"You live and you learn" is arguably the most common expression to justify mistakes. Yet, mistakes, regret, and life lessons are co-dependent. Consider it one of the life lessons learned the hard way, but the most genuine route to wisdom is making mistakes, also known as the trial and error method. Thus, feeling regret for things done wrong or not done at all is often the outcome. Yet, sometimes it's possible to forestall a few things we'd regret later by simply listening and hearing one another.
It's said that when people are offering you good life advice, it's really just them talking to their past self. Any good advice often comes from personal experiences and hard lessons learned from it. A recent thread on AskReddit revealed the many important life lessons individuals often learn the hard way. User Professional_Lab7394 asked, "What should one do in their 20s to avoid regrets in their 30s and 40s?" In this honest thread with over 6k comments, the r/askreddit community shared the biggest regrets in life that could have been prevented.
Below, we've gathered some of the best answers from the thread, sharing some of life's biggest regrets and the lessons that came with them. Do you agree with any of them? Let us know by giving it an upvote. Also, what's your take on the above question? Could some of your biggest regrets have been avoided if you'd done something differently earlier in life? Share your opinion in the comments.
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"If you plan to share a bank account with anyone, make sure to have another account just for you. And you only."
"Exercise. Staying in shape is easier than getting in shape."
I have two kids and my abs are strong thanks to the previous 20 years of exercise
"Take care of your teeth."
And your gum health. Do your flossing - I know it’s annoying but so are bleeding and receding gums.
"If you have pets, play with them all the time... interact, take the dog for a walk, even when you don't feel like it. Take lots of pictures and videos, save them, and back them up."
"Take care of your knees, and your back."
I physically cannot take care of my back because it is like a wet spaghetti noodle (scoliosis - non rapid progression).
"Stop smoking."
THIS!!! It is hands down the hardest thing I've ever done and it took far too long.
"Learn to cook and bake if you aren't already."
“Cook like no one’s looking. Bake like it’s your last day alive.”
"Enjoy the good times - learn from the bad times."
"Learn how to lift heavy objects without damaging your back. 42-year-old me has a thing or two to tell 20-year-old me about this."
Agree. If I could go back in time I wouldn't have lifted all those 75 pound boxes of rocks.
"Control your anger."
"Learn to love yourself and not worry about the opinions of others. Remember that you are stuck with yourself for the rest of your life."
"Read, read, and read, it’s one of the best things you can do."
"Protect your vision and hair as much as possible."
"Asking for advice is huge and I applaud you for it."
"Build a really good personal care routine."
"Listen to the older folks that have been there done that it's very easy to dismiss them or block out their advice in your 20s."
Unless it is an electronics question, then you might want to consult a young person.
"Don’t drink and drive."
"Buy the best shoes and the best mattress you can afford."
It's better to have 1 pair of high quality shoes that 4 crappy ones. Also big brand doesn't mean high quality.
"There is good advice here so I won't repeat it. Have two hobbies. One that is of interest to you and you are happy doing alone. The other one tries to have it be with other people. Preferably one of them has you getting outdoors often. They can be the same example: fixing bikes and going on rides with friends. Photography and bird watching. Practicing an instrument and being in a band."
"Take risks. Chase the boy/girl/etc. Jump for the job. Don't be afraid to bounce to a different state/country if the opportunity feels good."
I read "Don't be afraid to pounce", started thinking about Bouche, then cats in general... lost interest in the article.
"Don't start smoking."
"Work through childhood trauma."
Yep. Gonna take me decades of therapy to do that. Been through lots of shite
"Say yes to going to dinners, parties, birthdays, etc. even if you have work the next day or don’t feel like it. Most people lose 90% of their friends in their 20’s."
Meh, the main reason older folks have fewer friends is because they require less validation from superficial sources as they become more secure in who they are. See tip #40. Have the amount of friends that you feel comfortable having.
"Eliminate toxic "friends", relatives and relationships. It is better to be single than be tortured."
"Have a few close friends but keep making new ones. I’m all for making your own way, but you’d be shocked to know how many people got to where they are because they knew someone who knew someone. It can only help you and maybe you can pay it forward down the line."
It's not what you know, it's who you know - always in my experience.... And yes, I think it's BS that your merits don't get you where you deserve to be because of your hard work & knowledge.
"Travel - go for a long time and work while you're there if you can."
Went overseas as a volunteer in my 30s, stayed for many years and made a family... Lots of people take jobs as expats in different countries with their families btw!
"Move towards healthier eating habits."
"Learn to stop measuring the success of your life based on what you've done by a certain age. 30 or 40 are just numbers."
"Understand the world. You’ll hear a lot of stuff about news outlets being indoctrinating. To curb that read history, it'll give you the context to pull information out of what news is saying."
I think people must have gotten bored with the article before hitting this one for it to have only a few upvotes. Always go to different sources, especially for current events. I check the main news stories from other countries to get different perspectives and to check if the world cares about what seems important locally today.
"Spend time with relatives that probably won't be there in your 40s."
"Wear ear protection at concerts and when using most power tools. Hearing loss and tinnitus are real."
"Build a skill."
"If there's something you can study to advance your career, study it."
"Develop a sellable skill that will come in handy in your professional life."
"Stop slouching and sit up straight for the sake of your body. It's hard to undo the damage bad posture creates."
I have a back problem already and now it's hard to keep my back straight haha
"Type 2 diabetes is not fun and completely avoidable!!"
If you are ever warned you are pre-diabetic, take action and get your diet under control and start moderate exercise. This is your life and your future.
"If you're in a relationship that is making you feel bad more often than good - end it sooner rather than later."
"You can either do yoga for free at home in your 20s or in a physiotherapist's office for $60/hour in your 40s."
