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“My Dad Forgot I Was With Him”: 30 Stories Families Would Rather Pretend Never Happened
Family gatherings can be great opportunities to share heartwarming stories and reminisce about what it was like when your youngest family members were still in diapers. Keeping these tales alive is a wonderful way to bond with relatives and maintain a strong connection, even if you live thousands of miles apart.
But it seems like every family has a few stories that they never want to hear repeated and have decided to sweep under the rug. Reddit users have recently been bringing family secrets that never get discussed into the light, so we’ve gathered the juiciest ones below. Grab some popcorn, pandas, and enjoy reading through this list. And be sure to upvote the stories that you can’t believe have been buried!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
When I was a teen in the ‘60s no one in my family was allowed to talk about Aunt Rita because she preferred the company of other women. I thought that she was a strong vibrant happy woman who never had a bad thing to say about anyone and didn’t care what anyone had to say about her. She was friggin awesome.
Glen Ellyn 11 months ago
This is so sad, but in some way, it may have been good nobody talked about her. I'm afraid whatever they said would not have been kind.
Chicken Mitten 11 months ago
Great point. OP may not have had such a good outlook had they been raised with the adults gossiping.
Load More Replies... Tabitha 11 months ago
I hope OP made sure to stay in touch with Aunt Rita and even visit her once they were grown and their other family members couldn’t do diddly squat about them, a grown adult, deciding to keep a pariah family member close to them. If IP did that, I bet it made Aunt Rita incredibly happy.
Randy Sanders 11 months ago (edited)
Old MAGA guy here. I never had a problem with anyone that was gay. Always nice people as far as I know. Even took them to the range to train them after the Pulse shooting. Well, except one, but they were just an a-hole anyway.
XenoMurph 11 months ago
Good on you mate. I disagree with you profoundly on almost everything political, but I bet if we really talked, we'd have more in common than we realise. Let's hope society gets past this deep divisions and can come together because of our similarities. Might be a decade or more before that happens for the general population though.
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CD Mills 11 months ago
I was 25 when I found out I had another Uncle on my Dad's side. He was born in the 30s so, not a good time to be gay. He was never spoken of, there were no pictures, I was told I had two Uncles and one Aunt. My Dad's whole family, except for my Nana(my Dad's Mom) erased his entire existence. I only met him once, I liked him. I never got to know him though. I did(he passed in the late 80s) have an Uncle Dee, even if no one else claims or acknowledges him! I miss not having had a relationship with him, as good as I had with my Aunt and other Uncles.
Chris the Bobcat 11 months ago
More of those "good ol' days" the magats keep going on about. The choice is about granting rights vs taking rights away. I've never been so ashamed of my country's citizens than I am now.
PenguinEmp 11 months ago
And people keep wanting things to be like they used to be. No thanks, I'd rather have now.
Beak Hookage 11 months ago
Most of 'em only want to go back to the "good old days" because they're the kinds of people who would have had it easier. And screw everyone who didn't, naturally.
Load More Replies... Beak Hookage 11 months ago
My parents have told me about people they knew when they were young who they only just recently realised were probably in the closet, like one guy who was always insisted that he had had a wife but she had died, yet there was no evidence she ever existed in the first place.
RELATED:
#2
When I was 5 my dad one day took me with him to visit a guy about buying a wagon. While they were talking I went into the backyard to play with the guys grandson. My Dad forgot I was with him and just left. He came back 25 minutes later and that was the very last time my Mom let my Dad take me anywhere until I was old enough to call home. The biggest plot twist is I'm now married to the grandson. But yeah my Dad hates if anyone brings up I got left so we don't.
st4x2gt974 11 months ago
My dad left me routinely. He didn’t give one flying f**k about me and my abusive manipulative mother made sure I knew that. If he actually remembered me once that would be noteworthy. These were the days before cell phones so I would just hang around a closed building or worse stress out that the counselor/teacher/whomever had to sit around waiting on him to hopefully eventually show up bc someone (my sister normally) noticed I wasn’t home. Moulding myself to please others and not inconvenience anyone has cost me basically my entire existence as a result, going so far as to be sexually assaulted or get myself into incredibly precious situations bc I don’t want to make anyone around me uncomfortable.
Nikki Gross 10 months ago
There are 13 of us, so there was a mandatory head count wherever we went. Even if it was a trip to the grocery story, Mom would count us getting in and out of the car at every stop we made. Forget trying to remember names, it was all about the numbers.
Dawnieangel76 11 months ago
My dad has 8 siblings. One time on a family road trip, they loaded back into the car after a rest stop, and took off. After a short time, someone looked out the back window & saw one of his brothers running full steam after the car, waving his arms & yelling even though nobody could hear. I don't remember how old, but he was under 10. Everyone laughs about it, except for him.
Linda Riebel 11 months ago
Same thing here. My little brother was left behind and Dad had to drive back to get him. I went along for the ride. As I was looking around, Dad and Frank left. I had to call Mom to make him come back again to get me.
Little Bit 11 months ago
When my aunt was a baby, my grandad was getting under my grandma's feet so she suggested he take the baby for a walk in the pram. He did, all the way to the pub where he stopped for a few pints. In those days (1950s) it was commonplace for parents to leave their babies outside of shops, pubs, etc while they were inside. When he got back home again my grandma asked how the baby was and he realised that he'd left her in her pram outside the pub. Fortunately she came to no harm but it was a mistake he never repeated.
Beak Hookage 11 months ago
My sister and I once got left at after school care for hours because BOTH parents forgot to pick us up. At least the after school care workers would've gotten paid extra.
#3
My uncle committed s***ide to escape the hatred of the family. He was gay and their "Christian" values said to treat him like absolute garbage because of it. After he passed my grandmother tried to destroy all of his things; they were/are apparently possessed by demons.
I was allowed to know him, though. He was still blood, after all. I loved him so much. Now the only memories of him that I have are playing Legos and solitaire in the computer room. I have a few of his things that no one will *ever* get their hands on. I'll just be over here, hanging with my demonic spoon rest.
Glen Ellyn 11 months ago
How absolutely horrible. I'm glad that you still have a few mementos of him. I'm so sorry for the tragic loss of your uncle.
Sue Denham 11 months ago
Similar situation happened with a distant cousin of mine. So sad that they were made to feel so worthless.
katiekat0214 11 months ago
This family wasn't remotely "Christian", and I speak as a Christian. When your hate is so strong that you drive someone to unalive themselves, that's not love at all. It's not even tolerance, which is just one step above hate. This is despicable.
Tom Brincefield 11 months ago
You are committing the No True Scotsman logical fallacy. Just because you don't approve of their form of Christianity doesn't mean they aren't Christians.
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Bartlet for world domination 11 months ago (edited)
Trigger warning: this article gets way, way worse when you scroll down.
KatSaidWhat 11 months ago
I'm not sure it can bar someone getting killed for being gay. Did I just put out a spoiler alert?
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Emily 11 months ago
My grandma's favorite uncle was a gay man. He would take trips into "the city" so often. It was a well known secret, but no one ever made anything of it. Just lived and let live. His painting of the family farm was in my grandma's house until she passed, and now it is in my mom's house and she's going to pass it to my cousin who is gay some day. I dont get families who it into a thing. The individual is FAR more important than the partner they take to their bed. :/
Ash 11 months ago
I had a great-uncle who committed suicide. I didn't learn about it until I was in college, because the family never mentioned it. But it turned out that it was because my aunt and uncle were so traumatized by their uncle's suicide that the family made extra sure to never mention it around them so it wouldn't trigger them. // On the other hand, we also do not mention the fact that my cousin's f'd-up dad is actually not her bio-dad: he's impotent and he and her mom used sperm donation to conceive. AFAIK, her mother has never told her.
Chris the Bobcat 11 months ago
christian values have always included intolerance, despite all that "love thy neighbor" stuff.
#4
When I was 12 (in 1999) my parents told me they were taking me to Disneyland, and dropped me off at a boarding school and just left me there for 2 years. I had no warning and no idea what was happening or why, and no idea when I would see them again. All these years later and I still cry when I think about it.
Panda Kicki 11 months ago
Holy s**t! I hope you have gone nc and now has a loving real family.
Glen Ellyn 11 months ago (edited)
Oh. My. Stars! I'd call this child abandonment even though the law might not say so.
Still Going 10 months ago
What an appalling, horrible, heartless thing to do to a child.
Load More Replies... Disgruntled Panda 11 months ago
This mist have been a world-shattering experience, especially when you're so small. My heart breaks at this
Jaya 11 months ago
Horrible, horrible parenting. Boarding schools are a bad idea anyway, but if for some reason you HAVE to do that, you make sure that your kid fully knows what's gonna happen and how, and that they have plenty of oppurtinity to ask all their questions and express all the emotions that the decision will create.
