While it's easy to think that gender bias against girls and women exists only in classrooms and workplaces ("After all, it's the 21st century!"), in reality, you don't need institutions to find examples of the discrimination they face. It's way more widespread.
Recently, writer, politico, and mom Krista Pacion from Arizona, USA, tweeted about an experience she had with a repairman who started ignoring her the second her husband walked into the room, and it inspired other women to share all the similar situations they've had the displeasure of being in themselves.
The discussion under Pacion's tweet eventually evolved into a thread that serves as the perfect reminder to be the change you want to see. We can all do better, people.
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We managed to get in touch with Pacion, and the writer said she's very happy about the way her tweet was received.
"I tweeted about an ordinary encounter that resonates with women because it is such a relatable situation, and the comments read like a live action women's studies class, with women sharing specific examples of their own encounters across a wide range of fields," Pacion told Bored Panda.
"The follow-up comments range from those of support that build women up to criticism from people who simply don't see or understand the issue. My biggest takeaway is that women want their stories to be heard, and there is a great opportunity to elevate these powerful and real-world stories through other mediums, like an article, a book, or a podcast."
Pacion believes the large number of replies to her original tweet indicates that gender bias is pervasive. "I think the most blatant forms of gender bias I currently see are with my girls (ages 9 and 13) and what they experience at school, from learning 'pink is a girl color and blue is a boy color' to being admonished to 'sit like a lady' to being told girls can't be spies, not even as a Halloween costume."
"There are far more qualified people who can talk about the areas in which women suffer the most sexism, but an area I see it in a lot is in politics, where coverage for women candidates is often more about what they wear and how they look as opposed to their positions," the writer added.
Interestingly, there's a way we can calculate just how different societies treat men and women. Since 2006, the Global Gender Gap Index has been measuring the extent of gender-based gaps among four key dimensions: economic participation and opportunity, educational attainment, health and survival, and political empowerment. Tracking the progress towards closing these gaps over time, it reports benchmarks and provides country rankings that allow for effective comparisons across and within regional peers. According to its 2020 data, there is still a 31.4% gender gap that remains to be closed globally.
Across the four characteristics, on average, the largest gender disparity lies within political empowerment. Despite being the most improved dimension that year, the gap on this subindex has only been closed by 25%, meaning there are still not enough women occupying seats in government across the world.
However, it's important to note that the political empowerment subindex fails to measure the legal rights of women and girls in comparison to those of men, which plays a significant role in determining the extent to which a society is equal.
"Although progress [has been] made in advancing women’s rights, it has been slow and inconsistent, and many sex-discriminatory laws remain entrenched,” Romina Canessa, a human rights lawyer at Equality Now, told Global Citizen. “When governments deny women and girls the same rights as men and boys, this legitimizes discrimination and abuse, and means they have no formal recourse if their rights are violated.”
The economic and labor market gender gap has been closed by 58%. This is due to the fact that, on average, only 55% of women are participating in the global workforce, and their presence in higher-yielding positions is even lower.
Plus, this disparity is exacerbated by the global wage gap, which affects women across all industries and backgrounds, and has remained relatively stagnant throughout the last five years or so. These components highlight the challenges women face to escape poverty and become financially and economically independent.
I've heard from a moving company guy that was loading my furniture that a pretty girl shouldn't be living alone, creepy and scary...
At least 35 of the 153 surveyed countries have closed the education gender gap by 96.1%. However, this number varies across education levels.
Globally, girls are less likely to receive an education due to gender-based discrimination, child marriage, and the burden of fulfilling domestic chores, all of which prevent young girls and teens from attending school.
While more young girls and women are attending primary and secondary school, less than half are going on to attend college.
Although the global gender gap for health care and survival has been closed by 95.7%, millions of women worldwide still do not have equal access to health care, especially reproductive health care.
Jennifer Weiss-Wolf, vice-president for development at the Brennan Center for Justice, thinks that period poverty and menstrual stigma play significant roles in holding society back from achieving gender equality, noting that these barriers can also hold them back from participating in politics, the workforce, and education.
They let someone without a y chromosome work as a car salesman? So enlightened of them. We all know it's all about the y chromosome.
“If menstruation inhibits anybody from any one of those things, it inhibits them from all four, which places it squarely in the heart of what it means to achieve full gender equality,” Weiss-Wolf explained. “If we don’t have policies in place to ensure a safe and open, and accurate discussion around menstruation, treatment of menstruation, in all of these ways, we are leaving off the table a considerable component.”
In order to achieve gender equality and make all of these pictures a thing of the past, countries across the globe must increase the number of women in government, ensure education is accessible to all women and girls, create free or affordable child care so that more women can participate in the labor market, and provide access to safe reproductive health care.
Had that with a gardener. I always did the gardening in the house, it was my project. Once i became too ill to work i decided to hire a person once or twice a year to give a good trim. Our neighbor was a gardener so i asked him if i could hire his services. He barely listened to my requests and insisted in asking permision of my partner, even after I explained him that my partner did not care, that the garden was mine and i was going to pay him with my money. I didnt fire him in the spot because i didnt want trouble with a neighbor but I should have. He ignored all what i said and did a p**s poor job. Obviously i never called him again. What an a*****e.
Across 34 countries surveyed by Pew Research Center, a median of 94% think it is important for women in their country to have the same rights as men, with 74% saying this is very important.
Men, however, tend to be more optimistic than women about prospects for gender equality, with differences of at least 10 percentage points in 10 countries and smaller but significant differences in 11 others. For example, 77% of men in Japan – compared with 58% of women – say it’s likely that women in their country will eventually attain or already have the same rights as men. Nigeria and the Philippines are the only countries surveyed where a larger share of women than men are optimistic about gender equality.
Krista Pacion thinks that it's not enough to simply want a better future for women. We have to work for it too.
"One of my daughters wants to be president of the United States and my other daughter wants to be an astronaut. It's my job to pave the way for them and other girls and women to achieve their goals," she said. "Whether that's by making a joke about a personal experience on Twitter or by teaching them that colors are colors, I'm operating from a position where I know my personal actions impact their future, and there is always room for improvement."
Obvious the kid didn't know the difference between truck weight and carry capacity.
It bothers me that they enforce consensual sex, where both people have to want the sex, but if having a baby isn't consensual, only the man's opinion matters. My body, my choice.
Should’ve sued the vet for not doing due diligence, and essentially killing your dog by ignoring your concerns. And I sure hope your husband back then is your ex-husband now, because it sure sounds like he and the vet are both cut from the same misogynistic a*****e cloth.
I bet that was an older male vet. The majority of us vets are female these days, and would NEVER. These days, any dog/cat vet (can't speak for farm vets) younger than retirement age would be much more likely to to look at you (not the physician) and laugh. At the physician. For the physician's almost always arrogant and incorrect assumption about the diagnosis and about virtually anything vet med. Anyways I hope you found a better vet.
