35 Men Finally Get Answers To Their Most Burning Questions About Women That They Never Dared To Ask
Interview
There are so many things about the world that we’d love to learn. However, some topics are extremely sensitive. So people might feel extremely self-conscious or embarrassed to ask questions about them because they’ll show their ignorance, even if they’re curious. When folks are anonymous, however, they can feel a lot more comfortable doing this.
Redditor u/SlenderBacon449 started up an enlightening thread on r/AskReddit where they urged men to ask women all the things they’ve always wanted to but couldn’t. The women of Reddit, in turn, answered all of their questions. Scroll down to read what these redditors had to share. Their comments are informative. They’re educational. And you might learn something new even if you think you know everything there is to know.
Bored Panda wanted to learn why there are so many people who are ignorant about human biology and sex, so we reached out to Laurie Mintz, Ph.D., sexpert for LELO and the author of Becoming Cliterate. She was kind enough to answer our questions about why these knowledge gaps exist and shed some light on how grownups can get past feeling embarrassed when asking sensitive questions. Read on for our interview with her. Meanwhile, we also got in touch with the author of the thread, redditor u/SlenderBacon449.
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QUESTION: What are some things that contribute to a dead bedroom in a long term relationship and what might men do to resolve those issues? (Turn you on, make it more enjoyable for you, etc)
I just want everyone to feel sexually desired again.
ANSWER 1: A BIG problem for women is having to take care of the man, house, and responsibilities. If a woman has to nag or mother you, that's a turn off. If she has to pick up after you, do all the cooking, cleaning and grocery shopping, remind you of plans, remind you of appointments, ask you to do things without you knowing you should do them, or beg you to makes plans for once instead of saying "I don't care, what do you want to do?" you are heading for dead bedroom. If you treat her like a roommate or employee instead of someone you love, respect and appreciate, dead bedroom. If the only time you show her affection is when you are horny, she will resent you and dead bedroom.
- ZanzibarLove
ANSWER 2: Don’t ask her to make you a list of what she wants done to show you’ll “help” around the house. You are a grown-ass man living in a home. Assuming she’s got her hands full with a job or kids and isn’t sitting around waiting for nail polish to dry, open your eyes or do some research into what it takes to make a household run and just start carrying your own weight. If you’re a partner, you’re more than a helper.
- thayaht
We asked Dr. Mintz about why so many men seem to have knowledge gaps about sex and biology. She noted that the United States has a very poor sexual education system "where neither women nor men learn about women’s genital anatomy."
"Indeed, our sex education system often covers only women’s internal, reproductive anatomy and ignores sexual pleasure and response, especially among women. On top of this, movies and porn often perpetuate falsehoods about women’s pleasure, with women orgasming from intercourse alone commonly being shown," she explained to Bored Panda.
"The truth is that only a small percentage of women most reliably orgasm from penetration (4–18% depending on the study), and the rest need clitoral stimulation, either alone or coupled with penetration. However, without proper education or a woman telling a man this, there is very little chance he’d learn this on his own."
QUESTION: Basicaly all info about how their bodies work because f**k serious sex ed.
ANSWER: There are three holes. I mean, urethra, vagina and anus. Urethra is between the clit and the vaginal opening, it's very small and it's where the pee comes from. Vaginal opening is where dicks, sex toys and tampons go in, and also where period blood, discharge and babies come out from. Anus is... well, for pooping. Very similar to male anus but inserting something inside is usually less pleasurable for girls than for men who put things inside their butts - it's because we don't have prostate.
Menstrual cycle last about 28 days. It can be a bit shorter or longer, it's something individual, but yeah, about a month. Menstrual cycle is not the same as period. It's divided to phases. Period is just one of the phases and the first day of period is the first day of menstrual cycle. Period usually lasts 3-7 days, depends on girl. Then the other phase starts etc. I won't explain it more because as a non native speaker I simply lack proper vocabilary.
Some girls have painful period cramps. Some don't. Some don't really struggle with period and don't mind going to work or even do sports while on their period. Some girls become really sleepy and are unable to do anything else than lying in bed and crying from pain. You should never say anything like "You're exaggerating, my ex/friend/mom can do X on her period, don't be a crybaby".
Girls don't get wet only while horny. Our vaginas go more or less wet depending on the menstrual cycle phase. Also the texture of discharge changes during the cycle.
Clit is a little bump on the "front" of vulva, where the labia minora (inner lips) meeet. It can be hidden by a clitoral hood (something similar to a foreskin). Some girls have shorter hoods, so the clit is always visible. Some have longer hoods to the clit is hidden. Some girls have small inner labia and some girls have big "butterfly wings" that can make it less obvious to understand where the clit is in that particular girl. We all look different down there and if you can't find the clit, because your current partners vulva looks a lot different than your previous partners vulva, just ask the girl for her. You can put her hand on your hand and just ask "show me where" or "show me how you like it". It's okay.
Vaginas shouldn't smell like fish. If they do - it's a sign of infection. Don't believe the "smells fishy" jokes and avoid making them.
STDs are not always visible. Vulva can look perfectly fine but there can still be an infection going on. Asking your partner about their latest results is fine. Using an oral tissue (?) for oral sex (eating her out) is fine too! You can get STD from oral sex, so stay safe. You can make the tissue yourself from a condom. Cut off the top part (where the "sperm container"????? is), then cut down the length so you get a latex rectangle. Put it over her vulva and you can lick safely.
Having a period means that our body released an egg to fertilise but it didn't get fertilised so body is getting rid of it. Uterus was all like "Yeaaa we gonna be a mom!!!", so she made her walls soft and prepared for growing a baby but it didn't happen. Period is getting rid of the egg and also the special lining from uterus walls. It takes some time. We can't hold in the period or just "pee it out" on one sitting.
idk what else to add
- -acidlean-
That was a better, more accurate summary than 2 years of health class. Nicely done!
QUESTION: What to do when a period stain is showing and you seem oblivious to it?
ANSWER 1: Please tell her. I walked around all DAY in front of 10 guys because I was the only woman and they were all too afraid to tell me.
- uncreative-af
ANSWER 2: Honestly if I was in this situation, I would be so incredibly and pleasantly surprised if a guy not only came to tell me, but came with a solution. Like a hoodie to tie around my waist or a way provide me with some cover to lessen the embarrassment. I would remember that person gratefully forever, no joke.
- rebirth542
Meanwhile, we also wanted to get Dr. Mintz's thoughts on what could help grownups get past their feelings of embarrassment when asking questions on sensitive topics like sex.
"We live in a culture that bombards us with sexual images, but tells us very little scientifically accurate information about sex. We also get the message, either consciously or unconsciously, that sex is dirty, or taboo, or too private to discuss. However, I promise that it is easier to learn to talk about sex than it is to read minds (or vaginas!)," the expert said.
"And, the research is very clear: couples who communicate about sex have better sex. Also, in research, when asked what is most important to them during intercourse, not one woman mentioned penis size. They mention a partner that cares about their pleasure and makes that clear via communication."
QUESTION: I just wanna know how weird/unsafe women feel if a man is walking behind them in some silent area? Cause I have internal panic attacks thinking "omg is the woman ahead of me feeling uncomfortable" I usually just overtake them but sometimes overtaking might feel like a direct attack from behind so there's that worry too,, what would women prefer men do in such situations ☠️
ANSWER 1: A guy once called out to me, 'Not following you, I promise, just at a really awkward distance behind.' I appreciated that. Often our heads go into overdrive when we're alone, so giving us any kind of signal or message takes things out of potential panic mode. Also giving a lot of space while overtaking, so you're not right next to her as you pass, is reassuring.
