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While some people are needlessly and excessively judgmental, many of us have likely ‘rewarded’ someone with a judgy look at least once or twice in our lives. Sometimes it’s difficult not to! But despite the same emotion, the reasons for judging others tend to differ quite significantly with each person.
For some, it’s their choice of clothing or the cars they drive. For others—it’s the way people handle themselves in public or the things they do behind closed doors. You get the idea—the reasons are ample. Members of the ‘Ask Reddit’ community recently discussed such reasons, after one netizen asked them about that one thing they secretly judge people for. If you’re curious to see what it is that Redditors can’t tolerate, scroll down to find their answers on the list below and feel free to upvote the reasons—if any—that might make you, too, a little judgmental.
On the list below, you will also find Bored Panda’s interview with Associate Professor of Psychology, Chair of Online Behavioral Sciences, and Director of Division of Behavioral Sciences at the University of Bridgeport, David E. Oberleitner, Ph.D., who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions about what it is that makes us judge others.
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#1
How they treat service workers. 😌.
RELATED:
#3
People who don't pick up their dog's poop. Especially in public parks or in communities where kids would want to play.
"Disembodied voice" 11 months ago
Or they leave bagged poop wherever they want. Part of having a dog is cleaning up after them.
Seeking to better understand what makes us judge other people, Bored Panda got in touch with Professor of Psychology Dr. David E. Oberleitner, who highlighted that “judgment” does not have an implicit negative connotation. “Humans judge everything in our environment,” he said. “Our brains continuously are looking for patterns, possible threats, and so on—we do this unconsciously with everything as a way to speed up processing and understanding of how we should act or respond in a certain situation.
“Judgement of others is just one aspect of that evaluative system, as quick judgements help us know how to quickly respond to the situation (for example, ‘Is this person like me?’, ‘What might this person act like?’). We unconsciously trade accuracy of judgements for speed of judgements, which can lead to errors socially.”
#4
The way they treat their pets; when they kind of ignore them or treat the pet like an accessory instead of making some kind of small acknowledgement of the pet even just scratching the head as the dog walks by. Or people that yell at their dogs. It just rubs me the wrong way.
Ann Jeppesen 11 months ago
I don't like or even trust anyone who doesn't treat animals right. If you don't love them, why have them in the first place? You're responsible for them for their whole life. Not just a part of it.
#5
Not saying please and thank you.
Good manners cost nothing
If you’re wondering if comparing ourselves to others or competing against them plays a role in our tendency to judge people, the answer is yes—yes, it does—and quite a significant one, too.
“We all have an identity that is composed of many aspects of ourselves – things like what we believe we are good at (like a sport, for instance), what social or cultural groups we affiliate with, behaviors—right or wrong—we feel are associated with our perception of who we are (for example, what is the ‘correct’ way a dad or a mom should act). These ‘self-schemas’ are another way we help speed up our processing and unconsciously help us decide how we should think, feel, or behave in a given situation,” Prof. Oberleitner said.
“We compare ourselves to others to help speed up our cognitive processing – if I see someone who looks like me, or is dressed like me, or is a similar age to me, for example, it helps me make quick automatic judgments on how they might act and how I should act toward them.
“Again, this happens unconsciously mostly, and we trade accuracy for speed of processing,” the expert noted. “Social psychology research has found that those who we view as more different than us, we also tend to notice more things about them that we will perceive as negative (or inversely, ignore things we might otherwise negatively judge in those who we perceive as more similar to us).”
#6
Taking a phone call by speaker phone.
I automatically think the person is selfish and trash.
#7
Switching lanes without the blinker.
William Teach 11 months ago
Big pet peeve. Put it on. It's called a signal because it signals your intention. Then you have the ones who put it on after they are already braking. Little late, pal!
#8
Being mean to other people for enjoying things, like brightly colored clothes, piercings, or sweatpants. I mean, I might be more comfortable in earth toned dress clothes, but to each their own. Stop tearing other people down for ENJOYING C**P. .
“Competition can definitely play a role too,” Prof. Oberleitner continued. “Research has found that when we perceive others as a threat, or we feel we are in competition with them for limited resources, we are more likely to make negative judgments. Those ‘resources’ could be real or imagined, and could be things like food and water or even access to jobs or social praise.
“Competition pushes us to see ways that others are more different than us, and can create more perceptions of in-groups and out-groups. This can then lead to someone making more negative judgments and noticing more negative behaviors in those we feel are outside of our own groups.”
