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30 Times Dating Profiles Were So Horrible, They Had To Be Shamed Online
Looking for love is probably one of the toughest missions a hooman can set out on, apart from staying in love happily ever after. All jokes aside, the Pew Research data has shown that nearly half of U.S. adults – and a majority of women – say that dating has become harder in the last 10 years.
As if that wasn't enough, the worldwide pandemic and uncertain times we live in have made people reevaluate their dating priorities, as more singletons now read people’s bios on dating apps instead of just swiping based on looks. We all seek lasting connection, and a good dating bio can surely give you at least a distant prospect of it, right?
Well, except that a nice dating bio is not a common occurrence. On the contrary, people who’re in the dating scene keep coming up with introductions that are weird, questionable, arrogant, you name it. Below is a selection of the most eyebrow-raising ones that will make you wonder what on earth they were thinking!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
She's Got A Point Though
Joonscrab 3 years ago
Exactly, why is this a big deal? This doesn't even belong in the list
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Marco Hub-Dub 3 years ago
I’m gay and I love boobs. But I also don’t distinguish between them and belly flab. It’s prefect big spoon body. Still, they’re considered secondary sexual because people sexualize then. People sexualize all parts of the body including the fat on a stomach. It just happens many more people tend to do so with boobs. Maybe if they weren’t forced to be covered 24/7 in public, there’d be less of an overall obsession with them.
Raven Sheridan 3 years ago
Reminds me of this joke. Question: How do you make 2kgs of fat look attractive to a man? Answer: Put a nipple on it!
Matt Ayres 3 years ago
And people aren't bothered about real life dating nowadays....since the global pandemic of covid ..... Nowadays it's all "virtual stuff" aka pretend to be dating.....eg text message relationship ...... facebook messaging relationship .... WhatsApp relationship .... twitter instagram relationship....... video call relationship......get me drift? Nobody comes out to meet you anymore!! Ain't that the truth.
Matt Ayres 3 years ago
Dating is all c**p anyway ....as me and my mum both agree with.....u have to fit into their lifes....fit into their routine fit into their family and friends put up with their bad habits ..... Put up with having meal times at the time when you think "im not ready for anything to eat yet" so it's not really worth it.
To find out what a good online dating profile should sound like to give you real chances of finding your other half out there, as well as what mistakes to avoid in a bio, we spoke with Alex Wong. Wong is a professional copywriter and content strategist who “helps people capture more leads, traffic, and sales by 'hijacking' their prospects' minds with irresistible content.”
Among his many different copywriting services, Wong offers dating writing services for both men and women that he says will double people’s matches and dates. Whether you’re on OKCupid, Tinder, Match.com, POF, Bumble or Hinge, Wong will ghostwrite a compelling dating app profile that helps people get that coveted in-person date.
RELATED:
#2
Part Of The Time-Honored Tradition Of Making A Dating Profile That Demands Everything And Provides Nothing
NsG 3 years ago
Conservative core values *and* be open minded? He wants Schrödinger's girlfriend.
AndThenICommented 3 years ago
It’s a travesty they blocked out his name. There should be a public warning about this mega douche
Jessica Bertram 3 years ago
nah, he blares his warning every time he opens his mouth. men like that cannot help themselves. no worries, he will never get a date.
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Ivana Bašić 3 years ago
No feminist qualities and conservative, but she's paying for the first date? Wonder how many of his own boxes he ticks.
Joe Reaves 3 years ago
Yup obey me and be subservient except when it comes for money when you're paying your way. All the benefits of being s sexist s**t and none of the downsides of having to step up and actually act like the 'head of the household' (beyond being obeyed)
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Brendan Roberts 3 years ago
I just can't understand why he's still single. Come on, ladies! Get him before he's snatched up.
Blackstone 3 years ago
This one of the most insightful and probably accurate comments.
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ᴀʟᴇxᴏᴛʟ_ᴛʜᴇɢʀᴇᴀᴛ 3 years ago
Only one I agree with is “Stop smoking” it’s bad for your health.
Sian Edwards 3 years ago
He does know he can get a life like doll to fit at least some of the specifications? Cos he's never going to get a real woman.
#3
Alright Let’s Calm It Woman
Narwhal Blast 3 years ago
I wouldn't call it romance... but it seems like they watched 50 shades too many times...
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Brendan Roberts 3 years ago
No joke, she might end up with a real bad boy, and face horrific consequences.
Hazel McSweeney 3 years ago
Or she might end up with a serious crim. And be very happy and protected and loved
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Hazel McSweeney 3 years ago
There is nothing wrong with wanting a Daddy Dom... though I'm not into Daddy's myself, just Doms 😉
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Per-Ole Sjuve 3 years ago
Are gangleaders considered Lowkey involved in illegal activities? Sounds like they are pretty much organizing it.
#4
Found On A Dating Site. Why Create A Profile When You Hate Women So Much?
Laura Ketteridge 3 years ago
It's amazing how women's ideas of 'good, kind-hearted men' is so very different from men who label themselves as such!
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Sean Sean 3 years ago
Unfortunately women tend to throw them both into the same lot.
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Andy Acceber 3 years ago
Anyone who aggressively defends how nice/good/altruistic/etc. he is is none of those things.
Alexis minnix 3 years ago (edited)
It’s always the “nice guys” who talk about how nice they are and then get so mad when a girl doesn’t choose them Bc they’re just “so nice”
Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez 3 years ago
So, you're the good kind hearted man, while women ar stupid and/or b*****s...
