Say please and thank you. Make eye contact when having a conversation. Respect other people’s personal space. And please, never ever speak loudly on your phone when in a small, shared space.
Social norms are incredibly powerful. They let us know that we might not want to speak and behave the same way around our bosses that we do around our best friends, and they help us travel via public transit without infuriating all of our fellow passengers. There are plenty of unspoken rules that make our lives simpler, but there might be some that you disagree with as well. Just because society tells you something is right or wrong doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to question it.
Reddit users have recently been sharing examples of things society considers to be bad that are actually perfectly normal, so we’ve gathered a list of their most spot-on responses below. From circumstances we all experience to harmless behaviors that shouldn't carry any moral weight, this list is full of reminders that sometimes society’s rules are just arbitrary. Enjoy devouring this food for thought, and don't forget to upvote the replies featuring things you’d like to normalize as well!
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Assisted suicide. If your pet does not have a good prognosis your vet will recommend putting them to sleep. Why do we make humans suffer to the bitter end? Sure, we give them medicine to make them comfortable, but why extend that timeframe if they nothing left to do? They made their will, they said goodbye, now they wait and run up a bill for their family to pay?? If you have terminal illness, you should be able to die with dignity.
That's NOT the point of the post. Even with free healthcare people should be able to decide if they've had enough
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My gramps had severe cancer in the stomach (i don't know the details, i was 10 at that time). He only told us when he collapsed. After that, he had two weeks left to life. He couldn't even lift a finger and was in such excrutiating pain that even the morphium did not really help. He begged to die, and we couldn't help him. No one could. It was really awful. He was not the greatest person, not at all. But this kind of suffer i wouldn't even wish for my biggest enemy. Every dog would have been put to sleep in an instant. He had to suffer two weeks! That's why i support assisted suicide completely. He could have gone far sooner without so much pain. I think going by will is far more humane than letting someone suffer just because.
That's so awful... Why not help the poor man? This form of euthanasia (when a person is suffering without hopes for healing) is totally normal in my country. I honestly don't understand why you wouldn't help 'speed up' the process a little and avoid someone going through all the pain you just described.
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Because the modern medical industry loves it! They suck out all the gold they can and don't care about our pain. American medicine is not a hospital with doctors trying to help people anymore (don't know if it ever was.) It is a business, a corrupt corporation, with the exception of a select few good hearts.
And even if the wishes are made clear, they still ignore them! My husband & I (he was a cop, I’m an EMT, so we’ve seen terrible things) both made out our end of life orders. He got terribly sick suddenly. I signed NEW orders not to resuscitate at the hospital, as he went into organ failure. Went home to take care of our pets & get a bit of sleep. Woke up to a phone call…they’d been doing CPR for an hour! I had to drive there and sign MORE papers to get them to stop. It was a Christian hospital, they shrugged.
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Yep, I often say we are more human to animals when it comes to this.
Or they withhold sufficient medication because... reasons. That's what the doctors did to my mom, and none of them could give us an explanation. She was begging my father to smother her.
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With the right stops in place I 100% agree. Just gotta make sure it can't be taken advantage of by people with nefarious motives
There should be no stops. We should just be able to say I'm done. I own my body and can make decisions for it. Depressed, mentally ill, even then. You want a permanent solution, here you go. Why should anyone else's opinion matter?
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It has to do with bad-faith slippery-slope arguments along the lines of, “If we allow assisted suicide as an option, we’ll start telling grandma to off herself just to save money on care.” I guess if your thought process is that juvenile you might reach that conclusion but it’s a lot more nuanced than given credit for. One thing is for sure: if profit weren’t a part of the healthcare industry, that argument would lose any value it does have.
I need your post to be higher. It's all about people getting up in their feelings and creating these bad-faith arguments. It can sometimes be pure selfishness: I don't want my grandma deciding to end her life although very little of it is now worth living, because *I* will miss her. But a selfless act is to give up that decision and feeling, understand, and support the person who desires MAID - with that decision made, the quality of life can be enjoyed until the decided end, a nicer end than what terminal cancer will bring upon her.
