Say please and thank you. Make eye contact when having a conversation. Respect other people’s personal space. And please, never ever speak loudly on your phone when in a small, shared space.
Social norms are incredibly powerful. They let us know that we might not want to speak and behave the same way around our bosses that we do around our best friends, and they help us travel via public transit without infuriating all of our fellow passengers. There are plenty of unspoken rules that make our lives simpler, but there might be some that you disagree with as well. Just because society tells you something is right or wrong doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to question it.
Reddit users have recently been sharing examples of things society considers to be bad that are actually perfectly normal, so we’ve gathered a list of their most spot-on responses below. From circumstances we all experience to harmless behaviors that shouldn't carry any moral weight, this list is full of reminders that sometimes society’s rules are just arbitrary. Enjoy devouring this food for thought, and don't forget to upvote the replies featuring things you’d like to normalize as well!
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Assisted suicide. If your pet does not have a good prognosis your vet will recommend putting them to sleep. Why do we make humans suffer to the bitter end? Sure, we give them medicine to make them comfortable, but why extend that timeframe if they nothing left to do? They made their will, they said goodbye, now they wait and run up a bill for their family to pay?? If you have terminal illness, you should be able to die with dignity.
Doing nothing with my free time.
I work and have chores. When I don't have those things, I don't feel like hiking or scuba diving or anything.
I want to do nothing. Leave me alone.
Absolutely! People are saying I need to get a hobby, but I really need to do nothing sometimes. My free time is just a few ours monthly, so no hobbies are worth it 😃
A lot of people are quick to call you "fake" if you're polite to those you dislike.
It's not being fake, it's being civil.
YES! Just because I don't like someone doesn't mean I will be rude to them!
Not having kids if you don't want them.
Having kids you don't want is bad.
Completely agree. Yet, people think that we, who don't have children, are considered selfish. Having children is not for everybody.
That reasoning has never made sense to me. Isn't it more selfish to bring a life into this world just because you want to? Having a kid is one of the most selfish things you can do, you bring a whole person into existence and society and nobody but you and your partner asked for that to happen. And that's okay. We're allowed to do selfish things. I just don't see how not adding more lives into the mix is supposedly the selfish thing.
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For me it’s as simple as: Have kids if you want them, don’t have kids if you don’t want them. What I don’t like is when people from either viewpoint criticize the other. As a parent, if I express slight jealousy at someone’s new car in relation to my minivan I shouldn’t get a “Well then you shouldn’t have had kids,” as though I regret my children or would trade them for a car. Just the same, parents shouldn’t tell child-free people that their lives don’t have meaning without kids.
Wished I could upvote you more. Nowadays it seems not possible to be on side A without bashing side B. Both sides have their positives and negatives.
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Yes. The question shouldn't be "why don't you want kids?" It should be "why DO you?" If you can't think of a good reason besides everyone says you should, don't have them.
I like this. Procreation is an irreversible life change, better make damn sure you know what you're signing up for, and are prepared to handle it
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Totally agree. I'll be 43 this year.. and I've never wanted kids.. and I think that's ok.
It is okay. Your life is YOUR life. Live it as you want!
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I'm not a breeder. The world is going well n the toilet, no need in creating more wasteful beings to pollute and destroy. Adoption is a better option to help a soul through this crazy world for of mystery, love, and dreams. There is always two ways or more to solve a need or desire.
THIS is the problem. The hatred you show for other people is just terrible.
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Older woman here, and there is such a thing as positive selfishness. This is an example. Know what you do and don't want, and I'll go even further: knowing what you do not want is just that bit more valuable than knowing what you do want. Soon to be 55, was twice married for 25 years, no kids, no regrets. Knew from single digits I very much wanted to be married and happy, knew from single digits I never wanted kids. And I was a teacher for 25 years. About 20-25% of all teachers don't have kids. You can work well with kids and not want to be pregnant, give birth, raise them, just help the ones already here do well.
