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“Walk Toward An Older Woman And Say, ‘Mom! A Strange Guy Is Hassling Me’”: 40 Women Share Tips To Keep You Safe
Safety is always on a woman’s mind, so women do what they can to support each other. There have been far, far too many cases where they have been followed by strange men on the street. And it’s the kind of thing that shouldn’t ever happen… but occurs far too often in real life.
The women of Twitter have taken to sharing the safety tips that they’ve tried and tested over the years that might help keep you safe if you’re followed by a stranger. User RetroCrone, who started the viral thread in the first place gave an amazing tip, telling teen girls to walk toward older women and say, “Mom! A strange guy is hassling me. He won’t leave me alone.”
Scroll down for the best safety tips, as presented by these women. And if you know something that you know for a fact might help protect someone from a hassler, harasser, or stalker, dear Pandas, share your thoughts in the comments.
Emily May, the Co-Founder and Executive Director of 'Right To Be,' explained to Bored Panda how widespread harassment is and how to respond to it. 'Right To Be' is a nonprofit that works to end harassment in all of its forms and trains people to respond to, intervene in, and heal from harassment.
Image credits: RetroCrone
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Beatrice Multhaupt 3 years ago
Oddly, this works even in the absence of witnesses. When my 20-year-old self was being dragged from a bus stop by 2 men, I figured I no longer had anything to lose and I told them exactly how I felt , using some vocabulary I learned from a friend who was in the army. Both guys RAN! I vividly remember the sound of their shoe soles hitting the pavement. Years later, a policeman told me that it's not what you wear that attracts predators but if you look like someone who doesn't speak up, they'll figure they can get away with anything. But that day, I did speak up.
Zero1One2Three5Eight 3 years ago (edited)
Two weeks ago I took my pup for a walk up the road. About 10 minutes into it a truck pulled up beside me. I was instantly on alert as I live in a somewhat seedy neighborhood. Before the man can say anything to me though I hear a loud voice calling to me from across the street. An older man I don't know at all started waving and hollering at me. "Oh hello dear! How are you today? So wonderful to see you walking the little one!" The man in the truck suddenly drove away violently, clearly unhappy. I practically ran to the old man and hugged him, sobbing like an idiot. I'm so glad there are genuine people left in this world or I might not be here today. Edit: The man that helped me told me he had seen the truck driving up and down the road and had a bad feeling about it
Nadine Bamberger 3 years ago
Also if you see a kid yelling and struggling, don't assume, might be awkward to ask but better than letting an abuser walk.
Wood Carver 3 years ago
I taught my kid to break things. The pricier the better. Grab and throw glass jars of sauce, if you can break a window or a tv, knock over a shelf. Do enough to get security involved for a different reason....
Linda Jansen 3 years ago
except that if a kid says you are not my mom/dad people will assume it's a stepparent stepchild argument.
Linda Jansen 3 years ago
bad idea to let them say you are not my mom /dad. everybody will think its a step parent.
Emily, told Bored Panda that L'Oreal Paris and IPSOS recently did some research to determine how widespread harassment is as part of 'Right To Be's' Stand Up Against Street Harassment campaign.
The Co-Founder and Executive Director of 'Right To Be' said: "The 2021 study showed 80% of women have experienced street harassment."
"We're working with L'Oreal Paris to train 1 million people in bystander intervention to address street harassment. People can sign up for free training on our website," she shared. This is something that you should seriously consider doing, dear Pandas.
RELATED:
#2
Ginny Weasly 3 years ago
Yes, but the majority is men and girls are taught to be cautious of men, even though boys are not really taught to behave properly around this. So yes, girls can be harassers, but it is more about how this kind of stuff is being taught.
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Zoe's Mom 3 years ago
I've always dislike this comment. Parents can be loving and supportive and still, the kid(s), men or women, can still grow up to be d***s.
Andy Acceber 3 years ago
Yes. Period. It's okay for that to be the end of the statement. Sure, there are a lot of caveats like the fact that women and nonbinary people can also be abusers, some sons are raised great, etc. But the message is: "Raise your sons better." Can anyone really disagree with that?
Wouter 3 years ago
I can, with the 'all' part. I've never harassed a woman or a man, and while I often wonder what the €_&- is wrong with men that do, me and all other decent men, (minority or not) thank you for not treating us as part of those neanderthals.
Load More Replies... MyOpinionHasBeenServed 3 years ago
The things I've heard parents say how they will raise their sons is shocking. "I'm glad I have a son and not a daughter. I don't have to worry about him coming home pregnant." .....
Melanie Bourdon 3 years ago
I have three sons and have raised them well. Comments like this paint every parent of boys and boys with the same brush.
Mr. Jones 3 years ago
Not a fair statement. I know some really awful people who came from amazing and great families and were raised to be good people. Bad people will be bad people no matter what environment they are raised in. And way to just decide that men are bad. I know some awful women, too.
#3
Sea otter simone/ froggy 3 years ago
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Marianne 3 years ago
Tell your children if they get lost to look for a woman with kids to help them. Mothers are normally safe.
Katherine Heasley 3 years ago
That's Gavin de Becker's (The Gift of Fear) advice as well.
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Greek Last Name 3 years ago
It's almost like black women are constantly protectors but never protected...weird...
Isabel London 3 years ago
In my family children are taught to go to a woman if they get lost. ANY woman. Not police or someone in a uniform. Any fool can get a job where you need a uniform, but randomly stumbling upon a woman who will hurt a child is so unlikely that it is always the safer choice.
Trulee Stewart 3 years ago
A point to note: if you wouldn't identify the woman as white in the same sentence, then don't identify the woman as black. It would have been a perfectly fine sentence to say, "Crying, I ran straight to a matronly woman who..." :)
Mary Hilton 3 years ago
My 3 year old daughter got separated from us at the local fall fair. A teenage girl took her to the lost children booth, and we quickly found her. Amazing kid..
Shaun Carr 3 years ago (edited)
For some reason the "matronly black woman" part made me think of Nell on the 80s sitcom "Gimme A Break!" LMAO
Kaila Sterland 3 years ago
What's wrong with just saying matronly woman ! Do we have to add a race to it !
According to Emily, asking for strangers, e.g. older women, for help is "a great option." People in public places can help if someone is following you.
"Our Stand Up Against Street Harassment Training offers three strategies to use in response to harassment: assess your safety, reclaim your space (optional), and practice resilience. Proven ways to reclaim your space include setting a boundary, asking someone for help, or documenting your harassment," she explained to us.
#4
Magoomba 3 years ago
50 years ago in NYC I had a female friend that would humbly ask if I would accompany her when she had to go to bad sections of town. I was an unpaid bodyguard. I was glad to do it. She eventually moved to LA & became a hugely successful movie producer. We still talk frequently.
Claire Stanfield 3 years ago
If you ask a specific person for help, you're more likely to get it.
InfectedVoice 3 years ago (edited)
Anytime, any place. I got you all. I'm a 6'3 metal-head, please approach us, most of us are good-hearted guys.
PaintHat 3 years ago
And we ladies appreciate the gentle giants of the world!
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JayWantsACat 3 years ago
The saddest part of this is Superball felt the need to at least say there was an explanation for why they were walking home in club clothes. They're conditioned by society and shitty men to justify wearing what they were wearing when harassmnent shoudnt f*****g happen at all regardless of clothing.
Mathew Aaberg 3 years ago
This applies to almost all men, even if they are pricks everyone likes being the hero.
Stephanie Pelka-Cole 3 years ago (edited)
When I was about 19 or 20 I was in a club and was being majorly harrassed by 3 or 4 young men, I was completely freaked and separated from my group of friends, I saw a group of 4 or 5 large hulking men and a few young women sitting at a table and I chose the biggest and burliest and plopped down next to him, pretending to be his girlfriend I leaned over and whispered in his ear what was happening. The group happened to be a few employees/bouncers and they not so nicely threw the group out and a few hours later, my "boyfriend" showed up to my friends table at closing and walked my friends and I out to our car just to be on the safe side. Sometimes it's just about using a little creativity and common sense.
Alexis minnix 3 years ago
Dear Clair: this person was in a dangerous situation. When they asked for help I don’t think they cared what the gender of the person was. It doesn’t matter if it was a man or women or any other gender that helped what matters is the person is safe.
