ADVERTISEMENT

The savage art of the comeback is something that we should all take the time and dedication to master. There are very few things in life as satisfying as completely and utterly decimating someone with your wit, your snappiness, and your banter. And if you throw some good old-fashioned logic and common sense into the mix? Whew, you’re a legend.

The place that celebrates these “well-constructed put-downs, comebacks, and counter-arguments” is the legendary ‘Murdered By Words’ subreddit. Boasting a whopping 2.5 million members, r/MurderedByWords shares the best comebacks that we all wish we came up with ourselves. And, well, during the actual arguments, not days later while we’re shampooing our hair in the shower.

One of the moderators helping manage the vast r/MurderedByWords community answered some of my questions about the community. "The way we see it, a murder should (but doesn't always have to) be more than a quick response or retort. The best murders are well-constructed, thought-out responses that leave the opening argument completely without any ability to reply. In other words, their point has been totally demolished," the mod explained to Bored Panda.

"Now, obviously there's more than one way to murder with words, and sometimes a quick rapier thrust or stab to the heart (a short, swift reply) can be just as deadly as a drawn-out murder, and you'll frequently see both types in this sub," they added. Scroll down for the moderator's insights about how they and their colleagues tackle the challenges that come with managing such a large online community.

Check out the best online verbal put-downs, upvote the ones that impressed you the most, and be sure to give r/MurderedByWords a follow if you’re a fan of their stuff. When you’re done with this article, you’ll find some more inspiration for your future epic comebacks by checking out our previous features of the subreddit here, here, and here. Somebody call the police and the coroner because these ‘word-murders’ are out of control.

#3

Women Aren't People, Apparently

Women Aren't People, Apparently

beerbellybegone Report

The moderator representing r/MurderedByWords shared with me that they have a very thorough vetting system in place for new mods. "We manage the community by being a tight-knit group of moderators who are all carefully vetted before being given the position, to ensure the stability of the subreddit and that good content gets through," they said. However, it's not just the mods who decide whether or not a comeback can be classified as a 'murder.' That honor is also given to the community members themselves.

"Overall, we believe in letting the subreddit determine what is or isn't a murder, and try to step in or remove posts only when the rules are broken or we see the same post for the gazillionth time," the mod explained.

According to the moderator, the community has its own challenges, just like any other large subreddit. "Every single post will always have someone who says, 'Not a murder,' 'This sub is dying/dead,' 'Mods suck,' etc. That comes with the territory of any subreddit, from smallest to largest," they told Bored Panda that these sorts of comments are completely unavoidable, no matter what the community might be. However, a bigger issue is... politics.

ADVERTISEMENT
#6

Far Too Many People See The Answer To This As Being "Yes"

Far Too Many People See The Answer To This As Being "Yes"

beerbellybegone Report

"Another challenge that came up was when we decided before the US Presidential Elections to ban politics from the sub (there is a sticky at the top of the subreddit outlining what is/isn't allowed). Somehow, we managed to have both sides of the political spectrum pissed off at us for that one. Democrats complaining we had caved to the Republicans who kept getting 'owned,' and Republicans complaining because this was one big left-wing [echo chamber] and now they couldn't even respond with their own posts. We then made the ban permanent, but we still have to remove plenty of posts which fit the criteria for the no-politics rule."

But at the core of it all are practical challenges like finding ways to keep the subreddit growing and full of fresh content that will keep redditors happy. "We're lucky in that we frequently create posts that reach the front page and receive tens of thousands of upvotes (many have even passed the 100k upvote mark), which in turn helps draw attention to the sub, which creates more content, etc."

ADVERTISEMENT
#7

The Media Makes It To Be A Feel Good Story Over A Dystopian Nightmare

The Media Makes It To Be A Feel Good Story Over A Dystopian Nightmare

plurrrb Report

#8

You’re An Asstrovert

You’re An Asstrovert

Andy20788 Report

ADVERTISEMENT

Nearly two years ago, I had a friendly chat with redditor Xor50, who’d been one of the moderators helping run r/MurderedByWords. They told me a bit about the community that has been running since December 2016, the type of content the subreddit features (and how it differs from similar subreddits like r/clevercomebacks), and how to give your put-down more substance.

“A ‘real murder’ in terms of this subreddit would be [this]: A murder should be a response to something or someone that totally, for lack of a better word, destroys them. They are, of course, subjective, and should be more or less based on fact,” Xor50 told Bored Panda previously.