I dont know. My experiences with female vets have always been great. But female doctors are as sexist if not more on average than male ones. Its absurd
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Oh my gosh that is a painful story! I’m so very sorry you lost your sweet girl. My heart hurts for you… That vet AND your husband need to take a step back and check their behavior, it was disgraceful!
This makes me so sad. Similar thing happened to me, but I was only 18 and my mom sent me to take my dog to the vet because she was working. I asked hundreds of questions because I knew something wasn't right with my sweet girl. Got sent home with antibiotics and waved off. I immediately called other vets and found one that took me seriously. My pooch passed away from kidney failure (the vet that we hired in the end was so kind to my dog and to us). We got a call from the old vet about my dog needing her shots and my mom went off on the vet and told her that our dog had died, then she hung up on her.
My vets ( we've had a few) always listen to what I say. We know our pets, we can tell when something is off. If we didn't the vet would have no business at all. The animals aren't going to tell us. Years ago a pediatrician told me to always go with my gut. If I thought something was wrong I should always call.
I was more particular about my vet than my own personal physician. I found an excellent woman, who owned her own clinic, and remained loyal for nearly 30 years.
I hope you fired your husband too, for laughing about your concern about your poor dog.
Please accept my deepest condolences on the loss of your dear Molly 😭🐶💔
Yuk. Women are never believed about this s**t! My wife was sent home from the ER when she had severe abdominal pain. They told her it was in her head. Woke up the next morning looking pregnant, and couldn't breathe. She had a ruptured cyst near a blood vessel, her abdomin was filled with fluid.
You didn't by chance use Roundup on your lawn or garden to control weeds?
I would have (not so) kindly said, "I'M the one who's here now, not him. GTFO of my house."
should have lifted it on your shoulders and turned around 180 degrees and 'accidently' knocked them unconcious if you know what i mean 😉 Edit: Spelling and thanks for the Upvotes!!
Same here. My name in italian is man's name.... I'm not living in Italy, but sometimes, when I'm applying for jobs, I get a response with "Herr". Funny, because my name in german is woman's name. It has to be the job: different chef positions... (and no, no salads or sweets :D)
Similar happened to me. Went with a friend who was looking to buy a truck. She knew exactly what she wanted. I was literally just along for the ride. Salesman kept talking to me. I finally just said they were taking to the wrong person and anyways, I only liked pretty red ones which they didn't have so they lost a real and an imaginary sale and we went to another dealership.
The neighbor is the “farm animal” that’s making the noise here, clearly.
It always amazes me when salespeople and business turn down commissions because of stupid s**t like this. Yo a*****e, that’s your paycheck you’re dicking around with, ya f*****g moron.
why are so many of these posts about care sales? is it coiiiiincidence? (to be sung to the tune of the rainbow connection, but im actually wondering.)
So even if you weren't together he would just ignore someone in line before you? Some people...
When I was active duty and married to a civilian, we went to get our taxes done. They put his name first. I asked why (I made twice as much, I had a stable work history, and he went thru a job a year.) The tax preparer looked at me blankly for a second and said "Because those are the rules." Yeah, no such rules exist.
I (female) used to work on gas drill sites where it was mandatory to wear protective gear. The standard issue steel toe boots were so wide that once when I was climbing stairs one got stuck and it slid off my foot. This was reported as a security incident. They had to buy a pair of shoes special for me after that :-D.
My dad didn't teach me a lot of traditionally guy things, but he did teach me how to change a tire. Several years later, I had a flat. Pulled into the grocery parking lot to change it. Man and son (son went to the daycare where I worked) saw and recognized me. They came over, and the father offered to help. By that time, all I needed was to put on and tighten the lug nuts. I said as much. The man asked his son if he thought mommy could change a tire if she needed to. I think someone was offered tire-changing lessons that evening.
Credit cards, bank accounts, mortgages, anything having to do with finance. Even if they earned more than their husbands. Even if their husbands were gamblers or spendthrifts and money went through their fingers like water. F*****g ridiculous enforced dependency.
So, 11 contractors missed out on a big job. Hope they struggled to pay their bills be abuse of their misogyny.
Again, I still cannot understand a business blowing off good money for something as stupid as sexism. My money is just as good as a man’s.
I have tried that with a washingmashine.... He actually believed i didn't know how to do laundry! And didn't wan't to talk to me. I found the problem. The mashine couldn't handle powder-soap.. problem solwed. I used fluid soap.... Idiot!
Good for you. Kirby’s are good vacuums, but no one wants to buy from a condescending salesman who will insult them at every turn.
I feel this. My dad talked me out of becoming a mechanic when I was a kid (80s) and my college prof talked me out of becoming a geologist (90s). Both of them meant well (and my dad wasn’t a sexist jerk), but both used “there are no female mechanics/geologists” as one of the reasons. My dad didn’t want me to get bullied by male colleagues/mistrusted by male customers. I regret letting them talk me out of my dream jobs. I STILL wish I’d become a mechanic or a geologist.
Makes perfect sense to split responsibilities based on strengths, and share the other stuff you’re both vested in (home decor decisions are something you both have to live with, so are both vested in, and realistically should share those choices).
Good for you! Bet she chewed him several new assholes after you left.
If we give female salespeople all our business, it might make a dent in the pay gap! PLUS, we’ll be treated with respect. Win-Win!
Hope you fired that doctor and found one who listened to you. So many people don’t realize their doctor is working FOR them, so can be FIRED when they don’t do the job we PAY them to do.
I actually had this happen at the University that my husband and I went to. While he was overseas, anything that required his signature came to me instead of the international office where it was supposed to go. When I confronted them on how I was supposed to get his signature and why I should bear the cost, they pulled up MY financial records to tell me of the money I got, surely I could afford to have the papers faxed/express mailed to them. After speaking to the VP of Fin Aid (who I knew on a first name basis,) the manager of the Fin Aid department was told never to contact me again with requests for my husband and that she was to deal exclusively with the rep at the international office. Guess what she did went against Fin Aid policy.
I had one guy try to walk me through the steps of getting my modem back online. I told him I'd already done them. He said he wanted to be sure. I said "Look...my husband spent nearly 10 years in computer repair. He already had me run through the gauntlet. I wouldn't be calling you otherwise." He said in a smart a** tone "Then why isn't he on the phone?" I said "Because he has no patience for condescending idiots." I immediately asked for his supervisor.
The patriarchy needs to have every single one of our pointy toed designer boots rammed so far up its backside, the spike heels get crammed in there as well. And don’t think we’re going to be all that gentle pulling them back out either. We’ll also send it all the bills to replace them too—-which it can then pay with the extra 15% salary it makes.
I'm from Hungary which is not the leader in equal rights, to put it mildly. Lots of men have ancient ideas in their head about women. BUT they still know it's not 1850 so usually you won't meet blatant examples of this sort of thing in a public/professional setting. So I was used to it that if I go to a shop and ask about cars, heavy tools etc., I'd still get an answer, even if I can see in their eyes they think I won't understand. Then I moved to England and I was shocked by how I was treated as a woman. I lived there for years and could never get over it, the millionth time made my blood boil just as much as the first. In a casual setting men would be really polite, treat me like a lady. But I worked in a shop selling technical equipment with two male colleagues. Every day men and women equally would look straight through me and talk to the men. One of them had WAY less knowledge about our products, but still, he was a MAN!