#5
Antia Novas 3 years ago
Here in England they have something call Angela, so you go to the bartender and asks if Angela is working, I really like this
Mazer 3 years ago
My friend would tell her date that she would be wearing a flower in her hair. She would go to the prearranged place snd if she didn’t like the vibe of the guy, she would leave, if she liked him, she would go into the restroom and add her flower before going back out to meet him.
Just chucking around 3 years ago (edited)
Only downside to posting it here or when they talked about this on the news is now creeps know there's a list of drink names out there that if they hear it then you are accusing them of something. Would be better if every bar just had this but added a note not to share on social media or talk about drink name they use so the code can stay secret, otherwise it's just as good as telling your bartender that your date is a creep and you need help.
Mermaid Elle-Jaye 3 years ago
I love this for two reasons - safety ❤️ and that line in the Simpsons where homer squeezes the lime in the gangsta guys face and he screams ‘no! A lime!!!’
KvotheBloodless 3 years ago
Posting it online for all the world to see kind of ruins the discreet nature.
Pablo Ramos 3 years ago
I was simply showing that if you are going to create a code to protect victimized women, how can you make it so easily available to the general public? What if I happened to be a violent guy and learned it?
Yeeters 3 years ago
you don't know what bar this is. Not all bars would have the same code, duh
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Demon Girl 3 years ago
EVERY SINGLE F-ING BAR THIS IS AMZAING AND GENIUS!!! maube put a similar one in the men's? but not the same, because then you can give a clear reason to your date if they ask what drink, but they still will not know.
#6
Stannous Flouride 3 years ago
Unlike the Avengers, after a battle they'll leave the city cleaner than it was before it started.
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Britches are for everyone 3 years ago
I can understand why all of these posts are recommending connecting with a woman and calling for moms. Being traumatized by (invariably) a man doesn't make anyone want to seek out another man for help. And absolutely not to diminish the unique role of moms. But I'm a dad of three young children. If someone came up and called me dad, clearly giving all the nonverbals of being in danger, I absolutely would rush to help with just as much enthusiasm as a woman being called mom.
Brandy Grote 3 years ago
I'm not a mom, but I'm a woman who has been there. Come along, daughter, let's go home!
Shabette the Great 3 years ago
All moms answer the mom bay signal. God help the aggressor, bc I am a pacifist until someone cries "mom!" I honestly don't think I would feel guilt over hurting it even killing a person who was after my child or anyone else's.
Deana Bennett 3 years ago
It's a mom thing. We certainly will. I've also known some dad's that would crack a skull open to protect a female in trouble too. Mom's though, yes we are a vicious bunch about our own or others babies. No matter how old those babies might be. .
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Mazer 3 years ago
A good start. Backed up by pepper spray (or for those fine women who are banned from carrying pepper spray) a travel sized container of hair spray will do in a pinch
Deana Bennett 3 years ago
Or like my ten million volt stun gun. Yes I do have one. You'd think it's a cell phone in my hand. I don't have car, walk to bus stop at night going home from work. I showed it to a cop, asked if it was illegal to have one in our state. He said certain conditions warrant illegality, (robbing a person, a store, whatever. Or not warming first that you have a weapon before you use it. Those kinds of things) but if a woman is well trained to use it, it's no problem. I am well trained in it's use, just like I am in using a firearm. But I don't feel comfortable carrying a firearm, concealed or open. I'd rather my attacker live to be punished properly than die at my hand. But, IF I HAD to choose my life or theirs I'm capable and will.
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Emily from 'Right To Be' stressed that it is vital to remember that it is not your fault if you were harassed or stalked by a stranger.
"There is no such thing as a perfect response to harassment, it's their responsibility not to harass you. Taking time to find a sense of safety inside yourself, educate yourself about the issue, share your story, and learn how to intervene on behalf of others are all key parts of the healing journey," she shared how some victims approach healing after being harassed.
#7
Jennifer Norton 3 years ago
As a mom myself I can confirm I would go running as well. I have actually been in several positions to help kids out! Even saved a little 18 month old from running out into a street!
#8
lenka 3 years ago
It's funny isn't it. Older women are denigrated by society but I think its because men are genuinely afraid of them. Afraid that the years of experience and b******t has hardened them enough and taught them skills young women have not yet developed to put men in their place.
Fish Boden 3 years ago
I really believe this. I put up with so much crap when I was younger. It would Never happen now!
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Eric Lafleur 3 years ago
I remember my grandmother who was about four feet 6 inches tall but when she looked at you over her reading glasses, you were Fu.ed big time.
#9
Sue Hazlewood 3 years ago
I worked with an older lady when I was in my teens who carried a brick in her bag. She did actually lay a guy out one night with it.
Reading-under-Sequoias🫶🇺🇦 3 years ago
"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" TheCornerTabernacle just proved that wrong.
Judo Flipped By Nobody 3 years ago
This is one of the reasons i always carry books in my bag, or purse.
Twodogsandapicnictable 3 years ago
A hard bound journal is perfect for throat chops and the corners will mess up someones face pretty good.
Demon Girl 3 years ago
Okay, this will sound weird but in elemetry school I was low-key terrifying. I did not take sh!t from anyone, and I was never seen without a book. some people(espesially teachers) might say 'aw she just loves reading', and I do. BUT you say anything even remotly mean to me or one of my friends, you will get a book right to the head. my cousin actually taught me this, because she told me that when I got older I should always carry a book. she carrys the entire sherlock holmes in her purse. I carry the 5th and 7th harry potter book. FIGHT ME IF YOU DARE!
Who the What 3 years ago
I've always been pretty sure you could knock someone out with a Stormlight Archive book.
Claire Stanfield 3 years ago (edited)
"I am offend! Very offend! You will apology with BOOTS."
Load More Replies...Emily, the Co-Founder and Executive Director of 'Right To Be' (previously ‘Hollaback!’) shared with Bored Panda sometime earlier that parents need to take the time to speak to their children about harassment. It’s a difficult topic, but an important one to tackle. Kids need to know what they might be up against in the future.
“Most parents know they need to talk to their kids about puberty before it happens, but few take the time to talk to their kids about harassment, even though almost half will be harassed by older men by the time they turn 12,” Emily warned.
“We need to equip young people with resources including: what harassment is, what it looks like, how prevalent it is, why it isn’t ok—and most importantly, that it’s never their fault,” Emily from ‘Hollaback!’ explained to Bored Panda.
#10
KombatBunni 3 years ago
Us Mums can go from zero to I’m going to give you hell if you hurt our child in less than five seconds :)
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Carlotta Müller 3 years ago
I would have loved to have such a mum. One that really cared for me and stand up for me. :-(
David Force 3 years ago
I’m so sorry! You certainly deserved better and I’m betting you will be a better mother than the one you got. I have one daughter that I’d give my life to protect.
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Julia Mckinney 3 years ago
Wish I'd had one. My mom barely reacted when I told her about my problem. When I was under 10 yrs. old, I was in London with my family in the early 70's. I'd just foiled a purse snatcher by pinching the back of her hand and twisting. When I tried to tell my mom, she didn't believe me until I pointed out the woman walking away really fast rubbing the back of her hand. She just said "well you took care of it, nothing else to do".
Jennifer Norton 3 years ago
You don't mess with a baby bear when a mama bear exists! If anyone ever touches my girls I will go medieval on their asses without a moment of hesitation!!!!
#11
Deutschland Mädchen 3 years ago
For some reason I thought that she had called the woman 'Mom' so I was really confused
#12
Two_rolling_black_eyes 3 years ago
Most of the time its about power. Bullies come in many forms and racism/sexism are ways to express it. When a bully sees someone whose not afraid of them, they flee. A grown women with experience on how to shut down your misbehavior will terrify many men acting out their insecurities.
Unfortunately, most young women who have been the victims of harassment blame themselves for what happened. They’re then more hesitant to speak about what happened with their parents. They’re scared that their loved ones might blame them for what happened. Emily, the Co-Founder of ‘Hollaback!’ said that they’re scared that their relatives will ask them questions like: “Why were you wearing that?” or, “Why did you take that route?”
“In the same way we tell our teenage kids that if they get drunk and don’t feel safe driving home we will pick them up from wherever they are, no questions asked—we also need to tell our kids that if someone harasses them we will never, ever blame them for it or punish them for it,” she gave an analogy.
