When we first thought about our most useless jobs list, we thought about professions like a night knocker or a human alarm clock, but soon realized that they were, in fact, pretty useful, but just became obsolete with the emergence of new technologies, and, well, time. But then, we stumbled upon this glorious Reddit thread where - jackpot - people listed the jobs they had or knew someone else to have that were truly, incredibly, absolutely useless. As in, you get paid while doing practically nothing. Once we read the cases, we rounded up the most outrageously cool ones and put them on this list - go take a look, because no matter how hard we try to convince you, you wouldn’t believe the farce of these absurd jobs!
But we’ll try, nevertheless! Some of these unusual jobs require the employees just to literally be nice, come to the office, and reply to an email once a week. For a full-time salary, no less! Then, some people are lucky enough to spend all day sorting data from newest to oldest. In an Excel file. One click, and your whole day’s work is done! Still others got a chance to move around a bit during their shifts, by spinning brand signs on the streets nearby or working as Costco greeters. Basically, doing nothing. Of course, this list isn’t limited to these amusingly weird jobs, because people did have something to say about a bit more serious lines of work whose main aim seems to purely be ripping someone off. Not a nice thought to end our intro with!
So, to make it brighter and lighter, we urge you to read the submissions that we found on this AskReddit thread and decide for yourself whether you’d want a useless job or not! Once you find an entry that amuses the heck out of you or one that you couldn’t agree more with, give it your vote. And lastly, you might want to consider sharing this list with your friends!
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"I took a job scheduling residential HVAC technicians for a mid-sized company after a few years of working in the field. A few months in, the company ended its residential program to focus on the commercial.
Thing is, they already had commercial schedulers. My boss told me she'd find me a new role, but then she took another job elsewhere and left.
I stayed as a scheduler with no one to schedule in a department that no longer existed. No one in the office seemed to realize this, and for over half a decade, I would show up, make friendly conversation in the breakroom while making my coffee, and then literally just did nothing the rest of the day. Having left a stressful job, it was glorious.
Occasionally someone would ask me an hvac or system-related question over email, and that was it. I made sure everyone liked me by bringing in bagels every Monday and donuts every Friday.
Then covid happened and now I was doing nothing at home!
When I learned the company was being sold, I figured I wouldn't tempt fate anymore and applied elsewhere. My department head gave a glowing recommendation, having no idea what I even did but knowing I was friendly and helped him jump his car a few times.
TLDR: The department I was adminning was downsized, but they forgot about me and I essentially took a six-year paid vacation."
"I worked at a can-crushing plant.
The pay was good, the work was easy, but it was soda-pressing."
"Tik Tok influencers."
Soon Congess will ban Tik Tok, and burn Influencers at the stake for being witches.
Carl_Clegg said:
"An elevator attendant.
“First-floor sir? I’ll press button number 1 for you.”
(Does anywhere still have these guys or is it just an old movies thing?)"
Penguin_Dreams replied:
"I’m so old I remember when they had these in department stores. Whilst shopping with my grandma one day we got in an elevator and the attendant asked if we wanted the second floor. My grandma replies, “why yes, how did you know?” He says, “ma’am, there are only two floors, and we’re currently on the first one.”"
The old elevators weren't automated and it took a little skill to properly line up the car with the floor. Also, they could be dangerous so you needed someone familiar with the equipment to make sure nobody got hurt.
Administrative_Toe96 said:
"Telemarketers, I don’t know a single person who has actually purchased something from a telemarketer. Maybe it’s something the older generation does but everyone hates them and immediately hangs up on them around me."
YoutubeRewind2024 replied:
"I worked as a telemarketer for State Farm when I got out of high school, and in 8 months I had one person actually let me give her a quote. It was my aunt."
"Turning light installer on BMW vehicles."
Doesn't apply to all of us. Self-entitled Tesla and Prius drivers are way worse LOL
"Pet Psychic. Our Golden Retriever was getting joint therapy (shoulder injury, working with a vet, the dog did swimming three days a week in a heated pool where he could exercise without putting weight on the joint, also did some exercises, and is now fine. The place also did laser therapy and acupuncture for dogs.) Someone said something about 'Hudson' which is our dog's name only they were talking to another dog. 'Oh,' they said, 'That's the dog psychic's dog.' Apparently, you could find out what your dog was thinking.
