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Someone Asks “What Is The Worst Parenting Trend To Date?” And People Give 40 Perfectly Blunt Answers
I hope that everyone agrees that not vaccinating your child is an ill way of parenting. Other parenting trends like letting kids do whatever they want and run amok like there’s no tomorrow are also questionable. But the subject matter is delicate, since we also like to believe that for the most part, parents know what’s best for their kids. Or do they?
Well, these two threads from Ask Reddit will shed some light on common parenting styles that are not necessarily healthy. In fact, people claim they’re everything but. “What is the worst parenting trend to date?” someone asked a while ago, and just recently a similar question popped up: "What parenting 'trend' do you strongly disagree with?"
Below we selected some thought-provoking arguments people shared in response to the questions. Also, let us know what parenting trend you don’t agree with in the comments below!
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Y'all need to cut this anti-vaccination s**t out like right now. Vaccines save lives.
This deserves it's place on top of the list. With the other things you'll have rude and uneducated kids that become entitled adults, but at least they get to become adults.
There are as many parenting styles as there are parents, and there’s no universal recipe on how to raise your children. But because the current generation faces unprecedented challenges, it also requires tact and special behavior from parents to be able to keep up with the changing times and the increased demands of parenting and child-rearing.
when ppl posts videos online of them punishing their kids. ex: “dad shaves girls head for txting boyfriend.” what in the sick hell kinda sh*t is that? and nobody seems to have a problem with that or thinks about how incredibly traumatic it’s going to be for that child. and the parents who do this literally make me sick. who is that for even? what are you trying to prove by humiliating your child in front of possibly thousands of ppl or more. ppl like this deserve to have their kids taken away. sorry not sorry.
Not teaching manners with other people's pets. You want to pat my dog you f**king ASK, then you introduce yourself to her (back of your hand to sniff), THEN you may pat her. DO NOT harass her. My dog is a sweetheart but she is an animal and she is at exactly the right height to bite your little darlings face off and then its my fault and my dog dies because you couldnt teach your brat some manners.
This should be so much higher. I have kids. I have dogs. One of my dogs LOVES kids. Loves being ridden like a horse (120lb german shepherd) and having small children climbing all over him. The other one is terrified of kids, luckily he has a very mean bark and isn't confrontational. He puffs himself up, barks as loud as he can and retreats backwards while barking. It's enough to scare them off. It's the parents not the kids or my dog. *EDIT* hey look it's number 2 now 😁
The coronavirus pandemic and political turmoil and war we see in Europe right now, as well as the inflation reaching sky highs all bring their own kind of uncertainty. For this reason, many parents are reevaluating the common parenting tactics previous generations took for granted.
Communicating trauma and being open about difficulties is one such new trend we see among parents. Another new style emerging is that more and more parents choose to provide their kids with experiences instead of material gifts. This is how you create memorable experiences and establish a better bond with your kid.
Not teaching basic manners and giving them a ridiculous sense of entitlement.
Yes! That kid is your diamond, great! He/she is a pain in my butt. I do not live your diamond.
Shielding children from the natural consequences of their actions. They don't learn from their mistakes and the consequence price tags are so much higher when they become adults.
How I was taught and how I taught my daughter. Do not be afraid from making mistakes, just make sure you learn from the experience in not repeating them.
I hate when parents get mad at me for telling off their kids. I work in hospitality and we have a bowl of mints at the bar with tongs to grab them out. One night these three kids, all under age 10 but old enough to know better, just started diving their hands into the bowl. I told them politely to use the tongs, then I told them off when they ignored my request. The parents got mad at me instead of their kids, even though their kids just made me throw out a whole bowl of mints. If you're incapable of disciplining your child properly, don't get upset when someone else does it for you.
YES. It takes a village to raise a child and parents should expect that village will need to reprimand your kid once in a while.
But no matter what new trends emerge in parenting, one very common flaw will probably outlive them all. And you guessed it… it’s spoiling kids. In fact, over half this survey of 1,125 parents with kids between 4 and 10 confessed that they spoil their children too much. Another 2 in 5 go even further, saying they’re sometimes “embarrassed by how selfish their child acts.”
Spoiled kids don’t get to know and feel what it is like to be grateful, as gratitude is not something that children acquire automatically. It needs to be nurtured, in an age-appropriate way, but the more they get used to getting their way easily, the harder it is to turn them around.
Parent of teens here! All of my kids have had a friend that stayed the night at our house because the friend missed curfew at home and wasn't allowed in the house. I don't get it. Punishing the kid for missing curfew is totally acceptable. But not letting them in their own house in the middle of the night? What good can possibly come from that? My own kids rarely missed their curfew but when they did, they knew that they could come home, to a safe place, and face the consequences the next day.
I agree with this 1000%. I woke up one morning and saw the neighbor's kid asleep on the porch. When I went to see if he was OK, he told me he missed curfew and was locked out for the night. That is so horrible!
Gender reveal parties.
I get that parents-to-be are excited about their new lives and as long as they aren't setting fires or making a huge mess of things, then go for it. Just understand that most people aren't nearly as invested as you are in your future child's sex. This would be the second most boring social event, right behind the baby shower. Only my opinion.
Beauty Pageants. I have no problem with them it's just that the age these parents make their kids enter and the s**t they do to try to win like doping them up on sugar and energy drinks. Using spray tans and makeup on kids that are sometimes 1-2 years old! And in the end they extort their child for little to no monetary gain. I've seen parents neglect their other kids in favor of the pagent queen. And in the end you get a spoiled brat that throws a hissy fit and is disrespectful. But who cares, you spent 15k to win 5k and you're on TLC
So in order to find out more about how being spoiled in childhood may affect your adult life, we spoke with Lynn How, the author of “Positive Young Mind'' and life coach who specializes in supporting educators, parents, and children with improving and prevention of mental health issues. She also runs this Facebook teacher coaching group which is an excellent resource for teachers in need of support when leaving, changing their mindset, changing their schools or setting healthy work/life boundaries.
“Do you know anyone who has trouble keeping their emotions in check when they don’t get their own way?” Lynn said and added that it may be that they were spoilt as a child and this hasn’t done them any favors as they move into their adult life.
"Boys will be boys".
this should be used when boys are doing something like putting hot dogs on the slide, not for s3xual h@rassment (edit: ty all SO MUCH for the upvotes!!!)
Unschooling. I agree that kids should have some sort of say in what they learn - if your kid is really interested in, say, bugs, then by god you take them to every bug museum you can find and buy them all the bug books - BUT kids should have a basic curriculum whether they're interested in it or not. I get that most kids don't like math, or history, or the "boring" classes, but I strongly disagree with the unschooling attitude of "my kid does not want to learn it, so I won't make them."
Parents never telling their children "no" and refusing to set any boundaries.
I get empowering children by giving them a voice in decision-making and the freedom to speak their minds, but general social norms would be nice.
Listening to 8 year olds throw fits in public and being rude to family and strangers (at top volume) is not endearing in any way.
“These children may turn into adults who show less resilience when things go wrong and they may give up easily when things aren’t working out. Also, they want it all and they want it now whereas most adults can tolerate delayed gratification,” she explained.
Videoing kids at their worst moments and then posting it on social media.
A very distant relative of mine has a YouTube channel with her unschooled kids, and they’re always crying in the back or telling her to stop the camera and it’s just insane that she still posts it
Taking youth sports too seriously.
I helped with and attended games for years, and can count on one hand the number of times I saw a child lose their temper. Parents lost it all the time. More than once I've seen a parent have to be physically restrained.
Ear piercing babies. That pisses me off. Let them decide. Don't put your vanity onto your baby. ESPECIALLY with piercing guns.
Had my ears pierced as a baby. Now I have 6 in one ear, 4 in the other (including a Daith piercing). And tattoos. Hehe, maybe I can blame it on not having a choice when I was a kid. The rest were my choice and my decision.
Moreover, “other traits that they may display include a lack of independence as their problems were generally solved for them, an inability to take criticism as nothing they did badly would invoke the appropriate feedback and the idea that everything should just come to them easily without too much work.”
“This last point is also coupled with a huge sense of disappointment when it doesn’t work out. All in all, this doesn’t set a child up to have positive relationships or good mental health as an adult.”
Making a kid finish their plate.
Also, keep in mind serving size for a 5yo should be much smaller than a teenager or adult. If it doesn't satisfy, let them have a bit more, but never force food on kids.