- PersonalityLost5228
ANSWER 2: One night, I was super drunk walking home and saw a girl ahead of me that seemed worried about my presence. I didn't know what to do, so I pretended to call my girlfriend on the phone. She slowed the pace, and I was able to overtake her, but I stumbled in a very goofy way. I heard her chuckle behind me. It was a little embarrassing.
- mimortiseixecani
ANSWER 3: I was walking home from the bar one night, totally smashed, and I ended up basically following this gal for like four blocks, and it was starting to get weird because it was like 1 a.m., so drunk me just yelled, ‘Hey I’m walking home and kinda smashed, and we seem like we’re going in the same direction, but if you want me to walk in front so you can watch me and feel safer, that’s totally cool.’ She went from peeking over her shoulder to laughing. We ended up walking together for a few blocks, and turned out she lived two buildings away from me.
- Halomir
QUESTION: Do you want pockets in clothing?
ANSWER 1: Yes all of them
- Mondmim
ANSWER 2: ALL of them. Literally. Pockets in shirts, hoodies, sweaters, ALL pants, multiple pockets in pants, shorts, skirts, dresses, shoes, hell- put them in socks too why not? I. Want. Pockets.
- wheredMyArmourGo
Why do you think we put random stuff in our bras? Not enough pockets in the wardrobe :D
QUESTION: How do you remember that annoying thing we did that one time 6 years ago, why did you just bring it up?
ANSWER: Because it was deeply hurtful to me and you brushed it off or weren't completely honest with me about it. I know it and I want the whole truth, or I want you to acknowledge my feelings. Some combination of these things probably.
- J33P88
THIS. So accurate. We are bringing it up because it still nettles and want closure. Some kind of revisit where it isn't brushed off but is owned.
According to Dr. Mintz, the information about sexual communication and pleasuring women is out there, but you need to seek it from certified sex therapists instead of porn or movies.
"Great starting places are the books, She Comes First by Ian Kerner, Sizzling Sex by Michael Castleman, and the chapter written in my book, Becoming Cliterate, just for male partners. Indeed, published research shows that men who read the chapter written for them ('Cliteracy for Him') improve their knowledge of women’s genital anatomy and sexual pleasure, as well as their sexual communication skills. They also decrease their endorsement of harmful myths related to both women’s and men’s sexuality."
QUESTION: Do girls expect to be kissed? Like she’s dropping mad hints that she’s into me but I’m nervous to make a move over fear that it’s not what she wants
ANSWER: If you’re picking up hints but you’re not sure, I’d ask “can I kiss you?” as smoothly as possible and she’ll clarify whether that’s okay or not. If she’s offended by you asking for consent, she’s immature and that’s not on you.
- AnnoyinglyEarnest
I was on a 2nd date with a guy and we'd both had a really good time. He walked me to my car and asked if he could kiss me, but I said no. He was super sweet about it and even physically backed up. When we finally did kiss, it was great because I knew he'd respect my boundaries.
QUESTION: Do you guys like it when men show vulnerability?
ANSWER: YES YES YES! It’s important that we normalize men showing emotions and accepting that it’s okay to be vulnerable.
- HilariouslyGolden
I can't say that I 'like" it, it's not some kind of a show for you to enjoy, I just see it as a completely normal, human emotion, not inherently good or bad, it's just there.
QUESTION: What kind of common behavior makes a guy seem creepy or unattractive?
ANSWER 1: Asking sexual questions when you're not very close friends.
- ImproveOrEnjoy
ANSWER 2: Throwing too many compliments right off the hop. You can easily turn from a good, nice guy to a creep in less than five seconds.
- ItsCatWoman
ANSWER 3: I don't like when men are way too forward, way too fast. Like, hinting at sex or making sexual jokes at me when I've known you for four hours. And acting like they're entitled to my time, like if I don't respond within five minutes. The, 'OK, guess you're not interested,' response is major creep/red flag alert.
- Hyentics
ANSWER 4: Telling me to smile.
- rosecityrose0618
It's the sex jokes for me. Do I mind sex jokes from men I've known a long time or am close to? No. do I mind them from Some Bloke i met an hour ago? YEP. Gross.
Meanwhile, the author of the thread, redditor u/SlenderBacon449, was kind enough to share his thoughts on the topic as well. "I was first inspired to ask this question while I was talking to two of my friends and they started complaining about their periods, and as I sat there listening, I wondered why we guys didn’t know anything about periods or menstrual cycles. I was again inspired to ask when one of my guy friends was rejected by a woman for being 'too manly,'" he told Bored Panda.
"I didn’t understand what she meant and I eventually got to thinking about what women really want in a guy. Do they generally want a man to be tough or vulnerable? Maybe a little bit of both? I decided that I could knock out all these questions about women with a Reddit post so some women could educate some men on these topics, but I never expected the post to get that much attention!"
According to u/SlenderBacon449, guys lack understanding of women because "if you were to approach a woman, whether she’s a stranger or your girlfriend, and start asking her about periods and tampons and her taste in men, you would get some weird looks."
QUESTION: What can we safely compliment? Are all things related to appearance off limits?
ANSWER 1: Compliment things that are choices, not things that aren’t.
Pseudonymico
ANSWER 2: They're not off limits, but it's all about context and phrasing. Here are some good rules of of thumb:
Compliment what women wear instead of how they wear it.
Try mention things they chose and have control over.
Don't mention being attracted to something you've complimented them about.
- peppermint-latte
ANSWER 3: Don't compliment someone you work with on their body, it seems like you are hitting on them. Things that are off limits include "great legs", "that dress fits your body well", "you have a cute smile" etc. Can easily come off creepy.
Compliment them on something they chose e.g. "that haircut looks cool", "I like your earrings", "you have a great sense of style", "you are always in a happy mood, it brings the energy of the room up" etc.
- artificialnocturnes
QUESTION: Many women always smell pleasant. Like noticeably pleasant. In comparison, guys either smell bad or neutral. Is this an active choice to always smell good? Do you try to make yourself smell noticeably good all the time?
ANSWER: I think women's products in general have nicer smells. There's a popular joke about women's body products having scents like 'gentle mist of meadow,' 'tropical heavenly paradise,' and 'sparkling champagne dreams.' Meanwhile, men's are 'FROST. BLAST. SPORT. OIL CHANGE. GUN.
- GaimanitePkat
QUESTION: With periods is it a gush, a small leak, or more of a drip every so often?
ANSWER 1: All three. And sometimes, it's a clot, which feels like you're passing a hot slug through your orifice. Periods are fun.
- mycatisblackandtan
ANSWER 2: To give you a more in-depth answer, it depends on the woman AND the period. Contrary to popular belief, a period is not just a period. They can be easy, hard, heavy, painful, absent, light, etc. And most girls have different ones randomly. So, you'll usually bleed the same every cycle, but diet, stress, and hormones can alter it.
For most girls, the first two to three days are the heaviest. This means heavy flows, cramping, and gushing — this usually happens when you sit up or stand up after a long time in one position, and so the blood has pooled in the cervix or back of the vaginal canal and comes gushing forward or out. With tampons, you tend not to have this issue as much, if at all. The later days, it's just a trickle or flow again, but less blood overall.