SCamp 11 months ago
Yep, horrible parenting but boarding schools are not a bad idea at all. Doesn’t suit some people of course and people have had bad experiences in them yes, but my mother credits boarding school with turning her life around and gave her her 3 best life friends. She says they were the best days of her childhood
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Bay Bo 11 months ago
My older sister was being a troublesome teenager. Got told she was going to stay w the rich grandparents. At the airport my grandpa joined the flight destined to a boarding school in Dominican Republic...my poor ais never saw it coming 😬
Earonn - 11 months ago
I hope you went NC with the f***s that are your parents and your grandfather.. "Troublesome teenager", yeah, small wonder with such psychopaths around.
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#5
How I was forced to marry my second cousin at 16, and when I finally couldn’t take it anymore when I was 23. I called my Mother begging her please let me come home he is gonna k*ll me, actively beating me as we are on the phone, all she could say was “Baby I can’t help you.” Then she hung up on me. Thankfully I made it out alive, nearly a decade later living a completely different life as a new wife and Mother.
Still Going 10 months ago
There's a special place for people like that after they pass on, hotter than the hottest fire. How do you refuse to he!p your child who's fighting for their life?
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Severus S 11 months ago
Sounds like a woman I know, her grandparents were from Pakistan and arranged marriages were the norm, so she was born here in the UK, she was married off at 16 to a 2nd cousin in Pakistan and then he was allowed to stay here, lasted 3 months, he would beat her and he refused to learn much English, she not only had to leave him but had to leave the north of England and move down South as her family would find her and return her to him. Her own mother sent her brothers around to return her to an abusive husband because it had only been 3 months. She had the marriage annulled and they were angry with her that he couldn't stay in the UK, dont know if he was deported or married some other poor woman. She was nc by that point.
G A 11 months ago
Good for her. I hope they sent the barbarian back but I expect he disappeared into the illegal workers brigade.
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Skogsrået 11 months ago
People are getting premium accounts cause they want to stay on this site and BP is making it more and more inconvenient for people here without premium.
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Warren Cancilla 10 months ago
love how the brain-washed "Deeply religious" do not care about people's actual well being.
#6
We all pretend we don't know my uncle is gay. No one has a problem with it at all aside from my uncle himself, who has a lot of shame about his sexuality due to some childhood trauma. So we all pretend we think he's just such a hermit that love isn't for him and all he needs is his cabin and his fishing pole.
He knows we know, we know he knows we know - but for now this is how he feels most comfortable.
Rick Seiden 11 months ago
I knew a guy who kept his sexuality to himself for a long time, then decided to open up to a few people he trusted. I was lucky to be one of them. I learned that he was in a relationship longer than my marriage and was super happy. When we would be alone doing whatever, I would ask him about his partner and his private life. I felt much closer to him.
Tom Brincefield 11 months ago
My sister mentioned to me that my family all thought I was gay. I hadn't dated a woman in a couple of decades, so obviously I must be gay. 🙄 Reality is, I'm s****y at relationships.
Simon Chen 11 months ago
Looks like je is happier that way. Some people prefer to be alone, rather then being seen as the 'gay guy'. It is of course mostly a problem for him, but i can relate. If you come out, you came out, you can not undo it. Even if he did, it would not cause instant happinesa
#7
That today is the day my mom died. No one has mentioned it. Rip Bobbi Jo Caraway. I'll always remember, even if they don't.
Polly Fukuhara 11 months ago
I think some people try to forget days like this as a way to protect themselves.
Gracie Mae 10 months ago
it doesn't matter how long ago it was, it's always nice to have something like this acknowledged. Hugs
Magenta Blu 11 months ago
I have to scratch my head for remembering when did my own mother passed away.. about 14 or 15 years ago, not sure.. and I can't care less.
Sven Grammersdorf 11 months ago
There's literally nothing online about that woman except this comment
Nikki Gross 10 months ago
So, does that means she doesn't exist? My Dad was killed in 1984, his accident and death was even in the paper, which I have a clipping of the article. You won't find anything about him online. My Mom is online, someone even posted a picture of her headstone on Find A Grave, which I'm NOT to happy about since no one asked permission, before they posted the pictures. Several members of her family are linked to her picture and I know for a fact that they weren't given permission to take and post those photos.
Load More Replies... #8
My aunt talked my cousin out of an abortion (not her kid, just her niece) and it *f****d* my cousin's life up. She lost the kid, ended up on all the d***s and spent a while in jail. She's got her s**t back on track at this point but she was headed somewhere until that f*****g meddling holy roller got involved.
My family doesn't talk about it, but I sure do. Every time I see that Aunt. She can f*****g rot in hell and I will never let her forget what she did to my cousin- we were thick as thieves. It's been thirty years and my rage still burns white hot.
Trillian 11 months ago
Which is good since he didn't have a uterus anyway.
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Earthquake903 11 months ago
The Bible states a woman's life is more important than a fetus and doesn't recognize a fetus as a person. Screw the religious right and the vast harm they've done and continue to do daily.
Tom Brincefield 11 months ago
For Henrik Knudsen, a more accurate reading of Exodus 21:22–25 says if 2 men are fighting and injure a pregnant woman, causing her to lose the pregnancy, the man who injured her must pay a fine to her husband for damaging his property (his wife, women at the time were always considered some man's property.) If the woman died, the man was subject to lex talionis, an eye for an eye, a life for a life. IOW, those verses mean exactly the opposite of what Henrik claims.
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Anne Roberts 11 months ago
Everyone should be allowed to make their own choices about their bodies and their lives.
PenguinEmp 11 months ago
Her right to choose. Not mom, dad, Jimmy or auntie blah blah. This is why.
Trisec Tebeakesse 11 months ago
W*W. I W*** I c**ld read a** under**** half the BS that BP is c*****ing.
#9
My biological maternal grandfather smothered my newborn uncle in retaliation for my grandmother sticking up for herself during his abusive tirades. He’d been abusive in every sense of the word towards my grandmother and their children, and for the most part my grandmother just took it out of fear. One day she got a bold streak and argued back at him. He stopped arguing and my grandmother thought maybe he just decided to leave it alone. Later that day he smothered their newborn son in his cradle, and told her if she ever talked back to him again, she’d be next. He lead the authorities to believe it was crib death, and so it was ruled to be such.
Thankfully my grandmother escaped him some time later. I didn’t hear this story until I was an adult. I never met my maternal grandfather and I’m quite content with that. If I cared enough to know where he was buried, I’d go p**s on it.
Sue User 11 months ago
And this us why " why dobt the women just leave" statement are ludicrius. If he could do that to an infant... Fear, they dont leave out of fear. And dont talk about restraining orders cause the cops have to be faster than the abuser.
Jenna Kay 11 months ago
Harder than some people think. Where do I go that I can't be found? Will they show up at my work? My class? My parents? My friends? How do I get my things? What about my kid(s)?! What if I have to share custody?!!! Restraining orders don't always work, moving doesn't always work, leaving everything behind and starting over doesn't always work.
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 11 months ago
Ok, whoever said this article gets worse the more you read was right.
Tabitha 11 months ago (edited)
My parents were a******s who I left at 18 and never looked back. When other family members told me when each of them had died, they gave me a small container of their ashes. Those were two very satisfying and downright therapeutic flushes, and those two people—-who had five kids and should never have had any—-fully deserved it, believe me. For the ones who were buried, If I could get away with it, I would love to leave a steaming turd on their graves. A couple are relatives who are finally gone, a couple are people not related who I unfortunately encountered when they were alive, and the rest are people who I am not related to and never knew personally, but who were notoriously evil nonetheless. I know I wouldn’t be able to get away with doing something like that, so my “offering” would have to be metaphorical (burying a shitload of stink weed seeds on the grave, or just letting my dog p**s on them, maybe?), but that doesn’t change the way I feel about those m***********s.
#10
My family didn’t talk about anything beyond the weather, prices at the grocery store, and light gossiping about other family members. I was 12 when my dad died. No one said his name again, and there were no stories about him. As an adult, I reflect on how pathological the avoidance was.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 11 months ago
My mom refuses to acknowledge that my dad died in 2021. He had been disabled (catastrophic brain damage following an accident) for two decades after an accident, and we'd taken care of him at home all that time. When he died, she cleared out all his medical equipment (including his hospital-style bed) from the front room, and got rid of all of his clothes and everything else. And she refuses to tell ANYONE that he died. Our employees don't know. Our family members don't know. I try to post an "I miss you, Dad" type post on social media on the anniversary of my death and my sister screams at me to delete it. I don't know why my mom wants to hide my dad's death. I think it's completely unfair to his remaining family members, so I sought out his brother (my uncle) to let him know my dad had died. I was the only one who held my dad's hand and stayed at his side on the night he died (my mom and sister bailed) so I think I have a right to not be forced to pretend that my dad is still alive.