I know what my dog is thinking. Most of the time he either wants what I'm eating or he wants me to throw the ball."
"Scam callers such as people asking if I want to extend the warranty on my car. Or if I’m looking to sell my house (that I don’t own)."
A caller once told my wife her computer had a virus. In her best Wisconsin accent, my wife said, "oh no. Oh Christ. A virus. I'm sorry dear, I have to hang up. My computer has a virus!" I could hear the caller shouting "wait, no, no..." as my very talented voice-over actress wife hung up.
"While it's a billion-dollar industry, health insurance. Literally, they exist to prevent you from cashing out on what you paid into. They have little to no medical knowledge, make everything more expensive, and exist solely as a useless middleman to make themselves rich."
Really, the same holds true for most kinds of insurance. My friend had a drunk driver crash through her front room. He destroyed one entire wall, the fireplace, and thousands of dollars in smaller damage to furniture and electronics. (Thankfully, she and her husband were out of town, so they were physically fine.) But the total estimate from the contractor was over $200,000. That was almost a year and a half ago, and State Farm only agreed to pay for it a few weeks ago after my friend threatened to take them to court.
Ozzy_HV said:
"Bathroom attendants. I don’t need somebody in there pulling paper towels out of the dispenser just to hand it to me and compel me to tip them."
MilkStrokes replied:
"I've been to a place where the attendant uses a lint roller on you, sprays you with some perfume, and has a little repair kit for clothes, mothers day cards, and all kinds of trinkets.
I was not prepared to be there and showed up with a rolling stones shirt and dirty jeans. Everyone was dressed nicely. I suspect they let me in because they thought I was one of those rich people so unaware of societal rules that they dress kinda crappy. I was actually just poor."
"Any kind of "alternative medicine" charlatans."
There's something to be said for the placebo effect. If you believe that eating locally sourced honey will help your allergies and it does then no harm, no foul plus it does have other healthy benefits.
sillykitty70 said:
"Gas Station pump attendant. Looking at you New Jersey."
angrylibertariandude replied:
"And Oregon. Not sure if either state will finally eliminate gas station attendants altogether. Oregon already allows rural gas stations to not use attendants, during certain off-peak hours. Though NJ still requires them 24/7."
Alarming_Matter said:
"Homeopath."
KyOatey replied:
"Do you know what they call alternative medicine that actually works?
Medicine."
Runmenot said:
"Hedge Fund Managers. They produce no goods or services that actually make the world a better place. They are gamblers and leeches on society."
BimSwoii replied:
"I'm convinced that half the time, even the news articles about stocks are intentionally misleading in order to get uninformed people to bet against the winning play."
The stock market is like on big casino or whatever you call the gambling places where you can bet on all kinds of things. That's where the whole concept belongs in my opinion
digitalmofo said:
"The lady who walks around the office says "Don't be on your phones, if you have time for that then you can study about the company!"
The same lady that is pushing hard to go back in the office, because remote work pointed out how useless that position is."
theedgeofoblivious replied:
"That lady.
Dear God, they should fire that lady."
Alarming-Trouble9676 said:
"Mine. I'm a management consultant and while I have quite a bit of industry knowledge and experience my clients either have the same knowledge or they aren't willing to accept change. Often times my firm gets paid a lot of money to make very little difference strategically and/or operationally. Where we do add value is in implementing enterprise-wide software solutions. Why do I stay? The money is pretty good given the futility."
NewMilleniumBoy replied:
"I heard from an acquaintance of mine who is a management consultant that most of the time people just want to hear their ideas out of someone else's mouth and will pay you to do it so that their peers will be more amenable to the idea."
A consultant is someone who borrows your watch when you ask what time it is.
"I once worked for a company selling online advertising space. Apparently, we optimized click-throughs using data analysis but it was all smoke and mirrors. Anyone (which is everyone) paying for online advertising services like that is being scammed."