I hate that ppl don't understand that some ppl cannot have kids. I'm not explaining to someone the agony I've gone through for their curiosity. They can think whatever they want.
Exactly, For example i dont want kids but have stage 4 endo so it would be impossible anyway.
Load More Replies... We are already well on our way to overpopulating this planet, so why not just leave that to those who actually enjoy it and not force everbody to take part of the madness. You don't have any right to demand grandchildren, and as those will be a bigger part of your children's life than yours, it should really be their decition alone. Don't pressure them into it to satisfy your own needs. Not everybody is fit to take care of a child, and some people are smart enough to realise this before propergating and avoid creating a lifetime of missery.
I have children but many of my close friends don't. And they are completely happy with that decision and lead wonderful, fulfilled lives. Imagine that! lol
I remember when my husband and I got married in 2009. We worked together at the time and the first question our coworkers had for us is "when are you having kids?" We knew at the time that we didn't want kids and would probably never want kids. We told our coworkers that we're having a hard enough time supporting ourselves financially, so kids were out of the question until we were stable and could afford them. We figured that might shut them up for a while - we were wrong. The first thing they said is that if we waited to be able to afford kids, we would never have them. And that we would regret not having them over something as insignificant as financial concerns because we would die alone with no one to take care of us in our old age. One of those coworkers was in her thirties and had 8 kids! No thanks, not interested in strapping ourselves to a money sucking anchor because we want to saddle our offspring with caring for us when we're old - it's selfish and entitled thinking.
I like how the parents will start harassing their child about when they're going to get some grandkids 5 minutes after they get married.
There's plenty of couples that can not have kids. Consider putting the child of an unwanted pregnancy up for adoption. Abortion shouldn't be a substitute for failed birth control.
Yes, but if you don't have children you'll be free to enjoy your life & not be a slave to the system. If you want them & can afford them, have them but leave me alone.
Yeah, or they keep harrassing you about how 'you might want kids later on!' 'Don't say that, you might change your mind!' .... Yeah, I might. But right now, please respect my decision. They make it out to be that I WILL want kids but i.. Don't
And when you say you don't want kids, or don't like kids they tell you it will be different if it's your own kid. Like, that's a big risk for a maybe.
Having kids at all is irresponsible. We are adding the population of Germany each year to the global population. That's roughly 80 million more people on this planet every year. That is simply not sustainable. All these countries trying to make their citizens breed is killing the planet. We have far too many as it is. India, I'm looking at you with your 1.4 BILLION and growing citizens. Why do you think having a ton of kids is a good thing? You are destroying the planet and all life on it. What happens when you've consumed all the natural resources of your country like a giant plague of locusts?
Education and decent employment is the best solution to this.
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I'd rather be selfish only for myself for not having children, than having them for selfish reasons and f*****g them up.
Such an intimate decision is the business of no one but the two people it affects directly.
I don't want kids of my own. I'd marry a man with kids or adopt
Lets turn it around: So it's fine for kids to have parents who don't want them? So long as those parents had kids at all? Even if they knew they didn't want to?
I wish more people would stop having kids, the US. Is looking like idiocracy
Please note that it's always plural! It never "when are you having a child?" It's always "children". You are still considered a monster if you have only one. Some will evem argue that you are even more of a monster for not providing a younger sibling for the kid to torment and beat up.
Why do you need to argue why you don't want to have children. World would be a better place if people don't get children unless they really want to. Big advice. If you're relation isn't really strong, children will not make it better.
Although the stigma that having children is a punishment is also false. Nothing wrong with wanting to have kids either.
I agree, those people who pressure you to have kids probably never heard of natural selection.
Also, if I only want the one child I have, please stop asking when we are having more.
I have never had children. I always felt that it would not be fair to the child, the childc's nvother or, most of all, me.