- randominternetuser46
This morning I woke up, rolled over, and because my vagina is secretly an a*****e, suddenly my legs were covered with blood. Not sorry for the TMI because this is a normal body function. It’s just an annoying body function. Especially when you wake up in someone else’s bed 😅 (the bed-owner was really cool about it, he even tried to give me his own clothes to change into).
The OP said that, unfortunately, schools don't teach men about periods because it's assumed that they wouldn't need to know about them.
"Well, I think it’s important for men to know about these things because we need to be able to understand a woman’s struggle during that time of the month and help accordingly," he said.
"When it comes to important questions such as these, I think the best approach is to do as I did and ask the internet! Whether it’s just a Google search or going on a subreddit and asking the question yourself, the internet is our most valuable tool, if it’s just low-key curiosity or if you want to learn more about it," he pointed out that research is the best first step to learning more about biology and anatomy.
"It would be great if schools could help both genders understand each other better with a more expansive sex ed unit in school, but I doubt that will happen."
QUESTION: How do you hide your period pain so well?
ANSWER: You get used to it. Plus pain killers.
- dumbasspositive
QUESTION: Bro how do we become friends with yall. Theres some people I've only talked to a few times but I feel like we could have the dopest of friendships. Like no romantic stuff or couple stuff but like we can play smash bros all day
ANSWER 1: You'll be surprised how much we crave strictly platonic friendship with a guy, because most of the time men end up having ulterior motives. Just treat us like your friend, and
hope you don't get misunderstood.
- whispervesper
ANSWER 2: If she seems hesitant, you can just tell her outright that you're just looking for friendship. Also, inviting her to a group thing instead of one-on-one can help keep expectations platonic.
- peppermint-latte
I’ve found it’s bizarrely difficult to have a friendship with a guy without him eventually wanting more and/or misreading my attentive listening. I’ve managed it exactly once in my life, and he died of a brain tumor. I am really good friends with a guy who used to like me, so you can get past it, but…it’s tricky. And weirdly disappointing when “that moment” arrives.
QUESTION: why do some of you women lie about being upset?
like when i ask my gf whats wrong when she is clearly upset she usually says nothing. why?
ANSWER: Sometimes it’s because I know I shouldn’t be upset and really don’t want to be and don’t want to burden my partner with my annoying feelings. Sometimes it’s because I’m still mad and feel like stewing a little longer. Often it’s because I’ll cry if we get into the problem and I don’t want to lose the fragile illusion of control I’m fooling myself with lol.
- AutomaticCupcake33
Sometimes, and this is absolutely not shade on men here, sometimes I'm just not ready for the Solution Mode. men tend to want to fix problems, which is absolutely a good thing, but for me I need some time to sit with my Being Upset before I'm ready to express that upset and hear ideas on how to fix it. Having said that, my (male) BFF sometimes asks now "Are we fixing, or venting?". Vent, then fix!
Many of the questions that the men of Reddit asked had to do with women’s anatomies, periods, and relationship dynamics. These are questions that would be difficult to ask someone in person, unless they’re a very close and trusted friend.
Unfortunately, this ignorance about how women’s bodies work has profound negative effects on a global scale. Fortune notes that the gender health gap exists because the trials for drugs and medicine are mostly conducted on men. This leads to the overprescription of medicine to women which in turn has negative effects on their health.
“To this day, we don’t truly know how women metabolize and react to many medicines, why some adverse reactions are more common in women, nor how women experience or manifest pain. The efficacy, dosage, and side effects of many drugs were never tested on women,” Fortune writes.
On an individual level, there is nothing wrong with admitting that you might not know everything there is to know about women. Being humble, open-minded, and open to learning new things should be celebrated, not frowned upon. The women of Reddit answered the men’s questions without judging them for their knowledge gaps. If you shame someone for their ignorance, you only make them defensive, not keener to learn and improve.
QUESTION: As a single dad to an 11 year old daughter, what are some things I need to be knowledgeable of as she matures?
ANSWER 1: First I want to say that by you commenting on here and asking for advice your already doing GREAT!! But I would say How periods actually work, what products to use and when as well as just being there to openly communicate with. I know its hard but as someone with parents who never talked to her about things like this, I would've loved to have a parent like you. Best of luck to you!
Also I know this is random but as she gets older just remember its easier and better to have the condom/birth control talk rather than the "Dad I'm pregnant" talk
- irrevocably_an_olive
ANSWER 2: Always knock on her door and wait for her to grant access before opening the door!!! Such awkward moments can be avoided with a little respect for privacy.
- missvvvv
You'll probably want to take her to a store that does bra fittings once she starts developing. Just Google who does bra fittings.
QUESTION: I know this is going to seem weird but how do you guys control your pee stream? It’s easy as a guy but I’m not too sure it would be for a woman? Idk it’s a stupid question but i would be happy if I got an answer
ANSWER 1: Direction? No. Flow speed? Yes.
- MooshAro
ANSWER 2: One of the times I had to pee outside, I did the 'pre pee' to make sure I was angled right and all seemed fine. I upped the flow speed, the angle changed massively, and it was like a broken sprinkler. Thankfully, my shoes were waterproof.
- EmmaHatesTheBull**it
ANSWER 3:I think it’s the same pelvic floor muscles that men have. When you contract/relax your muscles to regulate your pee, it’s at the base, right? As in, you cut the flow off at the faucet, not at the end of the hose. Women just have a faucet, but no hose. You, too, can do Kegels to strengthen those muscles.
- ObliviousDirt
QUESTION: Do all ladies use tons of toilet paper or is it just the women ive dated?
ANSWER: Considering we’d need them for both pee, poop, and during periods, then yes
- carissadraws
My son uses half a roll in one sitting (and spends ages in the loo), so he uses much more than I do, lol.
Besides the fear of being judged, another thing that could explain these men’s knowledge gaps is sub-standard sex education at school and at home. It falls to teenagers’ teachers and parents to dispel any myths about reproduction, anatomy, and relationships.
If they fail to do that, the students will simply absorb any and all hearsay on these topics, whether they hear it in person or read about it on some weird internet forum. It’s best to tackle these topics in the classroom, without stigma or judgment. The long and short of it is that sex ed lessons need to be better: they need to be relatable and informative, not just detached and scientific.
One woman anonymously shared how sex education works in her country during an earlier interview with Bored Panda.
"They called away all the girls from classes, brought us to an auditorium to discuss periods and what they are, why they happen, what we should do. They gave us packets of pads and told us to keep them in our lockers for emergencies. Their heart was in the right place, but by only asking the girls to attend this, they ensured that periods became some sort of mythical and curious event in the minds of all the boys," she told us.
QUESTION: Why is it when we blush it's cute?
ANSWER 1: Because it indicates a capacity for strong feelings and someone who responds/reacts with healthy emotion.
- Mumique
ANSWER 2: Because it is a nice to see a man showing emotion of any kind
- Lalalelo94
Model consent. "Your hair is tangled, may I brush it?" is the expectation you want to model, not "sit down, I am going to deal with your hair." Help build her voice to listen and expect physical autonomy and to provide consent.
QUESTION: How did you deal with going from looking like a child to getting sexual attention in a rather short period of time? Did you expect it?