ADVERTISEMENT
#12

Am I So Out Of Touch? No, It's The Children Who Are Wrong

Am I So Out Of Touch? No, It's The Children Who Are Wrong

beerbellybegone Report

“What is the difference between a ‘murder’ and ‘burn’ anyway? The mod team and even the MBW community has struggled for over a year to try and define the difference. It’s quite subjective and nearly an ‘I know it when I see it!’ situation, however, there are some generalities,” the redditor explained that there have been debates about the details of what constitutes a ‘murder.’

“Murders tend to be longer. It’s nearly impossible to ‘murder’ someone inside of a tweet. It’s just not long enough. You can burn them pretty good yes but a ‘murder’ is far more complete,” they said.

“Basically, anything that you would think is a witticism, one-liner, snappy comeback, or hot take is going to be a burn. Those may be a better fit for /r/clevercomebacks. Murders tend to be long-form, taking a minute or several to read, and thoroughly deconstruct an argument and/or the person making it.”

#13

Columbus Day

Columbus Day

66baph0met Report

ADVERTISEMENT

Xor50 added that your personal passion for a topic can help inspire you to find a clever way to put down someone’s bad arguments. “Think about a topic you’re really passionate about and imagine you’re talking to an idiot who just doesn’t get it. That’s how I imagine it,” they said.

The art of the comeback isn’t out of reach for us, no matter how epic and unreachable some of these slap-backs and roasts might seem. 

#16

Classic Karen

Classic Karen

I_Luv_Transphobes Report

Add photo comments
POST
angelab_1 avatar
Angela B
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Such a good response, that I went and made popcorn and sat in my comfy chair.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

British comedy writer and stand-up comedian Ariane Sherine explained to me during an earlier interview what the most important parts of a comeback are. “I think the most important thing with comebacks is speed. Even if the joke isn't a total zinger, people will be impressed by your quickfire response," she told Bored Panda.

According to Ariane, most stand-up comics actually have a “repertoire of comebacks” that they rely on while on the stage. This way, they can be prepared for hecklers and (at least some) unexpected situations. There’s a lot of prep that goes into being a good comedian!

ADVERTISEMENT

“We're not all as fast and talented as it seems! But if we're doing stand-up, our own routines will be original—it's just heckle putdowns that might not be," she said.

#19

How Dare We Give You The Correct Amount Of Changes

How Dare We Give You The Correct Amount Of Changes

Couchmaster007 Report

#20

Bit Of A Stretch

Bit Of A Stretch

beerbellybegone Report

Add photo comments
POST
michellesavage226 avatar
Michelle M
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What's with people and body hair? If you like body hair, good for you. If you don't, also good for you. No need to body shame someone for something that occurs naturally. It's like insulting someone for having legs. I'm looking at you, female beauty standards

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#21

Seriously What Is Wrong With You

Seriously What Is Wrong With You

coredweller1785 Report

Ariane revealed to Bored Panda that comedy professionals build up emotional resilience with time and experience.

“Heckle putdowns are generally shared among comics so there's no code of honor when it comes to using them (but you mustn't nick original stand-up material!),” Ariane told me where we can find some inspiration for clever comebacks.

#22

Good Luck To The Women In Your Future

Good Luck To The Women In Your Future

MaxQ50 Report

Add photo comments
POST
3loretta979 avatar
Loretta
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dear men who consider this a good advice: I agree, please stay the f**k away from us.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#23

Entitled Karen Getting Stabbed By Words

Entitled Karen Getting Stabbed By Words

JustHereForTheCh1cks Report

Add photo comments
POST
wandiledludlu avatar
Sum Guy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People think they have the right to people because they see them on TV

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

The comedy writer also pointed out that comebacks can either be spontaneous or more planned out (if you’ve got the time), depending on the actual comic. 

"It [the comeback] needs to be very fast, well-timed, and take people by surprise as well as being clever, witty, and immediately understandable,” she said, adding that it’s relatively rare in her experience to have spontaneous eruptions of genius all the time. “That's relatively rare in my experience. I'm sure many other comics are more natural than I am!"