“This is important for creating a safe space so that they have a trusted adult they can process these experiences with.”
#13
CD Mills 3 years ago
I had the same thing happen when I was 10 and a decade later. Halloween night, getting dark and I had split from my group to go home. I notice a guy in a car following me very slowly, he calls out asking me where some street is and I tell him I don't know. I KNEW he would take me and I was scared so I glance down the street and walk right up to, then right into the first house with a light on. The older couple inside were surprised when a Fairy Princess burst in but the Granny took one look at my face and asked what was wrong. I squeaked out, "The guy in the car..." and Gramps was out the door and tires squealed as he went toward the street. They drove me home. I'm her/them too!
InfectedVoice 3 years ago
A guy tried to get me and my mate into his car once when we were 8 or 9, we managed to ran off but instead of going home to tell out parents we went and called on more friends and went back out to look for him with little planks of wood and penknives, council estate boys were built differently I swear, we eventually did tell our parents and the police came and took information, guy in a red car, big moustache etc and then 2 weeks later a girl in our area was snatched and the description from an eyewitness was a red car. I still think about that occasionally,. Was it the same guy? What would've happened if had got us? Could we have done more to stop him?
Memere 3 years ago
The first neighborhood we lived in when I was 5-7 years old was like that. It was a new development built after WW2 & full of families with young kids. All of us kids knew we could go into almost every house for help at any time.
David Force 3 years ago
Also full of tough war veterans who would not take kindly to anyone harassing their daughters. My Dad fought on Iowa Jima and I almost felt sorry for my sisters boyfriends.
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#14
Laura Henderson 3 years ago
For every weirdo, there's so many more good people in this world. Thank goodness for them.
Dawn ;))) 3 years ago
There is equal good and bad in the world, sometimes the bad is just louder
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David Force 3 years ago
Walking down the street recently I happened to be right behind a young woman. I know I’m harmless but she doesn’t so I crossed the street and walked where she could see me. You do those things when you have daughters and put yourself in their shoes.
#15
Caro Caro 3 years ago
Brilliant. Men will back off when they think you are a psycho. Also, acting totally aggressively freaking weird helps too.
Monday 3 years ago
Yup! I would mutter to myself when I was in sketchy neighbourhoods during my uni days. Nobody wants to get near the woman tugging on her hair and whispering about insects under her skin.
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HannEli 3 years ago
I like this one a lot and I will definitely use it. Also!!!: if you are at a mall, restaurant, gym, and someone is starring at you and you do not feel comfortable, pick your nose and look at it. Cough in your hands, licking your hands and smell them, anything to make them disinterested. Seems gross but trust me!
Memere 3 years ago
Raise your arm & sniff the pit is a good one too. And scratching yourself all over - they'll think you've got lice.
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Iggy 3 years ago
In my teens, my route home was a dark and dangerous road. I used to swing a chain dog lead. Worked a treat. Thankfully no one ever called my bluff!
Memere 3 years ago
And it's perfectly legal to carry! Note to self: stop at Petsmart & get a chain lead.
Load More Replies... Two_rolling_black_eyes 3 years ago
Take out your phone and say "Hey Jane, my period just started and I'm out of tampons. I'm just around the corner. Can I come up and borrow one?" #1 - guys are squeamish #2 - you now have someone expecting to see you in 2 minutes.
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 2 years ago
Some effective, disturbingly specific, and upsetting threats: “I am going to rip out your tongue and nail it to your forehead” “I am going to flay every inch of skin off your body and leave you to run around in circles screaming until you die of massive blood loss and shock” and “I am going to turn you inside out, scrape out your insides with a spoon, and wear your skin as a coat” please don’t ask.
Yeeters 3 years ago
i suffer from pretty bad paranoia and usually make a point of looking like the worst threat around to deal with it. Massive combat boots, gloves, hood over my head, face mask, muttering and weird movements usually do the trick. I have had people cross the street when spotting me.
Isabel Care 3 years ago
When being followed from a club, I swung round a lamp post shouting "Wheeee" with my high heels in my hand (always took trainers for the walk home). The guy said "Oh, s**t" and ran away
According to Emily, some victims of harassment never end up regaining their sense of security after the horrible things they went through. However, in some cases, the community can be a vital part of helping women feel safer in their local area.
#16
Jennifer Barrett 3 years ago
So important! Most abuse for kids especially comes form someone they know, someone they're told to trust and who their parents trust. Teach them to be rude if they don't feel safe but also to tell you if they were rude so you can talk about it. If that adult doesn't bring it up with the parent it's probably because they know they were wrong and that person should not be near your kid.
Shabette the Great 3 years ago
This is sooooo hard to relearn. Women in our society are conditioned to extreme politeness, even at our own risk
Nadine Debard 3 years ago
Very true. It took me about 20 years and sometimes I am still refraining myself from putting people in their place. I don't think people who were not conditioned this way could even understand.
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Claire Stanfield 3 years ago
Just because they are bold enough to ask personal and invasive questions, doesn't mean you have to answer them. You also don't owe acquaintances, friends, family members, classmates, teachers, coworkers, etc. any information you'd rather keep private.
#17
Kesam 3 years ago
A positive comment without even a trace of bitterness and toxicity. Well done, Claire!
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Lisa Reuss 3 years ago
I will never, ever understand grown-ass adults who dismiss the fears of a child or don't believe them when they say someone is following them, watching them, touching them, etc. I don't care what g-d year it was or whether you knew anyone who had been kidnapped, when a child tells you someone is making them feel unsafe, YOU LISTEN. If you don't you are the worst parent around. I said what I said.
Dina Anastasakos 3 years ago
Makes me mad to hear that the adults just dismissed that kids concern. l have no doubt this smart kid saved some poor child from being abducted
Marianne Luginbuhl 3 years ago
Blizzard of 78, Polaroid just came out and you could take instant pics
#18
Dolly_of TheCowboy 3 years ago
That was something we had hammered into us early on. Never voluntarily move from the primary location; the secondary location is where you likely die. Scream, fuss, fight, do whatever. Make them have to (potentially) kill you right there on the street with witnesses where they will not have prepared the area how they want. Obviously much harder to fight back with an organised team abduction but those are generally not as common as the opportunistic ones
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
Saw a real live police show where an old lady had an encounter with a suspect of murdering 2 women. She told the police officers that the guy showed her a gun and told her to come with him. She replied calmly that if he wanted to kill her, he would have to do it here in a public place but she was not going to come with him. He kept teling her, she kept refusing. Finally the murderer just walked away without harming her. The police offers admired how she handled the situation.
Joanie 3 years ago
I had an instructor once tell the class, if you are carjacked and are made to drive, wreck the car. Hit a telephone pole, bump into the car ahead of you. That brings attention. If you are the passenger, prepare your mind to get out of that car. If possible open the door and roll out. Your chances of surviving the roll are greater than surviving the abduction. If in the trunk, kick out the tail lights and wave your arm or leg. I don't know if I would think of these in a panic but I try to remember them anyway.
Memere 3 years ago (edited)
All of this is great advice, but in newer cars there is no access to the tail lights. But auto manufacturers are required by law to install a trunk release inside, at least in the U.S.
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Klas Klättermus 3 years ago
But if the criminall that is trying to abduct you is a Swedish police they will shoot for sure!
Demon Girl 3 years ago
I just relized, this is why men come with a 'saftey switch' that doesn't really develope until they are older. huh.
“One thing that can help you build a sense of safety, however, is community. Take the time to get to know the good folks in your neighborhood and build positive relationships with not just your neighbors, but the people who deliver the mail, the trash folks, the guy that mows your neighbor’s lawn, etc.,” she pointed out that there are a lot of people in the community who could help someone feel much safer.
#19
Seanette Blaylock 3 years ago
I don't HAVE kids, but a distressed child voice gets my attention fast. I think it's hard-wired.
Dolly_of TheCowboy 3 years ago (edited)
Absolutely me as well. Distressed or obviously unattended children and I cannot just walk on and hope that someone else will do something. I have to at least stop, assess and see if an adult is coming back to deal with situation and if not go over and talk to them and find out what's wrong and if it is a simple fix or needs to get more assistance to locate their family
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XRaine 3 years ago
even as a young teen, if I hear a kid crying, I instantly turn to see what's wrong. I think it's ingrained in almost everyone from the start.