Abortion
Fewer children born into poverty or in situations where they aren’t wanted is a net positive. It’s actually been proven that abortion lowers crime.
I can't believe they made it illegal in the States, that's madness! If you make it illegal it will just go underground and women will die. It happened in the past and will happen again. Woman deserve the have the choice about what happens to their bodies
a socialist health system. You shouldn't need to pay to stay alive.
In my experience, some people see not being close with your family as a red flag. Not sure why. Like, sorry? I didn't get to pick my family. Lol.
Being able to identify toxic people and cutting them out of your life before their abuse break you down, can be a major green flag, and a true sign of strength as it is not an easy thing to do.
Waking up late. But getting a few more hours sleep is far more beneficial than some YouTube hustler saying you should wake up at 5 am for no reason.
I'm on board on sleeping-in. I like my sleep, and if I don't have to be anywhere/somewhere, what's the point of getting-up so early?
Being alone
Mental health care. People want to pretend if you just ignore mental health problems, they will go away. Does cancer go away if you ignore it?
I will just shove my mental problems under this rug. What I don't see doesn't exist, right?
Cultural appropriation. The spread of a culture to people groups who are outside the originating culture is a good thing.
As long as they aren’t mocking or insulting the people and their culture, there shouldn’t be a problem
Talk about your salary. This literally just exist so that the working class doesn't talk about unbalanced wages and starts to question their bosses
Pssssstttt Americans: It’s actually illegal for companies to forbid you from talking about your salary. Violates your right to Unionize or something obscure.
Using social services. It is what they are there for, and you helped pay for them.
Men having emotions
Men having emotions other than anger, women being angry or being unemotional. It's like men are only allowed to be either angry or unemotional and women must feel some feelings but it must not be anger.
Being lazy, there is nothing wrong with spending the whole weekend just playing video games and watching movies! As long as you don't neglect your kids or pets during that time who cares what you did on the weekends or after work!
I guess if you don't live with anyone else and you aren't neglecting other responsibilities that you have, then there's nothing wrong with it.
sex education for people younger than the age of expected sexual activity
Politicians changing their minds when presented with new information.
Failing. Failing does not mean you are a failure. Just means you tried something and it didn't work out right. It is very possible that "Those who never failed also never tried." is true.
Doing things (like going to a restaurant) alone
What's wrong with going to a restaurant alone? Let alone, doing things alone?
Piracy for incredibly old movies/games etc. If its no longer available, then it should be encouraged if anything.
Funny- I never thought of games and movies not entering the public domain. Something to think about
**One example** of something that society considers to be bad but is not inherently so is aging. While aging is often associated with decline and loss, it can also bring wisdom, maturity, and a greater appreciation for life. It is often how society views aging and the cultural attitudes toward the elderly that are negative, not the process itself.
You're not allowed to age now? What the hell else are you going to do?
Poverty. Have you noticed how most people treat those who make little money? Yes, there are some hard-core slackers who don't want to work, but most people work their asses off to make a living, and it's not because of laziness, but because of social or health reasons. It is worth remembering that one day you make fun of the poor, and the next day you are begging for your own bread. Be kind!
Not tipping workers who do basic stuff like handing me a cup of coffee or a takeout bag. It’s okay to not want to pay 20% for just handing me stuff I bought.
The issue is that at least in the US, they have set up a really crazy system where people like e.g. waiter has been allowed to "setup their own business inside a restaurant" rather than being paid staff by the restaurant owner. They are paid so little that they must rely on being able to be paid in tips, so you are basically making them work almost for free if you don't tip them, and that is not fair either. I like the european model more where the pay for the waiters are determined in advance and added to the price of the meal, so they don't have to gamble on your mercy.
Voluntary celibacy.
People act like you're missing out, or wierd just because you don't want to have sex.
Breastfeeding in public
Breastfeeding in public should be banned, but only after eating in public is banned, because that's what breastfeeding actually is - giving food to your child.
