The savage art of the comeback is something that we should all take the time and dedication to master. There are very few things in life as satisfying as completely and utterly decimating someone with your wit, your snappiness, and your banter. And if you throw some good old-fashioned logic and common sense into the mix? Whew, you’re a legend.
The place that celebrates these “well-constructed put-downs, comebacks, and counter-arguments” is the legendary ‘Murdered By Words’ subreddit. Boasting a whopping 2.5 million members, r/MurderedByWords shares the best comebacks that we all wish we came up with ourselves. And, well, during the actual arguments, not days later while we’re shampooing our hair in the shower.
One of the moderators helping manage the vast r/MurderedByWords community answered some of my questions about the community. "The way we see it, a murder should (but doesn't always have to) be more than a quick response or retort. The best murders are well-constructed, thought-out responses that leave the opening argument completely without any ability to reply. In other words, their point has been totally demolished," the mod explained to Bored Panda.
"Now, obviously there's more than one way to murder with words, and sometimes a quick rapier thrust or stab to the heart (a short, swift reply) can be just as deadly as a drawn-out murder, and you'll frequently see both types in this sub," they added. Scroll down for the moderator's insights about how they and their colleagues tackle the challenges that come with managing such a large online community.
Check out the best online verbal put-downs, upvote the ones that impressed you the most, and be sure to give r/MurderedByWords a follow if you’re a fan of their stuff. When you’re done with this article, you’ll find some more inspiration for your future epic comebacks by checking out our previous features of the subreddit here, here, and here. Somebody call the police and the coroner because these ‘word-murders’ are out of control.
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Red Shirts Everywhere...
I Think This Belongs Here Too
Women Aren't People, Apparently
The moderator representing r/MurderedByWords shared with me that they have a very thorough vetting system in place for new mods. "We manage the community by being a tight-knit group of moderators who are all carefully vetted before being given the position, to ensure the stability of the subreddit and that good content gets through," they said. However, it's not just the mods who decide whether or not a comeback can be classified as a 'murder.' That honor is also given to the community members themselves.
"Overall, we believe in letting the subreddit determine what is or isn't a murder, and try to step in or remove posts only when the rules are broken or we see the same post for the gazillionth time," the mod explained.
According to the moderator, the community has its own challenges, just like any other large subreddit. "Every single post will always have someone who says, 'Not a murder,' 'This sub is dying/dead,' 'Mods suck,' etc. That comes with the territory of any subreddit, from smallest to largest," they told Bored Panda that these sorts of comments are completely unavoidable, no matter what the community might be. However, a bigger issue is... politics.
Yes, The Answer Is Yes
Who Doesn't Love Irony?
Far Too Many People See The Answer To This As Being "Yes"
"Another challenge that came up was when we decided before the US Presidential Elections to ban politics from the sub (there is a sticky at the top of the subreddit outlining what is/isn't allowed). Somehow, we managed to have both sides of the political spectrum pissed off at us for that one. Democrats complaining we had caved to the Republicans who kept getting 'owned,' and Republicans complaining because this was one big left-wing [echo chamber] and now they couldn't even respond with their own posts. We then made the ban permanent, but we still have to remove plenty of posts which fit the criteria for the no-politics rule."
But at the core of it all are practical challenges like finding ways to keep the subreddit growing and full of fresh content that will keep redditors happy. "We're lucky in that we frequently create posts that reach the front page and receive tens of thousands of upvotes (many have even passed the 100k upvote mark), which in turn helps draw attention to the sub, which creates more content, etc."
The Media Makes It To Be A Feel Good Story Over A Dystopian Nightmare
You’re An Asstrovert
Let’s All Make A Pledge
Nearly two years ago, I had a friendly chat with redditor Xor50, who’d been one of the moderators helping run r/MurderedByWords. They told me a bit about the community that has been running since December 2016, the type of content the subreddit features (and how it differs from similar subreddits like r/clevercomebacks), and how to give your put-down more substance.
“A ‘real murder’ in terms of this subreddit would be [this]: A murder should be a response to something or someone that totally, for lack of a better word, destroys them. They are, of course, subjective, and should be more or less based on fact,” Xor50 told Bored Panda previously.
Don't B Confused
More C-19 Experts..
Am I So Out Of Touch? No, It's The Children Who Are Wrong
“What is the difference between a ‘murder’ and ‘burn’ anyway? The mod team and even the MBW community has struggled for over a year to try and define the difference. It’s quite subjective and nearly an ‘I know it when I see it!’ situation, however, there are some generalities,” the redditor explained that there have been debates about the details of what constitutes a ‘murder.’