1000% what you said. I have said the same thing before. People know damn well their kids aren't going to eat that much and still pull that nonsense. And here, for anyone curious: adult stomach is about 12 inches long and 6 inches wide, a teen is about 8-10 in length and 4-5 width, a toddler is about the size of their fist. Between toddler and teen it grows more but still, their stomachs are significantly smaller than an adult getting to teen size but still can only eat at most half an adult portion. (This is a Google search and not verified on legit medical/nutrition site)
Load More Replies...I don't think this is a parenting trend. It stems of the depression days when food was expensive and scarce in kitchens and parents didn't tolerate wasted food. Mind you, the food on the kid's plates were not heaping. This practice was considered good, strict parenting and it just stuck for generations after in some families. I remember my step-mom being the worst. She makes a ton of food, way too much, and expects it all to be eaten even if you're stuffed and stomach is in pain. That's when it really turns into abuse.
Good point. My parents went through the Depression, my mother in the Dust Bowl. We always had to clean up our plates, but Mom was a good cook and gave us appropriate helpings.
Load More Replies...This one is horrible. I was forced to clean my plate as a child and I still have food issues because of it. I NEVER make my nieces and nephews clean their plate at my house. As long as they are satisfied and tried one bite of each item, they can stop eating.
I’m an auntie too, what do you do if you know in half an hour they’re going to want a packet of crisps etc, because they didn’t eat all their dinner? I hate seeing food wasted, sometimes I say shall I save that for you and we can reheat it, but usually they’ve put it in the bin and their plate in the dishwasher by then! I’m running out of ideas for healthy snacks! But I always praise them for trying anything as I have some food issues too.
Load More Replies...I was never much of an eater, even sweets, as a child. Wasting time eating interfered with my play time. My parents never made me finish a plate. They would always insist that I eat one bite of each thing so I had at least a protein and a vegetable with some variety. I have never struggled with weight and have pretty darn good health decades later. Oddly enough my favorite food now is seafood, which I never got to eat when I was little. Kids will always eat enough to survive, just mix it up so they get nutrition.
My son (3) frequently refuses dinner. I've never forced him to eat. But if he wants dessert or a snack before bed, he has to eat dinner first. As long as he's peeing and pooping normally, I really don't worry about it.
Load More Replies...If the kid is full they are full. End of. If you're worried about waste then don't put so much on their plate. They can always take more if they are still hungry. This way the food is not wasted and also not forced onto a poor child. I personally ended up finding ways to throw the food away without my parents knowledge meaning it was wasted instead of potentially being another meal for tomorrow.
I went off on a friend once when he told his daughter she had to clean her plate. Probably more then he deserved, but I was raised to clean my plate even if I hadn't dished up the food on it. I struggle with weight to this day, and I'm 58. This wasn't the only reason, but it did send the message to not listen to my body and what it was telling me.
This was kinda stupid. If the parents put too much food on the plates, then the children might get sick. Also, if you have picky children, give them no thank you portions so that they can try everything, and let them pick what they would rather have. That was just how I was raised, and you can disagree, but I'm just saying this.
Some kids will not eat what is made, I never made separate meals for each kid. Not respectful and rude. You got a peanut butter sandwich you made yourself when I was a kid if O didn't like what was for supper.
Load More Replies...Im a teen with eating issues because my mom calls me too fat several times a week. Still, she forces me to finish the plate. Somedays, I cant even eat in front of her because i know, in 2 hours, she will call me fat anyway. IM NOT EVEN OVERWEIGHT. I FEEL GOOD IN MY BODY, WHY WOULD SHE WANT TO DESTROY THAT.
My daughter complained about her mom's boyfriend (we were divorced by then) insited she finish her plate when they went out to dinner because "he paid for it". I suggested next time she eat as much as she could and then a little more and throw up in his truck. Maybe I'm the bad parent, but made her laugh. Also she was good enough not to follow my advice.
Their stomach is about the size of their first. If you have a tiny kid with a tiny fist don't cover a dinner plate in food and expect them to finish.
Also making a growing teenager eat tiny meals that are the right size for their 8 year younger sibling...
My rules for my kids: 1) if you're not hungry, you don't have to eat, but if you want dessert or a snack later, you have to eat your dinner (or at least a reasonable amount) 2) If it's new, you have to try at least 3 bites; then if you don't like it, I'll make you a sandwich or something. 3) if it's not new, you eat what's made. I'm not making 3 different dinners.
At least 3 bites? I can tell if I dislike an item by the odor. Would not impose that rule on adult, let alone a child. And there is no way I made any of the kids/grandkids eat the dinner they didn't want at dinner time. Nothing wrong with a bowl of cereal. Another reason to love being an adult...no one gets to tell me when or what to eat. None of the kids had foods pushed on them.
Load More Replies...I especially don't like the approach of "eat three bites of your broccoli or you won't get dessert." It teaches kids that the goal of eating is to get dessert. Try to give them healthy foods they enjoy, but don't make it seem like a chore to eat healthy foods.
Talk about scarring your kid with food issues for the rest of their life. My son is 2 he eats what he wants when he wants.
I was always taught to finish my plate. I was told people were starving elsewhere in the world and it's a sin to waste food. I served myself at an early age and never overfilled my plate. If I was too full on occasion my mother would place the food I didn't finish in a small container for me to finish later.
I wanted to make a tunnel to Africa, to throw the stuff in that I didn't want, cause they said they would be so happy with this food.
Load More Replies...if its too much for them, dont let them have anything else that night. simple
Do not confuse this with teaching a child to only take what they can eat. I have seen spoiled brats fill a plate with mashed potatoes and quit eating after 2 bites. There is a happy medium here. It is called parental supervision!
If their full, their full, don't make them overeat! I understand them getting more then not wanting it, but if there closed to being done and their full, It's okay! If you have another child let them have the rest
my six year old buddy understands this. meat gives you protein to make muscles, pasta gives you energy, vegetables give you minerals to make brains with and eggs make your farts stink! he doesnt have to clear the plate, but he does have to eat little bit of everything on his plate. no point in having muscles that let you run like sonic if you have no energy and no brain to control them with, right?
This only applies in some situations. My nieces and nephew would often lie about not being hungry and not wanting to finish eating so they could go play more or watch a movie. Then 10 minutes later they wanted more food. Little kids often do not have the innate attention span to eat their food. They find other things more important. Or they think if they refuse to eat dinner they can eat snack or dessert type foods later. It's important NOT to let your kids manipulate you like this. Anyone who thinks a 5 year old cannot plan this type of manipulation hasn't had a smart kid before, or paid attention to them. If the kid I'm watching refuses to finish eating only to want ice cream 20 minutes later..they get no ice cream. Period. Be firm with kids. Stop being their best friend, your NOT. Your a parent. It's hard, sometimes you kid will think they hate you. They will sulk in the next room for a half hour about how "mean" you are. Congratulations, you did it right.
We have always told our kids that they don't have to eat it, they have to try it. I saw the root of my eating disorder when we were visiting my mother and my son ordered a dish they weren't sure if but sounded nice. First, my mother said "if you order that, you better eat all of it!" And then when it turned out to be delicious and was almost all eaten, she said, "You'll never lose weight if you always eat so much". I corrected her in front of my son though. "I'm glad you are trying new things. If you don't like it, I will get you something else. Grandma won't have to pay for it, so you try whatever you want." Oh, and the weight was due to medication plus my mother's distorted view on what a healthy weight is. Basically, if you are over 100 pounds you are fat.
The flip side of this is becoming a short order cook for everything anyone in the family "likes". This is dinner. Eat it or don't.
That was a nightly battle between my husband and I. He's a member of the 'clean your plate club'. I totally disagree, it just makes for fat kids. I also don't believe in forcing kids to eat something they find disgusting, I do encourage at least trying a small bit of something first before rejecting it completely.
Hmmmm. Giving kids large portions. My kids always knew that they could come back for seconds and thirds if they wanted, but they finished their plate,
I understand where this practice came from (depression era survivors) but it was imposed upon me and now I overeat. ;(
I think that this one is more damaging than you realize. First of all, it teaches kids that "no" means nothing. Second thing, have you ever heard "if you do not finish your lunch, you will not get ice cream" from parents or grandparents? That is perfect to teach kids that overeating will get them some reward. We said that kids have to try what we put on the table, but they do not have to finish it and if they try and don't like it, they may get something else (not to infinite extend, but they can get yoghurt or pasta with ketchup or slice of bread with ham).
Our pediatrician said servings should be a tablespoon per year of life under five. So a three year old only needs three tablespoons of whatever dinner is. That's very little food. And force feeding a neurodivergent kid or one with a sensory processing disorder is just a recipe for a lifetime of parental distrust and food issues
Growing up me any brother would fall asleep at kitchen table or get beat for leaving the plate unfinished.. do not do this to your kids please
You're right, it's been around for a long time. I don't know why you're getting downvoted.
