“My Wife Doesn’t Know That I Know Her Secret”: 30 Relationship Secrets People Believe They’ll Take To Their Graves
We like to think when that special someone comes around, we'll have the emotional capacity to cherish our relationship. But for many couples, this is possible only partially.
For example, one survey revealed that 43% of Americans who are romantically involved have an online account their partner doesn't know about. Similarly, another survey revealed that 23% of U.S. adults who are married, in a civil partnership, or living together are currently financially unfaithful to their loved one.
To learn more about how these things manifest in everyday life, let's look at a Reddit post by user u/Riptidecharger that asked people to share some of the dirtiest secrets they or their significant other refuse to reveal.
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Ok, so I found out my fiancé was wanting to ask me to marry him but wanted to get a super expensive ring for me so it was taking time to save up. I don't give a c**p about that type of thing. I'd marry him without a ring. That's not what's important to me. So I went to his mom and told her what I knew and she told me we should go look at rings together so maybe I could pick something less expensive so she could tell him we had been shopping and I had fallen in love with a ring that he could afford. I know, I'm sneaky. Anyway, I found an incredible ring that was normally $500 but on sale for $100. I bought the ring and she called him and told him what she did. He was so happy!!! He asked me to marry him on Christmas Eve and it was by far one of the best days of my life. He has no clue that I was involved in the purchase. So, he's keeping the secret that he doesn't know that I know.
EDIT: Thank you for the gold! I love you guys/gals!!! 💛
My mom's friend won about $4.5 million in the lottery and didn't tell her husband for almost two years. He was a real blue-collar guy who just went to work and came home, and she was responsible for all of the finances. One day, she walked into his factory, told him she'd won the lottery, and said everything was paid off and that they were going to both retire. And they did. They are the happiest couple I've ever met.
Basically, she did tell him, but waited to get everything paid off and retirement all lined up before telling him. Luckily he’s a good guy, and not one of those selfish SOBs who siphon off all their SO’s money.
When we were in the hospital for some weird pain that I had, uninsured, and the doctors thought it might be cancer, I lost it a bit. She was so brave for me.
But her mother called, she went into the bathroom to talk but she didn't know that the sound echoed pretty loudly into the room. I heard her break down, sobbing, telling her mom she didn't know how we were going to pay for treatment and that it looked really bad. I'll never tell her I heard her, but god it was heartbreaking.
When she came out you wouldn't even know she was even upset, she hid it so well. She sat right down and told me everything was going to be fine with such determination and such certainty. Literally took out her computer then and there and started making a f*****g spreadsheet of our finances to fit in cancer. I knew how much she loved me in that moment and how important it was for her that she was brave for me. I don't know why but I got so calm after that, I haven't broken down like that since, even with worse news. I guess she makes me strong... god, I f*****g love her.
**Edit:** People are wondering if it is cancer, unfortunately, yes I have stage 4 colon cancer (age 23).
Had some major surgery which removed: both ovaries, uterus, both fallopian tubes, cervix (they made me a new one??? Science, man...), appendix, a third of my colon, a spot on my liver, and around 20 lymph nodes.
Got a port put in and should be starting chemo next week. Unfortunately, there is no cure for colon cancer yet. My doc describes my situation as "treatable but not curable" but there are clinical trials and research being done, plus I heard maintenance chemo isn't too bad... So I'm going to fight like hell.
(Also by now, you may have guessed I'm a woman :) )
**Edit 2:** Hell yeah my girl and I are still together!!! We actually just celebrated our 1 year wedding anniversary.
I, unfortunately, f****d up our anniversary plans (God, I just HAD to go and get cancer -.-) but we've celebrated in our own way and the docs said they can work my chemo around our honeymoon that we have planned in August :)
**Edit 3:** ok this is a lot of edits but I think this is important:
please **DO NOT IGNORE SYMPTOMS**
You know the only symptoms I had for stage 4 colon cancer? Three weeks of some bloating and then 4 days where I had some on and off sharp pain. That's it, and I already had two cysts on my ovaries the sizes of grapefruits. The doctors said that it probably started 6 months before that... That's 5 months of nothing, then some bloating and all of a sudden stage 4 cancer. (I got surgery less than a month later and my doc said my ovaries were the sizes of FOOTBALLS.... EACH)
I was hesitant about getting it checked out too because f**k medical bills. But my grandmother ignored her bloating, and when she finally let us take her to a doctor she found out on a Friday she had stage 4 ovarian cancer and the next Friday she was dead. I don't play around with my symptoms anymore.
