“Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no! People can't see me like this. My own mother won't recognize me.” Chances are, nearly all of us have felt like this after a horrendous haircut. Whether by the will of a newbie/hungover/angry hairstylist or by your own clumsy hands at home, you've ended up massacring your hairdo. And now you can't leave home out of shame. (Which is kind of alright what with the global pandemic, lockdowns, and all.)
There's a hilarious subreddit called ‘Just Eff My Crap Up' (paraphrasing their name a bit; can you guess what their real name is?) that collects the most unfortunate, badly done haircuts on the net. Check out some of the best examples of what not to do to your hair below and remember to upvote the pics that made your hair follicles tingle as you scroll down.
Getting a bad haircut is easy enough. But we wanted to learn what it takes to create a great haircut both at home and by the hands of a capable barber, so we reached out to Giuliano Dore, co-founder of 'Get Groomed.' "The main difference between avant-garde and plain bad for a haircut is the focus on details and the whole idea behind the haircut. You would think that haircuts like the bowl cut are never gonna be trendy. Wrong. It’s happening and thanks to extremely talented hairstylists, we see a lot of hipsters rocking a very fashionable bowl. It’s all about pattern, symmetry, and (sometimes) controlled asymmetry. If I see patchy haircuts, holes or broken hairlines, I am gonna assume the worst," he told Bored Panda. Read on for the full interview.
My Soldier Said I Could Post This As Long As I Get Up Votes.. Well I Dont Wanna Disappoint The Kid
I Bet It’s Enchanting To Watch Him Talk
Giuliano also gave Bored Panda some advice about cutting our hair at home. And what with the pandemic still going on, chances are, some of us are going to be making our second attempts at quarantine haircuts soon.
"If you want to cut your own hair at home, go with a safe option. Same-level buzz cuts are a safe choice. Home is not the place for challenging haircuts. For example, attempting a 0 to 2 high skin fade by yourself is not gonna work. Even professional barbers don’t do it themselves. I know this because they book each other on our app," Giuliano explained that simplicity is best when you're working on your hair at home.
"Being able to cut just based on the reflection of a mirror takes a whole new level of 4D chess and not everyone is ready for the challenge. I would also avoid sharp tools like razor blades. It’s absolutely possible to rock a very decent hairline without using razor blades at home. Clippers are your friends."
I Don't Even Have A Joke To Make For These
The co-founder of 'Get Groomed' also opened up about how the pandemic affected their business. For instance, they stopped all of their office-based barbering events back in March 2020. And they haven't restarted them as of yet.
"We saw a surge in home-based bookings since the first UK lockdown. I believe people don’t want to go to crowded barbershop at the moment and it’s very visible in our data. People are also more concerned about hygiene and frequently ask questions about our methodology, if the barber is coming with PPE, etc. We are making sure that our barbers are fully PPE equipped and that they clean their tools between bookings."
I Like Any Haircut That Makes An Ear The Central Area Of Focus
She Blended Them In Well
The 'Just Eff My Crap Up' subreddit has over 751k members and it will be celebrating its 6th birthday on 17 December. Be sure to give them a visit. We hear they're friendly and know a thing or two about artsy and avant-garde hairdos.
The subreddit obviously got their name from a legendary meme that's known as ‘Just Eff My Crap Up,' ‘Just Eff Me Up,' ‘JUST,' as well as ‘The Barber.' The memo's all about botched (or, depending on your point of view, incredibly brave) haircuts and imagined conversations between customers and their barbers.
“Just a bit off the sides?” the barber might ask. “Nah, just eff my crap up,” the customer would supposedly say to get their atrocious hairstyles that mock everything that is fair and beautiful in this world.
I’m Struggling To Find The Words To Describe How Awful This Looks
The Combover To End All Combovers
‘Know Your Meme' explains that the earliest known example of this joke (in a slightly different form) was done by none other than Zach Galifianakis back in 2006 during his comedy special, ‘Zach Galifianakis Live at the Purple Ocean.'
“When you look like I do, it's hard to get a table for one at Chuck E Cheese. I went to my stylist today and she said, ‘What are you looking for?' and I told her, ‘Just give me the Amber Alert,' he joked.
From there, the meme spread in bursts and sprints. In 2012, Miley Cyrus became the butt of rapper Tyler, The Creator's mocking tweet about her new haircut. He joked that Cyrus asked her hairstylist to ‘eff her up real quick.' And in case you were curious, Cyrus insulted Tyler's face in response. The meme solidified its hold in popular culture in 2014 when it spread on Twitter and Reddit. Almost exactly at the same time that the ‘Eff My Crap Up' subreddit was born.