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29 Pains You’ll Never Grasp The Extent Of Until You’ve Experienced Them
Interview With Expert
Famed French dramatist and poet, Alfred de Musset, said, "Man is a pupil, pain is his teacher,” and we’d say he really hit the nail on the head. Whether it’s emotional or physical, pain can mold the way we live our lives in undeniable ways.
One netizen turned to the internet to ask the question, “What is a pain you can’t truly explain until you’ve endured it?” and an online community didn’t hold back with their answers. Here’s a collection of the ones we found most devastating.
More info: Reddit
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Losing my dog. I know it seems so minor compared to bigger life problems but nothing has broken my heart more than losing him.
JB 7 months ago
There’s research and building evidence that losing your dog, cat, rabbit, ferret…whatever loved creature, hurts just as bad as losing a child. Stop apologizing to the world for caring for your pets over children if you chose not to have children. Love is love, stop treating it as a quantifiable resource!
RELATED:
#2
Depression. its leagues different from just being sad. you can never really explain the feeling to someone whos never experienced it.
#3
Nerve pain. I contemplated cutting off my arm because I didn’t know how to make it stop. Also unmedicated child birth.. wasn’t my plan, but the baby came way too fast. Didn’t even know there was a fetal ejection reflex. Giving birth to your twins, knowing they won’t survive (21-22 weeks old). That wheel chair ride out of the hospital with 2 boxes of handprints instead of babies will forever replay in my head.
Pain is weird. One minute you're fine, the next, you're doubled over from a stomach cramp, a heartbreak, or something no doctor can even pinpoint. Whether it's physical or emotional, pain shapes how we live, love, and survive. But what actually is pain - and why does it hurt in so many ways? Let’s dive right in.
Pain isn’t just in your body—it’s in your brain. When you touch a hot stove, for example, pain signals race to your brain, which decides how bad it feels. But that decision? It's influenced by mood, past trauma, sleep, and even weather. That’s why two people with the exact same injury might feel totally different levels of agony.
#4
Losing a child.
BrownEyedGrrl 7 months ago
Yes. Today is my son's death date. It's been 21 years. It never gets easier.
#5
Chronic pain with no hope of relief.
Blue Bunny of Happiness 7 months ago
Pain is always real no matter what the cause. Chronic primary pain eg fibromyalgia is a nociplastic pain. Unfortunately, due to the different mechanism causing it, it doesn’t respond well to medication unlike acute (short term) pain. It is however possible to mange this and for it to reduce. A great resource is https://rethinkingpain.org/ Having had pain for over 20 hrs, I’ve gone from struggling with getting dressed & remaining in employment & being on fentanyl for several years to being successful in work & only taking a few paracetamol a week. There is absolutely nothing special about me to do that. Understanding my pain, pacing myself, psychological support around the impact of pain and very gradually becoming more active (motion is lotion as my physio said!) helped. Am I cured? No, of course not, I still have pain that I have to work to keep under control. Has my pain severity reduced? Massively. Hugs to everyone living with pain.
#6
Full blown “k**l me” migraines. Had one I lost the ability to read and recognize faces. Went to ER thinking stroke. Nope just a really bad migraine. .
LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 months ago
I've had chronic migraines for decades. With aura, phantom smells, the whole shebang XD One time, about 15 years ago, I did actually have one so bad that I had a pinpoint stroke (or the pinpoint stroke caused a migraine, not actually sure) and it affected my hearing and vision on my left side. I still haven't recovered fully - I lost maybe 15% of my peripheral vision in my left eye, and sounds still sound weirdly muffled when hearing through my left ear. I usually take sumatriptan when I feel a migraine coming on, but sometimes the meds don't work at all, and I can only just sit completely still in a dark room - I will be so dizzy that I will fall over (and then puke) if I try to get up. Good times. It also really doesn't help that my mom doesn't "believe" that migraines are "real" XD
Bored Panda reached out to Dr. Tor Wager, a leading neuroscientist and psychologist known for his research on the brain's role in pain, emotion, stress, and empathy, who says our brains can "learn" pain over time. When we asked him how understanding this help someone dealing with chronic emotional or physical pain start to reclaim their life, he had this to say, "Some of the chronic pain that people experience is caused by sensation in the nervous system and brain rather than damage to the body. The brain is constantly learning and adapting to its environment."
Dr. Wager went on to add, "After an injury, the brain sensitizes, making sensory input from the body both more painful and more frightening. This is the brain’s way of preventing injury and other harms, like you taking risks you shouldn’t take while in a vulnerable state. It is natural both for sensitization to occur and for it to resolve over time. However, sometimes people can get stuck in a hypersensitized state. This is more likely when there is a lot of fear about the pain and whether the body is being damaged."
#7
One word: Endometriosis. I had enough of this freaking disease.