#9
The aspects of their private life they share on social media.
Brian Droste 11 months ago
Then there private life is no longer private anymore. It is a public life now.
#11
Unruly kids in restaurants. Or airports.
Discussing the role our environment plays in regards to us judging others, Dr. Oberleitner suggested that if we can create the perception that someone is outside of our social group, negative judgments and increased in-group biases are more likely.
“If you can create an environment that makes people feel there are more limited resources available or create perceptions of more threats to their well-being, research supports that negative judgements may increase. The same can be true when we are uncomfortable and in stressful situations—we start to prioritize fast thinking over accurate thinking and may become more judgmental,” he explained.
#13
Watching a video/listening to music/podcasts/audiobooks without headphones in public. Same goes for speakerphone and for having a phone call where you’re talking very loudly.
Not training their dogs. If your dog is so out of control that you have to physically keep it from lunging at someone who’s literally just walking past, you have a problem. (If your dog is just trying to say hi that’s fine).
Family's_disappointment 11 months ago
Most dogs are genuinely nice, until they sense danger around them (wheather it's a person or the surrounding)
#14
Not washing their hands enough/at all after using the bathroom.
CaptainBungonia 11 months ago
How quickly society forgot "The Preachings of Covid19". Although to be fair, many of these lazy pigs didn't wash their filthy hooves pre-Covid19.
“We also tend to match the behaviors of those around us,” the expert continued. “If we see an increase in judgement of others by the people around us as more common or appropriate, we are more likely to follow those social norms and behaviors too. Conversely, if you can create a situation that helps connect people and emphasizes shared aspects of our identities, we become less apt to notice negatives in others.”
#15
Having zero situational awareness.
CaptainBungonia 11 months ago
This particular one bugs me in shopping malls. Mobile phone muppets reach the top of the travelator and just stop dead, blocking the way for those behind. I've barged through so many of these imbeciles I've lost count. And don't they act hurt and offended when those around them call them out !
#16
Chewing with their mouth open.
Grape Walls of Ire 11 months ago
I initially assumed the issue was going to be with those pants.
#17
How they parent. It’s very hard to ignore when kids are involved.
If you find yourself being needlessly judgmental towards others—and you wish you weren’t—don’t you fret, as there are things you can do to change your ways. “One of the primary ways to become less judgmental is to always remind yourself to think about the situation you are currently in and give yourself a chance to override snap, automatic judgements,” Prof. Oberleitner noted.
“Although our brain emphasizes speed over accuracy in creating our social perceptions, we can overcome that by reminding and training ourselves to think through the situation we are in when making social judgments.
“We may have an immediate judgement when seeing someone or some behavior, but we can try these three techniques to override our more automatic judgments,” the expert suggested. “Firstly, we can look for areas of overlapping identity with the other person. This allows us to empathize with them and reduce automatic judgement.
“Secondly, we can take the time to reflect on situational factors that might influence the behavior we are seeing from another person before making a judgement,” Prof. Oberleitner continued. “And thirdly, we can catch ourselves when we are making a negative judgement about another person and remind ourselves to slow down and consider other ways to perceive the individual.
“The more we practice these three approaches, the more we may be able to overlook small parts of a person we do not appreciate or find we are making negative judgments about.”
#18
Gossiping about others. That tells me they’d gossip about me too.
Averysleepypanda 11 months ago
I disagree with this one only because I truly believe everyone gossips. I'd actually go as far to say that the people who claim not too are usually the biggest offenders.
#19
How loud they are. I don't like people who don't have an indoor voice.
Timothy Jor 11 months ago
Oof if that bothers you, you'd hate visiting Greece or any other south european country. We are loud! All my foreign friends have pointed this out to me and said it made a big (and kinda negative) impression to them. It's constant in cafes, restaurants, buses, beaches even hospitals and public service agencies, everyone yells while talking and also moving their arms/hands/head around for extra emphasis.
#21
When they treat their religion like fact. believe what you want, but if you can’t recognize that your religion has the same chance of being correct as the other thousands of religions in the world then i simply cant trust your judgement.
#23
Thinking that they're so cool when they are mean to people, especially at school. And not even blatantly mean...even just if you, for example, try and catch a ball in PE and you drop it. They'll be like haha its okay, but you see them laughing to their friends out of the corner of your eye. It f*****g pisses me off because the meanest people are considered popular most of the time...it's just a bunch of b******t because they just lie and manipulate and cause so much drama to get to the top, and people are too scared to say something because they make people feel like s**t.