ANSWER 1: I first was sexually harassed by strangers at 12 years old, before I knew anything about it. I was a child, and looked it. I don't mean to be a 'negative Nancy,' but it's very prevalent, and almost everyone I've talked to has a similar story. Sometimes even younger.
- LemonBoi523
ANSWER 2: Girls receive sexual attention before they understand what it is. We have to catch up mentally to what is happening. When you're too young to understand, it can feel nice to get attention, especially as boys tend to get more attention at school up to that point. But as you learn to understand why you're getting the attention, what those men actually want, and how little you could do to stop them if they decide to just take action, it becomes frightening.
- Alex9Andy
ANSWER 3: The second I turned 18, I had several guys in their late 20s trying to hook up. There is no mental switch that happens between 11:59 and 12:00 on your birthday, and it was really hard to process the fact that it wasn’t a pedophilic situation because in my head, I honestly still felt 14. I wish 18 wasn’t viewed as completely fair game for everyone.
- maddies12
QUESTION: Is it true a woman actually keeps at least two pairs of granny panties? I was told every woman at least does
ANSWER: I know I have some older ugly underwear for shark week. They aren't tight on your bloated stomach and if they get stained it doesn't matter
- Nouveaucola
"[The boys] were not educated, they remained ignorant to what should be essential information to them. And of course, we all scrambled to hide our pads because we all thought we would rather be caught dead than holding a packet of them. They teased us about it and we, being only 11, had nothing to say to defend ourselves because the stigma around periods is very strong in my country."
In some cultures, there are incredibly deep stigmas surrounding periods. "I have friends whose own parents make them sit on mats on the floor when they are on their periods because they are considered impure and should not touch anything in the house," the woman told us earlier.
"Some women aren't allowed to enter the kitchen or the prayer room, they're not allowed to leave the house. A majority of women in my country have no access to pads or tampons and use cloth which causes infection and prevents them from being able to earn a living. I could go on and on about how bad it is here for a lot of women," she said.
"There's no shame in it if you're 30 and have misconceptions about periods. It is sad that you may not have educated yourself about it, but there's absolutely no shame in asking women to educate them or to start reading online themselves. Sex ed is so important.”
QUESTION: Do you randomly get sexually aroused in public for no reason at all like men? And if so, does it die down quickly?
ANSWER 1: Yes to random arousal. It depends on the situation for how fast it dies down. Sometimes, I get randomly horny at work and then just sit there and fantasize about raunchy things. It takes longer to die down that way.
- biwaterbender
ANSWER 2: It's not an issue because we don't get erections, but it's a bit awkward when my p*ssy has a heartbeat. Our genitalia can get swollen when we're really aroused, so there is more blood down there, just like more blood in an erect penis. And it throbs, like a heartbeat.
- -acidlean-
QUESTION: The good Ole classic question. Does size matter?
ANSWER 1: Yes. Too big is a letdown for me. Eliminates more than half of positions, intensity, and how hard I can go. That being said, I would not break up with a wonderful man just because of his d*ck size.
- tcatt1212
ANSWER 2: No. Different strokes for different folks. The right size is the one where both of you have the best sex.
- Additional-Winner-45
Too big is painful and unpleasant. You hit my cervix and it's awful. I'd rather work with a smaller penis than a large one, to be fair.
QUESTION: Do your guys' backs actually hurt if you have big... you know.
ANSWER: Mine does. Went from a C cup to an F cup in 6 months (on hormones for a gynecological condition). My back is so sore now! Properly fitting bras help a lot though.
- RobotEarsStandBy
QUESTION: Do you have "crushes" on random people you encounter that you don't really see anything developing with? Like someone you see every day but don't really talk to for whatever reason?
I don't mean in a creepy way, I mean, like, "my barista is insanely hot and I fantasize about him even though absolutely nothing is going to happen because of [several very important reasons]."
I assume this happens but have always wondered if it's more common with men.
ANSWER 1: Absolutely! This happened to me back in college when I developed a crush on a classmate and daydreamed of dating him. I also have friends who randomly call me about encounters with attractive strangers.
- azuari
ANSWER 2: There's an older handsome guy in my neighborhood who rides a motorcycle. I do not know him; I know nothing about him. I sometimes find myself saying, 'Hi daddy,' when he rides by. That's not even something I say! One day, he had a lady on the back of his bike and I thought, Who's this bitch? I'm not a jealous person at all. I don't know where this impulse came from.
- KikiHou
I teach in college and sometimes have a mild crush on one of my older students. Totally not allowed or going to do anything about it, but it makes me look forward to the class. What can I say? I like men and I teach at a technical college, and some guys are just good-looking.
QUESTION: How uncomfortable is it to wear a tampon? How do you know when you have to change it? Do you get some internal sensation that lets you know when it's time to replace it? Do you time it? How do you know?
ANSWER 1: "If you feel a tampon after insertion, something is wrong. The rest is trial and error, but you can't wear a tampon longer than eight hours. Most of my friends make that six hours or less to be safe."
- whatevernamedontcare
ANSWER 2: "It's only uncomfortable if it's dry; you can tell it's time to change a tampon by how squishy it feels inside. Sometimes we get it wrong. I've thought I needed to change my tampon before, but when I went to tug on the strings it hurt because it was too dry still, so you leave it."
- ItsCatwoman
ANSWER 3: "You also tend to change it if it's leaking or when you poop."
- spasamsd
As a girl, I also wanted to know the answer to these questions. I use pads because I’m too scared to put a tampon or a cup in and it gives me this weird sensation each time I think of it that makes me shudder
It takes a while to get comfortable with doing it, but with practice it does get easier and easier. Tampons will be a lot easier than cups. Cups are quite 'advanced level' and taking them out is the hardest bit of all.
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It also can hurt if you haven't inserted it far enough, which is a common problem the first time you try using tampons.
No offense ladies, but I'm glad I'm a guy when it comes to periods. I've known women who have to basically isolate themselves for a few days due to Aunt Flo.
Yes, it slightly hurts when too dry. As far as I'm concerned, I can feel bubbles of air coming out before it starts to leak, so that's when I know it's time to change within the next 20 minutes. I find that very convenient. Also sometimes I wear it longer than 8 hours, mostly during the night.
You can just tell when it starts to leak. (I HATE that feeling! Drip, drip, drip...) Otherwise you shouldn't notice it.
Same here. I never was able to not pee on the string and not for lack of trying.
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I have never liked using tampons. For some reason they just felt uncomfortable. Pads aren't any better, especially if you have a heavy flow, but at least I don't have that weird feeling thing in my vagina LOL TMI?
My step mother has a "banana uterus." And can't conceive, or wear tampons. Tampons suck. They aren't workable for everyone.
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I always wore a pad or panty liner, just to be safe against leaks.
I always used tampons. There are many times I've had them just fall out (in the toilet) because they were full. There are different sizes we can use to feel more comfortable. Just don't wear a large one expecting it to last for hours. Toxic shock syndrome is real.
I've never been able to use them consistently. The old adage "if it's uncomfortable then you're doing it wrong" isn't always true; they arent really comfortable for me and never have been. I use them as a last resort. It takes a bit of practice and knowledge of how your body works and where everything is to get it in the proper place. Even after all that, it just might not be for you. Luckily we have many choices these days in how we deal with our periods.
