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50 Women Share The Ways They Were Body-Shamed And It’s Just Too Horrible To Read
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Sally Bergensen is the CEO of Oiselle, a Seattle-based athletic apparel company by women, for women. She recently took to Twitter to share a body-shaming story from her childhood that, despite taking place when she was just a twelve-year-old teenage girl, is clearly something she's never forgotten.
"Keep eating like that, and you're going to be a butterball," her father had said to her, and now she's encouraging other women to share their experiences of being body image shamed by using the hashtag #TheySaid. And as you can see below, many women were quick to come forward with their own stories of friends, family, and sometimes total strangers making hurtful comments about their body type, size, or being way off the line of beauty standards. The hashtag has even spawned a sister hashtag called #SheReplied, which people are using to share ways to respond to the next person who says something unpleasant about the female body. Scroll down to see some of the responses to uncalled for public shaming so far.
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I know. I really, REALLY hope this !@#$%^&* got in trouble
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What? This is a doctor? Doesn't he know the physical and psychological damage bulimia does? He is an awful, sick man.
OMG wow, he would no longer be a doctor giving out those types of comments, not to my daughter he wouldn't
I find it so hard to believe this is still happening; it's appalling.
“Give me attention on Twitter” #SheSaid As she tweeted a story of something that never actually happened.
I hope you reported this piece of garbage. I am so sorry this happened to you.
You need to report him to the medical board before he tells this to anyone else! That's clear malpractice.
Hur?? should he be concern of food poisoning ?? OMG, i hope he lose his job.
A girl I know (who's natural body weight was too low ~ 100 lbs) went to the doctor to help her GAIN weight. Doctor told her : a lot of girls would be jealous of you.
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I'm so sorry. I am on antidepressants that have caused weight gain and I have experienced such negative feed back. People can be cruel.
Body shaming from a different perspective. After a nasty break-up in December i started suffering from depression and just stopped eating. I was down to 44kg in no time and people kept telling me how awful i looked. I knew that it looked terrible, but no need to keep f*cking telling me that all the time. That really hurts. Now I am getting better each day :)
That is terrible and ridiculous as well. Fortunately some men have still other skills than only weight plus I know still enough like it when a woman has some more to cuddle with
Same thing happened to me... I was 15 and it was my aunt. I never wanted to be a model anyway but why say such a mean thing?
I get that nonsense from time to time. Guess what? I'm 54. I plan on doing whatever I want for the rest of my life and I need muscle and bone mass to do it.
It makes no sense: at 13 yo, she's responsible for you and moreover she's supposed to be supporting you and love you no matter what
Honestly, I would kind of expect this from a thoughtless jerk of a teen sibling, it's the parents that make me see red!
they say this for everything, cut me 14 years old, 3 years after getting my face messed up and scar-ed up from my stepmom, I was 6'9 and 102 {100?} pounds "You need to lose weight, you will feel happier than" yeah....... no, turned out I had Pseudo Tumor Celebi, depression, and other problems
I knew a girl in college who was a power-lifter. If you didn't know that, an asshole would assume she was overweight. I think she was about 240lbs of muscle.
such a bad thing, starving yourself can actually lead to weight gain, your body tries to bulk up thinking there's no food and puts you in a hibernation-like a thing with fat,
OMG sooo sad, reminds me of when I was 13 and my friend told me guys that date fat girls only date them for 1 thing...yes and she was supposed to be my best friend, funny thing was I wasn't even fat at the time as I look back at pics I looked great, sometime a persons motives can be jealousy as well.
That has to be the most horrible thing someone could say to their child :-(
No wonder there are so many anorexic girls! Who's giving such idiotic ideas anyway?
this is so sad, My brother does this to our sister, she has the same problems but diff background as me, our brother lost tons of weight after getting all his med problems fixed, we haven't, our sister has the opposite of me {im under, she's over} and our brother calls her whale, bakery, fat, chub chub, and other words, she's 28 and 200 pounds, he is 24 and weighs 160 pounds with me at 29 at 120 pounds, our brother even got on tv for losing his wight.....{i guess pm or message me if you want that link}
I am sorry, but this is the most idiotic, wrong, mean and simply absurdest thing I ever heard a mother saying to her daughter. Seriously.
So, like someone pointed out so accurately above this post, they are supposed to be taking care of you! So, if they think this, and all those other nasty thoughts, why not say these things instead... let's all take a walk after dinner, it's such a nice night! Hey let's go to the beach and play frisbee before the sunset! You know, daughter, I've put on some weight. I think I need a walk, would you take one with me and keep me company? We could walk the dog together, how about that?
I know this one. The sister of my ex boyfriend told him I looked better when I've been a bit skinnier and with Make up.
Note: this post originally had 218 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.
If find the "family advise" particularly appalling. Failing to teach your children the merits of sports and how to cook healthy, nutritions food, probably even serving them unhealthy food when they were young, but then making comments about the weight is disgusting. Undoubtedly, parents ought to be critical when their children have an unhealthy livestyle. But, as other posters also underlined, being a critical advisor means supporting rather than shaming.