Wong told us that some of the most common mistakes people make when writing their profile are just being bland and generic. “There is nothing that sets them apart from the thousands of other profiles. It's important to find ways to stand out and present yourself in an interesting way,” he explained.
Another common faux pas is failing to spend time thinking about what you want in a partner or relationship. “Your profile should clearly show what type of person and relationship you are looking for. This helps to attract your ideal prospects and filters out those who are poor matches.”
#5
And Now His Bio Is Blank... Probably Cause He Realised No One Enjoys Seeing This
Wouter 3 years ago
I don't understand how laziness causes a BMI of '24 and below', but I'm pretty sure that's not what the douche bag even means.
BetterBitterButter 3 years ago
What do you have against baggy jeans? Baggy clothes are so comfortable. And no I don't have issues with this one only.
Victoria Pitt 3 years ago
I've been working out for 20 years and workout more than all my female friends. My BMI has never been under 24. I sure as hell aint lazy.
#6
First Time I’ve Personally Come Across One Of These Trash Bios
Michelle M 3 years ago (edited)
This is one toxic person. If only he had gotten medication for his mental health.
Zenozenobee 3 years ago
Well, at least he's showing his true color from the beginning... And he's probably upset no one intrested.
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Vicky Z 3 years ago
A woman that was raped or abused doesn't need this piece of s**t anyway! She already had a hard life
Jon Steensen 3 years ago
[sarcasm on] Yeah because being raped is always a choice... [sarcasm off]. Though being raped can cause all kinds of mental issues since it is most likely a highly traumatic experience, holding it against someone and discarding them because of it, is a really shitty move, that will only make the problems biggers.
Crowsgoin*brrr* 3 years ago (edited)
Truth is terrible but needed my friend edit: I'm saying in a round about way that your right (^_^;)
Load More Replies... ns 3 years ago
so you can't be curvy, but you also can't be flat chested with no a*s, smh 🤦🏻♀️
Allison B 3 years ago
Sounds like he wants a model. And guessing he's fat himself. Hypocrite.
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Amanda Day 3 years ago
I was raped by my grandfather as a child and I can tell you I've met people like this who do not want to have anything to do with me because I've been raped. I've been called damaged and that they are no longer interested. I've got half way through explaining my past to guys (definitely not on first date, I waited until I was comfortable to share) who would put their hand up and say no they don't want to listen and I would quietly watch as any interested in me faded from that point onwards It's lonely as I find it hard to think anyone would ever want me or care to even listen but I would certainly rather be alone than with a guy like this Actually might make a tinder with a bio of "I'm a survivor of CSA and have complex-PTSD please don't contact me if this is an issue for you" It'll certainly weed out the bad ones!
Do_You_Think_I_Give_A_Tortilla 3 years ago
That is so awful and sad. I’m so sorry you had to go through that, humanity can be so entitled 😔
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PurpleDoople 3 years ago
Honestly while I can understand not knowing how to deal with trauma from number seven, I’m pretty sure he says that because he finds them ‘used’ or some c**p. Vile man.
#7
This Guy Is A Literal Content Gold Mine. I Don't Think Any Woman Would Want To Date You Buddy
Adam Chang 3 years ago (edited)
of cause she has to likes a**l...cause you're an perfect a*shole
Ivana Bašić 3 years ago
Looking for an independent woman who will let him make all the decisions. Dude, that's not how she got her own house in the first place.
Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez 3 years ago
I don't know if Barbie is in for the censored point.
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Kimberly 3 years ago
They sell life size dolls dude. Made of silicone I think. Saw it on HBO once.
BusLady 3 years ago
But they wouldn't do his housekeeping and cook for him, and bring home a paycheck, and provide him with a house and a car.
Load More Replies... - 3 years ago
Damn, he didn't specify in what field(s)! Mind you, I don't think Marie Curie is doing much cooking and dancing these days.
Load More Replies... Tuna Fish 3 years ago
WTF Did I just read? Good at cooking, but not fat. Always wears make up but no lip fillers. Always responds to my messages fast but is independent and doesn't need me. Dude this girl only exists in your mind/video games and even then would be the lamest of avatars. The chick you're looking for is named Samantha Stevens and she hasn't existed since 1955.
thEBOrdeSTpaNDA 3 years ago (edited)
Ok well some of this is good (support biden, supports lgbtq+, air freshener)
Jack Holt 3 years ago
Considering he's into feet and a**l I wouldn't think he'd have such a problem with bodily odours
Load More Replies...“Another common issue I see with profiles is poor quality photos. Their photos are blurry, poorly lit, with bad angles, etc. It’s important to include a variety of interesting photos to show prospects who you are and what you have to offer,” Wong explained.
#8
Well That's Interesting
Horatio Jay 3 years ago
Well, this is obviously just someone trying to ironically get all the bad stuff out of the way up front. Nobody's perfect.
Miles Mawyer 3 years ago
The test for that should be one question "Did you realize in the course of this training that we we are scamming you, and teaching you how to scam others?" If you answer "yes" you are certified.
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chaotic_charlie (they/he) 3 years ago
i will prob comment this a lot, but this ain't a red flag, it's a communist revolution
#9
“Women Hate Good Men Like Me”
Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez 3 years ago (edited)
"Hello, I don't have a jail record" is the best introduction ever.
Marla 3 years ago
Hello, they never could make the charges stick. I'm a Sagittarius....
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Kiss Army 3 years ago
He said he didn't have a "BUNCH" of baby mamas... not sure what the technical definition of a bunch is?!? LOL...