"I once filed charges against my employer for an unethical issue that happened. Attorneys were involved and it was ugly for about 2 weeks. I had all job assignments taken away while the investigation was conducted. In the middle of the investigation when covid took off and the world went into a tailspin. Everyone who was involved with my issue/charge just started exiting the company and I just never had any duties given back to me. I stayed in that role for 6 months without anyone ever questioning what I did. I would come into work, and make a lap around the site, take an hour's lunch, and come and go as I wanted. It was a fortune 500 and they just lost track of who I was or what I was doing. I was working on a project team and everyone just assumed my direction came from someone else. At one point the company slashed 20% of the salaried workforce and I never heard a word. When I left the company for an external opportunity they gave me a sizable exit package to resolve my charge and a wonderful review. It was the worst of times due to the anxiety of always expecting the worst, and the best of times because I was just coming and going with no direction or expectations of any kind."
I don't know if I could take it, it be so worried constantly about being found out
-Necros said:
"Car dealerships. Just let me buy a car from the factory. Your job is to get me to pay as much as possible. So useless and so annoying."
brandonmadeit replied:
"Yes, factory direct should be a thing with all this technology. Order your car on the app, pick custom settings, and delivered it to your driveway in 2-3 business days."
YES. YES. YES. Car dealerships will go away soon I really hope. Absolutely pointless.
"A friend of mine worked at a government office, while he was on leave there was a reorganization and somehow he managed to not be fired nor get a new job. When he returned his manager and the managers manager both had moved on to new jobs in the private sector, but his office was still there so he just went back to work. He did for some weeks try to figure out who he should report to but was just referred to different people that did not reply, promised to get back to him, or just referred him to someone else so eventually he just gave up. Then there was a need for his office and he had to vacate it. So he just went home, and that was fine because he had cleared his backlog of work and was not really motivated because there was nobody he could talk to, report to or assign tasks to him. He is still getting paid."
fallenapeach said:
"My very first job. I'm a toxicologist and was hired by a very big private laboratory. My main job was to sort and redirect case files depending on the time at which the results came out.
THE DOCUMENTS WERE SENT TO ME IN EXCEL.
I was getting paid to just click sort by date descendingly."
caveinevitable replied:
"I had to do something similar to this when I was doing summer help at a steel factory. They paid me $14 an hour to sit there for eight hours and just move files to different folders and rename them. Sometimes I would pull weeds and paint walls, but that was about it."
Ok, that could have been me, sending someone those files. I can't figure excel out for the life of me
"My math teacher tells me to log in to Pearson and then disappears.
Potentially worse, I'm in Trade school for welding, I'm going to need to accurately apply geometry, measurement conversions, fractions, and angle math (might be geometry still). I'm not that great in math, I'm sure that stuff is basic for a lot of people but I'm not the one. Now I'm basically having to teach myself.
**not to mention I need to know that stuff or PEOPLE CAN DIE from structural flaws."
Oshester said:
"No one is talking about those sign spinners that became popular.
Who has ever seen someone flipping a sign and.
1) been able to read it 2) went to the business to buy something because of it."
Trainzack replied:
"The job only exists because the businesses want to put a sign there, but it's cheaper or the only legal option to hire a person to hold the sign and stand there."
dietcheese said:
"Anything with the word Reiki in it."
offshore1100 replied:
"When I was in nursing school and they told me I could get an “online reiki” certification I thought they were trolling me."
International_Age161 said:
"Lifeguard at the pool events in the Olympics."
GreenGuardEAST replied:
"This is actually good. There needs to be something in case one of the swimmers has a problem(injures themselves or heart attack)."
blueooze replied:
"Surely there is a medical team standing by at basically every single Olympic event regardless. Having a specific lifeguard just because it's a pool seems pretty silly."
I think there was a synchronized swimmer that fainted in the pool during the last Olympics so they are needed
"A navy soldier in a fully land-barred country."
For example: honorary Nebraska Admiral https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nebraska_Admiral
Chandler367 said:
"We have a specific security guard we've had for 13+ years now and is pretty useless. The security guard lives there and has a tv. He watches telenovelas most of the time. All he does is open the gate and doesn't even bother to even inspect though, since according to his logic 99% of people who can afford a car aren't bad/harmful people. He doesn't ask for names or house numbers, just opens the gate whenever he sees a car. Anyone can come in if they have a car, he doesn't even inspect faces.
And do you know the worst part?
