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“Starts To Bleed Into The Relationship”: 30 Times Frugal Crossed The Line Into Cheap
There is a thin line between practical frugality and being a cheapskate. But because everyone has a different definition for these two concepts, the distinction will depend on who you ask.
That’s why it’s no surprise that a Reddit thread from a year ago discussing these differences received a flood of responses. A user simply asked, “When does ‘frugal’ become ‘cheap’?”
Some commenters narrowed it down using the fundamental idea of needs versus wants. Others based their responses on how such behaviors affect other people.
How about you? How do you draw the line between frugality and cheapness?
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
A frugal person doesn't want to waste money. A cheap person doesn't want to spend it.
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#2
Buying tires when they're on sale is frugal. Riding around on bald tires is cheap.
Heras buddy 9 months ago
Remember you are in around one ton of metal. Don't buy cheap tires. Buy good inexpensive tires. There is a difference.
#3
It becomes cheap if it impacts health or safety, or is done at someone else's expense.
#4
Frugality is spending good but fair money on what’s important to you, and scrimping on what isn’t.
Cheap is paying the least amount, regardless of importance or circumstances, across the board.
#5
Cheap is mean. Frugal is being careful. Cheap is unkind to yourself and others. Frugal is careful respect for your resources.
#6
Frugal ain't cheap. You have to have money to be frugal.
Frugal is paying $400 for a pair of boots that will last 10 years instead of $100 for a pair that will last one.
That's why being poor can be so expensive.
#7
Cheap is turning off your heat and hot water. Frugal is finding the most efficient way method and temps to keep heat and hot water comfortable.
#8
When it affects other people. Being frugal is eating at home instead of eating out. Being cheap is eating out and stiffing the server (US).
#9
When it costs you time—which has no price. At some point, shopping around or not wanting to pay for things in order to do them yourself can cost you more in time than it's worth.
Sarah Suelzle 9 months ago
I understand what you're saying and I agree with you. 😊 I would like to add that time does have a price. For example, I would rather spend $10 closer to home and not drive around town all afternoon trying to save $5. My time and peace are what I get for spending the extra $$ and more valuable to me than saving a few bucks.
#10
My husband says I’m cheap because I refuse to get an uber in nice weather and will ride my bicycle 40 minutes to an appointment instead. I call that healthy and frugal. He offered to pay for it and I still can’t, just on principle. This is on a day where I have plenty of time to get there and back.
Donna Peluda 9 months ago
I had a job a used to cycle to because I could shower and get changed there.
#11
Frugal is spending your money wisely. Cheap is always buying the lowest-priced item.
Dawn Marie 9 months ago
Buying the lowest priced items is also the only way we can afford to buy food for my family for the month. It isn't cheap, it is surviving.
#12
This is how I delineate between the two:
Frugality is minimizing cost/resources while maximizing benefit. These can be quality, comfort, etc. Generally it is a mix of all the things you value in life. Frugality is a calculated net benefit.
Cheap you are minimizing cost at the expense of everything else. This may negatively impact things that should matter to you like relationships, health, hygiene, being a good neighbor, etc. It is only a net benefit if you look at price and ignore everything else of a more intangible value.
#13
Frugal is being smart about the money you spend. Cheap is being stupid about the money you don't.
Geoffrey Scott 9 months ago (edited)
Wife keeps insisting we drive 30 miles to fill up the tank as it's .20 per gallon cheaper. "Your vehicle gets 30 MPG, even if you get 10 gallons, the savings is $2.00. At $3 /gallon, you will spend 2 gallons of fuel there/back. Does the math work?"..."(cranky) "no"
#14
The show "Extreme Cheapskates" has entered the chat. Some of those people spend more trying to save money and really affect their and their children's quality of life.
Angela B 9 months ago (edited)
Saw a excerpt from this show once, where a woman used to go to neighbours homes and ask for leftovers (like pasta). She would then wash/rinse it, and serve it, or, feed her family what she had scrounged from neighbours. That's not frugal, that's cheap. And totally gross actually, washing pasta. Granted, there may be people who simply have no alternative to do something like this simply to eat, but that individual on the cheapskate program was just, cheap.