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Dawn Marie 3 years ago
COVID BS!!!! Exactly what is your schooling level and is your IQ above Forest Gump's? I'm sorry. I will probably get in trouble for this one, but Heavens man. How many more millions of people have to die before you get it??? If my best friend and 2 of my cousins didn't die of COVID, then pray tell, what was the cause? You seem to be an expert, inform us please. We all want to know. We are eagerly waiting your response.
#10
Can't Imagine How He's Still Single
Loading Screen Tips🇺🇦 3 years ago
I'm already disgusted no need to be married
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DannyGirl 3 years ago (edited)
This dude is 44 .. he wants a woman who has never been married before and has no kids … so he’s evidently looking for woman in their twenties … ew gross ( not woman in their twenties , dudes over forty wanting them lol, and yes I know there are older woman with no kids who have never been married but statistically on dating sites you aren’t finding Many of those options in his age bracket )
Blackstone 3 years ago
That's because if a woman is unmarried in her forties and has no kids, she probably has a good stable career and no time for d***s like this.
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Sandra Charlot 3 years ago
Staying married even if disgused by her husband?
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Sean Stimson 3 years ago (edited)
Yeah cuz we all know Malania Trump cooks, cleans and does all housework. In fact, I remember the photo shoot she did, on her hands and knees scrubbing the Whitehouse floors 🙄
Tuna Fish 3 years ago
What's with all these feminist haters. WTF No women with self esteem need apply.
stacyh 3 years ago
That’s exactly it. They want someone who doesn’t know their worth so they can verbally abuse them and bring them down.
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Your profile is one of the most important aspects when it comes to determining your success online, Wong argues. “Since prospects can’t see you in person, they can only rely on your profile to determine whether you're worth getting to know you better. And you only have a second to do this.”
“Besides your profile, your texting skills, getting matches engaged, setting updates, and filtering poor matches are also critical,” he added.
#11
A Nice Girl On Tinder
Joonscrab 3 years ago
This is a lot tamer than the other posts because it seems to be made for fun? Not sure
blobby_grrl 3 years ago (edited)
yeah, this is pretty harmless. if anyone on that dating app wuz looking for a rl reletionship they probs wouldn't try to date her
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Dagny White 3 years ago
Honestly, this one is not that bad just because she tells us for sure that it was made for fun, and to not expect anything.
Brendan Roberts 3 years ago
And, by a turn of events, she is the one getting the screenshotted.
Tammilee Truitt 3 years ago
Tomorrow when I'm walking through my day Imma look differently at people. Jeez, is this even on the normal scale?
#12
Idk How He’s Never Been On A Date Before. He’s A Total Catch
AndThenICommented 3 years ago
Awwww the racist, incel virgin. My goodness what a catch. In a couple years he’ll be proud of this conservative values too
Alex The Fanperson 3 years ago
Yes, I also see... *checks crystal ball* oh! Sadness and lonlieness
Load More Replies... Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
And he wonders why he's never been on a date. BTW, a Mclaren T is not "casual formal".
Blackstone 3 years ago
Although his Tshirt was the only thing I liked about his post 😂
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Blackstone 3 years ago (edited)
We can just stop at "I'm white". Clearly he sees this as his most important attribute. Hard pass. This is the kind of racist that would even try to make me get rid of my cat because he's black.
Malaki Williams 3 years ago
bevcuase you arent actually a nice guy you are a "nice" guy. you complain about how women dont want you because when you get rejected you become hostile. an actual nice guy would be like my freind damon is patient with women, wants to be their freind and lover, and is always patient
#13
The Choosing Beggars Of Tinder
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
These things are like reading the Nigerian prince e-mails. Are they serious? ....
ChariotLee 3 years ago
It could be fake, because it's so over the top-yet I worked with a girl almost exactly like this. She was a twit.
When it comes to the main features of a good dating profile, Wong said that it should have an engaging, well-written bio/prompts and a good collection of photos. “When writing your profile, spend some time thinking about what you have to offer and what you are looking for in a partner. Think about interesting traits, hobbies, and experiences that you can include in your bio.”
Wong also suggests having at least 4-6 great photos. “Generally, it's best to include a mix of pictures showing different aspects of yourself. Avoid putting photos together that are too similar, and save sunglasses photos for the end. It's also best to use not more than 1 selfie and 1 group photo.”
#14
Just Went On Tinder And Saw This Bio... Well I Am No Cute Girl But Holy, That's A Very Nice Idea Xd
Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez 3 years ago
Good news! They just found a better treatment for cryoaudiovascularmalexia (CAVM). A regular (2-3/days) application of a cricket bat on your family jewls. The cricket bat must generate an impact in the range of 3500-4700N. A good thing is that there are no requirements regarding the person who applies the treatment: men, women, cute, not cute... even cows could do the job. Don't need to say thanks.
LynzCatastrophe 3 years ago
Well, at least they're more interested in giving and not constantly receiving.
#15
I'll Laugh At How You Think Your Opinion Matters
NsG 3 years ago
Gee, I wonder why she's tired of filling out online dating profiles? Could it be because she's a vapid shallow individual who doesn't actually have enough personality to fill a profile?
Display Name 3 years ago
Hmmmm which princess would ya like ta be treated like.....cinderella or snow white
Alex The Fanperson 3 years ago
I stopped reading at "I am a princess and expect to be treated like one"
Philly Bob Squires 3 years ago (edited)
I'd rather date a ham sandwich! LOL At least I'd get to eat it!
#16
I’m On A Dating App With Fake Name And Pictures And I Super Liked You But I Expect You To Talk To Me First!
