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Alcohol and good decisions famously don’t mix well. But at the very least, their messy relationship tends to produce some truly entertaining stories.
Internet personality Ryan Maxwell has been gathering people’s wildest and worst drunk moments and sharing them with the world. The results range from painfully awkward to laugh-out-loud funny—so much so, you might just feel grateful they didn’t happen to you.
Scroll down for a dose of secondhand chaos, and remember: please drink responsibly.
@ryan.maxwell22 In honour of my BIRTHDAY 🎂 (I’m 33 today hehe), here’s a new series.. let’s go, tell me tell me xoxoxo
♬ original sound - Ryan Maxwell
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#1
Instead of ordering an Uber to go home I signed up to be an Uber driver. I don't even have a license.
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#2
I walked up to the police, asked if they REALLY were man's best friend and once they confirmed asked them to bring me home. They actually did.
#3
I watched the entire Titanic movie on mute and cried because I thought I was deaf.
#4
Called my grandma at midnight to yell/sing happy birthday. Half the bar sang with me. It was not her birthday.
#5
Got drunk at my friend's house and accidentally got into his parents bed with them.
#6
I stole a big hay bale they used for seats outside a bar, then dropped it off on my bosses porch with a note saying "just wanted to say hay"
#7
Went for a wee while at a friend's house, came back down and he said "where you been?" Turns out I'd left the flat, gone upstairs to a different flat, and used their bathroom.
Samantha Tomori:
I can't stop laughing.
OP:
already used his toilet several times that night. I did wonder why there were loads of women's knickers and clothes scattered around my single male friend's bathroom floor
#8
About two days after getting wasted I received a black and white wig, a day later, a black dress, then a polka dot fur coat. Apparently I thought I needed a cruella de vil costume in July
#9
Lost my keys, called a 24hr locksmith at 2am to get into my apartment, and then hooked up with the locksmith.
#10
I found a tire in the parking lot of my apartment complex, I carried it to my neighbors door, knocked, and rolled it in when they opened the door and ran.
#11
I unloaded my dishes from the dishwasher into the refrigerator
#12
i saw a fox on the walk back from the pub and decided to go up to it, i didn't know the fox had pups behind it so it hissed at me and starting chasing after me so at 4am i was full on sprinting away
#13
Ubered myself to my ex's house without permission and he came home from work and I was just in his bed.
#14
Called the cops on myself ... Because I thought I was being kidnapped but it was just my friend driving me home
#15
I thought I was Meredith grey and kept telling everyone about med school (never I been) and people started to think I had schizophrenia.
#16
I got drunk at a friend's house and passed out and on the way back from the bathroom thought I was in my house and proceeded to climb over her husband and got in to bed with them both on their anniversary weekend.
#17
Drunk kissed my toilet seat and called it my only best friend while I was going through a breakup and sent a video of me doing this to him to show I've moved on.
#18
My friend and her boyfriend were doing the nasty and I crawled on the floor in the dark and grabbed his foot.
Bi.Felicia 1 month ago
I wouldn't be surprised if OP ended up with friends boyfriend's foot in their mouth or at least got kicked in the face, from the shock of it all
#19
I traded my phone for a panini. They didn't ask for my phone... Or literally anything in return.. But I insisted. I woke up with an unwrapped panini in my purse the next day. I never took a single bite out of it.
#20
I just moved to an apartment complex and I was trying to unlock my door at 10 pm, the key wasn't working. After about 5 mins, a lady opened the door wondering why I was trying to break in to her apt.
#21
Walked into my neighbors LIVING ROOM (uninvited) to say hi because I noticed that their lights were still on. On a Monday night.
#22
I ordered a patio table & chairs. I was so proud of how cheap it was! When it arrived it was a kids' toy set. My son used it for his Littlest Pet Shop toys.
#23
Walked into a wrong house after a house party and started rooting through their fridge. They caught me eating a block of cheese before they threw me out.
#24
I ate an entire box of chicken wings and then cried and accused my own own reflection of eating them all bc I didn't realise it was me in the mirror (don't ask).
#25
I used to get drunk and swap my neighbor's porch furniture with the other neighbor. Then they got Ring
#27
Tried to run from the cops. They weren't even after me, they were after my dad.
#28
Screamed across the bar at a 50 yr old man calling him an outfit repeater bc I had seen him the weekend before in the same outfit
Doug Moyer 1 month ago
Pretty much everyone is an outfit repeater, just different frequencies...
#29
My drunk friend was MC on a cruise wedding and woke up in the bridal suite in between the couple.
#30
Took an Uber home and started singing the star spangled banner at the top of my lungs while making the driver put it hand over his heart. Then ordered an applause.
#31
After a night out & walking to my car saw a stray cat i went to rescue it, 2 feet away noticed it was a porcupine and raised its quills to attack. Rolled my ankle running away.
#32
Halloween night out called the police to report someone breaking into my house, found out the next day it was me that climbed through my window after losing my keys and had a voicemail to attend.
The station on Monday morning for wasting police time 🤦♂️🤦♂️
Carmen 1 month ago (edited)
One Halloween i dressed as a cop, when I saw actual officers walking around that same night after a few drinks I kept yelling "those are my people! Fellow officers!!" My friends kept trying to shoosh me, but I marched right up to them and introduced myself, told them we were both on the same side of the law, and then sat on the curb and waved goodbye to them.
#33
My friend an I were drunk and trying to see mars through a telescope...we wondered why couldn't see anything then realized the lense cover was still on! Then fell over the chairs of laughter
#34
Locked myself in a bathroom drunk Instagram DM'd an old situationship telling him it was going to be us in the end and he responded saying "no it won't be" and blocked me.
#35
I cried during Magic Mike because the dancing was beautiful.
#36
Jumped out of a moving car because I was being forced to go home.
#38
Dropped a homeless person at ex's place
#39
I let a random man help me put my shoes back on after leaving the bar (i have no idea how they got off) and then he tried to kidnap me and my friend had to save me bc I was letting him
SchadenFreudian Psychology 1 month ago
This is why you shouldn’t go out drinking without friends.
#40
Washed my eyes with vodka to convince my dad it's water.
Bi.Felicia 1 month ago
Ouch! This reminds me of a very drunk night that I had with a woman/couple many years ago, where the girl thought it would be a great idea to pour liquor on her vajayjay. Just before the alcohol actually came in contact with her, my drunk self finally realizes what she's about to do and I tried telling her not to, followed by her yelling it burns, it burns, get it off! She was quite attractive but not the brightest bulb. 🤦♀️
#41
drunk text my housing officer to see if they were on the sesh
#42
I almost missed my own wedding.
#43
I got on the wrong train and as I was getting off grabbed somebody else's hold all and ended up 30 miles away from home with a bag full of jockstraps
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Beak Hookage 1 month ago
Thank goodness I finally stopped drunk-shopping on eBay. I did get a really nice bier tankard out of it, though.
Major Harris 1 month ago
when i was in the navy, went pub crawling with two royal navy sailors in hong kong in 1989 when it was still an english colony. woke up in my own bunk with no idea how or when i got back.
Beak Hookage 1 month ago
Thank goodness I finally stopped drunk-shopping on eBay. I did get a really nice bier tankard out of it, though.
Major Harris 1 month ago
when i was in the navy, went pub crawling with two royal navy sailors in hong kong in 1989 when it was still an english colony. woke up in my own bunk with no idea how or when i got back.
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