When moving into the private, you are supplied with your own control remote. The gates are also automatic."
spencerandy16 replied:
"So he only opens the gate for anyone who doesn't live there...? Yikes."
melanthius said:
"Google “pharmacy benefit manager”
Literally, their only purpose is to make more money for middlemen while screwing over the general public on drug prices."
anukis90 replied:
"Glad to see I wasn't the only one looking for this. Had them deny a breast cancer drug because my patient didn't try two other drugs first even though the FDA approval has 0 stipulations of another drug being trialed first.
It was for Kisqali if anyone is curious and I will be sending a feisty appeal letter very soon."
The US system of drugs needing the insurance company's approval before they pay is sick. In a bad way
Mortich1 said:
"Patent Trolls."
TheElm replied:
"People that apply for Patents. and then just hold onto them forever with no intention of making the thing. And then when somebody does make the thing, ho-boy, you owe me money because I own the rights to that thing!
It's one of those weird "Do nothing and hope to eventually get a big payout" jobs, like Domain Squatters."
"Real estate agents, at least on the buyer side, should take maybe a 0.5% commission at most. They used to provide a lot of value, but they became nearly obsolete with technology. Buyers can now look at comps, have access to the MLS listing, they can look up the school district, can easily view the street using Google maps…
Them expecting 2-3% right now is ridiculous."
My dad was a real estate agent in the 70's and 80's. Totally different than it is now. I would go with him sometimes to show houses and stuff. We'd spend entire days looking at houses and then my dad would take everyone out to a nice restaurant for dinner and drinks. The old wine and dine of the 70's. I think this was mostly for people who were moving from out of town or out of state so they wouldn't have to go to their hotel room and eat at some cruddy restaurant in a town they knew anything about (pre internet reviews of restaurants and bad neighborhoods). My dad was a good guy and would check into the wiring or plumbing as much as he could while showing homes and tell people that it had bad wiring etc. so they'd be aware of any risks. We could go places, just the two of us, and someone would always come up and shake his hand and say "Hey Tom! How's your family? Been golfing lately?" Or whatever. My dad wouldn't know who they were 75% of the time but assumed he'd shown them a house
"Telephone sanitizers."
There's this mostly harmless planet that is in dire need of telephone sanitizers, although telephones won't be invented for a few hundred thousand years....
bmanley620 said:
"Jason Momoa’s bodyguards."
Mousec0pTrismegistus replied:
"Who else is gonna carry around the water to douse him with and activate his powers?"
PuIisic said:
"Grocery store greeters."
PlasticEnthusiast replied:
"Welcome to Costco. I love you."
Nikurou replied:
"Costco's is more of a 'do you have a membership card' checker."
Idk, I like this job. It's good for elderly or disabled people who may not be able to do anything more strenuous.
"Mine feels pretty useless.
I'm an assistant director at a community college's activity center.
My job is 90% doing practically nothing in the office, and 10% managing the concession stand during ball games. The office part is so boring, after having been an administrative assistant in an actual, busy academic office.
I hate the concession stand crap, too. It's not "boring" in that it's very busy. But I have 0 sense of accomplishment. Like, I sell burgers for basketball games. I don't give a damn about either of those things. Sports are dumb.
I wish I could go back to the administrative assistant job, but keep the assistant director pay. I'd rather be busy all the time, than bored and unfulfilled."
Wait until you're coasting to retirement - the last thing you want is excitement / fulfilment unless you are nuts. Boredom will be your friend and ultimately your lifelong companion (but at that stage in life, sitting and reading or drinking a bottle of wine are acceptable hobbies) .... Can't wait ; I have 16 months to go before I retire from my really, really boring, tedious job - should have been earlier but I didn't pay into a pension pot as my younger self was a bit off the rails and frankly, I, and my oldest friends, never thought I'd see 30, or 40, once I'd hit 40 I'd slowed down a bit, then 50 came along and I thought 'how ?' I'm now 64 and am astonished that I'm still alive.
"Video rental in 2023."
Netflix has just announced they're ending the DVD mailing service in September. It apparently still has a small but loyal fan base of people who wanted movies that aren't on any streaming services, or who have bad internet connections, and they're really upset about the service shutting down.
"My previous supervisor. When he quit, they did not replace him. We just kind of carried on as usual."
"The guy who holds up the "Quiet Please" sign at the 16th hole at Waste Management Open."
