“No One Wants To Admit It”: 50 Things Basically Everyone Does But Pretend Not To

We contacted TheBlanketFortPirate and they were kind enough to have a little chat with us. "I'm currently working towards starting my own coaching practice and I'm always interested in learning more about how people think and what brings people comfort or causes them shame," the Redditor told Bored Panda. "I thought asking something like this in an environment where everyone is anonymous ... might help people to let go of their shame and open up about things they usually hide."

"I also thought that reading other people's experiences of the same behaviors that we all hide might help people to feel a little less alone and a little better about themselves," TheBlanketFortPirate added.

After going through the answers, the Redditor said that, "People seem to be the most open about things they hide with their bodies, but [they also] seem to relate most to others talking about things they hide in their minds. What I mean by that is I had hundreds of people commenting about things like picking their noses or peeing in the shower, but the comments that got the most upvotes were about things like people having both sides of an argument in their head or judging others."

"I don't think it's possible to live in a society without any mask at all, but I do think we are all learning to be a little more accepting of ourselves and each other. Talking about our bodies is a whole lot less taboo than it used to be, and as we learn more about psychology and society learns to support people working towards better mental health."

"I think we're learning that it's healthy to talk about, and get support with, the difficult thinking patterns we all share. To some extent though, it's important for people to have their own internal private lives with their own bodies and their own minds, and to choose how they want to interact with and relate to others. For that reason, I think we're always going to wear some kind of mask, and I think that's okay, as long as we recognize it and don't judge ourselves or others too much."

In psychology, the propensity people feel to hide their emotions or personality traits is called masking. People experience rejection or bullying at a young age and modify the way they express themselves for an extended period afterward, potentially through the rest of their lives. But that comes with a price. Increased stress, depression, and anxiety are just some of the potential effects of masking. In extreme cases, some even develop personality disorders as well.

Masking manifests in various ways for different people, but here are three common examples of how we might hide our true identity:

• Changing how you express yourself. Altering communication patterns is one of the primary outward ways people mask who they are. You might change your body language, tone of voice, or facial expressions around specific people or in certain situations. Perhaps you try to force yourself to make more or less eye contact depending on the person;
• Hiding your authentic self. Masking behavior obscures your natural personality. For example, in certain social situations, you might pretend to like different things than you actually do to fit in. Perhaps you find yourself laughing at jokes you don’t find funny. When it comes to autism masking specifically, people with the condition might feel they need to hide the entirety of their true selves in every social interaction they have;
• Making light of your distress. Humor can act as a protective shield against bullying and social discomfort. You might feel the urge to self-deprecate whenever you’re in the limelight. For instance, maybe you jokingly refer to yourself as a “loser” because you’re afraid someone else might call you that earnestly first. Pretending to feel positive emotions rather than negative ones is another prominent form of masking.

People mask themselves for all sorts of reasons. For example:

• Economic necessity. People feel the urge to conform to social pressures especially when their job relies on it. This can lead to neurodivergent people trying to act more neurotypical or to people with disabilities attempting to hide when they’re struggling;
• Relationship dynamics. In unhealthy relationships, people engage in a lot of social camouflaging and masking to keep the other person happy. Particularly when you’ve been through verbal, emotional, or physical abuse, masking can feel like a survival mechanism;
• Social acceptance. No matter what the specific context, a desire for acceptance usually lies at the root of most types of masking. Human beings want to feel they belong, and they might become people-pleasers to do so. For example, someone might rigidly adhere to gender norms if they live in a society dedicated to maintaining those gender differences, even if they feel that’s not their true identity.

"Something I've learned from living with a brain tumor is that life is short and can throw you a curve ball at any time," the author of the post, TheBlanketFortPirate said.

"We all spend way too much time judging ourselves and others and trying to put on a good face and present ourselves as grown-ups who are in control. But a lot of the time we have no control over our brains and bodies. Don't judge yourself or others too much. If something doesn't harm you or someone else, don't take it too seriously."

"We all have things that we hide or that we're embarrassed about, but they're part of being human. If you spend too much energy worrying about the little things, getting embarrassed about things that we all do, or trying to hide very human parts of yourself, you're wasting your limited time on this earth being unhappy and missing out on a lot of the joy and magic in life," they added.