmother ignored her bloating, and when she finally let us take her to a doctor she found out on a Friday she had stage 4 ovarian cancer and the next Friday she was dead. I don't play around with my symptoms anymore. (and guys out there, don't think this doesn't apply to you too, my brother had pain for a few days in his junk and my family ignored it. His girlfriend rushed him to the hospital and it was testicular cancer, he lost a ball. Don't be like us, don't lose a ball). You're life is worth so much more than whatever medical bills come up. We thought for a while we would have to pay out of pocket (and we did for everything when we were still in NZ) but thanks to the ACA I am covered now. That doesn't mean things aren't still expensive, or that we don't need a real overhaul of the way we treat health insurance in the US, but god damn you are worth so much more than whatever you will owe. I know it's so f****d up, but if you learn anything from me, learn not to ignore your symptoms. (Educate yourselves on your states laws and programs- sometimes under a certain age you get free healthcare (NY) and my insurance tried to lie to me about being covered because I'm married and it's because I knew (because my wife told me, obviously) that that's not true, I am not thousands in debt right now) Love you all, take care of yourselves, and thank you so much for the love.
Bored Koala 2 years ago
Words fail me right now... so, I'll just say I wish you the very, very, very best!!!
Ria C. 2 years ago
I was just diagnosed with colon cancer the 5th of May. Apparently it is the fastest rising cancer for Gen X (me) to Gen Z also i have no family history. My tumor is thankfully slow growing and is usually found by accident as it has to progress farther along than mine to show symptoms. My gastro doc is hopeful that my oncologist will just suggest surgery. I have an MRI and CT for tomorrow the 18th to see if it has spread and meet with the cancer doc the 23rd. Fingers crossed!!
Sami-Jo Ross 2 years ago
Colon cancer can kill anyone at any time, regardless of age. It's good that OP is doing well, and I hope there's a long and happy future for them.
Dorothy Cloud 2 years ago
What a heart breaking story. So young to have an awful disease. What a wonderful person you have to see you thru that. Stay strong, and I know I'm not the only person to send you love.
ROSESARERED 2 years ago
I hope they have many happy days throughout all the other not so great days
#4
Her Caesar salad dressing. It's actually the best thing ever but even after two years she refuses to tell me what's in it. What she doesn't know is that I have secretly been watching her make it over the past few months. I have finally pieced it together and now I have the power!!
Edit: Everyone wants the secret recipe. But she has reddit, and I prefer life.
Red PANda (she/they) 2 years ago
Please upvote Razor it’s not fair for him to get banned just because he didn’t get a joke
zak 2 years ago
But... why are you spying on your wife to find out a recipe that's her secret? That's weird to me, not endearing. 🤷🏼♂️
Kaseylulu 2 years ago
Why won't she just share the recipe? That's what's weird to me. Ooh the secret salad dressing recipe no one can know but me. I don't get that mindset. If I have a favorite recipe I enthusiastically give it to anyone who asks for it because I love sharing things I love. To each their own I guess.
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#5
This is a past-tense secret, but my GF at the time decided to surprise me by buying a holiday to Brussels for us over my 30th Birthday. I accidentally intercepted the hotel conformation email, so decided it was a good time to propose, as I'd been considering it for about 6 months. Act all surprised when she tells me, then when we're having dinner in the restaurant on the 1st night, I get down on one knee and propose. Celebrating our 3 year wedding anniversary at the end of next month
#6
Everybody likes snacks, right? Some of us like chips, others like fruit, or yogurt. Well, my wife likes croutons. Frozen croutons to be exact and she tries to hide it like an alcoholic hides bottles of vodka. Where does she hide the croutons? In the freezer. At first I'd put them in the pantry when we get home from the grocery store, but they'd always end up in the freezer. I'd be like, "Uh, hon, what's up with the croutons in the freezer?" and she'd act like she had no idea what I was talking about. Now here's the thing, I've tried them and now I'm addicted to them too. So now I openly eat cold croutons out of the freezer as a snack, and she tells me what a weirdo I am while she eats half the bag with me. No idea why she's embarassed to admit what a genius she is for discovering such an awesome snack. BTW, the best kind is Chatham Village garlic and cheese flavor.
Deborah B 2 years ago
Now he needs to tease her into "trying" them, so she can enjoy them openly.
Sanguinius 2 years ago
I love frozen corn. Been eating it since I was little. My wife thinks I'm weird and won't try it but I'm telling you, it's damn good. Like eating a cold chocolate chip but less sweet. I'm not a big lover of sweets so a nice little pop of cold corn is the perfect amount of sweet for me.
Nitka Tsar 2 years ago
I like cold carrots and peas straight out of the can. But only Bonduelle. Do you have them too?
Sami-Jo Ross 2 years ago
Garlic and cheese croutons are always good but frozen sounds very interesting. I may have to try this soon.
#7
I got pregnant the very first time my now-husband and I slept together. I was in my very early 20s and didn’t know him well, so there was no question that I'd have an abortion. I never told him about it because I never expected to keep dating him. It was the right call at that time in my life. We've now been together for close to a decade and have two amazing kids. He probably will never know because we’ve built such a great life together, and I think it'd be unnecessary to talk about it.