It might also be a mix of sexism and xenophobia. As a migrant I was treated as a useless idiot by many when i lived abroad.
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Back in the 80s my parents were car buying, my Dad is completely out of touch with his financial position, my Mum is the money person, my Dad knows cars, my Mum is right up there with him, if you want to sell the Johnsons a car then you best talk to my Mum. She walked out of numerous dealerships because she got treated like a wallflower, they all addressed my Dad. Eventually they found a dealership that had a sales team who had their heads screwed on, they bought cars from there for another 40 years, my Mum will not deal with narrow minded fools. Ignore her at your cost, she’s well into her seventies now and as feisty and savvŷ as ever. Why would you ignore 50% of your potential customers? That’s gonna kill your business y’know?
Thank you, for posting and your mom for letting 'em know! :-)
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I went to discuss a breast reduction with a male surgeon. I told him I would be happy to go down to a "full B cup", as I have a lot of back, neck, shoulder issues...He chuckled and and said ,"Well your husband might not be too pleased with that,.You have a chat to him and come back to me when you know"..I said "well when he gets his breasts reduced, (p.s he doesn't have mas-boobs) he can decide what he size he wants his.In the mean time ,I'll keep myself busy finding a better surgeon" and walked out.
not sure if this is really the same as other posts, but whatever: i was in 2nd grade and we had a substitute teacher (he was a guy) we were suppose to be writing about our family and friends and sh!t like that. back then my older brother liked baking, sometimes he would make us some butter cookies. anyway I wrote something like:"i like video games my big brother likes baking" later the substitute said that i had switched what me and my older brother liked. so i looked him in the eyes and said "no i didn't, stupid head."
Love the term "stupid head." Might use it next time this nonsense happens to me.
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I had a guy (contractor) who: Came to my house. Saw my uniform "Oh, are you married to a pilot" "Can I talk to your husband." "Where is your husband?" "No, I'll wait for your husband" I explained to him that, A: I'm bisexual and dating a woman B: the pilot was me C: he was being a jackass Then I booted him out of my house.
Doctor to my *husband* a few weeks ago: "What's the problem with her knee? Has she been having mood swings?" I thought I'd have a stroke from rage. My torn-up knee is connected to menopause? WTF?... Also, hello, I'm right here. So I started sing-songing, "Shinbone's connected to the knee bone, knee bone's connected to the thigh bone, knee bone's not connected to my UTERUS!" a d when the (argh, female MD in the case) turned to me, I said I'd aced Anatomy and Physiology, but if she thought patellar tendinits was related to my uterus, she might want to turn in her license to practice. And then I limped out. That, btw, wasn't a mood swing, Dr. Dumba$$. That was me being me! (and I hold an MD, tho' I recently declined to renew the license to rpactice in favor of research again)
I'm so f*****g proud of you. I still regret not getting up and leaving from several of these kinds of infuriating appointments.
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Recently went to a neurologist for a checkup and my husband come along because he could explain the episodes I was having (my memory of them is foggy at best.) This doctoral douche bag proceeds to point each and every question at my husband. Does not even LOOK at me. I began to speak and he interrupts me with a "shh shh" noise and then tells me what I felt was not actually what I felt. Every opinion I tried to state was wrong, he even ROLLED HIS EYES. But what topped it off, was when he looked straight at my husband and told him, "I can tell you what's wrong with her. It's her mood!" I have never in my life been treated so disrespectfully! Needless to say, I didn't stay long or take the medicine he tried to push on me. For those who are saying it's an "American" thing...this man wasn't American. I really don't think that's the issue we should be harping on.
Bingo. Patriarchal attitudes are *everywhere* ---- even in *female* doctors. If you're taught to think that way, that's how you think. Gotta do a good refresh on the medical education system in the world. That said, I hope you're okay?
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I'm a biologist & worked for the State of CA managing wildlife for Animal Control & police. Yrs ago I was called because someone had a bear in their garage - a cub. I arrived & these 2 weightlifter-sized guys were there squealing & running around like little girls. When they saw me, they rolled their eyes. " Don't you have a partner?" they asked. "Nope, no," I said. Opened the garage, found the bear cub, looped her, & pulled her out to put in a crate. One of the guys hyperventilated, stiffened up, & fell over backwards- passed out cold. I crated the cub & took her away to some rehabilitators. Just a classic!
I'm actually impressed that at least one of them didn't try to be all manly and tough and end up with massive injuries.
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I live in Italy and there is still a strong patriarchal mentality here, especially in some areas of the country. But NOBODY would ask a woman to have her husband "sign the papers" or put his name on a car property by default. Its uncanny as I assume these were related to the USA
A survey found roughly half of all in India and Russia find women inferior to men. Globally, it came out to 20%. Add in the need to feel "powerful", and you get a lot of people of 7 billion being utter a-holes based on female/male identity. It's ridiculous. BTW, in Russia, 50% of their population in that survey skewed it up a good bit ---- half of Russians in that survey felt women were inferior to men. It's freaky, but it's how some will never stop thinking, alas.
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I had a bird lice infestation ( pigeons had gotten into the roof space) Pest control dude showed up, I showed him where the man hole was & asked him what it was exactly that he would be doing, he looked @ me & I s**t you not said to me “ Don’t worry your pretty red head about that”. He left after 30 minutes of doing exactly Nothing but smoke cigarettes in my bathroom. The second he was gone I called the pest control company, lodged a formal complaint then when I got the bill I lodged a complaint with the office of fair trading because they tried to charge me $532. For doing Jack s**t. The owners ears were on fire by the time I finished tearing him a New one
About 15 years ago I had to deal with a commercial contractor in another state. He had emailed me with a question on part of the plans and to please call him. I called, he asked for the Project Manager. I told him that was me. Him - "No, not the administrator, the person who drew the plans." Me - "That would be me" Him - "I meant the person who created the plans, not the draftsman" By this time he was obviously getting angry, thinking he's talking with a moron simple drafter. "I need to know what this on the plans means. I need to talk to the architect" Me - "Speaking" Total silence. Me - "When you have your questions organized call me" I quietly hung up. My boss got the client to fire the contractor.
Wow...this thread makes me sooooo angry, especially as I'm a woman in heavy industry. Have had all this and more over the last 27 years, and I thought we were starting to become more evolved ....but no. The patriarchy is alive and well *sigh*
What's worse is, in some parts of the world society is regressing. A storm is building.
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You would think these men would be uncomfortable living under a rock for such a long time!
Despite my pop culture reference of a username here, I am a doctor. My husband is not. The number of people that see "Dr. Glass" and even "Dr. Jan Glass" and assume George is the doctor is pretty consistent. The appropriate collective address for us is "Dr. and Mr. Jan and George Glass," but without fail, we instead get "Dr. and Mrs. George Glass." Even my own family members refuse to address me as "Dr.," but have no problem addressing George with pretend superlatives to, ostensibly, keep me "humble."