Load More Replies...Spent my entire life (I’m 74 yo tomorrow) overweight & unhappy. I was forced to clean my plate, which was loaded up for me by my parents or aunts/uncles. Spent so much time trying every diet that didn’t work so I just quit eating (still didn’t lose weight till I started drinking, as you probably already know that was a bad choice). So still overweight but now I’m at least healthy & don’t drink. Don’t do this to yourself or your children!
a kid has a smaller stomach than you, don't make them finish everything, they are humans, no robots
So much this!! I was forced to eat *everything* on my plate as a kid, and my parents endlessly over-served portion sizes, which of course led to poor eating habits that I had to correct as teenager and adult (unfortunately also led to an eating disorder as a teen). I NEVER make my kid eat more than he determines he needs. Food is for sustenance, and over-filling has negative impacts. He has a great relationship with food that I *wish* my parents had fostered in me. He also can set aside desserts rather than feeling a compulsive need to finish it after he's full. I still struggle with leaving food on my plate (so I had to learn instead to decrease my portions).
This was my childhood! Clean your plate! Sure, and then wonder why we have a obesity problem in the U.S. No one is learning anything good by being forced to continue eating when they aren't hungry anymore. Especially ridiculous when your parent is the one who put the food on the plate. However, when you start filling your own plate, you do learn quick that you can always get more if you're still hungry. My dad would even make us eat every drop of ketchup we took even if that was the only thing left on the plate. It was disgusting. We were a large family, eight kids, but come on if the reason was because of the cost of food....don't have so many kids. He once said, there are kids starving that would love that food. My response, I understand that but if I pack this food up and send it to them it would be rotting by the time they get it. He really didn't know what to say to that. This stopped when I had my own child.
Forcing a child to eat after their belly is full is asking for an eating disorder.
I was always made to eat everything on my plate (including food I hated) and even now I find myself felling like I have to finish what's on my plate - and I've always had a weight problem, meaning it's hard to diet as I can't leave anything. Please don't do that to your children.
Most people naturally avoid foods that they cannot tolerate, usually due to allergies. Kids have the right to avoid certain foods too. If they avoid all vegetables then you have to encourage them by (A) getting them to help grow the vegetables and ostentatiously freezing a small amount. You can get them to eat 'their' vegetables for years. (B) changing the name of the vegetable. My aunt hated pumpkin, but ate home-grown. I called Brussel Sprouts 'fairy cabbages', they all ate them. I cooked things I was allergic to, but my husband loved, just because you can't eat it doesn't mean the kids are allergic.
My parents would force me to eat every bite of something even if it made me physically sick to eat it (taste, texture, or I just had an upset stomach). Nowadays I force myself to eat every bite of something even if I feel like I'm going to be sick because of it.
My rule is if you're full stop eating, but don't come to me 5 minutes later and ask for dessert. If you're too full to finish your dinner, you're too full for dessert.
This is from past generations during the depression. I agree with you, my father always over filled my plate and forced me to finish it. Then I would get punished for throwing up at the table. This happened regularly.
ooo yes, definitely agree. I got an ed because of it and after 5 years I still haven't recovered. I know my parents didn't do it with bad intentions but I'm still here with the consequences
There is a fine line here. You do have to make sure your kids do get enough to eat. My child would forgo meals entirely just so she could play. Skipping meals like this would be detrimental to her health. So finishing your meal is a staple rule in our house, however the servings for children are geared to be small enough for them to manage. I am also more lenient if she can prove that she ate most of her dinner. I'm not going to allow her to eat a single chocolate chip for a meal just because she wants to get back to her game and does not want to take the time to eat half a sandwich. Everything within reason.
This isn't new at all. Us old folks remember very clearly being made to sit at the table until we ate what was on our plate back in the 50s, and even being served the same food for breakfast if we did not eat our dinner the night before. "Children are starving in China so eat what you are served" was a common enough refrain that it became a joke (the phrase, not the hungry children). I agree with getting kids to try new foods, but pick your battles. Try a "no thank you" helping of a teaspoon or so, but recognize that if a food literally is making your child gag, then maybe let them come to eating it or not in their own time.
my parents sometimes say like just eat x more bites please or finish that small bit at least, but usually just make sure ive had enough then let me go
It depends. For instance one time my son ate a couple bites of dinner at his grandparents but knew there was cake after and decided he wanted cake instead. I told him he had to at least finish his vegetables. Didn't have to finish everything even though it was a small amount. Just get some good nutrition before a bunch of sugar.
In my country's culture this is the norm and it always irks the f out of me!!! I even get this as an adult. I'm a rather skinny person and canbot eat very much and I feel so annoyed when I go somewhere and they get upset if I ca not finish the portion even tho I specified that I eat less and that they should give me a smaller portion. This is a stupid thing and this is how you give your kid an ED
And forcing them to try a whole serving of something new. My friend wanted to try sprouts. She had been forced to eat them as a kid, and hated them. I asked her if she wanted one leaf or two. Various friends have tried many new foods and drinks at my home. You can have as many tiny tastes as it takes to form an opinion, then try a bigger bit if you want. I had a lifetime of arguing with my dad, who said it was a waste not to have a whole portion to try.
When I was a kid my mom used to give me the same quantity of food she gave my dad but she didn't force me to eat it. I did it because all those children dying of hunger I saw on tv. I know, makes no sense.
My mom understood that. My 3 older sisters were all so different, she said meal time was: Daughter 1, yes you can thirds (she still can eat anything and not gain an ounce. I hate her sometimes lol) Daughter 2, please eat a little more (Just had no interest in eating) and Daughter 3, stop stealing food off D2's plate! (She would do that to make it look like D2 actually ate I think because they all had to sit until dinner was over)
Paediatricians are the first to tell you that children eat what they need and they'll eat when they need to. Forcing them to eat every morsel on their plates only makes it possible they will have eating disorders in the future.
I agree with this. Kids should finish their plates.I was raised with that you eat the food you take. And you are allowed to take more than once if you are still hungry. It teaches kids how to regulate portions and not to waste food. (of course only applies to children who actually can serve themselves.)
This is a bit complicated. I have a daughter who refuses to eat food cooked for meals but binges on snacks. Thing is, I don't let her. I give her small servings. If she likes it, she can ask for more. If she doesn't, she still needs to eat that small serving along with a fruit or veggie of her choice. It's a very fine balancing act. That said, heaping food on plate isn't going to help anyone.
I think it's ok as long as the child got to chose what went onto their plate and the parent is keeping calm during the inevitable confrontation. Wasting food is something that kids should be taught against.
If they don't finish then I get snacks - why would I complain?
I tottally agree with this. Although I never had this problem at home, only when visiting a siblings' friend's house . His mother made us eat all of whatever was on our (me and my siblings)plates and to finish the milk that she poured out in a pint glass. I used to hate it because I was a slow eater and I always had to stay behind while everyone else was shooed out after eating.
My mom's mom was a horrible cook - and human being - and as a small kid my mom was especially disgusted with her half raw pork ribs so at some point she refused to eat them. Granny force fed her until she threw up on the table, then got so sick she had to be hospitalized.
A friend's mom, let's call her Joli had a granny who was very strict with kids. Joli's mom was quite nice so she was not used to hardcore treatment. One day she visited Granny and she offered her lunch, which turned out to be a dish she hated and at home was never forced to eat. Granny said she can not leave the table until the food was gone and she meant it. Joli's aunt came by hours later and learned what was going on. When Granny left the room she tried to find a way to get rid of the food but she knew Granny would check the rubbish bin. So even though she herself hated the dish too, she gobbled it up just to free the poor kid. That's a hero in my eyes.
Load More Replies...Fighting over food, so pointless, put the dinner on the table, if they haven’t eaten it in 20 minutes, take the plate away, let the kid get down & go about their kid stuff. Don’t offer an alternative , fussy eater get nothing. They won’t starve to death if the pay miss one meal. My Mother & so many parents today battle over food & even punish their kids if they don’t scrape the plate clean, first step in creating an eating disorder. Children are the same as adults sometimes they’re simply not hungry or don’t like what’s on the plate, you wouldn’t punishing your partner for not finishing their dinner so why punish your kids.
All kids are different. We all really taste things differently so making them eat things that are really unpleasant for them is cruel. But a kid who refuses to taste anything new is problematic. My kid's favourite food was brocolli, and one of her first words was "more". But we got lucky. Not sure how I would have coped if my kid really didn't like fresh fruit and veg. It's not always the parent's fault.
My mother did this to me as a child. Despite the fact that she has alwau been overweight, she would give me the same portion size as herself, then scream at me when I couldnt finish my plate. Now , as an adult, I have to make my own plate, so I can control my portions, because I will litterally eat myself sick attempting to finish my plate if its over-full.