Kristy Marion 11 months ago
My Mum was similar. Had Dad’s room cleaned out the day after he died and she barely mentioned him again for the next 20 years. She never pretended he was dead, but she certainly didn’t/couldn’t deal with her feelings about it and about him.
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Glen Ellyn 11 months ago
How sad. I think it's also insulting to the memory of your dad, just wiping away his existence.
YakFactory 11 months ago
That's so sad, to be unable to share your memories, and to acknowledge that he was a important person in your life. Remembering people keeps them "alive" in our hearts.
GalPalAl 11 months ago
My sister passed one year and then two years later, my dad passed. At my dad's service, my mother insisted that all of the pictures we use in the slideshow should only be pictures of him alone. Can never understand why and if I ask about it now, she denies that ever took place. For clarification, she is an undiagnosed narcissist with paranoia issues.
SkippityBoppityBoo 11 months ago (edited)
I was 10 when my grandad died. I grew up fast because I had to. I had to come home from school straight away, make sure he'd taken all his tablets, him and my grandma, who was manic depressive, had as well... I was there when he died. It doesn't matter but it does... Noone ever talked to me either about how I was coping, if I was okay. Goddamn Avoidance.
#11
My dad's old hairstyle in the 80s. We have an agreement to never bring up the perm again.
rullyman 11 months ago
I had a perm done in 2014 and absolutely loved it. As someone with pin straight natural hair that hangs limply, it was so much fun to wake up and throw my head back
BookFanatic 11 months ago
Lucky. I got a perm in the 90s. It lasted 2 weeks before my stick-straight hair reasserted itself.
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Upstaged75 11 months ago
Same. We all had the perm plus that feather cut. I cringe at my pics from that era.
Load More Replies... Glen Ellyn 11 months ago
Compared to all the blue, green, and pink hair we see today, a perm is pretty mild. 😉🤭
KatSaidWhat 11 months ago
Mate, 80s perms were next level... don't ask how I know.
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Margaret H 10 months ago
OOH! I had one of those perms in 1980. When I went to pick my son up from school, he took one long, admiring look at me and said, "You look beautiful, Mommy! Just like a clown!" And he and I laugh about it frequently to this day.
Jesús de Cos 10 months ago
Nice perm, man. Don't let 2025 stupid prejudices get the better of you.
Beak Hookage 11 months ago
My dad told me that if he ever starts sporting a combover I have his permission to take him out the back and shoot him.
pug nose curly tail 11 months ago
I got a wave perm in the 5th grade. It didn't "take" very well and I was so heartbroken.
#12
My grandmother sadly had to enter a TB sanitarium when she still had a handful of children at home. A couple of older sibs moved back home to help raise them. Eventually my grandfather started seeing another (married) woman in their small rural community. (My mother always said that once her mom learned of the affair, "she just gave up" and died at the sanitarium. This was about 3 years before the advent of antibiotics that might have cured her.)
So now grandfather was widowed, his youngest two kids moved to town to finish out high school by themselves, and the Other Woman had a baby that was putatively her (still) husband's child. I don't remember if her husband died or they divorced, but by the time I came along, my grandfather was married to the Other Woman, and had been for decades.
He was the patriarch of our very large family, the only grandparent I ever knew, though surely he couldn't have picked me out of a lineup, along with his dozens of other grandchildren. Anyway, this side of the family was fun, gregarious, beer drinking, Catholic church attending, poker players. Once during a pretty lubricated family get-together, the Affair Baby, now a grown woman, said something like: "I just don't know where I belong in this family" (because supposedly she was no blood kin to any of us). My lovely Drunk Uncle Nick said: "Well hell, you're our SISTER!" I was about 12. I swear the windows rattled from the seismic release of emotions over what was finally acknowledged.
Ash 11 months ago
I was looking through some genealogical stuff at my gma's a few years ago and suddenly discovered that my great-great-grandmother's first child was conceived out of wedlock and was a half-sibling to my great-grandfather. Nobody had ever mentioned it, but not because it was some big secret. They were like, "You didn't know?" HOW WOULD I KNOW THAT. lol
Kabuki Kitsune 11 months ago
To clear up something for everyone: TB Sanitoriums were, at least until around the late 50's, early 60's, considered to be more 'hospice' care than actual hospitals. Nine out of every ten people who entered one of those specialized hospitals... died. This was so common place, that in some communities it was very common for spouses (both men, and women) to behave as though the loved one who had entered the sanitorium, were already dead, and move on with another. Furthermore, if someone entered the sanitoriums, odds were also high that they'd simply never be seen again. Though this changed somewhat around the time a good treatment for TB was discovered, for the longest time it was standard procedure to cremate the bodies of those who died from TB. Quite often, within 15 minutes of the heart's stopping being confirmed. Then, the cremated remains would be scattered, or buried on site. The remains were RARELY returned to the family.
Julia Mckinney 11 months ago
I love the twist at the end. It starts out sad with the Tuberculosis (but I should add that grandma may have died anyway depending on the timeline of her illness, TB antibiotics weren't used widely until after WW2) but ends with a good feeling.
#13
My wife once made some kind of chicken with a chocolate glaze.... we don't ever speak of that evil lest it rise again!
Hmmm hmmmm 11 months ago
Eggcelent gag , I'm just fact chicken your response, but I'm sure it's sweet
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Julia Mckinney 11 months ago
Honey, is that you? (I tried a mole sauce one time, never again (maybe, at least til I figure out what I did wrong))
Tom Brincefield 11 months ago
Only way to get it right is to keep trying.
Load More Replies... Still Going 10 months ago
Hahaha, it was the Asian Chicken Salad for my brother! He taught himself how to cook after moving out, using a beginner's cookbook. That salad, though, was a spectacular failure! It went down the disposal, and we still joke about something evil crawling back up - the Son of Chicken Salad - to avenge his father. (Stay tuned for sequel!) 😂
BossyHossy1 11 months ago
My sister and I were saving for an Alaskan vacation, so money was tight and she stretched our food budget like crazy. She once made fish patties covered in a creamed corn, pork and beans, Velveeta, ketchup and mayonnaise sauce. I managed a few bites and noticed that she didn't have a plate. When I asked why, she said that she ate earlier and held up a Whataburger bag. I almost caught her before she got upstairs. She was laughing hysterically and said that she put it all together and spit out the only bite she managed. I got Whataburger, too, and we made menus from there on. Alaska for 13 days was glorious!!
#14
Oh, in my family, it’s definitely the mysterious ‘potluck fight of 2016.’ Like, no one will tell me exactly what happened, but apparently, it involved my aunt’s potato salad, my grandma’s deviled eggs, and my uncle making a ‘harmless joke’ that escalated into full-on chaos. 😬
All I know is that someone stormed out, my mom ended up crying, and to this day, the phrase ‘potato salad’ is basically a trigger word at family gatherings. We’ve all collectively agreed to just pretend it didn’t happen, but the tension every time someone brings a dish to share? Palpable. 🥴
Family secrets are so weird, right?
KatSaidWhat 11 months ago
Anyone else wishing they could take potato salad to one of their gatherings?
Nikki Gross 10 months ago
We don't talk about the Family reunion at Great Uncle Hambone's farm. It involved homemade wine, whiskey, moonshine and traumatized livestock, wildlife and the fish in the pond on his property. I know there's pictures and a couple of people had camcorders. I think there is a unspoken agreement that nothing will be shown until we're all dead and gone. I'm just glad that it was before camera phones, because I can guarantee some Motherfūcker would have posted that s**t on the internet.
Celtic Pirate Queen 11 months ago (edited)
OMG - 4th of July back in 1988 (?) and I brought "my" potato salad, which was always requested, to the potluck at my Mom's. She decided to "fix" my salad and added all kinds of weird sh*t: marjoram, oregano, etc. I took one bite and threw the whole bowl in the garbage so no one would think I had made that monstrosity.
#15
My brother SAing me from age 6-12.
Finding videos of him recording girls at school....like under their skirts and stuff like that without them knowing.
Me trying to reason with my mom that he needed help after a s***ide attempt....but she didn't listen.
He...left a s***ide note saying cremate me and sped and crashed his truck.
After he died went through his computer and it was filled with even more videos he took of girls at school.