#15
Budget vs cheap. low price vs low price AND low quality. you don't want something with low quality.
e.g. budget socks $1 a pair that lasts a few years, vs cheap uncomfortable socks $0.33 a pair that get holes after a few months.
Remi (He/Him) 9 months ago
Problem is trying to figure out which are which in store. I've had cheap socks that have lasted longer than the so called quality ones
#16
I recently read something about this:
Frugal is when it has to do with you (going to thrift stores for example) but cheap has to do with other people (you drink much more than everyone else at a restaurant and when the bill comes you don’t contribute more money, you don’t even offer).
#17
The moment I made my bridesmaids pay for their own coffee at my wedding dress shopping trip. My mom's face said it all - I'd gone too far. Still feel awful about that one.
#18
Frugal means to me getting a good value without overspending. Cheap is just getting c**p things and paying as little as possible.
#19
When it starts to bleed into relationships. Like gifts for kids birthdays, not acknowledging special occasions like anniversaries, birthdays, etc. I choose to be frugal in my own life, but I also budget for gifts for friends and family.
Also, we have a thing in work where people voluntarily give up 2 dollars per pay period. It goes into an account and we use it for little parties, BBQ's, gifts/flowers for employees who had a baby or lost a loved one etc. Had 1 guy out of prob 80 of us who said no. When the Xmas party or the BBQ rolls around he's right there with a plate. When you do the math, over the course of a year, its like $0.07 a day to not look like a jerk.
#20
I think if you’re jumping through an insane amount of hoops to save a couple dollars is when it becomes cheap. Like being frugal to me is buying homebrew store-brand coffee versus a daily Starbucks, or cutting out coffee daily. Cheap would be hitting the motel 30 minutes away for their lobby coffee because it’s free.
Kenneth Barns 9 months ago
"Cheap" is making moka-pot coffee that is that dilute as it comes out of the pot!
#21
Frugal is cutting the ends off your onions to plant and grow more onions. Cheap is grabbing a bunch of straws/condiments from a restaurant to use at home. One helps the world, the other mooches from it.
Nikki Gross 9 months ago
Okay, you definitely aren't from the South or the Hood. EVERYONE, including the elderly have the condiment drawer. Whenever you get any type of fast/takeout food, whatever condiments that you don't use go into the drawer. Yes, there are some cheap a*s people that will go crazy in the restaurants, but most people will just ask for extra condiments with their orders. The only people that I know that don't do that is middle class and up. Hell, even at my jobs people will throw their leftovers into a drawer in the breakroom for everyone else to use.
#22
I knew a guy in the '80s that made his kids have water on their cereal. That's cheap. He would also turn off the pilot light on his water heater...
weatherwitch 9 months ago
Wait til they choose his care home..... It's just around the corner for him.....
#23
Cheap: buying the cheapest shoes. Frugal: buying more expensive shoes that'll last. Neither: buying all sorts of shoes to match different outfits.
Cheap: saving expired food. Frugal: planning meals so your food doesn't expire in the first place. Neither: doordash.
Cheap: taking cold showers. Frugal: taking a regular shower- there are other ways to save without being cheap. Neither: long, hot showers.
Cheap: not dating or having hobbies. Frugal: knowing what's worth your time and money to make your life feel fulfilled. Neither: spending on things that you don't even like, wasting time, or just never doing anything.
I don't think cheap and frugal are even close, actually. Frugal is just being thoughtful with your time and money if you ask me.
quentariel 9 months ago
This all true, but the shoe part is also quite frustrating. Like you know that a bit more expensive shoes would last five times longer, but you still have to buy the cheapest, because you simply don't have any more money to use. And if you use your shoes until they break, you can never really guess when they turn from slightly broken to completely unusable.
#25
When it impacts comfort.
I buy store brand things, but I'm a snob on somethings like ketchup.
I buy Costco toilet paper, but if its thin 2 ply, I'm going to splurge.
1200 thread count sheets. You spend 1/3 of your life there, spend the money.
Nikki Gross 9 months ago
When it comes to sheets Amazon is you're friend. I grew up with old and basic until I started making money and could splurge. I've bought 1200 thread count, Queen size sheets on Amazon for $20 during sales. They are high quality, last forever and feel absolutely amazing.