B H 3 years ago
It's in our DNA. Us women come hardwired, nurturing nature
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Leoninus Fate 3 years ago
Im male, but i used to take care of kids and younger adults with family problems or that has no parent figures, I was always called mom and mama, and to this day, if i hear anyone yell out mom/mama, I go to help them, Some guys/male are moms too and we know to protect when asked too
Mathew Aaberg 3 years ago
This applies to Dad too, I don't even have kids but somehow still gets my attention.
Cindy Barnes 3 years ago
I still do too! And my kids are in their 30's and forties. Definitely an automatic response.
Vetus Vespertilio 3 years ago
Absolutely! My daughter is 51, but a scared voice yelling “Mom” is like a call to action.
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CrunChewy McSandybutt 3 years ago
It's true. I have two sons, but even an adult female calling mom will get my attention.
KombatBunni 3 years ago
Yep I hear someone call for Mum and I start looking. And I will always help out if someone comes up to me looking scared and needs help.
Alexis minnix 3 years ago
I’m a child and when I hear another child calling for their mom I try and help them find her
Amanda Hunter 3 years ago
I was in a shop specializing in birds once, and a bird that was being boarded kept saying mom!
#20
A Dasher Panda 3 years ago
Claire needs to be banned from this site. Ffs stfu Claire, you're the only "sad" fool really.
Claire Stanfield 3 years ago
Making a bad name for those of us that do behave 😂
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Danielle Muniah 3 years ago
Claire, I will take the chance with my mortal soul and pray that one day, you will be in a (dangerous) situation and nobody will help you, they will all just sit idly by and watch, while you handle it yourself
Deana Bennett 3 years ago
Claire is an idiot. I've been coming here and reading for a long time. Tonight I decided to be able to comment. All that time I was just reading the articles, looking at some comments, every time I see Claire's name I think, "jeez what an ass". Icky human. Probably just a troll and not a Claire at all but likely a Clarence.
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Just chucking around 3 years ago
I see why everyone is pissed at Claire, but we should also pity her that she doesn't know the value of asking for help. It's sad, really.
Gabi Lawson 1 year ago
Can everybody please go down and see the rest of the coments and report Claire's comment.
Tina Fanetti 3 years ago
I was on a half-empty bus as a teenager. This creepy dude watched every single young girl get off and noted which way they walked. I was in the back row so I couldn't get any adult help without walking past the guy. When my stop came and I got off the bus, I just stood there and the creep started cussing me out and screaming. the bus driver yelled at him. I'm lucky he didn't get thrown off the bus because he would have followed me. I would have loved for a grandma or mom at the time
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#21
Karis Ravenhill 3 years ago
I was 8yrs old and playing in the street with a friend when a teenage boy came up to us and offered us money if we'd show him our butts. Played in the backyard ONLY after that. Perverts and pedo's everywhere. A female isn't safe an ANY age.
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Charlotte Greenhaw 3 years ago
Once when I was six I was at a local restaurant w my parents and this guy maybe in his 50s sits down next to me is eating my food, holding my hand and keeps telling me how beautiful I am. I just got an overall creepy vibe and said I had to use the bathroom. My mom came in and asked if I was okay. We decided to leave. The guy had left when we came out. We told the waitress and left. About a week later we came back and asked the same waitress about him. She told us he had been banned because other people had similar experiences. I am so glad I went w my intuition. Who knows what could have happened.
A B C 3 years ago
Guess you'd feel even more uncomfortable if you were raped and/or abducted. But hey, I'm just guessing.
Load More Replies...“The more people you know, the more people will have your back if something happens again. Knowing this can increase your sense of safety and belonging in your community,” she explained that safety can come from knowing more members of the community.
#22
Joe Reaves 3 years ago
These days you don't need to go back and get the plate number, you've got a camera in your pocket. Take pics of the a*****e. Take pics of his car and plate. Take pics of everything. Police probably won't care right now if you already rescued the girl from harassment but if another young woman in that area gets harmed in the near future the police will be VERY interested. Hopefully just knowing someone has photos will deter the guy from doing it again in that area (and yes I know that just moves the problem but enough people do it and there's nowhere for the problem to go).
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
I'd argue that in these days police is more alert on any reports about sexual predators and possible rapists. Your photos might be the lead to track the criminal down. Clear pictures of license plates helps the police much more than an eyewitness trying to remember the make, model and color of the car.
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Lynn Morello 3 years ago
I was 17 and was being followed by a car full of guys, I knocked on someone's door and they told me to go away or they would call the police, I told them to call the police PLEASE. They did and I got a free ride home.
Nadine Debard 3 years ago
At this time an adult would rather break one leg than to admit 1) there is a dangerous person around and 2) the pervert is interested in their child. And I guess even if they admit it, without any evidence the police wouldn't do anything and it would have ended with lots of trouble for the family.
Auntriarch 3 years ago
Yes, they really weren't the good old days for that
Load More Replies... Klas Klättermus 3 years ago (edited)
It is like when I filed chages in Sweden against a pedophile who is distributing child pornography. The police just laughted at me when they figured out the pedofile worked for the justice system. I feel so sad for that pedophile womans daughters in the images. Unfortunately they will not get any help. :(
Isabel Care 3 years ago
I have reported stuff to the police and said "I know you can't do much about it, but now you have some info when it happens again" when they ask what they're supposed to do about it.
A B C 3 years ago
Yes, really. You seem to not understand a lot of these stories, do you want me to explain them to you in simpler words?
Load More Replies... #23
Grayson Wrigley 3 years ago
You know, as a woman I really do believe that. It's strange, and always has been, having to try and reconcile the belief that most guys really aren't monsters and would willingly help you out of a dangerous situation with the knowledge that it is also most likely going to be a guy who is the danger in a situation. I don't really have a specific point here, just thinking aloud about how deeply I hold both ideas.
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Alex The Fanperson 3 years ago
Call me your sibling/sister. I may be nonbinary, but I can take misgendering from a stranger (especially if they need help)
#24
DUN DUN (she/her) 3 years ago
I was helped by a family once. Will forever be grateful to them.
David Force 3 years ago
I had a young girl about 13 knock on my door and tell me someone was following them in car. I didn’t know her but she saw me often in the neighborhood playing with my own daughter and her friends and she knew I’d be someone that would look out for her. I told her to use my phone to call her parents and let them know where she was and that she was safe. I ran to the street to confront the man who quickly drove away but not before I got his plate number to give the the police.
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NsG 3 years ago
Yup, there needs to be an alternative to "mom". I'm not going to pass for the mother of any of the young women I typically encounter in situations where harassment is a possibility (wrong skin colour in a few cases). But I'm an awesome Auntie. I've been Auntie Sue, Auntie Rita, Auntie Emma....
Wood Carver 3 years ago
It should be something that you can do with men as well. It would for me. Call me dad and I'm your dad. But it doesn't, and I see that it isn't the same safety and for that, to all women, I at least am so sorry.... I'm here for you if I can be though and more men should be willing to intervene when we see s**t from our fellow men.
Lena Flising 3 years ago
I had the wrong date or the wrong place for a meeting once when I was teenager. Ended up on the street where sex-workers meet their clients. The sex-workers all realized I was in the wrong place and protected me against the prowling guys; "Leave her alone!". Lovely women; they had my back.
Psychologist and wellbeing consultant Lee Chambers told Bored Panda that human beings have a desire for certainty and routine that keeps us feeling safe and able to make plans for the future.
“When unpredictable situations or accidents impact us, it can be traumatic, and we will likely feel a sense of disappointment, frustration, and loss," he explained to us.
#25
Claire Stanfield 3 years ago
A young teen at a geek convention asked to walk around with me and my friends once. We did the same thing, walked around with her for several hours, giving her security in numbers. I knew she would be safer with us than wandering around alone at that age.
#26
Rachael Smith 3 years ago
Yes!! I'm 10 months post and still can't stand to watch or read any story about a baby or mom being hurt.
KC Nordquist 3 years ago
My kids are in their 20s and I don't EVER expect my rage at child abuse to go away.