But my mom REFUSES to the core to say it was a s***ide. Talk about the note, talk about the behavior that led up to it. Refuses to discuss or bring up any of the findings.....refuses to acknowledge my sexual trauma in any capacity....the family doesn't talk about any of it. Thats a big fat sack of nope.
Earonn - 11 months ago
Sacrificing the daughter in order to protect the son. F**k that mother. May she suffer what she made her daughter (and who knows how many others) suffer. I said what I said.
Joe Reaves 11 months ago
It wasn't even to protect the son. It's clear the son knew he had a serious problem and wanted to stop his horrific behaviour, but because the mother wouldn't even acknowledge the problem he didn't get any and killed himself. It's highly likely, since the behaviour seems to have started young, that he was a victim of abuse himself.
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The Starsong Princess 11 months ago
She failed him almost as much as she failed you and she can’t bear to think about it.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 11 months ago
Denial and lying to one's self can be incredibly powerful and impossible for someone else to help or break. I know this way, way too well.
#16
My aunt. She abandoned my grandmother on her death bed leaving my dad to sort out everything. After he did the only thing she cared about was the money, didn’t even try to show up for the funeral. F**k you Kelly, you hateful, conniving, racist c**t. She won’t even talk to her own daughter (my cousin), because she had kids with and married a black man. They’re happily married BTW.
Bill Walker 11 months ago
I've never understood racism. It just isn't a logical conclusion to ever come to. As a fellow human spinning relentlessly on this rock I can only attribute it to a lack of belonging, attachment issues, and perpetuated hatred. We are not born to hate!
Michael Largey 11 months ago (edited)
Racial superiority if for people who can think of nothing else superior about themselves.
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Anne Roberts 11 months ago
When my husband died his family said they would sue. to get all his money. They didn't know that he had cheated on his taxes and owed $30,000. He left me ten of thousands of dollars in unpaid bills. I was not named beneficiary of his retirement account as he told them he was single Oh, I did "inherit" his 8 year old car
Jay Scales 11 months ago
You are far better not to even give her headspace. What a waste of a human being.
#17
On my dad's side: my parental grandmother died from "complications from diabetes" when my dad was in his 20s. My grandfather was dating a woman he knew less than three months later.
The elephant in the room is that my grandmother, who to be fair had mental illness issues, k*lled herself by putting herself into a diabetic coma after finding out my grandfather was cheating.
#18
The fact that my father is likely responsible for the disappearance of his 1st wife.
Pandemonium 11 months ago
I hope dad was a magician and his first wife was his on-stage assistant
KazzaHazza 11 months ago
Two ways you could read this, either she disappeared because she’d had enough of him and wanted to do a runner, or… 😵
Ace 11 months ago
Yeah, I think, sadly, it's the latter that is implied here.
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Michael Largey 11 months ago
"I always refer to my wife as the Dear Departed." "Oh, she died?" "No, she just departed."
#19
Autism. We're all autistic. I'm just the one who got my kids diagnosed.
I absolutely cannot have that conversation with my mother. She used to have meltdowns over how I wasn't masking very well. Not the words she'd use, of course.
Tropical Tarot 11 months ago (edited)
You're weird, you're strange,you're too sensitive. Just ignore him. That's what you grow up hearing when a neurodivergent. I didn't learn till I was 55.
Otto Katz 11 months ago
I'm 67,just found out I've been masking my whole life a few months ago. I wonder if it would be worth it to get formally diagnosed.
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Jenna Kay 11 months ago
My father just could not understand why we were getting my daughter treated. She was just "eccentric" in his mind. The counseling and educational plans she was allowed to have made a huge difference in her life. She lives on her own, has a job, and makes sure her coworkers know so that she gets the assistance she needs. She is gifted in some things, and her diagnosis and our acceptance let her live a good life.
Big Chungus 11 months ago
Sometimes it's hard for my parents to really accept that autism is a thing because the word wasn't what it was now back in the 60s-70s
Rebecca McManus 10 months ago
My whole family is autistic except my niece and BiL, the only one who got a diagnosis was my daughter because she was having difficulty coping with being different, that's helped her so it's fine, the rest of us just roll with it
My O My 11 months ago
It's hard to be a mom of a borderline autist. Kiddo is 8, and I never really know if he is acting out because he is overstimulated (is that the right phrasing?) or if he is currently just being an 8yo like all of them. He is my eldest child. I just don't know how "normal" 8yo behave
#20
My Mother sleeping with my BIL while he was still married to my sister. Big time family drama.
Pandemonium 11 months ago
Considering the damage that must've caused it would have had to have been the best sex in the history of humanity to have been worth it.
Gracie Mae 10 months ago
How good does sex have to be to destroy a family and lose your children?
#21
One Christmas, we had to pretend my cousin wasn’t 7 months pregnant because her dad “didn’t know.” She was thin as a rail with a big beach ball belly. Denial was strong in that part of the family.
KatSaidWhat 11 months ago
"Just had some pasta". TBF, I look pregnant sometimes thanks to epic bloating. It's great for getting train/bus seats if I'm tired or they are rammed.
#22
My mom had a brother who was a couple of years older than her. From what I’ve put together, he was autistic and was sent away for electric shock therapy some time in the 50s/60s, which eventually k*lled him.
We have no idea when he died, or where he is buried. My mother apparently found out when her parents casually mentioned it over dinner when she asked how he was doing. My grandfather (with whom I grew up with) refused to speak about him. Would change the subject or leave the room if he was asked anything about him.
The only evidence we have of his existence is a picture of him and my mother when they were children, and some forms from the hospital he was in describing an episode where he was hitting and scratching the nurses. Just really sad all around.
Panda Kicki 11 months ago
I knew a similar case where I met an old lady whose brother had been put in a institution and never being mentioned again. I was 40 years ago but I managed to track him and arrange a visit. They just hugged forever. So many lost years.
Pollywog 11 months ago
What a wonderfully beautiful thing you did for them!! 💜🥰
Load More Replies... Jay Scales 11 months ago
Sadly, this was WAY too common decades ago. People felt that any admission of mental health issues was a huge stain on the family. I know this personally.
tee-lena 11 months ago
My mom's side has a history of fibromyalgia, as well as mental disorders. Two separate things. But, at least one of the women was institutionalized for the same thing I have. There is a reason institutions were shut down
Load More Replies... Beak Hookage 11 months ago
This is one reason why I'm so hypersensitive to all that nonsense about autism being anything other than something you're just born with, and that it can be "cured" with bleach enemas and essential oils or whatever. It's not just that it's harming children. It's KILLING THEM. People like me have been getting murdered by our own families since time immemorial, all because they can't or won't accept that we're not sick. Some won't even accept that we're human, let alone that we need acceptance and support rather than bullying, shunning, and sometimes outright torture.
Trisec Tebeakesse 11 months ago
Oog. I live in Waltham - home to the infamous Fernald School. Out in the nearby woods is the "Met-Fern" cemetery. Which is just stones with numbers on them. Somebody knows their names.
#23
The fact that I have two half sisters…….my dad cheated on my mom. My mom knows about one of the girls, not the other. Ancestry DNA for the win……no one says a word because we don’t want mom to have to relive that trauma.
Tom Brincefield 11 months ago
I've actually been surprised. Ancestry DNA has only turned up known cousins for me. My dad was a truck driver and didn't bother with self-control. But apparently he did bother with birth control. Or they haven't done DNA testing.
Gracie Mae 10 months ago
you really do need to be prepared for that possibility when doing those tests. the results can definitely be the stuff nightmares are made of
#24
My dad beat the living s**t out of me and my brother very frequently. Almost every time he got drunk, he would either slap us till we fell down, haymaker swings at us until we ko'ed, jump kick/round house kicks us till we ko'ed. It was scary every night. Then we both grew bigger than him, I confronted him once when he was about to do it again. It stopped then and there, and we never talked about it since. I'm 40 now, and this happened throughout my childhood well into my late teens.
Weasel Wise 11 months ago
This happened with my mom...except she was often sober and being a POS. Finally, when I was 16yo, I was clearly physically stronger and she knew it. She would make sure to keep a table between us cuz she knew if she hit me again, there would be hell to pay. Once, she even offered to go outside and fist fight in the front yard. I said okay and she immediately deflected with something else. Good christian, christ-fearing people to this day. I can't wait to speak at their funerals and let all their church friends hear some truth.
