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When it comes to what men find attractive in women, many assume it's all about looks. While looks play a role in attraction, there are aspects unrelated to appearance that can make men feel truly drawn to someone.

We’ve skimmed over the usual suspects: self-confidence, a nice smile, and charming eyes. Instead, we dug into some of the most unexpected traits men are drawn to.

A few of our picks might genuinely surprise you.

#1

Less Is More With Outfits

Confident young woman with curly hair wearing casual clothing, representing traits men find attractive in women.

We understand the effort that goes into creating striking looks and flawless makeup. However, men's comments reveal that the humble, classic T-shirt-and-jeans ensemble often impresses them more than anything else.

One man shared that while women may view casual outfits as unpolished, men often find them more appealing because these looks emphasize natural features.

Some men don’t even care about the clothes; they’re just thrilled to see you.

Take it from a man who said, “Leggings and a tank top, a hood—don’t get me wrong, it’s amazing when she really gets dressed to the nines for a date night, but no matter what the attire, every time I see her I’m like ‘oh that’s neat it’s her again’” (via Reddit).

Fotografía de eLuVe / Getty Images Report

Oskar vanZandt
Community Member
3 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I appreciate a woman dressing up "to the nines" for special occasions(as I will reciprocate), but I prefer the "less is more" when it comes to makeup... As long as she is comfortable and confident in her presentation. It's not up to me.

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    #2

    Messy Hairdos

    Young woman with hair in a ponytail holding a cup outdoors, illustrating what men find attractive in women traits.

    Men often value simplicity. A messy bun or loose, tousled waves can be incredibly attractive. This doesn’t refer to an unkempt appearance but natural hair that falls effortlessly or is casually styled in a messy bun.

    In a man’s words, "Lately I’ve realized that girls with messy hair are a huge turn on for me. Whether it’s up in a bun or taken down and a bit messy, it gives a natural and effortless look I find appealing. I’ve even asked friends, and they share the same opinion."

    This shows that relaxed, undone hairstyles come across as natural and alluring, a preference shared by many men.

    The next time you want to catch a man’s eye, all you’ve got to do is rock that perfectly imperfect tousled look.

    AleksandarNakic / Getty Images Report

    zatrisha
    Community Member
    3 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The author has apparently never styled a messy bun before. Either that or I have very strange hair.

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    #3

    A Loud, Goofy Laugh, Especially When Shared

    Smiling woman wearing a hat and patterned shirt covering her mouth, showing traits men find attractive in women.

    A couple that laughs together stays together.

    There’s nothing better than finding someone who shares your humor. Men find it attractive when they can let their guard down and joke with their partner.

    Add a silly laugh, and you’ll get their attention. For instance, one Redditor explained that seeing a woman get goofy and comfortable, especially when she laughs uncontrollably, made him feel a real connection.

    Other commenters agreed. One man realized his girlfriend's real personality after she became comfortable with him.

    When her goofy side came out, and their inside jokes grew, their bond became stronger and more enjoyable. This shift made their relationship feel more genuine and lasting to him.

    So take this as your sign, ladies: let your weirdness shine. With laughter paving the way, now let’s talk about style and how simple outfits can be surprisingly captivating. 

    Flashpop / Getty Images Report

    David Morgan
    Community Member
    2 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think this needs a slight clarification - I think the appeal is the unfiltered nature of the laugh, that it is genuine and 'present', not that there is an appeal from an unusual-sounding laugh. I mean, there can be appeal in that too, but I think OP is making a different point.

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    #4

    The Subtle Talent of Eye Contact

    Young woman with long dark hair sipping a drink, showcasing confident and attractive traits valued by men.

    This one’s an oldie but a goldie. There’s nothing, and we mean nothing, that’s more attractive than perfectly timed and intense eye contact.

    We’re not suggesting you give them the death stare, but a subtle glance, a look away, and a lingering look are like a perfectly orchestrated symphony in the dating world.

    A Redditor shared his story, “My wife would look directly at me when we talked back when we first met. And we talked for hours (pre cell phone do none of the texting nonsense). It was a great way to know she was being honest in everything she said.”

    As the saying goes: “The eyes, chico. They never lie.”

    Janina Steinmetz / Getty Images Report

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    #5

    The Art of Tying Ponytails

    Young woman in black crop top adjusting hair outdoors, highlighting traits men find attractive in women.

    Possibly the most specific attractiveness trait on this list, a huge chunk of men seem to be enamored by the simple yet sensual art of tying the ponytail.

    In the words of one man on Reddit, “When a girl ties her hair in a ponytail. No, I'm not attracted to the ponytail itself, but the act of producing one. The way she lifts her arms behind her head and her shirt raises a bit (b**b definition is fantastic in this position), and then she's looking at the distance with strong concentration on her face as she ties it back. Whew, I'm getting worked up just thinking about it.”

    Antonio Hugo Photo / Getty Images Report

    lenka
    Community Member
    2 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like it when men readjust thier tie. The way they coyly lift thier chin and pull the knot a little tighter - as if they dont know what they doing and how much it turns women on. /s

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    #6

    Deep and Raspy Voices

    Woman smiling with colorful abstract shapes coming from her mouth, representing traits men find attractive in women.