Marc Booker 2 years ago
Good decision. At this point telling him would serve no good purpose for him. Often people unburden themselves from secrets without realizing that all that will do is shift the burden and pain to another person. If you told him now, he would begin a grief process that you have already managed for years. It would potentially damage or ruin the good life that you have built together. Letting him live in peaceful ignorance is the most loving thing you can do.
the fallen soufflé 2 years ago
I hope you learn to shut up and be more respectful
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#8
Her ex is in town and she is secretly meeting him behind my back.
I know this because her location is always shared with me due to her habit of forgetting where her phone is.
Edit: Wow! I was expecting to have this comment ignored cos I was late to the party but wow!
Anyway. I am going through the questions you guys have and I will answer them as I read them.
I will certainly update everyone once I decide what to do.
If she still loves him, I don't want to step in the way. I am waiting for her to come clean to me on her own and if she does, I won't tell her I already knew. What hurts me is that she is indeed cheating on me.
She is being extra affectionate. She's putting more effort into her appearance. She's more interested in my schedule than ever before but never expressing I should come home soon.
The app we have is find my friends on iPhone. Instead of asking of her whereabouts, we share our location with each other. Also so in case the phone is missing somewhere, we know where it is.
I know where the ex is living and I can see that she's there very regularly.
I am going to give her some time to come clean. For the sake of our child and our 8 year marriage.
Edit 2: All right, thank you everyone for your support and well wishes. I truly appreciate it.
Some people were not too impressed with my patience and mistook it for being a cuck, I understand where you're coming from. I'm not an impulsive person. It is a strength and a weakness.
I'm seeing a lawyer on Friday to plan my next steps. I'm depressed and miserable and it is not a very great shape to be in.
Once again, thank you everyone.
Marleina Hershberg 2 years ago
I will say taking time is probably better than impulsive decisions, but she sure isn't thinking about your kids or 8 year marriage!!
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
I had the same issue. People who use the word "cuck" are piece of s**t "alpha" males who have been sucked into peterson and his toxic masc cult. Sometimes you have to ask your self: IF she is doing this, is it because I suck? If I suck, and she would be happier with someone else, if I really love her, she must go be with that person. I told my ex that. I said I believe you're cheating. She denied it. I said If you are, and he makes you happy, then please just go and I will step out the way. She still denied it. But I saw evidence. Anyway, it's in the past. Three years. Sometimes you have to give people time.
Dak Janiels 2 years ago (edited)
Been "partially" in his shoes- together 4 years, no kid - but I was the breadwinner, so she didn't have to work and could care for family. Randomly for periods of time she started "hanging out with friends" and during these times she would practically ghost me (calls or messages) and afterward go WAY out of her way to be kind, sweet and caring. I accessed our joint location history- took off work and tracked her a couple of times and found out she was seeing a guy pretty regularly for about 3 months. I too was patient (I mean,... we weren't married) because I thought we were happy and asked her several times about what she was doing, if she was seeing someone and almost pleaded with her to tell me. Eventually I realized, she was "comfortable" with me providing for her and being "with" me, but wanted to pursue the other guy. Once I put my foot down and cut off financing her free time, things ended very abruptly and painfully. I feel for OP, if you care about them, you just want the truth
Load More Replies... #9
He hides chocolate bars in his work bag. Bastard.
Just me, myself, and I 2 years ago
I hide M&Ms in my purse because my husband gives me a hard time about my love of chocolate. Except for the times he wants chocolate and buys it!
#10
He had always said he hates to cuddle at night because it gets hot/ it's uncomfortable/I hog the blankets/ect. However, when he thinks I'm asleep he'll scoot over and wrap his body around me. If I even make a move like I'm awake, he'll run back to his side and pretend it never happened. I think its freaking adorable.
LvH 2 years ago
Why would he say that? It's weird not doing something that both partners enjoy.
Person 2 years ago
It's likely he feels embarrassed by the affection and he wants to take some time to cuddle his partner in a way where he feels more comfortable. Of course, I could be wrong. And I mean maybe the OP has a specific form of cuddling that their partner doesn't prefer though these are just possibilities.
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The Alchemist 2 years ago
While I'm trying to fall asleep I need space or I'll overheat. I'm told after I'm asleep, I'm definitely the more cuddly of us. And I generally have no idea that I am.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
Yep apparently men run hot and need to not be overheated. Google it. it's a thing.