Exactly. How hard can it be to quietly and privately say, "I'm concerned, your weight doesn't seem healthy, how can I help?"
It's horrible to see that the ones that are supposed to be there for support are the ones tearing them down. This won't motivate anyone to become healthier, quite the opposite. It will make them try to lose weight in unhealthy ways. My mother has never called me fat, even when I was. She would wake up every morning and tell me how beautiful I was and to never let anyone make me feel otherwise. If I wanted to lose weight, she said "OK, I'll help you but know that I think you are beautiful the way you are." I believe my mom will be getting a big hug today. I will continue that tradition with my daughter, she's 4. I tell her how beautiful, smart, and kind she is everyday. It's my job as a parent to be the comfort my child needs in a horrible, judgmental world.
My mom had an untreated mental illness and often said hurtful things, but never once did she body shame me. Passing on body positivity
The most painful for me is to read such kind of statements from the own parents and relatives. There are so many reasons one can have overweight and instead to bully everybody some people should better turn on the brain and give support if they know the person or at least keep silent.
Wat
Been bodyshamed myself a few times. My ex called me fat once... (after we broke up, he started dating a girl that was way bigger than me, that kinda hurt back then but he's a dbag anyway) And one time some guys stopped their car next to me as I was walking down the street, while eating an icecream. Heard the group laughing and 1 said "should you even be eating that, you fatty". Like, how about you mind your own business and lemme me enjoy an icecream on this hot day? Btw, all the females in my family are a bit "bigger", I got the thinnest waist in the family, but can't escape the bigger legs though. We're not really fat though, just chubby I guess? I work out to lose weight, but you can't change your bodyshape so... Atleast my family never made awfull comments like that.
I'm sorry for that. Stay as you are. By the way: Jesus loves you.
Don't parents have any idea how much they hurt their kids by saying stuff like that. Disgusting!
People rarely listen to what they say before they say it, or even after.
Sister and brother in law gave me a card with cash in it to buy clothes. They had cut up men's pants, men's shirts, all large men pictures and taped them in the card. I was 24 and had been about a size 14, 5ft 11 in. I was so hurt but then more angry. The next year they bought me a coat, a mans coat because they said they couldn't find a women's coat in my size. I have had to deal with these people for over 40 years.
Sometimes you just have to surgically cut people from your life, if you can. If you do, calmly tell them why and provide instances
I'm really sad that there are 22 pages of this. I imagine the longer this stays up, the more pages there will be.
Went to an orthro appointment Woman leads me into the space saying " Ohh your so skinny" look back at mom it waiting room Mom has suprised look on face Next time after I gained weight ( I wasn't healthy and was growing) Woman ( after I'm in the chair): oh, you were so skinny last time.. oh well you still kinda are. As a 14 year old I'm appalled by how this woman thought to comment on my weight. Being 12 and weighing about 75 pounds was gross and now I'm at a healthy 105 pounds. That woman was stupid. ( I'm 14 I can still be a child and call people stupid)
You or your mom need to either say something to this woman or speak t her boss. She's saying things like this to other people
My grandma always called me a dwarf bc I'm really smal and my same age cousin was always taller than me. Grandma also alled my fat when I was on hard medicine. Thank you, Grams, for putting me into bulimia when I was 13.
Happens to everyone. At 12 my mate told me I had legs like Mike Tyson and when I was about 16 he used to refer to me as "Jabba" Had the last laugh though (not that I am petty) cause when we got to about 30 it was totally the opposite although I never felt the need to point that out to him.
Body shaming is not the way to make someone loose their weight, while these ppl were dicks to say these things, especially to kids, one needs to keep in mind that there is a reason BMI is divided the way it is. Once you hit the obese range, I can tell you - you're in for a ride... oh boy. Disease doesn't happen immediately it accumulates before it blooms, once it blooms it's too late. Obesity ALWAYS leads to disease. Sorry to tell you, but there is no way to avoid it if you're obese. It doesn't have to be cancer or diabetes, it can be joints, gastroenterological problems, neurological diseases the list goes on and on and on. I say this from experience and I had a close call due to my weight. I waited, never willing to slim down because I was fine with myself, I got people who love me, friends who like me... but none of this matters when you realize the direction your body is taking you.
Good reminder. While a good self image is great, it's small comfort when your on machines due to a stroke.
It's really disgusting how many people suggest that "throw up after meals" BS! That's not healthy! And so many mean people (family, doctor... ) who are supposed to support you...
I can't BELIEVE how their own family is just being rude to them. That doesn't encourage to get more skinny, it increases resentment between them.
"You will never fuck any girls if you dont lose weight" - my dad "You smell as disgusting as you look" - my mom "Specki Mampftonne" - my mom (explanation, im german speck(i) means bacon, mampf means to eat and tonne is something like trash bin) After asking a girl for a date in school: "why don't you ask someone at the schoolyard for gay people, fattie?" Every woman at work always thinks its okay to touch my "breasts" and one slapped my ass more than one time. Thats just the first few things that came up to my mind when I thought about this but there was so much more during my life and I guess Im not the only one. I wish there would be more boys/men who can find the courage to talk what they've experienced. But this will probably not happen because we always tell boys that its not ok to show "weakness" or to be sad, we tell them that its always a goal when a girl does anything sexual related to you. Im so sick of this shit.