    Many men say they're attracted to deeper voices in women, especially when there's a raspy or textured quality. It can come across as confident and a little mysterious, like Natasha Lyonne or Scarlett Johansson.

    While some women may hate having a deeper voice, it turns out men are really into it. “There is a girl in my master’s program who has a deep, raspy voice yet is very attractive and quite petite. The combination is unbelievable,” shared one man (via Reddit).

    Another guy put it more vividly: “Didn’t know what a ‘husky’ voice sounded like in women till I heard this girl in one of my classes speak in class one day. It’s so enticing. She wasn’t my type at all, but I crushed on her for a while. When she spoke, it made me feel the same way I did when I would eat cream puffs. Creamy and smooth and oh so addictive.”

    Tara Moore / Getty Images Report

    David Morgan
    Community Member
    2 hours ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jennifer Tilly and Deborah Unger have got that classic 'smoky' voice. The reason men like a 'husky' voice isn't a surprise - women who are s******y aroused have a slight deepening of the voice (not a huge amount, it's not like they go from soprano to baritone) due to hormonal changes causing the larynx to constrict slightly, so subconsciously, men are reminded of that when they hear a raspier sound.

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    #7

    Taking Too Big a Bite and Trying To Chew

    Young woman enjoying noodles with chopsticks in a casual setting, highlighting traits men find attractive in women.

    There’s a reason the “open a buffet” girl went viral: her genuine love of food on dates shows real, relatable enthusiasm, which many men find extremely attractive.

    Men mention that seeing a woman confidently enjoy her meal, even when she takes a bite that’s a little too big and tries to chew it gracefully, feels authentic and charming.

    It’s the ideal combination of confidence, subtlety, and unfiltered authenticity that is especially endearing.

    As one Redditor shared, “I’ve always found it super cute when a girl is eating, and she takes too big of a bite and she does that thing where they bob their head back a bit and raise their hand to their mouth and half eat, half giggle.”

    This moment stood out to him as genuinely charming and memorable, reinforcing the idea that these little genuine gestures can deeply attract men.

    Svetlana Repnitskaya / Getty Images Report

    Nova Rook
    Community Member
    2 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My wife sometimes tries to cram down too much poutine down her throat and then whines about how it hurts. She's a tiny woman but loves her poutine.

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    #8

    Friendly and Flirty Banter

    Smiling woman and relaxed man in a hammock outdoors, illustrating what men find attractive in women with genuine happiness.

    Laughing together is one thing. Banter is where the real sparks fly. A little playful back-and-forth really gets the hormones rushing, especially if it feels natural and not forced.

    “If it comes easy, the banter, the chemistry, the attraction, don’t rush it,” one Redditor advised. “Go into it gently and have fun. Don’t force yourself or someone else to love. Just relax and let yourself relax around the person.”

    Men swear by it, too.

    “There have been plenty of times I found someone attractive and wanted to be with them. In order to do so, I initiated conversation and attempted to get to know them, however, it was always such a forced and awkward conversation, simply because the chemistry was not there. I’m now with someone I absolutely love, and our banter is spot on, our chemistry is amazing, and I couldn’t be happier.”

    In Redditor’s own words, a genuine connection and playful banter made all the difference for him.

    The Good Brigade / Getty Images Report

    lenka
    Community Member
    2 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I too like banter with men. Men, just remember to go into gently. Don't be TOO MUCH or take up too much space and dont be TOO funny. You cant force someone to love you with banter and we might not be able to keep up so go gently.

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    #9

    Confidence in Her Opinions

    Confident young woman with stylish hair and bold makeup representing what men find attractive in women traits.

    Having distinct views and the ability to convey them is among the things men find unimaginably sexy, especially if it challenges their own.

    One guy described how he appreciates a woman who can intelligently disagree with him. He finds it especially attractive when she has well-thought-out, consistent opinions, even during a friendly debate.

    For him, seeing someone passionate and logical about her views, even if they differ, is highly appealing. This made their conversations feel more meaningful and shows that strong opinions can deepen attraction.

    That doesn’t mean you should launch into a full-fledged debate in the middle of the restaurant, though. As another man shared, “When they’re happy to disagree and don’t feel like you have to agree on everything, it’s a huge sign of maturity and very attractive” (via Reddit).

    It’s all about striking the right balance to connect on a deeper level.

    Klaus Vedfelt / Getty Images Report

    David Morgan
    Community Member
    2 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A worryingly large number of people can't disagree on any level more sophisticated than 'you're wrong'. A disagreement (not the same as combative language) can be incredibly satisfying, especially if the other person really knows their subject and cares about it.

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    #10

    A Distinct Passion

    Young woman with curly hair caring for indoor plants, showcasing natural traits men find attractive in women.

    We’re not talking about reading books and hitting the gym. Men find it impressive when a woman has a hyper-specific, out-of-pocket hobby she is passionate about.

    This could easily be something like really being into true crime documentaries or making gingerbread houses.