"Keep making friends."
"Don’t marry the wrong person."
Wait to get married! I have dress socks from wedding that I've gone to that have lasted longer than the marriages. What is the rush? It's not 1950 anymore, you can be together out of wedlock. Find the right one and after your careers are established and you have completely settled, then get married if you still want. Marriage is meant to be forever so it doesn't matter when you actually do it
"Seize opportunities as they come. We often regret the things we don’t do, more than the things we do."
"Get enough sleep."
"Make some mistakes, you’ll never be in a better position to recover from them, and they will teach you valuable things about yourself and the world."
"Start therapy sooner. Therapy is about maintenance, like an oil change. Don’t wait for your lowest breaking point to seek it out."
Can confirm! There's something awesome about talking to another person that has zero influence, zero feelings and zero judgement on your life. I've gained tools to cope and been given perspective on things I wouldn't have otherwise thought of 😁
"If you go to college, work while you go to school. Yes, this is less fun. Also, paid internships can pay well and get you job offers. I work in tech and hire interns all the time. They have fun, learn a lot, and make ~$30 per hour. About 1/2 of them get job offers. Full-time students generally work 20 hours during the school year and 40 hours in the summer or if doing a part-time semester. It's a great way to pay for school. If you do it right you can get 3 years of internships out of college."
Depending on your course load and major, it’s often better to spend that time studying if you can afford it…otherwise, work!
"If you don't like your job, get another one. If you don't have any good job opportunities, you need to work on that."
Sounds to make people guilty of what sometimes they don't have control of
"Decide where you want to be in 10 years. Once that's done come up with a plan to get there, and act on it."
"Don’t co-sign anything for anybody."
Dunno about this one. My dad co-signed for my first car. I co-signed for my son’s first car. We all have good credit now. This is bad how? I mean I get how it can go wrong but it can also go right. A better tip would be “Don’t apply a general rule to every similar situation.”
"Don't buy alcohol, ever. You will save tons."
But it tastes good and it makes you feel good. Plus, all the cool kids are doing it.
"Don’t get married in your 20’s. You shouldn’t make a lifelong commitment until you’re more mature."
Then how about "work towards maturing" instead of trying to draw out adolescence to last 2 decades. Growing up is a good thing, imo.
"Mental health. Please cater to it. Take care of yourselves mentally and you’ll do great in your 30s."
"Buy your favorite albums. They are going to cost 10x more when you are 40."
"Get the HPV vaccine so you don't get throat cancer when you're in your 40s."
"Finish college."
"Learn good financial planning, start setting yourself up for retirement."
"Invest in 401k at least w/e your company matches."
"Start thinking about how you want to make a social impact on the world. Make a commitment to yourself to be kind and compassionate, especially to those less fortunate than you."
"Generally develop healthy habits."
"More so for women: consider if you want to have kids. I know many women in their mid-30s who never really thought about it and are taken aback when their gynecologist comments about their remaining fertile years. Freeze your eggs if you have that luxury and no partner."
Sally, this is very true. I did IVF successfully, one baby. One year later I had menopause while turning 39
"Find a way to go to college or finish college inexpensively. Most community colleges are close to free. Most state universities are less expensive than others. In my city, a new HS grad can get a four-year degree with a maximum of $18K in tuition - two years of free community college and 2 years of university at $9K per year. Nobody needs $50-$100k in loans to get an ungraduated degree."
That's NOT everywhere. Community college is starting to cost the same as in-state tuition was 25 years ago. I agree with the sentiment, but it needs to be possible in reality. Consider moving to where such opportunities exist.
"Learn a trade."
I wish I had become a plumber. But they didn’t promote trades to women or honours students back when I was a kid.
"Don't do something stupid & hurt your back."
I think a lot of these can be summed up as “Be Smart, Not Stupid!”
"Don’t buy anything you can’t pay for in full (except maybe a house)."
And, since its just a CHOICE, choose be wealthy over being middlin' or poor. You know, because its a simple choice (maybe wake up and say, "I think I'll be rich today." isn't that how it works? Oh yeah, make sure to use your pocket change to play around and build rockets that serve no purpose.
"Save some money."
OK Boomer, with your wealthy parents and your trust fund. We will all stop eating and heating our hovels so we can “Save Some Money.” SMH
"Follow your dreams. They don’t go away, you won’t grow out of them. You’ll be better for it and have more confidence in yourself knowing that whatever happens you tried and gave it your all."
This sounds like a line from a Disney movie. No you will not likely achieve your dreams. Sorry for the bubble bustage. Also, most dreams folks come up with in youth are delusional. Who wants to fulfill a delusional aspiration? Life is long, tastes and desires change, people change. Have dreams, be open to changing those dreams as reality dictates. Enjoy the time you have and try not to have too many expectations for yourself or others.
"Invest in a skincare routine. Vitamin C and SPF every single day no matter the weather. Retinol 4-5 days a week."
"Buy real estate."
I feel most youngster can't even afford food...but right boomer, I'll think about it
"Jump jobs to find one that suits you. I have a very diverse resume due to it and can get a job in dozens of fields."
"Get laid. Get good at it. This may actually involve communication with partners."
Eat food and breath air. Get good at it, this may involve using your mouth and nose.
"Do not take a car loan. Just don't. If all you have is $1000, drive a $1000 car until you can afford a better one."
Hmm, not sure I totally agree with this one. On paper it sounds logical but the first car I bought was a £1000 job and I didn't know much about cars at that age. I then spent the next three years I owned it ploughing money into it just to keep it going. In the end I probably ended up spending three times what I paid for it initially just on repairs. Not saying that will happen in every case but if a car is cheap it's usually cheap for a reason.
"Save a small amount of money for when it goes up divorce, job loss."