Donna Peluda 11 months ago
Same with my mum. At 14 I stop her arm and raised my first. I wish there was a hell so she could be there
Joy Chapman 11 months ago
I don't care what anybody tells you: There is no God-fearing man with a husband-fearing wife and no God-fearing adult with a parent-fearing child. A true allegiance with God promotes nurturing. If there is allegiance to God, there is no bullying and abuse. If there is abuse and bullying, there is no allegiance to God. It really is that simple.
Celtic Pirate Queen 11 months ago (edited)
My Dad was abusive to my Mom. They both thought I (the oldest of 4) didn't know. They divorced when I was 8. Years later I went to live with my Dad for high school. He was still drinking at the time. I don't remember exactly why, but he slapped me. Without even thinking, I slapped him back just as hard. Before he had the chance to attack me I told him, "I am not my Mother and don't you ever put your f*cking hands on me again". Wow, did THAT shut him up. He didn't speak to me for weeks after.
Oops 11 months ago
My so called "Mum" used to slap my face only i was being. Once the idea arose in me, i was getting older and stronger, and she was getting older and weaker.When i was 14 she just punched me for just standing in a corner or being alive or something in her sick head, i started to beat like a windmill at her, i was a head smaller than her anyway, but she was such a coward, she retreated instantly and had a look of deadly fear in her eyes - the mouse struck back - that wasnt on her plan.
#25
My late uncle had schizophrenia or something schizophrenia adjacent, things weren’t bad enough to force him into treatment but mental illness was completely undeniable. I once asked family if he’d been taken to a doctor to see if there was something diagnosable he could have been helped with and you’d think I’d kicked a baby. That uncle is “a little weird” and that’s the end of that conversation.
Tempest 11 months ago
My late uncle was (most likely) bipolar. Definitive diagnosis is unknown but he was unstable, being medicated & going in & out of hospitals. He eventually died from an incorrect d**g prescription (probably lithium overdose). Nobody pursued legal action because the hospitals have a way of overlooking medical mistakes, something only the best & most expensive legal teams can fight. While his death was acknowledged, nobody ever spoke of his illness or cause of death because mental disorders were seen as a shame. I only learnt all this by putting together the pieces myself as an adult cause after years of hiding it all, no one alive knows the exact details anymore. He was a gifted sculptor. He didn’t work & lived with my grandma making the most beautiful sculptures as a hobby. He taught my siblings & I how to paint them. When he died the house was filled with his creations but his brother threw it all away, erasing his existence forever. If he got the proper help he could have been saved.
Brian Droste 11 months ago
So sad that all of his sculptures were thrown away if they were remarkable.
Load More Replies... Weasel Wise 11 months ago
I was an elementary school teacher, specifically worked with autistic kids. Per my professional recommendation, I suggested to my mom she get my younger sister tested for autism so that she could get extra help in school (she really struggled to even get C grades). Same reaction, I might of well have kicked a baby; she was so upset and angry. And it was never brought up again.
ILoveMySon 10 months ago (edited)
My uncle was the same. However, his problem was due to "epilepsy". Sadly, he was never treated.
Oops 11 months ago
in my time "inappropriate" people were kicked out of everything, looked upon, thank you , christian people, explain this to me, how do you connect this to your so much celebrated charity. You have false faces, being self-rightous, and then being in church howling hymns and feeling to be the best people on the world.
#26
My Great Aunt.
She and my grandma (her sister) hate each other so much that I didn't even know she existed until I was 30 and I was accidentally shown a picture with her in it. I still don't know why they stopped talking and grandma is obviously not willing to talk about it at all.
The funny thing is, I know my great aunt's children. They're really close to my grandma and come to every holiday dinner. I always knew they were related to me, I just never knew how.
Earthquake903 11 months ago
My sister hates me due to lies told her by our father. So glad he suffered before he died.
CrunChewy McSandybutt 11 months ago (edited)
I mean, if the great aunt's kids are spending the holidays with grandma, then I suspect that great aunt ain't so great.
Pink kitty 11 months ago
Possibly over a guy?? They both liked and one 'stole' him from the other
RedHairedDragon 11 months ago
My late grandfather had several siblings. They constantly switched from hating each other to loving each other. There were never a single moment when everyone got along. They often became mad at each other over simple things, like "he wasn't sad enough at my friends funeral" or "she didn't sound sincere over phone the other day"
#27
My blood type doesn't make sense. My mother is a B+, father is an O-. I donated blood in college and found out I'm A+. I brought it up in a casual "This is interesting, I must be a medical anomaly!" way and was immediately and brusquely shut down. I DNA matched to my paternal cousin on Ancestry, but no one else in the family would do a DNA test. There's more questions than answers. Considering I no longer talk to my bio parents or a majority of my family due to other things we don't talk about (like addiction, mental health and abuse), I doubt I'll ever get an answer.
LuckyL 11 months ago
I'd say it's to wrong use of bio parents, or at least for one of them.
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Connie Hirsch 11 months ago
There's some hinkiness going on with my Mom and maternal aunt's blood types, because if it's actually as they reported, their paternal contribution wasn't possible (two parental type Os, one daughter an A). When I was doing some blood type sleuthing back in college, I decided that I wouldn't inquire further, since it was depending on memory that they'd gotten the blood types right (grandparents dead by then) and it could be shocking news to them, possibly. Still think I did the right thing.
KatSaidWhat 11 months ago
Apparently my green eyes are a "genetic anomaly" as the only person in every generation, both sides, to not have blue eyes...
Katharina Sei. 11 months ago
Green eyes are somewhat to blue eyes like blue eyes are to brown eyes. Green eyes are VERY rare and only show under special conditions.
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Shauna Patton 11 months ago
I'm O+ (I know this for a fact, as I donate blood regularly), but my mom says that's impossible and is convinced that I'm AB+, based on her and my father's blood type, she refuses to believe the American Red Cross.
Gracie Mae 10 months ago
get your own answers by doing the research that goes along with the dna testing on those sites. It will be well worth it if you're looking for answers. With over 21 million people in their database, there's a good chance you'll find those answers, and maybe end up with a family that you do talk to.
Katharina Sei. 11 months ago
Probably the "bio mother" is not the real bio mother. (Otherwise B would have shown.) Maybe OP was an affair kid or from a pregnancy of someone related.
Tom Brincefield 11 months ago
It's not difficult for a parent with type A & a parent with type B to have a child with type B. Or type A, or type AB, or type O. Genetics is fun. Now that it is possible for parents with type B & type O to save a child with type A. But it would require the type O parent to be a chimera, which would be incredibly unlikely.
Load More Replies... #28
I have an older sister I have never met. My dad got a girl pregnant in high school and refused to marry her. She gave the baby up for adoption. It was a closed adoption in the 60s so I would not even know where to look for her. I found out one night years ago when my dad had too much to drink and told me. Both of my parents are now deceased. They would never talk to me about it after that one time.
Jill Rhodry 11 months ago
Extremely common for the time period - perhaps a DNA test and see what relies are out there
rullyman 11 months ago
Yes, lots of long lost relatives are finding each other online because of at home kits. But then your DNA is on a database forever, so you have to weigh up the cons of that too
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Grumpy Old Broad 11 months ago
Wow. I was given up for adoption in the 60s because my bio mom tried to trap my bio dad into marriage by getting pregnant. I know I have a younger brother, and both his parents are now deceased. I actually know my brother's name and found him on Facebook but haven't reached out because I don't want to upset him if he doesn't know about me. Wouldn't it be wild.....?
Just stopping by 10 months ago
Try to do it but with no expectations. And accept the response given. But nothing wrong with trying.
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Ruth Watry 11 months ago
23&Me and Ancestry can help find family. There was a gentleman who found that I was first cousin once removed (23&Me). He was born in 1946 and had no idea who is mother was. It took a little time, but I was able to help him figure out who his dad was (cousin of my mom who was in the right place at the right time to father him). He was 74 and now knows who his dad was (dad had passed in 1989) and has been able to reach out to half siblings
WinterLady 11 months ago
My father was engaged before my mother. All I know about it is that she left him and moved away. But before she did, she told him she was pregnant. No idea if it was true, or said just to hurt him. I don't know her name or anything about her. Since I heard the little bit I do know, I have always wondered if I have a half sibling out there somewhere.
LinkTheHylian 11 months ago
I have five siblings I've never met, two older and three younger, from my bio-dad's side. And I don't intend to meet them because we all have our own lives to get on with.
#29
Both my parents cheated on each other. All my aunts and uncles got divorced but my parents stayed together and drank and fought and supposedly that was better.
Gracie Mae 10 months ago
having grown up in a household with domestic violence, i can guarantee it is NOT better to stay together for the sake of the kids!
