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The first thing I’ll do after quarantine and this pandemic mess is go to a restaurant. I want to see how it feels to be welcomed, seated, asked ‘what would you like to order?’, be showered with ‘excellent choice,’ poured a glass of Chardonnay, and make up my mind what to get for dessert.
Most importantly, it’s the opportunity to be smiled at and smiled to, joyfully and with ease, like nothing else exists in this world except that restaurant, the food, your companion… and the server.
But this is where it gets tricky. In such a lovely environment like a restaurant, servers still have to deal, time to time, with a fair share of serial a-holes. And it’s not a-holes per se that annoy the heck of them, it’s their a-hole behaviors that refuse to abide by unwritten rules.
For those who’re wondering what the unwritten rules actually are, I’d say it’s half common sense, half being polite, patient, and understanding. But let’s hear from the servers themselves who shared honest responses to the “What unwritten rules do restaurant servers wish patrons would abide by?” question posted on Quora.
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#1
Crying Children And Adults Who Ignore It
When children cry and cry and cry and cry in a restaurant, other people find it annoying. Please, take your child outside for a moment to calm him down.
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#2
Snapping Your Fingers At Servers
Don’t ever snap your fingers at a server, bartender, anyone. Ever.
#3
Flirting
Don’t hit on waitresses. Don’t touch waitresses. I’ve cooked in bars where my job included removing such people from the establishment with force.
#4
Touching Their Servers
When people touch their server. I'm not to be touched. I don't like it, and I'm not your pet. I'm not your buddy, baby, friend, or lover.
#5
Coming In Minutes Before Closing
If Google says that the restaurant closes at 11, the right time to order is not three minutes before closing. The staff are not people willing to work every single day overtime like they had no lives of their own. They are people with loved ones and hobbies as well.
#7
Ordering Something That's Not On The Menu
Do not order anything that isn’t on the menu. I’ve run into so many situations where customers want to make up their own dish that isn’t on the menu (ordering fish and chips at an Italian restaurant). Perhaps it’s because they don’t know how to read, and therefore can’t understand anything the menu says. That menu is there for a reason. Read it. This is not a private chef service
#8
Acting Like You Own The Place
This restaurant is not your house. You’re a paying customer. We get that, and we respect that. But do not forget that you are a guest. In addition, you are not the only guest. There are other people here too. So when you request that we turn down the music, turn up the lights, or adjust the heat/air conditioning, you should know that we may not be able to make this accommodation, even if you ask nicely. If you go on to demand such accommodations, you’re not only disrespecting us (because you’re essentially treating the restaurant like your house, and us like servants who run it for you), you’re also disrespecting the other guests (because they may not desire the same accommodations that you desire). This is not your house, and this is a space that you’re sharing with other people - and if you’re the only one asking for something to be changed, we’re unlikely to do it if it will affect other guests.
#9
Helping Without Being Asked To
I hated when customers tried to help me. Don't get me wrong. I appreciated the sentiment, but when a customer took things from my tray or grabbed things from my hand it became dangerous.
#10
Not Understanding When The Bar Is Full
Understand that when the bar is full, the bar is full. No, I'm not going to go and 'see if anyone's done' at the bar so you can squeeze in for free corn chips at happy hour. I've politely told you you're more than welcome to stand at the bar, but all the seats are taken. And for the love of god, don't try to take other customers' seats while they're in the bathroom.
#11
Not Considering The Hard Work In The Kitchen
Allergies. If the truth is you don't like a food, then just say that. Say you don’t like bell pepper. The amount of work that happens in the kitchen is hardly ever seen in the dining room. Respect the staff by not adding to that amount of work if it’s not necessary.
#12
Clients Who Can't Manage Their Time
Don’t order a well-done steak if your movie starts in 15 minutes.
#13
Being Overly Picky And Making It More Difficult For The Staff
The menu is not a canvas for your wildest imagination, unfortunately. I have come across customers who ask what ingredients do we have, and start building their own portion based on them. I know the struggle of being a hard customer and not being able to take whatever from the menu due to dangerous allergies, but don’t be picky in vain. The staff is usually crowded with special orders anyway.
#14
Disrespectful Behavior
Do not address us as “waiter”/“waitress”, or snap your fingers at us. This is basic human respect. I will openly ignore such requests for my attention, and you’ll be waiting a while for me to come back.
#15
Wasting Servers' Time
This is a more Spanish restaurant specific thing than anything, but please for the love of god do not order 6 plates and then ask me which are spicy, having me bring back the ones that are. Please. It's a Spanish restaurant, nearly everything is spicy. Stop wasting our time. You wouldn't believe how often this happens.
#16
Complaining That The Food Takes Longer To Come Out When The Place Is Busy
Food takes longer to come out when we’re busy When a restaurant is busy, it’s usually no secret. It’s loud, it’s full, staff are running around, the whole deal. You can also anticipate when a restaurant will be busy, like on Friday and Saturday nights. If you choose to dine at such times as these, you can expect your food to take longer to come out. Why? More people, more orders, more work for the kitchen to do. So if you’ve just placed your order now, it could take 20, 30, 40 minutes, or even longer than that. If that’s too long for you, none of us have any sympathy for your complaints. You knew it was busy, so you knew it would take long. You chose to dine at this time, so you knew what you were getting into. We don’t care that you’re hungry. Everybody is hungry. That’s why they’re here! What do you think we’re going to do? Bring your food out first before someone else’s, just because you’re complaining? Dream on.
#17
Not Accepting Where You're Being Seated
Please accept where I seat you. I understand you want a booth. But we only have four, and by dinnertime, I've already reserved them for my six other 6:30 reservations. And if you're a party of two, you're going to get placed at a two top. Not a full-size table.
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