#11
Even though we had been married for 25 years, my wife and I always invented stupid private jokes between each other. I was lamenting the fact that we had fostered a Siamese cat from an adoption group, that eventually got adopted, and I really missed her. At one point, we were looking through the website of the local pound, and a Siamese came up named "Montague." The photo that they took of Montague was epic. A classic Applehead Siamese, he was neutered, about five years old, and had horribly crossed eyes. Whoever took the photograph of him made him look both proud, distinguished, and adorably insane. Like some crazy dude that comes into the bar as a regular, claims he's the emperor of the United States of America, and everybody buys him a round because even though he is clearly crazy, he is also very charming. We started making up all the stories about Montague in a spoof of "The world's most interesting man." Week after week, we checked to see if he had been adopted, but nobody wanted a crazy looking cross eyed Siamese cat. Everyone at the pound said he was affectionate, and had been there for quite some time. Sadly, this would be our last private joke together. My wife, who had a terminal illness, suddenly gotten much worse and passed away rather rapidly. We thought we had more time together, but she had sarcoidosis, and her lungs had already been weakened by repeated pneumonia, when she got the flu. Because she was on immunosuppressants for her condition, this is what did her in, she went into a coma, and died a week later. My sister helped me with the funeral and taking care of a lot of things, including contacting everyone in her phone contacts on her cell phone. She asked me about why the Alexandria pound would be trying to contact my late wife via voicemail. Apparently, my wife had applied to adopt Montague as a surprise gift. She paid the adoption fee and had scheduled a visit to adopt him. But she died before the appointment date. Sadly, my wife put it in her name only, and the people at the pound were pretty rude about it. Like to adopt Montague I'd have to pay ANOTHER adoption fee, and they were made that she didn't show up, and at the time it was chaos I couldn't deal with. My sister gave them an earful and they told her to go to hell. That ended that. I hope Montague eventually found a loving family. Edit 1: This got a LOT of attention. Your support has been so amazing. I couldn't find any of the original pictures of Montague, BUT, my wife had made a few private in-joke Memes from one of his pound pictures (not a very good one, I am afraid). I put two of them here from Montague's "Meanwhile, at the Legion of Doom" phase of our jokes. http://imgur.com/a/9M8UE Edit 2: Don't go after the pound, that was over 3 years ago, and I wasn't right in the head about my wife's passing. I am sure they have rotated staff. BUT I did get a Siamese rescue last year from a friend of mine who has a farm where people dump cats (long story). Here's some of HER pictures. http://imgur.com/gallery/cLF2O
Sami-Jo Ross 2 years ago
How heartless do you have to be to give a dude hell because his wife had arranged to adopt a cat but she died and didn't show? Couldn't they have checked his driver's license or something?
Deta Rossiter 2 years ago
crying at work is not a good look for customer facing staff you know
#12
I found out she had a credit card she had charged $2200 to. I confronted her for hiding it, and she admitted it and we paid it off...that's the stupid part, we had the money in the bank. Her brother is in prison and he manipulates her into sending him money. She agreed not to do that anymore. The other day, I drove her car and there was an invoice stuck down between the console and parking brake lever. She has another credit card. I opened it and discovered she owes $1800 on that one. She doesn't know I know...yet.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
big problem. My suggestion would be to leave the invoice open on the table one morning, and go to work. Let her see it open and read. She will then have the whole day to mitigate it.
#13
Ex-girl. She had a fairly large scar on her back and was incredibly self-conscious about it. She wouldn't even take her shirt off the first time we had sex. When I asked her about it, she said she had fallen from her horse when she was young. Fast forward a little and I'm out finding her a birthday present and have enlisted the help of her friend. I pick out a sexy singlet and her friend just looks out me like I'm stupid. Apparently the scar on her back, which the singlet clearly revealed, wasn't from a fall, but an abusive ex-boyfriend who had pushed her onto his motorbikes exhaust pipe and burnt her. We ended on good terms, and I never told her I knew. I hope she is doing well.
iBlank 2 years ago
while it's great that he's comfortable about the scar, it's very likely that she's hiding the scar for her own benefit. Imagine trying to get intimate with someone but every time they look at or touch a certain part of your body you have flashbacks of a terrible person and experience. If this is the case for her, I hope she can find therapy to help her come to terms with it.
ROSESARERED 2 years ago
Therapy for her, and, if she wants, a tattoo to change it to something wonderful...there are some beautiful peices of art work covering scars.scars, physical mental emotional remind us where we have come from, not who we are, or where we are going. Hope there is some healing ahead
Luna Rue 2 years ago
Clearly, it's more than just a scar to her. It's a daily reminder of the abuse she went through and she obviously still felt ashamed about the fact she was abused.
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#14
His affair. I knew for 3 weeks before he left (to look after his allegedly sick dad) and for 2 weeks after before I told him I knew. He said last week he's ended it and sees what he has missed but I know he's still sleeping and living with her whilst messaging me. Basically what he just did to me - I'm his wife, we were together 12 years. He just can't stop lying. He may be genuinely remorseful right now but I can't get past his deceit. Update. - sorry if my comment was confusing and thank you for all the replies. I found out in December, he was cruel and miserable throughout and nearly ruined Xmas for the kids. I suggested he go visit his 'sick dad' at NY and slammed that door right behind him. Took time off work (I was main earner then) and rearranged my life to take care of the kids and get a job with flexible hours. I'm happier. Kids are doing well. He's the one struggling now.
#15
She says she doesn't want children. I know that she actually does want children, and that she's not capable of having them, due to stumbling upon some medical records.
Lil Miss Hobbit 2 years ago
This one hurts so bad. I hope they can try a different route, like adopting.
Isa's left eye 2 years ago
Medical records told you she wants kids? Maybe she can't have them AND doesn't want them
tabithapaquette98 2 years ago
True. I've never wanted kids. I would have been glad to not have to worry about birth control.