(and guys out there, don't think this doesn't apply to you too, my brother had pain for a few days in his junk and my family ignored it. His girlfriend rushed him to the hospital and it was testicular cancer, he lost a ball. Don't be like us, don't lose a ball).
You're life is worth so much more than whatever medical bills come up. We thought for a while we would have to pay out of pocket (and we did for everything when we were still in NZ) but thanks to the ACA I am covered now.
That doesn't mean things aren't still expensive, or that we don't need a real overhaul of the way we treat health insurance in the US, but god damn you are worth so much more than whatever you will owe. I know it's so f****d up, but if you learn anything from me, learn not to ignore your symptoms.
(Educate yourselves on your states laws and programs- sometimes under a certain age you get free healthcare (NY) and my insurance tried to lie to me about being covered because I'm married and it's because I knew (because my wife told me, obviously) that that's not true, I am not thousands in debt right now)
Love you all, take care of yourselves, and thank you so much for the love.
Words fail me right now... so, I'll just say I wish you the very, very, very best!!!
Her Caesar salad dressing. It's actually the best thing ever but even after two years she refuses to tell me what's in it. What she doesn't know is that I have secretly been watching her make it over the past few months. I have finally pieced it together and now I have the power!!
Edit: Everyone wants the secret recipe. But she has reddit, and I prefer life.
Please upvote Razor it’s not fair for him to get banned just because he didn’t get a joke
This is a past-tense secret, but my GF at the time decided to surprise me by buying a holiday to Brussels for us over my 30th Birthday. I accidentally intercepted the hotel conformation email, so decided it was a good time to propose, as I'd been considering it for about 6 months.
Act all surprised when she tells me, then when we're having dinner in the restaurant on the 1st night, I get down on one knee and propose.
Celebrating our 3 year wedding anniversary at the end of next month
Everybody likes snacks, right? Some of us like chips, others like fruit, or yogurt. Well, my wife likes croutons. Frozen croutons to be exact and she tries to hide it like an alcoholic hides bottles of vodka. Where does she hide the croutons? In the freezer. At first I'd put them in the pantry when we get home from the grocery store, but they'd always end up in the freezer. I'd be like, "Uh, hon, what's up with the croutons in the freezer?" and she'd act like she had no idea what I was talking about. Now here's the thing, I've tried them and now I'm addicted to them too. So now I openly eat cold croutons out of the freezer as a snack, and she tells me what a weirdo I am while she eats half the bag with me. No idea why she's embarassed to admit what a genius she is for discovering such an awesome snack. BTW, the best kind is Chatham Village garlic and cheese flavor.
I got pregnant the very first time my now-husband and I slept together. I was in my very early 20s and didn’t know him well, so there was no question that I'd have an abortion. I never told him about it because I never expected to keep dating him. It was the right call at that time in my life. We've now been together for close to a decade and have two amazing kids. He probably will never know because we’ve built such a great life together, and I think it'd be unnecessary to talk about it.
Good decision. At this point telling him would serve no good purpose for him. Often people unburden themselves from secrets without realizing that all that will do is shift the burden and pain to another person. If you told him now, he would begin a grief process that you have already managed for years. It would potentially damage or ruin the good life that you have built together. Letting him live in peaceful ignorance is the most loving thing you can do.
Her ex is in town and she is secretly meeting him behind my back.
I know this because her location is always shared with me due to her habit of forgetting where her phone is.
Edit: Wow! I was expecting to have this comment ignored cos I was late to the party but wow!
Anyway. I am going through the questions you guys have and I will answer them as I read them.
I will certainly update everyone once I decide what to do.
If she still loves him, I don't want to step in the way. I am waiting for her to come clean to me on her own and if she does, I won't tell her I already knew. What hurts me is that she is indeed cheating on me.