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Jennifer Norton 3 years ago
My baby I birthed is 15 my adopted baby is about to be 12 and I still feel this! My mother who is 70 and I am 45 still feels this. Becoming a mother either by giving birth or adopting triggers something in us women that never goes away!
#27
Brandy Grote 3 years ago
Kids have better instincts about bad people than adults realize. Give them permission to follow those instincts!
Laura Henderson 3 years ago
Such an important point! If they're afraid, BE RUDE, KIDS! Your life may depend on it. Better to apologise for rudeness later than to be at risk.
Klas Klättermus 3 years ago (edited)
Lucky they are not living in Sweden. Here the police would have helped the kidnapper and assaulted the witnesses.
A B C 3 years ago (edited)
Behind door A: a person that wants to kidnap you. Behind door B: a random law enforcing person of unknown sex and gender that has, let's roll the dice, 0.00036% chance of wanting to kidnap you as well. Which door do you open?
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"It is important however that we embrace the fact that the world can be unpredictable and uncertain, and become more tolerant of this being a reality. Understanding that things are sometimes out of our control helps us to accept that not everything goes to plan, and accept when things happen to us that are negative. This acceptance allows us to embrace the change and difference, and manage our expectations so we can become more resilient to the ups and downs that all our lives lead,” the psychologist spoke about all kinds of situations that we’re not prepared for.
#28
Adele Xie 3 years ago
is like, everyone looking for the "nasty claire comments" now? yay! claire, your comment literally doesn't make sense on this.
Jeff Bunn 3 years ago
Remember, no matter what your parents taught you, if a stranger is freaking you out, YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE KIND TO THEM!!! If they pose a danger to you, fight, scream, bite, kick, yell for your mom or dad, DO ANYTHING YOU CAN TO GET AWAY FROM THE PERSON!!! Even if you have to go up to some guy who’s older like me and call me Grandpa, that’s fine!!! I’ll watch out for you until the danger is past!! Then, we’ll call the police together!! There are a lot of us older Vietnam or Desert Storm Veterans who know how to handle ourselves and can protect you from harm!!
Melissa Schermerhorn 3 years ago
Why do you have to be awful on nearly every post Claire? Stop reading if it bothers you so much.
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#29
Bubs623 3 years ago
This. In 6th grade, for whatever reason, the two cool things for boys to do was pop bra straps and grab butts. After 2 months of this, daily, in the hall between every class period, lunch, etc, I was done. Standing in the library line before school (it was cold and the library was warm ...) and the kid behind me did the double: popped the strap and grabbed the a**. I turned around and punched his face as hard as I could. Used my legs like my brother told me and put all my 85 pounds into it. Broke the boy's nose. I was a 'gifted and talented,' straight A student but still, I was suspended for a week. Worth it
STAND WITH UKRAINE 3 years ago
PERIOD, QUEEN!!!!!! ✨ so badass, you're my role model. we need more strong people like you.
Load More Replies... Rachael Smith 3 years ago
I always loved that my Dad gave me permission as a kid that if someone at school was bothering me I had his permission to punch them in the nose. In grade school, I had a bully who was escalating violence against me. I put on a knobby ring one day to go to school, showed it to him, and told him if he did anything to me I was going to hit him in the face with it and he left me alone after that.
Maxie Mills 3 years ago
I did that exact thing to a couple boys in junior high. I'm surprised I didn't seriously hurt them.
Susan Williams 3 years ago
I was sitting in the bus, on my way home from the University, carrying a load of heavy books. An unattached young man sat down next to me and put his hand on my thigh. Without thinking, I raised up my load of books and brought it down hard on his hand. He immediately got up and left the bus at the next stop. Yes, I should have reported him to the bus driver but I was freaking out about what had just happened and didn't think to do that
Ronnie Beaton 3 years ago
Tome - the sound you hear when you wallop someone with a heavy book.
Quiltin Mammar 3 years ago
Oh to have been a fly on that wall LOL. Bet it made his freakin' eyes pop
#30
Demon Girl 3 years ago
honestly I would have adopted him, and I'm a CAT person.
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"Post-traumatic growth isn't always simple to explain or utilize, but often the adversity we face can create a precedent for what we can overcome, help us to see what we need to be grateful for, and give us an understanding of the support we do have. A big part of opening the door to grow from our struggles is finding acceptance and taking ownership over what you can control and finding healthy ways to express the negative emotion that comes with challenges that test us," Lee said.
#31
Madeleine Flowers 3 years ago
Okay, but I have a very big problem with this post. They were in a BART station. The only thing coming to mind is Bart Simpson from the Simpsons. Also, knocking Claire off top comment. It's getting annoying Claire, it's fine to ask for help when you're in a bad situation.
Stacy Parker 3 years ago
BART - Bay Area Rapid Transit, it is the metro system in the San Francisco Bay Area
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STAND WITH UKRAINE 3 years ago (edited)
OMFG CLAIRE PEOPLE NEED HELP SOMETIMES, GET OVER IT. ITS ANNOYING.
Sofia Gonzalez 3 years ago (edited)
CLAIRE JUST SHUT UP. IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING POSITIVE TO SAY THAN DON'T SAY IT.
Lynn Morello 3 years ago
Sometimes if others don't get involved, things can still escalate.
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#32
Rachael Smith 3 years ago
Most guys are ok too, honestly. Find a kindly looking person in general. If they don't deliver, move on to the next one!
Mimi M 3 years ago
True, but many guys are trained to not get involved. Unfortunately.
Load More Replies... Katherine Heasley 3 years ago
I was once sitting on a train with my backpack next to me since it wasn't at all crowded - there was plenty of space. A young woman got on and asked if she could sit next to me. I moved my backpack and let her sit down, of course, but I did wonder why she didn't take any of the empty seats nearby. Then it hit me: all of the other open seats were next to men. She saw me as the only "safe" person to sit next to.
#33
Not Proud British 3 years ago
Then you seek help from anyone else who happens to be around. I would personally go up to a man and ask him for help because I'm not sure another woman would be enough to put some creeps off. And I might make the woman herself feel intimidated. I would march up to the biggest bloke I could spot and ask him to help me.
Jeff 3 years ago (edited)
I really want to know what's so bad about going to a guy @Claire. I'm a guy and a children's ski instructor. I'm also 19 and shaped like a freaking telephone pole if that helps to make me fit your seemingly horrible view of every man out there. I hope that if you should ever need help, someone with a better heart than you comes along.
Load More Replies... Jennifer Barrett 3 years ago
Older women get harassed, threatened and intimidated too, age doesn't always protect you from creeps.
Kesam 3 years ago
I think she's saying older women can be targeted too because it's not just sexual attraction that can motivate an attack. I think...?
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Susan Williams 3 years ago
Just go for the s*****m. Grab the balls, squeeze hard, and twist. He will be on the ground in a second. If you have the strength, give him a knee to the face as he sinks down. Then leave.
Emmett O'Brian 3 years ago
It comes down to, they're looking for an easy target. If they think someone knows you, they can't easily snatch you and get away. Someone will know. No longer an easy target.
Lindsay Collins 3 years ago
There are plenty of us prepared to be your niece 😊 oh hey…..how’s your mum not seen you since you were yay tall 😊
#34
DennyS (denzoren) 3 years ago
I was trying to remember this while reading this post. Thank you.
Rez Fidel 3 years ago
Yes... https://www.care.com/c/secret-hand-signal-domestic-abuse/
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Birma Gustafsson 3 years ago
But if you are going to hit the bastard you should not have the thumb in the hand. You would break it. Only use it to signal you need help.
Susan Williams 3 years ago
Men prey on women. It's a fact. It's true. It's the history of the human species.
Aroha 3 years ago
A kidnapping victim was recently rescued from a car because a lady driving behind them recognised this hand signal.
Load More Replies... #35
Kynnica Pilupner 3 years ago
Claire is not reading the room and instead just spouting woke b******t about having to acknowledge someone first before stepping in and helping them get out of a shitty situation.
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DetongLhamo 3 years ago
Older woman here: don’t really need to be told this as I’ve lived it SO MANY TIMES.
IcarusOfTheSkywings 3 years ago
@Claire, this is for you. STFU FOOLISH MORTAL!