Marco Hub-Dub 3 years ago
Read the history on the mother/daughter team that created it. It’s as debunked as horoscopes and Vedic astrology, but being the masters of our destiny, it may be the nudge people need to hear to confirm their healthy choices. Who knows? I suppose it can be fun, even if the accuracy is very subjective and based on perspective.
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Jon Steensen 3 years ago
well if you are an extrovert and you are looking for an introvert, why do you expect her to make the initial contact, when you are the one who has the much better set of skills to undertake such tasks?
Tenacious Squirrel 3 years ago
“I don’t have time to message people” “I do make the effort to talk” 🤣
Greg B 3 years ago
There's a new set of alphabet people now??? What the f**k does that even mean?
Anna Lessens 3 years ago
It's a personality type...there are loads to type here. Go to Psych.go
Load More Replies... Andy Acceber 3 years ago
It's a personality test. Bill Gates is a classic INTJ. It means introversion (v. extroversion), intuition (v. sensing), thinking (v. feeling), and judging (v. perceiving). It definitely isn't the most scientific metric, but imo, if it leads someone to realize something about themself, more power to them.
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Alma Muminovic 3 years ago
So no confidence to speak to a woman first, expects her to pursue him? Line up ladies.
Wong also shared a couple of general rules for photos:
- Be sure to smile;
- Include your hobbies and activities;
- Minimal group shots;
- Minimal selfies;
- Minimal sunglasses photos;
- Only photos within the last 2-3 years.
#17
Do You Think His Wife Wrote This?
Random Panda 3 years ago
Sounds like the wife found the profile and wrote this up.
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Brendan Roberts 3 years ago
It seems like he's trying to get caught to instigate a separation from his wife.
#18
When She Puts Her Red Flags Up Immediately
Alex The Fanperson 3 years ago
They could be lesbian or attracted to nonbinary people
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Alex The Fanperson 3 years ago
Possibly lesbian or attracted to nonbinary people
Load More Replies... #19
I'm Not Even Sure What To Say Abt This Bio
Jon Steensen 3 years ago
When everybody around you seem like idiots, and behave "stangely" it is usually time for some selfevaluation. Most people behave kind of rational under the conditions they are given, and if you don't understand why they act like they do, it is normally because there is some important point you are missing.
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
What one thing was consistent in every single scenario? YOU, a*****e. Fix yourself first.
Brendan Roberts 3 years ago
Exactly. He may have f****d up before, but at least he's trying to better himself now.
Load More Replies... Laura Ketteridge 3 years ago
If it's 'every girl', then the writer needs to start looking towards themselves. What are they doing to choose, or attract such women. And is there the possibility that it's their actions that are causing the change in these women?
Having said that, Wong also reminds everyone to remember that online dating takes time. “Although dating apps have made it easier to meet people, it has also increased the level of competition. Anyone can sign up for an account. I think people expect instant results when this isn’t the case,” he said.
Moreover, according to the professional copywriter, “users should constantly be testing and tweaking aspects of their bio, photos, texts, etc. to see what works. You can’t expect to get results if you don’t put in the work.”
#20
Guy Uses Tinder Like He's Ordering A Mail Order Bride
UpQuarkDownQuark 3 years ago
I’m picturing him sitting at a restaurant, eagerly waiting for his date with tailor’s tape and a Brannock foot measuring device on the table.
Zenozenobee 3 years ago
The feet size is weird, right? The rest too, but the feet took me of guard
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Tamra Stiffler 3 years ago
This guy doesn't know his a*****e from his elbow.
Load More Replies... LH25 3 years ago
No sure what he means by "conservative values" followed shortly by "liberal"?
Alma Muminovic 3 years ago
Maybe liberal with their costumes in the bedroom? He’s not the first one to not seem to know what the two mean.
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Amanda Black 3 years ago
He is way off with those sizes. Shocking he doesn't know how women's clothing works. That weight might get you a 4 or a 6.
Cold Contagious 3 years ago
My thoughts exactly. I wondered if it was sizing in a different country, or children's sizes in the US.
Load More Replies... Valentina Lattante 3 years ago
such precise constraints in height and weight always make me think "does he want to date her or kil* her and dispose of the body by putting it in a suitcase?
chaotic_charlie (they/he) 3 years ago
it says he's hindu, and i believe in india gender roles are a lot more severely enforced (any hindu and/or indian people who can tell me if this is wrong or not?) but also, conservative and liberal??? what-
#21
I Feel Bad For Whoever Fran Chooses As His Wife
Kelzbelz79 3 years ago (edited)
Yeah the woman deffo ain't running away cos your wanking in a Bush....pervert!!
Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez 3 years ago
Too alpha, this is the only explanation for such reactions.
Jon Steensen 3 years ago
only "betas" need to call themselves "alpha". Show, don't tell, as lying is waaay to easy.
Load More Replies... Alexis minnix 3 years ago
Yes women are running away from you because your d**k is too big definitely not because you’re masturbating in a public bush like a f*****g weirdo
Zenozenobee 3 years ago
Definitivly the d**k size, what else could it bé?
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#22
Ah The Latest And Greatest From Tinder
Emerald Joanna 3 years ago
I'm sure that many men got erectile dysfunction just reading this...
Display Name 3 years ago
I know da perfect woman, just go home sit on ur bed, fall asleep, and dream of dis unrealistic woman
#23
There's Only One Point Circled By The Op On Twitter, But There's A Lot To Unpack Here
Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez 3 years ago
I can't have the women I would like, so YOU will be OK.
Tamra Stiffler 3 years ago
Well, he was right from the start - he is probably not a good match for any woman.
