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“What’s Something You Wish Someone Had Told You When You Were Younger?”: 40 Useful Tips Shared By The Bored Panda Community
Interview
We learn not only from our mistakes or victories but also from other people. Be it someone you look up to, or a neighbor that was in a similar situation, we tend to follow some tips and tricks told by others.
Getting advice from parents, grandparents and teachers, what's the best advice you ever got? And what's something you wish someone had told you when you were younger? Scroll down for the answers shared by the Bored Panda community! Maybe you'll find something inspiring.
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Always, ALWAYS, listen to your gut. If something doesn’t feel right in the pit of your stomach, trust your instincts.
To get to know more about the meaning of advice and how it affects people, Bored Panda contacted Susan K. Whitbourne, a Professor Emerita of Psychological and Brain Sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst.
Firstly, we wanted to know how a piece of advice affects our ways of being or acting. The professor replied that it's often very difficult to ensure that people will follow the advice that you offer. "They have to see that your advice serves a specific need and it has to be timed so that it shows how it's relevant to that need. Advice can easily be misinterpreted, even if it's offered with the best of intentions. Timing is everything but so is the wording that you use to offer the advice. It's important not to put the other person on the defensive by beginning with words that could be interpreted as critical."
My Grandma always said, "consider the source." when someone said something bad or hurtful.
Your coworkers are not your friends.
I made some of my best friends at work. Let's just agree on "NOT ALL of your coworkers are your friends". Like probably every other place in your life. Be careful who you choose to trust.
Yeah, it's not wise to assume that they are, but sometimes friends are made. One of my co-workers became my sister-in-law.
Some of them can be though. I worked at a company where one girl was absolutely hated by almost everyone because of her attitude and mean spiritedness. She knew how to push buttons to get attention and it did not endear her to anyone.
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Mine are, but it's a workplace that encourages cooperation over competition.
No a big one with 25 introverts and we all get along great.
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This isn't true. I met my best friend of 25 years at a job we worked at together. I met some excellent people through jobs I've worked.
I met my husband at work (married 15 years now) I also met my best friend at work and we go on holiday with each other without husbands every year, Mexico 2023 yay!
This one is just sad that people have "learnt" this lesson. At 48, some of my best friendships are from work colleagues, and if I start a new job and don't make good friends, I move on. If I'm spending 1/3 or more of my life someplace, I'm damn well going to have friends there.
Unless you are a musician and in a band! That is how I made most of my friends.
Most coworkers are not your friends. I have made lifelong friends from work. One, who passed recently, I met when I was 25 and we have been friends for over 20 years. I think the point here is don't assume they are all your friends. If you don't talk outside of work.... that's not a friend. that's an acquaintance!
I think the job has some things to do with this too. They are not your enemies either!
Well the place I'm working at, they're mostly still kids. I prefer being friends with kids rather than people who are married
I'm glad no one ever told me this. Three of my closest, dearest friends, were once coworkers.
Meeeeeh..... debatable. One of my few best friends ever was my coworker at a former job, and he sure did make that hell of'a place more bearable and enjoyable. But the other 99,9% of cases in my life I never had close relationships with coworkers or classmates. So I guess it strictly depends on the mutual compatibility of the people involved. Most of'em however will not become your friends, either due to the office bareer making many of us keep our masks on, or simply because you'll not find them compatible to you.
Previous job; regal theater. Those coworkers are just kids. They're closer to childhood freebies instead of being drunken disclosed marriages. They're my kind of people
I would say that co-workers are more of an ally than a friend. Yes, there are some that you can find very difficult to work with and others who you can have a rapport with them, it just makes the day go by quicker and more bearable. Co-workers are just there to do their jobs like anyone else and we just go back to our private lives afterwards. I don't know much about their personal lives. Sure, we may share a few bits of it here and there but we don't really get together during our off-hours.
Depends on the industry in my experience! hospitality - hell yeah. Offices - up and down. building/landscaping bunch of C####
Out of all my jobs I've had there's only been one girl I absolutely hated , and she was the reason I quit the job but she was young and immature , most other jobs I've made at least one friends
Well, as a general rule, sure, but it doesn't they can't become genuine friends or even, in my case, your spouse.
I've made many long lasting friendships with co workers. Not everyone has to be a miserable a*****e
I have this insane amnesia where I forget this and end up saying something i think is safe and they go and tell others.