Replacing a tire, boyfriend calls for a price, I go to get it done and they try charging me $20 more. I got loud, management stepped in, I got the original price from the phone call. Dude left the property a couple minutes after I walked out of the office. Someone else did the work and got a $20 tip.... apparently the one guy no longer works there.
My employer sent me to take a 2 day Unix training. Went there and was the only woman in class. Well I don't care, was not the first time that happened. BUT when I went to use the bathroom it turned out there was NO "ladies" bathroom! Mind you, this was a learning center with 3 classrooms and an office. They made me use the staff bathroom (the receptionistst were all female).
At least it had a female bathroom for staff! I worked at a utilities depot (electrical linespeople etc) and there was only a men's toilet. All the female staff had to use the disability toilet. And this was Australia in 2018, not a backwards country!
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A major auto repair chain, you know, the one whose touch turns everything to gold. Repairman tried to convince me my car had 2 air conditioning compressors and both needed replacement. Reamed him and said I would report to California's Bureau of Automotive Repair, Complaint Intake Unit. Boy did a manager show up quickly. But I told him the complaint would be filed because who knows how many other people have been cheated by them. No golden touch there anymore. That location shuttered about 8 months later. Never followed up to see if it was because of additional fraudulent repairs.
The salespeople in these stories aren't just crappy people, they're also crappy at sales. I did car sales for a few years in my 20's, and any good salesperson will tell you that women make most purchasing decisions in a relationship, and to always focus the presentation/negotiations on her unless she tells you to deal with her partner.
My wife and I bought a car recently, and we had to take our two young kids with us. I'm terrible at negotiation, and my wife is fantastic at it (she's so ballsy), so she did the talking while I watched the kids. We walked away with a great deal :)
My wife and I were out shopping for a crib for our newborn. She had stopped off to look at something else while I went on to look at the cribs. I had wanted a specific setup, so I decided to ask the sales lady for help. I was talking to the sales lady when my wife joined us, and the sales lady immediately stopped talking to me and started discussing the crib with my wife. Because I was the one who wanted the setup, my wife asked her why she was talking to her, and that she should continue discussing it with me. We were young and hadn't been married a year yet, but that's when I realized my wife would always have my back. Still married to her 20+ years later.
My boiler broke, called out a repair man. The man came and I told him what was wrong, it wasn't actually the boiler but the switch that flicked from hot water to radiators. Apparently I was wrong it must have been a certain part that he didn't have in stock so had to be ordered. Came back 2 days later with the part which shockingly did not fix the issue. I said again what the problem was, no no no it was x part. Waited another 2 days and on his return when said part still didn't fix it I rang the company and told them to send someone else. New man came the next day with the part I told him to bring and after a week with no hot water and heating the issue was finally fixed. I may not know the technical terms for the thingys that are broken but I also aren't daft. He wouldn't listen to me because I am a woman, more fool him
And people say that we are already equal and that we don't need feminism anymore... more equal compared to the past is not equal. Blah.
I have one. It was 1985 and my husband and I had the same GP. I had recently been diagnosed with a debilitating auto-immune condition affecting my digestive tract and liver - and there were serious concerns I would not live more than 4 or 5 years. We were at the dr discussing my getting my tubes tied; we had never wanted more than one child (which we had), the medications to treat my illness made oral contraceptives ineffective, and pregnancy would exacerbate my disease, possibly costing me my life. When I explained why we were there to the dr, he immediately turned to my husband, explaining that surely he didn't want to miss, "...your best years for making children...and you never know, she might get a miracle!" We saw 6 doctors after that, each refusing to provide me with the procedure and each giving the same, 'she might change her mind' rationale. Finally, my husband went back to our primary and told him he wanted a vasectomy. 48 hours later, he had the procedure.
Bought my son a fairly high-powered remote control car, too highly powered as it turns out, since it smashed into a wall and knocked out the alignment. Took it to a model shop - no, not that kind of model ;) - to ask advice. Middle aged bloke behind the counter told me 'you can't really get this fixed, but if you've got a man at home with a screwdriver...' Fella found out what I would do with said screwdriver if I had to come back...
Had some trees cut down at the front of my property. I look out later & see 2 guys taking the wood so I go out to ask them what they’re doing. Oh, does your husband want this? Um, I want it & it’s mine. Asks what I’m going to do with it & mansplains that the wood has to season for a year before burning & they could just help out & take it so I wouldn’t have to carry it, blah, blah. I say again that no, it’s my wood in my yard on my property. Persists to ask what I’m going to do with it (probably to tell me whatever I planned was wrong so they should take the wood). Finally got so fed up that I told them it didn’t matter if I was going to carve wooden sex toys because I had a splinter fetish - I said it’s mine & I meant it so gtfo of my yard. They left, lol
Few weeks ago, first week into my new job, team lunch. A coworker says "in the military, they teach to add some javel in dubious water to drink it". I reply that no, they don't. I explain everything they teach in the military about dubious water (filtering, boiling, adding the little sanitizer pill) but he insists. I reply again "no, they don't. Do you believe they carry a javel bottle everywhere?". He open his mouth again, then my boss says "she was in the military, actually". Mic drop 😂
For 10 years while I was a single parent I used to get my taxes done at H&R Block. I was their customer first, and 10-years of tax returns were filed under my name. The first year after I re-married and went there to get our taxes done they began filing our returns under his name as Head of Household. We no longer use H&R Block.
I took my niece who wanted to dye her hair and barber kept asking her if she's sure and what if her boyfriend doesn't like it... I got her out of there so fast because I was furious. To be clear - this wasn't just a random question. He kept repeating it and she couldn't even understand why he is asking her that. She later started crying cause she thought she did something wrong. Luckily, the owner heard about it, called to apologize, offered some compensation and when we came back forced that employee to apologize.
I manage a restaurant. The owner is female too. She isnt around much so i took over most things. People keep asking for the owner or manager. When i tell them thats me they look confused and say dumb stuff like 'ya no some thats like.. in charge' which i just told them is me. Most of the time they just leave. When i told someone my male coworker is the bartender but that the owner is the woman inside i got told 'geez they can get away with anything these days'. I am usually 'just a waitress makinb some pocket money' or they think im just hired because im the owners daughter or married to the chef. Im neither. Im also really short and people keep talking over my head to my male coworker. Usually he just leaves mid conversation which is cool of him. But dumb that its necessary. Before i got this function i was the chef and when i got compliments for the chef i thanked that and told them that that was me. I got told 'no the real chef'.
Years ago, a coworker's car developed a problem while her husband was out of town. She and her teen age son went to the dealership. The salesman would NOT talk to her , only the son. Salesman would ask the question to the son, he didn't know the answers. She had to tell the son who then tole the salesman. Of course when it came time to pay she signed the check. That was the last time they bought a car from that dealership.