“Murders tend to be longer. It’s nearly impossible to ‘murder’ someone inside of a tweet. It’s just not long enough. You can burn them pretty good yes but a ‘murder’ is far more complete,” they said.
“Basically, anything that you would think is a witticism, one-liner, snappy comeback, or hot take is going to be a burn. Those may be a better fit for /r/clevercomebacks. Murders tend to be long-form, taking a minute or several to read, and thoroughly deconstruct an argument and/or the person making it.”
Columbus Day
🤣 That reply has some zing to it, anyone know where I can find that spcie?
Murdered By Wit
I Like The Second Guy’s Energy
Xor50 added that your personal passion for a topic can help inspire you to find a clever way to put down someone’s bad arguments. “Think about a topic you’re really passionate about and imagine you’re talking to an idiot who just doesn’t get it. That’s how I imagine it,” they said.
The art of the comeback isn’t out of reach for us, no matter how epic and unreachable some of these slap-backs and roasts might seem.
Classic Karen
Yeah, That'll Work
That’s Got To Hurt
British comedy writer and stand-up comedian Ariane Sherine explained to me during an earlier interview what the most important parts of a comeback are. “I think the most important thing with comebacks is speed. Even if the joke isn't a total zinger, people will be impressed by your quickfire response," she told Bored Panda.
According to Ariane, most stand-up comics actually have a “repertoire of comebacks” that they rely on while on the stage. This way, they can be prepared for hecklers and (at least some) unexpected situations. There’s a lot of prep that goes into being a good comedian!
“We're not all as fast and talented as it seems! But if we're doing stand-up, our own routines will be original—it's just heckle putdowns that might not be," she said.
How Dare We Give You The Correct Amount Of Changes
Bit Of A Stretch
What's with people and body hair? If you like body hair, good for you. If you don't, also good for you. No need to body shame someone for something that occurs naturally. It's like insulting someone for having legs. I'm looking at you, female beauty standards
Seriously What Is Wrong With You
Ariane revealed to Bored Panda that comedy professionals build up emotional resilience with time and experience.
“Heckle putdowns are generally shared among comics so there's no code of honor when it comes to using them (but you mustn't nick original stand-up material!),” Ariane told me where we can find some inspiration for clever comebacks.
Good Luck To The Women In Your Future
Entitled Karen Getting Stabbed By Words
Get Wrecked...
The comedy writer also pointed out that comebacks can either be spontaneous or more planned out (if you’ve got the time), depending on the actual comic.
"It [the comeback] needs to be very fast, well-timed, and take people by surprise as well as being clever, witty, and immediately understandable,” she said, adding that it’s relatively rare in her experience to have spontaneous eruptions of genius all the time. “That's relatively rare in my experience. I'm sure many other comics are more natural than I am!"
Research Before You Sprouts Anything On Social Media
Better Check Those Facts
Handle With Care
'As a man, the only emotion you should show is forest hack-saw domination', said, a conservative.
Why Go Out Of Your Way To Be An As**ole?
I admit, I have a pretty good life ... but I've suffered chronic depression since I was a kid. There's no logic to depression.
Because depression is a physiological disorder with progressive cycles of neurodegeneration. Sure, chronic stress makes people more vulnerable to depression (along with bunch of other conditions), but having a good life doesn't make you immune to depression any more than it does to hypertension, diabetes, cardiovascular disease, Parkinson's, etc.
Load More Replies...Think of mental diseases as physical diseases. Will you blame otherwise fortunate people to get pneumonia? No? Then dont blame them for getting depression either.
In Australia they Call mental health patients consumers and all other patients patients It’s bloody rude and does not fit at all with the fight against stigma
Load More Replies...Depression is based on chemical imbalances in your brain. It IS a physical disease. It is caused by physical reactions in your body and manifests in physical ways. Just because someone is lucky enough to never have experienced clinical depression or been close to someone who has doesn't mean they earn the right to be an asshole to people who do.
Yes, exactly this. Clinical depression is not a choice. Your own body is malfunctioning and typically needs medication in order to balance those chemicals. If you're exceedingly lucky you'll find a medicine that works well and that has minimal side effects. It took me literally twenty years to find the right combination of medicine to make me feel like I could function "normally". The side effects are bothersome sometimes, but worth it. I still need talk therapy and the dosing will change as my body becomes more acclimated to the medicine, but for now it's the first time in two decades I feel like me. It's frustrating that people don't understand that some people with clinical depression have a chronic disease that they have to manage with medication, sometimes for their entire lives. It's not a choice.