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Tessa Dawn 2 years ago
It's heartbreaking finding out you can't have children. I was very depressed, for quite a long time
#16
When he's about to fall asleep he's completely honest. it was about 7 months in when he grabbed me and whispered into my ear "You're gonna be the mother of my children." I told him and he was thoroughly embarrassed and he apologized. however I neglected to tell him that pretty much every night he would tell me that he loved me starting a month in. I don't mind and I'm not trying to rush things and neither of us have any plans to jump into that sort of stuff right away but it's nice to know
#17
My wife doesn't know that I know her secret. When we first started dating, it was long-distance. One time she visited me for four days, but I had to work during one of the days. While I was gone, she had to take a dump but clogged the toilet really badly. She couldn't get it to plunge and was freaking out, so she went to the kitchen and got a fork and a plastic bag and dug the turds out of the bowl and threw everything in the dumpster out back. She called her friend, panicking, and the friend thought it was hilarious. Years later, the friend told me all about it. I find it funny but don't want to embarrass her, so I'll never tell her that I know.
Bored Koala 2 years ago
I most definitely wouldn't want to be friends with your wife's friend, that's for sure! People, if your friend tells you a secret, it doesn't matter if you think it's stupid/funny/not a big deal! What matters is the way that THEY feel about THEIR secret and you take it to your grave! (unless it they could critically hurt themselves or other innocent people - I think you know what I mean)
#18
A girl I dated a few years back had just graduated with her bachelors so I took her out for a night on the town. Her and our friends got absolutely demolished and since this was before Uber, I volunteered to be DD. So around 2am she's tanked, we head out and she wants krystal burgers. Very adamant about that, so I stop by Krystals and order a steamer pack so I can have some too and then have leftovers. She eats somewhere around 8, I get her home, get her into her bed and she immediately passes out. I am sitting next to her watching some TV when I smell something. I notice that she has just s**t herself. She is one of those people who would be so ashamed of herself if anyone found out so I just... left. I called her the next day and told her I dropped her off, got her some water and headed home. Never mentioned her s******g herself or anything so to this day she thinks she did it in her sleep after I left. I could have stayed and helped her clean it up and I probably should have, but she would have cried over that and avoided me sporadically for weeks.
#19
She is hiding baseball tickets for when my favorite team comes into town. She is waiting to give them to me on my birthday.
#20
My (soon to be) ex-wife met another guy about a year and a half ago. She was so bad at hiding it that I thought she WANTED to get caught. Posting romantic stuff on her Instagram when we hadn't been romantic in a long time. Confronted her, lied even with solid evidence. A few months later stuff starts disappearing from the house, pretty obvious that she's moving out. Then we started to have no money every month(and I have a pretty okay job), realized she was stealing money basically by paying her bills twice a month with 3-4x the minimum payment and not paying mine. Let it go on for a bit and finally confronted her, she doesn't admit to it. I finally just pull my check from our joint account and she says she's leaving but is going to be homeless. The next day she had changed her facebook back to her maiden name and had a picture of her and the other guy at their new place. I don't know if this counts.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago (edited)
horrible story, but not uncommon. My mom did a similar thing minus the social media stuff.
#21
He has been hiding he's autistic from me for ten years. (Should clarify it's a long running on again off again thing between us but even when it's off we were still good friends) He suffered abusive therapy and because of it thinks hiding his autism is the most important thing. Except that's like trying to hide an elephant in a bathroom, and he's not always super high functioning. So it's always a weird charade of me pretending he's not autistic while busting my a*s to gently handle that. I have no idea how to talk to him about it. I know he has a formal diagnosis. He was so traumatized from institutional medical abuse in the name of therapy that even mentioning it or acknowledging it can cause him to have a meltdown. He thinks if I knew, I wouldn't love him anymore, but I've known for YEARS and I still love him. I like him just how he is, I just want things to be easier and less scary for him, and I don't know how to help most of the time because he won't admit the problem.
Kare Deter 2 years ago
Do not directly confront him, instead talk to him in a kind and supportive way, about anyone else you may know who is on the spectrum. Drag him into the conversation by asking questions like what does he think about ... or you notice X is uncomfortable/acts a certain way in *this* situation, do you have any suggestions on how to make X more comfortable .. stuff like that.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
This. It is soooooo difficult. ALL the time you have to struggle to hide it. Most people here do not spot it / know what it is, they just think "he's weird." And OFTEN you just break and melt down and no-one understands why, they just think you are crazy and avoid you.
#22
A while ago, things got so bad finance-wise that we couldn't pay the bills for a month. My significant other was working 13-hour days, every day, and I wasn't getting any shifts at work. My parents couldn't help us, so I became a cam model. I earned over $100 in less than an hour, and it paid for our food that month. I only half-stripped, and I chatted a lot about innocent stuff, but I feel weird about it. I know my S.O. would feel totally betrayed, and I hate the fact that other men saw what only he should get to see.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
It's ok, do what you have to do to survive. I do not judge people who do this. In the UK for example I heard a lot of students do this to pay their varsity fees.
Person 2 years ago
You did what you felt you had to do. You viewed it as the last option. If you stayed faithful and didn't find it to be terrible you weren't really in the wrong. Though I can see why S.O. might feel betrayed, but I feel he may feel more betrayed if he finds out about it later through finding the pictures, compared to if he finds out from you. Though I'm no relationship expert.
#23
"I've been lying to my husband about my eye color for our entire relationship. He has poor eyesight and couldn't originally tell that I wear ultra-realistic prescription color contacts. I've worn color contacts for about 10 years and only take them off to shower and to give my eyes a break. We've been married for five years now, and he still doesn't know that this isn't my actual eye color.
