40 Hilariously Unfortunate Names Parents Actually Give Their Children, According To People In This Thread
A person's name is a huge part of their identity. It's what our teachers call us in class, what our partners moan in bed, and, ultimately, what our tombstone will say.
But sometimes it not only describes those who wear it but the ones that came up with it as well, and can say a lot about their creativity. Or the lack of it.
There's a post on Reddit by user Frasepalm that asks the question, "What baby name immediately makes you lose all respect for the parents and why?" As of this article, it has over 13,000 comments, many of which suggest that not everyone should be allowed to fill out their child's birth certificate.
Supposedly pronounced “Honesty” but all I’ll ever see is “Oh Nasty!”
Back when I worked with children, I met a young lass named Younique. I felt sorry for her. She was only 4-5 at the time, and the moment she entered school, she began to hate it because the other children thought that it was silly and wouldn’t play with her. Eventually, the dad of another child said that it was a bad name *to her face.* Seriously. Don’t do things like this to your children. They aren’t pets. They’ll have to deal with the repercussions of your bad naming choices.
So my Wife was giving birth to our first Son and the midwife asked if we’d chosen a name yet. We said yes and told her ‘Seth’. She replied “Oh thank goodness, a normal name! The last woman in here named her child Precious Bunny!”
One time when I was working at a motel, I took a reservation over the phone from a woman for her daughter:
Woman: Her name is Sri Lanka, S R I space L A N K A...
Me: Oh, you mean like the country!
Woman: Whaddaya mean, country?!?
Not so much a specific name, but gross butcherings of names. Ie. Kaightlynne instead of Caitlyn.
One little girl got her name legally changed in court, because her parents named her Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii.
I used to write on cakes, the worst name I ever saw was "Tuba Poo". I asked if it was a nickname, it was not. It's been like 6 years and it still haunts me. Her mother's name was Natalie, why Natalie? Why?
Any name based on a popular TV series or movie. Like, if I see your daughter is named Khaleesi, I think significantly less of you as a person.
I had a set of twins (I'm a teacher) a couple years ago named Heaven and Nevaeh.
I had four kids named Shaun in one class, all spelled differently, none spelled Shaun or Sean.
I had a girl named Jezebel and boys named Jesus and Messiah in one class. (Nothing really wrong with those names, but having all three in one class was odd.) I also had a kid named Ted that year. Not Theodore or Edward, just Ted. I saw his birth certificate, just Ted.
This year, one of the other teachers has a boy named M'Lord. I'm not even making that.
What's getting my goat this year is the random apostrophes. Your child's name is Elayna, a lovely name, IMO, but E'lay'na is ridiculous. I have three girls with random apostrophes in their names, its annoying.
I had a teacher in grade 1/2 whose last name was Dyck (sounds like d**k). Fortunately at that age I didn't think anything of it. Apparently her parents didn't think anything of it either...
Her parents named her Rhoda. Rhoda Dyck. I have to assume they were sadistic assholes.
My cousin named her son named Lincoln, which isn't bad by itself.
At least until she had her daughter, Kennedy. She said she plans on naming her next kid Garfield.
She literally names her kids after the last names of *assassinated presidents.*
Kash. It isn't the worst name in the world but the fact his second name was 'Ransom', made it a whole lot worse.
I was on a little league baseball team with these two brothers named Doer and Achiever.
Talk about pressure to perform, those parents had expectations.
A co-worker has a friend who named her daughters Vengeance and Violence.
A few years ago there was a guy in my area in the news. His first name was Justice. He's doing 100 years for stabbing 3 people.
Chicago, North, True. Just to name a few. I’m no Kardashian hater, but I really can’t stand the names they give their kids.
Strap in and prepare for rough seas!
My mom is a midwife and one day she came home with what she thought was the epitome of dumb names.
These parents had just gotten back from a trip to the states, where they had visited a dock to look at boats, and one of those beautiful boats had an even more beautiful and exotic name, they wanted to name their baby daughter after this boat.
My mom is a saint for not laughing.
I have a nephew named Anfernee, and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact that my sister named him Anfernee.
Someone I know is a nurse in the ER so they've delivered quite a few babies. But one day they said that one set of parents decided to name their kid Ssss. You pronounce Ssss, Forest.
Nevaeh, although I think that has more to do with the fact that every parent I know who has named their baby this is a teenager who thinks they’re “soooo cool” for dropping out of school in 9th grade, who are about as deep as a puddle but think they’re Aristotle or Shakespeare because “it’s heaven spelled backwards since she’s my angel”
Naming your child Bear makes me think you’re a huge twat. Mostly because I’ve met a few gorgeous children called Bear and everyone of the parents were huge twats.
Saw a fun name on the attendance sheet (so this is official) of one of my classes: Daddyboi
The overly matchy names to the point of ridiculousness. My top example is a set of brothers named Romance, Romantic, and Romeo.
Baby. As in the Dirty Dancing lead female. Because nobody in the professional world is going to want their name to be Baby.
I went to high school with a one "Crystal Shanda Lear."
This was back before dumb names were the rage. She would have been named that in, say, 81-82. Poor girl. I don't know that I lost respect for the parents so much as felt bad for her to be saddled with that s**t.
Any form of Aiden (Aidin, Ayden, Aidyn, Ayeden) and/or Ashley (Ashlee, Ashleigh, Ashlie, Ashli, Ash-Lee).
I am a teacher and have had students with all those variations. I actually had 3 Aidens and 4 Ashleys (none of which were spelled normally) in a class of 23 students.
Like come on parents, you aren't being original by making your kid's name ridiculous to spell.
I lose respect for parents who give their kids first names that when added to their given last names become horrible. The parents don't even care that their kid has to live with it. Two real examples I've come across are Richard Sieman (The guy's name is D**k Semen, for f***s sake.) And even worse, Desire Cox.
I knew three sisters names -Autumn-Breeze, Summer-Skye and April-Rain.
Bonus addition one of them had a kid and named it Gidget.
Edit for those wondering: This is in Eastern Canada.
*edit* forgot Sincere
I had a chemistry teacher who was an avid runner. He proudly told us his three children were named Miles, Lane, and Chase. How narcissistic do you have to be to name your children after your hobby?
I was once checking in a customer for service.
And she was very proud of it.
You know the Duggar family (19 Kids and Counting)? One of their daughters named their son Spurgeon. SPURGEON.
Names with uneccessary letters or the rarely-seen, lack of necessary letters:
I once worked for Build-a-Bear Workshop. In one of their new hire training videos there was an employee taking to the camera about who the f**k knows because all I could focus on was her name tag. It said "Om'unique". Like, I'm Unique, except worse. I still have no idea what she was taking about.
I met the adult child of parents who named their daughter Morticia Addams, after the TV Show. I made her show me her driver's license and there was the proof. Her own parents had a different last name.
Prancer and Vixen for babies born during the Christmas season.