#26
Frugal is making the best of what you have. Cheap is refusing to make the best of what you have when there is an option to scrimp harder.
#27
Frugal is shorting yourself, to save for later.
Cheap is shorting others, to benefit yourself.
For example, frugal is bringing a brown bag lunch to work every day, for months... to save up for something you need/want.
Cheap is offering to take someone out on a date; you order the most expensive $50 steak for yourself, but tell them you will only pay for them to have the cheapest item a $10 salad. Then you refuse to tip the waiter because tipping is optional.
Frugal is a hardship you put on YOURSELF. Cheap is one you put on OTHERS, when you could put it on yourelf.
weatherwitch 9 months ago
I don't know, at least the Cheap one here is an instant red flag to run 🚩🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️
#28
Frugal becomes cheap as soon as your choices start to affect others.
EX: Your friend has a birthday and is having dinner at a restaurant to celebrate. Because you are frugal, you set yourself a spending limit; you buy an entrée but no drink, and get them a card and a small gift.
EX #2: Your friend has a birthday and is having dinner at a restaurant to celebrate. Because you are cheap, you go in wanting to spend as little as possible; you buy an appetizer while complaining about how expensive everything is. Perhaps you give a gift or you don't.
#29
When it costs 1/2 as much but doesn't even last 1/2 as long.
#30
I think frugal is a more philosophical meaning of "not wasting resources" meanwhile cheap is just "I don't want to waste money. Period"
When we think about different perspectives, we might come across intriguing debates and cultural misunderstandings. For example, the controversy surrounding MSG often mentioned in culinary discussions is a great example of how varied opinions and viewpoints can be.
Delving into thematic debates can also be seen in diverse dietary preferences and how they play out in workplace dynamics.
#31
My line is that being frugal should leave the world a better place, and being a cheapskate crosses into harming ourselves or others in some way.
#32
If you’ve ever watched extreme cheapskates, not one of the people shown are ever happy. You can see the hollowness in their eyes that nothing they do (to save money) brings them joy and they have stripped themselves of the ability to enjoy things they’ve spent money on.
Lara Verne 9 months ago
There was that woman, who was carefully counting her kids' cereals, so they don't eat too much, asking her neighbour for leftovers and serving it to her family, but she sure spends fortune on herself. Perfectly styled hair, makeup, nail, expensive clothes and shoes.
#33
Stressed relationships sometimes start squabbling over money. One person spends $2 on a coffee drink and the other goes nuts saying that their partner is costing them too much money. What about stuff like that? Using money/frugality as a weapon?
weatherwitch 9 months ago
This is actually known in the UK as economic abuse. Or financial abuse. Like deliberately giving a household budget that is Impossible to work.
#34
Frugal is doing your best to minimize expenses, cheap is being a d**k about it and making things worse or more expensive in the long run. Sometimes it isn't worth saving money because not spending it will make you (or everyone) miserable.
Ex: frugal person brings a drink on an outing whenever they can, a cheap person gets heat stroke because they won't cough up two bucks for a slurpee.
#35
My mom is cheap.
We went on a family vacation to San Francisco. My mom asked me to look for hotels and I found the ones that are walking distance to known areas and such.
My mom gave it a hard no and said to look for literally the cheapest we can find. Long story short, we ended up at one for $80 a night, in oakland, saw a ton of stains on the walls and often catch people starting at us while they were hanging outside.
We also spent forever looking for cheapest/free parking in some areas and it took so much time that we spent more time looking than enjoying/walking around the area.
#36
So, IMO the difference between frugality and being a cheapskate is that one is a net benefit to your life and the other is a net detractor.
#37
What's the point of having money if you don't spend it to improve your life? When you're cutting costs to the detriment of your own happiness you have gone too far.
Being frugal is cutting costs on things that don't matter, so you have more money to spend on the things you care about.
#38
I think it's a question of understanding value. Being frugal means having a good understanding of value. Being cheap doesn't. Food is a good example. If your buying the cheapest food you may save money but the value lost to your health means it will cost you more in the long run.