I had the same problem at Magnolia Stereo & Video in Seattle. Went in with my (then) husband, must have been about 1993. I had done the research, knew exactly which model of stereo & speakers I wanted and also knew the exact price. I'm asking the questions and he's answering to my husband. My husband had the good sense to just walk away. I looked at the salesman and told him I was perfectly prepared to spend upwards of $1,000 dollars for that system, my husband didn't show sh*t about stereo equipment and he had just lost a pretty decent commission as I was taking MY business elsewhere. His manager WAS FEMALE and she basically laughed right at him.
The reverse happens too. In the late 1960's my husband came with me to the pediatrician and he was completely ignored.
So I have watched mum fix tractors, agricultural equipment, the machinery for milking cows etcetera. And out of my many sisters, everyone can fix most small jobs on their cars if they feel for it. Last year, one of my sisters parked outside my garage and changed chock absorbers, springs, made a full service and a number of other jobs on her old Nissan. Mainly because I have lots of tools, and the space. A sister-in-law to my twin brother is a highly qualified welder. The idea that women can't do things/understand/whatever is totally false. And it has hurt women - and men - for far too long.
Sheesh I feel fortunate after reading these...this has never happened to me where I live. I lease a new car every three years (my dad retired from General Motors so I get his discount since he passed) and the sales people all but trip over themselves to greet me when I walk in the door. I guess the commission they get from GM must be good. I usually go to my doctors appointments alone as my hubby cannot handle watching me get blood drawn (he nearly passed out last time he went with me) so no issues there either. I guess the men here are used to women being independent?
I was at a campsite once, and the owner was showing me and my other half our pitch, he said do you want some help reversing in there? I'm a lorry driver, and I spend most of my days reversing massive artics into tight spaces, so obviously I felt a little patronised... I then went and reversed my van right into a Boulder
I am male, and I used to be an auto mechanic. I would always ask a couple who was the primary driver of the car, then I would speak to that person on any issues. I don't care if you have boobs or balls, you drive the car all the time so you know what it is doing on a daily basis. I always assume the person paying knows what they want, and I explain it like they are an adult. If they don't understand, I could always tell when they didn't understand, and I would explain it differently. But I never assume the guy was in charge.
A surprising reversal happened to me. I'm female and was hiking with a male friend. A Mennonite woman walked up to me, completely ignoring him, and asked me a question about the trail. She did not make any eye contact with him, not in that inclusive polite way women tend to do, and she directed her question only to me. It was so interesting and such a shock. It made me think of all the ways in which women are overlooked, not greeted, not asked any questions when there's a man beside us.
Even though my country (Russia) is still behind in many ways, such situations are quite rare here. Men and women may not have 100% equal pay or job opportunities, but s**t of this scale is unthinkable. Women are capable, intelligent and educated, and few would assume otherwise just because she's not a man.
I booked and paid for a hotel room in Dubai for me and my (now ex) boyfriend. My name was on all the booking and payment information but neither the male receptionist nor the luggage carrier would make eye contact with me and only spoke to my boyfriend - including to ask for a tip.
In South Africa, to create jobs and for security, there are guys who guard your car in parking lots of malls etc. Even though I drive in there and get out my car, they invariably greet my husband who got out the passenger seat. They will also ask him for the tip when we leave - and I get into the driver's seat.
Here's the funny thing: I sold kitchens and bathrooms. I very quickly learned to talk with the wife while the husband was browsing the selection. Come to an understanding with her about what they're looking for, and what SHE wanted. Maybe we might look at a couple in a couple different price ranges. Then the husband would come over to talk to me, I'd point out what the wife and I had picked out together. I wouldn't keep it a secret if he asked or trick him into thinking it WASN'T his wife's pick, but I wouldn't present it as "here's what your wife wants." Rarely I'd show him a different one in a different price range depending on how he reacted, but invariably, he'd buy what the wife and I picked out together. The wife would always be like, "Oh, I like that one!" I don't think I EVER sold a kitchen or bath that wasn't the wife's pick. EVER, or failed to sell one that the wife really liked. UPDATE: To be clear, I NEVER treated the wife like she couldn't make the decision on her own. That's what was funny about it; usually it was their way of feeling like they both had their input.
Often when we're out for dinner, golfing, shopping, etc. they always gave the tab/invoice to my partner. It's annoying AF, "hello us women can afford things and spoil our male partner too!"
I was going to meet my husband at a car dealership after work to look at a car he was interested in. I knew I would get there first so asked my husband to give me all the facts about the car. I show up, indicated what car we would be looking at and the salesman actually showed me the visor mirror and "how much room is in the trunk for all my packages when I am out shopping". I didn't let my husband get out of the car, told the salesman we were no longer interested and left. Another time I was looking for a pick up. We arrived at the dealership and my husband went into the bathroom. While I am waiting for him a salesman came up and asked what kind of truck my husband was looking for. I told him I didn't know since I was the one buying the truck. When we went to walk out to the lot I was in the middle of them and the sales person kept moving my way until he pushed me out and I was walking behind them. Got to the showroom told him he was an a*s and we left.
Working my dream retirement job at our local Hardware store after 30 yrs in the fire service. My singular answer to males asking "Is there a guy who can help me?" is DON'T HATE ME CAUSE I WEAR 'MY SET' HIGH! Shuts them down every time!
for some reason, when we had cable, it was in my husband's name. whenever they would call to upsell him something, he would say, "my wife deals with all that, you'll need to ask her". they'd talk to me and then say they needed the account holder's permission to change services. he JUST told you to talk to me. i'd be like, "well he's left the house now, too bad." and hang up.
I used to take my dad with me when I was car shopping, because it weeded out the assholes much faster. My dad knew absolutely nothing about cars. I mean, less than nothing. He once put antifreeze in the crank case. After that, my mom told him to do nothing except drive the car. 9 times out of 10, the salesman would only address him and ignore me.
Whenever we skied with random kids at a resort, through classes or whatever, the boys always got massively pissed to learn I'm a girl under the hat and goggles. Like they were disappointed it wasn't another boy who was the better skier and funnier kid. Gotta say, though, that sh neeeever got old. "Wait, yer uh gerrrl?!" Yep. But seriously, your little tiny skis are so adorable. Maybe one day your mommy and daddy will let you go fast, too. Conveniently, "suck it" is one of those phrases that carries when you shout it as you ski by. They can hear it coming and going. So can everyone else.
The whole car dealership happened to me so many times. Finally, at one dealership another woman was waiting to be approached by a salesman, but it never happened. After over 30 minutes she hissed "What do I have to do to buy a car here? Walz onto the lot with a bag full of money?" Sadly not even that helped and she left.
Seems to be an American thing (again). You guys are living in the 1950s, in more ways than one.
So you've witnessed this but still think these are made up?