Exactly right. That way be dragons. Be especially aware of those who seem too good to be true, or who sidle up to you and try too hard to be your friend. There’s something of yours that they want, and they’re scheming their way into getting it while they sharpen and polish the knife they’ve decided to make a new accessory in your back. Decades ago, I lost out on a promotion because the person who I thought was my friend went behind my back and badmouthed me to the boss I had always had a good working relationship with—-and managed to brown nose their way into the promotion that same boss had previously said I was the most qualified person for. I never socialized, or sought anything more than cordial (and never chummy) relationship, with coworkers after that. Burn me once, shame on you. I bring no shame on myself, because I won’t let you burn me again.
Some may say 'not all', but just keep in mind and make it as rule of thumb. Working is like competition, everyone want the same thing, but not all can get at the same time. You need to beat anyone else so you can be the top and reap the prizes. Prize = promotion, increase in salary, bonuses, benefits..
What is good advice? According to Susan K. Whitbourne, great advice "serves the positive goal of helping people see ways that they can improve but the flip side of this is that they learn from the advice about tips for improving in the future."
Go where you are celebrated, not just tolerated. (Helped me snap out of a toxic relationship!)
Manners cost nothing but get you everywhere.
After being asked whether the advice we get contributes to forming our personality or whether self-taught lessons are of better value, the professor replied that self-taught lessons are great, but they may need a 'booster shot' from the lessons you gain from others. "Sometimes people don't have the perspective to see when they're heading in the wrong direction, which is where carefully worded advice that is tailored to the individual can have the greatest value."
“Life isn't a fairy tale. If you lose a shoe at midnight, you're drunk.”
― Darynda Jones
Get to know your parents. You never know when they will be gone for good.
As a student-teacher, I was advised to always make friends (real friends, not fake friends) with the school secretary, lunch lady, custodian and IT person. With their help, you can do anything you need. I no longer teach, but this advice has proven true in every job I've had.
As a CIO I travel the world each week to each of our factories and offices. The receptionist (who are often also the telephone operator) at every site are all key contacts that I quickly get to know personally. I know their names, their kids names, family pets, birthdays, births, deaths, marriages etc, they know mine. We often catch up for a while whilst I'm travelling, arriving or watiing for a car to leave. Same with great people who drove the company cars and buses shuttling us between airports, hotels are our locations. We have hundreds of locations. On the frequent times glitches crop up with my interaries, these are the wonderful people who will go out of their way to remove my problems and keep me safe/housed/travelling etc. People are people the world over at any level - respect anyone irrespective of their salary, grade, religion, language, gender etc. People who pull rank or ignore others as they feel superior due to their role or position are generally a*****s
1. Don't take criticism from someone you wouldn't accept advice from.
2. For panic attacks, intrusive thoughts, etc. think of 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can feel, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste.
3. Learn to accommodate yourself and work with your limitations instead of fighting them.
Drink 8-12 ounces of water when you first get up in the morning; you're dehydrated and your body and brain will work a lot better if they don't think they're dying of thirst.
Always ask: is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? - before saying anything. IF it fails any of those three tests, do not say it.
I think it's supposed to meet *two out of three* of those criteria. So for example, if something is true and necessary, it should be said whether it is kind or not. If something is true and kind, say it even if there is no other reason. And if only say something untrue on the occasion that is both kind and necessary.
If you see someone without a smile give them one of yours. (Thank you, Dolly Parton.)
Never write anything in a work email that you wouldn’t mind being read out in court.
When we first got computers at school a teacher was hired to do her job plus be the IT person. I would send her emails about issues with the computer and she would send nasty replies and never do her job she was paid to do. I waited a couple of weeks and got a stack of them. Then replied " you know emails can be printed out". Then I acted on it.
Famous one: back in the 70s, Readers Digest once made a survey: "What is the No. 1 advice fathers give to their sons?" They expected some sophisticated or philosophical answers about life and relationships, but the winning answer (by a huge margin) was much more concrete:
"Brush your teeth BEFORE you put on a fresh shirt."
I have to say this advice has never failed me.
I remember once being told - "take your time, think a lot. Think of everything you've got. For you will still be here tomorrow. But your dreams may not"
(1) No. It is a complete sentence.
(2) Keep your family and friends out of your financial business, out of your intimate relationship/marriage business and keep your opinion about your friends/family spouse/gf/bf to yourself
(3) How you Live is YOUR business.
If they (family, friends, co-workers) do not like it..
Ask them this: How are MY life choices affecting YOUR life???