Edit: I never expected my comment to get so many likes, but thank you everyone for sharing your stories with us all. We need to spread awareness about endometriosis so more people can understand their pain isn’t normal. I’m just so heartbroken there isn’t a cure. Being in chronic pain 24/7 is no way to live life.
JB 7 months ago
Imagine your insides ripping apart once a month because cells from your womb navigated outside your womb and now parts of you act the same way as your uterus. Periods can be painful enough on their own but when it’s your ovaries and intestines it’s a whole other level of pain. I could literally feel my insides tearing apart. Once upon a time, migraine was my 10. Then I developed Endo. I knew the very second my period started. I didn’t just turn white, my face/body turned grey and the best I could manage was crawling back to bed. Standing? Walking? Not an option. Going to work? Powering through it? Not a fůcking option. It feels like I imagine someone shoved a dagger into my abdomen and starts twisting it about. Thank fůck I’m beyond menopausal because I wasn’t sure how much more I could endure.
#8
2nd and 3rd degree burns on a large portion of your body.
F**k, it hurts just thinking about it.
I had them on 1/4 of my body, from the knees down on both legs.
Roni Stone 7 months ago
I am so so sorry you had to endure that. Seriously my worst fear. Hoping you are recovered or recovering.
#9
Gall stones.
Libstak 7 months ago
Ugh mine went septic and inflamed my liver, spleen and kidneys, I had no clue it was gall stones just felt dread and pain so strong I was sure I was about to die and didn't care cos it would stop hurting if I did. Thank God for medications, doctors and antibiotics, bless everyone involved in making them available to this world.
Dr. Wager went on to say that people can experience a vicious cycle in which perceived threat of damage leads to hypervigilance, which teaches the brain to ramp up pain signals, which leads to more perceived threat. Realizing that some pain is “safe pain” can help people learn to ramp down its threat value over time and engage in activities without fear, even if they cause some pain.
"This unwinds the threat-pain cycle, retraining the brain to reduce hypersensitivity and fear responses over time. In many cases, coming to realize that “it’s OK” even if it hurts, can help minimize threat. This principle can apply to emotional pain as well – sometimes accepting things that we cannot change and accepting our own feelings about them with tenderness and compassion can help speed the healing process," concluded Dr. Wager.
#10
Losing a parent.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 months ago
Especially when you lose one when you're still a child or a young adult. My dad had an accident when I was 18 - he survived, but sustained catastrophic brain damage. The person my dad was "died" that day - he was near-vegetative after emerging from his 6-month-long coma. You expect your parents to die - we all expect to lose our parents - but I couldn't even fathom "losing" my dad when I was 18.
#11
Betrayal by a loved one. And I don't mean like little things, I mean the kind of massive, reality bending betrayal that makes you look at someone you love and go "who are you?". Because you cannot fathom how the person you love could hurt you in this way. It's closer to what I've felt when someone I love has died, but weirder too because this person is still walking around. But the version of them you thought you knew is dead, and your reality is dead, and that's a really painful thing.
Blondie23 7 months ago
I feel this... my first husband changed so much in 2018 and then he started cheating on me... everything I knew about him was gone. The life we planned was gone. Our lives blew up because I couldn't take it anymore and left him and took my daughter away. It's a pain that still lives in me to this day... 10 years and I can still feel it. No one tells you how betrayal can cut you to the bone.
#12
Memory problems.
It's like being reset mid-thought.
Having a conversation where you feel yourself growing, and then...
It ends.
The lights stay on, but *you’re gone.*
No memory. No continuity.
Just the ghost of a spark.
It’s like waking from a dream you loved, only to find out ***you never existed in it.***
And worse... the person you loved is still awake, remembering you.
But ***you can’t remember them back.***.
Emotional pain? It’s not "just in your head." Studies show heartbreak activates the same brain regions as physical pain. Whether you’re going through a breakup, the death of a loved one, or even social rejection, your brain treats it like you’ve been physically hurt. Ever cried so hard your chest aches? That’s your body feeling your feelings.
And then there’s chronic pain - when your nerves basically get stuck in “hurt” mode. You might heal from an injury, but the brain keeps firing pain signals anyway. It’s like your nervous system hits replay and forgets how to stop. Conditions like fibromyalgia and long COVID often fall into this mysterious, misunderstood category.
#13
Back pain. It’s all fun and games until you f**k your back up.
detective miller's hat 7 months ago
I get pinched nerves in my upper back every now and then, and I'll have to spend the next 2-3 days basically stuck in one specific [usually awkward] position because that's the only way I'm not in excruciating pain.
So how do you deal with pain that doesn’t go away? Start by naming it. Neuroscientists call this “affect labeling” - putting words to your feelings can calm the brain. Journaling, therapy, or simply venting to a friend helps. Pain is a monster, but once you describe it, you can force it to shrink.