#39
Frugal people tend to be more budget-conscious and economical, whereas cheap people go well beyond the point of frugality. To me, “frugal” is waiting for toilet paper to go on sale and then buying it in bulk. “Cheap” is using both sides of the toilet paper. You get the picture.
weatherwitch 9 months ago
Using both sides of the toilet paper is Not a picture I wanted to get.... 😮
#40
If someone spends more time and incurs more headaches theirs or others that the saving justifies.
I had a relative fly from New England. to Florida to Texas to Seattle to California. Some stops had almost no layover , so they almost missed their connecting flight, and one with a 6 hour layover so they sat around for a few hours, to an airport that is 45 minutes further than the closest main airport to family. And assumed a family member would pick them up, Drive them around, and drop them off when it was time to leave. Note: the budget Friendly motel , that they always insist on staying at so they wouldn’t be a burden. Was 2 min from the closer airport.
So they could save $50.
That’s not frugal, that’s cheap.
#41
To me it’s being petty with other people and treating friends in a transactional way or a chance to save money. I’ve always been frugal but generous with friends and it’s reciprocated.
#44
Frugal isn't "all or nothing." It's a spectrum.
There is a balance between saving money and living an enjoyable life.
#46
Being frugal is making good decisions and wisdom in what they acquire. Frugal is taking care of your things and making them last for years. Frugal people can be wealthy, successful, and know good value. A frugal person knows how to shop well and look for deals, but not at the expense of so much time it cost you more in effort to find it than the savings.
Cheap often comes with ridiculous things like spending 25 minutes and $8 in gas to drive to the cheap gas station to save $5. Cheap is resenting success but glad to benefit from it when it's free on someone else's dime. Cheap is tipping poorly, not being generous, and thinking about yourself mostly.
#47
Frugal is being cost-conscious in a way that is beneficial to one’s financial wellbeing and/or the environment.
Cheap is closely associated with “miserly”, refusal to part with money in a way that is unfair to others.
#48
I think cheap is when you try to pay the least and there is not a whole lot of concern about what you get for it. If you wash your paper towels and plan to use them six times before discarding it, some might call you cheap.
Frugal, on the other hand, brings value into the equation. Sure, frugal people also want the lowest price possible, but they also balance that low price with what they get for it. If X needs to be replaced once a month and costs $Y, they may alternatively consider product A, which needs to be replaced every three months, but only cost 20 percent more than $Y. In other words, product A represents the better value, but not necessarily the lowest price.
#49
Cheap, to me, has bad connotations. Mostly related to not carrying one's own share of the financial load. The guy who brings a skimpy dish to a communal potluck, the woman who orders a small appetizer but eats most of the bread and goes around the table asking everybody to try their meal.
Cheap can also mean consuming as much as a regular person, but always going for the lowest-price option, regardless of quality. If you own a dozen pair of shoes, but they all come from Volume Shoe Source or WalMart (two retailers known for poor-quality, plasticky shoes), you're cheap.
Frugal has more positive connotations. I equate it with a conservation of resources. The frugal person might order a small appetizer, but because he or she has already eaten at home before the meal. Being frugal might mean owning one or two pairs of shoes, wearing out the soles, then getting them fixed rather than buying new ones.
Frugality is smart, it's environmentally responsible, and if you do it right, it can be almost invisible. Whereas cheapness can be an undesirable quality.
#50
You buy a new comfortable car with all the features you want, and the sales person suggests you to spend some extra bucks so that you can get a fancy number. You opt not to. Because You feel you don't really want to waste money there. You are being frugal.
You are going for a trip with your friends or relatives, and you refuse to take your car, because using your car would cause you fuel charges, and you don't really want to waste money there. You are being cheap.
Nadine Debard 9 months ago
Being cheap would be using your relatives as taxi without proposing to contribute for fuel and other charges.
#51
Frugal is buying whole chickens on sale and breaking them down yourself to make various dishes to eat.
Cheap is collecting random stranger's discarded and sucked on chicken bones.