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My Mom died of pancreatic cancer in 2011. I took care of her at the end on home hospice. She was too good a person to suffer like that at the end. I planned to give her all the morphine that was left at her 7am med time. Just to end her and the families suffering. She died at 6:30am
And, if we didn't have a bunch of yellow-bellied legislators kowtowing to the fanatical religious mobs, we would have our dignity. This won't happen until the US government follows the Constitution and kicks religion out of politics.
You are correct, SEPARATE RELIGION AND POLITICS! and tax churches!!!
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Same for the Netherlands, in cases where there is 'uitzichtloos lijden' (which means something along the lines of suffering without any hopes of recovery).
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You should be able to die with dignity if you want period. The government should have absolutely no say in it.
Every time this subject comes up, I like to recommend Terry Pratchett's essay "Shaking hands with death." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90b1MBwnEHM&t=1999s
We have a friend who did choose this after a diagnoses of an inoperable brain tumour. I would choose this myself if I knew my situation was similar. Honestly, my cats have had a better end of life than so many of my family members. We have a very good support system in our province...thank goodness.
In Canada we have MAID. Medically assisted intentional death. It is monitored and a process, just to be sure. But you don’t have to jump through hoops either. For instance, if you are diagnosed with ALS, you know your future. You can, at any point notify the program and discuss everything that is your wishes. There is a further process, but you get to choose when you’ve had enough.
I read somewhere that like 80% of our medical expenses is spent on the last 20 years of people's lives?
BTW, I've been a German citizen and American citizen. Healthcare is better in Germany, prompt effective care. America make an appointment 2 months out and wait for doctor to write an order for the x-ray I need..good luck. We are better not to know better. In Germany doctor visit same day lab work and X-ray, then return to the doctor and get results and prescriptions needed for my condition. All within 2 hours out the door. American pride, keep our heads deep in the sand because only the rich people report nothing is wrong with the system and they're always right. How do you know the other systems don't work? Have you lived in Germany on their system? I have, I am American. I know, I did it. But, whatever you do believe the news over me. The news people that report only negative stories because that's all we want to hear. Even if, it's something that happens infrequently, we want to believe that over the norm. We want to believe the worst of others over the honest truth. Yep, I said it!
I have a degenerative muscle disease (think MD meets ALS). Not fatal per se, but eventually bedridden and completely dependent upon others for everything in life. It also hit me 10 years earlier than the "early" cases. I am in America and have some really good insurance... but I will not suffer through that point. Even without debt, I will make that decision for myself when the time comes. The amount of hoops and tricks I need to have dignity at the end of my life is appalling.
Thissssss, Im passionate about this topic, i rather die swifly and in peace, that having to spend the rest of my life in a bed not being able to move, or slowly wasting away untill i finaly die, and don't you f*****g dare to bring religion in to this argument, religion means s**t in a secular country.
My living will doesn’t allow lifesaving interventions- they can’t even feed me if I forget to eat. They’ll force us to suffer vs allowing nature to take its course.
My grandmother did this because after the cancer treatment didn't work she didn't want us(the family) to have to watch her deteriorate before she passed. My dad got upset at first but once I was able to get through to him he understood.
As someone who watched his friend of 46 years die a slow, miserable death from cancer, I agree.
I Feel The Same As I Do About Drugs. Decriminalization Not Legalization. Get The Government And Attendant Agencies Out Of It All Together. Sweden (Or Maybe Switzerland??) Has An In Home Suicide Pod. Normalize That To The Point That Every Home (Including Rentals) Comes With One And Maybe We'd Be Getting Somewhere??
Less tough when you've watched someone you love die from cancer.
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When my great aunt finally died she had been bed ridden for at least 5 years. She wasn't coherent and didn't know what was going on. She was probably less than 80lbs when she finally died. I remember family saying s**t like, "She must still have work to do on earth". Really? She's going to magically get up one day and Rambo or something.