She is being extra affectionate. She's putting more effort into her appearance. She's more interested in my schedule than ever before but never expressing I should come home soon.
The app we have is find my friends on iPhone. Instead of asking of her whereabouts, we share our location with each other. Also so in case the phone is missing somewhere, we know where it is.
I know where the ex is living and I can see that she's there very regularly.
I am going to give her some time to come clean. For the sake of our child and our 8 year marriage.
Edit 2: All right, thank you everyone for your support and well wishes. I truly appreciate it.
Some people were not too impressed with my patience and mistook it for being a cuck, I understand where you're coming from. I'm not an impulsive person. It is a strength and a weakness.
I'm seeing a lawyer on Friday to plan my next steps. I'm depressed and miserable and it is not a very great shape to be in.
Once again, thank you everyone.
I will say taking time is probably better than impulsive decisions, but she sure isn't thinking about your kids or 8 year marriage!!
He hides chocolate bars in his work bag. Bastard.
He had always said he hates to cuddle at night because it gets hot/ it's uncomfortable/I hog the blankets/ect. However, when he thinks I'm asleep he'll scoot over and wrap his body around me. If I even make a move like I'm awake, he'll run back to his side and pretend it never happened. I think its freaking adorable.
Even though we had been married for 25 years, my wife and I always invented stupid private jokes between each other. I was lamenting the fact that we had fostered a Siamese cat from an adoption group, that eventually got adopted, and I really missed her. At one point, we were looking through the website of the local pound, and a Siamese came up named "Montague."
The photo that they took of Montague was epic. A classic Applehead Siamese, he was neutered, about five years old, and had horribly crossed eyes. Whoever took the photograph of him made him look both proud, distinguished, and adorably insane. Like some crazy dude that comes into the bar as a regular, claims he's the emperor of the United States of America, and everybody buys him a round because even though he is clearly crazy, he is also very charming. We started making up all the stories about Montague in a spoof of "The world's most interesting man." Week after week, we checked to see if he had been adopted, but nobody wanted a crazy looking cross eyed Siamese cat. Everyone at the pound said he was affectionate, and had been there for quite some time.
Sadly, this would be our last private joke together. My wife, who had a terminal illness, suddenly gotten much worse and passed away rather rapidly. We thought we had more time together, but she had sarcoidosis, and her lungs had already been weakened by repeated pneumonia, when she got the flu. Because she was on immunosuppressants for her condition, this is what did her in, she went into a coma, and died a week later.
My sister helped me with the funeral and taking care of a lot of things, including contacting everyone in her phone contacts on her cell phone. She asked me about why the Alexandria pound would be trying to contact my late wife via voicemail. Apparently, my wife had applied to adopt Montague as a surprise gift. She paid the adoption fee and had scheduled a visit to adopt him. But she died before the appointment date.
Sadly, my wife put it in her name only, and the people at the pound were pretty rude about it. Like to adopt Montague I'd have to pay ANOTHER adoption fee, and they were made that she didn't show up, and at the time it was chaos I couldn't deal with. My sister gave them an earful and they told her to go to hell.
That ended that.
I hope Montague eventually found a loving family.
Edit 1: This got a LOT of attention. Your support has been so amazing. I couldn't find any of the original pictures of Montague, BUT, my wife had made a few private in-joke Memes from one of his pound pictures (not a very good one, I am afraid). I put two of them here from Montague's "Meanwhile, at the Legion of Doom" phase of our jokes.
http://imgur.com/a/9M8UE
Edit 2: Don't go after the pound, that was over 3 years ago, and I wasn't right in the head about my wife's passing. I am sure they have rotated staff. BUT I did get a Siamese rescue last year from a friend of mine who has a farm where people dump cats (long story). Here's some of HER pictures.
http://imgur.com/gallery/cLF2O
How heartless do you have to be to give a dude hell because his wife had arranged to adopt a cat but she died and didn't show? Couldn't they have checked his driver's license or something?