Exactly! When I was with my former employer (retired now), we had a Manager’s meeting that was going around in circles about how to respond to a recent politically delicate, yet absurd resource request. When it came my turn to contribute, I said simply “ ‘NO!’ is a perfectly good answer” and left it at that. Well, I was puzzled that others in the room were taken by surprise by what I thought to be obvious, and no one could offer any counter argument. At my retirement some years later, a few colleagues echoed that back to me as one of their most memorable moments, and to this day I do not understand why.
Don't lose better chasing perfect
Apologies Glasia, first time posting and it didn't look like it had saved when I hit the button. I did report it as a duplicate and ask for it to be deleted. If there is a way I can do that myself I would be happy to learn it
If you'll be ashamed when someone finds out you did something, don't do it. (My dad)
I was told, never do anything to you don't want to explain to paramedics.
Regret is a wasted emotion. You can't change the past.
One of my best pieces of advice was not to tell people hurtful information if they can't do anything about it. This is very situational though.
Nearly everything in life is situational, but not telling people hurtful things is generally going to be okay. That said, there will be times when it’s a kindness to tell someone they’re being delusional…just find a way to be gentle about how you tell them,
It’s okay if someone doesn’t like you.
Just because someone calls or texts, doesn’t mean you have to be available.
Important or meaningful conversations should not be done by text or email.
Apologizing and making things right is not a sign of weakness.
Be kind to others... but to a limit. You do not want to be taken advantage of.
In Les Miserables, Jean Valjean steals from the priest who gave him shelter and sneaks out into the night. The police apprehend him and return him to the priest to give back what he stole. The priest then asks his wife to fetch the silver. She argues, but he insists. Telling the policemen that Valjean had not stolen anything from him, he hands the silver to the thief, saying 'Here, you forgot to take this'. The priest insists that Valjean is set free as he has committed no crime and the officers acquiesce. This is a turning point in Valjean's life. My questions would be, at what point should you stop being kind and why are we so afraid of being taken advantage of? BTW I'm not religious.
Cheap products are the most expensive.
"You can always add, but you can never take away" My mother said this to me while I was dumping spoonfuls of sugar into tea. I use it whenever I am cooking and if she never said that to me I would be horrible at cooking/baking. Thanks mom!
Something my uncle taught me when I was learning. Thanks uncle Sonny !
When you are learning to drive always be looking for an out. You never know how much that quick glance around while driving will give you a place to go in an emergency.
I was taught this. I was also taught to ‘drive like everyone around you is an idiot’ and also ‘the right of way is yielded never taken.’ Just because that person is supposed to stop doesn’t mean they always will. It helps you prepare to react to others when they make mistakes. Seriously, think of how many times you’ve seen someone do something dumb when you’re driving.
Learn how to say no. Do it in a calm and pleasant way if possible but saying no is the key to following your own path in life.
Always change the toilet paper roll as soon as it is empty.
I'll do you one better... always stack a stash of roles within a reach
If your paretns, siblings or other family members do not treat you as an equal, stay away from them. They do not own you.
You might be happier cutting all ties to your family.
Life is too short to be around miserable, toxic people. Sometimes the best way to deal with them is to cut them out of your life. Your well-being is important.
Always have multiple back-ups, you'll never know what could happen and who could stab you in the back.
Other people's opinions of you are none of your business.
I kind of like knowing what other people think. Is that bad? To actually want to hear another person's opinion?
If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?
Forgive others, not for them but for yourself
You need to let go. For yourself. Not them. Let go of the bitterness, and the hate, and the hostility. Try to maybe see where they were coming from. But that doesn't mean you EVER have to say it was OK. Or invite them to dinner. Forgiveness has been misunderstood. Better said is to let go. And you are always allowed to feel it wasn't OK. There is too much pressure to "forgive" nowadays. And what that means has become twisted. Some people are predators and should always be viewed so. Even though we can have compassion for what got them there. It doesn't make it OK and it doesn't make them safe. And knowing that is 100% totally fine!!
A little piece of advice my therapist gave me when I was in a dark place: Always ask, is it realistic? Does this thought properly portray the situation? Is it helpful? Does this thought help you work through whatever is going on? That and my told me, "You will make it through this, you just need to hold out for the other side. If all you have the energy or motivation to do is breathe, then you just lay down and breathe."
Try to only worry about the things you can actually control.
(Easier said than done.)
Think on it, understand it, solve it. Worry? worry will just get in the way. Worry is useless, it just interferes. Why bother?
"You are not your job, you’re not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. " - Tyler Durden, Fight Club -
Power is not absolute but power can corrupt absolutely.
"Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely." Lord Acton
Never buy small, cheap tools. You will always encounter a task at which they fail.
Yep, buy a sledgehammer right away, never just a normal hammer again. If it fails the task, buy larger one. Same with screwdriver - if it doesn’t fit, keep buying larger ones, until it fits. Trust me, if it doesn’t work for you, you’re not buying large enough tools /s
When you have hiccups bend over, hold your breath and guzzle water to get rid of them.
Note: this post originally had 86 images. It’s been shortened to the top 38 images based on user votes.
I have started using the 5-5 rule. If it won’t affect you in 5 years then it’s not worth spending 5 minutes over. It helped me prioritise many things in my life
Wasn't speedy enough to get in on the list, so I'll add mine here. My mom pounded into my head, and then I into my children's: no one can make you feel any particular way without your consent. Your friend at school cannot "hurt " your feelings without your permission, essentially. Easier said than done, but if you can pull it off, it works!
I always knew it as "No one can embarass you. It is only you that can feel embarassed."
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Solid advice here: If someone offers you gum or a breath mint, take it!! It could be the most polite way of saying your breath stinks!
Sexual compatibility is not the same as love. Also, when people tell you who they are, believe them.
The first advice came from my father: politeness is like a cushion you hold in front of you. It softens the blows of life. The second one comes from a Hungarian writer: beyond a certain level we won't stoop below a certain level.
If I could add on, does he trust your gut one if you’re trusting your gut, don’t worry about being polite. If something is telling you something isn’t right don’t worry about being polite get out there.
Hair dryer on cool for so many menopausal flushes and sweats. I even was told to use it by one of my doctors recently after an infection.
My personal rules: Be neither quick to offend, nor quick to take offense. When possible, avoid both. Treat people with respect, and treat people like human beings. Don't try to control what isn't under your control. Remember that the only thing that IS under your control is yourself.
“What’s Something You Wish Someone Had Told You When You Were Younger?” When to keep your mouth shut.
Treat other people how you'd like to be treated. If they treat you badly, know your own value and step away from toxic people.
Here’s my best advice: don’t select your actions or decisions based on what won’t get other people upset. So many people don’t do the right thing for themselves because they don’t want to upset the other person. I even know a guy who married a girl because she got upset when he tried to break up with her!
Depression and anxiety are both things that want to be fed. Therefore, always do the opposite of what they tell you to do.
I did but was called a conspiracy theorist and belittled by doctors. Two years later, my gut was proven right by science. I will never not trust my gut again.
I have started using the 5-5 rule. If it won’t affect you in 5 years then it’s not worth spending 5 minutes over. It helped me prioritise many things in my life
Wasn't speedy enough to get in on the list, so I'll add mine here. My mom pounded into my head, and then I into my children's: no one can make you feel any particular way without your consent. Your friend at school cannot "hurt " your feelings without your permission, essentially. Easier said than done, but if you can pull it off, it works!
I always knew it as "No one can embarass you. It is only you that can feel embarassed."
Load More Replies... Solid advice here: If someone offers you gum or a breath mint, take it!! It could be the most polite way of saying your breath stinks!
Sexual compatibility is not the same as love. Also, when people tell you who they are, believe them.
The first advice came from my father: politeness is like a cushion you hold in front of you. It softens the blows of life. The second one comes from a Hungarian writer: beyond a certain level we won't stoop below a certain level.
If I could add on, does he trust your gut one if you’re trusting your gut, don’t worry about being polite. If something is telling you something isn’t right don’t worry about being polite get out there.
Hair dryer on cool for so many menopausal flushes and sweats. I even was told to use it by one of my doctors recently after an infection.
My personal rules: Be neither quick to offend, nor quick to take offense. When possible, avoid both. Treat people with respect, and treat people like human beings. Don't try to control what isn't under your control. Remember that the only thing that IS under your control is yourself.
“What’s Something You Wish Someone Had Told You When You Were Younger?” When to keep your mouth shut.
Treat other people how you'd like to be treated. If they treat you badly, know your own value and step away from toxic people.
Here’s my best advice: don’t select your actions or decisions based on what won’t get other people upset. So many people don’t do the right thing for themselves because they don’t want to upset the other person. I even know a guy who married a girl because she got upset when he tried to break up with her!
Depression and anxiety are both things that want to be fed. Therefore, always do the opposite of what they tell you to do.
I did but was called a conspiracy theorist and belittled by doctors. Two years later, my gut was proven right by science. I will never not trust my gut again.