Bored Koala 2 years ago
But.. why? Is it really that important... you're married now, I don't think he'd care ?? And it'd definitely give your eyes a break..
Squirrelly Panda 2 years ago
Sounds like she also has poor eyesight since they are prescription and at this point it'd probably be a challengeto bring it up without starting a stupid fight. I wonder what eye color is on her ID/driver's license- her natural or the contacts.
Load More Replies... Nitka Tsar 2 years ago (edited)
I did not even know you could get coloured prescription contacts. Even here you would have to pay extra for something like that.
#24
Back when I was first starting to make my artwork public, I had a kickstarter campaign to fund a tour. I had just started dating my SO, but he gave a relatively significant amount of money anonymously. He tripped up in selecting his "backer's reward"- an original piece mailed to his house. When I saw the address, I definitely didn't suspect his roommates were just super supportive of my art. edit: When I read "worst secret", I thought it meant "most poorly kept" secret. Yes, we're still together, and I feel incredibly lucky for it. I said he gave a "relatively significant" amount. At the time, we were broke enough that I needed a kickstarter to fund my art. We're still pretty broke, but now I receive grants from the state council on the arts, the city, and residencies through various established arts organizations to fund my work...which is why I'd like to remain anonymous on here. Sorry, but support a local artist if you can! As for playing chess, I just lost a match to him this morning.
#25
I’ve been married twice. My first husband and I got pregnant at 17, and my dad made us get married. We split amicably three years later, but we didn’t get divorced right away due to a lack of funds. We didn’t actually file the paperwork for another six years, which was a year after my second husband and I started dating. I never told him that I was married to someone else during the entire first year of our relationship.
Ranidae 2 years ago (edited)
Divorces are expensive. My ex-husband and I were separated for 8 years before we got divorced because we couldn't afford it... and it was an amicable split (we agreed on everything and worked together to put our child first) so an "easy" divorce so to speak. He ended up in a pretty serious relationship (engaged) and she refused to move in with him until he was divorced... so she paid for it. I am so thankful for her. They didn't end up getting married, but he's got a wonderful wife now. (I have decided marriage just isn't for me.)
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
TBH I found it overrated with lots of paperwork and otherwise not significantly different to a relationship without the paperwork. The whole legal drama around it isn't worth it.
Load More Replies... Sami-Jo Ross 2 years ago
My parents got together before my dad divorced my incubator. They were together for about five or six years before the divorce was finalized, and then not long after my parents got married. It's not cheap.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
I had this problem but I admitted it quite soon. The paperwork is a hassle.
#26
My wife dropped my iPhone in a Port-A-Potty toilet. Luckily it has been so used there was a large pile of s**t which gently held the phone above the liquid. She cleaned it off and gave it back to me. A year later I upgraded and gave her my old phone. She insisted on purchasing a new cover even though I had a high-end OtterBox. I never understood why until one of the kids told on her.
Squirrelly Panda 2 years ago
I'd be very upset that she didn't clean it enough to be OK for her but still let her partner use it without knowing what happened. My attitude is: if it's not clean enough for me then it's not clean enough for my husband.
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#27
At night, once I go to bed, he binge watches Gossip girl.
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
I think we need to end the idea of 'guilty pleasures'. Do you like it? Then enjoy it. You shouldn't need to justify it to anyone.
#28
I *know* she ate those cookies.
#29
Found videos of my ex bending over, twerking and s**t, in my panties. Never told him. And he creeps my reddit. Hi Scott. Edit: [Well, we did it reddit.](http://imgur.com/a/q0GfO) Fixed the damn commas. There was no literal s**t lol Double edit: totally awkward to explain to my current SO why I was on reddit constantly all night. Thankfully, he's the best.
Bored Koala 2 years ago
Thanks for the edit! I'd thought there was literal sh!t involved, and it just took on a whole new level
#30
My partner found a card in my car for a proposal to marry me...or so she thought. The card was actually meant for another woman I've also been dating for three years.
Bored Koala 2 years ago (edited)
You're a pathetic and disgusting excuse for a human being... and you'll be miserable no matter who or how many women you date because you're the problem. For their sake, I hope they figure it out fast! As I don't think you were planning on breaking things off and probably just intended to marry one and keep the other one on the side..
Dak Janiels 2 years ago
In THIS case, worst means both worst kept AND worst kind - not to mention worst person.
Dani M 2 years ago
i´m not clear on whether that card was purchased recently, or if its something op bought for an ex and kept in the car even if they are in a new relationship now.
A P 2 years ago
"also been dating" implies they're concurrent relationships
Load More Replies... Gold Medal? 🥇 🤞🤞 1 year ago
You disgust me! I hate how men think women are just sex tools and other useless items.
#31
It was an ex of mine.... Sometime into the relationship I find out I'm just the guy she's using to cheat on the other dude who she has been dating before me... It crushed me cause she was the first girl I really loved and did absolutely everything and anything for her. Kept the relationship going without letting her know and then tipped off the other dude and confronted her and broke up with her on the same day that dude broke up. She deserved it... But I never really fully moved on.. It's been years and haven't had a relationship after that... Edit: I didn't know reddit was such a nice place, thank you for all the great advice and positive thoughts. While nothing's going to change overnight I will remember everything you'll said and I will focus on other greater things in life and hope to move on. All your comments are appreciated. Thank you.