I found out she had a credit card she had charged $2200 to. I confronted her for hiding it, and she admitted it and we paid it off...that's the stupid part, we had the money in the bank. Her brother is in prison and he manipulates her into sending him money. She agreed not to do that anymore. The other day, I drove her car and there was an invoice stuck down between the console and parking brake lever. She has another credit card. I opened it and discovered she owes $1800 on that one. She doesn't know I know...yet.
big problem. My suggestion would be to leave the invoice open on the table one morning, and go to work. Let her see it open and read. She will then have the whole day to mitigate it.
Ex-girl. She had a fairly large scar on her back and was incredibly self-conscious about it. She wouldn't even take her shirt off the first time we had sex. When I asked her about it, she said she had fallen from her horse when she was young.
Fast forward a little and I'm out finding her a birthday present and have enlisted the help of her friend. I pick out a sexy singlet and her friend just looks out me like I'm stupid. Apparently the scar on her back, which the singlet clearly revealed, wasn't from a fall, but an abusive ex-boyfriend who had pushed her onto his motorbikes exhaust pipe and burnt her.
We ended on good terms, and I never told her I knew. I hope she is doing well.
while it's great that he's comfortable about the scar, it's very likely that she's hiding the scar for her own benefit. Imagine trying to get intimate with someone but every time they look at or touch a certain part of your body you have flashbacks of a terrible person and experience. If this is the case for her, I hope she can find therapy to help her come to terms with it.
His affair. I knew for 3 weeks before he left (to look after his allegedly sick dad) and for 2 weeks after before I told him I knew. He said last week he's ended it and sees what he has missed but I know he's still sleeping and living with her whilst messaging me. Basically what he just did to me - I'm his wife, we were together 12 years. He just can't stop lying. He may be genuinely remorseful right now but I can't get past his deceit.
Update. - sorry if my comment was confusing and thank you for all the replies. I found out in December, he was cruel and miserable throughout and nearly ruined Xmas for the kids. I suggested he go visit his 'sick dad' at NY and slammed that door right behind him. Took time off work (I was main earner then) and rearranged my life to take care of the kids and get a job with flexible hours. I'm happier. Kids are doing well. He's the one struggling now.
She says she doesn't want children.
I know that she actually does want children, and that she's not capable of having them, due to stumbling upon some medical records.
This one hurts so bad. I hope they can try a different route, like adopting.
When he's about to fall asleep he's completely honest. it was about 7 months in when he grabbed me and whispered into my ear "You're gonna be the mother of my children."
I told him and he was thoroughly embarrassed and he apologized. however I neglected to tell him that pretty much every night he would tell me that he loved me starting a month in.
I don't mind and I'm not trying to rush things and neither of us have any plans to jump into that sort of stuff right away but it's nice to know
My wife doesn't know that I know her secret. When we first started dating, it was long-distance. One time she visited me for four days, but I had to work during one of the days. While I was gone, she had to take a dump but clogged the toilet really badly. She couldn't get it to plunge and was freaking out, so she went to the kitchen and got a fork and a plastic bag and dug the turds out of the bowl and threw everything in the dumpster out back. She called her friend, panicking, and the friend thought it was hilarious. Years later, the friend told me all about it. I find it funny but don't want to embarrass her, so I'll never tell her that I know.
I most definitely wouldn't want to be friends with your wife's friend, that's for sure! People, if your friend tells you a secret, it doesn't matter if you think it's stupid/funny/not a big deal! What matters is the way that THEY feel about THEIR secret and you take it to your grave! (unless it they could critically hurt themselves or other innocent people - I think you know what I mean)
A girl I dated a few years back had just graduated with her bachelors so I took her out for a night on the town. Her and our friends got absolutely demolished and since this was before Uber, I volunteered to be DD. So around 2am she's tanked, we head out and she wants krystal burgers. Very adamant about that, so I stop by Krystals and order a steamer pack so I can have some too and then have leftovers. She eats somewhere around 8, I get her home, get her into her bed and she immediately passes out. I am sitting next to her watching some TV when I smell something. I notice that she has just s**t herself. She is one of those people who would be so ashamed of herself if anyone found out so I just... left. I called her the next day and told her I dropped her off, got her some water and headed home. Never mentioned her s******g herself or anything so to this day she thinks she did it in her sleep after I left. I could have stayed and helped her clean it up and I probably should have, but she would have cried over that and avoided me sporadically for weeks.