Grand uncle died of lung cancer that metastasized into his bones. He was in excruciating pain in the end, but what we all know is that some sympathetic nurse or doctor disabled the limits on his morphine pump. He held on until he could see his grandkids and then medicated the pain away. I wish these kinds of things wouldn't need to be done in secret
9 states (CA, CO, HI, ME, NJ, NM, OR, VT, and WA) and DC legalized Medical Aid in Dying (MAID) via legislation 1 state (MT) has legal Medical Aid in Dying (MAID) via court ruling. This is a good resource: https://euthanasia.procon.org/states-with-legal-physician-assisted-suicide/
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Some states in the us allow assisted suicide. Nevada is one of them.
And why do you have to be dying of a painful disease? If you want to end your life, even if you are perfectly healthy, you should be able to without repercussions.
Weirdly I was just talking about that with my dad. This guy Hisashi Ouchi is the extrem of people try to make you save no matter how bad your wellbeing is, well at that point, his case was more of an experiment.
I wish we could have it. I watched my dad struggle at the end and not get the care he needed at the nursing home and watch him die as a shell of himself. I hope by the time I'm ready to die it's legal so I don't have to suffer like he did.
"...if you have terminal illness..." Totally agree on this. Unfortunately there are now many notable cases of medical assistance with completely treatable and otherwise non-deadly things like depression. This is sick and terrifying.
Not all depression is treatable. There is a portion of the population (myself included) that is considered treatment resistant. Ive suffered for 20 years with debilitating depression and Ive tried everything available to me besides ECT (that will be my next course of treatment) Ive been on at least 40 different medications, ketamine, microdosing, bufo toad medicine and many more alternative treatments. Unfortunately I just dont respond to treatment or it stops working. Ive been almost catatonic at points and i know people who are much worse off than I am. My dr’s say I may need to just accept this is how my life will always be. I’m not looking to die yet but honestly theres no way I can live the rest of my life this way. Im not living, Im existing.
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I think it's because many people are not happy unless they are telling others how to live (or die.) Also it comes from religion & the church. Apparently suffering is supposed to be good for us & gets us into heaven. BS! Another way reason to control everything. We're not asking them to die, we just want the right to make the decision to live or die for ourselves.
If you saw someone about to jump off a bridge you'd try to stop them or you'd be an awful person. Someone would have to be truly terminal for me to entertain this as a moral thing. And it should not be medicalized, that is the opposite of do no harm. Everyone knows painless ways to commit suicide but if we start letting doctors lethally inject us I fear where we go from there
the irony is that many people wouldn't have to choose an "unnatural" death if modern society wasnt obsessed with extending life by any means possible, no matter the cost or actual benefit
I see this sometimes, a cat or dog, just so so tired and in pain. Even paralyzed sometimes. Can't eat or drink, or play. That's not a quality of life. When I suggested it might be better to let go, all hell broke loose. I was the devil and a murderer. Like what?? Are you ffing blind? That's it's hard, I get it, but they are just being selfish at one point.
When I was really sick I thought a lot about the right to assisted suicide. It's very hard to know where to draw that line. But we should be talking more about it. The government in the U.K. tried to pass an assisted death law but it wasn't successful. I do think that people are helped to die; it's just done at the very end of life to prevent suffering with increased pain meds. But in places like Switzerland you can pay to end your own life i if you fit into the very strict criteria- I think it's the Gravias clinics if anyone wants to know more.
Assisted Suicide is Legal in my state of Victoria Australia and I am grateful that our politicians has the good sense to allow it to happen .
Thankfully in Colorado Dr assisted suicide is legal if you're terminally ill.
As someone who has cared for injured wildlife, oftentimes the kindest thing to do would be to give the animal “the gift of death”. Why can’t we extend that kindness and HUMANITY to, you know, humans?
In Canada you don’t qualify for MAID if you have Alzheimer’s or Dementia
I say even without terminal illness, if you are just ready to go for any reason, you should have options that won't leave you for someone to find a horrific "surprise" one day
You missed the point. Would you like to suffer painfully for days. Because if you have a deadly disease or problem the doctors probably won't do much except keep you as long as you can while you writhe in horrible pain while friends and family observe you in that state which hurts them too. They would be traumatized and not be able to do anything to help they feel guilty and helpless. All because of you, your stubborn, arrogant thought process and refusing to be euthanized. Also sometimes it's not your decision it's the family's or doctor's decision.