#32
He spent a ton of money on bruins tickets this year. Whenever he got tickets to a match he claimed he got them for free through work or downplays the cost but I know he paid for them. I don't really mind since he can spend his money how he wants, but it's funny to me that he thinks I wouldn't realize he's spending a few hundred bucks every time he goes to a game
Xenon 2 years ago
A bruin is an old fashioned name for a bear. The Boston Bruins are a hockey team.
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#33
I've been married and divorced before, but my current husband thinks this is my first marriage. My first marriage occurred when I was young, and it only lasted about two years. I even lied on my new marriage certificate. I will take this one to the grave.
Bored Koala 2 years ago
But don't you think this is kind of thing that could eventually come to light??
#34
He's going to propose to me, he just doesn't know it yet, or that I exist. Yet. Edit: Thanks for all the marriage proposals. You're all my internet husbands now.
#35
They're bi. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ So am I.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
That's ok. Glad you both figured it out with yourselves, now admit it to each other.
#36
I went through a six-month period of shoplifting. I wasn't in the best frame of mind, and I just couldn’t stop. One time, I got caught by security at Target, and thankfully, they let me go. It could have ended much, much worse. My husband would NOT be okay with that information, and I'll never tell him.
#37
My spouse and I quit smoking together soon after we started dating in 2013, but I've been secretly vaping for almost two years now. I know it's absolutely horrible for me, and I think my husband would be really upset/disappointed if I told him, so I've been keeping it to myself.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago (edited)
Surely the issue is more with the cancer from the real tobacco products than the nicotine addiction that is being kept alive? And he can probably smell it on you, I can definitely smell it on people. It's a sickeningly sweet smell. I'd suggest admitting it to him. If you quit because of the addiction being the issue, then you need to wind it down because you are cheating. If it was a worry about cancer, then you should be ok.
Jaya 2 years ago
Vaping can have some very serious health hazards. Just because it's less bad than normal smoking, doesn't mean it's not dangerous, unfortunately.
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#38
I cheated on my spouse with my coworker. Our marriage was already toxic and unhealthy, to the point where I should’ve walked away. I’m glad I left a few months after cheating, but I will never give them the satisfaction of being right about the coworker, especially when they had no proof other than us being friends.
#39
I posed for Playboy when I was 18, and I kept it a secret from my husband for years. One day, I finally told him (it’s not something that comes up in conversation very naturally), and he had no problem with it.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
obviously, he is probably proud as f**k that he is doing a playboy model, most men would give a left arm for that.
#40
When I was single, I had an on-and-off affair with my married best friend for a few years. My husband always asks me if my friend and I have ever hooked up, but I always denied it. I’m not proud of it, but I’ll take that secret to the grave.
#41
She's been studying abroad for a year and is planning on coming home 5 days earlier to surprise me Edit : Wow didn't imagine that many ideas coming out of posting this! Now I'm definitely gonna do a surprise party, just have to look in to the details! Edit2 : the plan so far : Day 1 : romantic night and evening at my place, I feign surprise Day 2 : Surprise party at her place with her closest friends
#42
So this is slightly different from the actual question, but I have a feeling I will never find a better place to tell this, so here goes. My grandmother got remarried when my dad was in middle school, after divorcing my bio grandfather, this was in the late 70's. Anyway, StepGrandpa (SG) was a 'cool dad' for a while, at least up until my dad and his older brother got into college. After that he started going off the emotional deep end( read: angry and borderline abusive). For a long time, both SG and grandma were in the (redacted for privacy) business. My dad and uncle both became attorneys and went to work at what was now the family company. Anyway, many years later, my dad and uncle are no longer working with SG and grandma, and my mother manages most of the company. One day, a business associate quietly pulls my mother aside and says that they saw SG in public with a much younger man. She tells my father and uncle, who do some digging around and find out he had used company funds to buy cars, apartments, etc for multiple 20 something men (he was in his early seventies). They are understandably shocked, and they all go over to my grandma's house when SG is not there to break it to her. Her response? "Oh yeah, I've known that for years." She had suspected he was gay before they were married, but nobody talked about that sort of thing at the time or in her family. She knew about the affairs, and she had a public health worker come to her front door to inform her he had HIV, and give her a test as well. She declined to tell anyone this for close to fifteen years. Anyway, they managed to convince her to divorce him, which took ages and ages. So, that's probably the worst secret that's ever been kept in my family. TL;DR: step grandpa (a*****e) was gay, embezzling money, and brought home HIV. Grandma knew for decades, and didn't feel the need to do anything. Edit: no, unfortunately, my grandma didn't keep his secret because she was kind and nonjudgmental. She kept it because she is super shallow with no forethought and cares way too much about her precious reputation. Edit number two: I have absolutely no sympathy for SG. I respect the fact that he was uncomfortable coming out, but he had every opportunity to quietly divorce my grandma and move on with his life, since she already knew. Also, he was always mean and vindictive, even when I was a child. The reason the public health worker showed up to their house is because he was given thirty days to inform her of his diagnosis and he didn't. Also, there's that whole embezzlement/theft part. Real class act all around.