It breaks my heart to read these... its horrible how the people closest to you would shame you for no good reason. I guess the ones I can really relate to are the cup size ones. I'm an A cup at 16. I would be shoving food down my gullet if my Mother didn't feed me to become a twig. There is no food in the house, and she doesn't trust me with a damn quid so I can't get snacks or anything during the day. I'm always so hungry haha it sucks
babe, I know how you feel, except there was food in my house but if I touched it my stepmother would punish me for stealing. Now I have a job so I can buy my own food
Once they make body-shaming a hate crime, we'll know that things are starting to go in the right direction.
There's nothing wrong with being heavy if you're healthy. But obesity and over-overweight can cause lots of health problems
That still doesn't give anyone the right to comment on it, especially when 99% of those comments will tear down basic self-esteem and encourage dangerous methods.
PREACH! It's always the people telling them they're fat and need to improve that's the problem huh...
I have so many... but the first one that popped into my head is about this guy I worked w/ who said, "Hey, I heard you're going out with Dave. ( laughs ) I didn't know he liked fat girls."
This is sad- I'm pretty overweight on the BMI scale, and I'm trying my best to start losing the extra pounds and fat. My family and friends have been nothing but supportive, and it makes my heart ache to know that so many other people aren't as lucky as I am in the ways of positive encouragement.
Keep the hard work up!!
I had to stop reading. It's all the crap I've heard all my damn life. And I jumped down the throats of my ex when he said this crap, too.
I've a beautiful daughter and a beautiful granddaughter and I WILL NOT put up with that crap said to them. ALL of us are worth better.
During elementary school all the kids would call me Haleigh walrus instead of Haleigh Wallace. It hurt me so much, to this day I can't hear the word walrus without wanting to cry.
My mother knew exactly how much I ate because she cooked most of it. I was a skinny kid who couldn't gain weight but she was embarrassed by how skinny I was. She was embarrassed because she thought people would think I was anorexic. The stress of trying to gain weight meant I lost more weight. Clothing in those days were very hard to find in my size.
I can relate to them so much. My mom always said to me "don't you feel uncomfortable in your body?" and is still trying to persuade me to do a diet. I'm still having problems loving myself.
Love yourself enough to improve! She's just looking out for your health but in a bad way it seems.
She isn't looking out for my health. My mom cares more about how you look like to others, thats why she always eats healthy and do a lot of diets. She also goes to the dermatologist ecery once a while so she can laser her scars etc. off her skin...
It's heartbreaking to see so many women who've received such hateful comments from people who should offer unconditional love. Even worse than that, is knowing that so many men out there have been through body shaming of their own. People need to realise that the old 'sticks and stones' rhyme is nonsense, and words can hurt more, and last longer than any broken bone.
I can relate to these. Worst part is, all the bullying just made it to where I hate sports with a soul-searing passion and am just now (in late middle age!!) working on my bully-induced aversion to physical activity and its mental association with being told how fat and worthless I am. If we taught people to love their bodies and just start where they are with any physical activity, we would NOT have an obesity epidemic. There would still be natural variations in size, shape, and athletic ability, but we would not have many extreme problem cases, no one would hear a chorus of nasty voices every time they tried something physical.
I'm so sorry :( how we look is our business and you are a beautiful person regardless of your weight!
When I was thin from a break up and working out I was always told - eat something you'll blow away. I gained weight on zoloft now I've had
a handful of bad dates inform me I'm to fat for them. It's heartbreaking.
Screw them lol your weight shouldn't be there problem.
I'm so sorry :( how we look is our business and you are a beautiful person regardless of your weight!
He makes me eat more and more to make me gain weight. Ppl always have an issue with other's weight.
I'm so sorry to hear that. My father tells me that I am too skinny and I look all dry and dead. He always has to see what I eat and make
My experience: "You could be 110 pounds and still would not be skinny" - my dad, who has been on my case about weight for 2 years. The heaviest I ever was was 140 lb just before my 15th b-day. That was 2 months ago. I'm 135 now. The lightest was 130. Goal: 123 LB by the time I'm 16.
Julia King good
12yo me sitting there not thinking about my weight for once. My aunt- "you're built just like your cousin, don't worry, she lost all her weight when she got older, you will too." 11yo me sitting in the bleachers with my friends, my crush behind me "What do you think about 'm name', I think shed be pretty if she just lost weight." 8-18yo me, walking down the hallways at school switching classes, every other kid there oinking or mooing in my direction. 4-20yo me, my older sister calling me fat every day of my life, telling me how disgusting I was, once telling me my stomach was so big wash cloths weren't big enough and I should use a handtowel. I have so many more.
Grandmother: Why aren't you wearing makeup? 35 year old me: Because my natural face is good enough. Grandmother: No it isn't.
Mom: You have nice hair, but you don't take care of it so it looks like a rat's nest. Me: nothing. I was 12 years old.
The ones from parents and grandparents make me see red. I mean, there are heartless jerks in this world, but they DID make them. They are supposed to lov