I was so spoiled by my dad. If my mom put to much of something on my plate, hed either tell me I only had to eat half of it or he would put it onto his plate and pretend it was his food in the first place. Miss you dad! 😘
I need to share this: my sister was born with life robbing allergies from food/other. So my parents were educated to the best of their abilities to protect. Her allergies were always changing. So they were careful about what we chose to eat or not. I loved tomatoes and whole cooked shrimp but got a severe rash if it touched my skin around my mouth, so they taught me how to eat them slowly without them dripping on my face. I didn't like eggs, so they found a way to get me to eat them in a way that I could. Cilantro and saffron made me gag and sick, they found out that I was allergic, they had such a strong taste of soap, who wants to eat soap. Would never eat spaghetti, they found out that my Auntie, as a joke would wrap a chili pepper around spaghetti and give it to me, so my Mom discovered a recipe made from tomato soup and made it special for me as I loved tomatoe soup. To make this shorter, I became a Great eater never fearing food, and will try almost anything. No bugs lol
This goes along with forcing them to eat foods they truly don't like.
Or forcing your child to eat something they don't like. Never happened to me when I was a child, but heard of instants of that happening.
This one I hate my ex mother in law did that to mine when they visited. Now hubby family had that rule I taught him to stop when he was full. If someone tried to make me eat more than I could I probably would've vomited on them also teach unhealthy eating habits.
I had to finish my plate every time. It made me suffer a lot. BUT! I was a very skinny kid so if they let me eat what I want I guess I'd eat sunshine :D my mom just did not allowed me to be a picky little a*s. Also I had normal amount of food on the plate to be consumed. There is two kind of dishes I'd never eat, and my mom never forced me to eat those things I hate.
I should have done that differently, but I didn't. I was raised by a mother who lived through the depression. She was a great mom, and I understand her reasoning on this. I tried it, but it didn't take on my two daughters. Oddly enough, I had no trouble with my sons for the most part. We did have one really bad episode with some cheese soup that had gone bad. The kids started complaining and I told them to eat it and stop complaining. Then I tasted it and realized that it had gone bad.
Makes for overweight adults. My husband was president of the 'clean your plate club'. I would stage a coup almost every dinnertime.
Dad tried this with me when I was about 3 years old, made me stay at the table until I had finished everything on my plate, I won that battle apparently
Nothing wrong with feeding your kids well, but I was told I had to eat all of my food on the plate as a kid and I had so many eating issues. My son has followed suit but he tells me when he's hungry, simples...
I think that it makes sense if you make your kid finish a plate if you know they have a problem not eating what is healthy, like vegatables and protein instead of the carbs. But dont force them to eat more than they can physically handle.
Do I firmly believe in looking at what's on the plate and asking them to have a few more bites of something before they run off? Sure. But that's because a lot of children will leave the parts they like least for last, so they may not have touched their veggies yet. (So you hug them and pat their belly and say "Hmm. It seems like you have enough room for two more bites. If they're carrots, then I'll save you dessert for tomorrow and you can head off to play.)
This is true and the statistics for over weight and diabetic children is staggering to say the least don't do this people if someone is not hungry please stop force feeding them we all go through periods when we're truly aren't hungry let them be
I disagree with this if kids don’t eat at meal they will likely eat junk food later on. This can lead to eating disorders and at other’s houses not finishing can be considered in polite. Just serve a reasonable amount
I'm not sure about this one. Mainly because my parents did this to me as a child and now I like pretty much all foods. Never had the chance to become a fussy eater. Eat what your given or get nothing lol
I don't think this is about pickiness as much as portions. My daughter knows she's expected to try anything and everything i make and, because she does without too much of a battle, i take her at her word when she [rarely] finds she really doesn't like it. On the occasions we have dessert or junk food after dinner, i don't mind if she only eats half of her meal to save room for a treat. But pretending she isn't hungry because she's holding out for something she deems better isn't going to be accommodated. When she magically decides she's hungry after all, her dinner awaits. At the same time, she's a strange case. Her picky phase almost always involved a refusal of something like chicken nuggets in favor of eating her weight in steamed veggies. Or she'd only eat yogurt from a baby food jar. Or she'd only eat raw mushrooms if i called them mouse guts. When she was about 4... i shıt you not... she wouldn't eat meat sauce, but asked for bolognese.
Load More Replies...When my Dad still lived in the state I live in when I was a small child, we spent alternate weekends with him. Despite knowing that I did not like certain food items, I was forced to have "no thank you helpings". When I wouldn't eat it because I did not like it (I have problems with texture, like I won't eat certain forms of potatoes, or certain forms of tomatoes) I was forced to sit there until I did. So I continued to sit there while everyone else was gone with the plate in front of me until they gave up. My Dad moved out of state for another job when I was 6 years old.
All my friends' Filipino moms always got on me about leaving a grain of rice on my plate. It all comes from a good place and heartfelt sentiment, but I swear it's the source of childhood obesity. I'd eat a huge plate of a rice, chicken, and spam eggrolls, then walk outside to get the mail, and upon coming BACK inside, was told I must be hungry after leaving the house, and should eat another plate. 0_0
This is really bad idea. As a kd, I was told I should eat every food mom made, but do you know adult who doesn't hate at least one food?
Or, at the opposite end of the spectrum, a stay-at-home mom acquaintance who prepares three completely different meals every night, in order to placate the monstrous, morbidly obese brats she and her accomplice are preparing to inflict on the world. Her children subsist on a diet of salt, sugar, grease, and narcissism. The best hope for society at large is that diabetes will kill them before they're old enough to do much harm.
Nobody should be forced to eat any more than they want to eat.
Load More Replies...taking the door off their room. i have neverrrrr understood this
Family vloggers. Growing up in front of a camera can be so damaging for a child. Don't even get me started on the child labour it is - using young kids to earn money isn't good parenting in my opinion.
Ryan's toy review. I remember the first time seeing it after my daughter told me about it. I had to explain to her that not everyone gets to go on vacation every month. Now I see that kid and he looks tired and miserable.
There are many different challenges a spoiled child is likely to face while growing up. “A lack of appropriate boundaries can be very confusing for a child and although on the outside, these children can seem argumentative and rude, this stems from a lack of self-confidence on the inside as they have not been given these tools,” Lynn explained.
“Once their safety blanket of the parents spoiling them has been removed, coping on their own would bring on anxiety which could manifest itself as a tantrum,” she added.
I think those parents who impose a raw vegan diet on their young kids - there is no way that a child can sustain itself on a raw vegan diet - you'd need to be constantly eating to get the necessary calories.
Vegetables and fruit are very high in fibre - both soluble and non-soluble - so you can be very full from relatively few calories compared with even a high-protein diet.
Vegan can be a struggle if the parent doesn't do the research. And a raw diet can be done as an adult, but it would still be difficult.
A raw vegan diet for a young child is basically child abuse.
Ohhhhh gaaaawd; a vegan parent; Dont force your kids to eat a sh1tty vegan diet
Modern day: Parents assuming that once a child hits school age that it's the schools responsibility to raise them. These same parents then get angry when their child is punished by the school.
See this FAR too often.
One of my best friends is an English teacher to 7-9th graders and..THIS. she doesn't get emails or calls from parents on how to help their kids learn. She gets angry emails about a child getting zeros on grades for not turning in homework. Emails stating "that was obviously A level work, all their other teachers gave them an A". In spelling and grammar there is only one correct way, there is rarely room for interpretation! After ten years of teaching she is rethinking her career choice. Not because of the children, because of the parents. She can't discipline a student who threw a desk at her twice. It's definitely a modern thing, my mom would have dragged me out of principal's office by my ear. This child's parent said she "misunderstood his actions".
Coddling sons while holding daughters to higher standards.
Moreover, Lynn argues that “often these children will have friendship issues as they find it challenging to let others have their own way and they may find it difficult to form positive relationships with other adults such as teachers due to difficulty with conformity.” She concluded that overall this adds up to a childhood that is more challenging than it needs to be.
Posting intimate pics of your kid all over social media.
Now, I have no issue with parents sharing adorable baby pics. Hell, I don't mind you guys sharing a lot of them. When you go through hell and back to carry, birth, and raise the kid, you get a pass on the social media sharing, somewhat.
HOWEVER, sharing pics of your kid in the bathtub and doing bodily functions is not okay. 1) It's gross. I don't think your kid's blowout diaper or "first poopy in the toilet" is funny or cute. I don't want that on my timeline. 2) Pedos are out there, be careful. 3) I know it's hard to imagine, but little Peighsyn is gonna be a big boy someday. In fact, he may even be on social media in the future. His friends (AND EMPLOYERS) are gonna see those gross vomit and poop pics. Not a good idea.