#43
My wife used to have an issue with wetting the bed when she was a teenager, and she thinks she's grown out of it. Now, when she wets the bed and I wake up first, I pee on the bed, too, and tell her it was all me.
Per-Ole Sjuve 2 years ago
Wouldn't it be better for all, if she were told and could deal with the situation?
Red PANda (she/they) 2 years ago
Couldn’t this be a sign of like an underlying condition or something though? I really hope she has gotten this checked out
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
this one is rough. You need to do something about it. Adult diapers and/or waterproof sheets and/or separate beds. I'd not be able to deal with this, you are much kinder than I am.
Bored Koala 2 years ago
This one made me smile.. and considering we're talking about people peeing on their bed -accidentally or on purpose- I'd say that's quite a feat :) Now, that's a ride or die husband!
Kare Deter 2 years ago
This is one of the oddest, and sweetest gestures I have read here. Pretty sure she knows, or at least suspects. There are measures that can be taken to prevent/control this and everyone would sleep better (and drier!) if you just have an open and honest communication. Best of luck to you both
#44
My partner (female) of six years doesn’t know that, before we met, I (male) used to sleep with men. The experiences were very hot, and I reminisce about them often.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
That's ok, as long as you are still attracted to her and still love her, fantasies can stay in your head.
#45
I was sleeping with the rabbi who married my husband and me. My husband is Jewish, and I'm Catholic, so his family rabbi wouldn't perform the ceremony. I called my previous boyfriend, who happened to be an Orthodox rabbi, to perform the ceremony. My husband's family never figured out how I managed to find a rabbi to perform our ceremony.
Deborah B 2 years ago
Was it "was sleeping with" as in "had in the past slept with" or as in "Currently cheating with?" Because OP does say "previous boyfriend".
I'm Kid A 2 years ago
My thoughts exactly. It's one thing if it was an ex-boyfriend who she managed to call in a favor from, but if she was actually cheating on her about-to-be-husband with the person who was officiating the marriage... that's a whole new level of f*cked up.
Load More Replies... #46
I've been married for seven years, and I've faked every single orgasm with my husband. I always take care of myself afterward, so as not to upset him. I've even lied about not liking it because I just want it to end.
#47
She had sex with my boss before we knew each other, before I had been hired into the company. I'm not mad about it or anything, everyone has a past but she carefully dances around ever coming into my work now and I'm careful not to bring him up.
#48
She waits until I sleep to steal my pillows
#49
I knew for a year and a half about my engagement ring and never told him until after he proposed. He was not so good at hiding.
Jaya 2 years ago
Or they hadn't been together that long and he thought it was irresponsible to get engaged that early, but just happened to come across a ring he thought she would absolutely adore so he already bought it just in case.
Load More Replies... #50
The perfume I got my wife...I got it for her because it smells like my ex. For the record, it's because it smells awesome, but she wouldn't be down with that explanation. Also, I'm pretty sure I'm unhappy with her, but every time I try to bring it up, she ends up getting upset, and we just fight. I really care about her family, though.
Bored Koala 2 years ago
Ouch.. for the record, I don't think anyone would be down with that explanation either! I think it's high time you reconsidered things... I understand why she would get upset when you try to talk about things, but in the long run, postponing would only be unfair to both of you.. maybe counselling would help?
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
or the guy with the brother-sister-in-law duo?
Load More Replies... #51
I made out with my husband's older brother and sister while he was in the other room. I'll never tell him what happened.
Bored Koala 2 years ago
Wait! Whaaat??!! So, you cheated with his brother AND sister?? And what's more, both of his siblings betrayed him, too??
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
Wait I want to know if she made out with them simultaneously or if it was like a musical chairs scenario
#52
My husband thinks I finished my bachelor's degree. I didn't. I dropped out and faked it for the last semester. That was five years ago, and now we're married. I still haven't told him the truth.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
that's sad. Find a correspondence college, re-enrol and work on it at night.
#53
My boss got me into online gambling. I lost more than $500 incredibly quickly and have kept it a secret from my husband.
Bored Koala 2 years ago
I hope it's only a one-time thing.. if it's not, if you're still doing it and need help, it might actually be a good idea to tell your husband so he can help you
#55
She smokes when I'm not home, I know this because I always move the router to the window where the signals best, when I come home the router is in a different position away from the window, I put it back without her knowing and call her out for smoking, she has no idea how I keep finding out!
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
Because it smells strongly and can be detected at like 100 metres??
#56
I've slept with all three of my wife's sisters multiple times, and she doesn't know about it yet. I also have a secret child with her oldest sister. She'd kill me if she even heard a rumor about it.
Bored Koala 2 years ago
WTF! So, you cheated with all 3 of them, and you have a child with one of them! All 3 sisters betrayed your wife!! Do all 3 of them know that you've been with all of them?? Awful and disgusting excuse for sisters, awful and disgusting excuse for a man... I hope your wife leaves you and goes no contact with the women who are supposed to be her sisters, too!
Shark Lady 2 years ago
What a scumbag. It's bad enough cheating on your wife, but to sleep with her sisters and have a kid with one is despicable. I hope the wife does find out.
JuniorCJ82 2 years ago
You, my dude, are a gigantic steaming pile of elephant s**t. Your SILs are as well.