It is not cool to make people feel like s**t.
reuben kift 11 months ago
More often than not, they'll peak at secondary/high school. And those that continue that behaviour well in to adulthood will eventually be exposed as a liar and manipulator and will be ostracized for such behaviour.
#25
I have mixed feelings about this, but it's when I see a parent constantly shouting at their kids (even when they're still baby) and being loud and negative, especially when it happens in public transport.
#26
Too much facial filler. Especially the big lips
Also snuffleupagus eyelashes.
#27
How they treat my kid who has special needs.I unapologetically judge people who are unkind. That behavior speaks volumes to me.
WindySwede 11 months ago
Just like the dad hwo blamed his autistic son for the speeding ticket he god, I mean got, because of beeing late. 😵💫 (another post here on BP recently)
#28
People living their lives through their phone camera. Like, you're at a concert and instead of watching it, you record it to watch later. Why??
You watch a beautiful moment and record it to watch later. Why?? Just put down your f*****g phone and EXPERIENCE it!!
"Disembodied voice" 11 months ago
Just get a couple photos then put your phone away. More annoyed by people blocking the view by holding their phones up.
#29
Smoking around their kids.
#30
When they treat their kids like social media accessories. They don't actually parent. They just post their kids every move and every thought and every everything on social media. Actually I'm not so sure I secretly judge that part. I'm pretty open about it.
#31
How they spend their money. Don't complain you have no money and don't get paid enough when you told me last week you ordered door dash everyday for every meal. 🙄.
Jaq Jack 11 months ago
I have a friend like that. First off she received a large inheritance. She bought a house and put a certain amount in savings as an emergency fund. And she does work. These are all smart decisions. But then to complain and actually cry to her friends that are all deeply struggling right now that she is “so broke!” It actually really hurts. She goes out of town every weekend and takes as many days off work as she can, eats out every meal, buys whatever clothes she sees that she might desire to wear one day. Meanwhile I’m sitting here having to plan two weeks ahead to buy my son a new sweatshirt. I just want her to stop rubbing it in.
#32
Road rage
Sure, its annoying seeing stupid drivers. But why get pissed off and start swearing about it. Especially hate people who follow other drivers just to have a shouting match or sometimes a fight.
Wow you got cut off, or somone overtook you. Who cares. Just get on with your day. Don't go to prison over driving a car
I guess also people who drink and drive or speed in general. If they only ever hurt themselves I wouldn't care. But too many times you see families being killed because one twat didn't care.
Averysleepypanda 11 months ago
Swearing out loud is fine, just leave it there though and don't start acting crazy
#33
Having an imperialistic mentality. They do everything right. Everyone else is doing it wrong. “I would have done it this way” trying flex trivial/boring information. Bragging about how they have better s**t than you.
Lilly Rapson 11 months ago
And every thing they have is litteral trash bilding up that they dont need
#36
Conversation skills.
If they're quiet or shy that's fine, I get it, I'm an introvert and fairly private. But if they are dominating the conversation with constant talk of only themselves and not contributing in a meaningful way, I am absolutely judging.
#37
People boasting their body counts and the conquests they've had.
Super cringe.
#38
I'm a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, and when I'm in meetings there's always one person who shows up talks about their "war stories," how many times they've been to jail, how many times they OD, and how many substances they have to consume in order to be unresponsive. It's like they're glorifying their addiction, and I try my best to have compassion but with this particular type of person I find it exceedingly difficult.
Emma S 11 months ago (edited)
I'm in AA and I don't mind hearing the 'war stories.' It reminds me of the places addiction can take me, and the chaos that it brings. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking, so not everyone who attends and shares is sober. Also, the newcomer who is still drinking or in early recovery will likely be able to identify more with the 'war stories' than with someone who has many years of sobriety.
#39
Fishing for praise. I pretend not to notice their “discreet” begging for compliments and keep moving the convo forward. Preferably away from their favorite topic — themselves lol.
#40
Having too many kids.
Pittsburgh rare 11 months ago
There's government subsidies for families having three or more children here. They don't discriminate by income, so those religious nuts with 11 kids get not only the subsidies but also tax exemptions and heavy discounts in everything from university fees to groceries and so forth. I've always advocated for helping families from the first child and remove the aid from the 4th kid or so. If you want to birth your own football team is only fair that you pay for it.
#41
Piercing their babies ears. I know it’s sometimes cultural but it’s just so trashy to me.