I can't wear tampons. They ALWAYS leak, even on my lightest days, even without athletic movement. I think it's something about the way I'm shaped. I used to be a ballet dancer, and I would have to wear a tampon AND a wingless pad inside my tights on period days, and I would STILL get faint blood marks on my tights!
What you use is personal preference. I've used pads for years. Think I have a mild allergy to the tampons as they always cause some degree of inflammation. 1st will be fine. Try to change it and struggle to get next one in so need to go back to pads. Once actually paused my period for a day so after that stopped using them. Now I switch between pads and a cup.
I want to know (I'm female, to clarify, but I do not use tampons): why it is called "wearing" a tampon when it is not ON a body part? Wearing a condom I can understand because it is on a body part, but tampons go IN, not ON a body part. I have wondered about this since I went through puberty, around 28 years ago. I know I'm nitpicking this, but still. I like accuracy.
Storytime. When Sally Ride was scheduled for a 5 day shuttle mission, her time was going to happen. NASA engineers were clueless as to supplies, and asked her if 100 tampons would be enough.
I guess I've never experienced the squishy tampon sensation. I can't tell anything is in there at all, I just have to check once in a while to make sure it's not leaking, which usually takes a while.
I'm perimenopausal and have used tampons most of my adult life until switching to a cup for a few years but am now back with tampons but they're getting increasingly uncomfortable. No idea why, I'm not dry, not when I'm on my period and I have issues with insertion but it's definitely a thing now. I only use them during my heaviest days now.
QUESTION: ...what do u guys think about curved d***s....im kinda insecure and want to know if it's a turn off or not...?
ANSWER: Honestly it might look different at first but a curved penis hits spots that uncurved cannot. Which can be a wonderful thing.
- diabolicsoap393
QUESTION: Do women really notice everything? I remember the things that me and my father never used to notice, my mom used to notice. Also do women have some kind of superpower to differentiate colours?
ANSWER 1: Trust a woman when she says colors don’t match. We have significantly more cones (the cells that detect color) than rods (cells that detect light/dark) than men do. Men are naturally better are seeing in the dark than women.
- lovelabradors373
ANSWER 2: women are socialized to notice everything. we're supposed to have super powers and read moods and make sure everybody is doing okay, notice any little change in mood so that we can comfort it. we're supposed to notice as soon as the glass is empty so we can refill it... therefore, we are hyper aware of every time you take a sip.
It's really quite annoying being the person who notices things. I've definitely left relationships because of it.. not because I was noticing, but because they took advantage of it. Rather than doing the extra work to give 50%, they would just say that I noticed it naturally anyway so I might as well take care of those things.
- anonymous
We also have a better sense of smell. One day, my female coworkers and I smelled gas while the maintenance men could not. And since they did not, nothing was done about it. 😷
QUESTION: When using bathroom and you see your pad is slightly soiled, does it feel awkward having to put it back against you body?
ANSWER 1: Yes. You also suddenly feel hyper aware of the wet, soggy feeling of expelled blood being pushed back up against your bits.
- Lalalelo94
ANSWER 2: If it's a longer trip to the bathroom, everything is cold and wet when you pull up your pants. One of my least favorite sensations. I typically wipe at the pad with a piece of toilet paper before pulling my pants back up to help prevent this from happening.
- SpookySeraph
Long time since I used a pad other than a liner so I don't remember exactly what it felt like except that it was uncomfortable when you felt it was soggy and weren't sure if it was leaking out. Using tampons and then later a menstrual cup was such a game changer because I can just put it in and almost forget about it until it is full. In fact when the flow is less, I do forget about the cup a lot.
QUESTION: When a bulge is visible through shorts or sweatpants, do women find that attractive or disgusting?
ANSWER: Depends, if it’s my boyfriend I find it attractive, if it’s random men on the street or on tiktok then I find it cringey and gross
- KillMeNow0913
QUESTION: How do girls with those long acrylic nails wipe themselves clean in the bathroom?
ANSWER 1: As a woman, I would also like to know the answer to the burning question.
- ElodyDubois
ANSWER 2: As someone who had long nails and had to take out contacts, you learn to use your finger pads rather than your nails or finger tips. It's about angle and pressure.
- rivlet
I've never understood or liked the long fingernail thing, I recall it dates to some chinese tradition of showing that you don't do manual work, something like that...
QUESTION: When you are nearing the time of the month, can you feel it coming?
ANSWER: Sort of. I can feel pain that signals I'd better prepare.
- stolenourhearts
QUESTION: Do women put deodorant in their boob pits?
ANSWER 1: Or powder of some sort, yes. My underboobs sweat a lot.
- toxic_pantaloons
ANSWER 2: I do not, but I don’t have extremely large breasts. If your boobs are big enough to hang against your skin, it might make sense to wear powder or something to be more comfortable.
- emilaurapricot
I have never heard the term boob pits before and I am immediately adding it to my vocabulary.
QUESTION: When you're platonic friends with a man, do you want to be treated exactly how he treats his male friends (in terms of tone, the inside jokes, and the way time is spent), or is there an expectation to be treated differently as a woman?
ANSWER 1: I just want to be approached naturally, and not much differently than you would approach a male friend. In my personal experience though, I do expect more boundaries when it comes to sex jokes or physical contact. Otherwise, please treat a female friend like any other friend and respect what she says she is comfortable with.
- azuari
ANSWER 2: I tell men that are struggling with women that they should treat women like they're there friends gf or something like that. I know plenty of guys that are great friends with a number of women cause in their heads those women are off the table for one reason or another. The second there's a possibility of dating or sex involved they are incapable of acting like normal humans. It's crazy to me.
- CrossXFir3
If you relate to your male friends with a lot of roughhousing, then probably not that aspect. If you make a lot of misogynistic jokes with your male friends, even if you claim you are doing it "ironically", then... I don't want to be your friend.
QUESTION: Ok I go to the gym and see women wear these sports bras that have like 10 straps. While I think that is a cool style I wonder how they put it on and not get tangled in the straps!?
ANSWER 1: Totally get tangled in them sometimes, but you initially kind of bunch them together.
- peppermint-latte
ANSWER 2: I hold all the straps with my thumbs, stick my head through, and hope for the best.
- missnikkibabyyy
I just don't wear them, if it's not a problem, you don't have to find a solution.
QUESTION: This might've been asked previously but are manboobs a dealbreaker? I'm not unfit per se, I do workout regularly but I also love food and work a desk job. So I have a dad bod and some manboobs(prob a medical condition).
Or is confidence in your body the key with women?
ANSWER 1: Manboobs are fine, just not bigger than mine... Lol
- spookypinkchic
ANSWER 2: Doesn't matter a lot to a lot of women. But how it affects you does have a huge impact. If you let it knock your confidence then yeah it will affect your chances. A lot of women just want to be accepted for themselves as they are, not perfect and not looking to be pressured to be. Those women generally extend the same curtesy to partners
- rubygood
To the OP, I’ve had gynecomastia since puberty and was WILDY self conscious about it for years. Like you, I worked out and stayed lean to keep my chest from being too ‘breast like.’ I said for years that as soon as I had the money I’d have a reduction. Fast forward a ten years and I realized a few things. 1. Every man, has some form of breast tissue that is amplified when they gain weight. 2. No woman had ever mentioned or noticed my chest. Fast forward another ten years and I’m have found myself married to a wonderful woman who supported my decision to have a reduction if I wanted one, but she didn’t care either way. I’m 42 now and barely think about this thing that used to plague my every thought. What I have learned is this, it’s called being self conscious for a reason. It’s in your head. It was when I stopped caring about my chest that I realized that I was the only one who cared in the first place. I hope that helps you find some peace one day.