#30
How my uncle Freddy k*lled his girlfriend by pushing her out the back door in the middle of the winter I left her to freeze to death. He got off because of lack of evidence. Half a family won't talk to him now and the other half take pity and pay for his bills and help him after his bankruptcy.
Littlemiss 11 months ago
Oh dear Uncle Freddy got left outside on a cold day, we forgot about him. He should face the same consequences.
#31
My real dad overdosed, later my step dad adopted me and they had my little sister. My sister has no idea we don’t share a dad and I was never able to discuss the grief of finding my dead dad.
#32
A good portion of my father’s family live(d) on the same street. My great-aunt never came into my grandparent’s house and I didn’t think anything of it until I was older and noticed she’d just stay outside or we’d go to her house to say hello. Turns out, my great-grandfather shot himself in the house and she was the one who found him. No one talks about it but my mother finally told me in my early 30s.
#33
Death/ dead family members in general. But specifically, I had an older brother that died when he was a couple days old. That was 3 years before I was born and 6 before my sister.
My parents took me and my sister to a cemetery one day, I think we were 13 and 11 by then. We walked up to a small headstone and they explained that we had a brother. That was it. That was the last time he was talked about (by my parents, my sister and I talked about it a few times). They didn't even tell us how he died.
When my grandpa died, he was buried 2 plots down from my brother, neither my mom or dad said anything. When my mom died, she was buried next to him. I did see my dad standing over his headstone and crying.
Actually, now I remember about a year after my mom died, I had dinner with my dad and finally asked him. Turns out my brother died of a heart issue and my dad didn't really even know if it was a fluke or if it was congenital (would have been nice to know).
Glen Ellyn 11 months ago
My mother always insisted that her father was an only child. One day, I asked my grandfather if he had any siblings. He told me yes, but that his brother had died at age 13. My mother refused to believe it when I mentioned it to her. I went on to discover that actually there had been a third son who died at age 6 months. My grandfather, being the oldest child, would have been about 4 or 5 at that time so I can understand that he might have forgotten about the baby. Back then, it was more common to lose a child and perhaps the family preferred not to talk about it.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 11 months ago
My best friend died because her father lied to her mother about his heart condition having a genetic component. I wish I was kidding. When they were dating, the dad told the mom it was just a birth defect, knowing full well it was genetic. They had three kids. One died a few days after birth (he had the heart defect), one died when he was 18 (also had the heart defect, but so mild it went undetected until he mildly ODed on drúgs; the drúgs themselves wouldn't have killed him, but they messed with his heart and he died in his sleep), and then my best friend - who had not only the heart defect but a congenital lung defect as well - died at the age of 24 while waiting desperately for a transplant that would have saved her life. I still miss you, Rachel. Your father was a prime ässhole.
Mae 11 months ago
I am so sorry for your loss Lakota, that's so heartbreaking. <3
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Hellcaste's Wife 11 months ago
We lost our daughter at 2 months to SIDS. The kids have always known about her, we honor her birthday and Angel Day...I couldn't imagine not telling the kids. That's just so sad!
Dar Mal 11 months ago
Wasn't there a story on BP a few months ago (so I really should say REDDIT!) about a woman whose mother required the siblings to leave a setting at family gatherings for an unborn or "not long for this world" brother/sister? And how the OP found the mother arranging the family table at OP's wedding and OP going nuts?
#34
My grandfather distributed d***s in the 70s. He had a property in Mayfair that was later seized by the police. He was imprisoned for 7 years in the 80s. I found out a few years ago. It’s really weird because we’re a part of a ‘respectable’ family with conservative values.
Magenta Blu 11 months ago
My uncle smuggled cok41ne to Europe from Latin America several times while everyone believed he was a successful engineer and experimented himself with every available hallucinogen substance he could. But no one will aknowledge this and he is perceived as the purest man alive, when in reality he is a selfish old man who only knows how to play victim and take advantage of his niece guilt tripping her.
LukewarmSoymilk 11 months ago
A lot of conservatives love doing unconservative things when nobody's watching.
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Wintermute 11 months ago
Sure, in one post we all support the gay relative, then in the next one we consider them the bad guy? So what if he was distributing dlcks? To each their own. /s
#35
My uncle died because he overdosed on viagra. The funeral was awkward because no one wanted to say why he passed.
Ace 11 months ago
Yeah, no. Lethal dose of Viagra for a healthy person is in the order of 1000 50mg tablets. The very rare reported cases I could find had other major health issues that were exacerbated by it.
LukewarmSoymilk 11 months ago
Might've been counterfeit Viagra, or a substance similar to Viagra that OP's uncle overdosed on. An acquaintance of mine took some shady "Viagra" on vacation in Thailand. He ended up in hospital and barely survived.
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#36
These are all so dark. In my family we don’t talk about when my great uncle tried to start an astronomy shop at the mall and it didn’t work out. Also the word in scrabble we wouldn’t let him play 10 years ago (he still won’t play with us).
B 11 months ago
I just bought a game that combines Scrabble & Monopoly. It makes for a tense family game night :)
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KatSaidWhat 11 months ago
I put c**t down in an online game with my father. He forfeited the game.
#37
The fact that my great aunt and great uncle’s “adopted” daughter bore more than a passing resemblance to my great-uncle and an ex-girlfriend of his.
Glen Ellyn 11 months ago
A case of a married couple being parents to their half-sibling, perhaps?
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#38
My moms drinking.
KatSaidWhat 11 months ago
My mother's drinking is now my drinking but at least I don't have kids to abuse.
Weasel Wise 11 months ago (edited)
Same Boat Buddies! Silliness aside, I'm sorry you were abused as a kid. You didn't deserve anything other than love and protection. ... If you're like me and really struggle to lessen/quit drinking (I started drinking as a child to cope with my home life), I'm experiencing a lot of success with a medication called naltrexone. I hardly have cravings and abstaining has been MUCH easier. I haven't had a drop of alcohol in almost a month and I am SOOOOO proud of myself!
Load More Replies... Bay Bo 11 months ago
Sshhh, As long as she washes laundry, dishes, toilet, gets all the groceries, cooks all the meals, cleans up, vacuums, brushes lil kiddos teeth, gets u guys to dr n dentist appointments, reads bedtime stories n sings songs n plays games, etc....shhhhh, let's not talk of this
#39
Hoarding. Especially my mother’s. Since it is not as bad as her sister’s or sister-in-law’s it’s not hoarding. I’m sorry but if you have rooms that are packed full of stuff and the rooms and items in them are unusable it’s hoarding.
#40
Anything positive.
It's all a competition. They are the most judgemental bunch of a******s you've ever met.
Tabitha 11 months ago
Unfortunately, the world seems to be full of people who can only feel good about themselves if they succeed in making someone else feel worse, and way too many of them get out in positions of authority, for some f****d up reason. Please, please, please raise your children to be empathetic, to be happy for other people’s successes, and to forget about one-upping and tearing down other people. Please. Let’s try to raise whole generations of good human beings, and weed the a******s out of the gene pool.
#41
When my grandmother was on life support it came out that she and my grandfather had divorced for a period of time and were set to marry other people, but dumped them at the altar and married each other again.
And this happened when my dad and uncle were like late teens/early twenties so they knew about it and were still like "eh" when this big secret came out. I'm nosy, I need the gossip!
Tropical Tarot 11 months ago
My parents divorced when I was in college in the late 80s. They played boomerang got together got engaged broke up got together again. And finally got married about 2 years before my father's death so my mother could inherit his pension.
#42
The fact that my dad beat the s**t out of me as a kid and terrorized me. I in turn did the same to my little brother. Mums the word every time I bring it up.
박소연 11 months ago
That happened to me too. Not exactly my dad beating me but he did to my younger brother which ended up with me getting hit
LakotaWolf (she/her) 11 months ago
Yep. My mom used to tell me when I was a child about how her father and mother both beat her and whipped her, which... led her to beating and abusing me all throughout my childhood. She would say how horrible her childhood was, from all the abuse and fear, and then would seemingly have no problem beating me or slamming me repeatedly into the walls. Generational trauma is terrible, and the abuse is no one's fault, but the abused child (who becomes an abuser as an adult) has a responsibility to try and get help if they can, and not just visit the abuses they endured unto the next generation.
Load More Replies... #43
That my biological grandmother committed s***ide when my mom was only 16.
I knew my step-grandmother was my step-grandmother my whole life and I knew my mom's mother had died long before I was born. It wasn't until I was 10 or 11 that my mom finally told me how her mother died. That's the only time we've really talked about her death. I know that she was a pretty good mom all things considered and my mom thought she would have been a good grandmother to me if she hadn't had severe depression when she was in her 40s. We never really bring her up at family gatherings. We don't really talk about my mom and my aunt's childhoods. It's really sad because my step-grandmother was abusive as hell towards me and she is the reason why my mom didn't get to see her dad much after I was born.