My sister in law keeps posting pictures of her daughters doing everyday kid activities, but what shocks me most are the comments. Every day there is at least one person commenting “wow so sexy” or other version of “sexy” on a picture where her daughters pose for the camera. It’s usually her female friends commenting and she replies things like “aww thank you” or such. Who the hell thinks a 5 year old is sexy? And what mother isn’t alarmed by such comments??
Maybe not the worst, but my parents forced me to play competitive sports for years when I clearly hated it and I'm still a little bitter. I was horrible at soccer, they even offered me 10 bucks for every goal I scored but I still couldn't do it. As an adult I still shudder a little every time I drive by a baseball field, thinking about how much time I wasted there and the embarrassment of sucking at something and getting laughed at by the other kids. This isn't to say I wasn't an athletic kid, I loved skating, riding bikes, hiking and all that. Parents - if your kid isn't good at a sport, doesn't have any interest in it and obviously has no talent for it, please don't make them do it.
My dad and his wife did this with their sons. I kid you not, they were forced to quit hockey and soccer due to damaged knees, shoulders and backs when they were in their teens.
Not giving kids privacy or personal space. I have teenagers and unless they give me a reason not to trust them, I don’t rummage around in their rooms or secretly read their texts.
I don't violate my kids personal space. Well they are adults now but still didn't do it while they were younger, but I also don't violate my wife's personal space either. I really dislike hearing people talking about going through their kids and spouses phones, wallets and other things, these people lack boundaries.
Not dressing your kids like kids.
Also raising your kids on YouTube/Instagram/TikTok before they're old enough to decide how much privacy they want in their lives.
Shielding their kid from failure. There are so many people now that are afraid of failing, so much so, that they don't even attempt something new if they have a hint that they may fail at it.
If a kid can't learn how to cope with failure, they turn into an adult man-child, who falsely claims that they had an election stolen from them!
Not saying a word about sexuality and shielding children from any sort of affection on tv or in real life.
I can't stress enough how much this has contributed to my intense shame whenever I masturbate and my inability to be intimate. Of course this is a compounded issue for me personally but such a censored childhood was the backbone for all of this pain.
Additionally....using "pet names" for your child's anatomy/genitals and not understanding why this is problematic/dangerous. If your child tells the teacher that uncle Tom licked their "cookie"....the teacher may not understand the SIGNIFICANCE of this confession. Teach kids the proper words for parts of their body.
Taking your kids to the pub with you on a weekend.
I'm not talking an afternoon lunch with a glass of wine or two. I'm talking about kids being left to run amok in car parks and on pavements while parents sit inside and have a drink.
Look after your f**king kids.
People having their kids stay up with them until the wee hours of the morning. By 11pm they are cranky, fussy, and clearly tired.
Put. Your. Kids. To. Bed.
Why would you even do that? It was hard for my parents to put me to bed. Sleep is really important, especially at this young age.
Pushing your kids to bring home flawless reports. Had a friend my sophomore year of highschool (straight A student, extra curricular stuff) with strict parents obviously living vicariously through her- who blew her head off with her dad's shotgun sitting at the kitchen table because it was near finals week, her grades were plummeting and the only boyfriend she's ever had had just broken up with her 3 days prior. I'd like to introduce a new parenting trend; Talking to your kids, listening and understanding.
Ugh, my parents had unrealistic expectations for me like the friend mentioned. I almost took my life plenty of times. I even would contemplate suicide when I didn't make my parents look perfect.
Not knocking “because what if the kid is secretly running a highly illegal business in there” Like please, knock. It will save you and your kids from discomfort.
Illegal business? What, do they think their teenager is running a drug ring from their bedroom?
Taking your kid's side when he's being an a****le to strangers. DO your job and educate your kid so I don't have to punch him in the face.
Publicly shaming your kids. If you do that s**t you are an as****le and a disgusting human being.
*If you do that s**t ON PURPOSE you are an as****le. If your kids do something incredibly stupid (like run in front of a moving car, or something like that) then go for it, they deserve it.
Never listening to your child. The whole children need to be seen and not heard schtick, f**ked up my social skills a whole lot with my parents and people.
Same. I was raised to be compliant and always caring about what other people think. Likely why I feel the need to comment on social media on a daily basis. .... sorry for my constant ramblings.
My aunt and uncle are and have been huge supporters of the "if you just give them a video game then they'll be quiet forever" so my 6-year old cousin has absolutely no social skills and is a difficult, struggling first grader but is alright at playing Angry Birds and Minecraft.
Tossing a phone to a kid any time there is a wait. I get the desire to keep busy while waiting but we don't learn patience without practice
Wanting to be "friends" with their kids. It really pisses me off. Parents that won't challenge, question or correct poor behaviour.
I've got three boys to raise and my attitude has always been - I'm your dad. I'm not your friend. I have friends you have friends. We can be friends when you're old enough to buy me a beer and I've done the sort of parenting that means I want to have a beer with you.
I don't know, my parents were our friends and still disciplined us. There's a middle ground between the two situations described here. I don't like parents like OP.
Non-parenting. That is, when people have kids but let their kids run wild with zero effort put into actually raising them into functional members of society.
Homeschooling. Frequently it just means non-schooling. Either the parent in question does not have the ability to teach, due to lack of education on their own part, has no intention of teaching with it all just falling back into non-parenting, or it's a deliberate attempt by fundies to keep their kids from getting an education. There are few exceptions.
Homeschooling, when done right, is amazing. I was brought up homeschooled and I'm in a much better place academically than I would have been had I grown up in public school. Unschooling is the problem, as well as parents who want to homeschool but don't take responsibility for their children's education.
Infant circumcision. Sorry but unneeded cosmetic surgery performed on non consenting minors is just stupid, useless, and illogical.
My first son (34) is uncircumcised however my second son (16)had to be at 3 due to constant infections and pain. Don’t criticise.
Making your kids a social media account that you run. Children don’t need to be exposed to any of that.
Not having children wear seat belts & better yet, toddlers weren't in car seats!!
Gen X was raised without seatbelts or bike helmets. That's why there aren't as many of us.
'Enriching' every single moment of your kids' lives. THAT is how you get burned out parents. Throw the little buggers outside with two sticks and rock. And make 'em share the rock!
Why not go outside with em and let em find plenty of sticks. You do it with a dog. Why just throw the kids outside? You miss a lot of fun too.
Everyone is mentioning modern trends, helicopter parents are bad but not nearly the worst.
In the '20s psychologist John Watson said to never hug or kiss your kids, he also was the psychologist behind the "Little Albert" experiment
There was a doctor in the 1700s that said women's brains were too puny to successfully raise children, so men should be in charge of it.
How about giving some morphine for teething troubles or Laudanum (10% opium and 90% alcohol) to your kids to cure whatever you want!
In the '60s a pediatrician wrote that night time feedings would turn your baby into a socialist. He also said that you can start your kids on cereal when they're 2 days old, and by 9 weeks old they'd be eating whatever the parents ate.
There were the cages that hung outside windows in London to give kids some fresh air.
This stuff is all in the last century or so (well not the women's brains are too puny for raising children, but I just thought that was funny). We've made huge advances in infant mortality and children's health, let's not lose sight of that.
My mom was told or read from those stupid Dr. Spock books to never tend to a crying baby, pick them up every time because you could somehow "spoil them with love" and that infants like to "cry to trick parents into holding them". I had many, many fights with my mom when my daughter was an infant and I realized why I have always had a bit of resentment and detachment of her. I don't feel much love coming from her.
Assuming your kid processes everything the same way you do -- and correcting their behaviors that are preference-based and not necessarily "wrong.
Or, teaching them "how to be a man" or "how to be a woman". Ugh! How about teaching them to be a decent PERSON?
Not letting them make mistakes. With many people, you can tell them not to do something because ___ all you want, but they will never properly get it until they actually do it and ___ happens. Forbidding your kids from doing anything even remotely risky does more harm than good later on.
With mine, I assess the situation and determine if they are likely to be injured. If the chance of injury is minimal - or if I think they won't get hurt beyond a scrape or bruise - I just let 'em figure it out.
As a former nanny-permissive parenting passed off as gentle parenting. Children need boundaries!
Also I’m a big believer in letting children be bored sometimes; every moment of their day doesn’t need to be structured with activities. Independent play fosters their creativity.
We generally let our son do what he wants in that we don't really structure his free time. If he wants to play with his trains, fine. If he wants to draw on his Boogie Board, great - he is getting really good at drawing trains and Snoopy characters. Now that spring is here, he will be out in the garden running around or in the trampoline.