QUESTION: I'm kind of an outdoorsman. I love everything outdoors. I live in the woods, I love fishing, I love hiking, and I love camping. I like country music, and I play the guitar. I asked a girl out in February, but she said I was "too simple".
Am I too simple? Maybe I should go from cowboy hat to ball cap
ANSWER: Not at all. Not every woman is the same, you just found one that wasn’t compatible with you and your lifestyle.
- purpleprincess96
It's weird how common that thought process is, "One woman said she doesn't like hiking, should I give up hiking?" Nope, just remember women are actually not a hivemind and we all enjoy different stuff.
QUESTION: What do all of you women talk about in the bathroom? When you all leave together for a couple minutes, we're left in mystery.
ANSWER: Most of the time it's nothing important. We just continue the conversation that was happing before we went in. Like no joke, I literally went with friends to go to the bathroom, and the only thing we talked about was pretzels.
- allyssa_the_scarcrow
QUESTION: Do you prefer dad bods, full-on jacked muscles, or jacked but not too jacked?
ANSWER 1: I like healthy-looking guys. Personally, I find jacked guys unattractive. I feel like it mainly impresses other guys. It's not pleasant getting hugged; it's like a rock wall. Honestly, if you like a guy, you think his body is hot, even if maybe others don't.
- Nouveaucola
ANSWER 2: Toned but cuddly if that makes sense. Like definition but with a little padding on top.
- my_only_outlet
Dad bod for me, but as with anything - the answer depends on the woman, just as some blokes like a bigger woman, and some like toned and some like...
QUESTION: For those of you who have and wear them: What the f**k on EARTH makes you think fake eyelashes are even REMOTELY attractive?
ANSWER: If they're subtle, you legit can't even tell they're fake. The flashier ones are worn because the woman likes the look and doesn't care if others find it attractive. Even if she does care about looking attractive, people are attracted different things. Some people are totally into it even if you aren't.
- peppermint-latte
Key word here being "attractive". He's first assuming that she is wearing them to make herself more attractive to others. And then he again assumes that the attraction she is allegedly seeking must be his own. Naturally. What lies inside the boundaries of "attractive" is different from one individual to another.
QUESTION: For women with pierced nipples, if you get pregnant and start lactating, does the milk also come out through the piercing holes?
ANSWER: It can. Most women take their piercings out because it can be choking hazard, and then the piercing hole heals up very quickly. Also, milk comes out of several ducts at the nipple, not just one hole!
- AliceDeeTwentyFive
QUESTION: Do women prefer men to be open and direct about their intentions when dating or is there necessity for nuance, subtle signals and such? Like for instance, is it better for men when getting to know a woman they are interested in to say “Hey I like you. I’d love to take you out on a date sometime.” versus being nice and kind of playing a game where both parties try to figure out if the other person likes them. Probably not the best wording but I hope it’s clear enough to understand the idea of what I’m asking.
ANSWER 1: Clarity is generally better, although I'm certain there are women out there who prefer the back and forth and trying to figure it out. I'd always prefer it if someone made their intentions clear — that way there's no room for accidentally leading anyone on or missing signals.
- Heya-Its-Me-Imoen
ANSWER 2: Clarity is always preferred, but maybe filter intensity. I like knowing where we stand; I like knowing your intentions and that it isn't just me. I don't like knowing that after four dates you're falling in love.
- CantChooseAFandom69
ANSWER 3: I always thought I preferred men to give me subtle hints instead of being open and direct about their intentions. I found it more fun that way, or at least I thought. And then I met my fiancé, who was very direct about what he wanted. After our first date, he said “I really like you and I would like to see where this goes” followed by “Just so you know, I don’t date to fuck. I date to marry.” I have never been more attracted to somebody before after hearing those words. The maturity and the confidence almost made me orgasm right then and there.
- Jokakuka
She's joking about the orgasm. She's likely saying she felt really turned on and attracted to him in that moment of honesty
QUESTION: How soon should a guy call after asking for your number?
ANSWER 1: Next day.
- mcrfreak78
ANSWER 2: Unpopular opinion but I don’t mind if I get a text a little while later that day. Actually calling seems like something to do when you make it official. Maybe that’s just me because I see phone calls as an inconvenience. The next day rule would bug the crap out of me. If I was interested in you I would want you to text me later after I gave you my number.
- NameNobodyTook
QUESTION: So vaginal wetness is linked with arousal and increases the more aroused you are. Does that also increase with how attracted you are to the other person or is it touch and stimulation from them?
ANSWER: I want to say that you can be very aroused and still not get very wet. Sometimes your body doesn't really cooperate. For me it's a huge difference depending on my cycle. The most fertile days are... interesting. But the rest of the time the wetness is disappointing, haha.
- Deny_Everything_21
ANSWER: Why when I get excited about a subject I'm passionate about, I sometimes get accused of mansplaining? Sometimes I just really like a subject and want to talk about it. I'm not being a d**k, I just suck at social cues and unfortunately most guys suck as well.I totally get the anger about the patriarchy and all that. I just really like birds and bugs.
ANSWER 1: It sometimes does come down to social cues. I think the best thing to do is to not dominate the conversation, but check in with them. For example, instead of talking about birds for 10 minutes, check in and volley the conversation — ask them if they are interested in birds, what their favorite bird is, etc. That way it is more of a conversation than a lecture.
- artificialnocturnes
ANSWER 2: Ask us, before you go off, how much we know. Or say something like, 'Tell me if you already know any of this,' so they won't feel as weird telling you, and you can just skip to the next point you were going to say.
- chexxmex
QUESTION: Do women get the pee shiver? I know sometimes I’ll be pissing and there’s an uncontrolled shiver as I’m finishing up. Does that happen with women at all?
ANSWER 1: Yup. I didn’t know that happened with men, too.
-caIyps0o
ANSWER2: Your body shivers to make up for the loss of heat. That's why you shiver more when you pee more.
- themitchk
QUESTION: How often do y'all wash your Bra?
ANSWER 1: The ones I wear occasionally? Pretty much after wearing it.
My favourite 2? Hardly ever. Can’t risk having them out of rotation.
- MarsWater5
ANSWER 2: Everyone's different.
I usually wear my bras 2 days maximum only if I didn't sweat in them or else I wear a different one every day and I wash them all at the end of the week.
- Hey_u_ok
QUESTION: How comfortable are bras ? Do you think it would be better if u had one that was customized to your eh how do u say it ( boob shape ) ? If yes how much better would that be on a scale of 1 to 10
ANSWER: I well fitted bra can feel like you're not wearing anything at all, unfortunately those are rare and expensive. Also, your body changes constantly. If you're on your period, your breasts might become larger and painful so your usual bra might not be comfortable.
I think this is why a lot of women opt for sports bras! It's easier, and you don't need to be measured regularly and have to buy loads of bras.
A customised bra would be amazing, preferably one that adjusted to any changes.
- Heya-Its-Me-Imoen
QUESTION: Do you guys fart in front of each other the way most guys do?
ANSWER: Only if you're that comfortable enough to do so with each other. Majority don't but there's some that do. Sisters will definitely do. Friends depends.