Load More Replies...I object to the suggestion that all white, heterosexual, "cisgender" people are automatically somehow "privileged". No wonder mental health issues are on the rise when people are being bashed on a daily basis just for being born who they are, it's no different to the racism, sexism, or any other -ism that these people are apparently against
Yah, where was my white hetero cis privilege when I was homeless, eating dumpster leftovers?
Load More Replies...There is another problem with this... most teenage girls will experience suicidal thoughts, it's a side effect of puberty and the hormonal changes they are going through. Sometimes they'll go away on their own like mine did and other times someone needs a little help through it. But it is something that NEEDS to be talk about more. Anyone reading this that needs to hear this; YOU ARE NOT ALONE! It is OKAY to feel this way and in NO way shameful!! If you feel you can't talk to friends/family/teachers etc. about it, type "suicidal" into Google the first search result will be a local help line you can call.
Might not be shameful, but I'm still too anxiety-ridden to talk to my parents and/or call any helplines. I have two friends who are depressed too that I can talk with, though.
Load More Replies...It can happen to anyone. I first got diagnosed over 20 years ago when I was a pro athlete. It killed my career and has ruined my life since. I'm now in hospital again and in my opinion, the worst part is the hope they give you. You hope so hard that this time will be different and things will turn out fine. Then like a curse, the depression, anxiety and low self-esteem hit you like a steam train, the hope shatters and you plummet into the abyss. And people mock that?
Sorry to hear you've ended up in hospital. I hope it helps with your recovery. Depression is a b*tch, especially when all the treatments have been tried and not much changes. I really wish you well. From one longtime depressed person to another! x
Load More Replies...Is the first person saying white, cis, straight people can't have mental illness? If so, apparently I'm actually black, trans, and lesbian then, because my anxiety is enough to make me cry over missing a day of school.
I am a cisfemale from a pretty wealthy family, yet I still can get depressed
I've been a high functioning depressive for as long as I can remember and here is my advice on dealing with it. I have a flow chart I use when I get overwhelmed, I call it the "should I worry about it?" Flow chart. If I have a problem and I can't do anything about it then I shouldn't worry, if I have a problem I can do something about it then I do the thing and don't worry. In the end I always come to the conclusion to not worry about it. "You don't know what you're talking about! Depression isn't that easy!" Yeah, I know that's why I'm still suffering from it. "That's so neruotypical of you! Stop trying to enforce nerotypical habits on those that aren't!" But that's the goal, to one day not suffer from depression and anxiety. I know it sounds easy and I know it's not easy. Some days you have to kick your own mental butt to get out of bed and at least brush your teeth but if you're brushing your teeth with tears and self loathing, you're still brushing your teeth and that's an accomplishment. Even if your arms feel heavy and you just want to lie down because holding yourself up feels like holding up the world, you're doing it and you're brushing your teeth.
when you think about it, she's a teenager, which means she can't seek medical help without her parents, who might not "believe in mental health"
THIS. My parents didn't believe I was actually depressed until I threatened to kill myself in college. Then the light went off and they realized "oh s**t, maybe this is real???"
Load More Replies...I too suffer with depression and it cripples some aspects of my social life and general outlook on things, but I'm still standing tall.
I have depression due to stress from middle school and having a abusive/unsupportive parent. One of my friend´s feels guilty for having depression because they had a good life.
I've been reading through all of the posts and want to say how much I appreciate them and that I'm sending good thoughts and hugs to all of you! I suffer from Bipolar depression which can be debilitating. One time I was telling a good friend who was checking on me how terrible I was feeling. His response was: "At least you know there are other people that have it worse than you." I know he meant it to make me feel better but I had to explain to him (somewhat firmly) that you can't compare people like that. Each person's experience and pain is unique and just as important as anyone else's. He understands that now...I wish more people did.
The opposite of transgender. That you identify with the gender that cukturaly is associated with your sex. So a female who identifies as a woman or a male who identifies as a man
Load More Replies...People should get through their thick skulls that depression is an ILLNESS! A physical illness! No it's NOT just in your head. It's your brain literally short-circuiting your mood and destroying your body on the way. You wouldn't go "you don't have cancer because you're young/rich/poor/white/black/etc" would you? Then don't do it for depression!
It's partially genetic and partially modern society and no one is immune. Additonally, intersectionally speaking, female humans are severely underprivedged regardless of other factors and now have one of the highest suicide rates since the trump administrarion/overturning of roe v Wade. (USA)
Trust me, having chronic depression while knowing how freaking privileged you are does NOT help the situation.
With the abundance of medications available, there's no excuse for being an asshole. Get help soon.