*raspberry sound 11 months ago
I'm currently struggling with severe depression in my 40's. I wouldn't say I've come close to harming myself, but the thoughts have sure become darker.
My O My 11 months ago
If you are in a place where health care is a thing, go to the doctor please. We are many, no need not to go because you might be ashamed. There is help out there for you! You are not alone
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#44
*tl;dr version: Step bro went crazy and chopped his c**k off. Is now a ward of the state.
Only around my mom, but we tend to shy away from the story of how my step brother ended up in a group home for those who would be a danger to themselves and others.
40 year old step brother is a massive POS. Has held 3 jobs in his entire time on earth but has easily dropped well over 5 digit sums on natty ice and mini bottles. Mom would coddle him because “no where else to go.”
Well, shocker he ends up having a seizure after snorting a 30 day supply of benzos in 3 days combined with two 36 packs of beer.
When he gets out, he can’t walk all that well but he had nothing physically wrong with him so the nurses and PT folks coming by were all “yeah, he can walk but for some reason refuses to.”
The reason is that once he was back on his feet we’d start back in with “Clean your room, take a shower more than once every 3 months and get a f*****g job.”
My mom, bless her stupid a*s decides “I’ll just wait on him hand and foot like he’s bedridden until he’s ready to walk again.” She ends up having a stroke from the stress.
F**kface BOLTED from his bedroom when we started yelling at her to stay conscious. Soon as the cops and EMS left I pulled him aside and started beating him to the point my dad had to put me in a headlock and pull me off.
Mom is back home after a stay in the hospital and now she can’t (and thankfully won’t) wait on him hand and foot or go pick him up beer because his ID is expired. We settle right back in to “get a f*****g job, or get out. Mom will not save you this time.”
So like a week or so goes by. I’m playing a game in my room on my day off and hear these like, pained moans coming from his room. I hold my nose, open the door and am greeted to the sight of him butt a*s naked, scissors in hand and halfway through chopping his own c**k off.
When I try and stop him he takes a stab at me with the same scissors and came close to catching me in the eye. So I was like “lol nah, you go ahead and finish up. Just gonna call the cops, part of me hopes they just unload on your psycho a*s.”
Sadly they showed remarkable restraint compared to how the LA Sheriffs usually behave and ended up pepper spraying him after he tossed the scissors and his own c**k at the first two through the door.
Still tries to call me once or twice a year when they allow phone calls for holidays, I always answer. “You dead yet? Damn. Always next year.”.
SleepyVampire 11 months ago
Sounds like he was suffering from some pretty severe metal health issues.
KatSaidWhat 11 months ago
Yeah, that amount of d***s and alcohol in that short time will most certainly do some mental damage. Surprised he survived that tbh.
Load More Replies... Tabitha 11 months ago
Now, don’t get me wrong, I have a lot of sympathy for those experiencing psychological breaks. I really do, and all I want for them is to get the help they need so they can live the rest of their lives in relative peace. But. Imagine being one of those first two cops through the door and having to write the report stating that when they walked into the room, a severed penis was thrown at them. Cripes.
#45
My parents enabling my d**g addict con artist brother to the point they were completely broke because they didn’t have the heart to see him go to prison again (where he rightfully deserved to be.).
#46
My mom's bio dad. Was an addict (not sure of his DOC), abusive, and probably had bipolar 1. After my grandmother finally divorced him he committed s***ide and left a 9 page note detailing how his deceased mother and sister were telling him the truth of the universe or something along those lines. My moms younger sister skipped school on the day he died and happened to be driving by as the police brought his body out.
Sandella 11 months ago
We are now more aware of mental.illnesses and the signs to spot which were previously just ignored or vilified. So you will hear this a lot, get used to it.
Load More Replies... #47
That my mom is actually my stepmom. I've learned of it when I was very young from a cousin. Back then I used to think your birth mom is more 'important.' Now it's completely the opposite. My parents didn't tell me until like a decade after I already knew.
Tabitha 11 months ago (edited)
Sometimes the stereotypes can be very wrong. Having children of your own doesn’t automatically make you a wonderful parent, and being a step parent doesn’t automatically make you evil. A birth parent could be a horrible person who should never be anywhere near a child, much less have one of their own. A step parent can be the best and most wonderful person a child could have as a parent, even if they don’t have any biological children.
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Charlie the Cat 11 months ago
I took on my little girl when she was 1 years old. She is now 8. I may not be her biological father, but I am 100% her Dad. We haven't told her yet. We will, but when I think she is old enough to understand.
BarfyCat 11 months ago
I would encourage you to talk to her as early as possible. I'm an adoptive parent. All the classes we had to take said tell them from Day 1 so it's as normalized as possible. An 8yo is definitely old enough to understand. Please don't wait until puberty, because it could go very badly!!!
Load More Replies... #48
D**g addiction has been an issue for my mom’s side of the family for the past four generations. I’m the only adult that’s not an addict.
CF 11 months ago
Ouch. Wish I'd had the genetic luck and blessing of having learned good emotional intelligence and mental health management to have been able to break the cycle in my family. Fortunately I've broken it in another way, by not reproducing.
Load More Replies... Chicken Mitten 11 months ago
Addiction has a large genetic component and this is why is should be talked about.
#49
That my second cousin’s mom isn’t her bio mom. My dads cousin was a surgeon for smile train, went to Guatemala to fix palettes, and came back with a baby he “adopted,” much to his wife’s surprise. Turns out he impregnated some woman down there and brought the baby home. We kept his now ex-wife and my cousin in the family and dropped the cheating surgeon like a hot potato and just don’t talk about it.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 11 months ago
My mom sometimes (maybe sarcastically? it's hard to tell with her) talks about how my sister and I might have "half-siblings" in Vietnam, because my dad served in the Air Force during the Vietnam War. I can't even do Ancestry or 23andme to find out, though, because I was adopted at birth, and I'm not my parents' bio child. My sister is, but I don't think she'd agree to DNA testing
Hellcaste's Wife 11 months ago
I had an older brother (deceased now) who went to Vietnam during the war...Apparently, I have a niece there who is only 3 years younger than me (there was 17 years between me and my brother). I've frequently wondered about her over the last 40+ years...
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Widdershins66 11 months ago
Charity for third world children with cleft lips, palettes etc.
Load More Replies... #50
Did some research on my grandparents and learned my Grandfather, his siblings and parents were all illegal immigrants to the U.S Not only that but they likely were connected to illegal horse gambling rings out of Lexington Kentucky. They came kinda legally to Canada on work visas from England but then border jumped to the States.
This alone wouldn't bother me but my family are all racist right wing nut jobs that talk constant trash about immigrants.
Oh and also my Grandma was half-native...and racist af.
#51
My eldest paternal uncle is likely the result of forced incest between my grandma and her father.
#52
I have a relative that served time for SAing a child. His step daughter. Nobody believes he did it but we don't talk about it. We also don't talk about how his ex wife beat me and my sister. Probably her kids too but I know for a fact us. We don't talk about the history of mental health issues in the family. We don't talk about the split that happened way back before even my mom was born that caused part of the family to change the way they spelled their last name. Basically we don't talk about bad things involving family members.
However, I will say my mom is starting to change that and has told me some things about what my father was like when they were together and even right after they separated. I've been asking practically my whole life but she's finally answering.
Amanda Fondaumiere 11 months ago
Let me just say for anyone that it may help, kids dont just accuse people of sexual assault. If its been said, get the kid some help and someone (police) need to look into it.
#53
Flemish landscape painters.
No one in my family really cares about them.
Pencil 11 months ago
It's just a joke. 'My family doesn't talk about [insert any obscure thing that very few people in the world talk about]'.
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#54
Mum tried to self delete and I had to drive her to hospital then brother hung him self and I had to get him down.
Then my childhood dog died.
#55
What I think is an unhealthy practice in my family is having no topics off limits. None. We lack verbal boundaries or the ability to stfu.
#56
When i was a little kid, my mom started telling me stories about how my grandma was a Witch and did sacrifices with babies in front of her as a kid and other horrible ritualistic stuff. Always thought my mom was crazy and the family agreed. Found out later through the grapevine that there was some weird stuff going on in the house when my mom and aunt were kids, and my aunt got SAd by some guy at one point. My aunt and everyone else gaslights about it to this day like nothing ever happened. I dont talk to any of them anymore because i feel like my moms mental illness was precipitated by whatever happened when she was a kid, which affected my childhood. Nobody admits to anything. Nobody discusses it.