Load More Replies... Tina Fanetti 3 years ago
I feel like you have never been harassed. I was grabbed at a concert. I was focused on getting free not asking around for help. Some guy came over and got me free of the dude. I'm glad he didn't ask and just acted.
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#36
Seanette Blaylock 3 years ago
I'm not sure where the nearest police station is, but I live near a fire station. Also a hospital emergency room and a couple of all-night businesses with very brightly lit parking lots.
Dolly_of TheCowboy 3 years ago
Will second the hospital emergency department in major centres. Most places will have direction signs to a hospital to help ambo drivers from other areas find it in a hurry. If they are in a hard area there will be security at or close to the triage/entrance desk and a LOT of CCTV and lights and coming in hot screaming will definitely get attention. If nothing else running to the ambulance bay and up to the doors and banging on them there will be nursing/security there fairly quickly because ambulance bays usually have CCTV and are near clinical areas that will be attended
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Not Proud British 3 years ago
I was once followed in a car. I was on my way to an interview and I noticed two men in a car behind me. They made every turn I did. I tried to think of it as a coincidence. I made a wrong turn - they turned behind me. I had to do a 3 point turn to go back to the road I should have been on. They were parked up and staring at me. Luckily they couldn't have followed me all the way as the interview was in a place where there is security on the car park, but I do wonder to this day what their intentions where and what would have happened had I been on my way home.
Cathleen Day 3 years ago
Please, all women and men - be more aware when driving. Take note often of the cars around you. Notice if they're following, keeping pace beside, it doesn't cost anything to drive to a police station and either shake the follower or stop and report the car (especially as road rageis so prevalent now). I had a car follow me off an expressway (he thought I'd cut him off). It was 3am, I'd driven to a fast food drive through to grab some food after finishing work and he got out of his car holding an iron bar. I drove straight out and straight to a police station. He was arrested from the description and plate number I gave the police (great job NSW Police)!
JayWantsACat 3 years ago
My ex called me when she out getting lunch one day and said a guy was harassing her and following demanding her phone number. Instead of coming to the office or me going out to meet her, she went yo our old office building both because it was much closer to her and so the guy wouldn't know where she actually worked. I thought that was really smart of her, and it was, but it dawned me that she knew to do that because, as a woman, she had to know. Really changed my thinking about thins from then on.
Susan Egan 3 years ago
One of my SIL drove to my FIL's home. The car was full of various females of the family. As soon as she stopped the car my SIL jumped out of the car walked to the drivers window and cold cocked (hit him in the face with a fist with no warning) him. I don't recommend this as the best way to deal with this situation but it worked and my FIL was a cop.
Stephanie Pelka-Cole 3 years ago
Once I had a man in the midst of road rage due to some sort of thing or perceived offense I committed toward him, who chased my car for 14 miles, I finally got off the highway and pulled into a local police station among where the police cars parked and sat there for about 20 minutes until I was sure he was gone. It worked like a charm.
Susan Williams 3 years ago
I pulled into a gas station when the car behind me signaled that I should pull over because something was wrong with my tire. He drove off quickly.
#37
Aroha 3 years ago
My grandma faked hearing voices and started putting a curse on the attacker, babbling in tongues etc. She saved her own life!
Karis Ravenhill 3 years ago
On one hand it seems like a good tip, but rapists/perverts will have sex with dead bodies, unconscious women, or be happy violently raping a woman who's seizing (for some that might actually be their kick). Feels like i'd be taking too much of a gamble on the personal preferences of the attacker and that a seizure would actually scare him off. I think i'll stick to fighting like a cornered honeybadger.
Claire Stanfield 3 years ago
Fighting is fine. Any roadblock or unexpected action is best - this is assumed to be an attack of opportunity by a stranger. Any noise you can make, any resistance, any weirdness may just scare them off.
Load More Replies... Caro Caro 3 years ago
Go bat sh!t crazy then. Like psycho nuts. Men hate that....
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Jessi Zultanky 3 years ago
Please don't do this. As someone who has seizures due to a medical condition I can rightfully say this is damaging to us. With fake seizures people flop around but that's not what most seizures look like. When I have a seizure (it is nothing like a fake one) people say it's not really a seizure because it doesn't look like what they think a seizure is (which is probably from fake seizures on tv or in movies). Most seizures are not grand mal (the on the floor passed out jerky ones you think of when you think of seizures). I wish people would think of that. Don't ever fake any medical condition.
Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago
I get faking it for attention and stuff like that is very wrong but if you are in a life or death situation, no disrespect, but this could save someone's life. Sheer survival is completely different, IMO. Nobody is really going to see it except the attacker- or if it gets the attention of others I doubt the person is going to persist with pretending they had a seizure, they're going to want to call the cops to report a crime.
Load More Replies... Chris McCabe 3 years ago
Retching & saying that you're going to vomit is a good creep repellent.
Mary Hilton 3 years ago
Had a very big, very drunk guy grab me in a bear hug at a party. He wouldn't put me down, so I started hissing and growing like a very pissed off cat, it freaked him out so much, he put me down and apologized, while backing away..
Bee she/her 3 years ago
I faked a sezuire once for a friends school project. One of her actors almost kicked her in the head
Jennifer Norton 3 years ago
Go no bones! It's hard to pick up a human if they fall on the ground and go all noodle like!
#38
Saucy Aussie 3 years ago
Ok I’m not social either but that doesn’t mean you should ignore someone who clearly needs help
Sea otter simone/ froggy 3 years ago
replying to the dumb claire on this post, I assume😡😡😡😡
Load More Replies... STAND WITH UKRAINE 3 years ago (edited)
Stfu claire it's annoying , and worrying helps people not get raped or murdered so... 🤷
Ellie Rosser 3 years ago
Beginning to think Claire is actually a big hairy biker trying to convince young girls not to seek safety. What's up Claire? You like harassing little girls?
Who the What 3 years ago
I feel like this might be true, just minus the biker. This is too cowardly for a biker.
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Lea S. 3 years ago
@Claire Worrying definitely has its advantages and health benefits; all emotions do. You can chime in as many times as you want but according to researchers, college professors, and psychologists worry has emotional benefits and acts as an emotional buffer. Worry motivates us, prepares us, and pushes us to action.
Just chucking around 3 years ago
Claire sounds like the kind of person who accuses someone of grabbing their ass when they get bumped into. Gonna bet she "doesn't need anyone's help" because she hasn't ever really been threatened. And I'm betting she has never been threatened because even creeps avoid Karens. (Noticing now op is named Karen, and she sounds nice so no offense to people named Karen.)
Riley Quinn 3 years ago
I'm very anxious in public, but unlike Claire, I'm not so hateful as to not offer assistance in a stressful situation.
#39
DennyS (denzoren) 3 years ago
That's such a scary situation, I'm glad you were able to find a way out.
DetongLhamo 3 years ago
Very similar thing happened to my friend and me- man in a car with a knife. I managed to break away from him and ran down the street where there was an elderly woman gardening who had he grandson walk us home. Police came, treated it like a joke. We were 8 years old.
Aroha 3 years ago (edited)
Yes, better to get kidnapped than ask help from a person who happens to be a man. Solid logic.
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#40
Jules. 3 years ago
That is their hobby. Also Clare is a man pretending to be female.
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lenka 3 years ago
If someone told you to put your hand in a bucket of spiders and said only ONE of them is poisonous enough to kill you would you do it? The problem is men are the perpetrators and when you don't know which men you have to assume all men. Sad. but true.
Kesam 3 years ago (edited)
Respectfully, I disagree with this comparison. While it's true that most predators are men and it's wise to be careful about whom to trust, the likelihood of the person you ask for help in an emergency being dangerous is miniscule. To use your metaphor, it would be an olympic swimming pool of harmless spiders (except one) and putting your hand in it would save you from an attack. So yes, I would do it.
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Natalie Kirman 3 years ago
A lot of the men who harrass women don't listen to women when they tell them to stop, they only stop if another man tells them to back off
ima cat 3 years ago
It's help. Shut up stupid. Doesn't matter who helps if you're in danger.
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#41
Mavis Movenpicker 3 years ago
🙄 you're only drawing attention to it by commenting that
Load More Replies... Isabel Care 3 years ago
Quite a lot of sales people have to be polite or risk losing their jobs.
IrrelevantNonsense 3 years ago
And you want to be treated like a m***********g b***h.