Not working 24/7 or participating in the “hustle culture”
I used to work for someone, who would frown on us whenever we leave on time. He thinks that we're not being "loyal" if we didn't stay late. A hostile work environment, too. Thank goodness, it didn't take long for me to find a different job, where it wasn't as stressful. We did some overtime, when need be, but not all the time.
Not having kids.
Stop asking people, you never know what they’re going through, and it’s nobody’s business.
As I've said before, having children is not for everybody. For some, it might be as personal as having some medical issues. Really, it's nobody's business.
Cutting off your parents/family if they're toxic.
Your relationships are your choice :) it's not for anyone else to say
Talking about periods.
Talking to yourself.
Having disagreements. Totally normally to disagree with people. It’s even more normal to disagree with your friends and still remain friends.
I beg to differ. I am not going to stay friends with people who have different opinions on women's and LGBTIQ-rights or are racist.
Being comfortable enough to relax and find enjoyment at home. You shouldn’t need to constantly leave your home to find enjoyment. It’s not bad to spend those staying home without going out shopping, to restaurants, to special events etc. there’s nothing wrong with relaxing at home
Taking things that have been discarded but are perfectly good.
When I lived downtown, it went like this: Good stuff - laundry room. Less good? hanging around the dumpster for the divers. Only total garbage went in the dumpster. I live in a small town now - Good stuff - posted to town facebook page. Less good? donate to thrift. Only total garbage sent to landfill. Reduce, reuse, recycle, love your mother Earth.
Cursing and nudity. Especially in US. You people are so prude
Knowledge, apparently. Seems like educating others and speaking on a topic you are certified to speak in is an offense to them somehow, so they think you're speaking down to them if you disagree with them.
This is common, especially in the USA. If you are not a conspiracy theorist who believes in every stupid thing known to man, you are a sheep
Sensitive straight guys
The stupid machismo image that society led many of us to believe that men are not "real" men, if they're sensitive🙄🤦🏻♀️
Helping others and gaining nothing from it. I don't mean like charity work but if I come across someone in need that might just need to talk to someone I don't mind being that person. Have a few friends that are baffled by that idea that I don't need anything in return to help.
Providing help to pedophiles so they don't commit crimes.
Pedophilia does not mean someone is automatically an abuser. We need to stop harmful media portraying every single person out there with an illness as a criminal. For this, it needs to be treated, but people who have it *won't* get help if they're afraid they will be destroyed by word getting out that they have said illness. There are far more people with this that never harm any children their entire lives than those who do. This is backed by scientific research and studies, but the moment anyone tries to say not *all* these people are monsters, they're vilified themselves. We need to let them get help. Maybe one day we can track down something, somehow, that stops this, and we need to try to help those that have it to do that.
Abortions.
This is probably going to get a lot of replies/backlash but this needs to be said: People deserve the right to make choices about their health on their own. They don't need a government/society telling them that they can't be free to make their own decisions. (btw, parents make most*, if not all decisions regarding their child's health). *edit-typo
Being single.
all of my friends date, but I don’t need to! Poetry and novels instead!
Showing affection.
I'm not a tactile person or one for showing a lot of affection, but one day when a friend gave me some really sad news I just went over to her and held her hand, and later on she said just how much that meant to her.
Note: this post originally had 100 images. It’s been shortened to the top 45 images based on user votes.
I think someone there at BP needs to curate these lists a little better and remove repeats.
Introversion, Having children before marriage (a big no-no in my area) Being short, Being average weight, not stick thin, Living alone, Veganism, Religion, Age gaps in relationships (within reason) literally ANYTHING in the world as long as 1) you are not hurting anyone, and 2) you are not pushing your beliefs unto others.