#52
Cheap is also a mindset where one just cannot pay something that may be annoying, but is massively worth it, like checked luggage if you need it. I’ve been on flights with people wearing multiple shirts and pants, sweating and looking miserable, presumably because they decided to put on all the clothes they’ll need for the trip and stored only toiletries, extra shoes, books and electronics in their carry on bag. Cheap is also buying groceries one doesn’t even enjoy because they’re a little less money than food that is more appealing. One more example of cheap: when one asks a friend to do some skilled labor as a personal favor and then says his wife will cook some spaghetti if she is asked nicely. Like, no! I’m only there cuz you needed help, I ain’t asking nicely or otherwise for a damn plate of noodles, and don’t think that’s reimbursement for services rendered. Gah as you can tell I’ve been friends with people who did all those things.
#53
My in laws are cheap. They have 3 properties (2 of them holiday lets), retired early, several pensions and high yield investments. Yet they drive a 20 year old shitbox, never spend any money and generally live as though they have no money whatsoever. Refuse to go to cafes or spend any money - only way to get them to a restaurant is to pay for them. They have a tv from most 20 years ago and refuse to pay for a tv licence. They dont have amazon or netflix, unless someone gifts them a membership. Don't see them much as they don't want to pay for fuel. I know people who live on the breadline or on benefits and they live better than them. My parents, nice house, new car every 3 years, goes to cafes all the time, holidays, generally enjoying their retirement.
#54
It becomes cheap when it defies social conventions. For example, friends inviting you for a coffee and you bringing your own coffee to the coffee shop. Frugal would be you going to the coffee shop and ordering the cheapest item on the menu or just not going and proposing a free activity.
#55
Frugality is freeing. Being cheap is limiting. Constantly being in pain because you refuse to spend more than $15 on a pair of shoes is cheap. Only owning three pairs of shoes is frugal.
#57
Frugality should make your life better because you can afford the things and experiences you want. Cheapness makes your life worse and is no way to choose to live your life.
#58
Cheap is saving money at someone else's expense. Frugal is saving money because you don't feel that that item/experience is worth it FOR YOU.
If you're saving money but you're miserable or making others miserable (ie not having heat), that is being a cheapskate.
#60
Frugal is when you use less sugar in your tea because sugar is expensive.
Cheap is when you pocket five sachets of sugar from Cafe Coffee Day at your friend's birthday treat so that you can cut sugar costs.
Frugal is when you make things stretch an extra mile by nixing wastage - maybe you rinse out the mixie one more time to get all the pulp out or rehash last night's leftovers into tonight's cutlets.
Cheap is when you loudly remark to your friends who have dropped in to say hello about the rising cost of milk and sugar just before you ask them if they will have some coffee!
Frugal is when you shop on a high discount day from a place where prices are the lowest.
Cheap is when you haggle with a poor vendor and then break his back by demanding free coriander and green chilies over and above.
Frugal is wise.
Cheap is otherwise.
#62
A frugal person sees the value in the items that they purchase. That doesn't necessarily mean that they will not purchase an expensive item. They will usually have an informed opinion before deciding to make a purchase.
A cheap person sees the price as being the only important thing in purchasing something. They don't see the value. They are blind to quality or craftsmanship. It doesn't matter if the airline is safe. It doesn't matter if the buffet reuses food. They don't ask questions about the product. That's not important to them. The lowest price possible is their only concern.
#63
Frugal is being careful on impulse spending. Not to spend money unless it’s worth it. They don’t splurge every now and then. They go with value for money.
Being cheap is not paying your share when the bill comes. Always expecting free things from others in spite of being able to afford them.
#64
Let’s say that you want to buy a chair.
Being frugal means that you will check Costco (because you will get a “good price.”
Being cheap means that you’ll buy the cheapest one, whether it has good back support or not.
There is a wonderful expression, “We aren’t rich enough to buy cheap things.” If you buy a cheap table, within 1–2 years you’ll have to buy another one because it was made of particle board. If instead you buy a solid wood one from a garage sale, it’ll probably be around 25 years later.
#65
When one tries to live economically within one's income, it is frugal living.
But when one doesn't try enough to support himself, but depends on support or handouts from others, it is being cheap.
#66
When you are willing to dull the experiences of others (or yourself, really) to save almost nothing. I'm frugal in some areas so I can spend like a maniac in others without worry.