Ross “Sarcastic Dad” 2 years ago
How the f&ck do you have a "secret" child that's in the family? Did she just tell everyone she got knocked up on a one night stand? Kid thinks you're his uncle? Come on, man. This isn't Pokémon. You're not trying to collect the whole set.
Gold Medal? 🥇 🤞🤞 1 year ago
You are truly one of the most disgusting people I have ever seen in my life.
#57
A week before I married my wife, I got really drunk with my best friend (a man, like me), and we ended up making out and giving each other BJs. During the whole ceremony, we kept exchanging awkward glimpses. We've never discussed what happened with each other. I never told my wife (or anyone), but I still think about the experience and get all hot and bothered.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago (edited)
oh dear. So the question is... are you gay, bi, or what, and do you think your wife would be able to deal with it?
#58
I've never told my husband that I absolutely HATE the three kids he has from his previous marriage. I've despised them since the moment I met them. I can't stand them. They literally disgust me. They are NOTHING like him.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago (edited)
This person needs to say why. My guess is that she's upset that he prioritses them and she's seeing more evil in them than is really there. Sounds spiteful. I've had this scenario. A parent always prioritises their kids, over everyone. Get over yourself. Once they;re grown up and out the house, you will have him all to yourself, with your poisoned apples.
Ross “Sarcastic Dad” 2 years ago
I would put my entire savings on the feelings being mutual.
Load More Replies... #59
My biggest secret is that I'm only staying married to him for financial reasons. We've been together for 15 years, married for six of them. Our lives are so intertwined that it wouldn't be easy to untangle them. Plus, he doesn't really know how to take care of himself and doesn't make enough to support himself on his own. I make twice as much as him (and have done so the entire time we've been together) and pay all the bills and take care of everything. The cherry on top of this is that I'm also having an affair with his close friend. That wasn't planned, and it's just sex, but it's really the only thing keeping me from just running away from everything right now.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
sounds like he needs help getting independent rather. Try push him into financial independence so you can leave.
#60
When I was engaged, I was at a friend's wedding and fooled around with another guy. I told my fiancé that the other guy and I only kissed in a random, drunken moment. In reality, we did A LOT more than just one kiss. Now, after more than 10 years of marriage and several kids later, I still feel guilty about it.
#61
My ex made up a person and spoke to me as them. We met when we were quite young and were both pretty weird... I put it down to insecurity and wanting to look like she had cool friends (I was a little older). I never let on that I knew because it would have been super embarrassing for her and this was literally the start of the relationship. She made up quite a few stories about this guy and I got a few emails from "him". She didn't realise that changing the name of the account didn't actually change the address, which was fully visible.
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What do you think ?
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
some dodgy stuff, some not so awful stuff, and some really awful stuff. Seems a lot of problems are hangups from the past. People must go easier on themselves and forgive themselves so they can move on.
Claire the Devils Advocate 2 years ago
Only able to read the first 30 posts, 31 would not load, anyone else have this issue?
Squirrelly Panda 2 years ago
The list was shortened from 61 to 30 - as bored panda tends to do. I wonder if you happened to be reading it right when it was shortened so you got 30 and no option to load the rest.
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David Smith 2 years ago
I will continue to testify about Dr marcus for bringing joy and happiness into my life. My name are David Smith, and I love playing the lottery game, I have been buying lottery tickets for so many years, but I have not been lucky enough to win, but still hoping I win some days, on this very faithful day when I was doing review about the lottery I saw someone comment about how a man help her won the lottery, I was a bit skeptical but decided to give it a try. So I copied the email DRMACUSSPELLCASTER@GMAIL.COM on the comment and sent him a message, he responded in two days time! ( Yes he can help me win the lottery) I was so happy, I gave him all his requirements, so he proceeded with his work. He gave the five numbers 20,34,39,43,57 which I can still clearly remember! So I went ahead and bought my ticket at Michiganlottery.com, I was checking my tickets online on Wednesday morning, and out of the corner of my eye I saw the $1 million prize.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
some dodgy stuff, some not so awful stuff, and some really awful stuff. Seems a lot of problems are hangups from the past. People must go easier on themselves and forgive themselves so they can move on.
Claire the Devils Advocate 2 years ago
Only able to read the first 30 posts, 31 would not load, anyone else have this issue?
Squirrelly Panda 2 years ago
The list was shortened from 61 to 30 - as bored panda tends to do. I wonder if you happened to be reading it right when it was shortened so you got 30 and no option to load the rest.
Load More Replies... David Smith 2 years ago
I will continue to testify about Dr marcus for bringing joy and happiness into my life. My name are David Smith, and I love playing the lottery game, I have been buying lottery tickets for so many years, but I have not been lucky enough to win, but still hoping I win some days, on this very faithful day when I was doing review about the lottery I saw someone comment about how a man help her won the lottery, I was a bit skeptical but decided to give it a try. So I copied the email DRMACUSSPELLCASTER@GMAIL.COM on the comment and sent him a message, he responded in two days time! ( Yes he can help me win the lottery) I was so happy, I gave him all his requirements, so he proceeded with his work. He gave the five numbers 20,34,39,43,57 which I can still clearly remember! So I went ahead and bought my ticket at Michiganlottery.com, I was checking my tickets online on Wednesday morning, and out of the corner of my eye I saw the $1 million prize.
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