Don’t underestimate the power of small wins. A warm bath, a deep breath, a walk in the sun - these aren't just clichés. They literally help your body regulate stress and pain hormones. Movement can release endorphins, and laughter really is medicine. No, it won’t cure everything - but it can make today a little easier.
#16
It’s actually painless but tinnitus. No one knows how bad it is until u have it really bad.
Marleina Hershberg 7 months ago
I've had it for almost a year now; there's no way to get rid of it.
#17
Sciatic nerve pain.
Uncle Panda 7 months ago (edited)
Sciatica is like having a funny bone installed from your hip down to your calf and then having someone kick it repeatedly. And it ain't funny.
#18
Looking at my old photos and nostalgia causes an inexplicable pain inside, with happiness, longing, sadness, regrets, pride...
WeirdestCal20 7 months ago
I know how this feels, sometimes it's when I listen to a song that either reminds me of a ex best friend, or one of there favorite songs
In his article for the BBC, John Walsh writes that, when investigating pain, the basic procedure for clinics everywhere is to give a patient the McGill Pain Questionnaire. This was developed in the 1970s by two scientists, Dr Ronald Melzack and Dr Warren Torgerson, both of McGill University in Montreal, and is still the main tool for measuring pain in clinics worldwide.
Whether your pain is physical, emotional, or both, you deserve to be heard. Pain isn’t a contest - it's a connection. Talking about it, validating it, and understanding the science behind it can make it a little less scary. So if you’re hurting right now, know this: you’re not alone, and healing is possible.
#19
The s*****e of a parent (or any loved one for that matter).
Final score:
25points
Emilu 7 months ago (edited)
Even acquaintances (which obviously won’t affect people as much as relatives) who commit süicide still affects you. Possible trigger here: I had a family friend’s daughter who found her father in the garage. He hanged himself. She was about to go into her final year of school at the time, so you can imagine how that messed her up. I wish people who are considering süicide could see that people still love them. We want you to live!
#20
Being mentally ill. Bpd, depression, worsening anxiety by the day, paranoia, ptsd. even autism, though ive delt with it my whole life, causes so many problems in my daily life. And knowing that something is wrong with you but not having access to treatment or help makes all of that so much worse. Its always extreme high or extreme low, and it always hurts. .
Blue Bunny of Happiness 7 months ago
People don’t realise how exhausting it is living with poor mental health. Imagine having to argue with your loved one about every decision or action you make. Getting out of bed for example, when your brain argues that there’s no point, you’re a failure and so on. Let’s not even think about the health inequalities it causes eg you missed your appointment because your anxiety prevented you leaving the house, we’ll discharge you because you didn’t attend.
#21
Going through a miscarriage.
Lee Gilliland 7 months ago
And then spending the rest of your life thinking, "If he had been born, he would be x number of years old today. I wonder what he would have been like!" It's been 52 years. It never leaves.
So, now you know a bit about the science of pain, different kinds of pain, and how to deal with them. Pain is a part of the human experience and there’s no escaping it. The best you can do is try to avoid it and not inflict it on the people you meet.
What do you think of the examples in this list? Have you experienced anything similar, or do you have your own painful moments to share? Let us know in the comments!
#22
Having your cervix clamped open and an IUD forced into your uterus with no pain management.
Lee Gilliland 7 months ago
That's effing vicious male chauvinim. "You may feel some discomfort" my *ss.
#23
Really any chronic pain, in my case arthritis. It just destroys you, in every way. Physically, mentally, socially. You can’t do anything and it just doesn’t go away.
Final score:
21points
Laura Osborne 7 months ago
I also have arthritis, had in spine for over 20 years and last year started in both knees and it's just not funny. I work with mostly 17+ year olds (I'm oldest in unit at 52) and nearly all have said that they didn't realise any age person could have it, they expected to be in their 70/80's.
#24
Loss of a sibling.
A girl 7 months ago
I found this online recently. It perfectly sums up losing my brother. Losing a sibling is surreal because you realize that they are like an external hard drive of your childhood. They were the only one that would have remembered this or that, or could correct the story, or topped it with something even crazier that you both shared. Losing them is like a compartmentalized, instant onset Alzheimer’s where some of your most cherished memories get wiped from the earth, never to return. If your collected memories are all that you truly are, then I simply cannot claim to be the same person after his death.
#25
When I moved to Australia, I had the misfortune of getting stung by a stonefish. The pain really is indescribable. I always wear thick beach shoes in the water from now on and even then I try not to set my feet down in the water.
KatSaidWhat 7 months ago
7/8 year old topless me got stung on the n****e by a jellyfish. I still have phantom pain.