#67
Very simply, cheap is when I have a compulsion against spending that is so strong, I make myself unhappy with it. It's ok to practice some self-denial, but when there are actual seriously negative consequences that impact my quality of life, it's gone too far.
#68
Frugal is someone saving in one area to enjoy in another. I know someone who won’t eat out but rather save for travels. I love travelling but I find joy in finding the cheapest cute hotel and even making breakfasts in room to save money but I still get to see the world is my point. Or someone that enjoys eating out but doesn’t shop much.
#69
If you feel reluctant to pay five dollars a day for a cup of coffee, that’s frugal.
If a friend calls you because he just got laid off and you don’t pay for both your coffee and his, that’s cheap.
What do you think ?
john doe 9 months ago
My mother in law is the cheapest person I know, she only cares about price point on everything and gets this weird gleam in her eyes when she talks about saving money on some clearance garbage she got. My wife had an awful childhood because of it, she only ate whatever processed garbage that was in the clearance isle at Sam's club so her mom could save a buck, never got anything that was quality just whatever junk was cheap or free, they went to food shelves and got donated clothes despite her mom making a good living. My mother in laws life seems horrible she seems depressed all the time the cheapness has destroyed her life and she doesn't seem to know it.
Nadine Debard 9 months ago
I know a cheap person and they're mean, always calculating benefits on everything (and everything becomes transactional, at your expense). They would always complain about money (while I know for sure they're very well off). They would not drive because *insert any reason* so that other people do the taxi for free (never proposes to contribute). They're a choosing beggar even when people offer help or stuff. They're always asking for more. They would tell their children visiting on weekends to bring their own food or eat outside, expecting their meal to be paid for. But then when it comes to themselves they go in vacation at a nice place, they buy the best brand of yoghurt, whatever, as long as they don't have to share. I hate cheap people. I used to be poor and even poor we were caring and generous. Eff that person.
Emilu 8 months ago
I have no problem with people who are cheap because they need to be — and if I’m financially set myself, happily buy them a meal — but people being cheap for the sake of being cheap annoys me to no end. Eg: An ex-friend who complained about his meal (which most of us sampled after his whining and it was perfectly fine) just to get a discount, which he lorded over us after we left the restaurant like he was the next coming of Christ. Those people can go get effed and I’ll happily provide the cucumber for them.
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Cerise Hood 9 months ago
I think frugal is living well within your means, and cheap is buying things at a detriment to your social and personal life.
john doe 9 months ago
My mother in law is the cheapest person I know, she only cares about price point on everything and gets this weird gleam in her eyes when she talks about saving money on some clearance garbage she got. My wife had an awful childhood because of it, she only ate whatever processed garbage that was in the clearance isle at Sam's club so her mom could save a buck, never got anything that was quality just whatever junk was cheap or free, they went to food shelves and got donated clothes despite her mom making a good living. My mother in laws life seems horrible she seems depressed all the time the cheapness has destroyed her life and she doesn't seem to know it.
Nadine Debard 9 months ago
I know a cheap person and they're mean, always calculating benefits on everything (and everything becomes transactional, at your expense). They would always complain about money (while I know for sure they're very well off). They would not drive because *insert any reason* so that other people do the taxi for free (never proposes to contribute). They're a choosing beggar even when people offer help or stuff. They're always asking for more. They would tell their children visiting on weekends to bring their own food or eat outside, expecting their meal to be paid for. But then when it comes to themselves they go in vacation at a nice place, they buy the best brand of yoghurt, whatever, as long as they don't have to share. I hate cheap people. I used to be poor and even poor we were caring and generous. Eff that person.
Emilu 8 months ago
I have no problem with people who are cheap because they need to be — and if I’m financially set myself, happily buy them a meal — but people being cheap for the sake of being cheap annoys me to no end. Eg: An ex-friend who complained about his meal (which most of us sampled after his whining and it was perfectly fine) just to get a discount, which he lorded over us after we left the restaurant like he was the next coming of Christ. Those people can go get effed and I’ll happily provide the cucumber for them.
Load More Replies... Cerise Hood 9 months ago
I think frugal is living well within your means, and cheap is buying things at a detriment to your social and personal life.
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