Making your kid do tons of extracurriculars, we all want our kids to succeed in life but they deserve to have a childhood and do things they want!
Talk to your kids, explain when they didn't something wrong rather than just screaming at them.
I have friends whose kids do travel sports. It is all encompassing, every free moment is spent getting ready for the next trip. The whole family sufferers.
Using cutesy language/ non- proper terms for body parts, things etc...
I worked in the elementary school system for a while and the amount of cutesy code names parents taught their kids for body parts, especially genitalia was alarming. I understand when kids are young they may not know words for common things (and I'm not taking about kids with learning differences) but your 4th grader choosing to call his penis his "wee-wee" and his mom calls to complain that I'm vulgar when I had to ask him to clarify....parent's need to knock that s**t all the way off.
Ask the kid to clarify? Skippy, if you don't know what a "wee-wee" is...
‘Aesthetic’ parenting. I hate when parents have to make their kids nursery’s, playrooms etc all aesthetically pleasing with cohesive beige colour schemes and all wood effect. These are the same parents that’ll dress their kids like tiny adults, in incredibly expensive outfits that look dull as all hell and aren’t suitable for running around or doing kid stuff.
Always coddling your kid and act like they can never do anything wrong.
Obviously you shouldn't go overboard with beeing strict, but as a parent it is your job to guide them and equip them with whatever they need to success in life.
Stranger danger. Taught kids to fear strangers and the man hiding in the bushes. When in reality the danger to kids is usually from the people they know. Uncles, teachers, priests, etc.
I have to disagree on this one. Even as an adult, one guy in a car stopped in front of me at an intersection asking me "where do you live?" and drove off. I got so freaked out I took an extra long way home. My region has a lot of sexual predators, and there's always police warnings whenever they're released from jail but still high risk to reoffend. These are strangers to the victims. I'm not disagreeing that predators are often known to the child, but from experience growing up and from raising my own, I've come to know that there is something to stranger danger and it doesn't hurt to teach kids how to protect themselves and be cautious.
Oversharing personal pictures and information about their kids online/on social media. Your child is entitled to privacy as much as anyone else and posting all these photos and details about them online isn't a wise decision for their confidentiality and safety.
Zero negative reinforcement, and talking out / negotiating every disagreement with the kid. Sometimes the answer is just plain “No.”
I watched my friend spend 15 minutes patiently explaining to her five year old over and over again that she didn’t have any candy for him, and he needed to wait until they got home to where they had candy. None of her explanations satisfied him. He just fake cried harder and harder the more she pleaded with him and explained how sorry she was. I was like why tf are you even saying you’re sorry?? He’s not going to die if he has to wait a few minutes for candy. By the time she finished bargaining with him for 15 min, they could’ve gotten home already. It was so painful.
Not letting your kids walk to and back from school. Somehow "freerange" is a trend. In Europe, at least France, it is the norm as it SHOULD be. Then you don't understand why you get irresponsible obese kids in the US. Let them go outside, let them exercise, let them experience.
Car culture in America makes streets very dangerous for people to navigate a adults, let alone children. Where I live in the US out kids are outside from whenever they wake up until sundown still but cities here aren't like that.
Rewarding your kids for EVERYTHING. I'm all for giving your child something special if they got an A+ or something along those lines, but rewarding your child for everyday tasks such as doing homework and eating without complaining is a horrible idea. These are things they should be doing anyways! If my experience as a nanny has taught me anything it's that this trend only spoils your child.
Edit: I'd just like to clear something up. Let's take me for example. Growing up I didn't get rewarded for doing normal day to day things like reading, practicing my instrument, doing homework, setting up the table, eating my dinner....etc. I don't mean to be arrogant but I was a pretty easy child, rarely did I ever complain about doing these things because they were simply expected of me, just like they were expected of my mother as a child and so on (plus I knew there were consequences if I didn't) I didn't have any friends who got little rewards all the time so to me it was normal.
Now, I've taken care of two sets of kids who I believe were spoiled beyond belief because of this system, unless they get a reward they refuse to do anything that is asked of them, I mean ANYTHING. Meanwhile, a few years back I took care of some kids without this reward system and they were an absolute delight. Never had to repeat myself twice, they did what was asked of them. Forgive me if I'm wrong, it could be like some of you are saying, it depends on the kid. I can assure you though, I won't be following this trend anytime soon.
Over coddling and doing everything for your kids instead of giving them some responsibility and letting them fail or struggle a little bit. I think it’s called “lawnmower parenting” and some parents even do these things with their adult children:
1. Calling the teacher every time your kid gets a low grade
2. Helping with homework too much
3. not giving kids any age-appropriate chores
4. Red-shirting your kids
5. Calling your kids employer on their behalf to call in sick
6. Doing everything for your kids like cleaning their room, doing their laundry, picking up after them, calling to make all their appointments, etc
Sheltering them from music that they don't want them to listen to. like for example, the parent only allows radio Disney. What if the kid who is 8 doesn't like it? That's not fair to the kid to not be allowed to explore and get their own taste. Glad my mom never sheltered
I was at a 3rd grade "dance" once and they played "Gangnam Style". All the kids were just jumping around with cake. It was hilarious.
Gently asking kids to do s**t they have ZERO capacity to do or even understand. Your kid won't move out in front of the store door, and it's not the next customer's fault that they fell down because they were in front of the door. Stop letting your kids run around restaurants like you're renting the f**king place and TEACH THEM TO SIT AND EAT WITH THEIR F**KING FAMILY.
This is situational. If you're at a Chuck E Cheese then you should expect to share your dining experience with a bunch of snot faced kids. But if you're at a restaurant that doesn't include a play ground children shouldn't be there until they're old enough to understand basic table manners.
Indigo kids. Parents believing that their children have super powers because they are acting like brats. Sure, let's not only tell the bratty kids that they are better than everyone, but let's also put them with the other brats. I'm sure this won't end badly.
The absolute f**king venom if someone disagrees with your parenting choices. There's no such thing as a simple disagreement any more.
By the same token though...I may not AGREE with everyone's parenting choices....but unless it's illegal/abusive to the child, it's not really my call.
I hate it when parents let their 6 year old walk their 3 foot tall dog and they can't control it so it goes around licking people everywhere.
Using tracking devices on your kids car or phone. Sorry but that's creepy and only [messes] up their ability to trust anyone.
Yeah there's a difference between invading their privacy and checking up on them because they're not responding or late. As long as it's done respectively then I see no problem with GPS on kids. And some situations may call for checking their phone but as long as you're not doing it just to invade their life without just cause then it can be ok; just cause isn't if they're lying about studying and went to the movies for example
During the harambe mess, a friend of mine told someone that his opinion was irrelevant because he didn't have kids.
Harambe Mess: a 3 yr old fell into Harambe’s (a gorilla) enclosure, and when Harambe started to drag the boy around, Zoo officials had to euthanize the animal. Don’t know what this has to do with not having kids.
I’ve seen videos of parents letting their child’s be free spirits. The child chooses what to eat, when to go to bed, and how much school work to do. One video a child had ice cream for breakfast and was “homeschooled”.
It's okay to give your kid choices but don't give them total free-range like they know what's good for them.
The thing the Kennedys did where they lobotomized their daughter without anesthetic is probably up there.
I work at a childcare facility and the parents with younger kids dose their juice and milk with Miralax. Daily. It’s so freaking weird and it’s NO WONDER they’re having issues pooping. They have no idea what it feels like to naturally do it.
Parents being scared of children. Your kid will be a f**kup if you think you need to be their friend. When I was a boy I was showed tough love, but it gave me skills I needed. Stop letting the kids be in control.
I don't know about tough love, it depends on how far it goes. You can have a good relationship with your kid without being their friend. My mom was never my friend. I'm all for tough love if it is not abusive like beating them (I said beating, not spanking), locking them out of the house, depriving them of things they need, not just want.
That hideous rat tail at the back of toddlers' heads.
You mean a ponytail? When hair gets long enough it's better to have it and have other people call it a hideous rat tail than have long, annoying hair getting in your eyes and face.
The “boy mom” thing. It seems to have started out as a cute meme but now seems to be a cultish parental style rooted in Oedipus complex weirdness that I can’t quite understand and don’t really want to.
My takeaway…. If you have kids, you’re doing it wrong. Sincerely, the internet. Trust me most parents worry enough that we are or have messed up our kids. Parenting is a LOT of trial and error as well as hoping you got the balancing act down enough that your kids will be ok adults.
That's exactly what I was thinking. A lot of people criticising parents up there probably don't have kids yet, and that's why the little empathy and so much judgement.