#58
The m*rder. A body was stuffed into the crawlspace and everything.
#59
My uncle that removed himself from this world when I was four. Here simply does not exist in the memories of my father and his other brother. If anyone else mentions his name, they glide by it like you never said it. When I was working on my family tree, I actually had to post on Reddit for help finding his death date because both of them claimed not to remember even what year he died.
Magenta Blu 11 months ago (edited)
My mother also "removed herself from the world" about 14 or 15 years ago an I have to scratch my head for remembering the exact date. I don't even remember her face. I don't miss her... So why would I focus on remembering or talk about her at all?? I don't even remember when did my grandparents di3d...
#60
My mom's side of the family that she completely cut off and stopped talking to shortly after she met my dad, and long before I was born (I'm the firstborn), and has never mentioned, at all.
Bahama Mama 11 months ago
Why? They don't say why the mom cut the family off. It could have been her dad being abusive and making her cut them off. But we don't know because they gave no details.
Load More Replies... #61
My dad being in the closet his entire life apparently.
#62
My mum said once “you don’t talk about money, you have it.”
Made me laugh
Edit: what she meant was if you have money, you don’t really need to talk or argue about it, so if you don’t have money, f*cking get some then so we have less to talk about.
Tabitha 11 months ago (edited)
I’m not OP and don’t know their mother, so leave them to be the expert on what she meant. However, the saying I always heard was more like, “If you have money, you don’t talk about it”. Basically meaning don’t flaunt your wealth, which tbh is actually very sound advice.
#63
Everything that would even HINT to us being anything other than a picture-perfect, Brady Bunch family with no problems whatsoever. 🤮.
#64
My mother’s family always talk about a sibling that was stillborn. They sometimes talk as if the sibling existed, and act like they knew the sibling. I consider it a family secret. Something I’ll probably never know the true story. They will say poor poor “siblings name”. To me the sibling must have existed before death.
#65
My mother never talked about my father, who died when I was five. My sister and I would try once in a while, but she would always change the subject. 50+ years later, it still makes me sad.
Chicken Mitten 11 months ago
As it should. People are only truly gone when we stop talking about them. Poor, poor, OP
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LakotaWolf (she/her) 11 months ago
I found out that I was adopted by accident. I was 6 or 7 and was snooping around in my parents' bedroom upstairs. I found a Polaroid photo that showed a woman holding a baby in a hospital bed, and it was labeled "Rose and Crystal, 1982". My tiny brain gears whirred - MY name was Crystal, and *I* was born in 1982, but I didn't know anyone named Rose (my mom's name is Linda.) I toted the photo to my mom and said "Who's Rose?" My mom started crying. She called my dad to come home from work and they told me I was adopted (I didn't care that I was adopted, since I figured we adopted our dog Split and I loved Split like family, so it must have been the same kind of thing. Kid logic is weird.) I honestly do not know how long my parents would have waited to tell me I was adopted (if ever) if I hadn't found that photo.
Ace 11 months ago
I read the first sentence to mean that they accidentally adopted you. Took me a second or three. My wife was adopted too,, as was her (non-blood) brother. They both knew from a very young age but never felt bad about it in any way.
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Nils Skirnir 11 months ago
South Carolina, ca 1925. My great aunt was single, but was raped and had a daughter. The daughter was given to her sister and raised as hers. Always thought she was my grandmother. Ultimately my great aunt (real grandmother) had a hysterectomy at about 25 and could never have kids again. So who I thought was my grandmother was my great aunt and vice versa. Found this out when I was 30 Evidently the shame of rape was too much back then in old SC. And of course religion
KatSaidWhat 11 months ago
That my mother was an abusive alcoholic who neglected my brother and I so much after the divorce that her own father begged mine to come and collect us and keep us safe, which he did. And that my half cuntsister was conceived while my biofam were all still living together. I worked that out and told my father I knew when he asked why I didn't like my mother... Also said he didn't have to say a word and it was never spoken of again. My father is an utter gentleman to his own detriment when it comes to the ladies.
Caffeine72 11 months ago
Sooooo many secrets in my family. Justified patriticide, surprise cousins from DNA tests, hidden suicides, mafia hits, abandoned kids "adopted" by other family members. It's the gift that keeps on giving. My cousins and I get together and laugh at it all.
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 11 months ago
Accidentally overheard my mom talking about how she was sexually abused by a family friend as a child…
BookFanatic 11 months ago
This is incredibly tame by comparison. Turns out the wonderful woman my uncle married when I was nine...was what my grandmother referred to as a "homewrecking hussy." She and Uncle worked together and had an affair. Mom let it slip when I was a teenager and immediately ordered me to forget she said anything.
SkippityBoppityBoo 11 months ago
While I've always known that I'm adopted? I was told too many adoptive family secrets. I was too young to know. I don't care because it's too hurtful... I can't know, why are you telling me? Just Stop........ Some secrets are meant to be buried with the people who were involved. I'm 9yrs old... What do you want from me? Just go... It's why I emancipated myself as soon as I was legally allowed to. Some secrets are meant to be buried with the people involved and never mentioned. I grew up too fast, too young... And I cannot forgive any of them for that.
PenguinEmp 11 months ago
There was a family story that I dug up due to the family tree being a bit missing. I found some cousins but wasn't sure if we were related as I'd never heard of them. Turns out they are the kids of my a great uncle, who married his niece. They had kids. No one ever talked about them. Ever.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 11 months ago
I found out that I was adopted by accident. I was 6 or 7 and was snooping around in my parents' bedroom upstairs. I found a Polaroid photo that showed a woman holding a baby in a hospital bed, and it was labeled "Rose and Crystal, 1982". My tiny brain gears whirred - MY name was Crystal, and *I* was born in 1982, but I didn't know anyone named Rose (my mom's name is Linda.) I toted the photo to my mom and said "Who's Rose?" My mom started crying. She called my dad to come home from work and they told me I was adopted (I didn't care that I was adopted, since I figured we adopted our dog Split and I loved Split like family, so it must have been the same kind of thing. Kid logic is weird.) I honestly do not know how long my parents would have waited to tell me I was adopted (if ever) if I hadn't found that photo.
Ace 11 months ago
I read the first sentence to mean that they accidentally adopted you. Took me a second or three. My wife was adopted too,, as was her (non-blood) brother. They both knew from a very young age but never felt bad about it in any way.
Load More Replies... Nils Skirnir 11 months ago
South Carolina, ca 1925. My great aunt was single, but was raped and had a daughter. The daughter was given to her sister and raised as hers. Always thought she was my grandmother. Ultimately my great aunt (real grandmother) had a hysterectomy at about 25 and could never have kids again. So who I thought was my grandmother was my great aunt and vice versa. Found this out when I was 30 Evidently the shame of rape was too much back then in old SC. And of course religion
KatSaidWhat 11 months ago
That my mother was an abusive alcoholic who neglected my brother and I so much after the divorce that her own father begged mine to come and collect us and keep us safe, which he did. And that my half cuntsister was conceived while my biofam were all still living together. I worked that out and told my father I knew when he asked why I didn't like my mother... Also said he didn't have to say a word and it was never spoken of again. My father is an utter gentleman to his own detriment when it comes to the ladies.
Caffeine72 11 months ago
Sooooo many secrets in my family. Justified patriticide, surprise cousins from DNA tests, hidden suicides, mafia hits, abandoned kids "adopted" by other family members. It's the gift that keeps on giving. My cousins and I get together and laugh at it all.
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 11 months ago
Accidentally overheard my mom talking about how she was sexually abused by a family friend as a child…
BookFanatic 11 months ago
This is incredibly tame by comparison. Turns out the wonderful woman my uncle married when I was nine...was what my grandmother referred to as a "homewrecking hussy." She and Uncle worked together and had an affair. Mom let it slip when I was a teenager and immediately ordered me to forget she said anything.
SkippityBoppityBoo 11 months ago
While I've always known that I'm adopted? I was told too many adoptive family secrets. I was too young to know. I don't care because it's too hurtful... I can't know, why are you telling me? Just Stop........ Some secrets are meant to be buried with the people who were involved. I'm 9yrs old... What do you want from me? Just go... It's why I emancipated myself as soon as I was legally allowed to. Some secrets are meant to be buried with the people involved and never mentioned. I grew up too fast, too young... And I cannot forgive any of them for that.
PenguinEmp 11 months ago
There was a family story that I dug up due to the family tree being a bit missing. I found some cousins but wasn't sure if we were related as I'd never heard of them. Turns out they are the kids of my a great uncle, who married his niece. They had kids. No one ever talked about them. Ever.
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