Thida Yang 3 years ago
A clearly positive and optimistic, good Christian man who's over 6' AND an Apolitical Trump/ Rittenhouse supporter?? Sign me TF up!! 🤦♀️🤦♀️
#24
The Audacity Of The Unattractive Man Who Wrote This In His Bio
Kate Jones 3 years ago
I have a pretty high body count but I buried them myself so I consider that professional.
Puppeteer Saint 3 years ago
Why is it her fault if her female friends are single? Somebody mansplain..
LynzCatastrophe 3 years ago
I'm going to try to mansplain though I'm female: single female friends could demand more "girls night out" times or hang out more often, and possibly be bad influences, trash talking him, ect. That's my best guess anyway
Load More Replies... Vicky Z 3 years ago
It's for him! You read them to help him cause he needs help obviously
Load More Replies... Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez 3 years ago
Oh, s**t! 5/20 (and I gave myself the point for 5'2"-5'8" because I don't want to do conversions right now)
#25
Does Anyone Fit Into This Girl's Insane Bio Requirements?
PurpleDoople 3 years ago
Only white? I know the trump thing tells us she’s racist but come on she makes it so easy to hate her
Tree P 3 years ago
Watch it!!! I absolutely hate blonde jokes! She's probably a dyed blonde, they're usually the dumb ones!
Load More Replies... Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez 3 years ago
What kind of dog you have when you need a firefighter to deal with she?
#26
This Is Tinder, Not Build-A-Bae Workshop
Narwhal Blast 3 years ago
Well, I am everything on that list, except for pineapple on pizza... that's where you ruined it, boy!
Ivana Bašić 3 years ago
And why would a woman who's all that want to give you the time of day?
Michelle M 3 years ago
English teacher - *Takes a screenshot and gives to students as adjectives to learn for the week.*
AndThenICommented 3 years ago
Cheese and awkward, maybe a touch creepy - but not anywhere near the terror of the previous ones I’ve read.
#27
I Had Low Expectations For Fb Dating Already, But Damn
NsG 3 years ago (edited)
Full stops (or periods) and commas. Think about using some. Wait.... Is the Kristy Krab in real life as well, or have i just learned way more about SpongeBob than is good for my childhood?
Potato Panda 3 years ago
Nah Krusty Krab isn't real i think it's just a joke
Load More Replies... chaotic_charlie (they/he) 3 years ago
i think this may be a troll. look at where they said they work
DuchessDegu 3 years ago
Here mate, have some commas ,,,,,,,,,,,,, I'll thrown in a few full stops as well for free .....
#28
This Reads Like A 19th Century Tinder Profile
Glasia van Duivels 3 years ago
He forgot the decimal point. 1.33 is right
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Powerful Katrinka 3 years ago
It's funny. I've known a lot of incredibly intelligent people in my life, and not ONE has boasted about their IQ. Almost feels like there's a connection.
Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez 3 years ago
I seldom date outside my anthr... I seldom date. Well, I never dated. I will keep lowering the bar until anyone with a body temp of 36ºC.
Dani M 3 years ago
Disagree.... He looks exactly like a customer for a lifelike sexdoll! Do they have body temperature?
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The_many-faced_Cod 3 years ago
Alt-right male looking for anarcho-capitalist Atlanto-Mediterranean to hyphenate with.
Warrior Mama 3 years ago
Come on now. You guys don't understand how hard it is to look that tired/smug/confused all at the same time
#29
Dating Site Profile. This Has To Be /S, Right??
Darla Taylor 3 years ago
He lost me on dog mom. Nobody and I mean nobody comes between my dog and I, even if he were a perfect ten.
ItsJess 3 years ago
Same, I told my husband "she was here first" and fortunately he fell in love with both of us
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Stephanie Wittenberg 3 years ago
Don't think I could relate to anyone who hates dogs and cats like this. Of course, based in Oklahoma, he may be into horses.
Space Kitterz 3 years ago
I don’t think this one is thaaat bad. I think he’s just trying to be funny & honest but he seems like the kind of person who likes to hear themselves talk.
Pangolin Pal 3 years ago
What is with these weirdos who post "profiles" on dating websites that are basically "order forms" from a "consumer" looking to purchase a product? This dude says he's clean, smells good and is a welder. Hmm, OK. He then proceeds to post a twelve-bazillion-word checklist that any woman he might deign to date has to live up to. When he opines, at the end of his Paragraph 3, that he's "pretty sure he's eliminated 75% of all single women," he's lowballing that percentage by QUITE a lot!
#30
She Wants A Disney Prince Apparently
#31
Oof
Darla Taylor 3 years ago
Wow, how do you address something insane like this? Bonehead needs to learn that some men are just like sperm donors and have no substance to them.
#32
This Douche
cheezits 3 years ago
Wth, Like why do people like this exist where they think they can talk like this about women and expect a person to go out with them? It's just got me so angry
BusLady 3 years ago
Because some women have extremely poor self esteem, probably from being in abusive relationships. It's really sad.
Load More Replies... Cheshire Cat 3 years ago (edited)
“Shopping for woman” 🤢 just no. Woman aren’t objects to be bought.
#33
He Will Not Settle For Anything Less Than Perfection Ladies! Be Warned!
Kate Jones 3 years ago
lol. But I'm guessing he prefers 'master' since he wants a slave.
Load More Replies... Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez 3 years ago
Available at all times could be incompatible with high income.
Kate Jones 3 years ago
I'm not sure how I'd be available at all times seeing as how i need to make more than 70k a year.
Mama Penguin 3 years ago
And present him with a list of unrealistic criteria like he expects of women. Then immediately tell him to f**k off.