Load More Replies...Parenting is hard. Really hard. I have been so incredibly fortunate to be able to be a mom (I have one son), but I know I've made lots of mistakes, and I'm still learning. I think if you're open to learning, love them, keep them safe, support them throughout the ups and downs, teach them to be kind and honest...well that goes a long way. I don't know why I'm blathering on here...I need more coffee.
There's nothing so humbling as having an extremely judgemental opinion of parenting and then having reality handed to you when you have one of your own. Or at least it was like that for me lol.
Haha yes! I thought I will be amazing at parenting having like 20+ nieces and nephews around all the time.. now I have 2 and wonder if I will ever know what I'm doing:/
Load More Replies...I get the ones concerning actual safety but elf on a shelf and unique names? Mind your business lol the elf isn’t hurting anyone and biblical names aren’t popular times change. If they didn’t we’d all still be named Ebenezer and Agnes.
Haha just wait until Ebenezer makes a comeback. Ngl I kind of like it.
Load More Replies...The parenting trend that's really horrible is that parents (like everyone else) work such insanely long hours that they don't actually have time to parent, and are too exhausted to parent by the time they do finally see their kids. You can't raise functional human beings that way.
My god posts like this drive me crazy. READ THE ASSIGNMENT. I wonder if these people failed all their tests in school as well. To clarify, the assignment was "What Is The Worst Parenting Trend To Date". Not "name things that bug you about kids". Examples above like "boys will be boys" is NOT a current "trend", it is an age-old mindset, if anything the trend is to STOP putting up with that philosophy. And "kids have no manners these days"?? Really? There are quotes from Socrates saying that close to 2,500 years ago, and every generation since then has complained about "kids these days". Antivaxxers? Yeah, that's a new trend. Helicopter parents? Yeah that's a new trend. But most of these are BS
I know this may be very unpopular, but I think it's disturbing when parents allow or even encourage underage (ie, under 18) kids to get surgery that will permanently alter their appearance in some way. I saw this happen when I worked in the modeling industry often. 14 year olds getting nose jobs or other plastic surgery.
i think a single piercing on each ear is ok after they are old enough because they don't dramatically change their boddies and they can grow over
Load More Replies...Using filters on kids photos when sharing on social media. What is wrong with how your kids look naturally?
Lots of parents don't want to actually parent their children, and shouldn't have been parents in the first place.
Not bringing something to keep your young child entertained. I know you need to repaint the bedroom, but your 2-year-old doesn't want to sit in a buggy quietly while you stare at samples for three hours. Or sit in a restaurant booth doing nothing while you ignore them. My parents always had books, a small toy, some crayons, something to keep me occupied when I was little, or at the very least they would TALK to me, they would engage me so I wasn't bored and pitching a fit.
My parents engaged with us. We were a family. They weren’t a couple with kids along.
Load More Replies...I have one to add to this list. Don't tell your kid to not cry. My mom did this with me ever since I was 4, and wondered why I had such severe anger issues a few years later.
So much this! My dad (wanker) told me "Only babies cry," and I was always punished for being upset or emotional by him and other adults around me. I still can't handle anger properly because I was never taught how to.
Load More Replies...The year our oldest was born we spent the night at my parent's house on Christmas Eve. She was 6 months old and you'll never guess who kept opening the door, locked even, to make sure that her parents knew what they were doing after 6 months. Forty year old parents, mind you. If you guessed my mother you would be correct. She did that s**t all the time while I was growing up and when I came home from college. She was stifling and I was extremely sheltered. You bet your a*s I knock on our daughters' door. I even wait for an answer when I hear giggling and know they're up to something "naughty." They're 5 and 2 so their naughty is still something we can cover with paint or the dolls stay bald.
My mom won't get the covid vax, bothers the c**p out of me. I'm 14 so not much I can do. A past teacher of ours son's dies right after he got the vaccine. Its the vaccine that caused it. He was very young. I'm not sure if I recall correctly but I think it was a heart attack. He could have led an unhealthy lifestyle. She thinks fake since vaccines like the small pox took years. Its 2022 things are more advanced. I haven't talked to her yet about getting the vaccine. Do you think I should? Byw I have several other vaccine just the covid one.
Parents: please don’t invade your kids’ (especially teens’) privacy. It’s seriously detrimental to trust and doesn’t contribute much to the relationship. Unless you’re willing to trade love for personal knowledge, don’t snoop. Just stay out of our stuff. Please.
I think those goodie bags after a birthday could be gone. What are they for anyway? Is it a reward for attending the birthday? Same with why inviting the whole class when the kid is not even friends with all of them? Dont go over the top. Let the kid choose who to invite, the best friends, go bowling, bake the favorite cake, order pizza, kids are usually easy to please when it comes to their special day.
Dear Parents - some girls are just tomboys. Don't freak out and drag us off to a counselor (or doctor, or therapist, or gender program, et...) There is nothing wrong with us - we just like to hunt/fish/play sports/work on cars, et... It's OK. We are not all born to be Disney Princesses.
Astounded that they don't have "bully" on this list. Growing up, my folks made it routine to be my bullies because it was fun for them! Get a boyfriend? A crush? Bad grades? Constant teasing and harassment. Then they wonder why I don't visit them after all these years...
So many of these, non parenting ones, are done by someone I know with her son. I fear for him.
I was a single mom. I raised 4 kids alone that are now 24-31 years old. They are all educated, mature, responsible and functioning adults. My key was balance. Don’t be lazy, it’s hard work and a full time job but also have your own personal boundaries that they know and understand. A healthy fear of your parents is not a bad thing. It’s strong motivation to do the right thing but not so much that it’s abuse. My kids could tell me anything and often told me more than I wanted to know but we have always had healthy relationships. I respect their boundaries and they respect mine. Balance, consistency, say no and let them lose occasionally. It builds strong adults.
I don't even know why I'm here. Don't have kids. Don't want them. Life is so much simpler. Thank you!
Screentime, forcing kids to talk to strangers/people, not believing their kids when they think/know they have any kind of disorder/etc, no privacy, abusive parents, I have a whole lot. I know out of experience
Stop filming everything they do for social media. I don't want to see your child having a poo !!
Also, forcing religion on your kids is a great way to end up with at least one bitter anti-theist adult offspring who make it their life’s mission to let everyone know that you failed as a parent. JS
Most of these were excellent in their comments. A lot of parents today DO NOT PARENT. That is sad that other people have to put up with ill mannered, and sometimes dangerous, children.
How are any of these trends? They span the generations, except maybe the gender reveals
by no means a perfect parent, we try and do our best. Try to teach them to be polite (goes a long way) basics to take care of themselves (cooking, laundry etc) and help when ever I can without doing it for them. So far working out ok :)
Lol. How about keep your nose out of people's business. Parenting is hard. Shut up and stop thinking you're the center of the universe and that you can tell people how to live their lives or how to treat their children. Yes. Some of those are true, without any doubt.. But the rest.. Just mind your own business and stop thinking you're the best parent in the world because you do it differently that the others.
You and your Single kid 24/7/365! Until 1st grade comes around and kid doesn't know what to Do and goes to preschool.
Love to see a bunch of people who feel entitled to parent other people's children act like the kids are being entitled just for being kids. Kids aren't good at listening, kids don't always remember social rules, that doesn't make them bad kids nor does it make their parents bad parents. While it's frustrating to encounter kids doing frustrating things, you aren't entitled to go off on them or treat them badly simply because they're children and you think it your responsibility to teach them some pedantic lesson.
'Gentle' parenting. Stupidest thing I've ever heard. As stupid as not getting your kids vaccinated.
What bothers me is all the people trying to tell me COVID vaccines are good for my baby, don't pierce her ears it's wrong, and don't circumcise my son, are the same people voting for young kids to take hormone blockers and cutting healthy breasts of young girls, like gtfoh 2 tiny holes and no flap of skin to worry about cleaning properly your hole life is way better then never being able to breast feed a future child if you decide to detransition in the future cause parents/teachers/doctors pushed it on you when you were young and couldn't fully comprehend what it truly mean to change genders. God forbid my daughter is anything like me and becomes the biggest tomboy, everyone's going to try to turn her into a boy, for something that's completely normal. Smh this world is going downhill fast. And it's so sad people are stuck on this woke agenda I don't mind the LGBTQ+ but don't shove it down our kids throats prek, kindergarten and up don't need to learn about that. Or remembering pronou
'Gentle parenting', kids need firm discipline, rules and strict boundaries.
My takeaway…. If you have kids, you’re doing it wrong. Sincerely, the internet. Trust me most parents worry enough that we are or have messed up our kids. Parenting is a LOT of trial and error as well as hoping you got the balancing act down enough that your kids will be ok adults.