Age gaps really, really depends. You can't say 'anything over 20 is bad'- what if a 70 year old and a 90 year old are dating for the first time? You also can't say that anything under, say, 5 years, is alright, because what if a 14 year old and an 18 yea rold were dating? That's creepy as f**k. It's about maturity level, not just age. The older you get, the bigger gaps can be without getting creepy. 50 and 60 is fine, but 15 and 25 is a problem
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Also not bad but needlessly villainized: rejecting your assigned gender from birth, being open about having been born intersex.
Good points!! Except cultural appropriation isn’t what you think it is! It’s when people of the majority use culture of a minority to profit or gain where someone from the minority culture would have been oppressed.
I love the article, I just wish you would pay for someone to proofread and edit. Or add this to your list of now acceptable things, "misspellings and grammatical errors are now acceptable in articles."
Being petty or spiteful. It’s been glamorised lately and applauded. You frequently see it on BP and other social media.
I thought this was gonna be real stuff. I came in here expecting American Cheese and Nickelback. But instead I freaking got platitudes.
So if through no fault of your own you're unemployed you should live on the streets until you starve to death?
Having to constantly "further yourself". Why? I'm happy and comfortable as I am, why do I need to push myself further to achieve more greatness or something
Being religious. Religious ppl get the aggressive reputation but there is sooo much derogatory antireligious content out there that isn't even I don't believe in Gd but you are stupid and evil BC you do
Don't forget annual evaluations at work and/or bonuses. Work Management wants that hush-hush. Favoritism shows then.
Ill put a very controversial one here. I am very convinced ' elitist leaders' , leaders that actually know more, know better, like in the past are often so much better than the current populism. Neither is ideal, but populism without ideals and true leadership is much worst for society than leaders willing and able to tell people they know better.
Tell me you're racist and sexist without telling me you're racist and sexist (source; a white man)
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I think someone there at BP needs to curate these lists a little better and remove repeats.
Introversion, Having children before marriage (a big no-no in my area) Being short, Being average weight, not stick thin, Living alone, Veganism, Religion, Age gaps in relationships (within reason) literally ANYTHING in the world as long as 1) you are not hurting anyone, and 2) you are not pushing your beliefs unto others.
Age gaps really, really depends. You can't say 'anything over 20 is bad'- what if a 70 year old and a 90 year old are dating for the first time? You also can't say that anything under, say, 5 years, is alright, because what if a 14 year old and an 18 yea rold were dating? That's creepy as f**k. It's about maturity level, not just age. The older you get, the bigger gaps can be without getting creepy. 50 and 60 is fine, but 15 and 25 is a problem
Load More Replies... Also not bad but needlessly villainized: rejecting your assigned gender from birth, being open about having been born intersex.
Good points!! Except cultural appropriation isn’t what you think it is! It’s when people of the majority use culture of a minority to profit or gain where someone from the minority culture would have been oppressed.
I love the article, I just wish you would pay for someone to proofread and edit. Or add this to your list of now acceptable things, "misspellings and grammatical errors are now acceptable in articles."
Being petty or spiteful. It’s been glamorised lately and applauded. You frequently see it on BP and other social media.
I thought this was gonna be real stuff. I came in here expecting American Cheese and Nickelback. But instead I freaking got platitudes.
So if through no fault of your own you're unemployed you should live on the streets until you starve to death?
Having to constantly "further yourself". Why? I'm happy and comfortable as I am, why do I need to push myself further to achieve more greatness or something
Being religious. Religious ppl get the aggressive reputation but there is sooo much derogatory antireligious content out there that isn't even I don't believe in Gd but you are stupid and evil BC you do
Don't forget annual evaluations at work and/or bonuses. Work Management wants that hush-hush. Favoritism shows then.
Ill put a very controversial one here. I am very convinced ' elitist leaders' , leaders that actually know more, know better, like in the past are often so much better than the current populism. Neither is ideal, but populism without ideals and true leadership is much worst for society than leaders willing and able to tell people they know better.
Tell me you're racist and sexist without telling me you're racist and sexist (source; a white man)
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