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#42
Judo Flipped By Nobody 3 years ago
if i saw someone being harassed while with my parents, i'd run up to them and be like: "Hey! We've been looking for you, mom and dad were so worried! Don't run off like that!" and pretend they were my sibling.
#43
Judo Flipped By Nobody 3 years ago
i would litterally pretend anyone was my sibling, and i also never go out alone(i don't like more social interaction then what is needed) so i would get whoever was with me in on it, mabye as simble as them saying: "Hey! That's your sister/brother/sibling, right?"
#44
Laura Henderson 3 years ago
Thank you for your support, on behalf of all women! And to all women: listen to this. Of course your instinct is to seek a woman if you're feeling threatened by a man, but statistically, if you've got one creep already near you, other people in the street who are not with that creep will be good men, so use them too if you have to.
De Gueb 3 years ago (edited)
It happened to me in a pub, 3 young girls on a night out being harassed by all the guys. Some guys are pathetic.... One of the girls asked me (mate) to keep an eye on their stuff when they went for a cigarette. Turned out they stayed next to me all night, none of the guys came close after that. We ha a great time and they gave a lift back to my hotel.
#45
#46
Cold Contagious 3 years ago
It can be hard to keep your cool in panic mode, so glad she did and remembered what to do.
#47
UpQuarkDownQuark 3 years ago
Screen shot that text and profile pic, find his Instagram friends, and send it.
Roxy Eastland 3 years ago
I would *so* want to out him to all his work colleagues. This type of fishing is looking for some poor girl who comes from a difficult home and is hungry for some positive and attention and affection. Once he finds someone vulnerable it is not hard to exploit this to get whatever he wants.
#48
A Dasher Panda 3 years ago
Imagine a poster here getting more negative points for her stupidly than positive points in the post itself.
Cold Contagious 3 years ago
It's very sad that someone would waste their time and energy antagonizing people online for the heck of it, but whatever gets their rocks off. What's just as bad is the level that people are being triggered and using malicious and bullying comments to address this person. If it is a troll, they just made their day. That's entire goal of a troll and they'd be winning. They're much better off being downvoted and ignored. I will not give any other person this kind of power over me. It's a shame to see.
Load More Replies... Gaby Almodovar 3 years ago
I'm pretty sure, you are not a woman, but one of those creeps.
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#49
face be drawn lmao 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 3 years ago
it's a known fact, that any mother can be summoned with a shout of the ancient word "mom" mother, mommy, and female parental unit (do not try the last one that is a joke) work just as well.
#50
Debbie 3 years ago
A hug is going a bit too far, could also be a neat trick by pickpocketers. Walking up to someone an greeting them is enough I think. (instead of hugging as initial contact)
Iggy 3 years ago
She was probably panicking about getting away from the creepy guy.
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#52
Judo Flipped By Nobody 3 years ago
I love when old ladies act like this instead of being karens, they act like my grandma instead of pissing of everyone else!
Eithne Griffiths 3 years ago
I was being followed on a NYC subway,when I got to my stop I ran up the stairs and out.Across the road were two large men,I ran across and asked if I could stand with them as I was being followed.Only to realize they were doing a "deal".When the guy following me was out of sight,the two men walked me home.
#53
Seanette Blaylock 3 years ago
We do need to keep in mind that the greater majority of any category of humans are basically good people or trying hard to be good people. Not everyone who's male/ethnic minority/young/pick your category is automatically a threat.
Amery 3 years ago (edited)
I just LOVE your 1st name, and the spelling of it!~ (AND YES, YOUR POST; YOU'RE CORRECT!~)
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Claire Stanfield 3 years ago
You are also way more likely to be attacked/taken advantage of/abused/etc. by someone you know than a stranger. Watch for the signs before the attack shows up - someone who doesn't take you seriously, who second-guesses you, who makes you feel insecure and takes shots at your self-esteem. They're trying to loosen the foundation so they can topple you.
#54
The lesbian knitting panda 3 years ago
Claire the majority of the world is nice and when you're desperate you have no other option but to trust them, whoever they may be.
A B C 3 years ago
So you keep making your point that you don't want to bother people. Why, for f*cks sake, do you not stop bothering us with your bullshít attitude?
Load More Replies... #55
Saucy Aussie 3 years ago
Claire what is your problem? Why are you criticizing these people who are helping those who need it? You’ve clearly never been in such a situation, so quit complaining and just be supportive to those good people who saw what was going on and did something about it!
humdrum 3 years ago
Claire wants to be left alone and she needs the world to know.
Load More Replies... IrrelevantNonsense 3 years ago
Shut up. You're so insensitive. Dogs, women, men, they can all help. You don't need specific body parts to be a hero.
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#57
#59
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
Sadly that something a guy can't do. But he can (pretend to) call the police. Creeps don't like police officers asking them for their ID and why they are harassing young girls.
#61
Brandy Grote 3 years ago
Guy grabbed my mom one night, hand over her mouth. She bit a finger off.
Rez Fidel 3 years ago
Long range --> Snap kick in the NUTS! Short range--> knee strike NUTS & claw the EYES!
Lukas-not-Luca (he/him) 3 years ago
Scratch the hell out of them- their skin cells get under your fingernails and it can be used to find their DNA and possibly find them.
Judo Flipped By Nobody 3 years ago
I have claws for nails, so if someone is messing with anyone in front of me, i'll claw their eyes out.
KayKay 3 years ago
So Claire, if I see you being penned down and/or beaten by someone stronger than you I should just calmly walk over and ask politely if you would like some assistance? Or just leave you there being turned into a bloody pulp because you can't have someone doing something for you.
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Rachael Smith 3 years ago
In a young women's group we had an officer tell us that if we were being abducted to stick our finger down our throat and throw up on them.
#63
Autumn 3 years ago
Yeah, in my city you never see the police patrolling on foot anywhere.
Load More Replies... Not Proud British 3 years ago
In the UK the bad guy who kidnapped, raped and murdered a girl WAS a police officer.
Jace 3 years ago (edited)
Holy s**t. So much for trusting the police. Which case was that if I may ask?
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Klas Klättermus 3 years ago (edited)
Not in Sweden. Here the polilce would offer to drive her home and then rape her and leave her outside of town as they usually do
#64
3 years ago
Claire nobody cares about your opinions. You clearly are a toxic feminist and you're showing how immature you are. Go away.
Caleb R 3 years ago
Some advice my father (former police officer) gave me: trust your gut about situations that feel wrong, but keep in mind that as a man, only directly intervene by approaching the girl/woman you when it's a situation of imminent danger for her, especially if you can tell she's already scared or on edge. Intervene in other ways, if possible. Before cell phones were a thing, my Dad would always approach the potential creep with the line, "do you have a moment to talk about Jesus?" It gives her a few precious seconds to slip around a corner or disappear into a crowd, and it lets the creep know that someone has seen him, in detail. Only do it if it's safe, obviously.
ima cat 3 years ago
TOXIC FEMINIST WARNING! do you think all men are bad? if so, go to h3ll. start treating all genders with respect.
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#65
Mart Mccabe 3 years ago
I really hate this idea. If you use your keys as a weapon there is a good chance you will drop them in the fight. Fights are messy. Then if you make a break for it you will not be able to get in your house or car. Which are safer locations.
#67
CelticElff 3 years ago
It's not that they are (all) special snowflakes. Being a military spouse puts you in situations civilians may not even consider. Anti-terrorism is taught prior to going overseas, and having a healthy level of self-awareness is strongly encouraged. I do agree that "I outrank my spouse" or "My spouse's rank is MY rank" is nonsense. Honestly, some of the concepts taught would be useful to most women (such as "don't drive the same route every day, don't have a routine that's easily tracked" kind of things).
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#69
The lesbian knitting panda 3 years ago
Claire we don't know your experiences but please stop posting comments that no-one needs to read and no-one thinks are helpful. Just stop.
Marykay Klim 3 years ago
I think she's just counting her clicks and it makes her feel good or accomplished or some other such nonsense.
Load More Replies... Amery 3 years ago
Yep, My hubby is almost in that range; he's a truck driver. He just helped out two young ladies with car problems in a truck plaza LAST week. He got their 'heckling' on dashcam, and sent it to THEIR company (trucking) that I won't mention. My hubby with our pittie... those idiots were gone.