That's exactly what I was thinking. A lot of people criticising parents up there probably don't have kids yet, and that's why the little empathy and so much judgement.
Load More Replies...Parenting is hard. Really hard. I have been so incredibly fortunate to be able to be a mom (I have one son), but I know I've made lots of mistakes, and I'm still learning. I think if you're open to learning, love them, keep them safe, support them throughout the ups and downs, teach them to be kind and honest...well that goes a long way. I don't know why I'm blathering on here...I need more coffee.
There's nothing so humbling as having an extremely judgemental opinion of parenting and then having reality handed to you when you have one of your own. Or at least it was like that for me lol.
Haha yes! I thought I will be amazing at parenting having like 20+ nieces and nephews around all the time.. now I have 2 and wonder if I will ever know what I'm doing:/
Load More Replies...I get the ones concerning actual safety but elf on a shelf and unique names? Mind your business lol the elf isn’t hurting anyone and biblical names aren’t popular times change. If they didn’t we’d all still be named Ebenezer and Agnes.
Haha just wait until Ebenezer makes a comeback. Ngl I kind of like it.
Load More Replies...The parenting trend that's really horrible is that parents (like everyone else) work such insanely long hours that they don't actually have time to parent, and are too exhausted to parent by the time they do finally see their kids. You can't raise functional human beings that way.
My god posts like this drive me crazy. READ THE ASSIGNMENT. I wonder if these people failed all their tests in school as well. To clarify, the assignment was "What Is The Worst Parenting Trend To Date". Not "name things that bug you about kids". Examples above like "boys will be boys" is NOT a current "trend", it is an age-old mindset, if anything the trend is to STOP putting up with that philosophy. And "kids have no manners these days"?? Really? There are quotes from Socrates saying that close to 2,500 years ago, and every generation since then has complained about "kids these days". Antivaxxers? Yeah, that's a new trend. Helicopter parents? Yeah that's a new trend. But most of these are BS
I know this may be very unpopular, but I think it's disturbing when parents allow or even encourage underage (ie, under 18) kids to get surgery that will permanently alter their appearance in some way. I saw this happen when I worked in the modeling industry often. 14 year olds getting nose jobs or other plastic surgery.
i think a single piercing on each ear is ok after they are old enough because they don't dramatically change their boddies and they can grow over
Load More Replies...Using filters on kids photos when sharing on social media. What is wrong with how your kids look naturally?
Lots of parents don't want to actually parent their children, and shouldn't have been parents in the first place.
Not bringing something to keep your young child entertained. I know you need to repaint the bedroom, but your 2-year-old doesn't want to sit in a buggy quietly while you stare at samples for three hours. Or sit in a restaurant booth doing nothing while you ignore them. My parents always had books, a small toy, some crayons, something to keep me occupied when I was little, or at the very least they would TALK to me, they would engage me so I wasn't bored and pitching a fit.
My parents engaged with us. We were a family. They weren’t a couple with kids along.
Load More Replies...I have one to add to this list. Don't tell your kid to not cry. My mom did this with me ever since I was 4, and wondered why I had such severe anger issues a few years later.
So much this! My dad (wanker) told me "Only babies cry," and I was always punished for being upset or emotional by him and other adults around me. I still can't handle anger properly because I was never taught how to.
Load More Replies...The year our oldest was born we spent the night at my parent's house on Christmas Eve. She was 6 months old and you'll never guess who kept opening the door, locked even, to make sure that her parents knew what they were doing after 6 months. Forty year old parents, mind you. If you guessed my mother you would be correct. She did that s**t all the time while I was growing up and when I came home from college. She was stifling and I was extremely sheltered. You bet your a*s I knock on our daughters' door. I even wait for an answer when I hear giggling and know they're up to something "naughty." They're 5 and 2 so their naughty is still something we can cover with paint or the dolls stay bald.
My mom won't get the covid vax, bothers the c**p out of me. I'm 14 so not much I can do. A past teacher of ours son's dies right after he got the vaccine. Its the vaccine that caused it. He was very young. I'm not sure if I recall correctly but I think it was a heart attack. He could have led an unhealthy lifestyle. She thinks fake since vaccines like the small pox took years. Its 2022 things are more advanced. I haven't talked to her yet about getting the vaccine. Do you think I should? Byw I have several other vaccine just the covid one.
Parents: please don’t invade your kids’ (especially teens’) privacy. It’s seriously detrimental to trust and doesn’t contribute much to the relationship. Unless you’re willing to trade love for personal knowledge, don’t snoop. Just stay out of our stuff. Please.
I think those goodie bags after a birthday could be gone. What are they for anyway? Is it a reward for attending the birthday? Same with why inviting the whole class when the kid is not even friends with all of them? Dont go over the top. Let the kid choose who to invite, the best friends, go bowling, bake the favorite cake, order pizza, kids are usually easy to please when it comes to their special day.
Dear Parents - some girls are just tomboys. Don't freak out and drag us off to a counselor (or doctor, or therapist, or gender program, et...) There is nothing wrong with us - we just like to hunt/fish/play sports/work on cars, et... It's OK. We are not all born to be Disney Princesses.
Astounded that they don't have "bully" on this list. Growing up, my folks made it routine to be my bullies because it was fun for them! Get a boyfriend? A crush? Bad grades? Constant teasing and harassment. Then they wonder why I don't visit them after all these years...
So many of these, non parenting ones, are done by someone I know with her son. I fear for him.
I was a single mom. I raised 4 kids alone that are now 24-31 years old. They are all educated, mature, responsible and functioning adults. My key was balance. Don’t be lazy, it’s hard work and a full time job but also have your own personal boundaries that they know and understand. A healthy fear of your parents is not a bad thing. It’s strong motivation to do the right thing but not so much that it’s abuse. My kids could tell me anything and often told me more than I wanted to know but we have always had healthy relationships. I respect their boundaries and they respect mine. Balance, consistency, say no and let them lose occasionally. It builds strong adults.
I don't even know why I'm here. Don't have kids. Don't want them. Life is so much simpler. Thank you!
Screentime, forcing kids to talk to strangers/people, not believing their kids when they think/know they have any kind of disorder/etc, no privacy, abusive parents, I have a whole lot. I know out of experience
Stop filming everything they do for social media. I don't want to see your child having a poo !!
Also, forcing religion on your kids is a great way to end up with at least one bitter anti-theist adult offspring who make it their life’s mission to let everyone know that you failed as a parent. JS
Most of these were excellent in their comments. A lot of parents today DO NOT PARENT. That is sad that other people have to put up with ill mannered, and sometimes dangerous, children.
How are any of these trends? They span the generations, except maybe the gender reveals
by no means a perfect parent, we try and do our best. Try to teach them to be polite (goes a long way) basics to take care of themselves (cooking, laundry etc) and help when ever I can without doing it for them. So far working out ok :)
Lol. How about keep your nose out of people's business. Parenting is hard. Shut up and stop thinking you're the center of the universe and that you can tell people how to live their lives or how to treat their children. Yes. Some of those are true, without any doubt.. But the rest.. Just mind your own business and stop thinking you're the best parent in the world because you do it differently that the others.
You and your Single kid 24/7/365! Until 1st grade comes around and kid doesn't know what to Do and goes to preschool.
Love to see a bunch of people who feel entitled to parent other people's children act like the kids are being entitled just for being kids. Kids aren't good at listening, kids don't always remember social rules, that doesn't make them bad kids nor does it make their parents bad parents. While it's frustrating to encounter kids doing frustrating things, you aren't entitled to go off on them or treat them badly simply because they're children and you think it your responsibility to teach them some pedantic lesson.
'Gentle' parenting. Stupidest thing I've ever heard. As stupid as not getting your kids vaccinated.
What bothers me is all the people trying to tell me COVID vaccines are good for my baby, don't pierce her ears it's wrong, and don't circumcise my son, are the same people voting for young kids to take hormone blockers and cutting healthy breasts of young girls, like gtfoh 2 tiny holes and no flap of skin to worry about cleaning properly your hole life is way better then never being able to breast feed a future child if you decide to detransition in the future cause parents/teachers/doctors pushed it on you when you were young and couldn't fully comprehend what it truly mean to change genders. God forbid my daughter is anything like me and becomes the biggest tomboy, everyone's going to try to turn her into a boy, for something that's completely normal. Smh this world is going downhill fast. And it's so sad people are stuck on this woke agenda I don't mind the LGBTQ+ but don't shove it down our kids throats prek, kindergarten and up don't need to learn about that. Or remembering pronou
'Gentle parenting', kids need firm discipline, rules and strict boundaries.