Depression is a seriously messed up thing. I had a brush with it myself, luckily nothing major. That's why I understand both points of view. Depression is not a thing to be taken lightly. So yeah, I don't like it when people just say "I'm depressed" without knowing what it's like. Just for attention. When I grew up, EMO was a thing. That's an entire subgenre in which everybody played at being depressed. So yeah, I get what they mean in the first comment, actually.
Why do you have to be so rude dude? maybe you're suffering from Dunning-Kruger effect, check yourself in you cake by the ocean!
Can we just acknowledge for a second that even though they were trying to lay out their picture of the most privileged person, it was still a girl? Like wouldn’t a guy be more to the point? I’m genuinely wondering if there’s any reason for this other than the fact that they think teenage girls are inherently petty
I've been lurking around bp for a while now but this thread really hit home. I've been treated for chronic depression for over 35 years. A number of years ago I had a pretty bad meltdown, I really had to see someone, I couldn't believe I had let myself get that bad. With quite a bit of counseling and adjusting meds and given an actual diagnosis my cloud went away - mostly. It comes and goes but it's much better than before. My official diagnosis is Bipolar 2. It can't be fixed and it will never go away but I do my best to manage it. I feel so sad/guilty/angry when people would say things like I should be able to get over it or they "had depression once but it went away" and other stupid things like that. It makes me feel something is really wrong with me, why am I so stupid that I can't handle it or make it go away but I read this post. Thank you all for understanding. Thank you all for letting me I'm not alone. Thank all for sharing and listening. Virtual hugs to you.
I have great life and love to the fullest. And I’m depressed. Nothing I can do exert the Prozac my doctor prescribed ( witch works great). I can’t say today I’m not depressed because I just can’t fit it into my schedule and then not be depressed
I am so sick of everyone pretending that women have no rights to be anything because men who kind of look like them got to do something.
I wish it worked like that. Where you can just realize your life isn’t as bad as xyz and all your views of your actual problems are fixed! Someone is always going to have it worse. Someone is always going to have it better. Everyone has the ability to feel pain, sorrow and depression no matter how many adversities they face or don't face.
This person's blog right now: "i made that post about depression when i was 13. i am currently 22 years old, and yes, i still get messages about it every f*****g day. if you're on your way to my new blog to send me hate, please go do something productive with your time. i'm tired of being attacked for a mistake i made several years ago and have already apologized for. like, seriously, come on dude. let's all grow up and move on. i genuinely apologize for being an asshole though. i was a really ignorant kid.""
Depression is an illness. It's like making fun of someone for saying they don't feel good when they have strep throat. Like strep, depression doesn't care about your gender, skin color, or orientation. It will mow you down regardless of where you come from.
This Doubles As A Til About The Spanish Anthem
Once Wasn't Enough, He Came Back For More
Rip Sportsball Fan
I completely support LGBTQ rights because LGBTQ people are the same as us heterosexuals, they just have different romantic preferences. They don't deserve to be treated as less than us...
God vs. Humanity
Trying To Gatekeep Conversations
What the actual f*ck is the original poster thinking? This must be one of the stupidest things I have ever read.
I've Had A 32" TV For Longer Than I'd Like To Admit
Oh, No! Anything But That!
US heath insurance is a scam... And textbooks are a scam... And minimum wage is a scam... Basically everything is a scam
The Ol' Switcheroo
Who Ever Will Fight A Wolf ?
But How Will They Make Money If They Can't Take Advantage Of People?!??
What Are Crab Cakes?
Doctor Of Reading?
Sounds like the symptoms of covid...so people without vaccination tend to get covid symptoms ... Who'd ave guessed?
I Don’t Really Know If This Counts But..
1) why would you be this pretentious in the first place 2) why would you be so pretentious on a god damn memes page...
Just So We’re Clear
It's Almost As If
You Can't Justify Her Actions No Matter What
He was trying to create a new line of skin care products...to sell in baskets....
I Once Knew A Peacock
Note: this post originally had 119 images. It’s been shortened to the top 45 images based on user votes.
Sometimes I actually forget that so many people are so completely stupid. Thank you for reminding me because it's important to remember.
Idiots being like "BP users are just looking to get offended" while being a BP user
I had to quit reading. I've never read so many stupid, uncaring remarks in all my life!
I keep hearing Only Fans on the internet lately, but I have a feeling I shouldn't bother Googling it.
Sometimes I actually forget that so many people are so completely stupid. Thank you for reminding me because it's important to remember.
Idiots being like "BP users are just looking to get offended" while being a BP user
I had to quit reading. I've never read so many stupid, uncaring remarks in all my life!
I keep hearing Only Fans on the internet lately, but I have a feeling I shouldn't bother Googling it.