- Hey_u_ok
With my sisters from other misters definitely! That's how we show we care enough to be "ugly" with you
QUESTION: Do the majority of women out there prefer a man with a deeper voice?
ANSWER 1: From me and all my friends, yes. But we all agree that the voice can’t be too deep. Like there is a certain tone that’s just...perfect.
- EggCake258
ANSWER 2: My first boyfriend and I had the same voice. I was more fine with it than he was.
- Fabulous_Parking66
For me it's not necessarily a deeper voice. I like a certain warmth and also confidence to it.
QUESTION: If you’re on your period and swim in the ocean are you at all worried that you’ll have a little leak and the smell of blood will attract sharks. Because I would be.
ANSWER: I've never thought about it but I personally don't like swimming in any wild body of water which something can attack me from the dark depths.
- anonymous
Answer: Yes, I have thought of that and hoped for it...occasionally I will wade through families playing, leaving my mark, then sit on the shoreline and wait for the carnage.
QUESTION: Why is there an overabundance of pillows everywhere? Couches, beds. I get having one or two for comfort. But I've seen women with 5+ pillows.
ANSWER: For me, it's mostly for added and flexible comfort. In my bedroom, I have different pillows for different places and sleeping positions — large ones for sleeping, smaller for the neck when sitting up, or between the knees when sleeping, etc.
On the couch, I have them to put behind my neck, on my lap, to prop things up, for sitting on the floor by the coffee table, lying sideways, or just snuggling one for warmth while watching a movie. You'll always find a use.
Also, it looks good.
- helpmewhyamistillup
I feel that more than two pillows on your bed is an American thing. But that's because everybody around me said it is, nobody does that but it keeps coming back in movies. Maybe it's just a movie thing? Pillows on the couch are a thing. Suddenly the weather changes, your mood changes and you want things to be different. You go to a cheap store, buy cheap pillows, a candle and maybe another blanket and your whole livingroom seems different. This happens every 6 months and the pillows build up. Not even counting all the times when my friends gave me pillows. Hi, my name is Nemo and I have a pillow problem.
QUESTION: What's with all the plushies?
ANSWER: SO SOFT! That material they're made of is so nice on the fingertips.
- Union_of_Onion
They are comforting, I am sure men have had stuffed animals when there were kids and found comfort in them. Girls as well, however, I think there is less social pressure on girls to give them up as they grow older. I think also in some way they are like "babies" so we can subconsciously exercise those nurturing muscles we have.
QUESTION: Does someones job or profession change how attractive you find him?
ANSWER 1: Not the specific job per se, but more whether they have passion, dedication, or interest in it. I don’t care what people do for a living, and sometimes it’s cool to hear about their day. But if someone’s complaining about feeling like they’re in a dead-end job that they’re just half-assing every day but won’t do anything about the situation, then that's a total turn-off.
- ReineTek
ANSWER 2: As with most things, it depends on the woman honestly. If you’re into status, then yes you would definitely want someone with a high status job. If you plan on not working, same thing.
Myself and most of my girl friends are all career-oriented with advanced degrees, in jobs that are high status or high earning/high potential earners. I haven’t noticed that it matters as much for my group. We all have partners with interesting jobs and hobbies, but none of us sought men in specific fields of work. And several of us are the breadwinners to spouses with interesting and important but lower paying jobs.
- Art_Cooking_Fun
I love meeting people who had interesting and positive outlooks about their work. Passion goes a long way. A lawyer who hates his job is less appealing than a call center employee who legitimately enjoys helping customers, regardless of their horrible boss.
QUESTION: Women, when I walk past you would you prefer that I acknowledge you or ignore you completely?
ANSWER 1: Depends, is it a dark alley at night?
- stolenourhearts
ANSWER 2: Personally, I would prefer that you not acknowledge because I don’t like interacting with strangers on the street. I probably wouldn’t acknowledge you and I don’t like the peer pressure I feel to make eye contact with strangers who are trying to say hi to me. But that’s just me. Others may feel differently based on their personalities or the culture of where you are located.
- Lovewilltearusapart0
QUESTION: Do women like booty on guys ? (I go to gym and don't wanna have a big butt)
ANSWER1: I LIKE THE CAKE BABYYYYY 🍑 it just can’t be bigger than mine
- maxxii20
ANSWER 2: It’s not something I look for particularly but I think a dude with a pretty flat a*s is not my thing for whatever reason.
- Upper-Experience-850
QUESTION: Gay waiter here. Girl, your adult boyfriend has had his headphones on the entire time you have been here (this happens constantly). From what I have picked up you’re about to graduate with a degree in nursing and he is…..working on his music career? Girl, do you literally not understand how much better you are then this? For Christ’s sake, he ordered a well done burger with only ketchup! Girl what the hell are you doing?!
ANSWER: Lmao, is this my sister in law?! Because she’s been a nurse for over 10 years and actually married this type of dude. She likes to “fix things” and never got the hint that he still doesn’t want to be fixed. She’s way too good for him, but I honestly think that he’s broken her down enough mentally to believe that she can’t live without him. So, there’s that.
- missnikkibabyyy
QUESTION: I’m no man of Reddit but need to ask other girls/women so. Do any of u have inverted nipples? Like I only found out I have them the other week cos I thought it was normal and my brain is scrambled cos idk how common it is
ANSWER: I don't, but I work as a breastfeeding educator. About 1 in 10 women have inverted nipples.
- Opposite_Door5210
QUESTION: Like. Why are women mean in general to other women.
You’ll never see a man go, “That B***h” just for nothing. But I’ve seen women behave like that in general with each other. I really find that difficult to understand.
Apologies if I’ve offended anyone. I come with absolute peace.
ANSWER: I feel like that is a generalisation. Competitive or insecure women will do that, but not all. On the flip side; Unfortunately women act differently around other women than around men, so maybe a women calling another women a bitch is because when there's no men around to act nice in front of they are truely a bitch. Sadly guys don't often see it
- Nouveaucola
QUESTION: I know women like confidence, but are there any women that don't? I'm not a confident person, not just because of insecurities, it's just my nature, I don't think I've ever been certain of anything in my life. I can fake confidence easily, I've been doing it for years, but I don't want to feel like I have to fake myself around someone I really care about, so how common are women that like unconfident guys?
ANSWER: I think that it's not so much a confidence that matters so much as a basic level of self-respect and not being a doormat.
- peppermint-latte
macho over confidence can be a turn off if all the time. fluctuation is nice because they don't attention seek all the time yet can stand up with a backbone when necessary. its endearing really.
QUESTION: After reading the topic... and actually having some pretty close friends that are women. (So now I honestly question myself why I never asked about this before) there's two questions that I wonder about.
One being the infamous friend zone. There's countless stories where the situation basically comes down to somebody wanting a boyfriend that is exactly like a friend she has. But it can't be that friend somehow. I've never really understood that one. Could one of you explain it in a bit?
The other being that sometimes you just to vent frustration. And as guys we typically want to offer solutions and fix things. Often times it results in where we have to kind of ask if you want to vent, or have a solution. But it seems the majority of time you only want to vent, leaving the situation the same. Is there any reason why you seem to want to leave the situation the same so often?
ANSWER: The friend zone question is.. I get why your asking but honestly a lot of men are friends ‘until I can f**k you’ kind of friends. Makes it hard (and super frustrating) to have/trust that you have actual friends that just want to hang.