Load More Replies... 
#34
Found On A Bumble Profile. His Provided Full Body Photo Appeared To Be Him Passed Out Drunk On The Floor
TheEndIsNigh 3 years ago
What has happened to us as a society that so many people believe that a "Stepford pornstar" or "deaf, dumb, & blind sugar daddy" is the ideal match?
Mosheh Wolf 3 years ago
Not new, there have always been people like this, but now the internet will preserve their delusional fantasies forever. Remember, though, these are chosen because they are the worst. Most are pretty vanilla and boring.
Load More Replies... #35
I Was Bored And Decided To Use Tinder, Came Across This Delightful Profile. At Least I'm Mildly Entertained Tonight!
#36
Saw This On Tinder
Narwhal Blast 3 years ago
Are you supposed to summon him to talk to him and then you can't send him back?
Cold Contagious 3 years ago
I don't think I'd want to summon him, it was far too painful just to read his bio.
Load More Replies... Powerful Katrinka 3 years ago
Beware of guys who refer to women as "females." Its an early warning symptom of misogyny and all around inceldouchbaggery.
Jon Steensen 3 years ago
... and I have a really large lung capacity so I can say a lot without the need to pause for just a moment to catch my breath but will continue talking in one long stream without giving the listener just a moment to digest what I just said or a chance of injecting some information which might be important. JUST USE SOME PUNCTUATION, for god's sake! Understanding your message without these small helpers makes it really hard work for the reader pick out the information. Furthermore, I, for some reason, get a picture in my head of a really monotone and boring voice, without any rythm, when you do not add these pauses to what you write.
Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez 3 years ago
This app is giving you more troubles than solutions... erase it.
#37
Mhmmm
Mosheh Wolf 3 years ago
Seems like somebody trying to be clever and funny and missing by a large margin. Probably sounded better in her head. I do not think that it is a major red flag.
#38
How Do People Even Get The Urge To Cheat?!
Final score:
14points
Pangolin Pal 3 years ago
OK, don't mind if I do! Mike 29, you suck and it's a shame you're taking up space and oxygen on Planet Earth that could be so much better occupied and used by, say, an endangered Siberian tiger or African elephant. Really hate you, Mike 29, and as you say, you deserve it! Hope that's what you wanted to hear, you pathetic a**hole.
Ryleigh (Submission author) 3 years ago
I READ THE FIRST FEW WORDS AND I LAUGHED SO HARD LMFAO
Load More Replies...
#39
Blunt. Feminist. Liberal
Zwiebel Suppe 3 years ago
Why do people think they attract anyone by listing what kind of people they despise of?
sofacushionfort 3 years ago
“Blunt” = tactless. “Feminist” women should be equal (equal as assholes). “Liberal” I hate the people in power, but I also hold the powerless people in contempt.
Mosheh Wolf 3 years ago
"Feminist" You keep on using that word. I don't think it means what you think it means...
#40
Seems Like A Tinder Beggar
TheEndIsNigh 3 years ago (edited)
Tinder profile, or Burger King 🤴 order? "Uuuuuuuuuuuhhhh.....le'me get one if those 2 piece children."
#41
Glad I Read The Bio!
#42
So Obviously I Should Have Swiped Right?
APL 3 years ago
Aaargh. I realise this is Tinder's fault not the poster's - but I HATE the phrase "undergraduate degree". There's no such f*****g thing! If you have a degree then you are, by definition, a graduate.
Sareaesque 3 years ago
in the UK at least we have undergraduate and postgraduate degrees. undergraduate degrees are entry-level in a specific field and postgraduate degrees are for people who have completed an undergraduate degree or are already experienced in the field.
Load More Replies...
#43
The Good Guy You Need!
Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez 3 years ago
You're not special, must be happy with a looser like me.
#44
What A Keeper
Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez 3 years ago
Oh, girl... it's because a challenge or something?
#45
This Dude
Emerald Joanna 3 years ago
Omg I can't even...😂😂 "My parents taught me to be decent so f**k off!!"
#46
Alright Boys I'm Done With Tinder
Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez 3 years ago
What does that mean? Send me money and I will text you from time to time?
TheEndIsNigh 3 years ago
Pretty much the whole "I want money, but don't want to have to work for it" package.
Load More Replies... Jon Steensen 3 years ago
Here is the deal: "You give me all your money, and I give you no service and no product in return. It's a deal you cannot turn down... Hey why are you leaving?"
#47
Is This A Weird Meme, Or Are These Actually People?
Display Name 3 years ago
Da only sane thing bout dis is da fact she luvs her doggo more than him
My O My 3 years ago
Anybody else read she had a thing for ghetto gangsters and sexual perverts too? Am I just tired??
#48
Do You Think He Ever Wonders Why No One Matches Him?
#49
Found On Tinder
TheEndIsNigh 3 years ago (edited)
Sounds legit and completely non-potentially murder-y in any way👌🏽
#50
Found On Tinder
Jacob Nunez 3 years ago
Honestly what is it with Asian men now?????? They just became popular all of a sudden?????
Load More Replies...
#51
You Might Be Surprised! (Spoiler: You Won’t)
#52
International Niceguy With That Tinder Game
Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez 3 years ago
Maybe a little early to speak about your foot fetish.
otplus 3 years ago
Better early than late, imagine discovering that a few months or years into a relationship
Load More Replies... #53
Tinderbeggar! Lol
#54
Found On Tinder, She Sounds Like A Great Catch!
Kate Jones 3 years ago
what is with these grown a*s women needing to be treated like princesses???