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Doing nothing with my free time.
I work and have chores. When I don't have those things, I don't feel like hiking or scuba diving or anything.
I want to do nothing. Leave me alone.
Absolutely! People are saying I need to get a hobby, but I really need to do nothing sometimes. My free time is just a few ours monthly, so no hobbies are worth it 😃
A lot of people are quick to call you "fake" if you're polite to those you dislike.
It's not being fake, it's being civil.
YES! Just because I don't like someone doesn't mean I will be rude to them!
Not having kids if you don't want them.
Having kids you don't want is bad.
Completely agree. Yet, people think that we, who don't have children, are considered selfish. Having children is not for everybody.
Abortion
Fewer children born into poverty or in situations where they aren’t wanted is a net positive. It’s actually been proven that abortion lowers crime.
I can't believe they made it illegal in the States, that's madness! If you make it illegal it will just go underground and women will die. It happened in the past and will happen again. Woman deserve the have the choice about what happens to their bodies
a socialist health system. You shouldn't need to pay to stay alive.
In my experience, some people see not being close with your family as a red flag. Not sure why. Like, sorry? I didn't get to pick my family. Lol.
Being able to identify toxic people and cutting them out of your life before their abuse break you down, can be a major green flag, and a true sign of strength as it is not an easy thing to do.
Waking up late. But getting a few more hours sleep is far more beneficial than some YouTube hustler saying you should wake up at 5 am for no reason.
I'm on board on sleeping-in. I like my sleep, and if I don't have to be anywhere/somewhere, what's the point of getting-up so early?
Being alone
Mental health care. People want to pretend if you just ignore mental health problems, they will go away. Does cancer go away if you ignore it?
I will just shove my mental problems under this rug. What I don't see doesn't exist, right?
Cultural appropriation. The spread of a culture to people groups who are outside the originating culture is a good thing.
As long as they aren’t mocking or insulting the people and their culture, there shouldn’t be a problem
Talk about your salary. This literally just exist so that the working class doesn't talk about unbalanced wages and starts to question their bosses
Pssssstttt Americans: It’s actually illegal for companies to forbid you from talking about your salary. Violates your right to Unionize or something obscure.
Using social services. It is what they are there for, and you helped pay for them.
Men having emotions
Men having emotions other than anger, women being angry or being unemotional. It's like men are only allowed to be either angry or unemotional and women must feel some feelings but it must not be anger.
Being lazy, there is nothing wrong with spending the whole weekend just playing video games and watching movies! As long as you don't neglect your kids or pets during that time who cares what you did on the weekends or after work!
I guess if you don't live with anyone else and you aren't neglecting other responsibilities that you have, then there's nothing wrong with it.
sex education for people younger than the age of expected sexual activity
Politicians changing their minds when presented with new information.
Failing. Failing does not mean you are a failure. Just means you tried something and it didn't work out right. It is very possible that "Those who never failed also never tried." is true.
Doing things (like going to a restaurant) alone
What's wrong with going to a restaurant alone? Let alone, doing things alone?
Piracy for incredibly old movies/games etc. If its no longer available, then it should be encouraged if anything.
Funny- I never thought of games and movies not entering the public domain. Something to think about
**One example** of something that society considers to be bad but is not inherently so is aging. While aging is often associated with decline and loss, it can also bring wisdom, maturity, and a greater appreciation for life. It is often how society views aging and the cultural attitudes toward the elderly that are negative, not the process itself.
You're not allowed to age now? What the hell else are you going to do?
Poverty. Have you noticed how most people treat those who make little money? Yes, there are some hard-core slackers who don't want to work, but most people work their asses off to make a living, and it's not because of laziness, but because of social or health reasons. It is worth remembering that one day you make fun of the poor, and the next day you are begging for your own bread. Be kind!
Not tipping workers who do basic stuff like handing me a cup of coffee or a takeout bag. It’s okay to not want to pay 20% for just handing me stuff I bought.