Load More Replies... I'm from Hungary which is not the leader in equal rights, to put it mildly. Lots of men have ancient ideas in their head about women. BUT they still know it's not 1850 so usually you won't meet blatant examples of this sort of thing in a public/professional setting. So I was used to it that if I go to a shop and ask about cars, heavy tools etc., I'd still get an answer, even if I can see in their eyes they think I won't understand. Then I moved to England and I was shocked by how I was treated as a woman. I lived there for years and could never get over it, the millionth time made my blood boil just as much as the first. In a casual setting men would be really polite, treat me like a lady. But I worked in a shop selling technical equipment with two male colleagues. Every day men and women equally would look straight through me and talk to the men. One of them had WAY less knowledge about our products, but still, he was a MAN!
It might also be a mix of sexism and xenophobia. As a migrant I was treated as a useless idiot by many when i lived abroad.
Load More Replies... Back in the 80s my parents were car buying, my Dad is completely out of touch with his financial position, my Mum is the money person, my Dad knows cars, my Mum is right up there with him, if you want to sell the Johnsons a car then you best talk to my Mum. She walked out of numerous dealerships because she got treated like a wallflower, they all addressed my Dad. Eventually they found a dealership that had a sales team who had their heads screwed on, they bought cars from there for another 40 years, my Mum will not deal with narrow minded fools. Ignore her at your cost, she’s well into her seventies now and as feisty and savvŷ as ever. Why would you ignore 50% of your potential customers? That’s gonna kill your business y’know?
Thank you, for posting and your mom for letting 'em know! :-)
Load More Replies... I went to discuss a breast reduction with a male surgeon. I told him I would be happy to go down to a "full B cup", as I have a lot of back, neck, shoulder issues...He chuckled and and said ,"Well your husband might not be too pleased with that,.You have a chat to him and come back to me when you know"..I said "well when he gets his breasts reduced, (p.s he doesn't have mas-boobs) he can decide what he size he wants his.In the mean time ,I'll keep myself busy finding a better surgeon" and walked out.
not sure if this is really the same as other posts, but whatever: i was in 2nd grade and we had a substitute teacher (he was a guy) we were suppose to be writing about our family and friends and sh!t like that. back then my older brother liked baking, sometimes he would make us some butter cookies. anyway I wrote something like:"i like video games my big brother likes baking" later the substitute said that i had switched what me and my older brother liked. so i looked him in the eyes and said "no i didn't, stupid head."
Love the term "stupid head." Might use it next time this nonsense happens to me.
Load More Replies... I had a guy (contractor) who: Came to my house. Saw my uniform "Oh, are you married to a pilot" "Can I talk to your husband." "Where is your husband?" "No, I'll wait for your husband" I explained to him that, A: I'm bisexual and dating a woman B: the pilot was me C: he was being a jackass Then I booted him out of my house.
Doctor to my *husband* a few weeks ago: "What's the problem with her knee? Has she been having mood swings?" I thought I'd have a stroke from rage. My torn-up knee is connected to menopause? WTF?... Also, hello, I'm right here. So I started sing-songing, "Shinbone's connected to the knee bone, knee bone's connected to the thigh bone, knee bone's not connected to my UTERUS!" a d when the (argh, female MD in the case) turned to me, I said I'd aced Anatomy and Physiology, but if she thought patellar tendinits was related to my uterus, she might want to turn in her license to practice. And then I limped out. That, btw, wasn't a mood swing, Dr. Dumba$$. That was me being me! (and I hold an MD, tho' I recently declined to renew the license to rpactice in favor of research again)
I'm so f*****g proud of you. I still regret not getting up and leaving from several of these kinds of infuriating appointments.
Load More Replies... Recently went to a neurologist for a checkup and my husband come along because he could explain the episodes I was having (my memory of them is foggy at best.) This doctoral douche bag proceeds to point each and every question at my husband. Does not even LOOK at me. I began to speak and he interrupts me with a "shh shh" noise and then tells me what I felt was not actually what I felt. Every opinion I tried to state was wrong, he even ROLLED HIS EYES. But what topped it off, was when he looked straight at my husband and told him, "I can tell you what's wrong with her. It's her mood!" I have never in my life been treated so disrespectfully! Needless to say, I didn't stay long or take the medicine he tried to push on me. For those who are saying it's an "American" thing...this man wasn't American. I really don't think that's the issue we should be harping on.
Bingo. Patriarchal attitudes are *everywhere* ---- even in *female* doctors. If you're taught to think that way, that's how you think. Gotta do a good refresh on the medical education system in the world. That said, I hope you're okay?
Load More Replies... I'm a biologist & worked for the State of CA managing wildlife for Animal Control & police. Yrs ago I was called because someone had a bear in their garage - a cub. I arrived & these 2 weightlifter-sized guys were there squealing & running around like little girls. When they saw me, they rolled their eyes. " Don't you have a partner?" they asked. "Nope, no," I said. Opened the garage, found the bear cub, looped her, & pulled her out to put in a crate. One of the guys hyperventilated, stiffened up, & fell over backwards- passed out cold. I crated the cub & took her away to some rehabilitators. Just a classic!
I'm actually impressed that at least one of them didn't try to be all manly and tough and end up with massive injuries.
Load More Replies... I live in Italy and there is still a strong patriarchal mentality here, especially in some areas of the country. But NOBODY would ask a woman to have her husband "sign the papers" or put his name on a car property by default. Its uncanny as I assume these were related to the USA
A survey found roughly half of all in India and Russia find women inferior to men. Globally, it came out to 20%. Add in the need to feel "powerful", and you get a lot of people of 7 billion being utter a-holes based on female/male identity. It's ridiculous. BTW, in Russia, 50% of their population in that survey skewed it up a good bit ---- half of Russians in that survey felt women were inferior to men. It's freaky, but it's how some will never stop thinking, alas.
Load More Replies... I had a bird lice infestation ( pigeons had gotten into the roof space) Pest control dude showed up, I showed him where the man hole was & asked him what it was exactly that he would be doing, he looked @ me & I s**t you not said to me “ Don’t worry your pretty red head about that”. He left after 30 minutes of doing exactly Nothing but smoke cigarettes in my bathroom. The second he was gone I called the pest control company, lodged a formal complaint then when I got the bill I lodged a complaint with the office of fair trading because they tried to charge me $532. For doing Jack s**t. The owners ears were on fire by the time I finished tearing him a New one
About 15 years ago I had to deal with a commercial contractor in another state. He had emailed me with a question on part of the plans and to please call him. I called, he asked for the Project Manager. I told him that was me. Him - "No, not the administrator, the person who drew the plans." Me - "That would be me" Him - "I meant the person who created the plans, not the draftsman" By this time he was obviously getting angry, thinking he's talking with a moron simple drafter. "I need to know what this on the plans means. I need to talk to the architect" Me - "Speaking" Total silence. Me - "When you have your questions organized call me" I quietly hung up. My boss got the client to fire the contractor.
Wow...this thread makes me sooooo angry, especially as I'm a woman in heavy industry. Have had all this and more over the last 27 years, and I thought we were starting to become more evolved ....but no. The patriarchy is alive and well *sigh*
What's worse is, in some parts of the world society is regressing. A storm is building.
Load More Replies... You would think these men would be uncomfortable living under a rock for such a long time!