#25

Research Before You Sprouts Anything On Social Media

Research Before You Sprouts Anything On Social Media

ztaker Report

See Also on Bored Panda
#26

Better Check Those Facts

Better Check Those Facts

nexerxe Report

#27

Handle With Care

Handle With Care

PlacidlyClarify51 Report

Add photo comments
POST
michellesavage226 avatar
Michelle M
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

'As a man, the only emotion you should show is forest hack-saw domination', said, a conservative.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#28

Why Go Out Of Your Way To Be An As**ole?

Why Go Out Of Your Way To Be An As**ole?

beerbellybegone Report

Add photo comments
POST
generally_happy avatar
similarly
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I admit, I have a pretty good life ... but I've suffered chronic depression since I was a kid. There's no logic to depression.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#29

This Doubles As A Til About The Spanish Anthem

This Doubles As A Til About The Spanish Anthem

throwawayblueline Report

#30

Once Wasn't Enough, He Came Back For More

Once Wasn't Enough, He Came Back For More

beerbellybegone Report

#31

Rip Sportsball Fan

Rip Sportsball Fan

KosmicTom , twitter.com Report

Add photo comments
POST
makaylargardner avatar
BlackPearltheSeaWing/NightWing
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I completely support LGBTQ rights because LGBTQ people are the same as us heterosexuals, they just have different romantic preferences. They don't deserve to be treated as less than us...

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#32

God vs. Humanity

God vs. Humanity

nin4nin Report

Add photo comments
POST
wandiledludlu avatar
Sum Guy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not just that, his first 2 people were cancelled for eating a fruit he made

deborahbrett avatar
Deborah B
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sodom and gomorrah... destroyed by fire for sin. Lot's wife got turned into a pillar of salt for 'looking back'.

4ertani avatar
UncleRussian
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And I'm pretty sure there are more instances of God just killing people, just sayin'

mphseti avatar
mph seti
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

God has killed way more people than Satan. God worshippers have also killed way more people than Satan worshippers.

neilbidle avatar
nmshoemark avatar
Natalia Shoemark
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, no.. that would just be the stupid man made religion side of things... people suck!

Load More Replies...
nevits_yibble avatar
Nevits Yibble
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wasn't it God who ordered the Israelites to "cancel" the Amalekites?

nfrlprdpr avatar
Mazer
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Another religious zealot unclear on the details highlighted in their own religion…It seems to be a thing

junkmailspam avatar
An Co
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People don't cancel. They complain - the same way people have been doing since we invented speech. But the conservatives heard someone using slang and decided it was an entirely new phenomenon and made a big deal out it. Now they pretend there is something called 'cancel culture' that millennials "invented"

rjohnson0302 avatar
TrashPandaSociety
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why do religious people use myths in place of facts? Not everyone believes in God or the Bible. God did NOT cause a flood; there is no scientific evidence to back that fairy tale up. F*****g obnoxious.

lunamoth5862 avatar
Luna Moth
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No he didn't the Bible is just a story, not history. Do you people live in the dark ages?

jmchoto avatar
Jo Choto
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, and then Sodom and Gomorrah, and the plagues. He's all about the canceling.

norartnorart avatar
Norart
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It sounds like many people get their religious information from the back of a cereal box

elisebudd avatar
Elise Budd
Community Member
2 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

FYI this comment is NOT meant to offend anyone. As a Christian, reading those stories used to scare the living c**p out of me but later I realized that if God had not cut off the head of the snake it would keep biting people and more people would die because the people who were killed brought awful things onto other people. Some leaders in the old testament decided that they were God and changed up a lot of the rules for worshiping God. I was re-reading this and realized that there are a lot of rabbit trails and its hard to follow Lol. But I just wanted to say that sometimes we don't see the whole picture. Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this! Hope this helps and does not offend anyone!

endknot avatar
Wai Keet
Community Member
14 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People who frequently quote religion for reasons should actually read books related to their religion before making fools of themselves AND their religion.

kjl01 avatar
Karen Lyon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh, if you really read the Bible: lots of "cancellations". There was a 40-year cancellation period there, actually. Nice try, though.

adinaisme avatar
AndThenICommented
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

- Opened up the ground to swallow peeps (followers of Korach) when they challenged/denied Moses was God’s bestie - Canceled Lilith when she wasn’t all about Adam

lisachambers2018 avatar
Lisa Chambers
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The main reason for flooding the earth was not to kill humanity. Wasn't fruit either. The real reason is much much more interesting.