She is hiding baseball tickets for when my favorite team comes into town. She is waiting to give them to me on my birthday.
My (soon to be) ex-wife met another guy about a year and a half ago. She was so bad at hiding it that I thought she WANTED to get caught. Posting romantic stuff on her Instagram when we hadn't been romantic in a long time. Confronted her, lied even with solid evidence. A few months later stuff starts disappearing from the house, pretty obvious that she's moving out. Then we started to have no money every month(and I have a pretty okay job), realized she was stealing money basically by paying her bills twice a month with 3-4x the minimum payment and not paying mine. Let it go on for a bit and finally confronted her, she doesn't admit to it. I finally just pull my check from our joint account and she says she's leaving but is going to be homeless. The next day she had changed her facebook back to her maiden name and had a picture of her and the other guy at their new place. I don't know if this counts.
horrible story, but not uncommon. My mom did a similar thing minus the social media stuff.
He has been hiding he's autistic from me for ten years. (Should clarify it's a long running on again off again thing between us but even when it's off we were still good friends) He suffered abusive therapy and because of it thinks hiding his autism is the most important thing. Except that's like trying to hide an elephant in a bathroom, and he's not always super high functioning. So it's always a weird charade of me pretending he's not autistic while busting my a*s to gently handle that.
I have no idea how to talk to him about it. I know he has a formal diagnosis. He was so traumatized from institutional medical abuse in the name of therapy that even mentioning it or acknowledging it can cause him to have a meltdown. He thinks if I knew, I wouldn't love him anymore, but I've known for YEARS and I still love him. I like him just how he is, I just want things to be easier and less scary for him, and I don't know how to help most of the time because he won't admit the problem.
Do not directly confront him, instead talk to him in a kind and supportive way, about anyone else you may know who is on the spectrum. Drag him into the conversation by asking questions like what does he think about ... or you notice X is uncomfortable/acts a certain way in *this* situation, do you have any suggestions on how to make X more comfortable .. stuff like that.
A while ago, things got so bad finance-wise that we couldn't pay the bills for a month. My significant other was working 13-hour days, every day, and I wasn't getting any shifts at work. My parents couldn't help us, so I became a cam model. I earned over $100 in less than an hour, and it paid for our food that month. I only half-stripped, and I chatted a lot about innocent stuff, but I feel weird about it. I know my S.O. would feel totally betrayed, and I hate the fact that other men saw what only he should get to see.
It's ok, do what you have to do to survive. I do not judge people who do this. In the UK for example I heard a lot of students do this to pay their varsity fees.
"I've been lying to my husband about my eye color for our entire relationship. He has poor eyesight and couldn't originally tell that I wear ultra-realistic prescription color contacts. I've worn color contacts for about 10 years and only take them off to shower and to give my eyes a break. We've been married for five years now, and he still doesn't know that this isn't my actual eye color.
But.. why? Is it really that important... you're married now, I don't think he'd care ?? And it'd definitely give your eyes a break..
Back when I was first starting to make my artwork public, I had a kickstarter campaign to fund a tour. I had just started dating my SO, but he gave a relatively significant amount of money anonymously. He tripped up in selecting his "backer's reward"- an original piece mailed to his house. When I saw the address, I definitely didn't suspect his roommates were just super supportive of my art.
edit: When I read "worst secret", I thought it meant "most poorly kept" secret. Yes, we're still together, and I feel incredibly lucky for it. I said he gave a "relatively significant" amount. At the time, we were broke enough that I needed a kickstarter to fund my art. We're still pretty broke, but now I receive grants from the state council on the arts, the city, and residencies through various established arts organizations to fund my work...which is why I'd like to remain anonymous on here. Sorry, but support a local artist if you can! As for playing chess, I just lost a match to him this morning.
I’ve been married twice. My first husband and I got pregnant at 17, and my dad made us get married. We split amicably three years later, but we didn’t get divorced right away due to a lack of funds. We didn’t actually file the paperwork for another six years, which was a year after my second husband and I started dating. I never told him that I was married to someone else during the entire first year of our relationship.