Schmebulock 11 months ago
Like nose piercings on anyone. It's such a blatant look at me move when half the time that stud looks like a booger.
#42
Not trimming their nails.
#44
Licking their fingers before handing someone cash. big yucko.
#46
Responding in the group chat but ignoring my individual texts.
Sandella 11 months ago
Sometimes you don't have the energy to enter a full on 1:1 conversation.with someone, when it can take 2 seconds to drop a comment on a group chat. I'm mindful of this but sometimes it has to be done, especially when said person is a time hogger with their incessant messaging. People should be allowed to respond to messages when they want and not expected to be 100% available all the time.
#47
BIG me, little you attitude. Rubs me the wrong way.
#48
Adding salt to food before tasting it.
Ann Jeppesen 11 months ago
Unfortunately I'm guilty of that. It's such a bad habit, I'm aware of it and getting better at tasting before I add salt.
#49
Spelling “lose” as “loose”.
Ann Jeppesen 11 months ago
They might not have English as their first language. I've mixed them up before. But I also live in Denmark.
#50
Using retractable leashes for their dogs. Especially on busy roads. Good way to get your dog smoked by a car when they run into the road and there’s no tension to stop them….
"Disembodied voice" 11 months ago
I have a retractable leash for my dog but it can lock. I always set it shorter around people and roads.
#52
Whistling in public. For some reason it just really pisses me off.
Abdullah Abd Rahman 11 months ago
It's ok if it's not too loud - and especially not on public transport. Happy people whistle.
#54
How they like their steak. If it's more than medium well, I'm Judgy McJudgerson.
Brian Droste 11 months ago
I don't try to judge other people in their food choices or how they like their food cooked. We are all different and all like different food and cooked all are own way.
What do you think ?
censorshipsucks 11 months ago (edited)
I'm judgy about anyone who's rightwing/conservative. It''s a simple thing to explain. Conservatives, in general, want to conserve the status quo and/or traditions like family structures, political structures, societal structures, or race relations. If you can't see that these things NEED to change, it means you simply cannot empathise with, or even see, how others are struggling, or worse, you blame them for it. In which case, you are simply not a nice person. Or a good one. Calling people who want things to change "woke" does not work on me. It is used as if it was an insult. I do not see that. If you are not awake (woke) to how bad some peoples ' lives are - homeless, or other marginalised groups like LGBTQ+, black people, etc., and you think that their suffering is somehow their fault, and you are a conservative who blames people for their suffering, again, you are not a good person. As soon as someone says "woke" as if it is a bad thing - I can immediately tell you are a privileged person who is arrogant about your station in life, and that you fondly imagine you "earned" it (meantime you were born speaking english, white, in a middle class suburb, etc.). No. You had advantages, that's why you are ahead. Do not blame victims. That is called being an asshat.
KamaboCo. 11 months ago
I can’t tell you how many times people blamed me for being gay.
Load More Replies... Livingwithcfs 11 months ago
I was taught the worse bad manners is to point out other people's bad manners. But oh it's so hard sometimes
Endcensorship 11 months ago
It's politer to everyone else to call them out
Load More Replies...
censorshipsucks 11 months ago (edited)
I'm judgy about anyone who's rightwing/conservative. It''s a simple thing to explain. Conservatives, in general, want to conserve the status quo and/or traditions like family structures, political structures, societal structures, or race relations. If you can't see that these things NEED to change, it means you simply cannot empathise with, or even see, how others are struggling, or worse, you blame them for it. In which case, you are simply not a nice person. Or a good one. Calling people who want things to change "woke" does not work on me. It is used as if it was an insult. I do not see that. If you are not awake (woke) to how bad some peoples ' lives are - homeless, or other marginalised groups like LGBTQ+, black people, etc., and you think that their suffering is somehow their fault, and you are a conservative who blames people for their suffering, again, you are not a good person. As soon as someone says "woke" as if it is a bad thing - I can immediately tell you are a privileged person who is arrogant about your station in life, and that you fondly imagine you "earned" it (meantime you were born speaking english, white, in a middle class suburb, etc.). No. You had advantages, that's why you are ahead. Do not blame victims. That is called being an asshat.
KamaboCo. 11 months ago
I can’t tell you how many times people blamed me for being gay.
Load More Replies... Livingwithcfs 11 months ago
I was taught the worse bad manners is to point out other people's bad manners. But oh it's so hard sometimes
Endcensorship 11 months ago
It's politer to everyone else to call them out
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