And the second question - we often know the answer/solution, just need to vent it out. Asking if they want to vent or have a solution is a really good question.
- MarsWater5
QUESTION: Do you gal's enjoy going to the shops for like hours at a time, trying stuff on and looking at things you have no intention on buying? Do you get tired? Does it relax you or is it just for fun mostly? Do you prefer your SO to come or your friend/s?
ANSWER 1: I loathe and detest shopping so much, i can’t begin to describe to you how much I hate it. I gotta know what I want and a pretty direct path in the shop to its location. I use to give a friend my bra size and she would go shop around and get them for me. Ugh, f**king hate it.
- ShinyS**tScaresMe
ANSWER 2: I think it's super fun. We hang out, get food, try on cute clothes and sometimes buy them. It is tiring though. Online shopping is way easier
- chexxmex
Depends on how much time and money you have for shopping, and how many chores and other things that need to be done await you at home. Also matters with whom you are. I hardly go shopping for clothes in real stores now. Mostly ordering online. But sometimes when I go to shopping events with friends who like the same clothes it's fun and usefull - someone to help find another size, to suggest clothing, to help decide if the pile of clothes you want to keep is too big. It would depend if my SO likes shopping and giving his opinion or if he sits and sighs and waits for me to be done. So it's a money, personal, time thing imo.
QUESTION: Why the obsession with height? What's the magic in 6ft tall?
ANSWER: A lot of us like our partners to be taller than us but there is a limit. If you're so tall that we barely cross your waist then usually there is a drop off.
I'd say 3-5 inches taller is where a lot of girls like it
- Natasha_T
QUESTION: Are bi men a turnoff or turnon?
ANSWER: I agree it’s neutral for me. I feel like bi men might be more understanding about lgbt/womens/poc issues since they are also a minority, so I would probably lean towards bi since they might have similar experiences to me and can understand.
- MorgueMousy
i like this. many of the questions asked were thoughtful; most answers attempted to be general enough to encompass the experience for most women. But that Friend Zone question was....super cringey and felt like a Nice Guy™️ asked it..
I liked the wording of the men - very respectful. The honest answers were lovely and I think that most men can learn something. Great for the younger generation too.
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We were raised to just talk to a person if we were curious about so emerging that they would know the answer to. I never understood the “fear” of asking. That lady at the store I saw as a kid sniffing the boxes of strawberries taught me that, “If they smell ripe, they’re ripe. If they have no smell, they’re not ready and have no flavor.” Never would have known if I hadn’t just asked. Same goes for relationships. I like the person, so I tell them. If they’re into playing games and acting immature about it? I know right away I dodged a bullet.
If a man is walking behind me I always step to the side, face sideways, and let him pass. Gets rid of all the awkward.
Very good explanations from women but the questions...it's like the men are still asking for women to confirm that women are human and must be treated as a dignified human being.
I like these kind of questions! The answers can teach so much to men, other women, very young girls, even old generation women who haven''t had the chance to live many of these things.
I wish this had been on the curriculum 45 years ago. This is the most useful article ever, well done to whoever devised it. Sorry ladies, but we just don't get taught this stuff, so don't expect us to know.
I loved the "it is less awkward to have the safe sex/condim talk than the dad I'm pregant talk. I know a few women who better take this to heart as well. About the question if women remark more than men? No, not always, I generally don't notice if someone had a haircut for instance (unless they are suddenly a redhead or a significant change in cut/length).
Also, for the question about why we say we’re fine when we clearly aren’t, sometimes I’m just too tired to explain. Or I feel like it won’t do any good to explain because it won’t change anything or might start an argument/upset you because I’m not in a headspace to word things nicely
There's also the classic "I know you will dismiss this as nothing or think I'm overreacting when it's actually really important to me, so I'm keeping quiet to avoid that confrontation"
Load More Replies... It's WONDERFUL to ask all these questions! Men and women. Communication is everything and this is such a great start. Here's hoping everyone asks their important questions and everyone can learn from each other. And I LOVE personal questions . . . I ALWAYS get the answers right!
Loved this. Real questions from guys looking for straight answers. And I think most got what they were looking for. This should be done once a month, especially since sex Ed is being eliminated in so many states. Let's cut politics out and just talk to each other.
This was helpful and informative! I have a question about bar behavior - twice in my life I have had a woman drop an unwrapped tampon into my beer (once in Billings, MT and once in Seattle), they both said the same thing that it seemed funnier in their head. Is this a common occurrence? or am I just a 'strange attractor'?
That's... odd. Maybe they were drunk and were curious about how much liquid it would hold? But honestly, it's rude. That's all.
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i like this. many of the questions asked were thoughtful; most answers attempted to be general enough to encompass the experience for most women. But that Friend Zone question was....super cringey and felt like a Nice Guy™️ asked it..
I liked the wording of the men - very respectful. The honest answers were lovely and I think that most men can learn something. Great for the younger generation too.
Load More Replies... We were raised to just talk to a person if we were curious about so emerging that they would know the answer to. I never understood the “fear” of asking. That lady at the store I saw as a kid sniffing the boxes of strawberries taught me that, “If they smell ripe, they’re ripe. If they have no smell, they’re not ready and have no flavor.” Never would have known if I hadn’t just asked. Same goes for relationships. I like the person, so I tell them. If they’re into playing games and acting immature about it? I know right away I dodged a bullet.
If a man is walking behind me I always step to the side, face sideways, and let him pass. Gets rid of all the awkward.
Very good explanations from women but the questions...it's like the men are still asking for women to confirm that women are human and must be treated as a dignified human being.
I like these kind of questions! The answers can teach so much to men, other women, very young girls, even old generation women who haven''t had the chance to live many of these things.
I wish this had been on the curriculum 45 years ago. This is the most useful article ever, well done to whoever devised it. Sorry ladies, but we just don't get taught this stuff, so don't expect us to know.
I loved the "it is less awkward to have the safe sex/condim talk than the dad I'm pregant talk. I know a few women who better take this to heart as well. About the question if women remark more than men? No, not always, I generally don't notice if someone had a haircut for instance (unless they are suddenly a redhead or a significant change in cut/length).
Also, for the question about why we say we’re fine when we clearly aren’t, sometimes I’m just too tired to explain. Or I feel like it won’t do any good to explain because it won’t change anything or might start an argument/upset you because I’m not in a headspace to word things nicely
There's also the classic "I know you will dismiss this as nothing or think I'm overreacting when it's actually really important to me, so I'm keeping quiet to avoid that confrontation"
Load More Replies... It's WONDERFUL to ask all these questions! Men and women. Communication is everything and this is such a great start. Here's hoping everyone asks their important questions and everyone can learn from each other. And I LOVE personal questions . . . I ALWAYS get the answers right!
Loved this. Real questions from guys looking for straight answers. And I think most got what they were looking for. This should be done once a month, especially since sex Ed is being eliminated in so many states. Let's cut politics out and just talk to each other.
This was helpful and informative! I have a question about bar behavior - twice in my life I have had a woman drop an unwrapped tampon into my beer (once in Billings, MT and once in Seattle), they both said the same thing that it seemed funnier in their head. Is this a common occurrence? or am I just a 'strange attractor'?
That's... odd. Maybe they were drunk and were curious about how much liquid it would hold? But honestly, it's rude. That's all.
Load More Replies... 