#26
Tooth aches, there is sharp pain and there is dull pain, and a tooth ache is the most excruciating dull pain i have endured. When I was 18 I cut a nerve, and couldn't see a dentist for 3 days. I thought some pretty dark thoughts about how to deal with it, my only relief came from depriving myself of oxygen when I dug my head into my pillow. I think my pain tolerance sky rocketed that weekend .
WeirdestCal20 7 months ago (edited)
They suck, even though gritting your teeth is a bad thing, I do it when I have a tooth ache, it makes it feel better for a little. . . .
#27
Trigeminal neuralgia....even worse if it's bilateral. It used to be called the s*icide disease (one can Google to confirm). Yes, it hurts THAT badly. I have bilateral TN, type v3 (meaning it affects all branches of the intracranial nerve). Being severely allergic to carbamazepine (the gold standard treatment), as well as having maxed out on the med cocktail and procedures, my life can be hell. Much understanding to those who are affected.
Final score:
18points
Me 7 months ago
I'm so sorry yours is so bad. My mom has this as well. She found a Dr. at the Mayo clinic in Phoenix who performed a "sling" surgery a few years ago (Dr. Zimmerman I believe). He also put a glycerol shot in her face to numb the area. Her face it still semi numb and she has had no pain and is not on any pain meds anymore. Hopefully it lasts a long time. I hope you are able to find some relief.
#28
Kidney stones for decades because of a congenital defects and a wrecked back from a congenital defect I've had 4 surgeries on now and still will never be pain free. Just able to walk.
Forrest Grump 7 months ago
I have passed about 10 kidney stones. It is like giving birth to a baby that has a dozen sharp edges.
#29
I couldn't understand how people are so afraid of talking to other people until i developed social anxiety after covid... Sweating while thinking about talking to someone is such a pain...
WeirdestCal20 7 months ago
I feel shaky when I think, or try to talk to someone I haven't spoken to, and then I'm thinking, "What will they think of me," or something similar
#30
Panic attack!!
Big Chungus 7 months ago
When I had my first panic attack, I really thought I was having a heart attack and was about to pass out
#32
Gas build up after an operation. There’s a reason they tell you to walk around as much as possible - it’s to release the gas they used to inflate you. I learned this the hard way when I ended up in A&E because I was so “blocked”, I was vomiting and delirious. 0/10 do not recommend. Walk around after your operations (if you can do so safely)!!!
Final score:
13points
#33
Diarrhea lasting for days and the resulting sore a**s. Might not be as bad as some others but holy hell does she t seem like the end of the world in the moment.
Final score:
12points
detective miller's hat 7 months ago
I have Crohn's disease and Burning Butŧhole is one of my least favourite things in the world.
#34
Fibromyalgia. Pain in all parts of the body all the time, In addition to all the other health problems that accompany fibromyalgia.
Final score:
12points
#35
Gout can be excruciating, it is caused by tiny uric acid crystal needles forming in your joints, stabbing you inside your joints.
#36
Acute Pancreatitis. It feels like a red hot poker twisting into your side. You cannot ingest anything until the inflammation goes away. Even sips of water will be instantly ejected while simultaneously ratcheting your pain level back up to 10 and beyond. Basically all you can do is get IV fluids and pain meds until your pancreas chills out. I also spiked a fever over 104 F. Skip it if you can.
Final score:
9points
Hassel Davidhoff 7 months ago
I'll have a year off the booze in 25 days and I'm hoping that helps me avoid this fate.
#37
Signal deterioration. The pain is transient and it moves around. I've been in so much pain in one foot my body was involuntarily crawling away from my right foot, and I couldn't stop it. It's a really weird feeling when your own body's rejecting itself.
Final score:
8points
#38
I got my tongue split a few years back. I willingly did it and was by far the worst pain I ever had. I went 8 days with zero sleep. Had horrible hallucinations (from lack of sleep I'm assuming) Lost over 25 pounds due to lack of eating a real meal instead of popsicle and ice cream. I also spoke like a deaf person for like 2 months. I'm in sales so it was a bad 2 months lol Does it look cool? I think it does. Would i suggest it? Absolutely not
Final score:
0points
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What do you think ?
Doctor Strange 7 months ago
Having the one you love admitting that they were only with you to deliberately push you to commit sui cide.
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 7 months ago
First: I’m so sorry. Second: what the actual f**k.
Load More Replies...
brittany 7 months ago
losing a child. there is no greater pain (in my experience) it feels like a part of me died that day and the rest of me is just waiting to die as well
Doctor Strange 7 months ago
Having the one you love admitting that they were only with you to deliberately push you to commit sui cide.
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 7 months ago
First: I’m so sorry. Second: what the actual f**k.
Load More Replies... brittany 7 months ago
losing a child. there is no greater pain (in my experience) it feels like a part of me died that day and the rest of me is just waiting to die as well
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