    Having a really specific passion gives a sense of uniqueness that piques men's interest. For example, a man on Reddit recounted meeting a woman who was a writer.

    He explained that, although he wasn't initially physically attracted to her, hearing about her experiences and passions changed his perception, making him want to get to know her better.

    He also emphasized that many men value women who follow their interests because it brings out who they truly are, turning passion into a powerful attractor.

    If you’re a Webtoon fanatic or a brunch enthusiast, don’t hold back from letting the boys know. Moving from passion to ambition, let’s see why career goals stand out.

    Morsa Images / Getty Images Report

    lenka
    Community Member
    2 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Women like it took when men have niche interests that's not just sport and hitting the gym. Unique interests make unique men that are actually worth talking to. If you are an avid flower decorator or cake enthusiast, dont hold back from letting the ladies know.

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    #11

    Unwavering Career Goals and Ambition

    Young woman holding laptop and phone outdoors, representing confidence and traits men find attractive in women.

    Contrary to popular belief, men genuinely value a career-oriented woman.

    Men appreciate a woman who is passionate about her career goals and consistently works toward achieving them. It’s not always about financial ambition, but rather being driven to accomplish something meaningful.

    An awestruck man on Quora described an "awesome girl" he started talking to. He shared that while he appreciates traits like diligence and humor, her visible ambition stands out. He stressed that what made her so attractive was her active work toward her goals rather than waiting to pursue them later.

    This proactive quality made her stand out from others in his eyes.

    In his own words, “She’s always working hard in school or any of her pursuits because she wants to be happy and successful. She wants to make a difference. I don’t know about you, but that’s damn attractive. It’s infectious. That’s something I want to be a part of.”

    d3sign / Getty Images Report

    lenka
    Community Member
    2 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I too like it when men have a job they dont hate. It's d**n attractive to know that he is happy and successful.

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    #12

    Compliments

    Man with curly hair and glasses smiling indoors, representing what men find attractive in women traits concept.

    Women aren’t the only ones who love words of affirmation; men love them too. What they love even more is a woman who isn’t afraid to compliment them from time to time.

    According to content creator Adrian Ortiz, who is renowned for his “Things girls do that guys love” posts on Instagram and TikTok, “randomly tell him he’s handsome,” that’s all it takes to get the boys weak in the knees and butterflies in their stomach.

    Another man confirmed this, stating, “Simply put, a lot of us guys don’t get a ton of female attention, period. A small compliment, a little comment, they go farther than you think” (via Reddit).

    A compliment goes a long way, ladies, so don’t hold back from appreciating their outfits, acknowledging the effort they put in, or simply thanking them for being in your life.

    FluxFactory / Getty Images Report

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    #13

    The Simplest Acts of Empathy and Consideration

    Two people sitting on a couch holding hands, illustrating connection and traits men find attractive in women.

    Ending this list on a classic, that honestly shouldn’t be gender restrictive: empathy.

    Men can’t resist a woman who exudes care and consideration over the littlest things. It gives them a sense that she has an intentional, kind, and grounded personality.

    A man on Reddit gushed about his woman, saying, “My fiancée always stacks plates whenever we’re done eating at restaurants to make the job easier for the waiters. When we go to Costco, she places everything with the barcode visible to make the job easier for the cashiers. Just imagine how much she makes my life easier, too. Man just small things like that matter so much. So sexy.”

    It doesn’t even have to be about romance, as another man put it, “Being considerate and aware of surroundings. I was driving a female friend home after work (we worked together), and when she got out she noticed I had an empty coke can in my cup holder. She offered to take it and put it in the rubbish for me. No one has ever done that for me before and I had never been aware that it would mean so much to me” (via Reddit).
    Unsurprisingly, a little kindness goes a very long way.

    Galina Zhigalova / Getty Images Report

    Zig Zag Wanderer
    Community Member
    3 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This sounds like being polite rather than empathy, but still the most sensible I've seen here.

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    #14

    Posting Them on Socials

    Young woman holding a mug and looking at her phone, representing traits men find attractive in women naturally.

    “We love it and say we hate it,” commented a woman on Girls Ask Guys.

    A story tag, a soft-launch selfie, or even just their hand in a food picture makes them feel seen and appreciated. It has less to do with marking one’s territory and more to do with quiet reassurance and validation.

    While some men may roll their eyes and say, “Ugh, you don’t have to post me,” the second they spot the story with the tag, they’re grinning ear to ear and staring at their phones.

    FG Trade / Getty Images Report

    zatrisha
    Community Member
    2 hours ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No social media add1ction can be very attractive too.

    #15

    Having a RBF (Resting Bored Face)

    Two young women wearing sunglasses and casual summer clothes, showcasing traits men find attractive in women.

    Turns out the broad smiles are out, and men find the low-key, mean-looking woman hard to resist. According to men on Reddit, RBF is a sign that a woman has a “strong personality.”

    One of them said, “There’s something taunting about a girl who looks pissed all the time. I think it’s because when they do smile its something special and I want to be that something special.”

    Counter / Getty Images Report

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