The issue is that at least in the US, they have set up a really crazy system where people like e.g. waiter has been allowed to "setup their own business inside a restaurant" rather than being paid staff by the restaurant owner. They are paid so little that they must rely on being able to be paid in tips, so you are basically making them work almost for free if you don't tip them, and that is not fair either. I like the european model more where the pay for the waiters are determined in advance and added to the price of the meal, so they don't have to gamble on your mercy.
Voluntary celibacy.
People act like you're missing out, or wierd just because you don't want to have sex.
Breastfeeding in public
Breastfeeding in public should be banned, but only after eating in public is banned, because that's what breastfeeding actually is - giving food to your child.
Not working 24/7 or participating in the “hustle culture”
I used to work for someone, who would frown on us whenever we leave on time. He thinks that we're not being "loyal" if we didn't stay late. A hostile work environment, too. Thank goodness, it didn't take long for me to find a different job, where it wasn't as stressful. We did some overtime, when need be, but not all the time.
Not having kids.
Stop asking people, you never know what they’re going through, and it’s nobody’s business.
As I've said before, having children is not for everybody. For some, it might be as personal as having some medical issues. Really, it's nobody's business.
Cutting off your parents/family if they're toxic.
Your relationships are your choice :) it's not for anyone else to say
Talking about periods.
Talking to yourself.
Having disagreements. Totally normally to disagree with people. It’s even more normal to disagree with your friends and still remain friends.
I beg to differ. I am not going to stay friends with people who have different opinions on women's and LGBTIQ-rights or are racist.
Being comfortable enough to relax and find enjoyment at home. You shouldn’t need to constantly leave your home to find enjoyment. It’s not bad to spend those staying home without going out shopping, to restaurants, to special events etc. there’s nothing wrong with relaxing at home
Taking things that have been discarded but are perfectly good.
When I lived downtown, it went like this: Good stuff - laundry room. Less good? hanging around the dumpster for the divers. Only total garbage went in the dumpster. I live in a small town now - Good stuff - posted to town facebook page. Less good? donate to thrift. Only total garbage sent to landfill. Reduce, reuse, recycle, love your mother Earth.
Cursing and nudity. Especially in US. You people are so prude
Knowledge, apparently. Seems like educating others and speaking on a topic you are certified to speak in is an offense to them somehow, so they think you're speaking down to them if you disagree with them.
This is common, especially in the USA. If you are not a conspiracy theorist who believes in every stupid thing known to man, you are a sheep
Sensitive straight guys
The stupid machismo image that society led many of us to believe that men are not "real" men, if they're sensitive🙄🤦🏻♀️
Helping others and gaining nothing from it. I don't mean like charity work but if I come across someone in need that might just need to talk to someone I don't mind being that person. Have a few friends that are baffled by that idea that I don't need anything in return to help.
Providing help to pedophiles so they don't commit crimes.
Pedophilia does not mean someone is automatically an abuser. We need to stop harmful media portraying every single person out there with an illness as a criminal. For this, it needs to be treated, but people who have it *won't* get help if they're afraid they will be destroyed by word getting out that they have said illness. There are far more people with this that never harm any children their entire lives than those who do. This is backed by scientific research and studies, but the moment anyone tries to say not *all* these people are monsters, they're vilified themselves. We need to let them get help. Maybe one day we can track down something, somehow, that stops this, and we need to try to help those that have it to do that.
Abortions.
This is probably going to get a lot of replies/backlash but this needs to be said: People deserve the right to make choices about their health on their own. They don't need a government/society telling them that they can't be free to make their own decisions. (btw, parents make most*, if not all decisions regarding their child's health). *edit-typo
Being single.
all of my friends date, but I don’t need to! Poetry and novels instead!
Showing affection.
I'm not a tactile person or one for showing a lot of affection, but one day when a friend gave me some really sad news I just went over to her and held her hand, and later on she said just how much that meant to her.
Note: this post originally had 100 images. It’s been shortened to the top 45 images based on user votes.
I think someone there at BP needs to curate these lists a little better and remove repeats.
Introversion, Having children before marriage (a big no-no in my area) Being short, Being average weight, not stick thin, Living alone, Veganism, Religion, Age gaps in relationships (within reason) literally ANYTHING in the world as long as 1) you are not hurting anyone, and 2) you are not pushing your beliefs unto others.