#55
Tinder With Its Usual Shenanigans
#56
So We Have A Tinder Page At School...
Jacob Nunez 3 years ago
Wow apparently ur parents only like people who are ??80% Chinese?? Racist or somethin to other people?????
#57
Just Go Ahead And Put That All Out There
M O'Connell 3 years ago
This just sounds like someone who doesn't want to waste a bunch of their life waiting for the 'right moment' to bring this stuff up.
Mosheh Wolf 3 years ago
Sugar mommy looking for a boy, and is being entirely honest about it. I see nothing wrong with this profile, except for the "White boys".
Zwiebel Suppe 3 years ago
It's not uncommon amongst BDSM folks to say this bluntly what they're looking for.
#58
God Speaketh Through Her
NsG 3 years ago
Oh, are these song lyrics? The bar for these profiles is so low I thought this was genuine!
Load More Replies... Cheshire Cat 3 years ago (edited)
If one of the millionaires these days died, I probably wouldn’t cry to hard either.
#59
What Do Y’all Think
Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez 3 years ago
You have a great background. You will find someone you deserve.
#60
Why Are People Like This
TheEndIsNigh 3 years ago
The only deal-breaker is "basement." Anywhere else is fair game 😆
Load More Replies... 
#61
Found A Real Gem On Tinder
#62
Maybe Take Care Of Your Kid Instead Of Going On Tinder
Pepper Sergent 3 years ago
What is that title? A troll? You can be a mom and be on a dating app. What is this, the 1800s?
#63
I Just Created Bio Based On Inspiration From This Sub. What You Guys Think?
#64
Too Much Info?
Kim Irving 3 years ago
Clitoris, the word is CLITORIS, it is a part of FEMALE anatomy, WHY is this blurred out?!?!
Spork420 3 years ago
Because they've gone off the rails with their asinine censorship. A few weeks back, breast cancer was blurred out.
Load More Replies... #65
Is This The Longest Sentence On Tinder? P.s. You Must Own A House To Proceed
Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez 3 years ago
"I can't pay the bills". It's sad, but at least she offers to create a family and a real couple. She probably just had very bad luck/decisions in the past (her fault or not her fault, it doesn't matter). I think it's legit, and I'm with Sonia.
#66
Of All The Movie Quotes To Use
#68
Didn’t Even Have To Match With Him (Tinder)
Jacob Nunez 3 years ago
….i dont know about this one. Definitely better than some buuuut not better than others
#69
Most Interesting Chemist On Tinder
#70
An Independent Woman
Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez 3 years ago (edited)
Well, this introduction seems nice... or maybe I'm lost in translation. Please correct me.
MadameTwoSwords 3 years ago
No,I think you're right, it's quite a funny joke!
Load More Replies... #71
Uh... Phrasing!
APL 3 years ago
That would be "don't want any more". "Don't want anymore" suggests she is bored of the kid she has.
Load More Replies... Kim Irving 3 years ago
I think she means, she doesn't want to have any more children, and I don't see why this is an issue....
APL 3 years ago
It isn't. And that is doubtless what she meant. But what she *wrote* is that she has a kid that she doesn't want anymore.
Load More Replies... Mosheh Wolf 3 years ago
Looks like a pretty decent profile. Short, informative, and clear. Nothing unreasonable.
#72
This Girl Wants Almost An Entire Baseball Team Of Kids
#74
Nothing Attracts Women More Than A Huge Disclaimer On Your Tinder Profile
#75
Hates Tinder - Is On Tinder
#76
Try Tinder
#77
Um....wow. This Winner Showed Up On My Tinder This Evening...
M O'Connell 3 years ago
I think that's supposed to be two different bullet points.
Load More Replies... #78
Reward For Worst Tinder Bio Of The Year Goes To!
#79
You Have Become The Very Thing You Swore To Destroy
#82
Found On R/Tinder
#83
Tinder Is A Gift That Keeps On Giving
#85
Me Just Before Going Out Cycling!
Final score:
4points
Pangolin Pal 3 years ago
And after all those a**holes, suddenly a nice-looking dude in an impressively weird Eggo T-shirt, with cute crinkly eyelids and a kind, friendly face. Looks like you saved the best for last -- I would TOTALLY date this guy!
Matt Ayres (Submission author) 3 years ago
Why thank you for your appreciation 💗!! 😉👍
Load More Replies... 
#86
You Probably Just Eliminated Like 90% Of The Population, And Other 10% Don't Find You Attractive
Final score:
4points
Thida Yang 3 years ago
STD goes without saying since duh, obviously you would need to have s*x with an actual live person to catch one..
#87
Tinder Surgarless Sugar-Daddy Wanted
Jerry The Joker 3 years ago
I wonder if that ever works. Asking for a friend. Hahahahaha hahahahaha
#88
Using Tinder To Try And Barter Skilled Labor And Toys In Exchange For Their Practice Domming
Mosheh Wolf 3 years ago
Again, seems perfectly OK. Very clear what she wants, and she is willing to exchange her amature skills as a dominatrix for photography and toys. So long as the worth of what she is asking is commensurate with her performance as a dominatrix, it seems perfectly reasonable. It's like dental school where newly graduated dentists work for relatively cheap.
#89
Not Sure If This Is Technically A “Nice Guy,” But Definitely Has The Energy Of One...... Most Times I Hate Tinder
Spikey boi 3 years ago (edited)
I fixed a spelling mistake in this bio, here's the corrected version: "If you back MAGA or the NRA by completely ignoring any facts, go back to the sheep flock"
#90
This 37 Year Old Guy’s Tinder
#91
Wondering If This Tinder Bio Has Ever Worked For Him…
#92
Jonathan, The Choosiest Of Tinder Beggers
NsG 3 years ago
This is almost a copy-paste of an earlier profile. So probably a bot, or a scammer.