Despite my pop culture reference of a username here, I am a doctor. My husband is not. The number of people that see "Dr. Glass" and even "Dr. Jan Glass" and assume George is the doctor is pretty consistent. The appropriate collective address for us is "Dr. and Mr. Jan and George Glass," but without fail, we instead get "Dr. and Mrs. George Glass." Even my own family members refuse to address me as "Dr.," but have no problem addressing George with pretend superlatives to, ostensibly, keep me "humble."
Replacing a tire, boyfriend calls for a price, I go to get it done and they try charging me $20 more. I got loud, management stepped in, I got the original price from the phone call. Dude left the property a couple minutes after I walked out of the office. Someone else did the work and got a $20 tip.... apparently the one guy no longer works there.
My employer sent me to take a 2 day Unix training. Went there and was the only woman in class. Well I don't care, was not the first time that happened. BUT when I went to use the bathroom it turned out there was NO "ladies" bathroom! Mind you, this was a learning center with 3 classrooms and an office. They made me use the staff bathroom (the receptionistst were all female).
At least it had a female bathroom for staff! I worked at a utilities depot (electrical linespeople etc) and there was only a men's toilet. All the female staff had to use the disability toilet. And this was Australia in 2018, not a backwards country!
Load More Replies... A major auto repair chain, you know, the one whose touch turns everything to gold. Repairman tried to convince me my car had 2 air conditioning compressors and both needed replacement. Reamed him and said I would report to California's Bureau of Automotive Repair, Complaint Intake Unit. Boy did a manager show up quickly. But I told him the complaint would be filed because who knows how many other people have been cheated by them. No golden touch there anymore. That location shuttered about 8 months later. Never followed up to see if it was because of additional fraudulent repairs.
The salespeople in these stories aren't just crappy people, they're also crappy at sales. I did car sales for a few years in my 20's, and any good salesperson will tell you that women make most purchasing decisions in a relationship, and to always focus the presentation/negotiations on her unless she tells you to deal with her partner.
My wife and I bought a car recently, and we had to take our two young kids with us. I'm terrible at negotiation, and my wife is fantastic at it (she's so ballsy), so she did the talking while I watched the kids. We walked away with a great deal :)
My wife and I were out shopping for a crib for our newborn. She had stopped off to look at something else while I went on to look at the cribs. I had wanted a specific setup, so I decided to ask the sales lady for help. I was talking to the sales lady when my wife joined us, and the sales lady immediately stopped talking to me and started discussing the crib with my wife. Because I was the one who wanted the setup, my wife asked her why she was talking to her, and that she should continue discussing it with me. We were young and hadn't been married a year yet, but that's when I realized my wife would always have my back. Still married to her 20+ years later.
My boiler broke, called out a repair man. The man came and I told him what was wrong, it wasn't actually the boiler but the switch that flicked from hot water to radiators. Apparently I was wrong it must have been a certain part that he didn't have in stock so had to be ordered. Came back 2 days later with the part which shockingly did not fix the issue. I said again what the problem was, no no no it was x part. Waited another 2 days and on his return when said part still didn't fix it I rang the company and told them to send someone else. New man came the next day with the part I told him to bring and after a week with no hot water and heating the issue was finally fixed. I may not know the technical terms for the thingys that are broken but I also aren't daft. He wouldn't listen to me because I am a woman, more fool him
And people say that we are already equal and that we don't need feminism anymore... more equal compared to the past is not equal. Blah.
I have one. It was 1985 and my husband and I had the same GP. I had recently been diagnosed with a debilitating auto-immune condition affecting my digestive tract and liver - and there were serious concerns I would not live more than 4 or 5 years. We were at the dr discussing my getting my tubes tied; we had never wanted more than one child (which we had), the medications to treat my illness made oral contraceptives ineffective, and pregnancy would exacerbate my disease, possibly costing me my life. When I explained why we were there to the dr, he immediately turned to my husband, explaining that surely he didn't want to miss, "...your best years for making children...and you never know, she might get a miracle!" We saw 6 doctors after that, each refusing to provide me with the procedure and each giving the same, 'she might change her mind' rationale. Finally, my husband went back to our primary and told him he wanted a vasectomy. 48 hours later, he had the procedure.
Bought my son a fairly high-powered remote control car, too highly powered as it turns out, since it smashed into a wall and knocked out the alignment. Took it to a model shop - no, not that kind of model ;) - to ask advice. Middle aged bloke behind the counter told me 'you can't really get this fixed, but if you've got a man at home with a screwdriver...' Fella found out what I would do with said screwdriver if I had to come back...
Had some trees cut down at the front of my property. I look out later & see 2 guys taking the wood so I go out to ask them what they’re doing. Oh, does your husband want this? Um, I want it & it’s mine. Asks what I’m going to do with it & mansplains that the wood has to season for a year before burning & they could just help out & take it so I wouldn’t have to carry it, blah, blah. I say again that no, it’s my wood in my yard on my property. Persists to ask what I’m going to do with it (probably to tell me whatever I planned was wrong so they should take the wood). Finally got so fed up that I told them it didn’t matter if I was going to carve wooden sex toys because I had a splinter fetish - I said it’s mine & I meant it so gtfo of my yard. They left, lol
Few weeks ago, first week into my new job, team lunch. A coworker says "in the military, they teach to add some javel in dubious water to drink it". I reply that no, they don't. I explain everything they teach in the military about dubious water (filtering, boiling, adding the little sanitizer pill) but he insists. I reply again "no, they don't. Do you believe they carry a javel bottle everywhere?". He open his mouth again, then my boss says "she was in the military, actually". Mic drop 😂
For 10 years while I was a single parent I used to get my taxes done at H&R Block. I was their customer first, and 10-years of tax returns were filed under my name. The first year after I re-married and went there to get our taxes done they began filing our returns under his name as Head of Household. We no longer use H&R Block.
I took my niece who wanted to dye her hair and barber kept asking her if she's sure and what if her boyfriend doesn't like it... I got her out of there so fast because I was furious. To be clear - this wasn't just a random question. He kept repeating it and she couldn't even understand why he is asking her that. She later started crying cause she thought she did something wrong. Luckily, the owner heard about it, called to apologize, offered some compensation and when we came back forced that employee to apologize.
I manage a restaurant. The owner is female too. She isnt around much so i took over most things. People keep asking for the owner or manager. When i tell them thats me they look confused and say dumb stuff like 'ya no some thats like.. in charge' which i just told them is me. Most of the time they just leave. When i told someone my male coworker is the bartender but that the owner is the woman inside i got told 'geez they can get away with anything these days'. I am usually 'just a waitress makinb some pocket money' or they think im just hired because im the owners daughter or married to the chef. Im neither. Im also really short and people keep talking over my head to my male coworker. Usually he just leaves mid conversation which is cool of him. But dumb that its necessary. Before i got this function i was the chef and when i got compliments for the chef i thanked that and told them that that was me. I got told 'no the real chef'.