klerandre avatar
Randy Klefbeck
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And Sodom and Gomorrah, and Cain (he was set up) and the red sea collapse on Egyptians, and Caanan and Job and Jonah, and Hagar,......God of the Old Testament plays favorites and his most favorite is himself.

sanukjim avatar
James F. Wilson Jr.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is this the same God, that allowed 6.5 million Jews die from 1932-1945? If he controls all things, why didn't he give Hitler a heart attact?

origamichiken avatar
Origami Chik3n
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Land animals too. Sea dwellers, even those without fins and scales, were safe from HIS (remember, god's a white dude) wrath, though.

cip-iesan-67 avatar
queeronabike avatar
Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Canceling" is just boycotting. It's been around for centuries. Use your money and time to support what you care about. Feel free to withhold it from things you do not. That's "cancel culture." The end.

Load More Replies...
sumerasurti avatar
Sam
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

If you don't believe in God thats up to you. However to mock something you don't have any belief in or even recognition is really low and spiteful. For Many people God is is sacred and loved for people to laugh and be malicious about God is really low as it gets. God is not effected by your mocking however you are mocking whole groups of people of faith unnecessarily just because of ignorance,maliciousness and spite.

olivier_caissy avatar
Olivier Caissy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That was not a mockery, the guy’s "fact" was wrong and he was corrected over it.

Load More Replies...
View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#33

Trying To Gatekeep Conversations

Trying To Gatekeep Conversations

Blazing_Ken Report

Add photo comments
POST
moerbechris avatar
Chrissie Mörbe
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What the actual f*ck is the original poster thinking? This must be one of the stupidest things I have ever read.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#34

I've Had A 32" TV For Longer Than I'd Like To Admit

I've Had A 32" TV For Longer Than I'd Like To Admit

beerbellybegone Report

Add photo comments
POST
saihoekstra avatar
Sanne H.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is a difference between “old rich” and “new rich” here. Old rich (families that are wealthy for many generations) don’t usually show off.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#35

Oh, No! Anything But That!

Oh, No! Anything But That!

beerbellybegone Report

Add photo comments
POST
4ertani avatar
UncleRussian
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

US heath insurance is a scam... And textbooks are a scam... And minimum wage is a scam... Basically everything is a scam

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
See Also on Bored Panda
#36

The Ol' Switcheroo

The Ol' Switcheroo

beerbellybegone Report

Add photo comments
POST
katonakisani avatar
Ancsuri
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I still dont get it, why some people think that vaccination is evil, and but mumbo-jumbo things offered on the internet will work to cure cancer.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#38

But How Will They Make Money If They Can't Take Advantage Of People?!??

But How Will They Make Money If They Can't Take Advantage Of People?!??

catrinadaimonlee Report

#39

What Are Crab Cakes?

What Are Crab Cakes?

BRENNEJM Report

Add photo comments
POST
saragregory0508 avatar
NsG
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"anyone who isn't within walking distance of a school shooting"...

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#40

Doctor Of Reading?

Doctor Of Reading?

ITriedLightningTendr Report

Add photo comments
POST
basilignatov avatar
Basil Ignatov
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like the symptoms of covid...so people without vaccination tend to get covid symptoms ... Who'd ave guessed?

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#41

I Don’t Really Know If This Counts But..

I Don’t Really Know If This Counts But..

Andy20788 Report

Add photo comments
POST
4ertani avatar
UncleRussian
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

1) why would you be this pretentious in the first place 2) why would you be so pretentious on a god damn memes page...

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#42

Just So We’re Clear

Just So We’re Clear

DaFunkJunkie Report

#43

It's Almost As If

It's Almost As If

Gonadalchait351 Report

Add photo comments
POST
tmarek13 avatar
just me
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am in favor of unions, but... They need to protect the integrity of a profession and not just the workers. Police unions shouldn't protect dirty cops. Teacher/education unions shouldn't protect abusive staff.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#44

You Can't Justify Her Actions No Matter What

You Can't Justify Her Actions No Matter What

OkSurprise7755 , twitter.com Report

Add photo comments
POST
truthmonster00 avatar
Truth Monster
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He was trying to create a new line of skin care products...to sell in baskets....

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#45

I Once Knew A Peacock

I Once Knew A Peacock

AlreadyShrugging Report

Note: this post originally had 119 images. It’s been shortened to the top 45 images based on user votes.

See Also on Bored Panda