Divorces are expensive. My ex-husband and I were separated for 8 years before we got divorced because we couldn't afford it... and it was an amicable split (we agreed on everything and worked together to put our child first) so an "easy" divorce so to speak. He ended up in a pretty serious relationship (engaged) and she refused to move in with him until he was divorced... so she paid for it. I am so thankful for her. They didn't end up getting married, but he's got a wonderful wife now. (I have decided marriage just isn't for me.)
My wife dropped my iPhone in a Port-A-Potty toilet. Luckily it has been so used there was a large pile of s**t which gently held the phone above the liquid. She cleaned it off and gave it back to me. A year later I upgraded and gave her my old phone.
She insisted on purchasing a new cover even though I had a high-end OtterBox. I never understood why until one of the kids told on her.
At night, once I go to bed, he binge watches Gossip girl.
I think we need to end the idea of 'guilty pleasures'. Do you like it? Then enjoy it. You shouldn't need to justify it to anyone.
I *know* she ate those cookies.
Found videos of my ex bending over, twerking and s**t, in my panties. Never told him.
And he creeps my reddit.
Hi Scott.
Edit: [Well, we did it reddit.](http://imgur.com/a/q0GfO)
Fixed the damn commas. There was no literal s**t lol
Double edit: totally awkward to explain to my current SO why I was on reddit constantly all night. Thankfully, he's the best.
Thanks for the edit! I'd thought there was literal sh!t involved, and it just took on a whole new level
My partner found a card in my car for a proposal to marry me...or so she thought. The card was actually meant for another woman I've also been dating for three years.
You're a pathetic and disgusting excuse for a human being... and you'll be miserable no matter who or how many women you date because you're the problem. For their sake, I hope they figure it out fast! As I don't think you were planning on breaking things off and probably just intended to marry one and keep the other one on the side..
Note: this post originally had 61 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
some dodgy stuff, some not so awful stuff, and some really awful stuff. Seems a lot of problems are hangups from the past. People must go easier on themselves and forgive themselves so they can move on.
Only able to read the first 30 posts, 31 would not load, anyone else have this issue?
The list was shortened from 61 to 30 - as bored panda tends to do. I wonder if you happened to be reading it right when it was shortened so you got 30 and no option to load the rest.
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I will continue to testify about Dr marcus for bringing joy and happiness into my life. My name are David Smith, and I love playing the lottery game, I have been buying lottery tickets for so many years, but I have not been lucky enough to win, but still hoping I win some days, on this very faithful day when I was doing review about the lottery I saw someone comment about how a man help her won the lottery, I was a bit skeptical but decided to give it a try. So I copied the email DRMACUSSPELLCASTER@GMAIL.COM on the comment and sent him a message, he responded in two days time! ( Yes he can help me win the lottery) I was so happy, I gave him all his requirements, so he proceeded with his work. He gave the five numbers 20,34,39,43,57 which I can still clearly remember! So I went ahead and bought my ticket at Michiganlottery.com, I was checking my tickets online on Wednesday morning, and out of the corner of my eye I saw the $1 million prize.
some dodgy stuff, some not so awful stuff, and some really awful stuff. Seems a lot of problems are hangups from the past. People must go easier on themselves and forgive themselves so they can move on.
Only able to read the first 30 posts, 31 would not load, anyone else have this issue?
The list was shortened from 61 to 30 - as bored panda tends to do. I wonder if you happened to be reading it right when it was shortened so you got 30 and no option to load the rest.
Load More Replies... I will continue to testify about Dr marcus for bringing joy and happiness into my life. My name are David Smith, and I love playing the lottery game, I have been buying lottery tickets for so many years, but I have not been lucky enough to win, but still hoping I win some days, on this very faithful day when I was doing review about the lottery I saw someone comment about how a man help her won the lottery, I was a bit skeptical but decided to give it a try. So I copied the email DRMACUSSPELLCASTER@GMAIL.COM on the comment and sent him a message, he responded in two days time! ( Yes he can help me win the lottery) I was so happy, I gave him all his requirements, so he proceeded with his work. He gave the five numbers 20,34,39,43,57 which I can still clearly remember! So I went ahead and bought my ticket at Michiganlottery.com, I was checking my tickets online on Wednesday morning, and out of the corner of my eye I saw the $1 million prize.