Years ago, a coworker's car developed a problem while her husband was out of town. She and her teen age son went to the dealership. The salesman would NOT talk to her , only the son. Salesman would ask the question to the son, he didn't know the answers. She had to tell the son who then tole the salesman. Of course when it came time to pay she signed the check. That was the last time they bought a car from that dealership.
I had the same problem at Magnolia Stereo & Video in Seattle. Went in with my (then) husband, must have been about 1993. I had done the research, knew exactly which model of stereo & speakers I wanted and also knew the exact price. I'm asking the questions and he's answering to my husband. My husband had the good sense to just walk away. I looked at the salesman and told him I was perfectly prepared to spend upwards of $1,000 dollars for that system, my husband didn't show sh*t about stereo equipment and he had just lost a pretty decent commission as I was taking MY business elsewhere. His manager WAS FEMALE and she basically laughed right at him.
The reverse happens too. In the late 1960's my husband came with me to the pediatrician and he was completely ignored.
So I have watched mum fix tractors, agricultural equipment, the machinery for milking cows etcetera. And out of my many sisters, everyone can fix most small jobs on their cars if they feel for it. Last year, one of my sisters parked outside my garage and changed chock absorbers, springs, made a full service and a number of other jobs on her old Nissan. Mainly because I have lots of tools, and the space. A sister-in-law to my twin brother is a highly qualified welder. The idea that women can't do things/understand/whatever is totally false. And it has hurt women - and men - for far too long.
Sheesh I feel fortunate after reading these...this has never happened to me where I live. I lease a new car every three years (my dad retired from General Motors so I get his discount since he passed) and the sales people all but trip over themselves to greet me when I walk in the door. I guess the commission they get from GM must be good. I usually go to my doctors appointments alone as my hubby cannot handle watching me get blood drawn (he nearly passed out last time he went with me) so no issues there either. I guess the men here are used to women being independent?
I was at a campsite once, and the owner was showing me and my other half our pitch, he said do you want some help reversing in there? I'm a lorry driver, and I spend most of my days reversing massive artics into tight spaces, so obviously I felt a little patronised... I then went and reversed my van right into a Boulder
I am male, and I used to be an auto mechanic. I would always ask a couple who was the primary driver of the car, then I would speak to that person on any issues. I don't care if you have boobs or balls, you drive the car all the time so you know what it is doing on a daily basis. I always assume the person paying knows what they want, and I explain it like they are an adult. If they don't understand, I could always tell when they didn't understand, and I would explain it differently. But I never assume the guy was in charge.
A surprising reversal happened to me. I'm female and was hiking with a male friend. A Mennonite woman walked up to me, completely ignoring him, and asked me a question about the trail. She did not make any eye contact with him, not in that inclusive polite way women tend to do, and she directed her question only to me. It was so interesting and such a shock. It made me think of all the ways in which women are overlooked, not greeted, not asked any questions when there's a man beside us.
Even though my country (Russia) is still behind in many ways, such situations are quite rare here. Men and women may not have 100% equal pay or job opportunities, but s**t of this scale is unthinkable. Women are capable, intelligent and educated, and few would assume otherwise just because she's not a man.
I booked and paid for a hotel room in Dubai for me and my (now ex) boyfriend. My name was on all the booking and payment information but neither the male receptionist nor the luggage carrier would make eye contact with me and only spoke to my boyfriend - including to ask for a tip.
In South Africa, to create jobs and for security, there are guys who guard your car in parking lots of malls etc. Even though I drive in there and get out my car, they invariably greet my husband who got out the passenger seat. They will also ask him for the tip when we leave - and I get into the driver's seat.
Here's the funny thing: I sold kitchens and bathrooms. I very quickly learned to talk with the wife while the husband was browsing the selection. Come to an understanding with her about what they're looking for, and what SHE wanted. Maybe we might look at a couple in a couple different price ranges. Then the husband would come over to talk to me, I'd point out what the wife and I had picked out together. I wouldn't keep it a secret if he asked or trick him into thinking it WASN'T his wife's pick, but I wouldn't present it as "here's what your wife wants." Rarely I'd show him a different one in a different price range depending on how he reacted, but invariably, he'd buy what the wife and I picked out together. The wife would always be like, "Oh, I like that one!" I don't think I EVER sold a kitchen or bath that wasn't the wife's pick. EVER, or failed to sell one that the wife really liked. UPDATE: To be clear, I NEVER treated the wife like she couldn't make the decision on her own. That's what was funny about it; usually it was their way of feeling like they both had their input.
Often when we're out for dinner, golfing, shopping, etc. they always gave the tab/invoice to my partner. It's annoying AF, "hello us women can afford things and spoil our male partner too!"
I was going to meet my husband at a car dealership after work to look at a car he was interested in. I knew I would get there first so asked my husband to give me all the facts about the car. I show up, indicated what car we would be looking at and the salesman actually showed me the visor mirror and "how much room is in the trunk for all my packages when I am out shopping". I didn't let my husband get out of the car, told the salesman we were no longer interested and left. Another time I was looking for a pick up. We arrived at the dealership and my husband went into the bathroom. While I am waiting for him a salesman came up and asked what kind of truck my husband was looking for. I told him I didn't know since I was the one buying the truck. When we went to walk out to the lot I was in the middle of them and the sales person kept moving my way until he pushed me out and I was walking behind them. Got to the showroom told him he was an a*s and we left.
Working my dream retirement job at our local Hardware store after 30 yrs in the fire service. My singular answer to males asking "Is there a guy who can help me?" is DON'T HATE ME CAUSE I WEAR 'MY SET' HIGH! Shuts them down every time!
for some reason, when we had cable, it was in my husband's name. whenever they would call to upsell him something, he would say, "my wife deals with all that, you'll need to ask her". they'd talk to me and then say they needed the account holder's permission to change services. he JUST told you to talk to me. i'd be like, "well he's left the house now, too bad." and hang up.
I used to take my dad with me when I was car shopping, because it weeded out the assholes much faster. My dad knew absolutely nothing about cars. I mean, less than nothing. He once put antifreeze in the crank case. After that, my mom told him to do nothing except drive the car. 9 times out of 10, the salesman would only address him and ignore me.
Whenever we skied with random kids at a resort, through classes or whatever, the boys always got massively pissed to learn I'm a girl under the hat and goggles. Like they were disappointed it wasn't another boy who was the better skier and funnier kid. Gotta say, though, that sh neeeever got old. "Wait, yer uh gerrrl?!" Yep. But seriously, your little tiny skis are so adorable. Maybe one day your mommy and daddy will let you go fast, too. Conveniently, "suck it" is one of those phrases that carries when you shout it as you ski by. They can hear it coming and going. So can everyone else.
The whole car dealership happened to me so many times. Finally, at one dealership another woman was waiting to be approached by a salesman, but it never happened. After over 30 minutes she hissed "What do I have to do to buy a car here? Walz onto the lot with a bag full of money?" Sadly not even that helped and she left.
Seems to be an American thing (again). You guys are living in the 1950s, in more ways than one.
So you've witnessed this but still think these are made up?
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