Francisco Manuel Teruel Gutiérrez 3 years ago
Jonathan is looking for something serious... and his parents would like to park again in the garage.
Mushroomlover 3 years ago
I don’t think this one is real because there was one exactly like this earlier with a different pic.
#94
How I Feel When People Stand Too Closely
Final score:
1point
Add New Image
What do you think ?
NsG 3 years ago (edited)
When my husband comes home I'm giving him the biggest hug, so he knows how much I appreciate him, and that I have someone in my life who I met organically (not through an app) and that I never have to go through a list like this again, except for entertainment! (My brother and sister in law met online, so it does work, but it took them a very long time)
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
30 years with my hubby, never so glad to be safe from that dating thing...
Load More Replies... Amanda Black 3 years ago
Hear me out the no fat chicks crowd....women come in all sizes. At least you're upfront about what you don't want but there are some lovely women out there who weigh more that 115 pounds. And if you do find a small woman who is to say she won't gain weight? Dress, pregnancy, medication, hormones, life etc can all lead to weight gain. And how much do you weigh dude?
Tigerpacingthecage 3 years ago
To be honest i don't think most of them know what 115 or even 130 looks like on a grown woman. Either they want someone very short or a child.
Load More Replies... Nikki Sevven 3 years ago
I'm not sure which is worse, the overly bitter ones, the entitled and delusional ones, or the painfully desperate ones. Yikes.
Tigerpacingthecage 3 years ago
Wow. Some of these people really ask for the perfect human. Better off with a real doll. And it's absolutely scary how many say "no feminists". That speaks a lot of the world.
APL 3 years ago
They don't even know what feminism is, they just mean "no women smarter than me". Which leaves the field barren.
Load More Replies...
Random Anon 3 years ago
Damn... and I mean DAYUM. On the bright side, at least these people are still looking for a partner and won't be breeding soon. Odds are a few will fall through the cracks and find themselves someone desperate enough to shag them.
Nathaniel 3 years ago
A lot of men deserve to have their peni (plural of penis) lopped off. This is embarrassing to me just how bad other men can and do act.
APL 3 years ago
The plural of "penis" is "penises". Latin has different declensions and they don't all pluralise the same way.
Load More Replies...
Hollyann Hughley 3 years ago
What's wrong with number 32???? Because he rides a bike? I'd date him.
BusLady 3 years ago
Mostly delusional people who will never find their perfect mate because that fantasy doesn't exist. Also a lot of angry "nice guys" who apparently aren't getting any because of their attitude, not because of the "friend zone." They don't want a relationship anyway, they just want sex.
Malaki Williams 3 years ago
i honestly dont get why people have strict rules on who they swipe like: no small boobs, small waste, cat be fat, has to be a 10/10, will do whatver i say. like all i want is a woman that will love me and be there for me i can care less about weight, height, and background
NsG 3 years ago (edited)
When my husband comes home I'm giving him the biggest hug, so he knows how much I appreciate him, and that I have someone in my life who I met organically (not through an app) and that I never have to go through a list like this again, except for entertainment! (My brother and sister in law met online, so it does work, but it took them a very long time)
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
30 years with my hubby, never so glad to be safe from that dating thing...
Load More Replies... Amanda Black 3 years ago
Hear me out the no fat chicks crowd....women come in all sizes. At least you're upfront about what you don't want but there are some lovely women out there who weigh more that 115 pounds. And if you do find a small woman who is to say she won't gain weight? Dress, pregnancy, medication, hormones, life etc can all lead to weight gain. And how much do you weigh dude?
Tigerpacingthecage 3 years ago
To be honest i don't think most of them know what 115 or even 130 looks like on a grown woman. Either they want someone very short or a child.
Load More Replies... Nikki Sevven 3 years ago
I'm not sure which is worse, the overly bitter ones, the entitled and delusional ones, or the painfully desperate ones. Yikes.
Tigerpacingthecage 3 years ago
Wow. Some of these people really ask for the perfect human. Better off with a real doll. And it's absolutely scary how many say "no feminists". That speaks a lot of the world.
APL 3 years ago
They don't even know what feminism is, they just mean "no women smarter than me". Which leaves the field barren.
Load More Replies... Random Anon 3 years ago
Damn... and I mean DAYUM. On the bright side, at least these people are still looking for a partner and won't be breeding soon. Odds are a few will fall through the cracks and find themselves someone desperate enough to shag them.
Nathaniel 3 years ago
A lot of men deserve to have their peni (plural of penis) lopped off. This is embarrassing to me just how bad other men can and do act.
APL 3 years ago
The plural of "penis" is "penises". Latin has different declensions and they don't all pluralise the same way.
Load More Replies... Hollyann Hughley 3 years ago
What's wrong with number 32???? Because he rides a bike? I'd date him.
BusLady 3 years ago
Mostly delusional people who will never find their perfect mate because that fantasy doesn't exist. Also a lot of angry "nice guys" who apparently aren't getting any because of their attitude, not because of the "friend zone." They don't want a relationship anyway, they just want sex.
Malaki Williams 3 years ago
i honestly dont get why people have strict rules on who they swipe like: no small boobs, small waste, cat be fat, has to be a 10/10, will do whatver i say. like all i want is a woman that will love me and be there for me i can care less about weight, height, and background
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