DanOfAllTrades80 said:
"Most middle management positions. Their job is literally to take bulls**t from above and send it below, and to have someone to shift the blame to. There are often multiple levels through which the everything must pass, as well."
oracle989 replied:
"The root problem lies in senior management that knows nothing about the work. They add middle managers to deal with it for them, but that role's time is dedicated to canceling out the effects of other managers at best, or at worst amplifying the micromanaging from above.
It's exactly backward, we concentrate all the agency to make decisions at the points as far removed from the product as possible, make everyone who has more visibility on the work solely beholden to those with less, and the only meaningful signals that filter up to a decision maker are turnover and blown deadlines, at which point you're already screwed."
MummyDust98 said:
"Modern online business coaches.
Dude, every bit of what they "teach" can be found on the internet for free."
zeekoes replied:
"Not saying you're wrong, but with your reasoning, we could also just close all schools and give kids access to the internet when they're 5 and wish them good luck.
There is a difference between reading theory and having someone explain it to you step by step and give examples. Sometimes it's the packaging of information that makes the difference on whether it's understood and sticks.
A good coach in any field can make a world of difference. Yet most people see coaching as a low-effort way to earn money and it can definitely be that."
p17s82 said:
"Shop security - in most cases, they can’t legally do anything but just watch."
courtknxx replied:
"Depends on the type of security they invest in. Security guards who stand at the door all day in a uniform - yes you're right, in most cases, they're used as a deterrent.
However, store detectives go undercover and try to blend in with other customers (in their own clothes, browsing stock, and carrying a basket/trolley) so that they go unnoticed. Those people are allowed to tackle shoplifters and actually do something about it."
Back in the days before lawsuits became most peoples hobby, I worked for a large chain grocery. It was a regular thing to wave together a few of the bigger guys and tackle a shoplifter as he went out the door.
"Fine Jewelry. The whole industry. People dig diamonds out of the ground, cut them, make rings, and sell them. And if the entire business just vanished tomorrow, so what?"
Most precious stones are lab made now. I had a terribly mean girl friend, wife of my hubs friend, that would flash around her massive lab made Diamond ring like she was royalty. I, from a simple background, had a small antique looking ring; that was made from my grandmothers antique coal mined rings. It was a gift from her. Simple and perfect for me. She’d always gloat how her ring was bigger than mine. Needless to say, they divorced and I never had to deal with that narcissist again.
CityofTreez said:
"TSA. The job itself is important, but the individuals working at every airport are usually lazy s**theads."
noname585 replied:
"With a superiority complex."
George Carlin nailed it years ago about them - "Someone with a double digit IQ and a triple digit income should not be responsible for my luggage." Lol
"Literally, anyone that works at Intuit. Get your f**king middleman corp the f**k out of the way and let people and the government do taxes like the rest of the world: sensibly, quickly, and clearly."
giftloyd said:
"Realtor."
MyBodyStoppedMoving replied:
"Watch the recent South Park episode on realtors. They roast the shit out of them for making a lot of money and not really doing anything."
Maybe worthless, but it is a hard job. Unless you know all the ins and outs, you likely won’t make anything. You only get paid when you get a buyer. So you’ll be showing houses to multiple people and wasting your time for no pay, until someone actually buys that home you showed them. I’m not a realtor, but I feel for the realtor I chose.
"A large amount of American politicians."
This is a case where the position is necessary, but the people who fill it is sh*te.
Clayruatwork said:
"Spectrum customer support."
BigBootyBidens replied:
"The folks over at Spectrum think I’m just some dumb hick! They said that to ME at a DINNER!"
Cockroachens said:
"My school has an attendance office.
I'm saying it's useless because no one goes there. Because it's always closed. Because the person who works it is never there.
This is separate from the main office."
Valianttheywere replied:
"So you are supposed to sign in at the main office before going to class? Or do they check class attendance?"
What is an attendance office? We only had a main office and when we had to get late passes they were done through that. Later, this was automated on a tablet at the office.
"The specific subset of tow truck drivers that really only exist to legally steal your car and charge you money on top of whatever tickets you may have gotten to recover your stolen property."
Why does a job have to "amount to something", and who decides which job is "useless"? Bunch of snobs if you ask me
Why does a job have to "amount to something", and who decides which job is "useless"? Bunch of snobs if you ask me
