30 Absurd Job Requirements That Are Exactly Why “No One Wants To Work Anymore”

Agree! I've worked in a factory with people who have been employed 20+ years and didn't know a thing about a different part of the factory. Yet the higher ups would go to them, instead of a worker who actually knew the damned machine.

In the tech field it's a way of getting past certain visa requirements. No one domestic will admit to having 4 years of experience for something that's been out for two, but people from other countries wanting visas will. Then the recruiter can say to the government they couldn't find domestic people with the skills but they found a bunch overseas.

The gap is the result of Business of Nunya.

Perfect response!

As a woman just hint at having tried for kids. You won't have to go into details or even lie but everyone will assume, if you give some vague hints like you were trying to find out how to plan your family life or something equally vague that you tried for kids and couldn't have them or had an abusive relationship or something equally horrible and drop the question like a hot potato. You can then go back to talking about your job experience.

Ah! Myspace. Good time. Good times.

Well I don't know what you guys have been doing, but I've been on Instagram since I was three, so I can totally apply for that job now /s

Does standing on the sidewalk/corner waving a sale/going out of business sign count? After all, that's media and it is most definitely social.

Nobody wants to work in social media for 15 years.

Haha back in the day!

Aaaaaaand that's a no from me

It's legal if the company owns the device the person is using for work and the person is connected to the company's network. But that's where it ends. They can't require monitoring on your own device on your own network and certainly not your spouse's.

How about a fork no and you're getting named and shamed on review sites -_-

I am sorry what?!?!?! how do they have anyone that works for them??? If I showed this to my husband he would be reporting them so quick!!!!!

Do these people think that they own their employee?

And you didn't have a full time job yet? Slacker.

In 2008, I was born 🤭

I actually began working retail when I was 7 but I leave it off resumes as I feel todays employers would view it as a lie.

Wow. What century were you born?

what am I - applying for a job for Mike Tyson ??

Why?! I never had more than 2 interviews for a job. I can see the value of a third if there's a lot of candidates or something, but hell to the nah to more than that.

I hate companies that do this. Its absurd.

How about, "You're f*cking high"?

In my current job I had three interviews and only 2 of them were actually meant to sort candidates out and the third was a meet and greet with the team when it was already a given I would be hired unless I did something egregious like making racist comments or just not showing up and that was good. It really gave me a chance to get a feeling for the company before the start. Everything above that seems excessive for most jobs unless it's something that demands very specific skills that must be tested and guaranteed like applying as a CEO or something equally high up. Otherwise I have the feeling all those requirements for interviews are an attempt to weed out people who care for their needs and would buck at unreasonable demands so you'll get doormats who'll buy into hustle culture at cost of their own well being.

We've been trying to reach you about the extended warranty on your purple flying turtle...

I applied for a job but they passed because I wasn’t a purple turtle. Mind you I can fly but that wasn’t good enough. Thinking of filing a discrimination lawsuit against them.

"Last time I took acid I saw a pink penguin riding on a purple flying turtle. They zoomed around the neighborhood and landed on my periwinkle blue Mercedes. I yelled at them to get off my car, and they laughed. The the pink penguin mooned me and the purple flying turtle gave me a raspberry before they flew off to their love nest on Neptune."

They want to see how well you can invent fiction, for a call center. Hmmmmm.... wonder why?

*clears throats* There once was a purple flying turtle. He went be the name of Tony. He thought he had a great answer for this requirement, but the question simply made him stony. Why ask such a question? Did they want a story about his life, how his home is full of plastic, his eggs were snatched, and a net took his wife. Tony sat there and wondered, "What does this have to do with the work for which he was applying?" Then he sighs and looks at the family portrait on the wall. "It's alright, dear, I'm still trying." - FrostyJellies 💜

With 60% of the effort

Recruiters are akin to cold call salespeople, medical debt collectors & meter maids.

Market range is total b.s., it has no bearing on your remuneration for any job.

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I think this one is kinda rude. Companies have different capabilities to pay their employees, based on their revenues, liabilities, etc. If op thinks the offer is not fit, op could just SIMPLY say "im sorry but the number doesnt fit my expectation therefore i cannot accept the offer". The recruiter is already being polite IMHO.

And we have a winner...

I'm a bit milder on that because often it's meant to weed out bots. Everyone can easily google a random joke but a bot won't know what to do. It's also reasonable to weed out people who'd think writing sexist or racist jokes is ok because it's just joking. Actually, the kind of joke people find funny is very telling. I've seen people being fired over 'jokes' they've made and I feel this could be something a company would do to try and weed out idiots who think bullying is funny. And last it's a customer service position and the last thing you want in this job is a jokester who tells inappropriate jokes. Having a fine sense of humour can be a great strategy to defuse escalations if done well, but telling bad jokes is definitely a no go.

34999 the currency is bitcoin I assume ??

Depends on where the job is, what it's for, how many hours etc. But honestly, I don't understand the logic of not just listing the salary up front. Well, I guess I do, they're hoping to lowball new employees but it's a horrible practise.

I think that the worst part is the "we recommend writing some more". It's a haiku, it's short by definition