Vetus Vespertilio 3 years ago
My husband’s definitely an old guy, silver hair and beard, and polite as all-get-out. If anybody of any gender asked him for help, they’d get it, no questions asked. He feels that decency is a basic requirement for humanity.
#70
Madeleine Flowers 3 years ago
I'm a bit confused here, what does it mean when it said, "Accosted the creep, but too late. He'd left his mark on her backpack."
#71
#72
ZAPanda 3 years ago
they need to add a "being sexually harassed" button to uber client app, and a voice recording function so the entire trip is recorded.
Amery 3 years ago
Ya know, you could be 'wealthy' if you create and market that product. (Don't forget ME!) :)
Load More Replies... #73
Dorothy Parker 3 years ago
Reasonable thought, except the police aren't right there. Most men harassing women don't want trouble from a second woman and will back away quickly.
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
If it looks like the situation is going to get violent you're better off asking help from the biggest man present. Wasting time calling the police when you're about to get assaulted is not smart. You can get seriously wounded before the police has arrived. If your on moving public transport you'd have to wait for the next stop before the police can help you so it's wiser to rely on people that can actually help you right away.
ZAPanda 3 years ago
nah, he can snatch the phone out your hand and hang up, dialling takes time. Ask for help.
CrunChewy McSandybutt 3 years ago
We women aren't totally helpless, and creeps tend to back off when there is more than one of us to contend with.
Jenny Pugh 3 years ago
Nah, most women are so p!ssed off with being harassed that given the chance to help a sister out, we'll grab it with both hands.
Isabel Care 3 years ago
Lots of places you get put on hold for a while when it's busy, then it'll take some time for help to arrive. Use the help available in the area whilst dialling the police
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What do you think ?
Madeleine Flowers 3 years ago
What I learned: -Fight back -Claire is annoying -Ask for help -Claire is very annoying -Do NOT go to a 2nd location! -Claire is probably a harasser in disguise -People will want to help you, so ask for it if you're in a bad situation. -Claire is an a**e
Not Proud British 3 years ago
I wholeheartedly agree with one of the first comments. Parents - bring your sons up better. Teach them to respect everyone, regardless of gender. To respect personal space and to be willing to step in whenever anyone needs them to. Never to be afraid to call out another man over unacceptable behaviour. We need men to make this kind of behaviour a thing of the past.
Stephaniep 3 years ago
You're the good Claire and it makes us appreciate you more.
Load More Replies... Lianne 3 years ago
I'm worried about creeps working as a duo. One harasses the woman and the second one pretends to save her and walks her home... So if a man comes up the save you, that's nice, but maybe don't go along with everything he suggests after that.
Becky Samuel 3 years ago
I hate to be paranoid, but ever since the story of a girl who was picked up in an ambulance after being gang-ráped and then the paramedics took her away and did jt to her again, I'm more inclined to believe it. Just last week on this very site they mentioned that more than three-quarters of people grooming women and children for people trafficking were women. It's hard to walk that line between common sense and paranoia.
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Miriam L 3 years ago
Claire, I'm sorry that no one was there when you needed them. I'm sorry that you learnt that trusting people to help you was a sign of weakness. I'm sorry you've bought into the mentality that if a person is being hurt or threatened, it's not the business of anyone around them. That keeping your abilities as an independent person is more important than safety. Maybe that people who can't defend themselves don't deserve help. But the world isn't like that. Most people would rather be part of the solution than read about the problem later. Most people want to help other people. If they don't, they'll say "what, I don't know you, buzz off" and the person being harassed will try to find someone else to help them. These stories are meant to empower people to know that there's safety in the people around them, to break out of that "I must do it alone" headspace and ask for help knowing people will help. Again - I'm sorry you've never felt like this was an option.
Lindsay Collins 3 years ago
The more Comments I was reading the more I was thinking omg what has caused Claire to be like this 😔
Load More Replies... Iggy 3 years ago
If everyone ignores Claire, she'll go back under her bridge like a good little troll.
Sareaesque 3 years ago
My partner was late home one evening. He had walked past a group of lads following and harassing a young lass who was crying, and he's not the sort to ignore something like that. He yelled at them to get their attention, and got them to chase him so the lass had enough time to get away. They chased him around on bikes for a couple of blocks before he lost them/they gave up, he was knackered by the time he got home but I was so damn proud of him for doing that.
Who the What 3 years ago
Dear people: Claire is definitely just some dude pretending to be a girl. The account has only ever interacted with this post. Please lose as little faith in humanity as possible. Thanks!
Amo Mazzuchelli 3 years ago
I taught my daughter to scream "I don't know you, leave me alone" and when travelling on public transport look for someone with government ID tags and sit and talk to them.
Marianne Luginbuhl 3 years ago
I'm middle aged with an epic RBF and frequently packing knitting needles. ( cuz I knit!). My poor hubby feels badly cuz hes 6'6 and sees a lot of ladies cross road rather than walk by him. He's a middle school teacher and a total gentle giant.
Madeleine Flowers 3 years ago
What I learned: -Fight back -Claire is annoying -Ask for help -Claire is very annoying -Do NOT go to a 2nd location! -Claire is probably a harasser in disguise -People will want to help you, so ask for it if you're in a bad situation. -Claire is an a**e
Not Proud British 3 years ago
I wholeheartedly agree with one of the first comments. Parents - bring your sons up better. Teach them to respect everyone, regardless of gender. To respect personal space and to be willing to step in whenever anyone needs them to. Never to be afraid to call out another man over unacceptable behaviour. We need men to make this kind of behaviour a thing of the past.
Stephaniep 3 years ago
You're the good Claire and it makes us appreciate you more.
Load More Replies... Lianne 3 years ago
I'm worried about creeps working as a duo. One harasses the woman and the second one pretends to save her and walks her home... So if a man comes up the save you, that's nice, but maybe don't go along with everything he suggests after that.
Becky Samuel 3 years ago
I hate to be paranoid, but ever since the story of a girl who was picked up in an ambulance after being gang-ráped and then the paramedics took her away and did jt to her again, I'm more inclined to believe it. Just last week on this very site they mentioned that more than three-quarters of people grooming women and children for people trafficking were women. It's hard to walk that line between common sense and paranoia.
Load More Replies... Miriam L 3 years ago
Claire, I'm sorry that no one was there when you needed them. I'm sorry that you learnt that trusting people to help you was a sign of weakness. I'm sorry you've bought into the mentality that if a person is being hurt or threatened, it's not the business of anyone around them. That keeping your abilities as an independent person is more important than safety. Maybe that people who can't defend themselves don't deserve help. But the world isn't like that. Most people would rather be part of the solution than read about the problem later. Most people want to help other people. If they don't, they'll say "what, I don't know you, buzz off" and the person being harassed will try to find someone else to help them. These stories are meant to empower people to know that there's safety in the people around them, to break out of that "I must do it alone" headspace and ask for help knowing people will help. Again - I'm sorry you've never felt like this was an option.
Lindsay Collins 3 years ago
The more Comments I was reading the more I was thinking omg what has caused Claire to be like this 😔
Load More Replies... Iggy 3 years ago
If everyone ignores Claire, she'll go back under her bridge like a good little troll.
Sareaesque 3 years ago
My partner was late home one evening. He had walked past a group of lads following and harassing a young lass who was crying, and he's not the sort to ignore something like that. He yelled at them to get their attention, and got them to chase him so the lass had enough time to get away. They chased him around on bikes for a couple of blocks before he lost them/they gave up, he was knackered by the time he got home but I was so damn proud of him for doing that.
Who the What 3 years ago
Dear people: Claire is definitely just some dude pretending to be a girl. The account has only ever interacted with this post. Please lose as little faith in humanity as possible. Thanks!
Amo Mazzuchelli 3 years ago
I taught my daughter to scream "I don't know you, leave me alone" and when travelling on public transport look for someone with government ID tags and sit and talk to them.
Marianne Luginbuhl 3 years ago
I'm middle aged with an epic RBF and frequently packing knitting needles. ( cuz I knit!). My poor hubby feels badly cuz hes 6'6 and sees a lot of ladies cross road rather than walk by him. He's a middle school teacher and a total gentle giant.
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