Age gaps really, really depends. You can't say 'anything over 20 is bad'- what if a 70 year old and a 90 year old are dating for the first time? You also can't say that anything under, say, 5 years, is alright, because what if a 14 year old and an 18 yea rold were dating? That's creepy as f**k. It's about maturity level, not just age. The older you get, the bigger gaps can be without getting creepy. 50 and 60 is fine, but 15 and 25 is a problem
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Also not bad but needlessly villainized: rejecting your assigned gender from birth, being open about having been born intersex.
Good points!! Except cultural appropriation isn’t what you think it is! It’s when people of the majority use culture of a minority to profit or gain where someone from the minority culture would have been oppressed.
I love the article, I just wish you would pay for someone to proofread and edit. Or add this to your list of now acceptable things, "misspellings and grammatical errors are now acceptable in articles."
Being petty or spiteful. It’s been glamorised lately and applauded. You frequently see it on BP and other social media.
I thought this was gonna be real stuff. I came in here expecting American Cheese and Nickelback. But instead I freaking got platitudes.
So if through no fault of your own you're unemployed you should live on the streets until you starve to death?
Having to constantly "further yourself". Why? I'm happy and comfortable as I am, why do I need to push myself further to achieve more greatness or something
Being religious. Religious ppl get the aggressive reputation but there is sooo much derogatory antireligious content out there that isn't even I don't believe in Gd but you are stupid and evil BC you do
Don't forget annual evaluations at work and/or bonuses. Work Management wants that hush-hush. Favoritism shows then.
Ill put a very controversial one here. I am very convinced ' elitist leaders' , leaders that actually know more, know better, like in the past are often so much better than the current populism. Neither is ideal, but populism without ideals and true leadership is much worst for society than leaders willing and able to tell people they know better.
Tell me you're racist and sexist without telling me you're racist and sexist (source; a white man)
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I think someone there at BP needs to curate these lists a little better and remove repeats.
Introversion, Having children before marriage (a big no-no in my area) Being short, Being average weight, not stick thin, Living alone, Veganism, Religion, Age gaps in relationships (within reason) literally ANYTHING in the world as long as 1) you are not hurting anyone, and 2) you are not pushing your beliefs unto others.
Age gaps really, really depends. You can't say 'anything over 20 is bad'- what if a 70 year old and a 90 year old are dating for the first time? You also can't say that anything under, say, 5 years, is alright, because what if a 14 year old and an 18 yea rold were dating? That's creepy as f**k. It's about maturity level, not just age. The older you get, the bigger gaps can be without getting creepy. 50 and 60 is fine, but 15 and 25 is a problem
Load More Replies... Also not bad but needlessly villainized: rejecting your assigned gender from birth, being open about having been born intersex.
Good points!! Except cultural appropriation isn’t what you think it is! It’s when people of the majority use culture of a minority to profit or gain where someone from the minority culture would have been oppressed.
I love the article, I just wish you would pay for someone to proofread and edit. Or add this to your list of now acceptable things, "misspellings and grammatical errors are now acceptable in articles."
Being petty or spiteful. It’s been glamorised lately and applauded. You frequently see it on BP and other social media.
I thought this was gonna be real stuff. I came in here expecting American Cheese and Nickelback. But instead I freaking got platitudes.
So if through no fault of your own you're unemployed you should live on the streets until you starve to death?
Having to constantly "further yourself". Why? I'm happy and comfortable as I am, why do I need to push myself further to achieve more greatness or something
Being religious. Religious ppl get the aggressive reputation but there is sooo much derogatory antireligious content out there that isn't even I don't believe in Gd but you are stupid and evil BC you do
Don't forget annual evaluations at work and/or bonuses. Work Management wants that hush-hush. Favoritism shows then.
Ill put a very controversial one here. I am very convinced ' elitist leaders' , leaders that actually know more, know better, like in the past are often so much better than the current populism. Neither is ideal, but populism without ideals and true leadership is much worst for society than leaders willing and able to tell people they know better.
Tell me you're racist and sexist without telling me you're racist and sexist (source; a white man)
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